AN:

Oni: I AM ALIVE! *looks at the torches and pitchforks the angry mob of readers are holding* AND I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! Life happened, and life happened annoyingly. Writer's block and a whole lotta other stuff came in and took time away from writing. Anyways as an apology please enjoy this longer chapter!

Eridan: I should kill you for not updatin in so long, but from the looks of it, the readers wwill do that for me.

Harry: Now you have to write the other fics.

Oni: I know! Plus write for The Adventures of Brave Heroics-

Isaac: We are still a thing!

Oni: Yes, Isaac, you guys are still a thing. Since you guys are here, how about you do the honors?

Isaac: Yay! Okay!

"English"

"Alternian"

Lucas: Oni does not own the Harry Potter franchise or the Homestuck franchise, so both the worlds and the characters belong to either J.K. Rowling or Andrew Hussie. The basic insect like design is mostly hers where applicable, but otherwise nothing else is owned by Oni. Isaac and I, however, are owned by Oni, so kindly back off of me now, Madame.

Tonks: Darn, these ones are cute too...

Oni: And ONWARDS!

Alternia Interlude - Feferi

It had been a while since Eridan had gone with Sirius to the alien's home planet, Feferi mused as she 'culled' a few more cuttlefish back into their pretty little cages. She couldn't help but feel a little jealous a the fact that he had gone on an adventure to a planet far away, but then again, she was to be Empress one day and when the time came she could travel as far as she wanted to.

Earth just sounded so much fun. Eridan and Feferi had spoken sparsely since he left through Trollian, and the things he would tell her about the alien planet awed and intrigued her so much. And the pictures he would take without the humans knowing... it all looked so surreal. A mish mash of colors that didn't signify blood or status, only color for color's sake. A mosaic of different shades that held no blood meaning, just color and colors combined. And the aliens...the humans... they all looked so different and strange and wonderful. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to be in the middle of that, experiencing it for herself...

The sunlight glittered from above, harmless to her as her abode was so deep underwater the harsh rays only made the water comfortably warm. She heard from Eridan the sun on Earth was nearly as hot or as old as Alternia's and Feferi wondered what it would be like to bask in the sunlight at midday. Absentmindedly she took a cuttlefish in her arms and stroked it's soft, slimy surface. All this thinking about where Eridan had gone eased her fears about him being okay, but amplified her desire to be there, with him, experiencing it for herself. Perhaps when things settle there and he's more familiar with Earth customs, she could go there to, to see the alien plant for herself.

The Heiress swum outside of her castle hive, and made her way towards an island that only held a broken warship. She knew Eridan wasn't there, but for some reason it made her feel closer to where she knew the entrance to the strange planet was, where he was currently exploring. Webbed paw-feet kicked the water, propelling her to Eridan's empty hive.

She missed her Moirail dearly, even with his sometimes sullen attitude. Only recently has she seen the excited troll that he was when they first met as wrigglers, like her old friend had returned to her. And now he was off, exploring a new world, and she couldn't help but want him back, to talk to her in person about all the wonderful things he had seen.

Feferi wondered if Eridan was having any problems adapting to the customs, and moreso was she worried about how he was going to get by without killing anyone for the majority of Earth's half-sweep. She knew her moirail well enough to know his...unique problems. One of those problems just happens to be some sort of insatiable bloodlust. The violet blood got twitchy if he didn't kill anything for a while, which is when she usually allowed him to go Lusus hunting. But the human Sirius had made it clear that killing was a big no-no on Earth, so she was wondering how her genocidal Moirail was going to cope.

Magenta lightening struck the ship, parts of teal wood splintering off and falling into the sea. Slowly the biological mass that was the ship's repair system coated where the lightening had struck with teal slime. The slime had an active chemical that would allow the wood to grow back, sealing the damage that had been made by the constant storms in this area. Everything seemed to be as if he were still inside of the hive, probably reading a book by the fireplace.

The waves moved her buoyant body up and down the surface of the water as she stared up at the imposing and knowingly empty warshiphive, letting the movements lull her into a sense of calm. Eridan would be alright. He knew what he was doing. Even if he didn't, there was still Sirius. And if there wasn't Sirius, then there were the other human friends her Moirail had made (no matter how strange that concept might be, as she was still wrapping her head around the fact that Eridan had left Sirius alive).

She just hoped it would be enough.

Eridan Ampora woke up early on the morning of September the first, climbing out of his recupracoon while everyone else was still sleeping in their beds. He checked the window. The sun hadn't even appeared over the horizon yet. Absentmindedly he noted again how mild the sun was here, even the humans could walk under it without dying in most cases. But habit was habit, and Eridan couldn't help but flinch as the first rays started to poke out through the buildings. While his fingers twitched to shut the curtains, he knew better than to give any cause for the other boys in the room to sleep in. Instead he washed up and got dressed for the long day ahead, carefully making sure not to wake the rest of the crew - or should he say the rest of Regulus's Legacy. A mad grin formed on his face as he recalled the night before. Yes, plans were going perfect, and soon they will down the enemy without the adults even noticing. He pattered down the stairs, soft footpads making nary a sound, assuming he would be the only one up at this hour as he made his way down to the kitchen. This was not so.

"Hey kiddo." whispered Sirius from his place at the table, munching on his toast, "Excited for Hogwarts?"

Eridan smiled. It was rare to find the Grimm animagus up this early, and the small troll was used to the lack of company in the early mornings.

"Wwhat, you think I came to this strange planet just to make friends?" Eridan jokingly quipped with a smirk, rummaging through the pantry for something to eat.

"Well, I thought you did pretty good for an alien such as yourself." Sirius replied with mock stuffiness, holding his head up high and glancing down at the small troll.

"That's because I'm awwesome and amazin." Eridan replied with a sniff, flashing the wizard a sharp toothed grin as he walked over to Sirius with a bowl of grub-meal in his claws.

"...But is see you still haven't gotten used to Earth food, have you?" Sirius added as he wearily eyed the concoction the seadweller was spooning into his mouth.

"It's not swweet enough. Honestly howw can you humans evven handle somethin so bland?" Eridan mumbled out, licking some of the bright blue mash from in between his teeth.

"Heh, guess I forget the little differences." Sirius said, shrugging his shoulders, "Which means you gotta watch yourself for those, too. Unlike here, where everyone knows you're an alien and has gotten used to it, Hogwarts won't accept anyone that's other than human, especially with the new Ministry official there. You actually have to pretend to be human. Humans are different from trolls in so many ways you basically have you watch everything from sayings to morality to that romance Quadrant thing you guys have going on."

At this Eridan sighed and replied with, "I'm vvery wwell awware."

Seeing the slightly dejected face of his first alien contact, Sirius patted the troll on the head, making sure to stay away from his lighting bolt shaped horns.

"Hey cheer up kiddo, it'll be interesting seeing Hogwarts from your point of view!"

"I guess so..." Eridan muttered out, before Sirius's words reminded him of a subject that he had wanted to breach before, "Oh yeah, before I go to Hogwwarts, I wwanted to ask you about your relationship issue."

Sirius blinked a couple of times in confusion.

"Relationship issue? I'm not sure what you're talking about. It's not like I'm in a relationship or anything." the dog animagus told the troll.

"On the contrary, you are in a facilitatin relationship. You and Remus are most definitely Moirails, but because of your deep caliginous feelins for Sevverus, he's had to become the Auspistice." the seadweller answered in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Me and Remus are Moirails? I guess that fits...wait...feelings?! For Snivillus?" Sirius sputtered out.

"See? You already havve pet names for each other. You twwo dance around the Kismessitude Quadrant but nevver go any further. Instead, Remus has to be there to break you up." Eridan quipped out, "I mean, you're both rivvals wwith unmatched hatred for each other, and it's obvvious that you havve some sort of suppressed sexual attraction towwards-"

"THERE IS NO SUPPRESSED SEXUAL ATTRACTION BETWEEN ME AND SEVERUS FUCKING SNAPE!" Sirius practically roared out in defense.

It was like an alarm. Soon noises were heard as the rest of 12 Grimmauld Place awoke to Sirius's proclamation, and footsteps thundered down the stairs. As Fate's design would have it, the first person to walk into the kitchen was a rather constipated looking Severus Snape, who after passing through the entrance walked up to the table where the two original occupants were sitting and fixed Sirius with an odd look.

"I wasn't surprised to be...woken up by your loud, crude mouth this morning Black...but I was rather...taken aback by such a...bold... statement." Severus said, his voice barely above a whisper, with the same odd look on his face.

"Wwell it's true." Eridan muttered, rolling his violet eyes, "You twwo are perfect in the black quadrant, can you please get a room already? It's sickenin to see twwo lovvers wwho refuse to confess their feelins to each other. Geez, howw can Kar stand these moments in those rom-coms of his?"

"WE DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER!" Sirius and Severus bellowed out at the same time, before their eyes both simultaneously widened (Black) and narrowed (Snape) as their heads turned to face each other.

"STOP COPYING ME" they yelled at the same time.

"I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING, YOU'RE THE ONE BEING A PRAT!"

"I HATE YOU MORE THAN I HATE MYSELF!"

Sirius couldn't seem to take it anymore as he grabbed Severus by the collar and slamming the Potions Master against the kitchen wall. Severus retaliated by pushing his old school rival off of him and fishing out his wand. Soon hexes and curses were flying left and right as the two adults circled each other, shouting insults to their opposition. Greasy black hair turned bright scarlet and gold, and Sirius's forehead now sported the word 'DUNDERHEAD' in bright green letters. As the fight continued, Harry slipped into the seat next to Eridan, still in his pajamas and his hair sticking up more than usual.

"I heard what was going on from upstairs. So what's the verdict?" the green-eyed teen whispered to his alien friend.

"My bet, they kiss at the end of the fight. That's howw it alwways wworks." Eridan told the young wizard with a smirk.

"Oh yeah? I bet they stay platonic rivals at the end of this, just loathing each other's existence." Harry returned with a grin.

"Wwhat are the stakes?" the violet blooded seadweller asked in curiosity, a single eyebrow poised high.

"If I win, you get me and my friends something like that husk-computer that you always carry around." Harry answered with a wide smile, he had wanted to get his hands on one of them for a while, but the troll had refused him on the grounds of 'the technology might be too advanced for humans'.

"Husktops? Vvery wwell. Howwevver if I wwin, you wwill alloww me to get awway wwith vviolence for the entirety of the Hogwwarts year." Eridan retorted, his long, sharp teeth bared, showing his excitement.

After a few seconds of watching the impromptu duel, the rest of Regulus's Legacy filtered in, mindful of the spells that were being cast left and right by the two enraged men. They were quickly filled in on the missing information, including the formation of Regulus's Legacy to Luna, Hermione and Ginny. After the girls had agreed to join the Parasite-Hunting group, the members of the Legacy watched the duel with great curiosity. After all, those two obviously hated each other, but not in the way Eridan was thinking of. This was Earth, not Alternia, Kismessitudes didn't happen here.

...Right?

Fortunately for the human teenagers, Remus had sprinted down the stairs and broke Sirius and Severus up from their fight. There was no hate-filled kissing like the ones at the end of every rom-com Eridan had ever watched with Karkat, so the seadweller was left with a slight sense of disillusionment. His Alternian romance films had failed him once again. On the other hand, the three adults were confused on why the others kids were cheering.

Eridan shook hands with a widely grinning Harry, promising the teen that the Legacy would get their husktops by the next week.

The hour before the group of wizards and witches left for King's Cross Station was an absolute mess. Items were packed, then someone would remember something they had forgotten, and their trunks had to be repacked. Things were shifted around, and items went missing. Somehow the Twins tried to levitate their trunks down the stairs and the heavy loads knocked into Ginny, causing her to fall down a flight of stairs. During all of this madness Eridan, who was as meticulous with his packing as he was with his research, was ordering some husktops for the Legacy, as promised. He hoped that his designs (all husktops required the troll's identification symbol, so Eridan was forced to make something up for each of them) were well received. As he submitted the form for the final husktop, his Trollian pinged. The violet aristocrat raised an eyebrow in slight surprise. Who on Alternia would be contacting him now? Kar? Fef?

- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] -

AA: hi eridan!

CA: megido

CA: to wwhat do i owwe the pleasure

AA: well y0u kn0w h0w the rum0r mill is with 0ur friends! i just wanted t0 make sure 0f this 0ne myself!

CA: an wwhat rumor wwould that be

AA: that y0ull be in h0gwarts silly!

CA: ...howw did you find out about that

CA: more specifically howw did you knoww the name

CA: i nevver told anyone wwhat the name wwas

AA: as f0r y0u being 0n an0ther planet, every0ne kn0ws by n0w!

CA: the name megido

CA: howw did you knoww about Hogwwarts

AA: 0h im sure y0ull find 0ut s00n! 0u0

CA: megido wwhat are you up to

AA: i g0tta g0 n0w eridan! have fun and d0nt f0rget t0 talk t0 the gh0sts!

CA: aradia wwhat are you talkin about

AA: ill see y0u s00n!

CA: ara im fuckin serious wwhat are you gettin at

- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] -

Well that was new. And kind of creepy. How did she know where he was going? How did Aradia Megido of all people know that he was going to Hogwarts? She didn't even talk to him that much before, other than the occasional archeological banter. Then again, there were worse people that could have come across his whereabouts. Had it been Serket...he shuddered at the thought. No, better Megido who he never really conversed with that much learn of Hogwarts. She was a kind soul, he had no qualms with the rust blooded adventurer.

As the racket outside his room grew steadily in volume, Eridan shut his husktop, capchalogging it before going to investigate what kind of insanity the humans had run into now. He will figure out the mystery Megido had given him later.

Wizards, Eridan thought to himself, had to be the most illogical beings he had ever come across (though to be fair, most of the creatures he came across were usually dead a few seconds later). Magic could be used in so many brilliant ways, mostly to hide their society from the 'muggle' populace. The trick with 12 Grimmauld Place was incredible, and rather ingenious.

The entrance to Platform Nine and Three Quarters was just plain stupid.

Yes, yes the best way to be discreet in front of masses of bustling people is to run head-first at full speed into a fucking wall.

After sending an incredulous look to Harry, who merely shrugged in reply, Eridan (who had downed the potion before he left the house) rolled his eyes and ran through the entrance of Platform Nine and Three Quarters. His now-invisible horns felt the tingle of magic pass through him as he marveled the brief flicker of silver energy that allowed him entrance into the hidden area, years of practice allowing his eyes to stay stubbornly open even as he ran face-first into a brick wall. Once more was he assaulted with noise and movement, the wizards and witches being even louder than their non-magical counterparts on the other side of the wall.

A scarlet steam train (holy shit it looked so archaic he might as well call himself Orphaner Dualscar) sat at the tracks, with the gold letters spelling out the title 'The Hogwarts Express'. All these different shades of proud red...Eridan wondered if Karkat would be happy to know that his blood color was a social norm here (then again, all humans bled his shade anyway, didn't they?).

"Oh, well what do we have here? It's Black's bastard child!" a voice rang out from the station.

Eridan turned on his heel to look at the Malfoy heir, who was sneering down at him with two large bodyguards on either side of him as an intimidation factor. Ha, like that was going to work on him, which of the two of them had more blood on their hands? Whilst homicidal thoughts began to swirl in his head, the small troll smiled mock-innocently at the platinum-blond ponce.

"Wwell, wwell, wwell, if it isn't Malfoy. I thought I told you back at Madame Malkin's not to mess wwith me." Eridan told him with a cold smile.

This time however, Draco Malfoy did not back down. Instead, he let out a short guffaw, and his cronies followed after.

"I'd like to see an undersized bastard child with a speech impediment try that. I bet he can't even say any of the spells right!" Malfoy said more to the people around him than to Eridan himself.

At this slight, Eridan growled lowly, which only made Malfoy guffaw louder. After all, a cute thirteen year old growling wasn't very frightening. He didn't have his horns, or his teeth, or his claws. All of his intimidating features had been hidden with the potion.

"Oh look, the puppy is growling at me! Bad puppy. Sit! Roll over!" the blond wizard mock cooed at him whilst laughing loudly, holding his sides at his own joke.

His two bodyguards (who looked like they were severely lacking in the think pan department) also started to guffaw along, making Eridan's lower eyelid twitch in annoyance. Never, in all his sweeps of life, had he ever been treated with such disrespect. How dare this human treat him like some weak little wriggler! Homicidal thoughts took the forefront of his minds, clouding his thoughts with his natural instinct to destroy, and his violet eye glinted dangerously as a feral sneer marred his face. Looks like he better teach Malfoy some manners, if he survived the first lesson. His fingers were now caressing the handle of Angel's Wrath, but just as he was about to blast the pureblooded teen to smithereens, Eridan's arm was grabbed and the troll was dragged off in the other direction.

"Eridan, we discussed this. You can't just kill people you hate. Not here." came the low voice of his assailant, who was none other than Harry James Potter.

"Did you hear wwhat he wwas sayin? Puttin him dowwn wwould havve been a public favvor." the small disguised seadwelling troll huffed out.

"As much as I agree with you on that, I have to remind you that humans have a no-kill rule. There are laws against murder here, and I doubt you'd want to end up in Azkaban." Harry told Eridan in a serious voice, shaking his head slightly, "Come on, let's go find a compartment."

The older teen led the small troll into the train, and after a few minutes of searching found an empty compartment near the back. After placing the trucks in the small crevices underneath the seats, Harry guided Eridan into a train seat, where the homicidal seadweller proceeded to sulk. After a few minutes had passed, the compartment door opened to reveal Neville, Luna, and Ginny, followed quickly by the Twins.

Without missing a heartbeat, Fred cast an expansion charm on the compartment so that the relatively large group could fit inside without much hassle, and the members of the Legacy settled down in their now much roomier seats. Before anyone could ask about the sullen troll child sulking in the corner, the compartment opened once again to reveal Ron and Hermione, both wearing their shiny new prefect badges.

"Sorry guys," Ron started with a guilty voice, "we've got to sit at the prefects compartment before doing our rounds...why is Eridan slumped in the corner like that?" he finished quizzically.

"I stopped him from blasting Malfoy." Harry replied, trying to hide his grin.

"Mate, why didn't you let him? Would have been doing us all a favor!" Ron asked with an incredulous look on his face, only to be promptly hit upside the head by Hermione.

"Ron! Think about the consequences! If Malfoy was killed or even hurt in front of so many people they would be calling for Eridan's blood!"

Ron at least had the sense to look sheepish while the disguised troll sulking in the corner muttered about stupid planetary morals barring him from committing much-needed culling duties. This earned a nervous chuckle out of those who heard him, knowing full well that unlike the rest of the Legacy, who had always made jokes about the Malfoy heir's demise, the small seadweller was being completely serious in his outspoken homicidal thoughts.

Soon afterwards Ron and Hermione left to join the other prefects, and the rest of the legacy sans Eridan fell into various conversation, leaving the small troll to stew in his thoughts for a little while longer.

But he didn't stew for long, as shouting from the platform dragged his attention away from his less than benevolent ideas on what he could do to Malfoy. It was a wailing woman, crying and hugging what Eridan assumed to be her child as the tiny human prepared to board the train. The child in question had flushed pink with embarrassment, and made a show of trying to pull away. A taller human, who Eridan deducted to be the father of the child by the similarities between the two of them, gave the child a pat on the head and a tight hug, before saying something to the child that the small troll could not make out.

The strange emotions they, and countless other of these 'families' gave off were similar to that of the Order, and yet the seadweller still felt uncomfortable every time he came into contact with him. It made him feel warm and fuzzy inside and for a fish that usually meant death, more death, and maybe some sort of mould growing on top. How humans submerged themselves with such an emotion was almost beyond the violet blooded alien's comprehension.

The human child clinged onto the custodian for a good minute before leaving to board the train. Eridan couldn't be sure but he swore that all three of them were shedding tears. How pathetic. Humans are so incredibly clingy. Why cry over someone who's coming back? It's not like they're dead or anything. And human children only leave for less than half a sweep! Though to be fair, a Lusus does tend to cry if their charge isn't back at the hive after a few days pass...

There really was so much about humans that the alien couldn't understand, and needed to pick up fast.

Eridan eventually seemed to get over his, for a lack of a better term, homicidal bitchfest and joined the other members of the compartment in conversation. For this, Harry was grateful, as it meant not having to snap a genocidal alien out of a murderous haze. So the group chatted about what they would expect from the year ahead, and how they were going to track down the rest of Lord Snakeface's Parasites. Harry had no idea where the others might be, as his main focus was getting the Parasite inside his scar first without killing himself in the process.

Fred and George decided, when conversation had grown stagnant, to show off their skills at speaking Alternian, just so they could plan pranks behind the Professors' backs. They attempted to speak in the strange language of which Harry could only understand a few words in, watching as Eridan's childish face screwed up into a grimace.

"You havve the grammar right, but your pronunciation is atrocious. If I didn't knoww you twwo better then I wwould havve thought you twwo had said..." he whispered into George's ear, making the ginger twin rear back in horror.

"We did not... we did NOT mean to say that!" Fred sputtered out after George muttered into his ear just what Eridan had told they said.

"Pronunciation is vvery important for some wwords...especially those ones." Eridan told them with a growing smirk.

Before the Weasley twins could retaliate against the troll, the Trolley Lady knocked on their compartment door with her cart full of sweets, and soon all fighting ceased in leu of enjoying some magical sweets. Harry had dared Eridan to try out one of every type of sweet, making sure Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans were the last. The troll almost immediately dismissed the licorice wands on the grounds of not being sweet enough, horrified everyone in Regulus's Legacy (sans Ron and Hermione, who were not in the compartment) with his interest in the Blood Pops, and widened his eyes as the Acid Pop seemed to fry a hole through his now fat, pink tongue.

"Don't worry, there's magic embedded in it to heal your tongue after you finish it." Fred chuckled out, giving his twin a knowing jab in the ribs.

"At the risk of burnin the rest of my tongue off?!" Eridan practically screeched (not that he'd ever admit that later, the troll's pride was at stake).

"Well, yeah, that's the fun of it!" the twins answered in unison.

The chocolate frogs soon made their own debut, with the older teens laughing as they assaulted the poor disguised seadweller with multiple magically hopping chocolates at once. Once the commotion had died down, Ginny and Luna took it upon themselves to sort the chocolate frog cards and show Eridan who each of the people in the cards were. While the small troll was distracted by the impromptu lesson, Ginny passed him a small violet colored bean, making Harry chuckle at her cunning idea. Without really thinking about it much, as Alternia also had jelly beans, Eridan popped the bean into his mouth. Immediately his face became thoughtful.

"Huh, I didn't knoww humans had pastel flavvored beans..."

A groan escaped from Neville and Ginny.

"Really, he gets a safe one on his first go? That's just not fair!" the round faced boy grumbled before choosing what he hoped was a safe red bean, "Aack! Hot Pepper!"

Harry couldn't help but laugh, patting Neville on the back as the teen tried to cool his mouth down with a pumpkin pasty.

"That's just your bad luck mate!" the Emerald eyed Gryffindor told him with a grin, "And next time you try one, never pick the innocent looking ones. Those are always the worst. Go for the weird ones."

"Speaking from experience?" Neville asked Harry while dubiously staring at the cream colored bean speckled with brown dots that the raven haired boy had handed him.

"Yeah. It works though. Go on, try it."

With one final suspicious glance at the Boy Who Lived, the Longbottom heir ate the strange looking bean. His eyebrows raised upwards in surprise.

"Toasted marshmallow." the teen said in mock wonderment.

At this, Harry grinned widely.

"See? That's all there is to it." he chuckled out before eating his own beans.

An hour later had both Ron and Hermione opening the door to the compartment, already in their uniforms with their prefect badges pinned to their cloaks.

"We're almost at Hogwarts, so you should change into uniforms now."

At this, the group split off with Ginny and Luna headed towards the bathrooms to change and the remaining boys to change in the compartment.

"Almost home..." Harry murmured to himself.

Harry was absolutely positive those things pulling the carriages weren't there the previous year's he had attended Hogwarts. There were creatures standing in front of each carriage, and if he had had to give them a name Harry supposed he would have called them horses, though there was something reptilian about them too. They were completely fleshless, their black coats clinging to their skeletons, of which every bone was visible. Their heads were dragonish, and their pupil-less eyes white and staring. Wings sprouted from each wither, vast, black leathery wings that looked as though they ought to belong to giant bats. Harry could not understand why the coaches were now being pulled by these creatures when they were quite capable of moving along by themselves.

"When did they get the new...horses?" Harry asked Hermione, who was walking toward the nearest carriage.

"Those are hoovvebeasts?" Harry heard Eridan whisper, watching the troll eye the creatures with great interest.

Hermione looked over their ride and back at Harry with a perplexed expression.

"What horses? The carriages drive themselves." the bushy haired girl replied.

"No they don't," Luna said matter-of-factly, "the carriages are pulled by Thestrals. You can only see them if you've seen death." at this she pointedly glanced at Eridan, who was prowling up to one of them, "People tend to think they're a bad omen because of that, but they're really very kind. I visit them a lot." To prove her point, she started petting one of them, and the Thestral nuzzled further into her hand.

After that the group (minus the twins, who had joined Lee, Angelina, and Katie in another carriage) piled into the carriage and the Thestrals started their journey towards the castle.

"Hey guys," Neville whispered to the group, "I just realized Hagrid's not here."

Harry spun around to look at where the first years were congregated. Indeed, instead of Hagrid, Professor Grubbly-Plank was leading the soon-to-be students towards the rickety boats. Something Dumbledore told the Order (while he and the others eavesdropped) floated back towards the forefront of his mind. Oh right, Hagrid was supposed to be out there gathering Giants to their side of the war. Well, Harry thought, better him than me. The only thing I know about Giants is that they're humongous, stupid, and really hate the sound of trumpets.

Soon conversation tentatively turned to the Malfoy scion.

"Malfoy was being absolutely foul to a first year back there, I swear I'm going to report him, he's only had his badge three minutes and he's using it to bully people worse than ever..." Hermione grumbled, her hair frizzier than normal due to her worrying.

"He probably blackmailed to get that position." Ginny pointed out, "This isn't the first time he's pulled something like this."

"You see this is wwhy you should have let me cull him." Eridan muttered out with a slightly imperious air, "I wwould only be doin my duty after all."

"Eridan, we've been over this. No killing people." Harry sighed out as he put is hand on the troll's shoulder, "Scaring him, however, is allowed. Can you do that instead?"

"HARRY! Don't give him ideas!"

"Relax Hermione," Ron told his rather miffed friend, patting her back, "this is a better alternative to him killing the Slytherins."

"I suppose... Just make sure that if you do, don't get caught." Hermione said with a sigh of defeat.

"Of course not. What do you take us for Hermione? Amateurs?" Harry replied with a grin, mimicking the Twins' common saying.

"I wwill attempt to keep my homicidal tendencies to a minimum." Eridan told her solemnly.

"I guess that's the best I could hope for..." Hermione sighed out.

The carriages cleared the thick of trees, and in its wake left only what was ahead. And what was ahead was the Hogwarts Castle, standing proudly in the night. On one side of them was the Black Lake, illuminated by the moonlight, and Harry watched as the first-years-to-be stared with absolute wonder at the castle they would soon be living in. A wave of nostalgia hit the scar-headed teen, and let out a sigh of contentment. Yeah, Voldemort was back and was gathering followers for a war again, but right now the only thing that mattered was that he was going home, even if that home was filled with danger and gossiping children.

Harry turned to Eridan, who was looking at the castle in awe and grinned. He supposed that even though the alien had seen his fair share of Alternian castles, Hogwarts still takes the cake.

"So, what do you think?" Harry whispered to the troll, who was still staring at the castle in the distance.

"That's Hogwwarts?" was all the reply Harry got.

"Yeah, and to a lot of people, it's home as well."

Soon enough the carriages reached the castle, and the teens hopped out of them and walked up to the entrance of the castle before Hermione stopped one of their group. Harry looked back to see his bookworm friend hold an arm out to stop Eridan from passing through.

"Wwhat's wwrong?" asked the disguised alien with a quizzical look on his face.

"Since this will be your first time at Hogwarts, you'll be Sorted along with the first years." Hermione answered primly.

"If that was the case, wwhy wwas I not put on the boats like them as wwell?"

"We had to keep a close eye on you to make sure you didn't try to kill any of the first years." Hermione countered with a half hearted glare.

"Or the teacher." Ron supplied, making some of the group snort and Hermione roll her eyes.

"Ron and I will wait here with Eridan, you guys go on ahead."

"Why do I have to say?" Ron whined.

"Because we're both Prefects now Ronald! It's our duty!" Hermione snapped.

Harry merely shrugged and turned towards the castle.

"See you at the Feast then."

It didn't take long for Professor Grubbly-Plank to arrive with the rest of the first years, stopping at the steps where Eridan, Hermione, and Ron stood.

"What's going on here?" the woman asked, confused.

"This is Eridanus, he's a third year starting at Hogwarts, so he needs to be Sorted with the first years." Hermione told her in a slightly pompous tone.

"Ah, Dumbledore told me there was going to be something like that this year. Very well child, come with me." Professor Grubbly-Plank muttered whilst motioning for Eridan to come along, before turning to Ron and Hermione, "I'll take it from here. You two go and join the rest of your housemates at the Feast."

The two Gryffindor Prefects simply nodded before heading into the castle, passing by a rather familiar woman who was heading the other way. It was Professor McGonagall, who had come to greet the first years like she did every year. Professor Grubbly-Plank silently handed the children over to the tartan dressed Deputy Headmistress, and McGonagall led the first years (plus Eridan) into a small chamber off to the side of what Eridan assumed was the Great Hall. All the way the little troll marveled at the interior of the castle, smiling once again at the mix of colors that the humans loved to use.

Once everyone was inside the chamber, McGonagall turned to the group of nervous children.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," she started, "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your Houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your House will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your House, sleep in your House dormitory, and spend free time in your House common room.

The four Houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each House has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your House points, while any rule breaking will lose House points. At the end of the year, the House with the most points is awarded the House cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever House becomes yours.

The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting. I shall return when we are ready for you, please wait quietly."

With that said, Professor McGonagall left the chamber, leaving Eridan alone with a crowd of defenseless children. Of course, he could do anything, but it made him feel a little better thinking that none of these humans could actually hurt him. This happy thought, however, was disrupted by a shriek. About twenty ghosts had just streamed through the back wall. Pearly-white and slightly transparent, they glided across the room talking to one another and hardly glancing at the children also occupying the room. They seemed to be arguing amongst each other, and only after the disguised troll cleared his throat did they notice the crowd of terrified first years.

"New students!" a fat ghost with frills exclaimed, "About to Sorted? Ah, how quickly the time flies! Hope you get Sorted into Hufflepuff, that's my House, you know."

"Move along now," came the sharp voice of McGonagall, "The Sorting Ceremony's about to start."

One by one, the ghosts floated away through the opposite wall. As Eridan watched mass of silvery bodies, he could have sworn he saw a familiar pair of spiral ram horns.

"Now, form a line," Professor McGonagall told the first years and Eridan, glancing at the troll briefly, "and follow me."

The children did as they were told with barely a sound, too nervous to do anything else. They walked out of the chamber, back across the hall, and through a pair of double doors into the Great Hall.

And lo and behold, the most interesting sight Eridan had seen so far. The Great Hall was lit by thousands of candles that were floating in midair over four long tables, where the rest of the students were sitting, each with their own corresponding colors of ether red, yellow, blue or green, laid out with golden nutrition plateaus and what appeared to be golden chalices. Dotted here and there among the students, the ghosts shone misty silver, and Eridan tried to catch another glimpse of those familiar horns to no avail. Looking up, he saw the starless sky instead if a regular stone ceiling, remembering how it was like that from that book Hermione lent to him.

At the top of the hall was another long table where all of the adult humans were sitting, and Eridan spotted Severus from his place near the green table and the slitherbeast motif. Professor McGonagall led the first years up to this table, so that they came to a halt in a line facing the other students, with the other professors behind them.

The Deputy Headmistress walked around the side of the table, and silently placed a four-legged stool in front of the standing children. On top of the stool she put a pointed wizard's hat. This hat was patched and frayed and extremely dirty. Immediately the Great Hall went silent. Eridan looked at them incredulously. What was going on?

The whole school waited with bated breath for something to happen.

Then the rip near the hat's brim opened wide like a mouth and the hat burst into song:

"In times of old when I was new

And Hogwarts barely started

The founders of our noble school

Thought never to be parted:

United by a common goal,

They had the selfsame yearning,

To make the world's best magic school

And pass along their learning.

"Together we will build and teach!"

The four good friends decided

And never did they dream that they

Might someday be divided,

For were there such friends anywhere

As Slytherin and Gryffndor?

Unless it was the second pair

Of Huffepuff and Ravenclaw?

So how could it have gone so wrong?

How could such friendships fail?

Why, I was there and so can tell

The whole sad, sorry tale.

Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those

Whose ancestry is purest."

Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose

Intelligence is surest."

Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those

With brave deeds to their name,"

Said Hufflepujf, "I'll teach the lot,

And treat them just the same."

These differences caused little strife

When first they came to light,

For each of the four founders had

A House in which they might

Take only those they wanted, so,

For instance, Slytherin

Took only pure-blood wizards

Of great cunning, just like him,

And only those of sharpest mind

Were taught by Ravenclaw

While the bravest and the boldest

Went to daring Gryffindor.

Good Hufflepujf she took the rest,

And taught them all she knew,

Thus the Houses and their founders

Retained friendships firm and true.

So Hogwarts worked in harmony

For several happy years,

But then discord crept among us

Feeding on our faults and fears.

The Houses that, like pillars four,

Had once held up our school,

Now turned upon each other and,

Divided, sought to rule.

And for a while it seemed the school

Must meet an early end,

What with dueling and with fighting

And the clash of friend on friend

And at last there came a morning

When old Slytherin departed

And though the fighting then died out

He left us quite downhearted.

And never since the founders four

Were whittled down to three

Have the Houses been united

As they once were meant to be.

And now the Sorting Hat is here

And you all know the score:

I sort you into Houses

Because that is what I'm for,

But this year I'll go further,

Listen closely to my song:

Though condemned I am to split you

Still I worry that it's wrong,

Though I must fulfill my duty

And must quarter every year

Still I wonder whether sorting

May not bring the end I fear.

Oh, know the perils, read the signs,

The warning history shows,

For our Hogwarts is in danger

From external, deadly foes

And we must unite inside her

Or we'll crumble from within.

I have told you, I have warned you...

Let the Sorting now begin."

The hat became motionless once more, and applause broke out, though it was punctured with muttering and whispers. All across the Great Hall students were exchanging remarks with their neighbors, but Eridan paid no heed to them. The hat just sang a most curious song, not only describe the Houses but also giving the school a warning. If the noise from the Great Hall was something to go by, this was not a normal occurrence at all. It only pointed to how dangerous things were getting around here in this area of the strange planet, and Eridan wondered once more if there was anything he could do to get around that infernal 'no killing' rule.

Suddenly, the Great Hall went silent as McGonagall glared sternly at all those who were whispering, before unfurling the parchment in her hands and shouting out:

"Abercrombie, Euan."

The child looked absolutely terrified as he stumbled forward and put the Hat on his head, which was only prevented from falling right down to his shoulders by his very prominent ears. The Hat considered for a moment, then the rip near the brim opened again and shouted,

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The students sitting at the table with the roarbeast motif stood up and clapped, Eridan noticing that most of Harry and his friends belonged to this House.

With that, Eridan ran his human name through his mind, waiting his turn. Slowly, however, the amount of students thinned and the troll realized that since he was going into a different year, he was probably going to be Sorted last. Perfect, another reason to stand around in anticipation, which was grating on Eridan's already thinning patience.

Finally, the last first year student "Zeller, Rose" was sorted into Hufflepuff.

"Ampora-Black, Eridanus!"

In hindsight, Eridan should really have expected the stares and the whispering, but at the time when he was walking up to the Sorting Hat, the only thing running through his mind was how to kill all those little whelps staring at him.

Blackness covered his sight, and Eridan felt something rifle through his mind.

"Well, well." a voice that sounded like the singing hat muttered in his head, "What do we have here? You are not from here, are you Mr. Ampora?"

"No, I'm sure you knoww I'm not." Eridan thought-replied, "I assume you are the Sorting Hat?"

"That I am. And I must say, it is truly a marvel to look into the mind of such a creature as yourself, who has come from a world rather different than our own. So many things are the same, and yet not so. It is a good thing you are to be Sorted last, as this might take a little bit. I would have to take your upbringing into consideration, though I have to wonder if it should really matter. You are, after all, an anomaly.

Now, where to put you...

There is no question to your cunning and ambition, your drive to destroy and defeat is not lost on me. Slytherin would do you well, however... Your loyalties to your friends are unmatched, and while betrayal is common in Alternia, the close knit group of friends that you have there seem to lack any traitorous thoughts, yet the passive Hufflepuff House does not fit your personality all.

Your friends at Gryffindor, I'm sure, would grandly accept you and your...trigger-happy ways, and your bravery in exploring an unknown world could certainly put you in the House of the Lions.

...but you seem to have caught onto my train of thought, haven't you Mr. Ampora? That is correct. While you are brave in the face of a strange new world, it is your need to understand it that drives you. Your cunning and ambition spawn from your pursuit of knowledge, and your loyalties strengthen the more you know about them. There is only one House that I can place you as. And that House is..."

"RAVENCLAW!"

AN:

Oni: That's all for now, folks!

Eridan: Don't forget to Read, Revieww, and Favvorite.

Harry: Check out Oni's other (probably in-updated) fanfictions!

Lucas: And if you really must, you can read the story I come from, The Adventures of Brave Heroics, on Wattpad dot com.

Isaac: And we shall see you next time, my pretties!

Oni: ISAAC! THAT'S MY LINE!