Will does not follow me down quickly, and when he finally does make it he immediately says to me, "Let's never do that again."
On the ground in this strange new place, when the last person has landed, it becomes clear just how small the transfer class is. There can't be more than a hundred of us, maybe not even seventy-five. An older woman with a shock of purple through her dark brown hair separates the Dauntless-born from the transfers.
"My name is Lauren," she says. "I usually teach at the circus camp, but for the next thirteen weeks I will be training you Dauntless-born. None of you need a tour, so I'll take you to your dorm." She leads the much larger gaggle of teens in black down one hallway and we are alone with the young man who pulled me out of the net.
"And I will be your initiation instructor," he says. "In the off-season, I work as a security analyst. You can call me Four."
"Four?" repeats a short Candor girl with a snicker. "Like the number?"
"Exactly like the number," he replies. "Is that a problem?"
"No."
"Good." He leads us down another hallway of rough gray stone.
I remember learning in faction history that the Dauntless compound is the oldest of the five faction headquarters. While every other faction remodeled, relocated, and tore down things that became outdated, Dauntless simply built onto what they already had. I wonder how deep these tunnels go.
"I'm taking you to the Pit," says Four, breaking my train of thought. "It's the center of like in–"
"'Pit'?" snorts that same Candor transfer. "Creative."
Four stops and approaches the girl, who he towers over. He says, "What's your name?"
"Christina," she squeaks, all of her bravado gone in an instant.
"Well, Christina, if I had wanted to deal with a bunch of people who didn't know how to keep their mouths shut, I would have gone to Candor. But I'm not Candor, and neither are you, so be quiet. Got it?"
She nods, shrinking back.
Four begins to walk again and I hear Christina whisper to the Abnegation girl – who I vaguely remember being called Beatrice, "What a jerk."
"Maybe he just doesn't like to be laughed at," Beatrice replies.
I lean forward to whisper as well. "Maybe he should have picked a less stupid name then."
Four throws open a pair of double doors and light spills into the hallway. Here we can once again see the orange streaked sky through large panes of glass, but what lies in front of us can only be described as a 'pit'. It stretches down, and down, and down into the earth with shops and suites of all kinds on every level.
I see someone at the bottom point up at us, yell something, and a cheer begins to spread through the throng assembled here.
"Okay," says Four, rolling his eyes. "That's enough of that."
He leads us down another winding hallway, this one sloping gently downward. I wonder how anyone finds their way in this place; it doesn't seem to have any signs.
Distantly, I hear a rush of water that grows louder as we walk. The tunnel opens up again to another skylit cavern. Here there are no people, giving it an almost otherworldly feeling. There is a small metal bridge over a yawning drop. At the bottom winds a rushing river, beating against sharp stones. A spray of white water nearly splashes my front. I can't see its end in either direction.
"Our Chasm reminds us of the line between bravery and idiocy!" Four shouts above the roar. "A daredevil jump over one of these railings will end your life quickly and painfully. It has happened before and it will happen again."
Will turns to me. "This is – this is amazing. I mean, how do you think they routed this water down here? It's not like we've got a bunch of stray rivers lying around. Do you think it comes in from the lake?" He leans over the railing to get a better look and I follow. Beneath the water, it might just be a trick of the light, but I swear I see some kind of reflection.
Before I can look closer though, Will and I simultaneously notice that we are being left by our group.
We're following Four down several more twists and turns before we reach a dead end with three doors, one on each wall. The two side doors are marked for boys and girls. The final door Four throws open. Inside is a sprawl of bunkbeds and underneath each are two baskets. By the door, in large boxes, are heaps of black clothes.
"This is where you'll be staying for the next ten weeks," says Four. "Everyone grab a uniform and get changed."
"Wait, wait," interrupts yet another Candor, this one with messy ginger hair and beady dark eyes. "Girls or boys?"
"Both," replies Four to the amusement of the crowd. "Ground rules: everyone has to be in the training room by seven AM Sunday through Friday. You'll train until six in the evening with an hour break for lunch at noon. Saturdays and time before and after training is yours. There will also be a three-day weekend between stage one and stage two for you to look forward to. But none of you are allowed to leave the compound without a Dauntless member accompanying you." He waves us in. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes; get changed, then we'll get rid of your old clothes."
He leaves and we all start to find a space we like. Will and I choose a bunk near the far corner, him on top and me on the bottom. I shove my journal beneath the mattress when no one is looking. I don't know what they'll make us do with our clothes, or our phones, or our wallets, but this needs to stay with me. It just does.
Part of me is glad to peel off my torn tights, ruined dress, and marred jacket. But when I lay it on the bed before me, now standing in a plain Dauntless shirt and sweats, I feel sick. Twenty-four hours ago, I was sitting in front of my closet trying to imagine a selection of blacks. Now it is my reality. The dress I hold in my hands is georgette and chiffon, and last month I was twirling before a mirror in it with my mother and best friends telling me how beautiful I looked. Now there is a rip in the full skirt, a waste of all that money we spent on it.
Will puts his hand on my shoulder, his lovely suit folded over his other arm.
"Mim–" he starts.
"Mimi," I correct him though my voice wavers. "It's - um…I changed it."
"I like it," he says softly.
Four returns before I can be any more stupid and sentimental over things that don't matter. I scoop up my old clothes and follow him out of the dorm.
In another room there is a large firepit, where Four directs us to throw our clothes. Our phones are his to keep until the end of initiation, and we can keep what's in our wallets – though not our IDs for obvious reasons – but not the wallets themselves. I feel lucky that I'm not wearing any jewelry that actually matters to me.
It still hurts to watch the dress burn though. It feels like throwing my whole past life into a fire, which I guess is the point. I touch my hand to my hair, which is half falling out of the style Maureen had carefully pinned it in this morning. I haven't had the chance to look in a mirror, but I doubt I would see anything that would please me.
When all of the old clothes have been burned, Four leads us back to the Pit. Older Dauntless don't bother to hide their stares as we pass them, but they are not stares of malice. A few even stop to wish us luck. The next set of doors Four throws open label the room beyond DINING HALL #1, and it is a truly massive place. Seeing us, the throng of Dauntless inside start to cheer as we're led toward the back of the hall. A section has been cordoned off for us to sit, but more pressing is the banquet spread out for us. Most nights I would guess that we go through the line some ways away, but tonight we are allowed to rush forward and take as much as we like. I hadn't realized how hungry I am until I have the opportunity to feast.
Will and I are some of the last to stack our plates, and by the time we do many of the tables have been filled.
"There!" Will points to a circular table on the edge where only three people sit. Four, Beatrice, and Christina. I start to say no, but Will is already walking over.
"Oh hey!" Christina perks up at the sight of us. "You're the girl who tripped on me."
Will laughs as I hope that the floor will open up and swallow me.
Eventually I recover enough to say, "I have a name."
"And it is?" Christina raises an eyebrow.
"Mimi Malachite. Pleasure." I extend my hand to her as I take a seat.
"This is Tris," says Christina, jabbing her thumb at the former Abnegation girl, who is now poking at her burger with a fork.
"Put this on it," Four slides a bottle of ketchup to her. "You're meant to eat it with your hands."
Tris looks at the bottle curiously. I wonder what kind of person jumps off a building but is put off by a hamburger.
"You've never had a hamburger before?" asks Christina.
"Abnegation normally eat plain food," Will cuts in. "They consider anything with flavor to be 'extravagant' and 'unnecessary'." He makes air quotes with his fingers around those words.
"No wonder you left," says Christina with a laugh.
Tris looks uneasy but doesn't get the chance to say anything. A hush moves like a wave over the room as a young man walks in. His hair is badly dyed a pale blonde, black roots pushing at the edges. Multiple piercings in his face glint in the light.
"Who's that?" whispers Tris.
"Eric–" Four starts but I am faster.
"Eric Coulter, representative of Dauntless."
He cuts his eyes at me for interrupting, but doesn't get the chance to snap at me for it because Eric drops down into the seat beside him. We all just stare at him and he stares back at us for several long, awkward seconds.
"Well," Eric says at last, looking at Four, "Are you going to introduce me?"
"Tris, Christina, Mimi, Will," he says, gesturing lazily to each of us.
He looks intently at each of us. "Have we met before?" His eyes narrow at me.
I find myself sitting up straighter. "No. I mean, I don't think so." Coulter. Why does that name sound so familiar? Maybe my parents talk about him. No, that's not right. I know another Coulter; I just can't place the name right now.
He shrugs and turns his eyes on Tris. "You're that Stiff. Heh. We'll see how long you last."
Tris doesn't respond. No one says anything. Up close I can tell that Eric's hair is greasy, and he has the coldest dark eyes I've ever seen. I've seen those eyes before I think. Not Gwen's; I don't know who though.
"So, Four," Eric finally says, drumming his tattooed fingers against the table, "Max has been asking about you again. He says you're avoiding him."
Four shrugs in response. "I've got nothing to say. I wasn't interested two years ago; I'm not interested now."
Eric's eyebrows raise. "Ah, so he wants to offer you a job."
"Guess so."
"And you're not interested?"
"Still no." Four takes a bite of his burger.
Eric claps him hard on the shoulder. "Let's hope he gets the message then." With that weird interaction over, he leaves us to our meal.
"So are you two, like, friends?" asks Tris when he's out of an earshot.
"We were in the same initiate class," Four replies. "He transferred from Erudite."
"Can't help but notice that's not an answer," I say.
His brow furrows. "I don't know how they do things in Erudite, but you're not entitled to every answer, Ice Queen."
"It's just a 'yes' or 'no'; shouldn't be too hard."
Will chokes on the water he had been drinking.
"Were you a transfer too?" asks Tris.
"Oh great." Four rolls his eyes. "I thought I would only have to deal with the Candor asking questions and sassing me. Now I've got snotty Erudite and a curious Stiff."
"It's probably because you're so warm and approachable," says Tris with a little smile.
He just stares at her for a long moment, not snapping, just staring. She stares back, which is more than I would expect out of a former Abnegation.
"Careful, Tris." He stands to leave. "And, Ice Queen, watch your mouth."
I give him a mocking two finger salute as he walks away. As soon as he's out of an earshot, Will breaks into laughter.
"Okay," says Christina, also laughing. "You two have a serious death wish."
I roll my eyes. "Oh, whatever. He's – what – like eighteen? Nineteen? I'm not scared of him."
"The only power he has is the power we give him," Tris agrees.
Christina turns to Will. "Do you hear these two?"
I can't help laughing. I've dealt with much worse than Four. All of his brooding and frowning is masking something else; I can feel it. It's Eric that unsettles me, the way that his smile never reached his eyes and the way that he seemed to be picking each of us apart.
But if I was going to be scared off by a couple of weird jerks less than five years my senior, I would never have come here.
By the time I drop into my new bed, my body is so heavy that I feel like I will never want to move again. But sleep doesn't come. I'm left staring at Will's bunk above me in the pitch black. I have never slept in a room with other people, and now all of their little sounds keep me awake. Several people are snoring, I think at least one person is crying.
At home I would have decompressed with my journal, or scrolling through my phone, or messing around on my laptop. Now I have nothing but the darkness and everyone else's obnoxious little sounds.
I have too much pride to cry in this room, no matter how homesick I am. I tell myself that this feeling will fade, that I will live freer here than I ever could in Erudite. I am no longer bound to heels and pretty dresses, to being nice to everyone but almost never meaning it, to putting on the show that everyone always expected out of me.
But all of those things are familiar; those things are all I've ever known. I liked making myself beautiful with makeup and well-tailored clothes. The manners may have been stiff at times, but I always knew what to expect from others and I knew what they expected from me. Now everything is different. I don't know anything, and that makes me very afraid.
My thoughts wander back to my test, to Maria. Will I find my answers here? Can I find my answers here? Erudite or Candor would have been the obvious places for research, but somehow I know that not all of what I seek can be found in a library. I need to test what divergent thinking actually means; I need to know if it really is possible for me to walk a totally different path than the one set out for me. She said that I have features of each faction inside of me, that they twist together, that they help and hinder one another at turns.
I will do anything for answers. Even if it means wading to dangerous waters. It's not like things can get any weirder.