I know that some won't care for the way I retconned Gibbs within this fic. My personal feeling is if the writers hadn't been going for "moments", and shock affect, etc, the characters certainly could have faced up to some of their flaws with the dignity of caring, federal agents, and human beings, instead of giving them multiple personalities to cover past mistakes that made them look weak. Admitting to, and attempting to fix past wrongs is not weakness, it's just the opposite.
Once again, I'm basing any medical "knowledge" from what I can get from Google. As with every other medical procedure, everyone fares differently. I'm not exactly sure why I even decided to write about Tony in this situation. I just go with my muse, and post it.
When he finally came into consciousness, Tony wasn't sure whether to be deliriously happy to just be alive, or to wish that he wasn't. His throat hurt, his head hurt, his stomach was ready to spew, and he couldn't see a thing. A rather unmanly whimper emerged from his mouth, and he felt a roughened hand on his cheek. He hated to admit how much that gesture meant to him just then. Brain surgery or not, he hadn't forgotten the harsh treatment he'd gotten from his boss, and he couldn't shut off his hurt feelings anymore than Gibbs could when Cate had been killed in front of them. But for now, he needed that connection, however muddled it was at the moment.
"I just called for somebody. Calm down, or you'll make things worse."
Gibbs' voice was soft in volume, but no-nonsense in meaning. Tony sought to bring his panic under control, using calming breaths he'd learned in his plague recovery therapy.
"Gonna puke. S'not gonna…end well."
"Hey hon, good to see you're awake - "
"He's getting ready to hurl." Gibbs cut into her pleasant bedside manner indelicately, a little panicked himself at the consequences of Tony puking right now.
"Oh dear…" was all she said, but grabbed an emesis basin and efficiently propped it under her patient's chin while using the call button to bring backup.
Gibbs hurried around to the other side of the bed, rubbing his friend's back and helping him sit up. He squinched his eyes closed to the unpleasantness of it; it certainly wasn't the first time he'd seen Tony puke, but his own stomach had been roiling from stress and too much coffee. He couldn't imagine how his second was feeling at the moment.
"Oh God just shoot me…" Tony garbled out in between dry heaves. He'd had nothing in his gut to expel other than water and bile, which just made the experience suck all the more.
"Sorry, hon, no can do." she answered lightly, but Gibbs could see by her face that it was just as tough on her as it was on him to see her patient suffering through this. Another nurse hurried in, and seeing the unfolding situation, turned around and went back out with a "I'll get some Compazine for him."
When she decided Tony was done, she took the basin away and dumped it in the small bathroom toilet, then came back with a wet face cloth. Gibbs was helping the younger man lie back down, and she handed the cloth to him, knowing he would know what it was for. As he began to wipe the sweat and gunk from Tony's face, she checked i.v.s and monitors.
"I'll go get him some clean scrubs. Yvette should be back any minute with the Compazine to settle his stomach." She rubbed his arm sympathetically. "Not the best thing to go through right after surgery, is it, Agent DiNozzo? Don't fret, we'll get you situated in no time."
She breezed out, leaving a ragged patient being gently tended to by his boss.
"Gonna go rinse this out and start fresh."
Tony weakly grabbed at his wrist to stop him.
"Don't. Leave it. Need you… here in case I puke again."
Gibbs nodded and put down the washcloth.
"Ask if I can… have some water. Mouth is.. really nasty."
Gibbs was about to reach for the call button when the nurse who'd held the emesis basin returned with fresh scrubs and a small can of ginger ale with a plastic cup.
"Brought you some soda, Agent DiNozzo, but you'd probably like to rinse out your mouth first. There's paper cups in the bathroom over the sink. Agent Gibbs, would you mind helping me get Tony to the bathroom, he should start getting up and moving around, keep his lungs from getting wonky."
"Sure, let me know when you're ready."
Five minutes later, and with some good natured fussing from Tony, he was on his way to the little rest room, The nurse had administered his Compazine, and rolled the i.v. cart while Gibbs directed the younger man some half a dozen feet across the floor.
"You can go pee while you're in there, Agent DiNozzo, we won't be putting the catheter back in."
"Oh thank God." Tony mumbled. It was truly one of the worst things about being confined to a hospital bed. He leaned against the small sink once they were in the bathroom, his head still swimming from the surgery and being upright again.
"Take it slow, Tony, there's no rush." Gibbs stood guard patiently, back turned, while Tony kept one hand on the sink to steady himself while he used the toilet, then washed his hands and filled a cup to rinse the nastiness from his mouth.
A few minutes later they were back out to the bed, and the nurse and Gibbs helped Tony out of his barely there hospital gown and into soft cotton scrubs, then into fresh sheets that had been changed while he was using the bathroom. Someone had brought a couple of warmed blankets, and Gibbs helped the nurse spread them out over Tony and get him tucked in against the chill of post surgery. He closed his eyes and sighed in bliss as he dipped the cool ginger ale through a straw.
"Thanks, Boss, Joanne. That's… much better."
"Good. Your doctors have been notified that you're awake and mobile. They'll want to ask you a bunch of questions and run some tests when they get here, so be prepared."
"Ok, thanks." Tony sipped some more, feeling it starting to quell the nausea in his stomach, and the drugs in the i.v. calming his nerves. Gibbs stood by silently, letting him get settled for a minute before firing questions at him. As it was, Tony spoke first.
"So I… survived like Brad said I would. And I don't seem to… have any damage from it. Though I'm still half out of it, so it might be hard to tell right now…still pretty dizzy."
"Yeah, Ducky said you probably would be for a little while afterwards. They've got you on some light painkillers, and steroids for the swelling. Everything went really well, though, Tony. They're all really pleased with your outcome. Now all you have to do is get your strength and balance back with some p.t."
"Ughhh…I can't even…think about it right now."
"That's okay, Tony. Like I said. No hurry. Just relax and drink your soda."
"You call…Abby? That I'm…awake?"
"She knows. I talked the doctors into waiting until you were a little stronger for visitors. She means we'll, but…I know there's still some hard feelings towards her."
"She told me I was in… training, Gibbs! And she didn't stop telling me. Reminding me… every day that I wasn't…you. Like I…needed to be reminded…of that. I was doing the…damned best I could with what I had to work with, which was…two agents who both thought they could…do the job a hundred times better."
"I know, Tony. I heard about it. Heard a lot of things that went on. We'll work it out. If you need to not see any of us for a while, I'll let the nurses know "
"Not you - or Ducky - or Palmer. Just…I need to think about things, figure out if I even want to come back to the team, even if I can pass the evals."
Though Gibbs fought to hide it, Tony saw clearly the emotions that flitted across his face.
"Boss, things changed a helluva lot after you left - I mean, I know I can act like an ass on my best days, but - what I saw come to the surface from McGee and Ziva when I was seriously doing my job tells me that the dynamics of the team are never going to be the same, not unless we all do some serious soul searching.
"I've already started seeing a therapist that Ducky recommended, but I shouldn't have to be the only one to try to get my act together. We may have the highest solve rate in the agency, but we are as dysfunctional as any team can possibly get! Sooner or later that's gonna lead to something one, or all of us, will regret. And without going into detail about my sessions, I will flat out tell you that I take responsibility for my own role in our dysfunction. I haven't exactly always behaved as a professional federal agent."
Gibbs didn't hold back the grin at that.
"Hell, DiNozzo, you set this agency on its head when you clipped on that badge. But it's gotten results, and no one's fired you yet."
"And no one's really respected me yet. And that's on me. Somewhere in between the chucklehead jock and uber-serious agent, is an Anthony DiNozzo I haven't encountered yet. He's in here somewhere. Maybe while I'm figuring out what works in my brain after this surgery, and what doesn't, I'll come across him, and see if he fits on this team anymore. What anyone else does is out of my realm. I do know that I've gotta quit talking and rest. We can pick this up again tomorrow."
And with that, Tony shut his eyes, shut out Gibbs and promptly fell asleep, for once, exhausted from all of his talking. His boss chuckled, and patted his arm after drawing the thin blanket more closely around his agent and friend. Leave it to DiNozzo to still be able to surprise him by willingly admitting to seeing a shrink. Unfortunately, Gibbs didn't see his other two subordinates agreeing to any such thing, and knew there were rough waters ahead for all of them.