When the Cradle Falls

Chapter Seven: Cara

There she was. Alice Mercer. Allie. Dean's lips parted as he drunk in every inch of her appearance.

Her hair was longer, but appeared duller. She seemed slightly heavier, but in a good way, like she'd filled out, now with an hourglass shape, made apparent by the skirt cinched at her waist, and the billowy shirt hanging low. The silver necklace was still at place around her neck, much similar to the one her mother wore. The fact she was barefoot made her a million times more ethereal. However, her skin looked chalky and if it wasn't for the spark in her eyes, Dean would've thought she was sick. Was that why she got sent away? Because she was sick?

Dean was suddenly very afraid.

"Allie?"

A light sigh. "Don't call me that," the playful voice responded.

He stood woodenly and moved towards her slowly, worried she would scurry away like a frightened deer.

Seeing this, she said, "Dean, it's okay. I'm not going to break." She moved quickly and hugged him tightly. Dean returned the embrace with an equal vigor.

They pulled away, but Dean's hands lingered on her arms, eyes on her face. "Allie."

She laughed and looked down bashfully. Dean could tell she was much more confident and comfortable in her own skin, not as awkward, more aware of how she moved and looked. But it wasn't like she ever had anything to be shy about. Maybe she'd finally seen that. For the first time, he thought their being apart was good for her.

"Wow," she cooed lowly, a hand to his cheek. "Look at you, Dean. Wait—shouldn't you be in school?"

He smiled proudly. "Got my GED last month. Couldn't stand that place anymore."

She responded with a wide smile. "Good for you, Dean! I always knew you were smart. And you're all grown up, I see." Only could a comment on dropping out of high school be a compliment from her.

"I could say the same for you." He chuckled, putting his hands on her waist, pulling her closer, not really thinking about what he was doing.

She evaded him gracefully and removed his hands from her, still holding them in her tiny ones. "It's good to see you, Dean. It really is." She sobered up and stared at him intently. "Ever since I left Broken Bow, I've been thinking of getting in contact with you, somehow." She looked to the side. "I guess you answered my prayers."

A tad unsure, he nodded. "I thought you never wanted to see me again."

She shrugged, eventually sitting on an armchair across the coffee table. "At the time I thought it was best; I'll admit I was a wreck." Her smile faltered for a moment. "But, even when I moved here with Aunt Jan, I was still really lonely. Even though I've been happier than ever, Dean, I guess something was missing." Dean couldn't ever remember a time when Allie was this open to talking.

"Why did you leave?" He finally asked. Why did you leave me?

"I had my reasons." With a sneaky, nervous smile, Alice stood. "I'll be right back."

She came back a few minutes later alone, suddenly intrigued with the weather. "It's been a lovely, winter, actually. Which I'm grateful for. I mean, look at me; my legs are so pale, but I'm thankful I've been able to enjoy wearing a skirt for the past few days." Oh, Dean definitely noticed her legs.

"It's that why you left? The weather?" He doubted it.

She laughed easily. "Just making small talk, Dean." She gotten better at that, as well. She wasn't so tense anymore.

Suddenly serious, Alice moved closer to him. "This is why I left. I always wondered how you would react, not sure whether or not to tell you. But you're here now so that must mean something...Aunt Jan?"

Janet appeared from around the corner, a hesitant smile on her face.

But Janet wasn't the one Dean was looking at.

A little, brown haired baby in a lavender dress rested on Jan's hip. The thing had dark brown eyes and looked incredibly tiny and fragile.

"Alice?" Dean asked, unsure, disillusioned to what was going on.

"Dean, this is why I left." Alice went over and took the baby from Janet. She approached him slowly and stood near his side, the baby angled away from him.

"Is it…?"

"She's mine, yes," Alice said. She could tell he would need it spelled out to him. "And she's also yours, Dean."

He didn't pass out, but Dean momentarily lost control of his limbs and flopped back onto the couch, the plastic making a popping sound when he hit it. Glassy-eyed, he stared up at the wooden rafters and wondered what he was doing, wishing a ghost would appear because then, he would know what to do and how to handle it. Hunter-mode just didn't cut it in a situation like this. "A...are you sure it's mine?" He stuttered.

Incensed, Alice looked ready to smack him for a moment. "There not even a minute possibility she could be someone else's," she countered. Dean vaguely wondered if maybe Alice was waiting for him, or if he had pushed her to do something she wasn't ready to do-it wasn't something he'd ever thought of that as.

He struggled to comprehend the situation as Alice explained how she found out she was pregnant and wanted to hide it from Dean.

"I know how you were," she said. "I figured you would've left either way. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'll understand if you want to get up and leave right now and never come back. I won't hold that against you." She never did and never would.

Dean swallowed thickly and stared at Alice in utter amazement. She was a woman now, even though it had been less than a year and a half since he'd last seen her in that blue dress, as she walked out of his life-he thought. Now, here she stood, a mother holding her child. His daughter.

"What's her name?"

Shocked, Alice asked him to repeat himself.

"Her name. What is it?"

Allie's mouth spread open wide. "Cara Clementine. It's Cara."

"Cara." It was like learning a new word in a different language.

"Yes. That's right." Alice moved closer with the tiny baby. Cara was silent, staring intensely at Dean. She looked confused and puzzled, but not like she was about to cry.

He stared intently at her face, not really sure what he was expecting the baby to do, obviously not say "hello" or anything like that. But her unwavering stare was enough to spook him out of the house.

Without a word, Dean spun sharply on his heel and slammed the maroon door behind him. The squeaky gate squealed in protest as his side slapped against it, doing his best to put as much distance between himself and that house as he could. Dean found himself breathing heavy against the stolen car, hands vibrating in his pockets.

It almost made him panic-not only the little person in there, but also the fact he was reacting this way. Never had Dean frozen up on a hunt, or even felt shaky nerves. He'd always been a natural, even since the first ghost he shot.

But this was something different. His first instinct was to reach for his gun, but Jan had his gun locked in the front hall closet, and two: a freaking baby.

It was indefinite amount of time that he was there, the segment broken up by Alice appearing in his line of vision, sans baby. She crouched down in front of him. "Dean?" Her hand wavered near his face, but she didn't touch him.

However, Dean reached out and took her hand, needing some sort of anchor to reality, as screwed up as that might be. "Alice."

"I'm here, Dean," Alice assured. She put her other hand on his face.

Taking several deep breaths and squeezing Alice's hand, Dean eventually cleared his head enough to stand up properly, helping Alice up from a crouch.

"So…" Dean began, not really sure what to say, what he could say.

"Yeah?" Alice chuckled, turning her head to the side. "I know. It's a lot."

"But how?"

She shrugged. "We were stupid. More than once."

Running a hand through his hair, Dean scoffed. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he responded, remembering.

Alice crossed her arms. "But it's like I didn't even think about that when I was with you. Like I was under a spell. I felt like that for weeks after you left." Alice from a year and a half ago never would have admitted that. This new Alice was more confident, comfortable.

"You seem well," Dean offered.

She shrugged. "Took me awhile to get here."

"It must've been a shock."

Alice nodded. "Almost didn't believe it. Felt like I was trapped in a bad dream. I would say I wasn't myself, but I was. But, I'm here now with a daughter I love."

Dean didn't say anything.

"I know it was a mistake, but Dean, Cara was honestly the best thing that ever happened to me." She watched his reaction. "So, I can't do anything but thank you."

She was thanking him for ruining her life? Dean couldn't help but wonder why.

Alice continued. "I'm so glad you're here, Dean, and I'm sure this wasn't at all what you were expecting to find. Maybe you were expecting closure, or something else, but I am not that girl that left you. You can't have only me like you used to.

"So, like I said, I'll understand if you want to walk away. I won't stop you, and just know that you're always gonna have a part of my heart, whether or not I want you to."

Dropping the hand from his hair, Dean despaired about what to say. "Alice, it's just that...I'm a kid. I can't have a kid."

"Trust me Dean, I know. I was still a kid too." He couldn't tell if she was pleading with him or simply agreeing.

With a deep breath, Dean made a decision.

He straightened up and nodded once at Alice.

She raised her eyebrows, expectantly.

"Okay, Alice, I'll come inside."

Back inside, Jan sat with Cara on her lap. The older woman scrutinized Dean, looking to Alice for confirmation. Eventually, Jan relinquished Cara to her mother, and the older woman excused herself from the room.

Finally alone, Dean glanced at Alice, trying very hard to stay composed. "Can I hold her?" Not trusting himself to stay standing, Dean took a seat on the plastic-covered couch.

Alice giggled within herself and happily accepted. She sat beside Dean and expertly but lovingly maneuvered the baby so Cara's head rested against the place where Dean's arm met his shoulder. The baby's eyes were on her mother, who watched the father, who watched his child.

A father.

If Dean wanted it.

But suddenly, Cara's eyes shifted to Dean, and there was no if to be had.

It happened as cliched as Dean had heard.

With a breath of realization, Dean was aware he had to become a man, whether or not he was ready or wanted to be. He had to be for this little baby that was so half him and Allie. He understood how something so pure could come from her, but from himself...the fact that Cara was half Dean and had manifested itself into a tiny real human with eyes and little hands and a rabbit-quick beating heart. He didn't know this baby, but she was part of him. He didn't necessarily unconditionally love her in that moment, but he could feel the great potential for it-he still felt a little hesitant, because unconditionally loving this child meant something huge. However, he could say that he did love this little thing to some extent. After all, he'd only known of her existence for a few moments, and she seemed like she would evaporate like a mirage. He just couldn't help but marvel how something he always enjoyed for fun could end up in something like Cara. He didn't mean that in a bad way, but he often forgot making love had the functionality of procreation.

And he always thought in a situation like this, he'd cut and run.

Almost had, actually.

Maybe he didn't know himself as well as he thought.

"She knows her daddy's here," Alice suddenly said, snapping Dean back to reality.

The comment made Dean want to look around for a minute, almost forgetting Alice was speaking about him.

"This is crazy," Dean whispered.

Alice burst out laughing. "You're preaching to the choir, Dean. Everyday, I still wake up and wonder what the hell I think I'm doing, but then, I walk over to her crib and fall in love with her again each day. She reminds me why."

"Yeah…" Dean cleared his throat and started again. "Yeah, I guess I could see that."

Alice smiled at him, and that's how it went.

It might have sounded like a bad joke, Dean nestled on the couch with his newly discovered daughter and the woman he thought he would never see again.

Then maybe it was the greatest cosmic joke ever pulled, but it was all right.

Because Dean was the one who got the last laugh.

Hope you enjoyed! Another very pivotal chapter! Please review and let me know what you think! I want to thank everyone who has followed/favorited/reviewed. It really means a lot!