"Hey, Momma," Marlowe said, giving Juliet a hug as she walked in the door. Well, walked was a generous term. As she hit five months pregnant and her growing belly became more obvious each day, her easy walk was slowly becoming a quick waddle.
"Hi Marlowe," Juliet smiled, graciously accepting the hug and sitting down on the chair across from Carlton's bed.
"Hey partner," Lassiter said in his short, soft tone. "Demon spawn of partner," He said, giving a little smile and nodding to Juliet's stomach.
"Carlton!" Marlowe said quickly, shooting a look towards Lily who was laying on the edge of Carlton's bed on her stomach, two My Little Pony horses chasing each other around in her hands.
"Auntie Julie's having a baby!" Lily exclaimed, jumping off the bed and placing her hand carefully on Juliet's stomach. "Is the baby kicking Auntie Julie? I want to feel the baby kick!"
Juliet placed her hand on top of Lily's and pulled it over to the side of her stomach where she could feel the baby's feet jumping up and down.
"Do you feel it?" Juliet asked, watching the little girl jump and pull her hands away, her eyes open as wide as they could stretch in amazement.
"I feel it!" she giggled, running to give Marlowe's legs a hug. "Mommy I felt the demon spawn kick!"
"Carlton!" Marlowe said as Juliet laughed, dropping her head into her hands.
"What?" Carlton said, smiling proudly at his daughter. Juliet watched him, noticing how his soft face formed a smile more easily than it had. His lips weren't so droopy and even though his eyes looked softer than before, his cheeks were slowly starting to even out- at least they appeared to be with the beard that was slowly growing after weeks of being left unchecked.
"Lily," Marlowe said, crouching down and looking at her daughter straight in the eyes. "We do not call Shawn and Juliet's baby 'demon spawn,' okay? That's not very nice."
"But that's what Daddy calls it!" Lily said, sticking her lower lip out in a pout.
Marlowe turned to her husband to shoot him a disapproving look. "Well, both of you need to stop."
"Fine," Lassiter said, holding up his good hand defensively.
Juliet flicked the stiff brace that supported his weak foot and he winked at her. It almost felt like she had her old partner back. He was different, sure, but she could tell that her partner was still in there. Even if he couldn't walk and it took him longer to speak. Even if she had to talk slower and louder sometimes. He was in there, slowly but surely coming out.
Most days. Some days he seemed off. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, but she could tell something was bothering him. Sometimes she would be talking to him and his gaze would float off, like he was listening for something over her shoulder. And he never quite made eye contact with her anymore. According to Marlowe, he would occasionally wake up from naps in cold sweats, frantically looking around. Or he would wake up incessantly asking for Lily. And sometimes he seemed so exhausted that he would fall asleep mid-conversation.
But for the most part, he seemed to be getting better. With every visit to the hospital, Juliet could feel the weight of stress that had been suffocating her for the last two months slowly ease off as the threat of preparing for the worst became a nightmare of the past.
"I brought you a new hat," Juliet said, pulling a navy-blue beanie out of her purse with an SBPD patch on the front. "I found it at the mall, I figured it would be more fun than the plain gray one you have been wearing over that helmet."
"Thank you," he said, reaching out his hand. He ran his hand over his head to pull the old hat off the top of his helmet, which had become a constant accessory. With the soft dip in his hair, emphasizing the missing skull, the helmet was a precautionary tool so that he didn't accidentally damage his exposed brain.
He attempted to position the hat over his head, but with only one working hand was unable to pull one side down without the opposite side sliding up.
"I'll help you, Daddy," Lily said, climbing up on the bed and pulling the hat over his head. Before she did, she placed a quick kiss on Lassiter's temple, right at the tip of the large, c-shaped scar that snaked along the side of his forehead and disappeared under the helmet.
"Thank you, Lilypad," Carlton said, placing a kiss on her forehead.
Juliet felt her heart break for this little girl who had been through so much in the last six weeks and was taking it all like a champ. She had been so brave, waiting patiently for the day when she would be allowed to see her daddy again.
"Daddy!" a small voice screamed into the dead of night
Juliet bolted upright in bed, elbowing Shawn in the stomach on the way up.
"Are you okay?" Shawn asked, groggily rubbing his eyes.
"I think Lily just woke up," Juliet said, already at the door of their bedroom.
"Lily? Sweetie?" Juliet said, opening the door to the room Lily had been staying in. It had been about three weeks since Lassiter's stroke, and Lily was spending most nights with Shawn and Juliet, sleeping on a blowup mattress they had gotten for her.
"Auntie Julie?" Lily said, the small night light glimmering off the tears rolling down the little girl's cheeks.
"I'm right here, honey," Juliet said, crouching down to sit next to Lily on the air mattress. "It was just a dream. You're alright." Juliet wrapped her arms around Lily, stroking her back and making gentle humming noises to soothe her.
"Daddy was in his bed, and he had band-aids all over him and something stuck in his mouth and he couldn't breathe…" Lily recounted her dream, crying harder.
"It's okay, you're awake now," Juliet said, cursing Shawn and Gus under her breath for bringing Lily to the hospital in the first place. This wasn't the first night she had been woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of Lily screaming, and she imagined it wouldn't be the last.
What was worse was that even if she could promise Lily that it was just a dream and that it wasn't real, in some ways, they very much were. As Carlton continued to lay in a medically induced coma and the doctors continued to monitor every movement he made for any sign that he may, one day, come back from this, everyone he loved was stuck, haunted by his image, praying it wouldn't be the last image they had to hold onto of him.
"When is Daddy coming home?" Lily asked, tucking her curly brown hair into Juliet's shoulder and wiping her nose with her pajama sleeve. Juliet heard rustling in the hall and looked up, grateful to see Shawn had also gotten out of bed to help settle Lily back in.
"Your daddy is just taking some time to rest. That's what he needs right now- doctor's orders," Shawn cut in, sitting behind Juliet so she could relieve some of hers and Lily's weight onto his chest.
"But why can't he rest at home? That way I could take care of him." Lily's brown eyes were huge and full of sincerity. She just wanted to help. She didn't understand that it was so much worse than any of them had the heart to tell her.
"It's like Elsa," Shawn said after thinking for a moment, and it took everything Juliet had not to immediately start laughing, focusing more on quieting the flutter in her heart at the thought of what an amazing dad Shawn was going to make.
"Like Elsa?" Lily asked, skeptical.
"Yeah," Shawn said, excited by the connection, "she had to go to her ice castle to get fixed, right? And Anna just wanted her to come home, but she wasn't ready yet."
Juliet smiled, shocked at how well Shawn's analogy was actually coming together. She felt Lily nod in her lap as Shawn continued.
"So Elsa stayed at the ice castle getting better and stronger and everyone else goes on their own adventure without her. But they never stop thinking about her or loving her and pretty soon, Elsa is ready to come home again. Just like your Daddy will be."
"My daddy's like Elsa?" Lily asked, giggling at the thought.
"Oh absolutely," Shawn said. "Have you seen him? He's practically her twin! Long white hair and all."
"Lily giggled some more, "My daddy's Elsa!" She laughed as Juliet tucked her back into bed. "Auntie Julie, my daddy's Elsa!"
Juliet smiled and gave her a kiss on the forehead which was beginning to furrow, lines of forced maturity and worry crinkling her soft skin.
"I want my Elsa back." Lily cried softly, pulling the sheets right up under her chin.
"I know you do," Juliet whispered, carefully tucking the covers around Lily. "I do too."
"Can we pray for Daddy?" Lily asked, just barely still awake.
"I think that's a great idea," Juliet said, running her fingers across Lily's forehead to wipe the sweaty hair out of her eyes.
Lily crossed her hands at her chest and closed her eyes.
"Dear Jesus, please make Daddy better. Heal all his band-aids and his hurt brain so he can come home and play with me again because I miss him a lot. And please protect Auntie Julie because Daddy isn't there to fight the bad guys with her anymore. Amen."
Juliet tried to hold back her tears as she leaned over and kissed Lily on her head again. She sighed as she watched Lily's eyes flicker shut and let Shawn help her back to her feet. Before she could begin walking, she slumped tightly against Shawn's chest, letting him hold her tightly as silent tears escaped her eyes.
"He'll come back to you. It's Lassiter. He has to." Shawn whispered, quietly leading her back to bed and holding her tightly until she fell asleep too.
"Hello!" Sung a preppy woman with short white hair followed by the nurse. She walked into Carlton's room pushing a walker with a duffle bag swung around the handle. "I hear somebody's ready to stand up!"
Juliet looked up from the game of go-fish they had been playing on Carlton's bedside table.
"Today's the day?" Marlowe said, her eyes soft with joy for her husband.
"Today's the day, Mr. Lassiter," she said, walking over to Juliet and sticking out a confident hand. "The name's Carol. I'm Carlton's physical therapist."
The woman's energy was contagious, and Juliet watched her walk around the room, untangling lines and unplugging monitors. "I figured if you can stand up, you can turn and move to the chair. Does that sound good, Carlton?"
Pause.
"Yep."
"Lily, can you help your daddy stand up with me?" Carol asked Lily who was diligently watching the therapist work. Lily gave an eager nod and rushed over to the side of Carlton's bed, waiting for instructions. Juliet and Marlowe took a step back, watching the scene closely. Juliet laced her arm through Marlowe's elbow and rubbed her hand excitedly.
"This is good," Juliet whispered to Marlowe, who looked so full of fear and excitement. Juliet was unable to tell which emotion was winning.
"Alright, Carlton," Carol said when she was finally satisfied with the cords. "We are going to sit you up on the side of the bed first and just dangle for a minute. We don't want you to get light headed and fall over your first time out of bed!"
Oh my goodness, please don't fall. Juliet mentally willed Carlton from the side of the room.
She watched as Carol methodically held onto Carlton's shoulders, pulling his back off the damp sheets behind him. The nurse then eased his feet to the side of the bed and helped him turn so he was sitting up fully unsupported by the bed. Not that he could sit up on his own. His shoulders looked like they weighed a hundred pounds each by the way he slouched over against the side rail of the bed. He looked so weak he could barely support his head, and his gaze remained fixed on the ground in front of him. Juliet could see dark red lines cutting into her partner's arms and back and little pink cushions taped to his shoulder blades to protect his skin.
"So?" Carol asked, watching Carlton closely. From the corner of the room, Juliet and Marlowe watched him nod and gave Carol a thumbs up with his strong hand. "Amazing! Now we're going to put this gait belt around your waist so we can support you while you stand. Sound good?" She asked, holding up a thick black belt up for him to see.
Another nod.
"Alright, Carlton, on the count of three," Carol and the nurse held tightly onto the gait belt, bracing to lift him up to standing. "Care to count us down, Lily?"
"One! Two! Three!" Lily said, bouncing up and down next to her dad. Juliet smiled watching the little girl's eyes glow as she watched her daddy be pulled up to a standing position. "Yay, Daddy!" Lily yelled, jumping up and down enthusiastically. "Mommy, do you see Daddy? He's doing it, Mommy. Daddy can stand up again!"
She ran over to Juliet and Marlowe and hugged Marlowe's legs. "Do you see him, Mommy?"
"I do see him, baby," Marlowe said, picking up her daughter. Juliet saw the joy in Marlowe's eyes as she watched her husband stand up for the first time in nearly two months. She felt pride swelling up in her own chest as well.
"How do you feel?" Carol asked, pulling the walker closer so Carlton could support some of his own weight.
Juliet watched Carlton's mind processing. He looked down at his feet planted firmly on the floor then to the walker he was balanced on with his one hand. "I feel. Good." He said, a small grin forming on his cheeks.
He looked good too. Granted, he was still hunched over, his weight being heavily supported by Carol and the nurse, but at least he was upright. He had weight on his braced feet and air on his stiff back. The last time Juliet had watched her partner stand he had fallen to the floor and his whole world had come crashing down with him. But not today.
He was finally on the up-and-up. He was recovering. There was an "other side" to this nightmare, and she truly believed for the first time that he could make it through.
"Amazing, Carlton," Carol said, making adjustments to Carlton's gown. "Now let's rotate just a little bit and you can sit down in the chair."
Both Carol and the nurse held tightly onto the gait belt, then helped him rotate his body and carefully eased him down into the chair.
"You're out of bed!" Carol said, once Carlton was situated with a pillow supporting his limp arm. "How's the view from over here?"
"Different." He said, and Juliet could see some of the anger and frustration that had sunk permanently into deep lines on his forehead since he woke up begin to fade away.
"Let me take a picture!" Juliet said, pulling her phone out of her pocket and nudging Marlowe forward to stand next to Carlton. Carol helped position Lily on his lap and stood behind Juliet to make faces at them from over her shoulder.
"One, two, three!" She tapped on the screen to capture the moment. She tried to take another one but accidentally flicked the camera to video and began recording as Marlowe kissed the top of Carlton's head before he looked up at her and kissed her lips. Juliet smiled, tears prickling the corners of her eyes as she watched the moment unfold.
"Yucky!" Lily said, giggling and sticking her hand in between her parent's lips.
"Should I just kiss you instead?" Carlton asked, smiling through the monotone delivery of his words. He tilted down and kissed Lily on the top of her head.
Juliet tapped on her screen to stop recording the perfect moment.
The moment that Juliet really knew in her heart that somehow, someday, he was going to get better. He was going to get out of here and come home and everything would be alright. Her partner was going to be alright.