My dreams that night were wretched, horrible things. They were so vivid and real that I could feel every bead of sweat, every breath of wind and every flash of pain. At first I was back in that gilded hall, the intricate golden mosaics creating eery shapes on the walls in the grand firelight that lit the space. I was scared, so scared and all I could do was wish for my mother. Two long and delicate hands held me down but their grip was brutish. Another hand came and pulled back my head so that I had no choice other than to look upon a terrifying face. He seemed like a demon, with red scars down his eyes like tears and wide set jaw and a long nose and dead, lifeless grey eyes baring into mine. He was tall and broad and utterly without kindness. He lifted a silver knife from a golden tray that was presented to him by a slave... yes my mind told me the boy was a slave even if he bore June's markings. He examined the small blade and let it flash gold in the light before his eyes again turned to mine and fresh tears of fear burned down my face.

"Hold her still." Was all he said, his voice booming across the hall like a clap of violent thunder. The knife came closer to my face, I tried to squirm away, yelling for my mother but she would not hear me in this place. And then, the first mark was made and I screamed. I could feel the blood trickling down my face as he marked his lines around my eyes and lips. It was agony. The only thing I can compare it to was the pain of receiving vallaslin, but this was much much worse and I was too young, too small, only a child's body yet I was so old... my mind turned to a blur the more I dreamt, things and people became confused. The agony of the blade stopped and suddenly I was running, breathless and full of fear, following a man I did not know down a dark corridor, his torch the only source of light.

"Hurry, dhalen." He said urgently, pulling me along faster by the hand. I was no longer a clumsy child, almost a woman grown but still years of brutality had taken their tole.
That was the last moment of clarity in the dream. All other things flashed in front of my eyes in a blur. My mother embracing me, crying and laughing all at once but there was a deep pain in her eyes when she traced the markings on my face. Then being taken up the long steps and through the mirrors until the kind blue eyes set me free. I remember awakening to fear, an emptiness and a wrongness to the world that almost drove me mad. Then peace. And I was looking out again over the great expanse of trees, a free woman. And my mother smiled.

"Remember this moment, Nevalla." My mother's kind and smiling words, echoing in the confusion. Remember this moment. The words would not leave me, as I suddenly found myself falling through a dark starry night. Remember this... the words still echoed loud over my screams and the wind that whistled past my ears.
"Remember."

A flash of steely yellow eyes I awoke, again almost throwing myself off the bed. I was damp with sweat and could not catch my breath. My heart hammered and I shook with adrenalin... these dreams were getting worse. Captain stared at me curiously and cawed softly, his beady little eyes almost concerned. It was then I realised the knocking at my door and stood to answer it. My fire had long since died and I assumed it was early in the morning seeing the low orange glow the peered through my windows.
I pulled open the door to met with a cold breath of fresh morning air and a smiling Leliana. Or at least she was smiling until she caught sight of me.

"Are you well, Lavellan?" She said, her voice full of concern. I rubbed my eyes sleepily, still groggy and restless.

"Bad dreams..." I said simply and she seemed to understand, she nodded and did not ask and for that I was glad.

"I am afraid I have another favour to ask of you." She said, a small smirk rising on her face. It lightened my spirits slightly as it dawned on me why she was in such a good mood.

"The Herald is going to Redcliff." I said with a sigh of relief.

Leliana nodded, "She is, with a formal envoy in order to open discussion with Alexius in regards to the mages."

"Or so you would have him believe." I said as I leaned against the door frame. Her smile widened.

"You are sharp, Nevalla. Of course his invitation is a trap, so we shall beat him at his own game. The Herald shall meet with Alexius as a distraction, meanwhile I will need you to lead a group of spies through the under passages of Redcliff castle and dispose of his guards. By the time he has realised what has happened it will be too late and we shall have a Tevinter Magister im our custody."
The plan was ambitious, risky even but it was most likely the only way to get to the mages. I was all for a plan that would avoid any templar interaction. Still...

"It would need to be quite a force of spies, Leliana... You think I can lead them?" I said uneasily.

She sighed good naturedly and put a hand on my shoulder. "You need to begin to trust in your own abilities, Lavellan. You are a remarkably capable leader, you have proven yourself time and time again, at the Conclave, the Crossroads and at Redcliff. My spies respect you, they realise your ability. You should too."
I could only nod, but I felt unworthy of her trust, of her people's trust. Everything I had done, at the conclave, redcliff even the crossroads, it was all just luck. Sheer luck and not an awful amount of skill or tactics. Eventually, I'd get something wrong and it would lead to death, if not mine, the people who relied on me... that thought petrified me.

"As you say, Leliana." I nodded, trying to put on a brave face.

She smiled again then, "Good, you must leave tonight in order to be at the Windmill tunnel by tomorrow evening. The Herald will make her way there soon. The tunnels themselves are not difficult to navigate, but you will need to ere on the side of caution, I am not sure of the size of Alexius' guard force. If you are swift and quiet, it should be an easy exercise." She explained further and even gave a me a crudely sketched map of the tunnels. True enough they were not complicated, but a lot of corners meant a lot of blind sights... perhaps I could use this to our advantage. Our blind sights meant their blind sights and, if I was swift and quiet and lead my people right, this may just go to plan.
I spent the afternoon studying the map. The tunnels split off in three directions from the windmill entrance on the first floor, there would likely be prisoners in the cells there, and guards. I'd split my force in three and sweep the the three cell blocks and reconvene at the door to the second floor. It was trickier. It was the kitchens and the parlours and the stores, all open spaces and very little corners. Hopefully however, there would not be a large guard presense there, mostly just staff. Even so, I would split my force in half, Grant would lead the seconds and sweep the scullery and Parlour on the left, I would sweep the stores and kitchen. Again like before we'd reconvene at the entrance to the third floor. It lead out to a courtyard which in my mind was a fish in a barrel situation waiting to happen... We couldn't just waltz out into a courtyard surrounded by walls of archers. Somehow we'd need up onto those walls. That somehow was alluding me much to my frustration. Unless there was a way to avoid the yard altogether, but I couldn't see any other way of getting to the main all and that's where we needed to get. No it couldn't be avoided, it would just leave more guards at the Heralds back.
I sighed and rubbed my eyes, the hour growing ever later and I knew at sundown I'd need to leave, plan or no. The only way I could see was to grapple the walls... I supposed it would have to do. It felt wrong however, this was all purely theoretical. I had no idea of the size of the forces, no idea if the staff were Tevene or Ferelden and truly, no idea if these maps were accurate.

"It's all we have, commander, better that than nothing." Grant said with an assuring nod. I myself however, was not very assured. The force of spies was large enough, around 25 of us and they had taken to calling me Spy Commander, which made me endlessly uncomfortable. I'd never even so much as seen a military force, never mind lead one. It's a hunting party, I told myself, A very large, twenty five person hunting party, that's all.
I explained the plan, taking any suggestions that they might have but they seemed to agree with all of it. That or they couldn't think of anything better. Leliana, Cassandra and the Herald came to see us off.

"You know the arrangements then?" Cassandra said, just about stopping herself from wringing her hands together.

"Yes, we do." I nodded and she seemed to calm then.

"I wish you luck, Spy commander and hope to meet you safely when you reach the main hall." Trevelyan said softly, "And to you all." She echoed to the rest of them, and they stood a little taller.

"Thank you, Herald." I said with a low bow. She smiled and looked to Cassandra before they both took their leave. Only Leliana stayed and she took a step closer, leaning in and talking softly out of ear shot of the Herald.

"You must show no mercy here, Lavellan. We cannot afford even one stray."

"I know." I replied.

She looked gravely at me, "You understand that Alexius may have replaced the castle staff with his own people, if they attempt to raise the guard-"

"I know what must be done, Leliana." I interupted her, feeling my heart climb back a step from the world as the words left my mouth. She nodded then. Nothing more needed to be said. She wished us all one final good luck before taking her leave. We didn't have mounts, they'd be too noticeable so we would make our way on foot through bush and forests, being a subtle as possible. No one could see us coming. I turned round a to look upon Haven one final time, when blue eyes caught mine. He didn't make any motion to move, only nodded and returned to his home. Perhaps it was his farewell. An acknowledgment of the fact that this mission was a blind risk.
Was it his goodbye?