AN:
Oni: Hello everyone! Happy 413!
Eridan: Oni wwhat the fuck it's been four years.
Oni: Look, LOOK I lost the notes for this fic when I moved, okay? And I found them again recently so I can continue this now!
Oni: Okay so on top of that I've just been busy and worked on other projects and went through like two jobs but I'm here now and I'm pretty sure Homestuck's had years-long hiati as well BUT I DIGRESS!
Eridan: If you havven't noticed already, wwe're back.
Oni: I worked to finish this chapter in time for today, the 14th anniversary on Homestuck! We're gettin old, folks. Canonically if all the characters were 13 when it launched they'd be friggen 27 now. Things that keep me up at night for sure. Wait, that means-
Eridan: No.
Oni: Darn, I'll get him next time. I will have my Pretty one day…
Harry: We hope you enjoy the chapter, though the author apologizes if there's any mistakes or lower quality. A lots happened since everyone's been, er, homestuck.
Eridan: Hope evveryone is doin wwell and if not, wwe hope evveryone bounces back from wwhatevver shit you'vve got in your livves.
Sirius: Oni does not own Harry Potter nor Homestuck, and she really hasn't being following the latest installments of either so you probably won't see references to anything past the original seven books/eight movies and the original webcomic in question.
Oni: Maybe some of the first Fantastic Beasts tho.
Aradia: 0ur language guide as f0ll0ws!
English
Alternian
Oni: And with that done, ONWARDS!
Alternia Interlude - Aradia
It wasn't a very well-known place, especially not deep within the vast wasteland of which it resided in. Shadow-droppers tended to roam the area around it, but even they dared not go near these ruins. The ruins of a once vast castle.
There were no records in the codex storages of its name, nor that there was a castle in this place at all. As if it suddenly appeared here, and here it stayed until it was eventually worn down to its very foundations. Or perhaps it arrived like this, already reduced to shattered stones. But by looking at the layout, it must have had wondrous towers, a deep labyrinth basement beneath damp dungeons, and a large Great Hall.
She had found it in the summer of her fifth sweep, between seasons of flarping. An adventurous jaunt through the wasteland hunting for bones, searching for slabs, and finding instead this goldmine of wonder. For nights and nights she would return here, to try and decode the language sometimes carved into the stone. The letters were so odd, so ancient - perhaps alien. They appeared to read from left to right instead of Alternian's right to left.
On the seventh day, the ruins were no longer empty.
There was a figure.
Tall, dressed all in black with a cloak darker than the void where the Horrorterrors dwelt. They towered over her so much that she didn't even recall what kind of horns they had, or the symbol that identified them. There was nothing but the dark cloak and a hood that hid the face of the person wearing it.
And yet… the aura coming from them was neither malicious nor off-putting. It was kind. They were not a ghost, and yet as Aradia reached out with her mind to tentatively tap at his essence (which was what she did when conversing or controlling the shades left by the beyond) the ram-horned troll felt something connect. Amusement came from the tall stranger, who stood in the midst of her surprise and the ruins around them.
"Wh0 are y0u?"
The figure turned around, a smile on their face. What she saw beneath the hood made her gasp. Peachy pale skin, soft, without the protection of a chitinous layer. Nothing that she'd ever seen before.
"I am a Seeker."
Alternian. Not perfect, but very close for a being that was definitely not troll. She grinned wide in excitement. At the implications this Seeker brought. Was that their name? Was Seeker their name as well? It fit the pattern, certainly.
"What was this place? Bef0re it became ruins?"
The Seeker's face never faltered, even against her wide, sharp toothed grinning maw. It was refreshing, in a way, to not sense fear for once when she got this excited. There was something calming about them, like they belonged to this old place, in a way untouched by Time itself.
"It was called 'Hogwarts', little Maid of Time. Would you like me to show you how to experience what once was?"
A hand with neither flesh nor muscle was reached out to her. Only bone, like one of her archeological finds, and yet it still moved. Curiously, it had an extra digit at the end. Cautiously she reached out towards destiny.
"What is y0ur name?"
As they both were enveloped in light, she heard the Seeker speak.
"My…
name…
is…"
"Harry, I feel like 'detention' for humans isn't wwhat it is on Alternia."
The scar-headed teen looked to the third year as they sat for lunch, both Luna and Eridan having migrated to the Gryffindor table for the time being. News of a Ravenclaw third year having put the new DADA teacher in a headlock on her first class had already circulated, and now the transfer student had become the center of attention. It seemed to alleviate a bit of the rumors caused by the Daily Prophet, so that was good at least.
"What's detention like on Alternia? Do you lot even have schools over there?" Harry asked, his eyes flickering over to the Head Table where Umbridge was noticeably absent.
Apparently a little thirteen year old had enough strength to cut off her air supply for a good few seconds (not that anyone knew that Eridan was anything other than human) so she was recuperating at the Hospital Wing. Colin Creevey even managed to get a picture of the incident before Eridan was made to let go of the pink toad and had told Harry with sparkling eyes that he would let the fifth year know when it was developed. He would pay good coin to see that again in the wonderous motion of a wizarding photograph.
"You get locked in a lone room wwith no food or wwater for sevveral days. Dependin on the length it could either be more cruel or kinder than cullin." Eridan explained while slathering his toast with fruit jam.
The ghost troll beside him nodded in agreement as she floated between the sea troll and Luna, who didn't seem to mind one bit. At this point Harry was sure that she was going to be a permanent addition to the group - his Potter senses told him so and they haven't been wrong yet. And it wasn't a bad thing per say, since her presence seemed to at least quell Eridan's bloodlust a bit by alleviating his homesickness (he didn't kill Umbridge, which was a miracle from whatever higher power ruled over this plane of existence).
He just wished the ghost troll wouldn't give him that creepy grin all the time whenever she looked at him.
"A'kain ad'tnfn fil' a' ih ou'." Ron helpfully said through his mouthful of sandwich, some particles spewing from his mouth and causing the people sitting around him to scoot away slightly.
"I have n0 idea what y0u just said!" Came Aradia's jovial statement.
A large lump went down the redhead's throat.
"That's the kind of detention Filch wants to give out." Was the cleared-up message, with all of the sounds unblocked of bread, ham, cheese, tomatoes, and lettuce, "He's even still got the manacles in his office. Keeps begging Dumbledore to let him use them."
"Wwell wwhy can't he?" Was the serious question from the maniacal child next to Harry.
"Because chaining people up in iron manacles and hanging them in a dungeon is wrong!" Hermione explained in exasperation.
Both trolls looked at each other, and then at Hermione quizzically. It seems that it wasn't just Eridan who held onto those Alternian values so tightly. Then again, it wasn't like it was adults torturing children as it was children torturing and killing each other.
"But then h0w w0uld y0u get inf0rmati0n fr0m them then?" Came Aradia's question, which was closely followed by, "Howw are ya gonna interrogate someone if they're not bound an hung up?"
The resounding facepalms from the members of the Legacy did more than enough to convey their feelings on the matter. Of course they would be the kind of people to think tying people up and interrogating them was a normal, everyday thing.
"How would you feel if someone put you in manacles and hung you up for questioning?" Ginny asked whilst jabbing at her sausage.
"I w0uld call up s0me gh0sts!" Aradia stated cheerfully with that creepy sharp grin of hers.
"I wwould shimmy out an blast them wwith Ahab's Crosshairs." Was Eridan's succinct response.
Lunch passed relatively peacefully after that, and the Legacy once more scattered to attend their classes. After the first major disappointment that was Defense Against the Dark Arts, Harry hoped the rest of the classes could salvage whatever disappointment the small murderous troll was no doubt harboring (another ocean pun… Eridan was rubbing off on him). If anything, at least Potions would be fun for the troll - he and Snape got along like a house on fire and Harry would have been more worried about it if it weren't for the fact that this somehow meant that Snape was mildly more reasonable to the Legacy as a result.
Then again, Snape had made them explain to him what exactly the little disguised alien had done before class started, and was rubbing his temples and muttering under his breath for the entire time that the class was to brew a Draught of Peace. Snape was so in his mind that he rarely even snapped at them through the brewing process - though he gave them hell after Harry had forgot the hellebore, Ron cooked up an apparent soup of vomit inducing odor, and Neville, poor Neville, had somehow gotten the potion to the consistency of cement.
After potions class, Harry had noted that Snape put Neville's phial away in a separate container. What was he going to do with it?
Ron, Harry, and Neville left the lunch table last after watching the youngest member of their group patter off with Luna and Aradia, who had struck up a conversation (something regarding the Nargles and Wrackspurts that the ghost troll had become interested in to a frightening degree). The twins had slunk off to do some extra work on their business venture (with Ron somehow getting them to contact Percy on how to write up a proper contract to cover their asses). Ginny had to get a head start for her own lesson in potions since the last thing she needed was a Snape with a troll-induced headache breathing down her neck.
And Hermione… had gone to the kitchens to interview the House Elves for SPEW. Yeah, she's still not letting that go. It would only be a matter of time before the badges came out again.
Well… time to predict more disasters for Trelawey, he guessed.
The other classes that Eridan attended were far more interesting and worth his time. Professor McGonagall taught her classes with the same poise and fluidity that she had tutored him over the summer. Which meant that while strict, all of the material was at least practical and comprehensible. A stark contrast to that horrendous croakbeast. Eridan was especially fascinated by the idea of turning one thing into something else, between living and nonliving. This was what he thought of when the term 'magic' came to mind.
He could also say the same about Charms. Professor Flitwick was short but very energetic in teaching his subject. Eridan had coughed out some things in Alternian just to see if the diminutive professor would notice. His fellow classmates probably thought he came down with some kind of sickness.
Flitwick, however, had turned around with thinly veiled alarm. His eyes told him all that the fish troll needed to know - this person did indeed understand what he was saying, or at least comprehended that what was uttered was a language. He was not surprised when he was asked to stay back a bit after class, and was then thrown under a barrage of questions about how he knew Gobbledegook. At this, Eridan pondered how to reply to the professor, considering the fact that Flitwick was his Head of House. If there was any issue, Flitwick would be the first to sniff it out.
"You can say it's my first language." Was his half-truth answer, a grin coming to his way that was indeed more troll than human (or maybe more goblin in this case?).
This seemed to be enough for Flitwick, who obviously wanted to know more but wasn't going to press the new student on his first day of classes. Instead Eridan was asked to see him in his office some time if he wanted to divulge more (perhaps the man was just a bit 'homesick' as the humans said, since he didn't see anyone else here remotely goblin-like).
The small troll in disguise pondered this invitation on the way to dinner, where he saw that Luna was already in deep conversation with Aradia… about the pros and cons of using ghosts to locate crumple-horned snorkacks. He watched as Hermione made a bit of a scowl a few times when she listened in, attacking her poor potatoes with sharp jabs.
"Wwhat happened wwith Herm?" Eridan whispered to Harry as he sniffed out some of the sweeter dinner dishes before finally deciding on some kind of chicken with some kind of golden fruit glaze.
"She went to the kitchens since Defense was cancelled and we had a free period and got scolded by the House elves for insulting them." Harry murmured back, serving himself a good heap of Shepard's pie.
"Howw did she insult them? I thought she wwas tryin to help givve them freedoms from their oppressivve ovverlords." The small troll asked in confusion, taking a bite and furrowing his eyebrows. It wasn't… horrible. At least it was kind of sweet.
Harry leaned over so that Hermoine couldn't overhear him. Not that he needed to, it looked like she was grumbling something to Luna. Probably chastising her for convincing Aradia her 'imaginary creatures' were real.
"Apparently they didn't enjoy her trying to get them wages, which is apparently a blow to their pride as house elves. That and they basically told her that leaving clothes out to free them was very dangerous." The black haired teen began to explain between bites of his dinner, "And a bunch of other stuff that Hermione thought would be giving them equal rights, but they saw as her thinking they're not good enough at their jobs and therefore needed things like 'compensation' and 'days off'. Apparently Dobby—I told you about Dobby right? Okay yeah—Dobby is apparently an exception to the general consensus of house elves and should not be the example of which to judge other members of his species."
"Made a right fit on the way here." Ron murmured from his place on the table, "In my opinion it's a good thing - those badges were awful and the acronym was, too. SPEW! Imagine the things people could say! Sounds like someone puking slugs out. And I would know!"
They all looked to see if Hermione was listening in, but she was currently berating Luna for talking about the crumple-horned snorkacks. Aradia then said something with a smile, causing her to pale and rush over to Eridan.
"Eridan! Do you know what a 'crumple-horned snorkack' is?!" Was her sudden accusation, to which the disguised troll blinked at with his own confusion.
"'Course I do. They're a common lusus to ultramarine blooded trolls. Vvery large. Generally docile but can be vvery territorial. I'vve hunted them before." Eridan told her, confused on why she was asking.
Hermione began to sputter.
"THEY EXIST ON ALTERNIA?!"
Her outburst caused quite a few heads to turn their way, although Hermione shouting something random about whatever she was arguing about wasn't all that uncommon, so they soon returned to mind their own business. The bushy haired girl's face turned pink as the embarrassment washed over her aura, and Eridan awkwardly papped her like he would with Feferi. Luna seemed to be smiling serenely as always, but he could sense a slight hint of smugness from the girl.
After bidding the Gryffindors goodbye, Eridan went to the Ravenclaw tower with Luna and Aradia. And thus ended his rather interesting first school day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The trouble came the next week, when Dolores Umbridge decided that while she wasn't healed up enough from that vicious student attack to teach a class just yet, she was well enough to serve detention to previously mentioned vicious student. So Eridan was accosted on his way to his first herbology lesson by the smug yet slightly frazzled croakbeast of a professor who proclaimed that he would be serving detention after he finished all his classes for the day.
Eridan refused to let this ruin his second week of learning magic at a magic school, so he went into his classes with the same vivacious excitement as he did the day before. He accidentally terrified the Venomous Tentacula due to this, as the plant had a habit of sensing the energies around it to search for chizpurfles, it's main diet, and picked up the predatorial energy of the troll instead. Professor Sprout was very confused when they suddenly became extremely docile. The students, however, were relieved (even if they didn't know why it happened). The plant liked to grab at the ankles of whatever hapless student was around it for amusement.
Potions was fun. Very fun. Unfortunately it seemed like Severus ("Professor Snape. This is a more professional setting than before and it would be best if we aren't seen as very close.") was experiencing far less enjoyment, although that could have been attributed to the fact that the dark robed human was teaching more than Eridan and these wrigglers were less mentally developed in terms of following instructions for their own safety. Eridan had counted two exploded cauldrons, three bubbling over, and one suddenly emitting the faint scent of daffodils before spontaneously combusting. Fascinating to watch, though while his potion had come out as 'acceptable', the young troll knew that if he wasn't distracted by the sudden appearance of the beam of daffodil-scented flames, he wouldn't have missed the moment where he was supposed to add in the porcupine quills.
Shame.
It was only after Ancient Runes that things went well and truly downhill. Having finished his last class in a good mood Eridan was instead treated to the sight of the horrendous pink croakbeast right outside the classroom door. Like some kind of stalker. This made a chill run up the disguised troll's spine in disgust, which he didn't bother to hide from the so-called Defense teacher (who couldn't even defend herself from something much smaller than her!)
"Ah, Mr. Black! Just who I wanted to see!" Umbridge tittered cheerfully as if meeting him here was mere coincidence, speaking again before Eridan even had the chance to open his mouth, "It's time for your detention. I'm afraid dinner is going to have to wait until afterwards."
Wow. She must think she was so dastardly with her wording. Any wriggler could tell that she intended to drag this out until far past the normal human bedtime. He assumed she had some kind of excuse prepared or even just another babysitter for him while the croakbeast ate her own meal. Violet eyes narrowed but remembered Harry's request not to cause trouble. Silently the disguised troll followed the smug woman along to what he assumed was her office…
By the Condescension… the room was decked out in frills and a far lighter shade of pink than the royal Fuchsia but still… this place was a spit in the face to Her Royal Condescension, or any of the royal bloodline. Hell, Eridan was pretty sure even Fef would balk at the place. If not Fef, then definitely Kan. The over abundance of frills and lace were a fashion nightmare, almost as bad as the walking disaster that was the Headmaster. Although, he had to begrudgingly admit that while there was entirely too much of it for his liking, everything from the frills to the tiny plates holding juvenile meowbeasts were arranged… neatly. This croakbeast of a woman was obsessed with her own brand of order. It was almost admirable even if he didn't want to admit it.
"Have a seat, Mr. Black." The toad simpered out, motioning to the chair that was equally covered in cushions and frills.
For some reason the contrast between the fact that there was a cushion on the student chair (where there otherwise wasn't in most other offices) when the teacher in question seemed to disregard her students' well-being the most made Eridan want to laugh out loud at the irony. It was most likely there for the aesthetic, which was very… Alternian of her. Were Umbridge a Troll, he would have pinned her somewhere on the mid-high range. Like Cerulean. She certainly grated on his nerves (simply by opening her mouth for the most part) as much as Serket did.
Without turning his back to her (and therefore somewhat awkwardly), Eridan sat in the proffered pink cushioned chair with trepidation, watching for her reaction behind his large frames. Her eyes kept on flickering smugly between him and the pitch black quill that was placed perfectly along the border of a blank piece of parchment. He could feel… something… emanating from the sharp-tipped feather from a large, unknown squawkbeast.
While the quill itself didn't feel malicious, Umbridge definitely did. The wide, smug grin was still on her face as she waltzed over to where her taller, embroidered chair was. However she didn't sit down, instead looming over Eridan and picking up the quill. She held it delicately for a moment as if it were a dagger and then grabbed the young student's wrist, placing the quill into his hand. He bit back a growl of distaste at being manhandled in such a way by a lowly landwelling little-
"Now, we will be writing lines today." Umbridge forced the tip of the quill to the top of the page. "You shall be writing 'I must obey Miss Umbridge'. I will let you know when you've done enough. Begin."
Her tone had changed from the saccharine simpering to an authoritarian one that sounded far more genuine. With narrowed eyes Eridan stared at her in derision. What in the distant, unfathomable Void were 'lines'? He could feel the irritation from the woman in front of him.
"Perhaps you aren't familiar with discipline." The croakbeast In the pink cardigan intoned with an ugly smile, taking her own glittery pink quill and writing down I must obey Miss Umbridge on a separate piece of parchment and placing it before him. "You are going to write that until I tell you that you're finished, Mr. Black. Quite simple, hm?
Satisfied with herself she sat down, brushed invisible dust off her lap, and stared at Eridan waiting for him to begin. Since she seemed to be in such a rush, the young troll in disguise took his sweet time lifting his quill, going to dip it in the nearby inkpot. Surprisingly, Umbridge stopped him.
"Oh, you will need ink for this quill. Just start writing." She simpered out, causing suspicion to rise inside him. While he assumed there could be quills that could create their own ink, he doubted that was something that would cause Umbridge to be excited - unless she really was that dull of a person.
With one last glance at that toady smile, Eridan began to copy the letters. To his surprise, the color that the words took was the royal violet of his blood. It was then that he felt a prickle at the back of his writing hand as the sentence he just wrote etched itself there. Huh, so this device used the writer's own blood? Fascinating! He wondered what the original use was for this - probably something with Ancient Runes since the medium for the runes helped determine their effectiveness. And with a quill like this, you didn't have to worry about messy blood spills or trying to measure out exact amounts—
A choked intake of breath jerked him from his thoughts. Umbridge was staring at him with the widest eyes he'd ever seen on her. Now Eridan could sense intense waves of fear and disgust radiating off of her. For a second, he was confused as to why until he looked at the back of his hand again, at the violet blood that seeped through the shallow cuts. Human blood was red, wasn't it? His blood was the only thing not disguised by Severus' potion. There was a sense of pride in Eridan, knowing that it was his Royal blood that struck fear into the heart of this croakbeast — Even if it was for a different reason then why it would scare someone on Alternia. For what seemed like hours Eridan kept his eyes locked to Umbridge, as if daring her to do something, anything.
It was only when the woman finally let out a screech akin to a dying Lusus that the small troll in disguise finally leapt from his seat. Faster than any human could react, he uppercut the howling woman in the jaw, knocking her out cold. The round body in the pink cardigan slumped in her seat. With that done Eridan bolted out of the door, the black quill still in his hands. He needed to do damage control before he was ousted on his second week of Hogwarts. Like a lightning bolt he shot off into the corridors, looking for Severus' quarters. What had the older human said again? Green ribbon, black door, nameplate…
Not even knocking, the small figure burst through the door. To his credit, Severus Snape didn't even flinch as this happened. With practiced, precise motions he returned the phial he was grading back to its rack, folding his hands out onto his lap, one single eyebrow raised.
"Wwe havve a problem." Was the first thing out of Eridan's mouth.
"Mr. Ampora," The Potions master responded slowly, "You are supposed to be serving detention with Professor Umbridge, if I recall correctly."
Instead of giving a proper verbal answer at first, Eridan brandished the Quill he plundered. "This wwas my detention an noww I'm in deep wwater. The quill wwrites wwith my blood." He explained once his thoughts collected themselves, "She knowws."
One raised eyebrow became too as careful hands took the quill, looking it over. Momentarily Eridan saw Severus' brows knit together before the man stood from his seat and made his way to a separate rack of phials.
"I've yet to test… these out." Severus murmured, plucking one of the deep red potions out, "They were crafted in case an emergency with your blood color in dispute ever arose… however there may be side effects due to your… alien physiology."
The phial was placed into Eridan's hands, which pinched at it as if it contained a disease. He understood what the potions professor meant and why it had to be made but… blood color was an important part of a troll's identity. To take that away, for even a moment, was akin to asking them to give up on that identity. He'd already let the potion take his fins and his claws and his horns. To go the last step, to become fully human even in such a way… he didn't know if he could bring himself to do that.
"It should last approximately five hours, if my calculations are correct." Was all Severus offered, seeing the trepidation on the young disguised troll's face. "You may not have a choice should Umbridge choose to push her stance — you may not care for our laws but since you are now a student here you will be subject to them whether you want to be or not.
"I… I need to think on this." Eridan managed out from his swirling thoughts, "Thank you." He bobbed his head a bit in respect for one of the few adults he held in decent regard and scuttled out of the office.
He… he needed to ask for advice from someone who understood the weight of their blood, at least on some level.
He needed to speak with his Moirail.
Silently he made his way straight to the Ravenclaw tower, knowing that one meal skipped wasn't going to harm him, speaking only to answer the riddle from the knocker. It wasn't until he reached the safety of his personal dorm room that he relaxed a bit, using the privacy charms that Hermione had taught him to keep things under wraps. No need for any more leaks today. Tapping his glasses, the small troll in disguise booted up Trollian.
- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] -
CA: hey fef
CA: i need your advvice on a troutfully personal dilemma that i havve been sporkfed by fate
CC: Glub glub? 38O
CC: W)(at's been )(appening on -Earth? You've been pretty quiet lately.
CA: i knoww you say ivve been a better person an all that wwith howw sirius an i get along an wwith the other humans i told you about
CA: but theres a situation that requires me to masquerade as a human in order to learn all these sick majicks an shit
CC: O)( yeah! I remember somet)(ing aboat t)(at! It c)(anged your )(air and skin and stuff!
CA: yeah thats the one
CA: the one thin it didnt change wwas my blood color wwhich apparently is noww an issue since theres this horrendous croakbeast desecratin evverythin sacred about the royal hues of wwhich coarse through your vveins
CA: an wwhale i also took that personally im digressin
CC: 38O
CA: the aforementioned croakbeast has a thin against nonhumans an i put her in a headlock for insultin me wwhich is not an allowwed thin on earth along with other forms of vviolence
CA: seriously fef youd lovve it here
CA: anywway she had me wwrite wwith some bizarre quill that takes your blood an noww it looks like ill be ousted as an alien twwo wweeks of arrivvin so so much for bein clandestine about this wwhole thin
CA: but sevv has this potion that can turn my blood color red in case i need to covver my ass on this
CA: an i knoww youre gonna say that its just blood but cod dammit at the end of thins thats wwho i am an i feel like takin this potion is like abandonin my identity wwith my pride and my dignity
CC: …O)( -Eridan.
CC: You've come a long way from back before t)(is w)(ole )(uman t)(ing started. In a good way! It looks like you've been opening up to people and you even take somet)(ing like t)(is into consideration now!
CA: fef ill be honest i havve no idea howw this pertains to the current situation
CC: W)(AL—E, if it were t)(e you before all t)(is you would've just… killed everyone in your way. Or at least tried to?
CC: Even t)(is croakbeast you're talking aboat w)(o I'm assuming isn't actually a croakbeast but a )(uman t)(at looks like a croakbeast isn't culled yet, rig)(t?
CA: wwell i cant just go blastin in hogwwarts fef
CC: And w)(y's t)(at?
CC: It's because you don't want your new )(uman friends to get in trouble as w)(ale, rig)(t? Because t)(e -Eridan I know would )(ave just come up wit)( some )(alf-baked idea and called it a strategic move to justify )(is genocide.
CA: …
CC: Am I wrong?
CC: But -Eridan, just because you've c)(anged your views doesn't make you any less YOU! And just because you don't look like )(ow you normally do means t)(at you've abandoned w)(o you are!
CA: but its all i knoww fef
CA: its somethin I still hold onto because to me it is wwhat makes me me
CA: an im scared of losin that evven for a moment
CA: evven if its for my benefit
CA: fef the hemospectrum may be less of a problem wwith me noww but its still a part a me an all i knoww
CA: im scared of becomin human
CC: W)(ale, you'll still be -Eridan Ampora to everyone t)(at matters. 38)
CC: Is t)(is a problem t)(at you need to solve immediately?
CA: no i knocked her out pretty good wwhen she saww she probably wwont wwake up for a day or so if the last time taught me anythin
CC: T)(en you can t)(ink on it! You )(ave time.
CA: i guess
CC: )(ey —Eridan… If we were bot)( )(uman… Do you t)(ink we would )(ave been fronds still?
CA: …
CA: yeah
CA: i think wwe wwould havve
CA: thanks fef
CA: youre the best moirail a guy could glub for
CC: 38D
CC: Take care -Eridan! I )(ope I can see -Earth wit)( my own eyes soon!
CA: yeah i think i owwe you that much
CA:
CC:
- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] -
Eridan closed the trollian app on his glasses, sitting quietly beside his recupracoon for a moment. Fef was right, he didn't need to decide on what to do immediately. He could think on this, look at every possible pro and con to either choice. A sigh escaped him as he leaned back on the purple container that contained the ooze that calmed the nerves of every troll when they were in its clutches. Perhaps he should be like Makara and start ingesting it to calm his nerves….
Hell no. That's also a line he wouldn't cross. Surreptitiously he eyed the sopor slime once more before deciding he needed some air. Or water. Or something.
There was a lake behind the castle, right?
Meanwhile, the Legacy (all gathered at the dinner table of Gryffindor) was missing their second resident Ravenclaw. Luna was already digging into some beef Wellington with what most people would have assumed was her normal aura of battiness. However, they could tell by the glances she often stole at the doors that she was getting worried about their absent member.
Two absent members, in fact, if one counted the ghost troll as well.
This made the Legacy reasonably uneasy due to the volatile natures that had been observed from both trolls. The uneasiness rose when they realized that both Umbridge and Snape were also unaccounted for. While Harry was relieved that he didn't have to even look at the toad during his meal, the fear of what was happening in Eridan's detention right now almost outweighed it.
"Maybe we should check if Umbridge is still alive…" he heard Ron mutter from beside him.
A ripple of whispers then spread across the student body in the Great Hall as Snape arrived, his face looking more gaunt than it usually did. The dour professor beelined for Dumbledore and whispered something in his ear. The Headmaster lost most of the color on his face. Harry didn't even need to try to guess what it was as voices rang out louder from the Lion Table.
"Did you hear?"
"Umbridge is in the Hospital Wing again."
"Completely unconscious!"
"Bleeding from her nose…"
"Wonder who was the mad bloke who did that to her."
Well, there went the evening. There was only one suspect in his mind and Eridan was still not in the Great Hall. Hermione leaned over to the rest of the Legacy.
"We need to find him. Now." She hissed between her teeth, already getting up from the table. Pulling at their sleeves she indicated that Ron and Harry should follow her while she turned to Fred, George, Luna, and Neville. "Let's split up and meet in the Common Room. Neville and Luna, check the Ravenclaw dormitories. Fred and George, scan the dungeons. Ron, Harry, you're with me. Let's at least find a troll."
Harry glanced mournfully at his half-eaten treacle tart as they went off to find Eridan.
The search for the missing trolls yielded poor results. One by one, each area inside the castle was scoured for any sign of Eridan or Aradia, but they couldn't find head nor horn of either of them. A couple of ghosts had helpfully informed them that the 'Demon Ghost of Hogwarts' wasn't a resident as far as they could tell — instead she came and went as she pleased, seemingly phasing in and out of reality.
"She's probably back in her home on Alternia." Luna helpfully explained to the rest of the Legacy dreamily when they grouped up again, squinting at the corners with her spectrespecs, "Aradia and I were talking about her astral projection ability. It has a time limit and with all the time she spent with us it's probably run out by now."
Well, that solved one mystery. Now where the hell was Eridan? Harry rechecked his pocket again. Nope, his invisibility cloak was still here. That idea was out. With curfew around the corner and two of their number being prefects with duties to perform, they had no choice but to abandon their search for the time being.
Naturally this meant that Harry restarted his search in the middle of the night, when everyone was in bed and snoring. Luna had told them previously that Ravenclaws were usually left to their own devices so a headcount was never done (lucky bastards) which meant he could still be out and about without anyone noticing. In the pandemonium of the second Umbridge incident, everyone was a flurry with theories, quite a few which involved Eridan since he was the first offender as well.
Surprisingly no one else seemed to be looking for the bloke, but that might have to do with the fact that they were trying to figure out how long Umbridge would be out for this time. The students rejoiced.
Putting his cloak back on he snuck out of the dormitories (well, less snuck out than quietly pattering about as Prefect Ronald Weasley watched out for anyone else) and made his way to the last place he could think the troll could be.
He was 'sea-dwelling', wasn't he?
To his great shock, when Harry reached the Lake he came to find that he was not the only one who thought of this. In the moonlight he could make out the tiny silhouette of Professor Flitwick talking to a form floating in the water. As he got nearer he realized that they seemed to be speaking some form of Alternian. The green eyed teen could vaguely make out the now-familiar syllables that made up the troll language coming from the both of them. For a second this puzzled him before he remembered that Goblins spoke a form of Alternian. He wondered what they were talking about so intently, although he could somewhat deduce by tone that whatever it was, Flitwick was consoling him. In the moonlight he could make out the candy corn colored horn on the troll that he'd seen nearly the entire summer-
"Five points from Gryffindor for sneaking around at night, Mr. Potter."
The sudden raise in volume, the switch to English, and of course the message that was uttered was enough to wrench Harry from his thoughts. His head snapped up as he looked at the duo again. Flitwick was gazing in his vague direction with a sharpness he rarely saw on the diminutive professor, and Eridan… was staring dead at him. In the dark his violet and orange eyes seemed to glow, pupils large and round. It was a tad unsettling,
"How did you know it was me?" Was all the teen could stammer out, his cheeks feeling hot with embarrassment.
"Mr. Potter you are the only one in the school with an invisibility cloak and much like your father never realized that we can still hear things like footsteps and breathing." came the professor's dry remark, although there was a hint of fondness in them.
"Sorry, sir." Harry muttered sheepishly, lowering the hood of the cloak, "I was looking for, er…" he turned to Eridan, who seemed more at ease in the water. His fins and gills, at least, were being put to use here, "Uh, Professor Dumbledore's asked me to be his, er, mentor of sorts and I got worried after he didn't show for dinner."
Looks like the cat (or troll) was out of the bag for Flitwick, although Harry would consider him at least trustworthy in these times — and Eridan was getting along with him swimmingly. And if his Potter sense was right, he probably also made friends with the denizens of the Lake as well. And since he skipped dinner, ate some of them as well.
He got a nod in return as Flitwick turned back to Eridan, "Well then, Mr. Potter, Mr. Ampora, we should return and retire for tonight. We can finish resolving these things in the morning. Both of you see me after classes for detention."
"But Professor-" Harry began to argue, but was stopped by Flitwick raising his hand.
"Better detention with me to discuss things than with Umbridge when she awakes. I have been notified of her… methods." A sidelong glance to Eridan again. The troll sunk a little more in the water, his earfins drooping. What on earth happened?
A splash and Eridan was out of the lake, his soaking-wet clothes changed back to his Hogwarts uniform. Wow, that Sylladex really comes in handy. Those along with more worrisome thoughts plagued Harry as the three of them went back into the castle in silence, trying to make heads or tails of what was going on.
"So let's get this straight." Ron ran a hand through his red hair, grumbling from the lack of sleep that comes with being a prefect, trying out for Keeper on the nights he was free, and from the increasing absurdity of the situation. "Umbridge is using an illegal—it's illegal, yeah?" Both Harry and Eridan nodded from their place on the floor of Eridan's expanded trunk (they had decided to hold the meeting in there to avoid prying eyes and ears). "And illegal quill that uses the writer's blood to write with to make students write lines with them…"
"She did some other students before me." the currently undisguised troll added with a nod, "Got that from Professor Flitwick this afternoon."
"…and because you've got blood that's not red, she freaked out and you bashed her face in?" Ron continued, tilting his head as he tried to think on something, "Isn't that the opposite of you trolls with the whole blood color thing?"
"Pretty much, yeah." Eridan muttered with a bit of a shrug.
Harry could tell that he still wasn't keen on taking the potion. From the conversation they had in Flitwick's office and from what he recalled the troll had told them about the hemospectrum, he could understand why.
"Don't forget that Professor Snape has got a potion to turn your blood red for a while." Hermione piped up from behind a book of law and rules she was reading (most likely for the blood quills and how she could pin Umbridge with using it on children), "We've also got that in our favor, along with the support of the other professors."
"So what's the deal with the blood color potion again? She's already seen that it was violet." Ginny piped up, her legs criss-crossed as she stretched, "Sounds like that chance has already flown the coop."
"Put the blame on us." George offered, having snuck in some sweets from the kitchens.
"Yeah! We've been experimenting with our new prank line like the Skivving Snackboxes-" Fred added excitedly, always happy to talk shop about their forming business.
"Which may need to be used soon…" Ron muttered, getting a smack up the head by Hermione. "Oi!"
"But a snack or potion that changes blood color sounds like a wicked idea." George finished up the point and his tart, "If that toad tries to pull the same trick, we can always say the first time was after Eridan was testing one of our goods before going to detention. Then the next time he is, his blood would be back to 'normal'."
"But if he's the only one with a different blood that she pulled, she's going to start giving detentions left and right to find another." Neville pondered with worry etched on his face, "And if she doesn't find one, then a bunch of students are going to get carved."
"So then we'll need an actual product that changes blood color." Fred proclaimed with a wide grin, rubbing his chin in thought, "Maybe candies that have different colors depending on what color they'll make your blood?"
"Combined with the Nosebleed Nougats this will be a huge hit!" George cackled out as he thought about the possibilities.
Immediately the twins turned to a rather uncomfortable Eridan. Their eyes gleamed at the fact that they had a live sample of a humanoid with another blood color right in front of them. A couple chuckles were covered up at the look on the troll's face — a mixture of shock and indignation before he sighed, rubbing his temples.
"If it means I don't havve to take the vvial myself I don't care if you wwanna copy my blood color."
"I thought you coveted your blood because of its rarity and thus its position on the hemospectrum." Luna finally spoke up from reading the Quibbler, though it was still upside down while wearing those spectrespecs of hers. Harry briefly wondered what she was seeing.
"If it means I get to keep my owwn color, I'll alloww it." Eridan sighed out, "I knoww wwhen to pick my battles."
"Right! We'll get to work then." Fred exclaimed excitedly, rubbing his hands together eagerly.
"We'll write up a contract for putting you as a 'tester' and backdate it to before the detention." George added, writing down something on a notepad that he had procured from… somewhere, "We also might need to talk to Snape about how he made the potion and what to look out for."
"Snape teaming up with the Twins sounds like a nightmare I once had." Ron mumbled again, still rubbing at his head from before.
With a plan in place, the Legacy got to work. Fred and George worked with Snape on 'remedial potions lessons' for a few days to knock out most of the issues Snape was having with the potion before. Due to the fact that Eridan was still adamant about not changing his own blood color, the project switched to temporarily changing their own blood color to the Ampora violet.
In the time it took for Umbridge to wake up from Eridan's hit (which was around two days), the time it took for her to mentally recover to the point where she could leave the Hospital Wing (which was another three days), and the time it took for her to resume classes instead of 'grading' the classes of the others teachers and making snide remarks to both teacher and student alike (another week), the Twins managed to create a shimmering violet potion that changed the blood color of the drinker for twenty minutes. One of their other testers (a third year who wanted to get some extra pocket money) also gained the side effect of gills and earfins, almost a cross between Eridan's traits and the effect of gillyweed (which had been used in the potion). Unfortunately since the tester couldn't breath above water due to the gillyweed style gills, they had to keep going.
Now, they couldn't work on this the entire time. After all, most of the Legacy were in their O.W.L.s year and therefore had twice the amount of homework than they did the last year. The majority of days were spent just trying to keep up with it all. Even Hermione was sweating it (majorly about the exams that were at the end of the year). As for the Twins, it was their N.E.W.T year, so they were under even more duress. Thankfully Snape gave them extra credit for their 'remedial' potions and could at times be heard muttering about them and their antics.
Umbridge was taking her sweet time getting ready to resume classes. He assumed it was because of the incident that happened on her first lesson ever, so she was planning on being extra cautious. In the meantime it was Snape (who was just as strict teaching it as he was in Potions) that had stepped up to substitute along with Flitwick (he focused on dueling techniques) and even at times McGonagall and Dumbledore. It was clear, though, that Umbridge was being pressured to return to her official station as the Defense teacher by the rest of the staff or risk being fired for not performing her job description.
Keeper tryouts came and went, and Ron got the spot to the group's astonishment and elation. The party they held was enormous, with Gryffindor supplying butterbeer to their peers all through the night.
Eridan was continuing his studies as if nothing had ever happened, quickly rising to the top of his class in most subjects. He was becoming well known amongst the third years for being the only student getting top grades in History of Magic, and it wasn't uncommon now to see him lecturing animatedly to a gathered group of year-mates on the goblin wars. With some of the material being on the O. and N.E. , quite a few upper years would join in on the discussion as well.
As news poured in from the Daily Prophet, it was made known to the Legacy that the Ministry was now targeting Order members. One of their number had already been framed up and shipped to Azkaban, and with the way Umbridge was situated in the school, they only had so much time before she tried to regain her power again.
Two weeks flew by just like that, and the time finally rolled around when Umbridge was 'well enough' to teach her first class to the Griffindor-Slytherin fifth years. It coincided with the completion of the prototype Troll Taffy, which currently was only available in the violet Ampora Berry. Said prototype was sitting in wait in Harry's pocket as the toad herself waltzed into class.
It had been a unified decision that Harry was going to be the one to use the taffy since he was the one Umbridge had it out for. The chances of him getting detention were essentially 100% and pretty much everyone knew it. So the plan was that since Eridan had already served detention with Flitwick while Umbridge was out, to dangle a new victim in front of her as bait. Harry had quite a few thoughts on being bait, but one of them was that this was better than the castle getting blown up by Ahab's Crosshairs.
…And with the way this class was going so far, Harry was now able to understand what made Eridan go feral. If he thought Umbridge's personality was bad from the trial, Sirius' 'execution', what she was now proved the situation to be far, far worse than they assumed with her speech at the beginning of the year. Especially with what he'd heard from Eridan and Flitwick on the detentions she's been serving to the rest of that class for speaking up.
Also what were they, seven? Harry hadn't been this insulted of his age since primary school. And he was actually seven then. This woman had no excuse. What was even more ridiculous was when the truth of what she was teaching came to light. Or better put what wasn't going to be taught in Dolores Umbridge's Delightful Ministry-Approved Slaughterhouse Class.
He was unbelievably bored. The book they were told to open was drier than Binns' lectures, and he found himself daydreaming of flying in the Quidditch pitch or what it would be like to FLARP on Alternia with battles and stakes and treasure. The green eyed teen hadn't left the first page, still trying to absorb the words to no avail.
It was also the first time Harry had noticed where Hermione refused to open a textbook. Hell was going to freeze over at this rate. She had her hand up for at least a good half hour before the toad magnanimously decided to acknowledge her existence. Which seems to be something of a metaphor for the Ministry as well, Harry thought to himself. Watching them, it was if he was witnessing a duel about to take place, with swords and trumpets blaring in the background. Or a face-off against an ugly monster.
"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" Umbridge simpered out with a tight smile. The proverbial claws were unsheathed, not yet fully bared.
Harry imagined that Umbridge's claws were probably painted a gaudy pink color with little head charms of Fudge in his ugly lime green bowler hat.
"Not about the chapter, no." A return show of a sword, a display that a duel was to be called.
Hermione would look pretty cool with a basket hilt rapier, Harry thought to himself.
"Well, we're reading just now. If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class." Umbridge simpered, the claws looming over as a threat to behave.
Like vultures, they circled each other with hedging words, waiting for engagement.
"I've got a query about your course aims." Another flash of the blade, shining metal of sharp wit and steel.
At last, the sword is drawn, and battle is called.
"I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully." Umbridge snipped, claws slashing down on Hermione's pride as a bookworm.
Each word was punctuated by condescension. Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard.
"There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells." Came Hermione's own jab, a riposte that got to her point.
This verbal spar was hilarious to Harry as he thought about the fact that the last time Hermione had the guts to question a teacher was Divination.
"Using defensive spells?" Professor Umbridge repeated with a little laugh, her claws going snicker-snack against Hermione's sharpened argument. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"
But it became even more so when more of the Gryffindor side started jumping in on the action.
"We're not going to use magic?" Ron fired out. A revolver, Harry imagined, Chudley Cannon Orange.
But Harry, having already seen what happened from Eridan, decided to stay quiet for the time being. Take in information. As he did so, two things became very apparent to him.
"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class." Umbridge dodged the bullet weakly with her words, still standing strong.
One, the Slytherins also had various looks of upset from the information, but most appeared to be smirking at the Gryffindors making a spectacle.
"Surely the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells?" Hermione's jab soared through, her point sharp and clear.
Harry began to wonder if they were able to get extra Defense training from Snape instead. He was certainly qualified to teach it if the Ministry battle was anything to go by - not that the Minister even accepted that Voldemort was back yet. And he had been the one to substitute most of the time when the toad had been shirking her duties.
"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?" Umbridge parried expertly, her sickening sweet smile widening as she claimed the upper hand at Hermione's falter, "Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the 'whole point' of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new program of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way-"
Which meant the other houses would be at a significant disadvantage come time for the OWLs. The fact that the Ministry would go so far to cripple their youth for such a petty fight really showed just how inept the current magical governing body was.
"What use is that?" A surprise attack from Seamus! Explosive, caught unawares, like the smoulders of a grenade, "If we're going to be attacked it won't be in a-"
Some Slytherins were side-eying him in confusion. Of course, Harry was known to have an explosive temper, but deciding to play a bit more Slytherin on top of dealing with Eridan for half of the summer really changed his own plan of attack.
"Hand, Mr. Finnigan!" Came the teetering recovery, but it was clear she was caught unbalanced.
Two, Umbridge was also giving him glances every so often.
"If we're going to be attacked, it won't be risk-free!" Dean joined in, his statement like an axe shrieking through the air.
Harry was rather confused as to why (other than the obvious point that she hated his guts, but she was in the middle of a fight with most of the other Gryffindors at the moment) until he realized that all her questions returned back to the same thing.
"I repeat," dodged Umbridge, circling around with her sharpened claws, "do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"
The irony of that statement with the verbal battle being raged was almost crushing.
"Isn't there a practical bit in our Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL?" Pavarti snapped out, like a whip from the side. A new angle, bedazzled with a glittering butterfly charm, "Aren't we supposed to show that we can actually do the countercurses and things?"
Briefly, Harry wondered if all those times Eridan talked about his FLARPing sessions was changing the way he saw even these mundane things. Or if the other test taffies he tried were having other effects on him than they originally thought…
"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions." Umbridge sidestepped with a dismissive tone, as if she had prepared for such things.
Art in the battle, a dangerous dance.
"Without ever practicing them before?" Parvati lashed out. The whip sought out a way to get the toad off her feet, "Are you telling us that the first time we'll get to do the spells will be during our exam?"
Wwhether it be wwith swwords or tongues.
"I repeat, as long as you have studied the theory hard enough-" Umbridge wobbled, as if surprised by the barrage from so many angles.
Both can be wwon, or lost.
"And what good's theory going to be in the real world?" Neville cut in. A large greatsword wielded by two hands. Made by vine and wood. More poisonous and dangerous than assumed at first glance.
Both wwill havve casualties.
"This is school, Mr. Longbottom, not the real world." Umbridge tried to block, her tone soft and dangerous now.
Harry's eyes narrowed from behind the glare of his glasses.
"So we're not supposed to be prepared for what's waiting out there?" A flash of steel, his feet as firm as his resolve.
His hands were folded in front of him as he watched as Neville alone stood off in front of Umbridge in this duel.
"There is nothing waiting out there, Mr. Longbottom." Came the low hiss from the toad before the valiant knight.
Her words were slow. Deliberate. As if lying in wait for someone.
"Oh yeah?"
But not for Neville.
"Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?" inquired Professor Umbridge in a horribly honeyed voice, her tone implying that she had the upper hand.
The answer was obviously Voldemort. But that wouldn't matter since he was the current boogeyman who didn't exist in their eyes. She was trying to bait Harry. Trying to make him crack and then display him as a maniac. Parade him as a madman. Just like they had been doing this whole time.
"Hmm, let's think…" piped up Harry in a mock thoughtful voice, watching a grimly satisfied expression bloom on her face as he finally spoke up after all this time, standing up from his desk.
But the thing about parrots is…
He thought back to the blood quill he was shown, to the taffy in his pocket that the twins gave him and the mission he was to accomplish.
"I imagine it would be you, Professor Umbridge." A final strike, a curved blade of finality, combined with a grin reminiscent of a troll with violet blood.
And the class turned to pandemonium once more.
AN:
Oni: And that's all I have for now, folks!
Eridan: Please Followw, Favvorite, an Revvieww if you'vve enjoyed it.
Oni: And I shall see you all next time, my Pretties!