Episode 4: Where did it all go wrong?
Amanda, since she was 9-years old, has always known that things weren't quite right in her mind. There was always this person that sounded just like her, but never acted like her. Some people would say that she's just the typical person who's not wrapped to tight, that needs to be in a psych ward. But she's been dealing with this for a long time to know that the person in her is real. The person in her mind would have more confidence and would be more outspoken than she is. She also knew that people would think that that's what she's fantasizing about being. But once again, that couldn't be farther from the truth.
Amanda met her alternate self when she was 9. In the early stages of being a 9-years old, she never seen her. In the middle of the year, was when she finally met her. To say she was shocked, was an understatement.
Show Amanda: "Hello amanda."
Amanda: "Who are you?"
Show Amanda: "That's a silly question. I'm you, but different!"
Amanda: "Are you the one that's been in my head?"
Show Amanda: "Mhm."
Amanda: "Why are you in my head."
Show Amanda: "Well, believe it or not, I run a show in you head. It has a boatload of people, and it's filled with lots of enjoyment."
Amanda: "Does that mean that you can hear my thoughts?"
Show Amanda: "No."
Amanda: "But how is that not possible, you're in my head."
Show Amanda: "I'm not connected to your thoughts; I'm only connected to the show. And I can also hear and see what you say and do in the outside world."
What show amanda didn't mention was that she can materialize into the real world. Which means she can exit amanda's head without her knowledge. But she can also choose when to make herself known.
Amanda: "Phew, for a second there, I thought you could be able to hear my thoughts."
Show Amanda *smirks* "What, afraid I'm going to hear your dirty thoughts."
(Remember, both amanda and show amanda are 9-years old)
Amanda: "Hey, I don't have dirty thoughts."
Show Amanda: "Oh, you will. When you grow up."
Avery: "Amanda, dinners ready."
Amanda: "Oh, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later.
Show Amanda: "Ok, bye."
Oh, if only Amanda saw the sinister smile that had graced itself upon show amanda's lips. Ever since then, she never talked to show amanda since that day. But that all changed when she saw her recently. She's never told her parents or even her friends about her other half. That just goes to show how deep she's fallen into the rabbit hole. All this time it took her 12 years to realize that something darker was taking place inside her head. She wishes she could've realized it sooner, but I guess life has a funny way of working out. Sometimes, she wonders what made her this way, other times she just brushes it away.
She should be happy, right?
She should stop drowning in her head, right?
She should look on the bright side, right?
She should just wait out the storm, right?
NO!
The truth is, she's scared. She's scared of her mind. She's scared of the endless possibilities. Before she was 9, she never had these problems. So why no-. She takes a deep breath then exhales.
She hates it
She hates that this feeling feels so good. She hates that something so wrong, can feel so right. The suspense, the confusion, the mystery, it all makes her feel good. But the storm can only last so long. So, the only option is to get rid of the very thing that makes her feel this sickeningly sweet emotion.
She couldn't help but chuckle as she sat on her couch. After all this, she only had one thing to say.
Where did it all go wrong?