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Sometime between the late hours of the night and the wee hours of the morning Kaku awoke to the sound of gentle tapping, tangled up in strong arms and a thin blanket. The odd noise here and there was normal to hear at Paulie's; being attached to the neighbouring apartments his small home didn't make for the most peaceful or private place, but something felt different; wrong. He frowned and rubbed his eyes as the sound repeated, the same three taps as before. It had him on edge. It sounded much too close to be the neighbours like it usually was.
The tiny bedside light was still on from before they'd fallen asleep so he used it to quickly assess the room around him. He found no immediate threat so he waited as silently as possible to hear it again in order to hone in on where it had come from. For a while there was only Paulie's heavy breathing. He tried to sit up so he could take a good look around the apartment but felt the other foreman's arms tighten around him and pull him back closer. He couldn't help but give in right away and envelope himself in his warmth.
"They're always wantin' somethin' from me, eh..." Paulie's sluggish voice was nearly incoherent "damn vampires..."
Kaku laughed quietly as he stretched and yawned.
"What are you on about now?"
Paulie only snored loudly in response and rolled the other way.
Kaku shook his head, accustomed now to his random bursts of sleep-talking from the few times they'd already stayed the night together - though prior they'd never shared a bed. They would spend many hours laughing and carrying on, sitting close to each other on the sofa; each time feeling a bit more comfortable with letting their guards down and their bodies brush against each other, sharing drinks and stories - the tension rising until they were nearly drowning in it. Paulie would always end things early, as if he feared things escalating. He'd offer Kaku his bed and then, much to the younger man's surprise the first time it happened, he'd awkwardly tuck him in. He'd often hesitate before saying 'goodnight' then he'd head to the couch to sleep without a blanket or pillow.
This time, however, Kaku had surprised even himself with a bold and impulsive move. He'd grabbed Paulie's wrist and pulled him back towards the bed; stared up at him with pleading eyes while the sandy-haired foreman's cheeks blazed a shade of deep scarlet.
"Though perhaps, tonight...you might consider staying."
"You know...you really do talk just like someone's granda'." Paulie had grumbled as he climbed in next to him - sounding much more calm, collected and confident than he looked.
Now, Kaku settled back against his counterpart's chest and sighed, anxiety rising in his own.
For once in what felt like a long time he was having conflicting emotions. The feelings he'd gained over the time they'd known one another, and now the intimacy shared between the two of them, just wasn't something he had planned for; wasn't supposed to happen. Things like this were never to come into play in his line of work and he knew there'd be hell to pay if the others found out.
Part of him wanted to slip off of the stiff mattress, get dressed and sneak away without a sound while another part of him wanted to stay put and never move again.
It had been different than what it always was with Lucci; it didn't feel rushed, forced, or angry. For the first while, they'd only held each other quietly. Despite the rough, calloused skin from his years as a shipwright Paulie's touch was tender and caring. Eventually, the shy blonde had worked up the nerve to kiss the back of his neck and it was then that Kaku knew he was truly in too deep - and he didn't try, nor want to, stop it. He only wished silently that it all could've happened under different circumstances.
Now, he reached over and switched off the lamp just in time to hear another series of taps. Now that he was wide awake he could tell it was coming from right behind them; either from the window or the door that led onto the small balcony.
"Oi...Will you tell that bloody pigeon to fuck off? Go tap on Tilestone's window for god sakes..." Paulie pulled the blanket over his head as he grumbled then continued to snore.
Kaku froze at the words and felt his skin begin to prickle up. His throat tightened and he felt immediately sobered. His eyes fell on a muddled but familiar shadow that was spilled across the moonlit wall from the bare glass that led to the outside world.
Hattori...of course.
This was Lucci's way of saying that he was there, and knew that Kaku was there too; his was his way of drawing him out.
For a moment he considered just closing his eyes and trying to pretend that he didn't notice, however, he knew it would only make things worse in the long run. Lucci had probably been long waiting the exact moment he'd woken up and could probably sense his rising fear as well - he was probably enjoying it.
He slid away from Paulie and did his best not to stir him. He gritted his teeth and reached as slowly and subtly as possible for his discarded boxers and pulled them on. After a deep breath he swung himself off the bed.
Hattori was visible through the pane of the balcony door, and tapped three more times while staring directly into Kaku's eyes. He couldn't help but shudder - something had always unsettled him about the little creep.
As he opened it the bird fluttered off and down to the streets below, likely to perch on his master's shoulder. He winced and stepped towards the rail to look down, dreading the look that he already knew would be in Lucci's steely eyes. There was no one there though, which turned out to be ultimately more frightening.
Both the near-silent click of the door behind him and the immediate pain that shot through his wrist as Lucci grabbed it surprised him; he felt ashamed that he hadn't expected it.
"We've hardly gotten anywhere with this mission and already you've gotten this... sloppy? Did you really think you were so nonchalant with all of this?"
"I wasn't exactly hiding from - "
"Pathetic. You reek of alcohol...and that worthless rodent, Paulie." He nearly spat his name out. "How utterly disappointing you are. I can't imagine you got anything worthwhile from this little tryst."
Kaku looked away from him casually as he answered. His idea of worthwhile and Lucci's were actually two wildly varying things. He tried to look indifferent as he gazed off at that wretched bird.
"I did, actually. Some intel on Iceburg, and Paulie's relationship to him. It may or may not prove to be valuable...I suppose. I think it will be though. We'll certainly have to tread carefully around him in any case. He seems quite keen on the guy. If he even gets the slightest inkling someone wishes him ill will he most certainly wouldn't be quiet about it."
"You don't say." Lucci's voice was dry and uninterested. "And here I thought he was - how did you say it? - keen on you. Here we are, after all."
Kaku swallowed all emotions as he so often had to do and plastered a wry smile on his face.
"Oh? You think so?" He scoffed haphazardly under his breath and spoke in a hushed tone "Though I suppose the pitiful thing would fall for anything that tosses a scrap of attention his way. Speaking of, it seems he's gotten quite close with Iceburg over the years. Of course we know that, but it turns out he was rather young when he took him on as an apprentice. Taught him what he needed to know to get him where he is today, all that bullshit. He seems a bit obsessive though. I might predict a typical schoolgirl slash teacher crush forming. You know."
"I do not 'know'," Lucci grabbed his throat and squeezed while he held a cold stare. "nor do I care."
"No. I suppose you wouldn't." Kaku's voice came out more distant than he'd intended while he tried to act as unbothered as possible.
It seemed to enrage Lucci further; his grip tightened.
"What I do know is that if you continue to bed yourself with that mindless ape, you'll have a lot more to worry about than reeking of a stale old casino, cigarettes and semen." He dropped his hand from his throat and backed away, looking both disgusted and bloodthirsty. "You can be sure you'll lose more than just your position and privileges."
"I'm sorry that you're taking this so personally. I got what I wanted. It's not like this will happen again. Why execute a mission twice if it was successful?"
"Do you really take me for such a fool?"
Kaku tried his best not to sigh and roll his eyes. If he showed an ounce of sarcasm it would be more trouble than the satisfaction was worth. It was difficult maintaining so many different demeanours. The way he carried himself with CP9 was quite different to how he had to dance about on eggshells one on one with Lucci. Then there was the way he was at Galley La.
He smiled instantly at the thought.
He found he liked that guy the most - that Kaku . That version of him was kind, good and naive. He'd never do shady things that ended in bloodbath and regret, only fight righteously for the company and city. That was the Kaku that had woken up groggily beside Paulie only minutes ago, who was all but lost the moment the darkness of Lucci's shadow fell on him. Or Hattori's, rather.
He wondered if that meant that Kaku, the good one who loved boats, his friends, giraffes and jumping through the city's rooftops...was the real Kaku. The version of himself who often found himself detesting Lucci and his mere presence was a much more favourable person to be than who he was pretending to be now. As much as he took pride in his lifelong work with CP9, the Kaku who smiled and laughed so often without having to force it felt real.
"Well?"
The sigh escaped him in the end and he could see Lucci's face darken further at the sound of it.
"I'm just not sure why - "
"You're not only compromising everything, you're disrespecting the entire team by degrading yourself - associating yourself in such ways with the likes of him. Our work is far above things like this!"
"Compromising?" Kaku raised a brow.
Lucci laughed coldly in response.
"Yes. The more one drinks, the looser their tongue becomes. You've apparently been trying to get information out of him using that premise, haven't you? What if you were to end up letting something slip instead? I won't have anymore of this nonsense. Cease or you'll be eliminated, it's that simple."
"I'm already done. You're wasting your breath and time. I already said I got what I needed."
"I'm well aware that you did."
Kaku, despite having kept his cool the entire time, felt red hot embarrassment creep up into his face.
Lucci glanced in annoyance at the door. A muffled noise had sounded from within before he could say or do anything further. He shot Kaku a cold look that he knew too well - one that said he'd finish with him later - in private. He was gone in an instant, vanished into the night before he could blink. He let out another long sigh and leaned against the railing. Before long they'd be at work and he'd have to face him there along with the anticipation of what was to come.
Paulie stepped out beside him and stretched, leaving the door open behind him without a second thought. Kaku felt a strange mix of disbelief, jealousy and admiration at how carelessly he could live his life. Paulie seemed like he always just took things a day at a time. He'd deal with whatever it was when the time came. Or he wouldn't. Whichever way he chose to handle his life, he somehow always managed. As a member of CP9, everything had to be calculated and careful. He couldn't even imagine being so free.
"So you're up already then, are ye'?"
He looked away from him out at the city and suppressed a deep sigh - and the urge to reach out for him. Instead he shot him a wide smile.
"Indeed I am, as are you. Which is rather surprising. After everything I'd have thought you'd be out cold until it was time for work."
"Heh. Yeah." He moved a bit closer to Kaku. "I guess I just can't stop thinking about...y'know. Everything last night."
Kaku looked at him as earnestly as he could.
"Last night?" He laughed lightly. "It's strange really, I can hardly remember a thing. Serves me right for drinking I suppose - though I thought I didn't have too much. Did something funny happen?"
"O-oh? You forget...everything?"
The tone in Paulie's voice and the look on his face was too much for Kaku to handle so he looked off at the city again.
"Mhm. I find that happens often with me. What went on then? Nothing too extreme I hope." He let out another awkward, forced laugh.
"Uh..well - " Paulie looked at him for a moment, at a loss for words, before he dropped his shoulders. "Nah."
"I mean of course I do recall earlier in the day before we started drinking. You were making quite the fuss about Iceburg...as always." He forced a teasing smirk.
"An' just what the hell's that supposed to mean!?" Paulie sounded genuinely hurt and angered, and it surprised Kaku enough to make his heart leap. He kept pushing.
"Oh, come now - it's no secret! Everyone knows you're entirely soft on him. I'm almost sure there's already something going on with you two, the way you look at each other, spend time together. The way you worry about him like he's your wife!" He let out a chuckle but his fists were clenched and shaking, his insides weak.
I'm sorry, Paulie...
"W-what!?" His face was redder than ever, and he backed towards the door. "Where the hell is this coming from!? After everything why would you - "
"Considering how many times his name escaped your lips while you slept...what am I supposed to think? You can tell me you know. I've got bets on it with a few of the others, but I won't really tell them."
Paulie's expression had become entirely blank as Kaku spoke; when he finished speaking, he only sighed and headed back inside, closing the door behind him as he'd found it.
Kaku turned and continued to stare out across the city, a fake smile still plastered across his face. He wondered who he was even trying to convince.
The lie tasted sour on his tongue, like the words had curdled as they were spoken. It was the easiest method he could think to use to put an end to it all, yet at the time it was also the hardest. The truth was that he only had suspicions about Paulie's feelings towards their boss - and he used the jealousy he felt to weave the lie - to twist himself away from the comfortable feeling of humanity that he'd shared briefly with him in that rundown, little flat.