I REALLY wanted to finish Malady 4 before it was time to do and upload the third and final Zucchini Extra (two years in real-time; twenty years in in-universe time - also, how has it been two years since Part 2 already?). Well, it didn't work out, but I'm in the middle of editing the next main chapter (and it's an enormous thing word count-wise)! It will definitely be up sometime next week^^

Anyway, I finished Zucchini 3 later than I intended as well^^' Things got in my way and I got carried away and wrote... 7k for this chapter? That's the word count of the last two parts combined.

Now, for a little interlude before the next main chapter (very sorry about that) with a widely different cast of characters than usual :)

Fun with Holidays:

Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbour's Porch Day (August 8) - Part 3

London, England, United Kingdom – August 1887

At the age of eleven, Ciel Phantomhive had seen and experienced more than other children his age: He had become the Queen's Watchdog when he was only ten years old and established his own company in the same year. He had worked hard for it, and it was quickly gaining its place amongst the kingdom's biggest concerns and in the people's hearts.

He had survived the raid on his manor, survived a month with cultists, made a demon his butler, outwitted and murdered numerous people double and triple his age as the Watchdog.

Still, Ciel had never heard of something as ridiculous as what his fiancée told him one August Monday when she paid him a surprise visit at the townhouse while he was having breakfast.

"Can you repeat what you have said?" asked Ciel and put down his cutlery. His fiancée Elizabeth Midford became a whirlwind when she was overtaken by her own excitement. He sometimes had problems following her rapid speech – though he was not sure if this had been the case today or if the ridiculousness of her words had indeed reached him, but his brain was still attempting to process it.

"Of course," Elizabeth said with a bright smile. Like a sun, she was always bright and full of energy. Sometimes, Ciel caught himself wondering how they could be related to each other when she was like that and he was her opposite. The reminder that she had inherited her bright passion from her father, who was only Ciel's uncle by marriage, always came a second later.

"Would you like to take a seat first, Lady Elizabeth?" Sebastian Michaelis enquired. He had been standing silently by his master's side while he had eaten – an oddity because Sebastian usually always had something to say – and had kept his silence when Elizabeth had barged in and started to talk. He likely had not found any opportunity to raise his voice due to her rambling until now.

"Oh, of course, thank you, Sebastian," said Elizabeth and sat down on the chair Sebastian swiftly pulled out.

"Ciel, I was saying," she continued when she was properly seated and Sebastian had fetched her a plate and cup, "that today is a special day for our family."

Ciel blinked at her. "It is?"

"Yes. Since our grandparents' youth, the Phantomhives have been observing a tradition every August 8th."

"'Every August 8th'?"

"It's not quite 'every August 8th,'" Elizabeth admitted. "One year was skipped, but, apart from that, it was an annual event."

"'Every August 8th but one' is still very frequent. How come I have never heard of a tradition connected to this date before?"

Elizabeth smiled sheepishly. "Well, you see, Ciel… The tradition can only be upheld here in London, specifically in this neighbourhood, and it is an 'embarrassing' tradition. Mother and Uncle Vincent have been upholding the tradition on their own for years: They met here at the townhouse for this day and then continued with their regular lives afterwards. They only told Father and Aunt Rachel and kept it a secret from us children. However, Mother told Edward and me about the tradition a year ago as it can only be done in pairs, and last year… last year, she could not do it with Uncle Vincent anymore." Her voice cracked at this part and her gaze momentarily turned sad, but she quickly caught herself and continued as cheerfully as before. The break had only lasted a second or two, though Ciel had still noticed it. It was always easy to spot a cloud in an otherwise clear blue sky; even if it appeared for only a moment.

"At any rate, it was Edward's and my turn last year. I wanted to tell you about it then, Ciel, but Mother insisted that it may be better to wait at least one more year. After all, you were so busy arranging your business under your new title and building your company," Elizabeth went on. "I am sorry for not telling you sooner, Ciel."

"This is fine," Ciel replied. "It was very considerate of you not to tell me about it last year. I was indeed very busy a year ago around this time; I doubt I would have had time to worry about an old family tradition. What is it about anyway?"

"We have to sneak zucchini onto the neighbour's porch," Elizabeth said as if it was the most normal thing in the entire world.

He stared at her and blurted out a "What?" Sebastian would scold him for his bad manners later, but he could not care less about it now. Learning more about zucchinis and neighbours and porches was the priority.

He couldn't believe he had just thought this.

"Forty years ago, our grandparents started to sneak zucchinis onto the Lincolns' porch. Everything started on a Sunday when the Lincolns were being even louder than they usually were – I do not want to say this, but you know how they are – and our grandparents decided that the only way to retaliate against the noise was to sneak zucchinis onto their porch and thoroughly confuse them. Mother said that while she understands that something had to be done against the Lincolns, she cannot understand why her parents had to use zucchinis to retaliate against them. She asked but never got an answer for this."

Ciel wanted to reply something, even opened his mouth, but closed it when he couldn't think of anything. What could anyone respond to something like that?

"Although this annual event definitely confused and horrified them," Elizabeth continued nonchalantly, "the Lincolns never moved. Therefore, the tradition was continued. Our grandparents upheld it until their passing, then Mother and Uncle Vincent took over. Last year, Edward and I did it. Since 1847, 'Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbour's Porch Day' has only been missed in 1866. It is a well-kept family secret, and the Lincolns have never suspected that the Phantomhives – or, now, the Phantomhives and the Midfords – are behind the yearly appearance of zucchini on their porch."

Ciel rubbed his eyes – another action that would bring him a scolding; he did not care. He thought about how he had woken up and seen that it was August 8 on the calendar, remembered that it had been August 7 yesterday, August 6 the day before yesterday… It was not April 1st. He had not fallen asleep one day and slept through months.

It was not April Fool's, but it sure felt like Elizabeth was trying to fool him with this story.

"Lizzie," Ciel eventually said, "this is the truth, right?"

Much to his disappointment, Elizabeth nodded. "You know that I dislike lying to you," she said. "Last year, Edward and I struggled a little to accomplish the mission, but it went well in the end."

"Then, I wish you both the best of luck for this year," Ciel replied and took hold of his cutlery again.

"Where is Edward anyway?"

"Why should Edward be here?"

"For the…" he hesitated to say it out loud himself, "Zucchini Day."

Elizabeth chuckled. "Ciel, I am here and am telling you all this because it is your turn this year to do this with me."

"What?" Ciel exclaimed and nearly let go of the cutlery. He felt Sebastian's disapproving eyes on him, but the warm panic that was slowly filling his body was stronger. "Lizzie, I am sorry, but I cannot do this. There is no way I will try to smuggle some zucchinis onto the Lincolns' porch, no matter how insufferable they are and how many sleeps they have disturbed. How would we even do this? As far as I know, the porch is fairly visible…"

He saw Elizabeth inflate a little, and he felt a slight pang seeing her like that, but the panic, the almighty panic triumphed over that too. He was the Queen's Watchdog, the Earl of Phantomhive. He had no athletic bone in his body; if the mission went wrong, there was no way he could escape on time. This might be the year when the secret would finally come out. He was eleven years old, and people already did not take him seriously – how would they treat him if they learned of his participation in such an event? Treat Elizabeth and the others too? Ciel did not particularly care about what anyone thought of him. However, he could not, would not hurt his pride like that. But then, it seemed important to Elizabeth to continue this absolutely ridiculous tradition, and he had made a contract with a demon for whom it would be easy to place some zucchinis on a porch undetected after all…

Ciel looked over to Sebastian who must have realised what his master was planning because he said, "If the family tradition requires physical activity and prowess, the Young Master may not be suitable for it. He is rather helpless when it comes to such things. Considering that you had difficulties partaking in this tradition with your brother, Lady Elizabeth, it may be better to find someone else to help you with it. If there is too little time to invite Lord Edward, we may need another substitute…"

Ciel narrowed his eyes at his butler. There was a slight, mocking smile on Sebastian's lips as he said all that. He did not like that smile, did not like Sebastian's tone, and, most importantly, Ciel did not like being called "helpless" and being talked over by his own butler. And while Ciel knew that Sebastian had deliberately said all that to provoke him, he also knew that all Sebastian had said he actually thought. After all, Sebastian could not lie.

Sebastian thought that Ciel could not do anything on his own? He would convince him of the contrary.

"As this is a family tradition," Ciel said, glaring at Sebastian, "I can and will handle this myself."

"Really?" exclaimed Elizabeth and nearly jumped up from her chair. "I am so happy to be able to do this with you, and don't worry, Ciel: We don't necessarily have to engage in much physical activity."

"That's good to know," Ciel replied and then something clicked in his head. "Lizzie, why was upholding the tradition so difficult for you and Edward last year?"

"Well, you see, Ciel…"

Ever since Aaron Lincoln had been old enough to understand what was happening, he had wanted to find out how zucchinis always appeared on his house's porch every August 8th. His father was fantastically apathetic towards everything – Aaron often wondered how he had managed to get married and have a child – and never cared much for August 8. Every year on the same day, zucchinis appeared on his porch. Every time they spelled out "silence." Every time, Cosmo Lincoln only nodded when his servants hysterically told him about the zucchinis' reappearance before he went to do something else he could not care for but had to do. He had no sense for anything but stagnation. The family wealth had not risen since he had succeeded his father. The décor in the townhouse had not changed, neither had the interior of their countryside manor. The gardens wore the same flowers and trees. He hosted parties the same way his parents had. If something had worked for a long time, there was no reason to change it – that was Cosmo's philosophy. And if something did not work at all, it was too bothersome to change it too.

Cosmo simply did not like to do anything at all.

His mother Danielle, Aaron's grandmother, was both horrified of and fascinated by Zucchini Day. Forever intrigued by this event, the Viscountess had tried to find out its origins but settled on the belief that the Lincoln townhouse had been built on an old graveyard and they were disturbing its ghosts who had decided to send them a firm message every year – in zucchinis, no less. Maybe ghosts had easy access to them, who could know?

Aaron, however, was not like his father or grandmother. Unlike his grandmother, he did not firmly hold onto the first idea that came to his mind, especially not one as ludicrous as "ghosts." He regularly asked Danielle how ghosts could even carry zucchinis and she would always think of another outlandish explanation. It was a true talent: to say so many words and say so little still. He loved her regardless.

And unlike his father, Aaron had an actual drive. He stood up early every day to go on a run. He studied for hours on end. He always got perfect marks on his exams. He did his fag work at Weston College with utmost care and diligence. He wished to be Green House's prefect one day. Weston was a prestigious school, the best in the kingdom, perhaps even in the entire world, and becoming a prefect at such a school could open many doors. And Aaron was very eager to open them. He wanted to get to the top. The letter "a" was in his name twice, one after the other. He was an "ace," a born winner. He could and would master every challenge. He was born for greatness, and he would show the world how great he was.

To Ciel, seventeen-year-old Aaron Lincoln was nothing but an obnoxious idiot with no sense of personal space or sense for anything, really. Ciel did not know much about fashion; an array of people was involved in his wardrobe – Sebastian, Nina, Elizabeth – and he was only there to be turned around, measured, and dressed like a doll. He vetoed the most outrageous outfit suggestions, but otherwise, he wore everything life, or, rather, Sebastian, threw at him. Still, he knew that when he had seen Aaron wearing a bright yellow waistcoat over an aubergine shirt and green-grey trousers that he was what other, sensible people called a "fashion disaster." Even Elizabeth who always found something to compliment on was at a loss for words whenever she met Aaron. Ciel was not particularly fond of being hounded every time he needed new clothes, but then he remembered Aaron and thought "Maybe that's what would have become of me too if I had free reign over my wardrobe."

Then, he remembered how Aaron had once tried to convince him how platypuses had to be alien creatures from outer space which had come to Earth and failed spectacularly trying to camouflage themselves as Terran animals.

No, Ciel would have only ended up like Aaron if he somehow lost at least half of his brain matter.

Knowing very well that Aaron's attempts at throwing himself as far away as possible from his ancestral apple tree were futile at best, Ciel reacted to Elizabeth's retelling of last year's August 8 with only a tired sigh.

Apparently, Aaron "Ace" Lincoln had made it his holy mission to get to the bottom of the strange zucchini appearances. And while he had no wit to spare, he had persistence in abundance. Last year, he simply did not want to leave Edward and Elizabeth out of his sight and gave them lectures on his numerous ridiculous theories (but then, considering the event in question, ridiculous theories might be the only way to go). And when Aaron began one of his lectures, there was no escape. That boy could talk. It was impossible to simply ask for a bathroom break because he did not allow interruptions of any kind. Elizabeth and Edward had eventually managed to turn his attention to only one of them, and the other had had to sneak away and place the zucchinis in a ridiculously short time before Aaron noticed that something was off. They had barely succeeded and had to return home with a serious headache. Elizabeth sheepishly admitted that she had dreamed of zucchinis going on a walk and then dying of exhaustion right in front on the Lincolns' porch. When breakfast was over and they left the parlour, Ciel made sure to walk past the calendar in the entrance hall. No, it was truly August, not April.

"Now, Ciel, what are we going to do?" Elizabeth asked while he was leading her from the drawing-room to his office. Sebastian followed them like a gloating shadow.

"I am not sure yet," Ciel replied. "However, we cannot start now: I am not as busy as last year, but I have to do some paperwork now. Also, Her Majesty has given me a task and I need to talk to Undertaker today. I am sorry. Unfortunately," he said, "Fortunately" he thought, "the meeting cannot be postponed to tomorrow. It will not take long though, so we will have enough time for… to…"

"To sneak zucchinis onto the Lincolns' porch?" she came to his rescue.

Ciel nodded, and Sebastian opened the door to his office. "Exactly."

Ciel sat down at his desk and read through the pile of documents on his table. At least, it was fairly small today. Elizabeth walked around the room and inspected the books and the décor while he did his best to finish his work quickly.

"May I come too?" Elizabeth eventually asked.

Ciel looked up from a report on a manufacturing mishap at his Yorkshire factory (his Bitter Rabbits were wonderfully cute and widely popular, but Bitter Rabbits with upside-down sewed-on heads were neither cute nor would they be in any way popular; Ciel pondered over consulting Elizabeth on this matter, but ultimately decided against it).

"Come – where?" Ciel wanted to know.

"To Undertaker."

He nearly let go of the report in his hands. The Midfords, of course, knew about his occupation, but he did his best to keep them away from everything concerning it. Now, most of his Aristocrats of Evil were remnants of his predecessor's generation; because of this and the circumstance that Elizabeth was very fond of surprising him with visits, she knew Undertaker and the others. However, apart from Pitt (the Lark Photographic Studio was a normal enough place and also used to belong to his predecessor), Elizabeth only ever met the Evil Nobles at the manor or the townhouse. The sheer thought of bright, radiant Elizabeth in Undertaker's gloomy funeral parlour gave Ciel a headache. Also, these days, Ciel met Undertaker solely for business reasons – and this business was the one he wanted to keep her away from.

"It won't take long," Ciel said. "Maybe an hour or two. You can wait here; you don't have to come with me. What could you even want there? It's not a nice place."

Elizabeth turned away from the painting she had been looking at and to Ciel. "I do not mind that it is not a 'nice' place."

"I'm certain that it was cleaned for the last time before any of us was born, Lizzie."

"I doubt it has been that long. How could Undertaker live in such a place then?"

"You would be surprised," Ciel mumbled, and Elizabeth did not seem to have heard him as she continued, "Also, it took so long last year to get the zucchinis onto the Lincolns' porch. Edward and I had a plan. It was maybe not the best of plans, but Aaron destroyed it and nearly made us fail our mission. I think it would be good to scheme something in the carriage so that we will not lose more time."

He wanted to reply, but then her gaze softened and he knew that she was not done yet. "And we have barely been able to spend any time together lately. The last time I saw you was on Easter when I invited you to our manor to celebrate – and then you got an urgent message from Her Majesty and had to leave early. I've been looking forward to spending time with you again."

Ciel put down the report. He wanted to respond that they would still be spending time together after he had wrapped up his business at Undertaker's. However, when Elizabeth looked at him like that and said such things, it was difficult to refuse her.

"Very well," he said with a sigh, and Elizabeth beamed before he had even finished speaking. "You can accompany me to Undertaker."

Seeing Sebastian's grin when he and Elizabeth had got in the carriage had put Ciel in a terrible mood, and it took a few minutes and multiple "Oh, look at this place, Ciel!" from Elizabeth to lighten him up again. Ciel asked Elizabeth to tell him one more time about her experiences from last year. At breakfast, he had still been in shock after hearing about Sneak Zucchini Day. Now, he was able to fully process what she was saying – though, frankly, he wished he did not have to – and his brain, very reluctantly, ran at full speed to think of a strategy. When they arrived at the funeral parlour, Ciel had still not been able to think of anything. His brain worked and worked, but it seemed blocked. He simply did not want to think of this silly day and tradition. Why did he have to endure this again? Ah, because of his grandparents, the Lincolns, and Sebastian.

When Ciel got off the carriage and helped Elizabeth out – Sebastian insisted; she was his fiancée after all, and he had to be a gentleman – his brain had something new to focus on: thinking of areas in a townhouse that can get very, very dirty and are extremely difficult to clean.

Like Ciel had thought, Elizabeth stood out like a sore thumb in the alley alone. She was all smiles and sunshine at his side. She pointed out some beautiful flowers growing out of the broken street for him when Sebastian went to knock on Undertaker's door, and Ciel felt the corners of his mouth go slightly up, but only for a moment because the door opened a second later and they went inside.

"Hi hi…" it sounded from one of the numerous coffins propped messily against the walls, and Ciel sighed. It was one of those days again then.

"I've awaaaaaaited you, Earl." A coffin opened and Undertaker stepped out of it. "Though I have not awaited Lady Elizabeth."

Elizabeth curtsied to him. "Nice to meet you again, Undertaker."

"Nice to meet you again too." His reply, like most of his sentences, was followed by a laugh. Undertaker then walked to the back. "Please take a seat. It is a bit early, but let us have some tea. Hehe."

Smiling and without question, Elizabeth sat down on one of the coffins that had been placed on the ground. Ciel looked at the coffins in disdain for a moment before Elizabeth took his hand and pulled him down to seat him next to her.

Undertaker returned a few minutes later with an actual tea service instead of the usual beakers. If he had not brought his usual urn-biscuit jar as well, Ciel would have told Sebastian to get this impostor here and there. Ciel wanted to ask Undertaker about the unusual change of dishes when Elizabeth exclaimed, "Oh, you still have the tea set I gifted you!"

Ciel stared at her. First, the revelation of the Zucchini Day, and now he learned that his fiancée apparently sent gifts to Undertaker? Of course, she would. But still.

"The Lady gave me this tea set," Undertaker answered Ciel's unspoken question while he poured tea in cups, "because the last time we met, we had tea at your townhouse, Earl. You were busy and could not see me immediately, so we talked and I commented that I did not usually drink or eat from such fine china. I got this gift a few weeks later in the post." He smiled at Elizabeth as he handed her a cup of tea. "It is a treasure. Thanks," he said with a chuckle.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it."

Ciel leaned towards Elizabeth. "How did you know his address?" he whispered.

"I asked Mother," she whispered back.

"Would you like some biscuits, Lady Elizabeth?" Undertaker asked and held the urn-jar out to her at the same time as he stuffed a few biscuits into his own mouth.

"Sure. Thanks," she said and took out one. Undertaker held the urn-jar out to Ciel who declined. He liked sweets, but he was not in the mood for Undertaker's odd bone-shaped biscuits. "Bone-shaped biscuits for humans" like he called them. Ciel always wondered why Undertaker insisted on the "for humans" part. Were they actually not for humans and he wanted to hide this or…?

At least, Elizabeth seemed to enjoy and even praised them. Undertaker only responded with a "Heh, thanks, Lady Elizabeth" before he leaned back on his desk, biscuits in mouth, teacup precariously held in his hands.

"Now, Undertaker," said Ciel, "about the reason why I am here…"

"Hehe, I know why you are here," Undertaker replied and leaned back even more and was now almost half-lying on his desk. "You know what I want for paaaayment, hehe, Earl~"

Ciel tensed, having forgotten until now that Undertaker's information was not paid for in coins but in laughter, and Elizabeth tilted her head in puzzlement. Usually, Ciel let Sebastian give Undertaker his payment, but if this turned out the way it had earlier…

Ciel braced himself and was about to say something when Undertaker continued, "Only there is nothing to pay for today, hehe."

Ciel blinked at him.

"Undertaker, we have come here today because you said you had the information we needed," Sebastian said.

Undertaker held out a finger. "No, I didn't. I said that I would maybe have the information by today. It was an estimate. The bodies have still not been delivered to me. Apparently, the transporter changed and has a terrible sense of orientation… Went to another 'Undertaker's funeral parlour'… My name is surely popular." He laid down on the desk and giggled.

Ciel pinched his nose. "So we have come here for nothing?"

"Oh, not for nothing, Earl. Didn't I give you tea and biscuits?"

Ciel scowled at him. Then, in one fluid motion, the teacup still precariously held, Undertaker got up and sat down on his desk. He crossed his legs and propped his arm on them and held his head. "Also, Earl, if I remember correctly, it is that day today."

Ciel groaned. "How do you know?"

He chuckled. "You are not the first Phantomhive I got to know, Earl. And you know how much I love all that is full of laughter… It's been forty years now since the first time if I am correct…"

"Were you there then?" asked Elizabeth.

Undertaker smiled crookedly. "Maybe, I was. Maybe, I wasn't." He laughed. "Your father, Earl, would always tell me about what he and his sister did that day. Lady Francis was often there when he told me and was not amused that he shared it but they always had such fun stories… They usually just knocked, went inside, and hoped for the best; one distracts, one places the zucchini. Once, your father was chased by the Lincolns' dog. He tried to climb over the fence, fell, and then lost consciousness. I wished I had seen that, hehe."

"My predecessor did what?" said Ciel blankly.

"Never shied away from anything, your father. Made him such a fun person, hehe." Undertaker grinned. "Promise that you will tell me about your Zucchini Days."

"Absolutely not," Ciel said at the same time as Elizabeth said, "If we can meet, of course."

Undertaker laughed. "It's your turn this time, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," Elizabeth replied. "Edward and I upheld the tradition last year – next time we meet I will tell you about it in detail! – and this time, it is Ciel's and my turn."

"Quite busy, aren't you? What's next year? The Earl and Lord Edward?" He took another biscuit. "There have never been that many of you before. Rotations, how entertaining."

"We are not sure yet. We have to see if it works out like that next year."

"I hope it does." Undertaker put down his cup. It had, to Ciel's surprise, survived the mortician's constant erratic movements. "I hope today will be as fun as the last years, Earl." He grinned. "The story of today will definitely pay for the information you came here for~"

"You don't have to push yourself that much to think of something, Ciel," Elizabeth said when they had returned to the townhouse and gone to sit in the drawing room.

Ciel blinked at her.

"You have been looking quite anguished for the carriage ride and you still do, and I said in your office that we could think of a plan."

He nodded. "Right."

"And you still haven't said anything regarding a plan, so I guess you are thinking about it? We can both think of someone; it doesn't have to be just you."

"I know. It's just…" Ciel sighed.

To his surprise, Elizabeth took his hand and looked sternly at him. "Today is supposed to be a fun day, Ciel. You are thinking too hard about this. Who is our opponent?"

"Aaron Lincoln."

"And what do you think of him?"

"He is an obnoxious idiot," Ciel said. It felt odd to say this out aloud to Elizabeth.

"Then why are you worrying so much about this?"

He looked at her.

She was right. Why was he worrying so much about someone like Aaron? Pondering so much about a day like Sneak Zucchini Day? Thinking so hard about a strategy when those before him had only waltzed into the Lincoln townhouse as a distraction while their partner placed the zucchini on the porch?

"Like Undertaker has told us," Ciel said, straightening up, "we will split up: One will distract Aaron and anyone else inside the Lincoln townhouse. The other one will place the zucchini when the coast is clear. The one inside will give the one outside a sign to indicate that Aaron's attention is fully elsewhere. The sign will be…" Ciel wanted to say that it would be delivered via Sebastian: that the one inside would give a sign, Sebastian would see it from the townhouse's window and give a sign to the one outside. Only, that would not work as he and Elizabeth had to do this all alone; they couldn't ask Sebastian to do even such a minor thing. Ciel took a deep breath and then began again, "Aaron may not be particularly intelligent, but he is persistent. He will be vigilant all day to catch whoever has been placing zucchinis on his family's porch for forty years. A full distraction will likely only last a few minutes. The one inside will give a sign by a window. The other one will wait in the townhouse for the sign and have the zucchinis ready and…" He gulped. "… run outside and to the Lincolns' porch to place the zucchinis and hurry back. It would be better to wait inside so that Aaron would not spot someone hiding in the bushes. I can put the zucchinis in place. Can you distract Aaron for five minutes, Lizzie?"

Elizabeth nodded. "I can."

"So the Young Master wants his fiancée to be the distraction?" Sebastian said because, of course, he did. "I doubt that this is something a true gentleman would do."

Ciel wanted to tell him that sneaking zucchini onto his neighbour's porch was not something a true gentleman would do either, but he held himself back. Instead, he replied, "Still, this is the best course of action."

"Is it? Young Master, if you have forgotten Lady Elizabeth is a young lady. It will be highly inappropriate for her to go to the Lincolns' unannounced. She can do this here as she is your fiancée, but not anywhere else."

Ciel gritted his teeth. "We can send a calling card."

"What if they decline? A visit from Lady Elizabeth would also lead to raised eyebrows and heightened suspicions. A visit from their neighbour would be less suspicious, Young Master," Sebastian said with a smile.

Ciel glared at him. "Very well. Lizzie, do you think you can run out of the townhouse, place the zucchinis, and run back in five minutes? I know your attire is not well-suited for something like this but…"

"No, I will be fine," Elizabeth said and smiled, but she seemed oddly nervous.

"Are you sure?" Ciel asked, and Elizabeth nodded fiercely.

"Good." He stood up. "Then let us go to the kitchen and see if we have enough zucchini before we start the mission."

Elizabeth stood up too and followed him out of the parlour. "Mother told us that we need exactly twenty-two…"

Ciel took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He had expected to see Gisela, the Lincolns' wicked housekeeper with the small evil eyes and the shrill voice and who defied every logic about ageing and longevity (Sebastian had already assured Ciel that she was not a supernatural being), but Aaron Lincoln himself opened the door instead. Today, he wore a green-red plaid suit as if it was Christmas and he was a Scotsman. Neither was the case. He had even paired this abomination with bright yellow shoes.

"Earl Phantomhive," said Aaron. "I almost didn't see you there."

That was another reason why Ciel didn't like Aaron. Ciel forced himself not to scowl or turn back. "Hello, Aaron. Curious that you opened the door," said Ciel.

"I am on a mission, Earl," Aaron replied and stepped out to look left and right with squinted eyes. "I've been waiting at the door since midnight. You see, since primaeval times, this place has been haunted by an odd zucchini infestation. Well, maybe 'infestation' is not the right word, but for ages, the word 'silence' has been written on our porch by an unknown hand every year. Tales have been spun around this event, and I am eager to uncover the truth! I will wait here until the culprit arrives and catch them red-handed!"

Ciel blinked at him. Did Aaron seriously believe he was the protagonist of some detective story? "What tales have been spun around this event?" he asked innocently, regretting having ever woken up today and hoping that his grandparents were happy that their descendants continued their ridiculous tradition.

Thankfully, Aaron did not think that Ciel's presence or question was suspicious, so he told him about his grandmother's idea of animate zucchinis or his own about alien lifeforms. While Aaron talked and talked, Ciel scrutinised him. He had said that he was up since midnight: dark rings were under his eyes, his usual loud speech was subdued, his eyelids fell closed every now and then and he would immediately tear them open. Aaron was very sleep-deprived; it should be easy to distract him.

After the alien theory, Aaron made a pause, and Ciel could finally speak. "Aaron, I want to know more about this odd event, but how about we go inside before you continue? Maybe if we stay in the threshold, whoever is putting the zucchinis on the porch will not appear."

Aaron looked at Ciel. "Earl, you are right. We should go inside, come." They went in, and Ciel sighed in relief when Aaron closed the door. Aaron had put a chair by the door, and besides a pair of opera glasses, there was nothing else here. For someone eager to hunt down the Zucchini Distributor, Aaron was painfully unprepared.

"You can sit on the chair, Earl," Aaron said. "You are, after all, the guest."

"Thank you," Ciel replied and sat down.

"I do not mind standing," Aaron continued. "It is good to stand and move around a bit. Keeping yourself active is essential for your health. Doing sports is essential for your health. Doing sports even helps people grow," he said with a side-glance at Ciel.

Ciel cleared his throat. "Do you know what else people offer to guests except for seats?"

Aaron stared blankly at him.

Even mannerless Undertaker who is who-even-knows-how-old knows that, Ciel thought. "Something to drink."

"Something to drink! Right, where are my manners?"

Where your intellect is.

Aaron called for a servant to bring them drinks; Ciel requested water. When the servants came with the drinks, Ciel's plan started.

Self-righteous as he was, Aaron would keep standing. However, he could not refuse to drink with Ciel. It was good manners and good for health. Also, he kept talking about extra-terrestrials, dolls he swore moved overnight, and the ground opening up, vomiting out twenty-two zucchinis in "silence"-formation, and closing up again, etc. He needed to drink to keep his throat hydrated and be able to keep talking and talking.

Ciel, on the other hand, only had to nod now and then and ask questions to further Aaron's torrent of words whenever it seemed as if he had problems to keep on going. He could sip a single glass of water for a long time without raising suspicions while Aaron burned through glass after glass. Ciel really struggled to hold back a grin.

And soon, Aaron would struggle to hold in something else.

Of course, Ciel still had to actually drink and empty and refill his glass, but the lower frequency and the fact that he was sitting made it easier for him to "hold it in." Aaron who insisted on standing, who was now talking about star constellations and planets in the right – or maybe even wrong – order, and who was on his thirty-sixth glass of water did not have it as easy.

Any second now, Aaron had to excuse himself for a bathroom break. His anguished face did not lie.

Ciel counted until it was finally time. When Ciel arrived at twenty-seven and Aaron at something about twins and cake and bangs (Ciel was barely listening to his words as his headache was awful enough already; how were those things connected to zucchini anyway?), the time finally came. Aaron said the glorious words, "Excuse me, Earl, but I need to refresh myself very quickly."

Ciel nodded, said politely, "Of course, take your time, Aaron," and as soon as the idiot was out of sight, he got up from the chair and walked to the closest window that faced his own townhouse. The bathroom was not far from the entrance hall, and with Aaron on a mission to catch the mysterious Zucchini Distributor, he would be back again in no time.

From now on, everything had to go quick.

Ciel fumbled out the sheet of coloured paper from his pocket while he counted the seconds again. They had thought about using a mirror but ultimately decided that it was too noticeable. He held the sheet to the window and saw a movement at one of his townhouse's windows. Elizabeth was on the move.

Ciel sat back down. He had never run from the townhouse to the Lincolns' because he neither liked to run nor the Lincolns. Therefore, he had no idea how much time Elizabeth needed to get to the porch and escape afterwards.

Would Aaron return from his bathroom break before Elizabeth could sneak the zucchinis onto the porch?

Ciel hoped not and crossed his fingers for Elizabeth's success. He didn't want to cook up a Plan B or be the first failure in forty years of this nonsense.

Ciel had counted to 207 when he heard Aaron's hurried stride. He reached 213 when Aaron reappeared next to him and put a hand on the doorknob.

Of course, he would want to check if he had missed anything while he was away. Ciel held his breath.

I hope he would not see Lizzie when he opens the door. I hope she was fast enough.

The door opened.

Aaron screamed.

Ciel rose from the chair, fearing the worst. Then, he realised that it had been a scream of frustration, not one of shock and followed by a perplexed "Lady Elizabeth?!"

He walked to the threshold, stood next to an annoyed Aaron.

"Silence" was written in twenty-two zucchinis on the porch.

There was no sight of Elizabeth

She did it.

A smile broke across Ciel's face. Thankfully, Aaron was too focused on the zucchinis to notice.

Now, it was time for the last step: To say "Oh, no, it has happened right in front of our noses! I remembered that I still have a lot of paperwork to do, so I, unfortunately, cannot stay and help you figure this out. I am sorry for this, Aaron." and leave in triumph.

Of course, it was never that simple.

To Ciel's horror, Aaron then started to talk – about his frustration, about zucchinis, about all sorts of cucurbits.

Once, Aaron Lincoln had started to talk, there was no end until he wanted it to end. He would make you listen.

Aaron closed the front door again, and Ciel was trapped.

Elizabeth looked at the clock in the living room. She had successfully finished her part of the mission twenty minutes ago. Ciel should have long returned from the neighbours. Where was he? Aaron couldn't have guessed that it had been their doing, could he?

Whatever happened, it made her restless.

She stood up and told Sebastian that she would go and look for Ciel. She had waited long enough. Ciel had participated in this tradition because of her, and she would not abandon him now.

With sure steps, Elizabeth went yet again to the Lincolns.

At their front door, the fruits of her "crime" to her feet, Elizabeth knocked on the door. Perhaps it was improper to visit without announcement, but as long as she had a good reason to come by without calling ahead first – like searching for her dear missing fiancé – it would be fine.

Hopefully, Gisela doesn't open, she thought. That woman always made her shudder.

The door opened, and Aaron stood in front of her. He barely paid any attention to her as he was deep in a very one-sided conversation with Ciel who looked more and more uncomfortable and anguished with every word that came out of Aaron's mouth. What was he even talking about? The Great Pumpkin and his second coming…?

"Mr Lincoln," Elizabeth said. "Mr Lincoln."

His talking was known to be unbreakable but he also put great value in etiquette – he could not possibly let a lady stand by his doorsill and ignore her. Also, Aaron looked quite tired today.

Aaron turned to her, and she hurried to speak before he could. "I am sorry to come by unannounced and bother you, but I have been looking for Ciel and…" Elizabeth looked at Ciel and feigned surprise. "Oh, there he is! Thank you, Mr Lincoln, you were a great help. I don't want to disturb you any longer." She took Ciel's hand and dragged him away before Aaron's exhausted brain could process what happened and respond to anything.

Elizabeth had to aide Ciel all the way to the Phantomhive townhouse. Aaron must have really exhausted him. When they returned, Sebastian helped to get Ciel first to the bathroom – she wondered why but didn't ask – and then to the living room where he collapsed exhausted next to her on a sofa.

"We did it, Ciel," Elizabeth said with a smile.

And then, in a rare moment, Ciel returned her smile with a lovely one of his own, and Elizabeth almost burst into tears of joy. "We did it, Lizzie," he replied and promptly fell asleep. She took his hand. Despite everything, Ciel seemed to have enjoyed their day.

Holding his hand in hers, Elizabeth began to chuckle uncontrollably and was thankful that Ciel did not stir from it.

Her mother had told her that Zucchini Day, albeit it was ridiculous beyond words, had always been a day of great happiness and laughter. Ciel had been too tired to laugh but was now asleep with a smile on his face. That was enough for him. Next year, she hoped that he would laugh too.

Elizabeth squeezed his hand. Undertaker was right: It would be fun if Edward and Ciel would partner up for next year's Zucchini Day. But she hoped that it could be Ciel and her together again.

I always intended for this to be a three-parter. It took a few years to finish this trilogy, and it's a little bittersweet that it has now ended :) I hoped you liked it^^ and see you in a few days for "The Countess, Malady - Part 4"! (Also the last part of that "series" haha.)