I always manage to surpass myself in regards to my impulsive actions. In fact I am really quite surprised that I've made it as far as I have in life. Dorian was definitely right in that I really didn't like the Herald's idea of a plan. If I was impulsive then the Herald was just plain suicidal. I couldn't believe that anyone had let her go through with this "plan". It wasn't a plan, it was a barely formulated idea! What was she expecting to do?! Use herself as a distraction, drown the Templars and Haven in snow and hope for the best? She was our only salvation in this whole mess and she had willingly sacrificed herself.

"You all just stood there and let her go?" I bellowed at the advisers after Dorian had told me where to find them.

They stood there dumbly for a moment until Josephine spoke up, "With all due respect Lavellan, the Herald made a choice and we stand by her."

I, for a moment, was dumbfounded. "And what, you'll all huddle behind that mountain with your fingers crossed and hope that she manages to make it out alive?"

"Nevalla, we understand this is a difficult situation, but the Herald has acted and she has given us a chance. She has Cassandra, Varric and Blackwall with her, they will not let her come to harm. Have you so little faith in her?" Leliana said quietly, taking a cautious step towards me.

I shook my head, I couldn't understand how they were all so calm. Cullen however had yet to meet my eyes. "She's... She's just a girl!" I blurted out finally, an illogical concern overrode all other reasoning behind me wanting to bring her back. It wasn't just because she was the only way of shutting rifts... I cared about her. I would not see her hurt.

"She's right, we must bring her back." Cullen finally spoke up, his voice tight and strained. I nodded to him and he returned it with the slightest air of camaraderie.

"Cullen, we have agreed." Josephine said sternly.

"We agreed on nothing, the situation is desperate and in that desperation we made a rash decision. We have given this 'Elder One' exactly what he wants. We must bring her back to safety." He retorted, matching Josephine's tone. The two glared at each other for a moment before Leliana stepped in.

"Enough. It is too late now. The Herald is out there. She has bought us time and we are wasting it by arguing. We either flee now and use what opportunity she has given us, or squander it: return and lose the village and the Herald both."

I shook my head again and clenched my teeth, a lump forming in my throat and my frustration about to boil over. We couldn't just leave her out there to couldn't become just another martyr to her cause. With her death, the whole world becomes a martyr. Cullen looked away, his eyes burning with something other than anger. His jaw was tight and he blinked too quickly, it was the most flustered I ever remember seeing him. But he didn't raise his head, only turned sharply and stormed like a violent wind up the path to help his soldiers with the fleeing village. Josephine and Leliana shared one final look before following him. Josephine stopped however and turned to me, her expression leaden with guilt.

"I'm sorry Lavellen." was all she said before walking on.

The night settled on me then, the rumble of the distant army echoed over the hills and the cold night air burned and condensed in my lungs. A thin trail of torches snaked its way up the mountain side, away from the village- away from death. Some villagers cast glances back, forlorn, frightened... defeated. This was no victory. We were running with our tails between our legs while we let our only hope of saving throw herself into the fire. I could not stand by and watch it happen. I would not.

And just like that I was charging out of the chantry doors bow and quiver in hand. Dorian trailing behind me telling me to stay put.

"Nev, you're being a trifle rash, don't you think?" he said hurriedly, panting as he tried to keep up.

I closed the large doors and sighed, "I won't see her die Dorian. I have to make sure she survives this."

He shook his head and leaned in closer, his eyes narrowing in confusion, "And what makes you think she won't survive this? Haven't you seen enough bloody miracles to believes that..." he stopped himself and shook his head before meeting my eyes. "Might you dare to hope that this will all turn out fine? That she'll drag herself out from under all the rubble and dust and stand triumphantly over it all- just like a heroin out of Varric's stories."

His words touched me. They were precious, honest words that were said with such fragile earnestness that I was afraid to breathe for fear they'd shatter in the air where they were left.

"And there I was pegging you a cynic..." I said sadly, trying to smile, but I know it never reached my eyes. He knew it too. "I have to do this Dorian... without her, there is no hope." My words were soft, almost apologetic. But he knew the weight with which I said them and he stepped back again.

"I should not be allowing this." he said with a sigh, before placing his hands on my shoulders. "I'll see you on the other side, dear Nev. Promise me that much."

I nodded firmly and squeezed his left hand, "I promise you."

His moustache twitched up slightly and his eyes softened. They became unguarded, scared and he encompassed me in a hug. We said nothing more and I departed silently, stepping out into the village as silently as I could manage. As soon as I left that building, however, the world appeared... wrong again. Everything moved to slowly, my footsteps, the snowfall... Bodies littered the village, civilian and Templar alike. Blood seeped into the frosty ground and spread like wine stains across it, so dark against the snow it was almost black. I could have fallen into that abyssal pool, the one still fresh enough to spread out further. My head spun and I felt again too unreal, too light and airy. Like I was in the fade and that persistent bloody ringing in my ears had yet to subside. It was a weight in my head that I could not shift and then it was a lightness, a hole. It was something missing and that hole, that gap grew larger the closer I got to the sounds of the Herald fighting. The village was silent other than the distant marching of boots and clanging of swords. I had not seen any signs of red templar forces, and if I had I was in too much of a daze to realise. I had to make my way to the Herald, above all else, that was my goal. How I thought I'd convince her to come back, I did not know, but at least if I was there beside her then I could protect her.

All at once however, behind the ringing in my ears and the noise of battle, I heard the beating of powerful wings against the wind. I looked to my left as I passed the burning inn and there, thundering over the mountain side was that monstrous dragon. And it was heading straight towards me. I somewhat snapped out of my daze enough to force myself to run in the other direction and straight through Haven's gates, but I could not lose it. It circled above me like a vulture bellowing out it's fearful roar as it closed its wings and shot like an arrow towards me. I could do nothing but hold my breath and wait for the inevitable burn and sear of my flesh as the red hot ball of lyrium flame would hurtle towards me. I closed my eyes and felt the weight of certainty blanket itself over my shoulders. I have never felt such peace as the peace of knowing you were going to die. I tried to think about my life and wondered if it would flash before my eyes like they say, but nothing came. Just silence and a grey smoke behind my eyes. Was this death?

Then I felt a thundering vibration at my feet that threatened to knock me over and my eyes shot open, my senses again razor sharp and the ringing vanished. There before me stood the dragon, its large head level with mine and its red eyes baring into mine and what I saw there broke my heart. There was so much pain, hurt, fear. All fear of this creature vanished and was replaced by the utmost pity. It was all I could do to reach out and touch its nose. He leaned into my touch and let out a long heavy sight as his eyes shut. I felt it then, an aura and a presence about this creature. It was no arch demon, it was no vile creature concocted by the elder one to do his biding. It was a dragon. A dragon who had been cursed with the blight of red lyrium. And it broke my heart to see it in such pain.

"Ir abelas, lethalan..." I choked out, resting another hand under its chin and pulling myself closer to him. I felt his throat vibrate as he leaned in closer. I felt the connection then. I understood why the ringing in my ear stopped and why the weight in my head felt less so. Something in my heart told me this creature was kin to me. That these dragons were part of me. How dare this elder one treat one of my own with such cruelty. A voice in my head hissed and anger filled my blood. The dragon jolted away from me then, the hurt and pain in his eyes replaced by the lifeless red glow of the lyrium. I stumbled back and shook my head.

"No, dhalen, fight it!" I cried out but he stepped back again, shimmying his head as a horse would. "Please, ma dhalen, do not let him take you." I urged but it was no good. He let out a mighty and pained roar before taking flight, disappearing behind the the buildings of Haven and heading straight towards the herald. The tears were streaming down my face before I had time to realise.

Why had this dragon stopped, why had he let me speak with him and why, why in the name of Mythal did I feel a kindred connection to him? I had never felt this before. I had never felt any sort of connection to dragons. My clan did not hold them in high regard, I had thought them beasts to beware of and nothing more. Why then did I feel as though that dragon was of my people, as much as I would an elf? And the power I felt... the moment I touched its skin I felt its power flood through my veins. It was rich and heady and still rushed through me, tingling on every nerve. It filled the gap in my head and the world came back to me and I realised then, that this was what I was missing. This power was mine and somewhere I had lost it. When and why, I couldn't remember... but something told me I soon would. Cole's words echoed in my head along with my mother's...

The binds will break, you will remember.

Remember Nevalla.

Remember.

Never forget who's blood flows in your veins.