Over the next few days Haven became alive with movement. People bustled back and forth from the chantry, soldiers began training and Leliana's ravens sent messages out far and wide. There was even an Orlesian nobleman that came to visit. On the fifth day the liveliness became routine and normal and it somewhat made me uncomfortable. So, I took to exploring the woods, only my bow and a journal I'd found to keep me company. The crisp white snow crunched under my feed and the cool wind rustled my hair and made my skin turn pink but it was refreshing. It was a moment of solace in this busy environment and for a few moments I felt as if I was home. Just me, the trees and my bow. It was peaceful and I relished the silence of the forest. Only for the skittering of small footprints did I become alert. I drew my bow and aimed for the sound. And there, scratching at the ground was a nug, pale and ugly as it was their leather was good for the cold and I needed to replace these uncomfortable human boots Leliana gave me. I had my sights aimed directly at his head and I took a deep breath in and out again, ignoring the cloud of steam it created. This focus was addicting and I found myself drifting off to somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice telling me to lower my elbow, a voice I did and didn't recognise but I let my arrow fly before I thought too much on it. It hit and I whispered a prayer to Andruil for the nug and went to retrieve it. Only I stopped when I heard the crack of a branch and my hairs stood on end. Immediately I spun, bow taught and sights set on.
"Lady Cassandra!" I startled immediately lowering my bow as she raised her hands.
"Forgive me," she flustered, moving closer, "I did not mean to startle you."
I put my bow back and shrugged, "No harm no foul." I said flippantly as I strapped the nug to my belt. I turned back to face her and she looked almost impressed.
"So, come here to keep an I on the abomination?" I jibed and she openly cringed.
"I came to find you yes, but know I do not think of you as an abomination."
"I'm teasing, Cassandra." I chuckled and her head lifted and her eyes almost shimmered. "You were looking for me yes?" I asked as we began to walk back to Haven.
She nodded once, "We are heading to the Hinterlands to speak with a Mother Giselle about Chantry support. We may need your assistance."
"And I'll give it gladly, just let me finish up here and I'll meet you at the gates." I said with a nod. She smiled somewhat then and nodded in return. She was seemingly about to walk back to the village but she stopped and turned back around to face me, her hands awkwardly wringing together.
"Lavellan I truly hope that you can forgive-"
My slight chuckle cut her off, "Cassandra, really, stop apologising, once is more than enough. I forgive you. I get it, you were doing what was right by your people. Hopefully in the future you'll just, y'know, take a step back and think." I wasn't trying to rebuke her, but her self berating frown told me I was.
"It is always my trouble. My scholars and teachers would always complain about my lack of foresight. I simply react. I move on instinct and forget about the fallout. Should I have thought more before so boldly establishing the Inquisition? Should I have taken it up with the chantry?" Her line of questions caught me off guard as we trudged back through the snow. I had no answers to her questions, I'm fairly certain I had the same problem! As we finally reached the walls I stopped and sighed and subsiding my cringe I put a somewhat awkward hand on her shoulder.
"We are all hopelessly flawed, Cassandra. All we can do is try our best and hope for the best. The world is ending for goodness sake! A few brash decisions should be forgiven." She nodded halfheartedly but I couldn't let her go yet, so my other hand met her shoulder. I looked her dead in the eyes, "But never regret what you're doing here, Cassandra. You are helping to save people, you are making things right again and you are the only one who had nearly enough balls to make everyone shut up and listen! You are a dragon lady- in every well meaning sense of the word! You are a force to be reckoned with and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." She stared at me now, awestruck by the looks of it, utterly flabbergasted after my little speech. She nodded then, more firmly and her posture straightened.
"Thank you Lavellan, I do not deserve such faith." She said and there was the faintest smile.
"Of course you do, now if you'll excuse me I have to petition a fetching pair of nug boots and then I'll be ready to leave." I said casually as I made my way towards Harrit. "Oh and one more thing, Cass, dear:" I called and she turned back, her brow arched incredulously at the nickname, I couldn't help my smirk, "I have my friends call me Nevalla, Lavellan is my clan." Her eyes lit up then and she didn't hide the wry little smile that crept shyly onto her face. With one final nod we parted ways. My spirits were very much heightened after our exchange. Yes, she may have tried to kill me when we first met, but all good friendships are built on such firm foundations.
"You there, knife ear!" I harsh voice called out and I realised it was the blacksmith, Harritt. I ignored my sting of Dalish Pride and pursued my lips, sauntering casually towards him. He signalled for me to hurry up and called out,
"I want this armour brought up to the Herald, immediately. They make for the Hinterlands today and what she's got won't hold up to much out there. Are you deaf knife ear?" he demanded brutishly, shoving the leather amour towards me. I arched a brow and leaned arrogantly against the wall.
"Ser, I really do hope its not me to whom you are referring to with that slanderous term. Gods help you if you are." He started at me flabbergasted. I seemed to be doing that a lot recently, was I really so strange?
"How- how dare you talk to me like that, making threats like a bloody-"
I interrupted him without a flinch, "I came here to see if I could have some boots made, but seeing as you are such an ignoramus, I think I'd be better off just making them myself." I said, about to turn around before he stopped me.
"You want me to make you boots? Thought you rabbits like it barefoot. Clear off then and make you're own damned clothes, bloody knife earred whore." He grouced vehemently as I walked off again. It was only when I was thoroughly out of his view did I let out a long and wavering sigh of fury. How dare he, how bloody dare he! It was always the same! Knife ear or Rabbit, slave and servant! That's all elves ever are! I was shaking in rage as my thoughts turned red. We deserved better. We deserved to be seen as the equals we were not slandered and abused and raped like animals. Fucking Shemlens and their ignorance. Damn them all to the void, damn them and their ignornant mortal lives! I hissed out a string of elvish curses as I violent punched the walls of the tavern.
"You alright, miss." Asked one of the inquisition guards who was stationed close by, I hadn't noticed him. He peered at me worriedly and it calmed some of my anger.
I took a deep sigh, "Yes, thank you."
"You sure?" He questioned further, eyeing my fist that still rested on the wall. I huffed out a laugh and let it fall back to my side.
"Yes, just... People." I said wearily.
"Pay no heed to him, miss. People are stupid sometimes, don't let name calling get you so worked up. There are worse things to be angry about." He said wisely and I smiled, eyes drifting to the sky. When I found the breach, my smile quickly fell.
"There certainly are." I sighed.
"Aren't you with the party heading for the Hinterlands?" He asked me then, I nodded.
"The nightingale was looking for you, ma'am." He bowed his head as though his orders had been carried out. It seemed everyone was looking for me today.
"Right, yes, on my way, just need to... Would you like a nug?" I said foolishly, detaching it from my belt and offering it. The man laughed and looked at the dead ugly nug.
"I'll take these to Harrit, see if I can't persuade him to make I nice pair of nug boots for a friend." He said kindly. I was suddenly very moved by his kindness and beamed openly.
"Thank you." I said disbelievingly. He returned my smile, "What's your name?" I asked quickly as he walked away. He turned back and called,
"It's Grant, anytime, miss Lavellan!" I waved him off as I made my way to Leliana's tent. Grant, I would remember that name. I trotted up the steps, my mood again lightened after my run in with Harrit. When I arrived, the Herald was just leaving. She waved at me pleasantly and I bid her a good day. Leliana watched with a smile as she left but as she turned the corner it was gone, replaced by her stern cold mask.
"She is so young. Only seventeen and she is thrust into this mess."
"She bares it well by the looks of it." I added, remembering her pleasant smile.
"Up until now, yes. It is because of her youth I do not think she realises how grave the situation is. She is trying and the people are rallying behind her but is that enough?" She shook her head, again leaning on her maps, I couldn't answer her question.
"I have another favour to ask of you Lavellan." She said lowly, glancing around to see if anyone was listening. "I wish to recruit you as my spy." She whispered.
I arched my brow in question, "Haven't you got enough of those?"
She smirked then, "I have plenty who are able to infiltrate other organisations that could be a threat. Plenty who can travel over Thedas to gather information. But who is to spy on them? I need you to be my eyes and ears within the Inquisition. We have more than enough enemies to warrant suspicion and I am sure they will only grow. Simply keep your eyes and ears open, that is all I ask. Especially when you're out on the road."
"You want me to spy on the Herald's nearest and dearest." I interjected.
She nodded. "Cassandra is true, I know I can trust her with my life. Varric is a snake, a charming one, but they all are. Solas..."
"Is definitely hiding something." I added again.
She smiled then, "I knew you would fit this position well. I would be wary of all who join, let me know when you think they are true in their endeavours."
I nodded and turned to leave, it was nice to be given a purpose, deceitful as it was. It was nice to be so trusted. Who would spy on the spy? I didn't want to answer that question. I wanted to hope that Leliana just had that much faith in me. Though, as I got to know her more, perhaps it was the other reason.
"One more thing, Nevalla."