Letter to Yue,
I've been putting off writing for a while since last week I didn't have any problem falling asleep. Zuko's sister, Azula, and her friends were tracking us throughout the Earth Kingdom. You never met them- trust me, that's a good thing- but they were restless. It's normally just Zuko we have to worry about, but I don't think we've seen him at all since we left the North Pole until this week. We kind of teamed up with him for a little bit which was weird. I don't know what's with that guy. At least he doesn't seem concerned with catching Aang for now.
What's weirder was what I thought when we saw him by his uncle, after the guy got struck by lightning. That's the only time I've seen him care about someone. It's the only time I've seen him and thought I understood him. It's strange huh? Maybe I'm just projecting. I don't know for sure what he was thinking, do I? Katara's a lot better at this than me. She usually tries to emphasize with others and connect, but with Zuko? Even she wouldn't cross that line. Come to think of it, Aang does that too, remember when he wanted to save Zuko? I know I have to have our best interests as a team in mind and sometimes that means walking away from people who might need you, but honestly, I want to be more like them. Maybe once we stop the Fire Lord I can change that about myself.
I'll work on it,
Sokka
He stood up and streched. Finally feeling tired, he walked back to where the Gaang had set up camp for the night. When he got back, he saw Toph, Katara, and --where's Aang??
He set his things on top of his sleeping bag, and looked around to see if Aang was anywhere nearby. He was just about to wake Toph and Katara up when he spotted Aang lying in the grass a little ways off; Appa had just hidden him from view.
Sokka walked over to him, "Aang?"
"Hey Sokka." He didn't move his gaze away from the sky. Sokka noticed there was something off about his voice. He sounded older somehow.
As if reading his mind, Aang said, "You've been different."
"Different how?"
"I guess I'm not really sure. You look tired most days, but you just keep going like it's nothing. And I wonder, if maybe you're doing what I'm doing."
"What do you mean?" As soon as the words left his mouth it clicked.
How had he not thought of that before? Aang had lost everyone overnight. If he was struggling this much with Yue, what was Aang going through? Sokka had only known him as he was now trying to stop the war. He never really knew what he was like before. Sokka only knew him the first day they'd met. He caught a glimpse into the kid he used to be. A kid. He still is a kid.
Sokka lay down next to him. "Nevermind what I said. You don't have to answer that."
It was probably twenty minutes, but it felt like hours. They lay there staring up at the stars. The moon. Just thinking. There were some things Sokka needed to say, and if anyone could understand, it's Aang.
Sokka let out a sigh, "I don't know if I really compare. You're probably going through a lot worse than I am."
"Grief?"
"I guess you could say that. The thing is, I don't think it's just grief. There's something else, like a pit in my stomach. Whenever we're hanging out, going on adventures, whenever I'm... happy." Those were the words he'd been trying to get out. The ones that brought him shame everytime he tried to write about it.
To his surprise, Aang opened up too, "Guilt. That I'm still here and they're not. The last they knew was a world decending into chaos. They'll never get to see the world after the war."
Sokka sat up. That was it. Exactly it.
Aang's voice was quieter now, starting to sound like himself again, but his words didn't carry any less weight. "I'm scared. At first it didn't feel real- like it was too awful to be- but then the next day came, and the day after that. Now I don't expect to wake up in my home; their abscense is normal. The world's completely changed, and I don't feel any different."
He closed his eyes mid-speech, but by then he'd already started crying.
What would Katara do?
Sokka pulled the boy up from the grass and leaned him against his own arm. They didn't need to say anything more.
When Aang calmed down, he flopped himself back on the grass and began watching the sky again. Sokka stood up to leave, "You going to bed anytime soon?"
Aang didn't budge, "No, I don't think so." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Not for a little while longer."
Sokka went back to his sleeping bag. The finished letter had been left face up on his sleeping bag. Whether Katara and Toph had been asleep this whole time, he wouldn't know. Tomorrow he'd wake up, and it'd be as though nothing had changed.
Does anything ever really change?