AN:
Oni: Happy Halloween! Look! Another chapter that didn't take 4 years to write!
Eridan: That's progress, at least...
Harry: Sooo... when does Eridan kill Umbridge?
Oni: Bruh.
Oni: Anyways, once more I wish to remind you that I don't own Harry Potter or Homestuck, and I'm not really taking the canon rom much else apart from the og books, movies, the odd Pottermore, and the original webcomic. Even then, I've put in some other headcanons.
Oni: Also! This fic is on AO3 and Wattpad, and on AO3 I've learned how to format the pesterlogs with the colors and the fonts and things! If you want to read it with that in mind, you can hop over there and check it out!
Aradia: As a reminder, tr0llspeak and g0blinspeak is den0ted by B0lded text!
Oni: Aaaaaaand ONWARDS!
Alternia Interlude - Kanaya
Kanaya Maryam wasn't exactly sure what she was looking at.
The images that Eridan sent her of some of his exploits on Earth had been fascinating. A society that didn't mind delving into color without the constraints of the hemospectrum had been eye-opening, to say the least. The beasts with vibrant plumages, the clothing, even the hair and skin of these humans varied so much from the black and greys of Alternia.
Even if some of the color and patterning choices were… less than palatable (mainly from the human known as Albus Dumbledore, whose choice of color and patterning were both bold and frankly horrifying), for the most part the visuals sent to her had been stunning. Hogwarts castle itself was elegant in its design, and the uniform robes could be tweaked to something tasteful. At least some humans knew what they were doing with all the color and choices they were blessed with, with the option of letting it all shine and sparkle in their not-quite-as-deadly sun.
She gained some inspiration from the views of the forest and the lake, the sun rising over that horizon, from the pictures of the 'Phoenix' and the pixies and the fire crabs. She had sent back pictures of outfits she had made with them in mind. They turned out far better than she originally hoped, and it allowed her to focus on something more than just Vriska and the original Austispice she had with her and Eridan. But they were still friends and that did count for something, right?
The jadeblood was unsure why Eridan requested a small vial of her blood, the violetblood having promised to explain it to her 'if it worked'. That and the spool of rare sea-thread helped smooth things over, for sure. What the humans wanted with her blood was beyond her, but she trusted the seadweller enough not to sell her out to the one-blood-colored (but many-hair-and-skin-pigmented) aliens of Earth.
So she had gone to his Hive to drop the small vial of her deep green blood off, having taken the transportalizer there so as to not ruin her current outfit — and going to a broken warship in the middle of the ocean will do that without fail. She had warned him of her arrival so that she wouldn't get zapped by whatever security measures he had taken and likely outsourced to Equius and Sollux. His Hive looked muchly the same as it had the last time she had been there. Although the wand pile had been cleared away, as had the piles of gold. Maybe that was why it felt… emptier?
Perhaps it was the lack of clutter that she was sure Eridan coincided with the flaunting of wealth, or the knowledge that the Hive's occupant was lightyears away from this place, but there was an almost hollow feeling in this place. A sense of… sadness? No… bittersweetness. Like a fruit not yet ripe and a fruit that was overripe. Both mourning and awaiting a return. Such a strange feeling.
Kanaya darted over to the respiteblock where she was instructed to leave the vial, noticing the lack of a recupracoon and husktop. He really did clean up around here, didn't he? Whilst trying to ignore the stare from the leering statues he still had around the place (especially the one in here in the shape of Dualscar), she set the vial on the ornate desk. Gog, did everything he own reek of opulence? He definitely had a taste for the not-so-subtle gothic designs. Might be why he got on so well learning his 'magic' in a castle.
Highbloods, seriously.
The looming, almost yawning silence behind the breaks and groans of the ship against the constant thunderstorms outside made the ambience needlessly spooky. And it wasn't because she was getting spooked. Absolutely not the case. Who did you think she was?
Footsteps across the hallway nearly made her jump.
Was Eridan back?
"I Swear If You're Attempting To Frighten Me With Such Juvenile Methods, Know That It Won't Work On Me."
No response to that. Kanaya may or may not have huffed in irritation. But alas, her curiosity got the better of her as she followed the sound of the footsteps. Through the winding halls — and the occasional crack of lightning behind closed and heavy curtains — she was still able to hear the footsteps of herself and her mysterious pursuant.
The path ended with the vast library that she, Eridan, Vriska, Tavros, Aradia, and Terezi would periodically comb through for inspiration for their FLARP costumes.
Thinking back on it, it was quite funny that for all his talk about 'lowbloods' and 'killing landdwellers' (which like most things went in one ear and out the other — there were certain things you didn't take him seriously on), Eridan was more than happy to invite those same people into his abode and play host. He even let them use his beloved library. Unlike Kanaya, who was generally there to help with design input and the one that offered to make said costumes, some of the others just enjoyed adding to their character's backstory and spending the day hanging out there (though usually far from the wand pile… how did he think that was a remotely comfortable idea?).
Her thoughts were interrupted as soon as she saw the tall figure casually sliding a book into one of the lower shelves. The white clothing was odd enough, but the most jarring part was the obvious candy-corn colored lighting-bolt shaped horns that belonged to only one troll that she knew.
The figure turned to face her.
- caligulasAquarium [CA] at 17:00 opened memo on board Croakbeastkiller Army -
CA: alright evveryone this is wwhat wwe call a bulletin board an wwe use it for memos an group chats an shit like that
CA: to make sure wwe havve evveryone please post 'present' an your name so i knoww wwho needs help gettin trollian set up
intellectualOrthodontics [IO] at 17:02 responded to memo.
IO: Present! This is Hermione. You can remember the initials since my name is HermIOne and Io is one of the moons of Jupiter based on a classical myth about her getting turned into a cow which is a bit like Transfiguration which is a subject that I really enjoy. I would figure that the 'intellectual' portion is self-evident as I'm currently at the top of the class and 'orthodontics' was used since my parents are dentists and the scientific term for dentistry is 'orthodontic'.
hedwigsProtectorate [HP] at 17:03 responded to memo.
HP: present
HP: I figured the initials would help
gallivantingFarceur [GF] at 17:10 responded to memo.
GF: Gred is present, sir!
fieryGagster [FG] at 17:10 responded to memo.
FG: Forge is present, sir!
HP: one of you got help from Hermione and it shows
HP: or else I get the feeling a thesaurus was used
GF: Ye of little faith Harrykins
FG: Shun the nonbeliever!
IO: Fred asked me for help with his username so I took out a thesaurus. So technically you were correct on both parts. He wanted something similar to pranking as well as a union of his and George's initials so I gave him a list to choose from.
checkmateKing [CK] at 17:15 responded to memo.
CK: I THINK I GOT IT WORKING
CK: PRESENT RON
CA: ron do me a favvor an make your text not that shade of red because you type like kar an i wwill get confused
CA: he types in grey but its still gonna fuck wwith me
CK: CHUDLEY CANNONS ORANGE IT IS
GF: Hey if Ron's already called dibs on a quirk can we make our own as well?
CA: i mean i dont see wwhy not
CA: youre probably the only humans on here so might as wwell right
FG: Wicked!
GF: Wicked!
IO: Just don't make it too painful to read! Eridan showed me some of his friends' quirks. Some of them were a nightmare to try and figure out what they were writing even with the translator function. So don't go too crazy with it or else nobody will understand it.
lunarCorrespondancing [LC] at 17:20 responded to memo.
LC: (Luna) is (Present).
LC: (The Nargles) kept (Me) from getting to (This Memo).
GF: Bollocks, we've been beat to the quirk race!
IO: That's… acceptable.
FG: Hey Eridan can you show us some of your troll friends' quirks?
GF: We need examples.
IO: I for one think it's a bit much to add things to your words and really it's Alternian culture and we shouldn't be stealing it.
CA: herm im gonna say this in the nicest wway possible but nobody givves a shit about other species makin their owwn quirks its just a thin wwe do i wwouldnt call it cultural
CA: quirks are like a style of speakin and wwritin that a troll devvelops ovver time an no one really remembers the original reason wwhy or howw
CA: its like a determinin part of our identity that wwe use to help discern wwhos wwho among peers
IO: Eridan that is practically the definition of cultural!
CA: wwell fuck then
CA: ill just say then as a troll i givve less than zero fucks about wwhether or not humans wwant to try out quirks
CA: hell it evven might help you blend in better
CA: since you might end up talkin to other trolls besides me
CA: you already met ara so ill add her to the memo as wwell
apocalypseArisan [AA] at 18:00 responded to memo.
AA: 0h w0w! s0 many new friends 0n tr0llian n0w!
LC: (Hello) (Aradia)!
AA: :0
CA: hey ara as a felloww troll are the humans allowwed to use quirks
AA: i d0nt see why n0t! Luna's is s0 cute!
CA: see herm wwhat i tell ya no one givves a shit go crazy
FG: *~Hey guys do you think
GF: our new quirk is cool? ~*
IO: Oh, I see! Luna's quirk is about grouping important articles in a sentence and yours are dependent on who's first and who's second. Quite clever and not painful to read like… Makari?
CA: makara
HP: that looks like it's going to get real old real fast.
CK: LOOKS LIKE TOO MUCH WORK TO ME
FG: *~Boo!
GF: Boo!~*
scarletNimbus [SN] at 18:09 responded to memo.
SN: sorry for the wait! couldn't seem to get the hang of it at first but the hands-free option really saved me!
SN: we can just carry these around as like an earring or a watch or glasses?
SN: uh, Ginny present.
CA: yeah i use my glasses
AA: i use a hat!
HP: gotta say this is really handy. we can do so much with this!
IO: It is more useful than an owl or a telephone!
SN: in dangerous times like this the more communication the better
CK: MAYBE WE CAN USE IT TO KEEP TABS ON THE ORDER AS WELL
HP: oh yeah! Eridan didn't you give Sirius and Remus some of these?
CA: i gavve it to sirius an remus an mcgonagall an dumbledore an sevverus an also one to flitwwick
CK: YOU GAVE IT TO SNAPE?!
FG: *~Don't tell us
GF: he can see this? ~*
CA: none a them havve set up their accounts yet an i havve a separate memo for them
SN: phew!
HP: nearly had a heart attack there…
HP: anyways guys I'm about to go to detention with the toad
HP: Eridan is there a video function to record what I assume is going to be a breach in proper Professor conduct?
CA: yeah ill head ovver an showw you howw thats supposed to wwork
HP: wicked
LC: (Good luck) (Harry)!
IO: Be careful, Harry!
CK: DONT DIE
AA: is s0me0ne g0ing t0 die? h0w exciting!
FG: *~We shall
GF: remember your sacrifice!~*
SN: do you want lilies at the funeral?
HP: hahaha
HP: white lilies would be nice
HP: maybe the weird sisters can play too
mimbulusMimbletonia [MM] at 19:45 responded to memo.
MM: Hey guys! I got in!
MM: Present, Neville.
MM: ….anyone there?
MM: Hello?
The news of both Eridan's and Harry's detentions spread like wildfire. Of the use of the blood quills that the professors were desperately trying to find a way to remove (but apparently Umbridge had gotten 'official permission' to 'use them for unruly children'), and of her reaction to the rather distinct violet hue of the two's resulting ink. Through the Hogwarts grapevine — that line that heard everything and doled it out to the inhabitants of the castle like drugs at a party — everyone from the wide-eyed firsties to the homework-encumbered seventh-years knew about the strange new candy that turned your blood a different color.
Soon inquiries on the Troll Taffy's (new name pending since they didn't want to have to explain why 'troll' was in the name) official release flooded the Weasley Twins' proverbial mailbox. This caused them to accost Eridan, who was still mentally preparing himself for his second detention (this time using the potion to make his blood red… he still wasn't happy about it) for samples of other blood colors. The seadwelling troll that was mildly obsessed with his own blood color had reached out to his fellow troll friends (of which he was in contact with one of each in the hemospectrum… handy) and managed to cajole them to do so with some kind of compensation.
They managed to get a brown, a yellow, an olive green, a jade green, a teal, a cerulean, an indigo, a very dark purple, and a fuchsia vial that caused Eridan to choke on his pancakes when he received it from his 'moirail' (which was kind of like a best friend? He tried explaining it to them and it was weird that trolls limited themselves to one or tried to 'facilitate' them into various other relationships or 'quadrants'). All in all a very good haul that at least gave them a wide variety for customers to choose from.
Aradia had cheerfully offered hers up, although it seemed her maroon closely resembled the normal human shade, along with another of Eridan's friend, Karkat ("wwith 'k's, not 'c's"), who had a brighter red than usual and seemed closed-off at the idea of revealing his blood color.
Eridan explained to the Twins that Karkat's blood color was a mutation and would get him killed on Alternia if it were discovered by other parties. Apparently this caused the Twins to owl their mother. Harry had an inkling of what might have been said.
Nevertheless, 'carcinoGeneticist' joined their friend group chat on Trollian — which explained why Eridan wanted Ron to change his font color, especially since Karkat's language opened up a new avenue for the redhead to swear loads more than he did in person — along with 'cuttlefishCuller' (whose quirk gave Hermione a headache). The chat got livelier with them around, at least finally meeting the 'other side' of Eridan's friend group. Harry did see a passing resemblance of Karkat and Ron, and a more stretched comparison of Hermione and Feferi.
This opened up a new avenue for the Legacy, having only conversed with two other trolls (from opposite sides of the Hemospectrum, as they've learned) beforehand. It gave a broader outlook onto what Alternia was like, and unlike Eridan and Aradia, Karkat and Feferi weren't as happy with the way things were run. In fact, they expressed their desire to explore Earth's culture (Feferi because she was more human-level when it came to violence and Karkat because he didn't want to be culled for existing) though the humans requested they wait until the 'Umbridge Issue' was resolved.
Speaking of Umbridge, the toad was getting ready to do… something.
Her snide remarks had become more pointed, unable to do much else other than force the hapless students into following her useless Defense program. But she smiled at Harry (and Eridan, who smiled back and caused her to frown) in a way that screamed "I'm up to something and you can't do anything about it". She also gave them more detentions. Just for, you know, breathing in her general direction.
Harry was able to talk to Sirius (snufflingPadfoot) over Trollian to check in on how he was doing in relative house arrest. It felt like a lifesaver, especially since they were certain Umbridge was monitoring incoming and outgoing letters and perhaps even the Floo.
Apparently Remus (professorMoony) had 'important Order business' trying to bring in some werewolves into their cause (or at least, out of Voldemort's hands) and so wasn't around much. Most of the other members of the Order never stayed long, and one of their number had gone missing.
Which meant Sirius was stuck in his childhood home with Witherwings (which Eridan preferred as a name than 'Buckbeak'. Really, Buck-beak?) and Kreacher, who was nicer to Sirius since the revelation of what happened to Regulus. Despite the company and the use of Trollian, Harry could tell his godfather was getting a bit of cabin fever. He was a bit nervous that the Grimm animagus was going to do something rash. Like show up as Snuffles in Hogsmeade.
So to make sure he stayed home, Harry ended up recording a bunch of things from his glasses. Never before in his life was he so grateful to have them, since the Husktop upgrades with the 'psionic keyboard' had the hands-free option. Sometimes he'd record his Quidditch games and practices, other times it was his classes or Umbridge's detentions. He'd share it with Sirius and Remus, and of course the 'Croakbeastkiller Army'.
Eridan had apparently been recording and sharing things with his troll friends since he got to Earth months ago. Including the dementor-killing incident and when he put the Toad in a chokehold. Feferi had been very proud that that was all Eridan had done to the woman despite her unpleasantness, as before he'd met Sirius it was highly likely Umbridge would've been blasted to smithereens. Which checked out.
Having people to talk to on Trollian and now with the added videos had hopefully made sure Sirius stayed, well, homestuck for the time being. And with that a potential danger was mitigated.
Harry's scar had also started to hurt again. Consulting with Eridan made it obvious that Voldemort was pissed off somewhere in the world and the Parasite connected to Harry was projecting those emotions into his head — and might even be reading his thoughts through the connection if the incident in the Department of Mysteries was any indication.
A very unpleasant thought.
To mitigate this, Eridan had begun teaching Harry tricks on how to shield his mind from any sorts of mind-reading and mind-control. When Harry asked if this was something all trolls knew, he shook his head and began muttering about 'spider trolls'. When he'd asked Aradia about what Eridan meant by that, her creepy smile became wider. It was only after poking and prodding Feferi and Karkat did he learn about Vriska Serket and what her special ability was, and that she was essentially something like Eridan's ex-hate-girlfriend. But if anyone would know how to shield your mind from someone trying to control or read it, it would be him.
….Right?
Things finally came to a head when Ron received a letter from Percy.
Dear Ron,
I have only just heard (from no less a person than the Minister
of Magic himself, who has it from your new teacher, Professor Umbridge) that you have become a Hogwarts prefect.
Ron had been the first to read it, of course. And he'd read it, and re-read it with more scrutiny. And then he passed it to Hermione, who then passed it to Harry, who then posted a picture of it on the group memo from his glasses.
…which is why I am sending this at night rather than by the usual morning post…
It was more of a veiled warning than a letter to not cross Umbridge, though with the type of dryness and boring Ministry lingo that one generally expected of the Weasley middle child. But it was… insightful.
I feel bound to tell you that Dumbledore may not be in charge at Hogwarts much longer… I shall say no more here, but if you look at the Daily Prophet tomorrow you will get a good idea of the way the wind is blowing.
Despite the obvious and obligatory Ministry jabs toward him and Dumbledore, Percy had come through with the information the Legacy needed. And the forewarning of what Umbridge was planning.
I am very sorry to hear that so far Professor Umbridge is encountering very little cooperation from staff as she strives to make those necessary changes within Hogwarts that the Ministry so ardently desires (although she should find this easier from next week — again, see the Prophet tomorrow!). I shall say only this — a student who shows himself willing to help Professor Umbridge now may be very well placed for Head Boyship in a couple of years!
Somehow, she planned to gain full power in Hogwarts, which was bad news indeed. They would have to nip whatever this was in the bud before the Ministry completely crippled them.
It pains me to criticize our parents, but I am afraid I can no longer live under their roof while they remain mixed up with the dangerous crowd around Dumbledore (if you are writing to Mother at any point, you might tell her that a certain Sturgis Podmore, who is a great friend of Dumbledore's, has recently been sent to Azkaban for trespass at the Ministry. Perhaps that will open their eyes to the kind of petty criminals with whom they are currently rubbing shoulders). I count myself very lucky to have escaped the stigma of association with such people — the Minister really could not be more gracious to me…
Please think over what I have said most carefully, particularly the bit about Harry Potter, and congratulations again on becoming prefect.
Your brother,
Percy
"Hold on, why am I the violent and unbalanced one?!" Harry squawked as he read the entire letter again, breaking the tense silence with the resounding laughter. "Compared to Eridan, I'm quite tame, thank you very much!"
The Trollian chat pinged with spats of 'LOL' and 'Haha' and 'ROFLMAO' and a singular 'hey!' from the resident troll in Hogwarts. This 'livestream' thing was rather fun to do. People made a living off of this on Alternia?
scarletNimbus [SN] at 22:02 responded to memo.
SN: Well, knowing Percy, he's repressed any violence with the need to follow the rules.
GF: *~Precious Percy panders to the polite parts of Parliament.
MM: Say that five times fast…
FG: I can't even tell if he's trying to warn us or just trying to rag on Harry and Dumbledore. ~*
LC: Very likely (Both)!
LC: (The Wrackspurts) have been quite (Noisy) lately. Perhaps because of (Umbridge's) (Plot).
CA: if his vviolent tendencies are repressed i kinda wwanna just showw him the joys of murder
CA: ill showw him howw to use a gun
CC: —-ERIDAN NO!
CA: eridan yes
CA: eridan alwways yes
GF: *~Do it, I dare you!"
FG: Double dog dare you!~*
CG: THE FUCK DOES THE NUMBER OF BARKBEASTS HAVE TO DO WITH AMPORA TEACHING A HUMAN TO COMMIT ATROCITIES OF WAR?
CK: IT'S A SAYING ON EARTH AND I'M ON TEAM 'CORRUPT PERCY'!
SN: Corrupt Percy!
IO: Guys! This isn't a joke! What if Eridan turns Percy into someone like him? Not that I think Percy is capable of such acts of violence…
IO: Ah! No offense to either Percy or Eridan.
MM: Not gonna lie, kinda wanna see a feral Percy.
HP: Guys guys guys. They both have the same kind of glasses. It's DESTINY.
LC: (The Glasses) don't (Lie).
AA: cant g0 against destiny! :0
IO: All of you are making this worse!
MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM
DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED FIRST-EVER "HIGH INQUISITOR"
It was a grim morning when the papers flew in. For all the students that understood (or were explained the intricate jargon by someone like Hermione), the Daily Prophet heralded dark times ahead for Hogwarts and her inhabitants. Umbridge had gained, essentially, control of the school. Eridan's lips were pressed into a thin line as they regarded each other across the Great Hall, and Harry felt unnerved seeing the one who was usually on top of everything thinking hard on their next move. That and, according to the memo pinging in his glasses, he was upset that someone like Umbridge got a cool title like 'High Inquisitor'.
The only saving grace about this was that, apparently, both Eridan and Harry had traumatized her into relinquishing her position as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, and decided to fully commit to her new role — which meant they won in that one small way. No one knew who was going to be their next DADA teacher, but anything (yes, even Voldemort at this point) would be better than that toad. Harry wondered if anyone from the Order would step up to do it, or Snape, since everyone knew he wanted the position even with its curse.
In the meantime, it looked like they were once again utilizing the round-roster of professors (even Snape was getting tired of it, since this was done on top of his regular work. McGonagall and Flitwick didn't seem too keen either, and Dumbledore… still wouldn't look him in the eyes).
"Oh, I can't wait to see McGonagall inspected!" Ron cackled out beside Harry, "Umbridge won't know what's hit her."
The thought of a McGonagall vs Umbridge smackdown almost made Harry wish Umbridge would do her inspections during their class. Or Flitwick's. Or Binns'. How do you even inspect a ghost? Would she take points off for being 'un-alive'? Knowing Umbridge, though, Binns might be her favorite class since students barely learn anything from his droning.
Umbridge ended up not being in Binns' class, nor was she in double Potions where Harry rapidly hid his 'D' for his moonstone essay. Snape had already started grading everything at OWLs level, and Harry felt like he was going to fail at this rate. He needed to get his head in the game if he was going to be an Auror (though, that's if he lived long enough to graduate, with Voldemort frolicking around with his posse of mask-wearing bastards). Feeling a bit down and drained from the lesson, Harry hauled himself to lunch while Hermione chattered about her very impressive 'A' and seemed to be reassuring herself that not getting a perfect score wasn't going to be the end of the world.
"I mean, all right, I didn't expect the top grade, not if he's marking to OWL standard, but a pass is quite encouraging at this stage, wouldn't you say?" She continued on, and Harry made a noncommittal noise in his throat. "Of course, a lot can happen between now and the exam, we've got plenty of time to improve, but the grades we're getting now are a sort of baseline, aren't they? Something we can build on…"
They sat down together at the Gryffindor table, Harry keeping his eye out for where Eridan was (he wasn't trying to find an out from this conversation, who told you that?). The troll had wandered to the Gryffindor table and moved to sit in his spot next to Harry, but was unfortunately interested in what Hermione was saying and was silently listening to the conversation.
"Obviously, I'd have been thrilled if I'd gotten an O-"
"Hermione," Ron finally snapped up sharply, "if you want to know what grades we got, ask."
"I don't — I didn't mean — well, if you want to tell me —"
"I got a P," Ron cut in, ladling soup into his bowl. "Happy?"
"Well, that's nothing to be ashamed of," butted Fred, who had just arrived at the table with George and Lee Jordan and was sitting down on the other side of the table, facing them. "Nothing wrong with a good healthy P."
"But," squeaked Hermione, "doesn't P stand for…"
"'Poor,' yeah," finished Lee Jordan, who noncommittally started nabbing some sandwiches, "Still, better than D, isn't it? 'Dreadful'?"
Harry choked on his roll, causing Eridan to thump at his back. The conversation around them continued without pause.
"So top grade's O for 'Outstanding,'" Hermione recounted, "and then there's A-"
"No, E," George corrected her, "E for 'Exceeds Expectations.' And I've always thought Fred and I should've got E in everything, because we exceeded expectations just by turning up for the exams."
They all laughed except Hermione, who plowed on, "So after E, it's A for 'Acceptable,' and that's the last pass grade, isn't it?"
"Yep," said Fred, dunking an entire roll in his soup, transferring it to his mouth, and swallowing it whole. "Then you get P for 'Poor'" Ron raised both his arms in mock celebration. "and D for 'Dreadful.'"
"And then T," George reminded him.
"T?" asked Hermione, looking appalled. "Even lower than a D? What on earth does that stand for?"
"'Troll.'" answered George promptly, before the words could catch up with his brain.
They went dead silent. Slowly, almost fearfully, they turned to the individual on Harry's right. Even while looking like a thirteen year old human, something about him was just… terrifying. Was… was this the 'aura' the trolls talked about?
"I beg your fuckin pardon?" asked Eridan coolly. They could practically feel the temperature drop around him as the actual troll's gaze turned murderous.
"Ooookay new topic!" Fred said loudly, looking at his twin in panic as they desperately tried to ignore the ticking bomb beside Harry they accidentally lit, "You lot had an inspected lesson yet?"
"No." Hermione supplied immediately as Harry began to 'pap' Eridan on the back to get him to calm down. Now was not the time to re-explain mountain trolls to the very insulted, very intelligent and violent alien troll. "Have you?"
"Just now, before lunch," said George, more relaxed now with the imminent threat taken care of. "Charms."
"What was it like?" Harry and Hermione asked together. Fred shrugged.
"Not that bad. Umbridge just lurked in the corner making notes on a clipboard. You know what Flitwick's like, he treated her like a guest, didn't seem to bother him at all. She didn't say much. Asked Alicia a couple of questions about what the classes are normally like, Alicia told her they were really good, that was it."
"I can't see old Flitwick getting marked down," said George, "he usually gets everyone through their exams all right."
"I'm sure she'll find a way." Harry muttered bitterly. "She doesn't like anything outside of a perfect Pureblood after all."
"If she gets rid of Flitwwick I might actually kill her." Eridan added casually, though soft enough to where only Harry could probably hear it.
"I'm starting to think you should." Harry mumbled back, earning a pleased, vicious grin that did not suit the human guise the troll wore.
As it turned out, Harry's patience with the toad would be tested right after lunch in Divination. Even as the woman's presence silenced the class, he had to remind himself that landing a detention was bad, even if he wanted to see her reaction again to the Troll Taffy. He had Quidditch to think of, after all, and he didn't want to get screamed at by Angelina again.
Eridan's words about war rang in his head as he watched Umbridge offhandedly belittle Trelawney in front of her class. Play the long game, the troll had emphasized, as angry as I get, sometimes you just havve to wwait thins out. Lettin the enemy rile you up means they'll knoww that's a wweak point.
Trelawney was proving this point by being obviously rattled by Umbridge's presence, and Harry used this time to do some of the breathing exercises Eridan was teaching him for the mind-blocking thing. One day, he repeated to himself, one day I will go feral all up on this bitch. But not today.
…Wow, he was really getting the hang of Troll lingo.
He stuck it out, though, and managed to survive without making any snide comments (even though there were perfect opportunities to) throughout the first inspection he'd been privy to.
The next one was far more entertaining. Umbridge decided to inspect Professor McGonagall, which in any student's opinion was the equivalent of dancing naked in the Forbidden Forest. She was bound to get eaten. Per request, Harry recorded the entire legendary ordeal on his glasses (watching the commentary may prove dangerous while it was happening, so he vowed to take a look once the class was over). There was something so very satisfying about seeing Umbridge get put in her place by the Transfiguration teacher multiple times through the course of an hour. Harry could only silently cheer her on with the rest of the class.
Curiouser was Umbridge's arrival at Care of Magical Creatures class, which unfortunately lacked Hagrid. Harry wondered when the half-giant was to return, but Professor Grubbly-Plank was nice enough as it was. In fact, he was quite sure that the only thing Umbridge was trying to do was insult Hagrid as the previous professor (and as a 'half-breed' and loyal to Dumbledore, he'd imagine) as well as try to rile Harry himself up. Even as Malfoy and his bookends guffawed at the retelling of the incidents in the prior two years to Umbridge, Harry did end up giving it some thought.
He liked Hagrid, he really did, but not having to worry about Blast-Ended Skrewts was a relief. It felt like a betrayal just thinking along those lines, so he shook his head of those thoughts and practiced his breathing exercises again, doing his best to not land himself needlessly in detention with the toad.
From what he heard, Eridan had been doing the same, though mostly because he hated making his blood any shade other than his own. He supposed he understood in some weird way. It was an integral part of his identity — like Harry's green eyes. Harry liked his eyes, especially after finding out he had his mother's eyes. It was his only connection to her. He'd feel a bit lost if they became any other color.
Despite being on their best behavior, both Harry and Eridan landed themselves in detention because even looking at High Inquisitor wrong was a sin punishable by hand-carving. Harry's small respite was the Troll Taffy, which he'd tested jade green next. The sleek emerald hue matched his eyes.
Curiously enough, the pain of getting cut was getting less and less with each detention. At first he thought that it was because of the repetition, but that wouldn't make sense. After Eridan had joked about him getting a troll's pain tolerance, Harry had Fred and George check in with the other Troll Taffy testers. The results really should've been expected, since a troll's blood color determined their abilities and even lifespan. From a light psionic ability to being slightly stronger or getting along better with animals, there was some effect while their blood was a certain color. While the taffy was active, people gained low levels of troll ability.
Harry wondered what the effects of prolonged exposure would be. Eridan… well, Eridan dove in to see this research first-hand after a mild freak-out that involved some words in Alternian that made a passing Flitwick take points off of Ravenclaw for. Now Harry understood why Eridan was dubious about changing blood color if it was this intrinsic to troll physiology. He idly wondered if the human blood potion already did something to the little troll, though. Snape did warn there might be side effects, even if there wasn't anything obvious. But after finding that out, Eridan refused to take the red potion at all, citing that Umbridge had seen enough red in him for her lifetime.
Which really, really sounded like a threat.
AN:
Oni: And that's all for now, folks!
Eridan: This wwas more of a filler chapter before wwe get into the next part.
Harry: Hope to get that one out at some point before another year's up...
Percy: If you've enjoyed the story thus far, please consider following, favouriting, and reviewing.
Eridan: This is wwho you wwant me to turn feral?
Harry:...Oni I think you have a type.
Oni: AAAAAND I will see you next time, My Pretties!