"Alright?"
Emma greets Regina cautiously as the darker woman pads into the kitchen massaging her temples.
"I'm afraid I'm not entirely sure how to answer that, dear."
The brunette sighs.
"That's not like you..."
"No, well, this isn't a situation I've ever faced before."
"You and me both."
The blonde agrees, bringing a piece of buttered toast to her mouth before lowering it back down again without taking a bite.
"There's chocolate spread in the back of the pantry. I hid it behind the cannellini beans to stop Henry from using half a pot in one sitting."
Regina smiles without much humour, moving to fetch the pot herself, but Emma shakes her head and confides
"It's fine. I'm not hungry."
"No? Then it appears we're both a little out of sorts."
"Really!? I wonder why?!"
The younger woman laughs, but the sound is more hysterical than it is giddy and she stops abruptly and looks down at her plate.
"I didn't know if you wanted me to make you anything."
She pulls a face, and Regina chuckles lightly in response.
"I'd rather not fight off food poisoning as well as the bits of myself I left upstairs, dear."
"Mm."
Emma nods without looking up, and the brunette frowns as she misinterprets her companion's discomfort.
"I was joking... Well, sort of. I haven't forgotten the seafood pasta incident. Don't tell me you're upset with me because I'd rather not die, dear."
"I'd rather you didn't also, and no, it's not that, it's just... This is all just going to be awkward for a little while, I think."
The younger woman shrugs with a smile that far better resembles a grimace; recalling the Queen's flirtatious demands while forcing her to cook dinner for her perverse amusement.
"How do you-... Oh."
Regina swallows, curious as to how in the hell the blonde's cooking abilities might have come up in the time the Sheriff has spent with the Queen, but guessing from the younger woman's expression that she might be best kept in the dark.
"It's going to take some getting used to."
She agrees quietly, noting that the small mirror hung beside the utility room has been covered with one of her shirts pulled out of the laundry hamper. Looking back down at Emma, she opens her mouth to say something on the matter but decides instead to tread more familiar territory.
"I see that your lack of appetite hasn't extended to keeping you from helping yourself to my wine..."
She muses silkily, nodding towards the bottle on the counter and the younger woman's mug that she now suspects is filled with merlot.
"I didn't know if you'd want any of that either."
Emma replies simply to explain why she hasn't poured the Mayor a glass, and Regina shakes her head as she points to the clock on the wall and exclaims
"It's not even ten in the morning!"
"Like time means anything anymore."
The blonde growls, brushing the darker woman's reasoning aside before asking outright
"Do you want a glass?"
"I-... No. Thank you. I need a clear head."
Regina sighs, falling into the chair opposite the blonde's and helping herself to a sip from Emma's mug before sliding it back across the table with her hand held up to signify she's cutting herself off.
She tries not to pay too much attention to the slight blush that creeps across the younger woman's cheeks in response to her actions.
"... So?"
Emma asks finally, waiting to see what has come of the brunette's conversation with the Queen. She wants to ask a hell of a lot more, but opts to take a sip of wine instead and remain respectfully silent.
"So... I don't know. Or rather, I do know, and I don't know what to do about it."
Regina replies, looking up to meet cool green as the Sheriff waits for her to elaborate.
"I can't trust her, no matter what circumstances I put in place in an attempt to govern her actions. So long as she exists freely outside of my being, I can't trust her... And, now, after talking to you back in Daniel's cottage, I realise that I can't kill her. Even if I was certain it would work this time."
The brunette sighs fretfully, leaning back in her chair and gesturing that she wishes for input if only to keep herself from breaking down.
"... I told you, Regina, I'd never think it my right to tell you what to do in this instance, I can only offer you my opinion. If you want to kill her, I... I-"
"-I didn't mean that I felt that I must please you with my decision, Miss Swan. I simply feel as though you might be right- shocking, I know- in your belief that I might have made a mistake... When we spoke in the cottage, you expressed that you felt you might miss the two of us being on even footing when it comes to struggling with inner-demons and darkness. I argued then, and I will argue now, that we've never been even in that respect, but I understand where you're coming from, dear. I do... You said you believe that I'm the one person that can handle you, and perhaps my response seemed a little dismissive, which wasn't my intention... All of my thoughts as to your darkness and wicked intent- or lack of it- aside, I don't believe I should be brushing off your claim so indifferently when I feel entirely the same way about you... I've never met anyone I truly felt could handle me before. Not all of me; the worst parts, and the parts I'm trying to let flourish... But it seems that you can, Saviour. Not in any way I would ever have wished for you to, nor feel comfortable with... But, you've truly seen every side of me now, and you're still here. Still drinking my wine and making a mess of the place, so..."
Regina shrugs, pointing to the shrouded mirror with an amused smirk to add some lightness to her heavy words, and Emma nods to acknowledge that she understands what the Mayor means- that she understands how much it means- before offering the covered glass a disgruntled glance.
"Better safe than sorry."
She growls.
"She's bound, dear."
"Yeah, well, that might not stop her from snooping using any one of the three mirrors in your bedroom. I mean, three; is that really necessary?"
"To look this good, I would have to say it is. You should try it sometime."
Regina replies smugly.
"I think I'm done with mirrors for the foreseeable future, thanks."
Emma shudders, earning herself a smirk.
"Is that why your hair looks like that?"
The brunette teases, making a small motion with her hand and conjuring her brush from upstairs. In all honesty, she's just relieved the younger woman has resumed her regular appearance; sodden gold tumbling messily down the front of a dark sweater the Mayor finds comfortingly in character.
"It looks better than it did! It must do!"
The Sheriff argues, accepting the darker woman's offering with a wince as she tries to pull it through wet curls.
"That's true... Though I dread to think what state my bathroom is now in."
Regina thins her lips, watching as the blonde combs out thick tangles while sending a small spray of droplets pattering down onto the kitchen floor.
"Don't worry. I spent about ten minutes washing myself, and another five hosing down your shower."
Emma grins; the expression strained as she recalls dark, clotted blood pooling around her feet.
"Yes, well, I've seen your version of 'clean' before, Sheriff..."
The brunette sniffs.
"Mm. Because the state of your guest bathroom is really high up on the list of importance right now."
"I like to keep my things nice!... I told the Evil Queen much the same."
"Yeah? Was she threatening to rearrange your throw cushions or something?"
"I was referring to you, dear."
Regina snaps, suffering a moment of shared awkwardness when Emma shoots her a wary look, but she pushes it away as she elaborates impatiently
"I see value in the things I choose to surround myself with. Be that you, Henry, or my chosen bathroom features. My house. My car."
"I'm a little surprised by the order, but go on."
"There was no order, and shut up. I just went through hell and back to help you out of a tough spot, Miss Swan."
"Please, we've done that already. This was more of a realm-leap."
"It was an exercise in stress and horror!"
"Mm. And you weren't even there for the highlights."
Emma scoffs, falling easily into their familiar back and forth, but the expression Regina throws her sends her grin crumbling into an uncomfortable wince, and she falls swiftly silent.
"... I made a mistake."
Regina speaks up finally, bringing them back to the seriousness of the matter at hand as she considers the nicks and scrapes blemishing the younger woman's pale features.
"You did what you thought was the right thing to do."
"I did, but that doesn't mean it wasn't a mistake. She had you for little more than forty-eight hours and look at the destruction she caused."
"Regina-"
"-No. Don't 'Regina' me, Emma. What if it hadn't been you she'd come upon that evening? I don't believe she would have harmed Henry, but what if it had been Snow she'd managed to get alone by herself? What if it had been just some poor soul visiting a loved one's grave that she decided to sate her boredom with? I could have been responsible for murder right now."
The brunette confides unhappily.
"You didn't know. You didn't know she was out there, Regina."
"No... But that's the terrifying thing. I was completely unaware. I can't feel her. I can't tap into her energy, or preempt what she means to do. She is me, a version of me, but I can't control her while she exists outside of myself... I can't control her, and I can't kill her, because you were right; there are pieces of me that are missing, that are her... I don't want you to think that I'm empty."
"Regina, if you decide that you want to find a way to do it, to kill her, you know I would never say you were-"
"-But you have. You have already. Because it's true."
"Okay, I know I did, but..."
Emma frowns as she tries to decide how to respond, and the brunette calls her out softly.
"I know you would never say such a thing to me if it were by my own design. If it couldn't be changed. If you weren't angry with me... All due respect though, dear, my distress doesn't so much stem from what you might think of me, but rather, that you would be right."
"Yes... I imagine that would be very distressing for you."
The blonde smiles weakly, earning herself a small twitch from full lips before Regina continues
"I need to fix this. I need to take back what I did that night on the roof... I wish it weren't so, but it is."
"So, what do we do?"
"I don't know..."
Regina shakes her head, watching as the blonde pushes herself up from the table in order to turn on the coffee machine with a sense of familiarity that causes her stomach to tighten; struck by the sudden understanding of how devastated she would have been if things had turned out differently on the other side of the glass. Struck by how close their relationship has become over the years, and how deep her denial as to the true nature of things has been.
"What would you do?"
She asks quietly, meeting the younger woman's gaze as Emma offers her a pensive frown before going back to the task at hand. The Sheriff remains silent as the machine hums to life and grinds the beans and heats the water, fetching a carton of milk from the fridge without being asked in order to prepare the Mayor her drink as she knows she likes it. Finally, when she's done steaming the milk, she hands the darker woman her cappuccino and perches on the counter with her own mug clasped tightly in both hands.
"I would take her back. I would want to be whole; in control."
"What if I feel that control starting to slip? What if I don't even realise it's happening?"
"Then you come to me. Simple... And not really any different to how we've managed things for a while now."
Emma shrugs.
"I suppose not... What about the others, though?"
"What about them?"
"I..."
Regina trails off as she tries to find a way to best explain herself and the weight she feels heavy in her chest.
"...I'm a proud person, Miss Swan. I don't like feeling like a fool, much less looking like one... But how else am I supposed to feel knowing that I failed at something so vital and allowed such an awful series of events to follow?"
"Well, I guess you'll feel however you feel. And, I imagine that might change if and when you take the Queen back."
The blonde replies simply.
"That's not helpful, dear."
"Why not?"
"Because, it's not what I meant, and you know it. What will the others think when I tell them what's happened?"
"Why would you tell them?"
"Well, I... I have to."
"Why?"
"Because... What happened... What-"
"-Regina, what happened is something I'm more than okay with you not telling my parents and our son about!"
"She could have killed you, Emma! She wanted to. She wanted to murder your mother!"
"Be that as it may, you don't have to fucking repent! Okay? If you want to tell them, then that's fine, that's something else entirely, but you're not obligated to."
"...No?"
"No. If you were planning on allowing the Evil Queen room and board in town, then my answer would be very different, but that's not the case... My parents and Henry believe you killed the Queen, as was your intent. That's what everyone, save for a select few, believes. If you take her back, that doesn't change what you were trying to do, and it doesn't render your wish to distance yourself from your darkness void. I know why you wanted to do it, we all understood why you wanted to do it, and you tried... If I thought anyone might be in danger by keeping recent events a secret, I would insist that you come clean. Of course I would. I mean, it's my parents that are most likely to suffer for our silence, but I trust you. I do... And, anyway, for all intents and purposes, you did exactly what you said you were going to do."
"I failed to kill her."
"Okay, so a small part didn't go to plan."
"A small part?!"
"Regina, you did what you did so that you could be happy. So that you could win for once. You did it because you wanted to secure being a good person, and you are. You are a good person, and you will be happy. You will win. You'll do exactly what you set out to achieve and more. You'll just do it as a whole person, struggling with the occasional battle of will and want that every whole person experiences."
"And you would lie to the others so easily?"
"Well, I highly doubt anyone's going to come and ask me whether I think you look a little more evil or regal of late."
"Be serious, Miss Swan. Please."
"I am!... And besides, I have a feeling there might be other things people start gossiping about when it comes to what I think of you in the near future, Madame Mayor. Seriously."
Emma shrugs with a pointed look, and the brunette swallows.
"Is that so?"
She replies silkily.
"I hope so."
The blonde nods, catching the unconvinced frown the Mayor offers her and grinning sheepishly in response as she comes clean
"Okay, I would rather people mind their own fucking business, but that's never going to happen, and we both know it."
"Not a chance."
The darker woman agrees, cocking her head as she sips at her coffee before asking curiously
"You honestly wouldn't mind?"
"Not really... Although going back to our previous topic of conversation, your decision as to whether to come clean or not might change my answer a little."
"How so?"
Regina narrows her eyes; surprised that the blonde might find her recent failure to be of personal embarrassment.
"Well, I just think I might like to space out telling my parents that the Evil Queen has been walking amongst us and the fact that we're fucking by a couple of weeks to avoid giving David a stroke."
Emma reasons, chuckling lightly when the brunette chokes on her coffee.
"It's no laughing matter!"
The Mayor scolds once she trusts herself to speak, staring the younger woman down haughtily until Emma yields and takes a guilty sip from her mug.
"It's also rather presumptuous of you."
Regina sniffs primly, before flashing the blonde a cruel smirk when the latter coughs in her attempt to swallow.
"And now we're even."
The brunette teases, earning herself a watery-eyed scowl.
"Not even close."
Emma warns, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand, before adopting a rather less confident tone.
"I didn't mean to overstep. I was only joking."
"You didn't, and I hope that's not true."
"Oh... Well... I-"
"-But I do think we should return to the matter at hand while time is on our side."
"Sorry."
"As am I..."
Regina confides as she watches the blonde pensively over the rim of her mug.
"How is it that time is on our side, anyway? Why isn't she screaming at us or trying to get free?"
Emma asks, blushing slightly under the intensity of the Mayor's gaze.
"Fairydust."
The brunette replies, watching as the younger woman slips down from her perch and tops up her now-empty mug with merlot before taking a seat across from her at the table.
"I'm sorry, what?"
The blonde scoffs as she takes a rather indulgent sip.
"You heard me. And you've encountered far stranger things, so desist pretending as though you're not familiar with the likes of dragons, ogres, fae and such."
"Fine. But I'm still going to need more information."
Emma growls irritably.
"Fairydust, like so many things, comes in a number of varieties."
"Uhuh. Sure. Naturally."
"Hush!... The dust I used works very similarly to the pollen found in enchanted poppies. I'm not sure if you remember, but when Tinkerbell-"
"-I remember."
The blonde cuts in harshly, earning herself a frown as Regina considers her brash response silently before continuing on without pushing for an explanation.
"Yes. Well. The effect of pink fairydust is similar to that of pollen, in that it inhibits one's magic. Unlike the effect of poppies, its main use is to inspire vivid dreams."
"Why would we want that? Why would anyone want that?"
"Traditionally, it's used by fortune tellers. Oracles. Medicine men and women, too. Right now it just buys us some time and keeps the strain off of our magic. The ropes we've used to bind the Queen keep her trapped physically as she has nothing to offer that would breech their enchantment, but I don't want to risk anything when it comes to her cunning or power."
"That's fair... Why do you have fever-dream dust, though?"
"They're not fever dreams... Well... Not by name, but I suppose there are some similarities now that I think about it."
Regina muses thoughtfully.
"So?"
Emma pushes curiously for an answer.
"I retrieved what I could once the Curse was broken to use when I needed a break."
"A break?"
"Yes, Miss Swan. A break. From you, from this town, from the mess of my own making... When Henry decided he wished to spend all of his time with you and your parents, and I couldn't leave the house without being glared at and whispered about, sometimes I needed a break. I had trouble sleeping, and I wasn't prepared to subject Henry to two alcoholic mothers, so sometimes, when I was feeling particularly unhappy, I would opt for dreams rather than watching everything I worked so hard to build crumble around me."
Regina explains in a clipped voice, pursing her lips as she glowers at the blonde as though daring her to make fun of her for her weakness.
"... You used it as an antidepressant, then?"
Emma asks finally, not sounding in the least bit amused by this information, and thus allowing the Mayor to breathe again.
"I suppose."
"I'm sorry... And I'm not an alcoholic."
The blonde muses, considering her wine with a raised brow, and the darker woman laughs quietly.
"I know. It was just a barb. Honestly, I've just never found much respite at the bottom of a bottle and have suffered a hell of a headache any time I've given that particular method a try."
"Mm. I've never found much respite in dreams. I'd prefer not to have them as they're rarely pleasant. A drink or two before bed helps with that."
Emma replies in kind, earning herself a tight smile.
"...You know, it's funny, dear. So often these days when I speak to you, I can't help but wish I'd tried doing so sooner."
"Yeah, well, me too. I mean, attempted poisoning's fun and all, but it might have made a lot of things easier for both of us."
"Agreed."
"Although, I guess if you hadn't challenged me to within literally an inch of my life, I might not have suffered some of the thoughts I did, and then where would be now?"
Emma splays her palms and grins as the brunette shakes her head in a parody of despair.
"Have you ever considered a relationship with someone that hasn't tried to kill you, dear?"
"Once. And I ended up in jail. I guess I took that as a lesson."
"Dear lord, I wish I could convince myself you were joking."
Regina rolls her eyes, before pointing regretfully up at the ceiling.
"As it is, I suppose we should reignite your disastrous desires and figure out what we do with Her Majesty."
"Any ideas?"
"No, but I know where we're most likely to find them."
"Gold."
Emma sighs.
"Yes, although I wonder if I can count on privacy over my failure after all once the Dark One gets involved."
"A Dark One's already involved."
"True."
"Seems I'm not the only one with weird tastes."
The blonde scoffs, before taking heed of the decidedly unimpressed look Regina fixes her with and reasoning in a more serious tone
"It all comes down to leverage with Gold. We just need to find our angle. What do the others know?"
"Nothing. That was the point-"
"-Not my parents. Lily. Maleficent. You said you went to them for help, what do they know? Do they know the Evil Queen survived?"
"Lily knows. I managed to leave that part of the story out when dealing with Mal, but I don't know what Lily has told her since."
"She won't have said anything."
Emma shrugs dismissively, meeting Regina's irritable glower coolly.
"Well, then... That leaves just Gold and your little friend in the know."
"You should hear what she calls you, and that's good. We can work with that."
"How do you figure?"
"If Maleficent and your little gang of spinsters- see, I can do it too- believe the Queen is dead, you won't be of any interest to them. They won't attempt to form an allegiance with you that might bring them power, so on that count, you're of no interest to Gold. You're not about to provide him with a pawn, or a spy, or anything so interesting if he gets bored of trying to patch things up with Belle and play one of his little games. You are powerful, though, and when you're back in control of your nastier side, you'll be even more powerful- don't look at me like that... Your alliance is, I hope, with myself, and together we hold more power in this town than Gold. If he crosses either of us, he crosses both of us, and we can make his life wonderfully uncomfortable if need be. Gold isn't interested in fighting, only in watching others do so. Up until now, he's demanded an exchange in return for his help, and usually, his price is much higher than what he's willing to part with. I guess we go there with a similar strategy; we point out that there are certain stipulations to our trade for knowledge, and that it would be in his best interest to take our demands seriously."
"Fighting talk, Miss Swan..."
"Not really. We're only proposing a deal, something which Rumple understands better than most."
"What if he doesn't comply? Once we've told him the truth of the matter, we can't take that back."
"He will. He's wary of you and he likes me."
The blonde reasons simply.
"He likes you because he finds you amusing, dear. I'm not sure that's really what we're going for."
"So, bring the cuff. Remind him that I'm really not that amusing after all."
"You know Rumple can see through an act, dear. Even a good one."
"If he fucks with you, then it won't be an act, dear."
Emma replies warningly, and Regina laughs richly in spite of the warmth colouring her cheeks and teases softly
"Flattering as your heated chivalry is, Miss Swan, I can fight my own battles."
"I know you can, but this isn't a battle. It's simply convincing a tiny, greedy man to keep to himself. My reputation's at stake as well as yours. I don't much fancy my kidnapping being common knowledge. That would completely destroy my image."
"What image is that?"
The Mayor chuckles.
"That I'm a total badass."
"Mm. I think that ship may have sailed somewhere between being the unsuspecting heiress to an ice cream parlour and attending the last town meeting with your sweater on inside-out."
"A cunning ploy to throw everyone off, I'm glad it worked."
The Sheriff argues with a grin, before mimicking the Mayor's recent gesture and pointing at the ceiling.
"So what do we-"
But she falls silent when Regina appears suddenly tense and alert; the brunette turning in her seat to face the door.
"What is it? What did she do?"
Emma whispers, no longer smiling, and the darker woman shakes her head as she pushes herself from her chair.
"Not her, she's miles away in her mind."
"What then?"
"Someone's approaching the house."
The brunette frowns, pushing herself up and stalking out into the hallway with Emma quick on her heels.
"Who?"
"I can't tell. Maybe Snow. I just hope it isn't Henry, I don't want to have to outright lie to him."
The darker woman sighs, making her way for the door, and the blonde clenches her hands into fists as she hisses warily
"Regina!"
But the Mayor ignores her in favour of opening the door and slipping out into the cold winter air.