A/N: Standard "this isn't at all what I planned to write" note. I do want to get back to the main storyline, but this chapter just sort of came out and it was fun to write and I look forward to the next one it's led into, so I hope you'll bear with me for a little more fun and figuring things out before dealing with the more serious side of tying up loose ends with Hyde. Reviews would be lovely!
"Subtlety must be genetic... Or lack thereof."
Regina muses as she stirs a can of chopped tomatoes into the onions and garlic sizzling in the pan.
"Hmm?"
Emma asks, reaching forward to snatch up a cookie to chase the one she eats when the brunette moves to take the plate away with a sigh.
"Lack of manners, too..."
The darker woman mutters as she places the remaining cookies and sandwiches inside neat parcels of greaseproof paper and shuts them in the fridge.
"Henry's manners are pretty good for his age."
The blonde counters, not bothering to argue her own case as she knows the Queen will only shoot her down. Instead, she returns to Regina's previous comment with a smirk
"You know, you can also be pretty on the nose, Madame Mayor."
"When I want to be."
"I'm not so sure that's always the case..."
Emma laughs, shrugging when the darker woman throws her a disgruntled scowl and standing by her word.
"Hmm... Be that as it may, I think what just happened was more your breed of grossly conspicuous snooping, Miss Swan."
Regina sighs, referring to Henry's third trip downstairs since their conversation a little less than an hour ago to 'check on something' in the other room.
"I have savings and a couple of shares that would suggest I'm actually fairly competent at snooping and stealth."
Emma argues coolly, shaking her head when the brunette offers her an unimpressed toss of her hair as she opines loftily
"Well, that was rather a waste of time at the end of the day really, wasn't it, dear?"
"Mm. If co-running a magical town with questionable practices when it comes to finances had seemed a viable fall-back option, I might have put in fewer hours, but, foolishly, the thought never crossed my mind."
"It would seem very little ever does."
Regina agrees cattily, before dropping her metaphorical crown and asking in a kinder tone
"Do you miss it?"
"Normality, or having an actual job?"
"Both."
"I miss understanding how the world works and not having to rely on my very own hot, but often incredibly infuriating mentor to guide me through day-to-day life. I miss eating actual fast food and ordering a coffee so excessively large it doesn't fit in the cupholder of my car. I miss going grocery shopping when I could buy beer and condoms anonymously and not as the 'Saviour', thus being offered a discount which has always been insanely awkward but insisted upon."
"Well, that's less of an issue now at least..."
"Ah, see, there you go. Silver lining."
"And the job?"
"Now and then. I was good at it, and when I got the guy - or girl - I felt a sense of accomplishment. Admittedly, I suppose that part was always a little bittersweet if I sat and thought about it, so I rarely did much of that... That became harder to do once I moved here. Especially the second time around, after the mind-fuck that was New York and returning to bail bonds work for a bit."
"How so?"
Regina asks curiously, adding some mince into a second pan to brown.
"Well, the whole premise of catching the 'bad guy' gets complicated when that involves over half of your inner circle... At the time, there were still people here that called you evil- not many, but a few- and you yourself liked to throw it in now and then after a glass of wine. It was hard being back here, with you and with Hook, and realising I really didn't feel so good about letting others tell me who the bad guys were when it's a hell of a lot more complicated than breaking the law."
"You didn't feel that way before? Given what happened when you were younger?"
"I did, I just pushed it aside. It was good money, and enjoyable work most of the time. Well, for me, it was. I guess it suits a certain kind of person, but that's a whole other thing. I could make it just about that for a while, but once I got my memories back, it got complicated again. I spent quite some time unsure whether or not I meant to stay here - much longer than I think my parents ever realised - but I knew pretty much as soon as Hook gave me that potion that I couldn't go back to doing what I was doing. Then, I spent a few evenings talking to you, and that cemented it, I guess. I knew who you were then, and how messed up the whole good and bad thing could be, but I think even before, when I first came here, with Henry telling me all this stuff about you, it all got kind of confusing quite quickly... Although, that could also have been the whole Curse thing, not so much my feeling that you were weirdly alright beneath all the airs and threats."
"When you were hopelessly attracted to me, you mean? Crushing on me?"
The Queen smirks, adding the meat to the sauce to cook through and covering the pot with a lid. Checking the timer before taking a seat at the table opposite the blonde, she raises a brow as she asks curiously
"Did you really like me all the way back then?"
"Like's a strong word, but I really don't want you to say 'crushing on' again."
Emma pulls a face.
"No, I'd rather not make frequent use of the term, either. You know what I mean, though."
"I do, and I don't know why you're so surprised. I told you, it'd been a while."
"You did, but not for the entirety of our relationship!"
"Well, some strange outfit choices when dealing with you in the book aside, you've always looked the same, so..."
The blonde shrugs, crossing her arms defensively, before cocking her head and choosing her next words carefully.
"And, you did pretty much leave the door wide open for me to think about you the way that I did. I wasn't the only one that first night when I dropped Henry off looking a little too long and a little too intently, Madame Mayor. And then there's the whole cider thing."
"Hmm?"
"You told me that you only confirmed who I was - that I was the Saviour - after I left that evening. That first night, I was just Henry's birth mother, and, while I can imagine I was therefore the last person you wanted to see, your actions were a little peculiar given the circumstances. You say you spiked my drink in order to cast me in a bad light in the kid's eyes, but wouldn't it have been easier to just let me leave? Even if I'd decided to come and check up on him, you had all the paperwork you needed to prevent it if you wanted to... I'm sure once you fully understood who I was, you might have regretted playing that particular hand, but I've always wondered why you played it at all... You kept me around at your mercy for a short while, with no reason to do so other than maybe you were just a little bit curious about what you'd seen that evening..."
"Hm. Firstly, I looked at you intently, as I was rather alarmed by the shade of your jacket, dear. And, if I looked too long, I'd say that's my own bad luck."
"That doesn't explain the cider."
"No. It doesn't... But my caution and desire to hold all the cards and know exactly what I'm dealing with do. That's all it was."
"Well, that backfired a bit then, didn't it?!"
Emma chuckles, unphased by the Mayor's apparent rebuttal, and Regina rolls her eyes, before admitting pensively
"Mm. Jacket aside, I wasn't opposed to what I was presented with that night. But for me, it's in the name. I've always liked pretty things, and, more so, once over the shock of learning of your tie to Henry, it was soon apparent that you were just as uncertain and uncomfortable about the fact as I was, thus immediately rendering you vulnerable, and that has indeed always been a trait I've found delightfully appealing, especially when it comes to pretty things. I didn't spike your drink with explicit intentions, Miss Swan, but that's not to say those ideas didn't briefly enter my mind... You were new and exciting for all of a few minutes, but then you did what you always do and opened your mouth. As soon as you mentioned the book and the Curse, whatever it was I might have been thinking of doing to you was swiftly replaced with an altogether more malicious array of thoughts... For a while thereafter, things remained that way. You continued to irk me, to unwittingly threaten me, and to dress absolutely appallingly. Add to that the fact that when not dolling yourself up for a faux-date you saw little reason to sort your hair out half the time, I found you insufferable and nothing more."
"I did pick up on that last part, yeah."
The blonde nods with a small grin which promptly falls into an irritable flash of her teeth as Regina pushes herself up to check on their dinner while marvelling gleefully
"Gosh, to think you've been so utterly obsessed with me all this time."
"Because that's exactly how I worded it..."
"I suppose it makes total sense."
The brunette shrugs as though Emma has said nothing at all, and the Sheriff shakes her head in a parody of despair before getting up and pulling on her jacket with a pointed glower.
"Where are you going?"
Regina frowns, losing her smug attitude as she turns to study the blonde with a spoon of sauce raised to her mouth; blowing on it before tasting it.
"Well, as pleasant as it's been sitting here listening to you mock me, Madame Mayor-"
"-Emma, you know I was only-"
"-We said we'd keep my parents in the loop on the Jekyll and Hyde thing. I'd apologise for possibly interfering with your dinner plans, but as you've cooked easily enough for seven people and will freeze whatever's left over, I reckon I can be let off the hook... I also think Henry coming down to spy on us every twenty minutes might point to the kid not being quite ready for another sleepover... Have dinner with him without me around making it hard for him to ask anything he might want to ask, and then I'll take him for breakfast tomorrow so he can ask me anything he might want to without you listening in. I'll go and tell my parents that we plan to conclude our weird little situation with Hyde tomorrow, and if you're really bored later and want to get totally gross with this whole thing, you have my number."
"Hmm... An unsettlingly sensible plan, dear."
"It does happen from time to time."
"Well, this is news to me."
Regina smirks, following the blonde out into the hall so that she can lock the door behind her.
"Bye, Henry!"
Emma yells, chuckling when the boy shouts back just as loudly, causing the Mayor to thin her lips disapprovingly.
"Bye."
She repeats at a normal volume, heading down the steps of the mansion while pulling out her car keys.
"Bye, dear... I'll call you later."
Regina nods.
"Now who's obsessed?!"