Gaping mouths...mouth. Open wide, slicing in half, biting in half, kicking in half, crushing him between her ice-sharp fingers-
Petra jerked upright in bed. Her fresh wound protested bitterly against it, but she barely felt the burning pain up her spine. His sheets fell from her body as she reached for him, palming the skin over his torso. She ran her hands down his body frantically- the wounds, where were his wounds? He was bleeding, bleeding so much-
"Oi. Petra. Petra." Levi woke as quick as her. He grabbed her wrist firmly, stared up at her in the dark. She could just make out his glare at waking him from his sleep.
Her heart beat wildly in her chest. It was like a vice had clamped around her chest; her breathing came in short gasps. She pressed the other hand to her face. Flushed, but her hand was freezing cold. Hot, salty tears began to leak out of her eyes. Petra choked back a strangled sob.
"I thought- I thought you died." Her knees came up to her chest. She felt like a little girl again, hiding from the monsters under her bed, behind the door. When she was little, she had a ridiculous comfort in the fact that they couldn't get her if she was hidden under the blankets. What irony that those stupid monsters attacked her while she was at her safest? "With them. And I didn't, but I should've. I should've."
"No you didn't." Levi hissed firmly. His voice was rough and gravelly from sleep and something else. The strong grip around her wrist loosened. He shifted into a sitting position, his hands running gently over the bandages bound around her midsection, a startling contrast to his tone.
Levi never spoke much, even after they'd started sleeping together. What he couldn't convey in words, his actions conveyed them instead.
Gently, softly, he pressed against her back, mindful of the injury sustained from the squad's battle with the female titan. Although, Petra mused bitterly, it wasn't much of a battle.
"Every night I drown in their blood." She whispered into the darkness. A sliver of moonlight shined through Levi's threadbare curtains. She stared at his arms wound around her stomach, couldn't focus on much else. If she looked up, they would be there. Their blood slips through her fingers and their bones break under her feet and their faces fall apart into her lap. Brown and blue and grey eyes stare up at her. Dead.
But she can't say that, she can't put it into words because their blood fills her mouth and nose and ears, all metallic like she was choking on her gear, the blades being shoved down her throat and cutting her open from the inside, spilling her entrails to join theirs. They always did everything together.
Join us. You got away the first time, but you'll be torn apart on the inside now. You let us die.
Erd. Gunther. Auruo.
Her head fell back onto his shoulder. Levi pressed his lips against her temple. Petra felt his injured leg under the covers against hers, the harsh feeling of the bandages chafing against her skin. Hysterically, she thought of mummies from one of Hanji's science books. It almost made her laugh.
"I couldn't save them." Petra murmured. "I didn't move fast enough and every night they die again and again, over and over. She has Eren and she takes him, kills him. And then you-" Another cry rose in her throat and she clamped it down. "She has you too. And she kills you. Over and over and it's different each time, and I can't move. I can't."
Fresh tears sprang to her eyes. "I should've gone with them. They fought, fought so hard and I didn't do my duty and I was the one to survive."
"Petra." Levi said into her ear. He repeated it over and over until she finally trailed off into silence, exhausted. He tells her over, and over again that she wasn't at fault. The female type was unpredictable, powerful. She was lucky to survive and they would've wanted her to survive. Levi never says much, makes his few words count, but all Petra can hear are sweet, empty nothings as he kisses away her tears and coaxes her back under the covers.
And Petra as fell asleep once more, secure in Levi's arms, she knows that the ghosts of her comrades, her best friends...they will wait for her time to come. And when it does, they will welcome her warmly into their pain.