I awoke in my cell without any idea of time or place. It could have been noon, it could have been midnight, but the dull orange glow of the dungeons kept me in limbo. My cell hadn't changed since I had slept, Skeleton still lounged lifelessly in the corner, the walls still crumbled and everything still stunk of damp moss. I sighed and rested my head on my knees. That dream...
"That fucking man..." I groaned. I still couldn't decide if it was truly him or not. It seemed, for all intents and purposes, to be exactly like Solas in every way. He had himself confirmed that it was him and that he didn't want to intrude on my dreams, but then could this all be one giant leap of imagination. Maybe everything was! Maybe the whole Mythal and ancient elf thing was just my mind playing tricks too!
"Maybe I'm just going mad." I mumbled to no one but the skeleton. I huffed and shook my head, "Yep, definitely going crazy. I mean, if it was really him, wouldn't he want to speak to me about it? It was one hell of a kiss..." I closed my eyes and remembered how his lips and tongue moved against my own and I sighed. The skeleton's head fell slightly to the left and I clicked my tongue, "Oh what would you know you old sack of bones. Maybe they just aren't allowing me visitors." His head fell again, "Well then why do you think he wouldn't come and see me?" I demanded. The head fell again, it wobbled unevenly and then fell away from the neck altogether, clattering to the stone floor. A little rat ran out of the eye socket and I shrieked and jumped up to my feet. It scarpered from my cell as fast as it could and I was once again left on my own. "Maybe they'll just leave me down here to rot like you." I said to the empty skull, my voice echoing through the hollow room. It bounced off the walls and back to me again, a solemn reminder of my loneliness.
I don't know how long a was kept down in those dungeons, but it must have been days. They sent my food and water every so often and I slept twice, my guess was three days. On the final day, I truly was starting to question my sanity. I had nothing for company but Sack-of-bones and the constant dripping of water. Oh, and the little rat had made two reappearances. Probably checking whether or not it could eat me yet, little bastard. Finally however, the doors to the dungeons were dragged open and light poured in from the top of the steps. I stood up and pressed my face to the bars, trying to get a good look. Two soldiers came down the steps, the same two that had put me in here in the first place. They were followed by Cullen. I felt my whole form relax with relief.
"Finally!" I shouted out to them, "You know what it's been like sitting here by myself for Creators know how long? I even named the fucking skeleton!" Cullen watched me with an exasperated look and folded his arms.
"I apologise for the wait but things have been busy. We organised this trial as quickly as we could, maker knows it's caused more than a little upset." He shook his head tiredly and signalled for the soldiers to open the gate.
I pouted and presented my wrists to be shackled, "I'm sure you've all missed me terribly." He arched his brow at me and tightened the irons on my wrist, "Ow!" I frowned but he simply rolled his eyes and lead me up the stairs. "Creators, it's been ever so boring without anyone to talk to. I told you I named the skeleton, didn't I? He's called Sack-of-bones. Thought it had a nice ring to it. I imagine he was a terrible criminal, to be left down there all on his own to rot. I'm sure he deserved it, he had that look about him. But then again I could be entirely misjudging the situation."
I was lead out of the dungeons and up the steps and into the now more tidied courtyard. "I like what you've done to the place. Oh, the tavern is open! Mythal's tits but I could use a drink after all this."
"Maker, don't you ever stop talking?" Cullen sighed.
"Well, I haven't been able to have a real conversation with anyone in three days, Commander, come on you owe me a little small talk. How have you been then, how has everyone been? They all coping, seeing as I haven't been here to clean up all their fucking messes?" I spat and it was then he stopped and turned around to face me. We stood at the bottom of the steps leading to the great hall and nerves bubbled in my gut. This was it.
"Nevalla, Your sacrifices have not been forgotten, you must know that." Cullen said, sincerely too. It was nice for him to finally recognise what I'd done for this cause... Maybe things would go in my favour. He continued to lead me up the steps towards the doors.
"You know, I think that's the first time you've called me by my name, Cullen." I smiled.
"Yes, well," he stuttered, "I wouldn't be expecting a bouquet of roses anytime soon."
I laughed, loudly and freely, "No of course not! Save them for your lady Herald." I winked as he opened the Grand wooden doors and smiled even more as he blushed.
The Great Hall was tidier than I'd last seen it too. No more rubble lining the floor, no more tattered or eerie ancient flags, even the chandelier had been removed. People lined the edges however, clustered together in little huddles groups. Some were workers, climbing down off their scaffolding to watch as I walked up the aisle. Others were clearly noble men and women. They wore extravagant gowns and puffed silk trousers and gossiped about me behind their china masks. The room held an oddly crowded warmth but even then, cold nerves tingled up my spine. At the head of the hall sat Evelyn on her strange chair, beside stood Josephine and Leliana. The latter nodded to me with a smile as I came closer. Cassandra stood with Blackwall at the doors of the under croft whilst Varric, Bull and Dorian stood on the other side of the hall. Varric hazarded a small wave and I smiled and tried to do the same, but my shackles restrained me. I was lead right to the steps of the throne when Cullen stopped and nodded to the Herald. She nodded back with a soft smile and I was left alone in the middle of the hall, all eyes staring at me. I cast a nervous glance behind me where I saw Lady Vivienne watching from the balcony and Sera standing half in, half out of a door way. But where was Solas?
"I present Nevalla of Clan Lavellan, spy of the Inquistion. She is being charged with the use of blood magic, a practice outlawed by the chantry for it's dangerous and violent nature. Have you anything to say in your defence, lavellan?" Josephine spoke. I was startled at the suddenness of her question. Was this it? Was this all the defense that I was entitled to?
"I, uh..." I fumbled for words, trying to think of what I could say that might persuade them to be kind. I wasn't going back in that cell, that was for damn sure. "I know what I did was wrong... For many of you it might seem unforgivable." I looked around the faces in the room once again, they were growing ever more distant. "Maybe it is unforgivable... But Herald, you know I would never do any harm to the cause. I used blood magic because I wanted to protect this cause, too protect you." I stepped forward and watched her face closely. It was sad... oh so endlessly sad and afraid. What were they doing to this poor girl, setting her on this throne to be judge, jury and executioner. She didn't want this, I knew she didn't. "I turned to forbidden magic in desperation because I saw it as the only way to protect you, and the way I see it, if you die then we're all buggered, aren't we?" I heard a few gasps behind me but I saw the tiniest quirk of her mouth. "I have done despicable, insane thoughtless things to protect this cause, Creators I probably will continue to do so, but I can promise you here and now Evelyn..." I met her eyes and held her gaze. I wanted her to know I meant it with all my heart. "I promise you, I will never turn to Blood Magic again, for as long as I live. Just let me keep helping you. I cannot abandon this yet"
Her eyes blinked too quickly and she ran a hand through her chestnut hair. She looked to Josephine, then to Leliana and Cullen and then back to me.
"It has been put upon me..." she began, "To be a judge of the people that harm this Inquisition." Silence fell about the room and I felt my heart sink and my lip begin to quiver. She paused, her eyes going distant as she thought about her deliberation. "I must judge these people with a level and unbiased opinion. No matter who they are. But you, Lavellan?" She stood from her throne and came down to meet me. "I cannot judge you, for not once since I've none you have you ever harmed or tarried our cause. Without you, I know we wouldn't stand here today. I have had streams of people outside my door protesting your imprisonment for days now and do you know what I realised? They love you. They all love you!" She smiled and held my shackled hands. "Dorian," She pointed to him in the corner, "Tortured me about your honest and desent character for two days . Varric, had petitions signed, Bull was threatening to call off our deal! All because there was a chance I might abandon you." She laughed and squeezed my fingers. "I believe you and I trust you, and I always know that you will do right by us all. I was trying to be a leader, I was trying to use my head but I know in my heart, leaders don't abandon the people who've fought hardest for them."
I felt a tear spill over onto my cheek and I rolled my eyes at my foolishness, "Stop you're making me blush." I laughed though it was to cover my sob. I was so relieved, so relieved and so happy to finally hear her say these things. She was a leader now. This was the leader that she could be. Just and honest and true to her people. She gave my hands one final squeeze before gesturing to Cullen. "Release her. She is free to do as she sees fit."
Cullen paced over with an almost shocked expression but did as he was bid and unlocked my chains. The iron clasps fell open and I flexed my wrists.
"Thank you..." I whispered to her but she shook her head.
"No, Thank you. For saving me. Again." she shrugged. I laughed lightly through my tears and pulled her into a hug.
"Well think about it this way, none of this would have happened if you just stayed in the cave like I bloody told you to."
She laughed into my hair and shook her head, "I know, I know. Please forgive me Nevalla... I will try to be better."
"You're forgiven," I said, pulling her back to look her in the face, "And thank you, again."
The people who came to watch the trial had filtered away, obviously disappointed with the resolution. I however couldn't be more relieved. As soon as the Herald excused herself I almost ran out of the great doors and out into the clean, crisp air of the evening. I loved the air here, I loved the wind. It made it fresh and alive and invigorating. I laughed and stuck out my arms, letting the cool wind blow through my fingers. I looked out to the courtyard below where the people worked on rebuilding Skyhold. They laughed and bantered easily as they worked, some on their breaks teasing the others that toiled. I cantered down the steps and did what I said I would do. You guessed it, I made my way to the tavern for that drink.
"A flagon of your finest ale, please!" I called to the bar keep. He held a straight expression and poured me a mug of the same stuff everyone was drinking. I gave him his coin with a smile and took a sip. It tasted like piss and water and salt and bunched up my face in disgust but shrugged and drank it anyway. This was a good day, and I wasn't going to let rotten ale ruin it.
"You're happy." Came a small voice. I jumped and almost spilled my drink.
"Creators!" I hissed and looked to my left where a young boy sat perched on a bar stool. It was the boy Cole. His big hat covered his face and he fidgeted restlessly. "Cole, isn't it?"
"Isn't it?" he replied slowly. I arched my brow and smiled.
"I am happy Cole, very happy."
"That's good... I like to see people smile."
He said nothing else, just sat and watched me. It unnerved me, so I took another coin out of my pocket and handed it to the bar keep.
"You should be old enough to have a drink, yes?" I said, pushing the mug towards him. He looked up from under his hat and peered into the ale. He jerked away suddenly, however, and held his nose.
"I don't need to drink."
"That's not really the point of alcohol, kid." I chuckled.
Suddenly a long arm stretched between us a moved the ale well out of Coles reach. I was confused but followed the arm to where my eyes met Solas. He was frowning. Oh joy.
"What Cole means is that he does not require sustenance." he said, giving the mug of ale to some passing drunkard.
"Oi! You're paying for that!" I called to the drunk but turning back to Solas asked, "What are you talking about?"
"Cole is a spirit, possessing the body of a mortal."
"I stop the hurt." was all the boy said, swinging his legs on the stool like a child. I didn't want to begin to try and understand what that meant. Was he human or spirit? Did Cole even know? He was in for one hell of an existential crisis if he didn't.
I arched my brow in confusion, "And you know this how? Oh let me guess!" I teased and took a sip of my drink. He simply folded his arms and lifted his chin.
"Did you sleep well? In your cell, I mean."
I choked on my mouthful and sputtered half of it back into the mug. Was he suggesting our little dalliance in fade tongue? I managed to swallow the rest of my drink and calm my choking enough to act aloof.
"Slept like a log." I said, "Nothing very exciting to report. I did name a skeleton though, have I told you about my skeleton?" Solas simply looked confused.
"Lips crashing together, open mouths, hot wet kisses that cannot part. His breathing heavier than mine, he wants me... It's hot and warm and tempting, kiss her and never stop-"
"Cole." Solas said sharply, cutting the boy off instantly. He vanished in a quiet puff of smoke and I was left sitting with Solas, my cheeks feeling as if two hot coals sat on each of them. Solas had not looked away from where Cole had been sitting and I took another long gulp of my drink.
"So..." I sighed, "It was really you."
He looked slowly back to me and nodded, "Yes. Forgive me, the kiss was..."
"Ill-considered?"
He smiled, "Yes... I should not have encouraged it."
"And what about, You change everything?" I asked, in my best Solas impression. He clenched his jaw and took Cole's seat.
"I meant it..." He said lowly and my heart stopped. My throat closed over and my stomach flipped. How did he manage to reduce me to a bumbling teenage girl?
"Oh." I said, barely. I wasn't even sure if the sound was audible above the noise of the tavern.
"I need time." he said, looking at his fidgeting hands so I reached out and set mine on top.
"Take all the time you need." I withdrew my hand and he met my eyes with a small smile.
"I'm glad to have you back with us."
I winked as I took one last gulp of my ale, "So am I, Solas, so am I.