The morning brought with it a clear blue sky and a frost all over the keep. Bull and I shivered beside the fire we'd started in the main hall. Solas had earlier dismissed himself, saying that he needed to explore further. I hadn't really noticed, all thoughts were currently on avoiding frostbite. Bull seemed to be fairing worse. His shivering made the clattering of his spoon on his porridge bowl sound like a tiny irritating band procession. He blew on his steamy mouthful and scoffed it with a long satisfied sigh.

"Just what the healer ordered." He said through his food.

"Don't speak with your mouth full." I jibed and scoffed my bowl too. Silence feel over us again, only interrupted by the slurping and shivering and clattering of our breakfast. The fire was beginning to scare away most of the chill, and the porridge warmed my insides pleasantly enough that I could unfurl my cloak from my shoulders. I set aside my finished porridge and warmed my hands, admiring once again my bruises and cuts and smiling at their familiarity.

"The rest of the Inquisition shouldn't be too far behind now. They could make it here today." Bull said.

"You're speaking with your mouth full again." I smirked. He rolled his eyes and wiped his mouth, setting aside his bowl before leaning forward.

"I want you to know, whatever happens when they get here, you have me at your back."

I didn't quite know what to say, the gravity was completely unlike him. In all honesty, it stirred a slight panic in my gut. I hadn't really thought about what to expect when the Inquisition got here. Maybe Solas' plan had paid off and they'd welcome me back again with open arms. Thank You Nevalla, you're a hero! Blood magic? What Blood magic?... I didn't think it was likely. In the back of my mind I could see them accusing me of fleeing Chantry Justice. So what if I led them here? I'd used forbidden, dangerous and terrible magic. They'd either kick me out, arrest me or even worse... If I was in one of their circles, I'd be made a tranquil. A mindless little alchemist to follow the Heralds every whim. I tried to hide my shudder.

"You okay?"

"I take it it's no coincidence that you always have my back, Bull." I smiled.

He looked at me strangely, but then his usual dangerous smile returned with a wink, "I enjoy the view."

I giggled and punched him on the arm, "You're such a sleaze."

"Only for you, Nev. And the occasional red head. You know I like a red head." He said standing up and chucking his bowl in our pot of water. "Well, I'm going to check out that old tavern, might try tidy it up a bit. People could use a place to clear their heads when they get here." he headed towards the great doors at the end of the hall.

I nodded and scooped up one last mouthful of porridge.

"Speaking of," He called from the doors, "Might want to take a walk before they get here. You can sit there and pretend you're okay Nevalla, but I know nerves when I see them. If you don't want to talk about it, I get it, but don't make yourself crazy. Some cool air might do you good." And with that, he disappeared out into the light of the morning.

I chewed slowly and swallowed down the last, lumpy and tasteless mouthful. I'd much rather just deal with it when they got here but... What was my plan? I stood, wincing as I did as my leg was still tender, and made my way out onto the battlements. The cold air blasted me in the face and blew away my panic. In another gust I was firmly grounded in reality. I leaned my elbows on the crumbling stone walls and gazed out beyond.

The way I saw it, the most likely scenario was that I would be thanked for my efforts but in turn they would ask me to leave. It made a lump swell in my throat but I swallowed it down and blamed the welling tears on the wind. It was the reality of the situation. There was no way they would let me stay. I was a corrupting influence now, dangerous and unpredictable, and my leg had healed. There was nothing keeping me here now, not guilt, gratitude or friendship. The Herald would have to make a judgement and that was the fairest most lenient thing I could imagine. Perhaps I could still aid them in outside ways, like the smuggler rings do. Perhaps I could join the army in secret and help out that way. But in all my scenarios I played in my head, I could not abandon this cause, even if they demanded I do so. Something tied me to it. It was the only thing standing between the world and utter destruction, I had to help them. I would continue to do so in any way I could.

I took a long deep breath and shut my eyes. Yes, I'd made my decision. I would not abandon them.

"It is quite the view." His voice startled me and I spun round to face him. Solas stood behind me, his eyes fixed on the horizon, his hands folded behind his back.

"Breathtaking." I agreed.

His eyes flicked to me and he took a step forward, "Nevalla, you shouldn't worry. You have done well. It would be unjust for them to treat you with any malcontent."

I picked my finger and tongued at my piercing, "If..." I began, my voice thin, "If they should ask me to leave-"

"They will not."

"But if they do, Solas, I would like... to stay in contact. I want to still be in the loop. Not suggesting that you need to, but if you were so inclined as to send me the odd letter about things here, I'd appreciate it... Any information you could give, I'd make sure to put it to good use. I just, I can't abandon this. I have to see it through."

He looked at me then, really looked at me deeply. His brow rose sadly but the corner of his mouth quirked upwards. His eyes were soft and blue and clear as the morning. In another stride he braced me lightly on my shoulders.

"They will not abandon you, Nevalla." he said. I couldn't leave his eyes, they bore relentlessly into mine with something so powerful that I had to look away but I couldn't. I felt my mouth fall slowly agape and my stomach rising and every breath I took felt laboured and long. My lips were dry so I folded them over my tongue. It hardly helped, my mouth had went dry too. How long had we been standing like this?

"Thank you." I croaked out suddenly. Well it was either that or jump him then and there.

His nostrils flared but he smiled quickly. "You are welcome." and with that he took a step back, and another and another until he leaned against the other wall of the battlements. "It seems you haven't long to wait to hear their deliberations." he nodded to the horizon behind me, and true enough, the first tendrils of the Inquisition were snaking their way over the mountain side. Fear lurched up my throat but I steadied myself with another deep breath of cool air.

"Should I prepare a speech?" I joked.

Solas simply chuckled, "Let's hope not."

It was late afternoon by the time The Herald had arrived. Most of the Inquisition had come before them and had been putting in the hours, clearing debris and making the place almost presentable. I even heard talk of scaffolding being assembled. They were nothing if not efficient. I had been sitting on the steps watching everyone else busy themselves. I didn't see how I could have been much use and anyway, anyone I did approach avoided me like the plague. So I sat alone, watching as the courtyard turned golden in the sunset. The sky around us had just faded to pink when there she appeared through the gates, surrounded by Cullen, Leliana, Josephine and Cassandra. My back went poker straight with nerves and I tried in vain to steady them. I saw the Herald look about her, her face filling up with joy and hope that usually would have made me feel the same, but then her eyes met mine and it all vanished. Her face was disappointed, maybe even scared. I made no motion to move and sat where I was. I saw her whisper something to her advisers. Cullen nodded and called to his men whilst the other three looked on with worry. Great.

Cullen and two other soldiers marched up the steps towards me, still I didn't move and I wasn't sure whether out of stubbornness or fear.

"Restrain her." He said curtly. The soldier on the right produced a pair of chains.

"Cullen!" I heard Leliana shout. She bounded up the steps towards us. I said nothing, but I didn't hide my hiss of pain when I was hauled to my feet and spun around to be chained. I hissed out a curse as my leg throbbed with the sudden movement.

"This is too far. She has redeemed herself five times over, there is no need to treat her like a prisoner. See, her leg is still wounded." Leliana said as she pushed past the other soldier on the left. The irons on my writs were cold and heavy and they nipped my skin.

"These orders come directly from the Herald. She is to be restrained until her trial, then we will decide what should be done." Cullen said coldly, but then his eyes met mine, "The use of blood magic cannot be so easily forgotten."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. If I opened my mouth my voice would wobble and I'd be a pile of tears in no time. I had to be strong, I knew this would happen so I had to be strong.

"I will not see my agent treated like this. Unchain her." Leliana demanded. The two soldiers looked to each other and then to Cullen.

"It's fine." I said, my voice harder than I thought.

There was another kerfuffle of noise at the bottom of the steps and at the source of it was Blackwall.

"You can't go around treating her like this! It's a bloody disgrace!" He shouted, pushing past the soldiers in his way, I had to hide my smile in relief when I saw him. I wanted him to fight them all and free me and hug me and tell me that it was alright. That they'd forgive me and it would all go back to normal. But he couldn't and couldn't stop the tears welling in my eyes.

"It's fine, Blackwall." I called to him and he stopped, his frown disappearing when he saw my face, "I'll be alright." I nodded reassuringly. I saw him clench his teeth before nodding slowly and backing away.

"Take her to the dungeons-"

"This is ludicrous!" Leliana shouted.

Cullen continued, but not before shooting her a glare, "Take her to the dungeons to await trial. Thank you for cooperating, Lavellan." Before I was dragged away he gave me a look that almost spoke of regret. Almost.

I was lead down the dank lower corridors of Skyhold and down into the even danker dungeons. The cells were damp and cold and decaying. Rust clung in thick clumps to the iron bars and the only light was from the tiny cracks in the walls. I was lead to my cell and walked inside. It was probably the least rotten one here but even then, it wasn't what I'd call luxurious. The barred gate shut with a loud clang behind me and a torch was lit outside to give some semblance of light. Unfortunately however, it gave no warmth or comfort. It only revealed my very skeletal cellmate.

I shrieked and jumped away from it, the bones almost dust and the rags that it once wore thread bare and crumbling. The orange light of the torch made the shadows of the skull shift and change, almost as if it possessed shadowy eyeballs that were frantically looking about, wondering what it had been doing here all this time. I shrank down to the ground and drew up my knees and watched the poor skull in its confusion. The dungeons were silent and hollow. No one else was down here but me and the skeleton. It was then and only then did I let myself cry.

I can't quite recall when I fell asleep, probably somewhere in between all the tears and self-pity. I knew I was asleep, I was becoming more conscious of it these days,but I didn't dream of my ancient memories. I dreamt of the forest and green Aravels, and children running around and climbing trees, and Mahanon stirring his pot of stew and the Keeper reading one of her stories. It was my clan, my home. Perhaps it was the only true home I had because as I watched my family and friends go about their lives I felt as though half of me was missing.

"You must be quite homesick." I jumped and there again, stood Solas.

"Creators, you've got to stop doing that." I groused, walking further into the the camp, past Nehn and his smithy and towards the Halla pasture. It was a quieter part of the camp and quieter was what I wanted.

"So this is your clan?" Solas spoke again.

"Yes, it is and if you say one word against them I swear I'll slap you when I'm awake, I don't care if you're just a dream."

"On the contrary. This life looks quite idyllic." he said, as he watched the people around him. I hoisted myself up onto the fence of the makeshift pasture and watched him. There was something too solid about him, too real. Too Solas. Then I remembered how he always rambled on about the fade and travelling in dreams and then it struck me.

"Is this... is this really you?" I asked him, leaning forward to poke his face. He quickly swatted my hand away and I laughed. "Oh it is! How nice of you to drop by!"

"Only if you allow it." he said sternly, "Ask me to leave and I shall, I will not intrude."

"No, no... stay." I said quietly, almost not at all. He didn't say anything in return, he just nodded and watched my dream. Nothing particularly interesting was happening really, it was a normal day... it was happy and it was peaceful.

"You are not like most Dalish I have met." Solas said lowly.

I shrugged, "You've told me that before. Several times actually."

He turned to face me, questions burning on his lips, "Are there others like you, other Dalish? If they can raise someone like you have I misjudged them?"

I laughed at his eagerness, it was unlike him but then again, he was curious about most things. I levelled him with a look, "I would not be the person I am today without this clan. They may not have been my first family, but they were that. My family. And they raised me and treated me with kindness and taught me all of their knowledge. I would not change them for the world." His eyes softened as I finished, "So, to answer your final question, yes you have misjudged us. Whilst I know there will be clans out there who are ignorant and... standoffish, my clan are not. Many of the other clans I have met have been the same. They are my people, Solas, they will always be my people."

He was watching me now with a clenched jaw, his eyes deep and far away but I knew something was troubling him. His nostrils flared and he turned to walk away.

"Solas?" I called but he didn't stop, so I hopped off the fence and followed him. "Where are you going?" I cantered to catch up to him but he stopped suddenly and spun around. I was halted in my tracks because I was once again held captive to his gaze.

"You change everything..." he whispered. It was a confession. It was the deepest of his secrets laid bare to me and he knew it. We were so close, mere inches apart. I could feel his body, feel the heat of it and his breaths, I could feel them on my face. Like before my body stiffened and I felt as if I couldn't swallow but I did, my tongue once again came out to wet my lips. Before I could change my mind I stretched up on my toes and kissed him lightly on the lips. He didn't return it, but I felt him jump and heard his breath hitch. I pulled away almost immediately and felt like a fool. He breathed heavily, not saying anything and not looking at me. I looked to the ground, trying to hide the fearsome blush that had come over me. What a stupid bloody thing to do, Nev. I shook my head and sighed, my mouth trying to find an apology and failing.

We stood in silence, the noise and bustle of my clan fading away into that familiar grey fog and then it was just us. The only sound in the world was our breathing

I willed myself with all my might to wake up, so that this nightmare could end and I could go back to what it was. A barely held together friendship with one-sided sexual tension. Of course he would never feel that way about me, why did I ever think he would?

"I'm sorry... That was ill considered." I dared to look up at him and to my surprise, he met my gaze.

His mouth was somewhat open and he still took long slow breaths. Then his eyes fell to my lips and I felt myself melt all over again.

"Very ill considered." Was all he said, before he crashed his lips onto mine. I let out a shocked whimper before I closed my eyes and opened my mouth to his. His tongue came in eagerly as he deepened the kiss, pressing his body flush against mine. In return I flung my arms around his back and gripped at his clothes. His hands came away from my face and travelled determinedly down my body, stopping at my behind which he gripped tightly. I sighed into his mouth the noise breaking into a small moan. I pushed myself into him, clung to him tightly and longed for us to be closer. His hand ventured lower where he grabbed my thigh and hoisted it onto his waist. We still had not broken the kiss. It was then that a wall appeared at my back, or rather I was pushed against it. I pushed back and I could feel his length press hard into my groin. I had to break the kiss to gasp for air but his mouth only mouth to my neck which he bit, hard enough to make me gasp.

"Solas!" I hissed and I felt him freeze. I looked down in confusion as he shook his head against my chest.

"We shouldn't do this... Not here." He sighed, trying to gather his composure.

"Why? Because it's a dream?" I asked, he let me back down into my feet and he didn't meet my eyes. "Because it's not real?" I said more harshly.

"That is a matter for debate." He said, stepping back, "One probably better left for when you wake up."