The journey to Halamshiral was proving to be a long one. For starters, it was pelting rain the entire time and everyone was soaked, tired and hungry. I rode along close to the front with Dorian and Bull, both of which were whining about our current circumstances.

"I thought we were done with this trudging through the wilderness after the journey from Haven" Dorian sighed, pulling his cloak tighter about his face.

I smirked, "Just be thankful we have horses this time."

H scoffed, "Not that it helps much, this entire entourage moves slower than my great aunt and she's riddled with rheumatism."

I giggled and through my head back slightly so that the rain ran down my cheeks. It was that pleasant sort of rain that got warmer the closer we came to Orlais. I took in a deep breath and let it run down my face a moment longer before I heard Bull chuckle.

"What?"

He shrugged, "Nothing, just been a while since I've seen you like this."

I frowned, "Like what?"

"Happy, dear Nev. You've been so caught up in that hermit for so long we were beginning to think you'd lost yourself all together," Dorian said.

I was left speechless. Yes it was true, in that moment I had somewhat let my worries wash off but they were still there. I still wasn't sure what was happening to me, whether or not I would ever truly remember who I was or what happened in my past. I was still caught up in that hermit, probably a lot worse than I had been previously. I had the chance to walk away and move on. After our sparring match, the way he walked away brought finality, it was done. It might have been for him but it certainly wasn't for me. I still watched him as he rode on up ahead chatting quietly with Blackwall. I thought about our kiss in the fade, the way he held me. I thought about all of the conversations we used to have, the barbs and stupid arguments, all of which I took for granted. What I wouldn't give for him to arch his brow like he used to, that whisper of a challenge in the curl of his lip. It all seemed flat now. Stale.

"Nev?"

I startled back from my thoughts. The rain had stopped and the late sun was beginning to peak out from behind the clouds. It fanned out through the trees lining the Road. I noticed then that people were dismounting.

"We're stopping?" I asked dumbly.

"The horses need rest and we could all do with drying off. We're making camp here for tonight," said Bull as he unloaded his tent from the saddle.

I shook my head and dismounted, trying to bring myself back to reality. My legs ached from the long ride and I felt sweaty and unwashed.

"That's the first thing I'm doing when we get to Halamshiral," I said through my stretch.

"And what's that?" Dorian said from the stone he sat on.

"A nice long, hot bath, with nothing but my own thoughts to annoy me."

Dorian smiled in agreement and helped Bull unfold the tent. They paused and looked at it lain out on the ground, both of them adopting the pose of hands on hips.

"Do you have the poles?"

"No, I assumed you brought them?"

I left them to it with a smile on my face, I wanted to explore the perimeter further. Blame it on the Dalish instinct. Because the air was warmer up here, I through my damp cloak over a low sunlit branch and hoped it would dry out by the morning.

I took to meandering in and out of small groups setting up their tents, all of whom were having similar squabbles about tent poles and fire lighting. I came away from the road and walked up the verge and into the thin lining of trees. I heard running water and saw a few people further on up walking in its direction, buckets in hand. I followed the noise and came to a break in the trees. It was a small river, but not small enough to be a stream. It sank down and wound its way through the trees, the bends large enough that the little spot I had found was quite private, cut off from the rest of the world. The warm sun shone down in splatters through the canopy and little bugs flitted about like tiny flecks of gold on the breeze. I closed my eyes and listened to the hush of the water. There was nothing else but me and this brook. But the clean sound of the water running through on rocks was too enticing.

I opened my eyes once more and pulled off my foot wraps, then my overcoat, jerkin and bottoms. I kept on my under clothes because creators know who could've came lumbering into my little space.

I dipped my foot in and jerked it back with a gasp. It was cold, but bearable. With a deep breath, I ducked down into the water. I let out a yelp at the initial iciness but I soon grew used to it. It wasn't quite deep enough to swim in, only about waist high, but I crouched down so that it came up to my neck. It was exactly what I needed. I splashed it over my face and squinted up to the sun. I could have stayed there for hours, right until the moon was hanging over me. But I reminded myself of the reality. I good nights rest wouldn't go amiss and I needed to dry off. It wouldn't exactly do to arrive at the Winter Palace sniffling with a cold. I dunked my head under the cool water once more before standing up. I blinked my eyes open, wiping off the water than ran down over my face and made to fetch my over coat and clothes. Only... they were not where I had left them. A quick look up and down the bank and I realised that yes, my clothes had vanished. Up ahead I heard giggling and a small blonde figure disappearing into the trees.

"Sera!" I bellowed, marching out of the water to follow before she could make it back to the camp. Unfortunately, I was damp and cold with nothing on my feet and so was not the fastest. I watched from the tree line muttering curses as Sera skipped back to her tent, a wild grin on her face and my clothes underarm.

"Sera!" I called again through gritted teeth. She looked back but only laughed and ran faster. There was nothing else for it, she was hardly going to give them back by my asking nicely. So, I stuck out my chin and folded my arms around myself for some semblance of cover. My sodden undershirt wasn't exactly covering much. I took the first few steps down to the camp and that's when I heard the first jeers and whoops. I glared at anyone who so much as looked at me.

"Look what we have here!" one soldier called, as I came out onto the road. He made to move closer.

"Take one more step and I'll put your head through that tree," I hissed. He held up his hands and quietly returned to his fire. The rest were mainly laughing, a few whistles but nothing terrible. I suppose from an outside perspective this was a barrel of laughs... I was going to murder Sera.

Finally, I found her sitting at her fire, the picture of innocence watching as Varric stirred their soup. The latter tried to hide his snort of laughter.

"Sera," I hissed.

She mocked surprise when she turned around, "Lavellan, I didn't see you there! Maker you look a bit nippy!" This was followed by more laughter but my sense of humour was slowly failing.

"Give me back my things."

"Your things? What things?" she giggled.

"I'm in no mood for this. Give my clothes back or I'll cook you in your own soup."

She had one last giggle before holding her hands up, "Alright, alright. Just a laugh y'know? Everyone seemed a bit down in the dumps and you were the first to strip off." She reached into her tent and handed my back my pile of clothes, "Easiest target. I'm sure you'll get me back anyway."

I snatched them off her, "Oh, just you watch," I said before storming back to my tent where hopefully Dorian and Bull had a fire going. I was bloody freezing. I turned and gave Sera one more chastising glance but as I came out from behind Varric's tent, I managed to walk straight into someone. I lost my footing but his hands steadied me as I steadied him. I felt my face wash over with heat when I met his surprised eyes.

"Sorry!" I said, my voice at least three pitches higher than usual. It was when I bent down to pick up my clothes did I realise I'd dropped them in a puddle.

"The fault is mine I wasn't looking," Solas said after clearing his throat. He helped me gather up my clothes and shoved them into my arms.

"Thank you," I said, barely meeting his face but it was impossible not to notice the red blush on his cheeks.

"You're welcome," he said, clearing his throat once more before marching past me.

I shut my eyes and cringed. As if things were not bad enough, of course I had to bowl him over, half naked and soaked to the brim. I shook off the moment and made my way back to my spot, where Bull and Dorian did indeed have a fire going. They had also put up my tent. It was slightly askew but I crawled into it regardless. I sat with my knees to my chest and tried to forget the embarrassment that was rushing over my body. I couldn't let it get to me, I couldn't let it get to me. I kept repeating this over and over, trying to convince myself that it was nothing, a mere accident that would be forgotten by the morning. But then I saw the blush rise in his cheeks, watched his neck move as he cleared his throat and his eyes... They definitely looked longer than would seem appropriate.

I changed out of the damp under clothes and put on the spare jerkin and breeches that I brought with me. The damp and muddy over coat would have to dry by the fire. I reemerged from the tent, tying back my damp hair as I did to be met with Bull and Dorian watching me closely.

"Everything alright, Nev?"

I sat down with a huff, "Peachy."

"And now we know why we never leave our clothes unattended with Sera in the vicinity," Dorian smirked as he passed me a bowl of stew.

I bit my lip and tried to look serious. My snort of laughter won out.

I knew it was a dream. It had that surreal, there and not there feel that the memories didn't. I was aware of nothing else but the feeling of someones hips between mine and a pressure between my legs. Lips dragging down my neck to my collar bone and warm breath condensing there. Fingers digging into my thigh as they hoisted me up, closer, further in. And then a voice hissing my name.

I felt myself moan. The kisses became deeper, the pressure between my legs more so until I gasped, "I wish this was real!"

It stopped then, the surreal feeling vanished and I was left clutching on to a pair of freckled shoulders. He looked more surprised than I'd ever seen him. Both of us were frozen on the spot and I wondered why my dream had taken such a strange turn. But before I could do anything to continue it, he was a mess of motion, pulling away and muttering to himself.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please forgive me it was never my intention to-"

It was then, as he scrambled to pick up clothes that didn't quite exist, did the sinking thud of realisation hit me.

"Is that... Solas is that you." I whispered.

He stopped his flustering and opened his mouth for words that wouldn't come. I wanted to scream with the embarrassment. He said nothing else, but he looked exactly how I felt. Embarrassed and guilty, like he'd caught me watching him change.

I trailed my subconscious back to reality before I had time to stew anymore in that moment.

"Nev! Nev! Come on, wake up! It's almost time to leave!" Dorian's voice broke the spell and I was propelled back to reality. I saw the sun peaking through the gaps in my tent and I hauled myself into action. I poked my head out of my tent to see Bull and Dorian, packed up and ready.

"Creators, could you not have woke me earlier?" I flustered back inside my tent, pulling on my foot wraps and tying back my hair. I shoved the still damp clothes into my back pack and kicked the tent pole out with my foot. I unceremoniously scrambled out from the wreck, but it seemed the fasted way to go about it. It a flash I had my tent rolled and was strapping it on my horse, all the while Bull and Dorian stood chuckling.

"I don't think I've ever seen you move as fast as that, Nev. What has you so hot and bothered?" asked Dorian.

"Nothing!" I cried.

They merely looked at each other, and arched their brows. As they turned to mount their horses I rested my head against mine and cursed myself. What exactly happened last night, I wasn't sure. All I knew that one minute I was dreaming shagging the hermit, you know, the usual and the next... He was there. On top of me. Kissing me. Holding me. I felt my cheeks growing warm so I shook off the moment and pulled myself onto my horse.

I tried desperately not to think about what had happened or what it meant. It could mean any number of things. I mean it might not have been him at all! It could have been one big farce created in my own head to torture me! That was a far more comforting thought. I hated the idea that I had somehow... willed him into my own dreams about him. The idea that he knew how I felt about him unsettled me more than any because in my eyes he had made it abundantly clear that he didn't feel the same. Is that why he scrambled so quickly to be away from me?

"What have I told you about the crestfallen look, Nev?" Dorian whispered.

I turned to look at him as we rode. The wilderness was gradually disappearing behind us as cobbled roads and more buildings came into view.

"I'm fine!" I chirped but he didn't look convinced. Not one bit.

"I'd like to think I know you better than that by now."

I couldn't tell him the truth, Creators I didn't even want to admit the truth.

"I have... a bad feeling about this Winter Palace." It was not a lie.

He looked concerned but I didn't miss the gleam of hurt in his eyes. He did know me well, well enough to know that was not the true reason but also well enough not to push any further.

"It's quite a tricky one. But we'll get through it, we always have. We've been through tighter scrapes than this and come out the other side. Besides, what can few coin purses with fancy titles and frilly lace do to us?" he said. "Ah! and there it is, a smile."

I let myself laugh. Creators I was sick of feeling miserable. So I laughed and I kept laughing at Dorian's witty remarks and the nicknames he made up for each person we passed. He cheered me up, he always had that effect. But no matter how I tried to avoid it, I couldn't help my eyes roaming further up the road to where he was. I didn't miss the way he turned to look back when I laughed.