The movie came to a close twenty minutes ago, Rachel already off to her room to get some sleep but Gar and Jason are still in the living room with Sam asleep. Gar doesn't want to move her, he's never been a big fan of waking people up when they're asleep, especially when it's obvious they haven't slept very much. On top of that though, he's not sure if waking her up would scare her and then she'd burn him or something. So, he figures it might be best to just let her sleep. Jason volunteered to hang out with him for a little bit anyway.
Jason looks over and his eyes just land on Sam. She looks peaceful and kind of nice when she's not being a snarky bitch to him. Though, he does kind of give as good as he gets not that he'd ever admit that of course. And maybe he likes that she actually has a bit of fire in her words when she talks to him. Gar and Rachel normally brush off his mean and sarcastic comments and Dick can never be bothered. SAm though, she plays along and maybe he thinks it's a little fun.
"Why are you staring at her, dude? It's weird." Gar looks away from his phone to look at Jason.
Jason shakes his head, grabbing his own phone to scroll through Twitter. "I wasn't staring." He mutters, his cheeks turning a bright red.
"Yeah, you were." Gar insists. "Don't make it weird, she's nice and it's cool to have someone new around."
"I'm not making it fucking weird, man." Jason sighs before he looks back over, glancing between Gar and Sam. "You gonna go for it though?" Jason raises his brows with the question, choosing to deflect.
Gar's eyes narrow in disbelief. "I just said don't make it weird." Gar's voice goes up an octave with his words. "She's been here a day."
Jason chuckles more to himself than at Gar. "I'm just trying to figure out the rules. You're my friend and I don't wanna overstep, man." He has this grin that absolutely says he will overstep if not told otherwise.
Gar's forehead wrinkles with Jason's words and if it were anyone else, maybe he'd be surprised by how fast he wants this move but it's Jason. The same guy who uses 420 and 69 (or both together) as passcodes so Gar can't actually be too surprised. And Gar also knows that if he doesn't answer Jason, Jason is going to do what he wants. He's an asshole, sure, but he's not a half-bad friend, actually.
"I don't know." Gar shakes his head, almost rolling his eyes. "I haven't thought about it."
Jason hums. "So, I can go for it then? If I want?" Jason asks and then quickly follows up with more. "Not that I do, I'm just asking."
"Right." Gar deadpans and Sam isn't an article of clothing they're swapping because it's nice or something.
She is a living breathing human being who has the right to make her own decisions. Of course, Gar knows that's not what Jason is getting at during this or anything. He's asking if he can flirt or try to actually get with her if she's interested but it doesn't make Gar feel any better. Sam's been here a day and maybe Gar just wants her to settle in before Jason jumps down her throat about it. And, to be completely fair, Gar does think she's very pretty but he actually wants to take the time to get know her before he decides if he'd even be interested. He's just here having fun learning to be a Titan.
"Maybe we just let her come to us if she's interested." Gar proposes, a partial way to get Jason to drop it. "After, she actually gets settled."
"Hey," Jason defends himself, but his voice is still quieter than it normally is. "It's just a question, she seemed to be comfortable around you is all." Jason glances to Sam once more before going back to his phone. "Obviously."
"Can we drop this? She is right here." Gar slightly shifts in his seat, not enough to wake up Sam.
"She's asleep." Jason scoffs before looking back at Gar who just looks annoyed. "Alright, damn chill out. I'll leave her alone for a while."
Gar nods, not having anything else to add on the topic and Jason drops it. The boys go back to their phones and have some conversation here and there about Twitter threads and TikToks they find. Nothing substantial really comes from any of it but both of them enjoy the time. Gar actually likes hanging out with Jason like this, he hasn't had a best friend in a long time and this feels normal to him. Turning into a tiger usually makes him feel a little freakish, especially after spending so much time at Doom Manor where they were pretty much described as freaks. It was hurtful, he just wants to be normal and having movie nights with Jason and Rachel feels normal.
It doesn't matter how much trauma any of them have when there's a movie on and they're just hanging out. It's just them and when it's him and Jason, that's all there is. Normalcy. Even with Sam, a new girl, sleeping on him. In a way, it even feels a little comforting with her laying her head on him because he's not a scary tiger. He's just a boy.
After another half hour, Jason leaves Gar to head to the training room. Gar tried to convince him to go to bed but Jason doesn't listen to anyone so now it's just Gar and Sam. He's getting tired himself and he's heavily debating on waking her up so he can go in his own bed. But, the debate doesn't last long because suddenly, she shoots off of his shoulder, heaving for air. She sits forwards, eyes wide as Gar slightly jerks away from her as a reflex.
"Are...are you okay?" He asks, leaning back over and forward to get a look at her face.
Sam sucks in a breath, her chest heaving with every breath and her heart pounding. She barely even comprehends she's still in the living room when Gar asks her the question. All Sam can do is nod and try to breathe. This is really going to be her life now? Tortured in reality by a psychopath and now tortured in a dream state by the same fucking psychopath? How the fuck is that fair? She finally escaped only to be haunted by her dreams in a place she actually kind of, sort of, feels safe in.
"Nightmare?" Gar asks, not moving from his position.
Sam turns her head to the right to look over her shoulder back at Gar. "Y-yeah." She nods softly before looking forward, shaking her head. "Sorry."
Gar's brows furrow. "For what?"
"Uh..." No one's asked her what she's sorry for before. She's always supposed to be sorry for either getting angry or upset or having a smart-ass comment. There's always something she's supposed to apologize for. "Falling asleep, falling asleep on you..." She pauses. "Nightmare."
"You," Gar leans forward some more, a little closer to her to try and offer her comfort in the only way he knows how. "You don't have to be sorry for any of that. It's okay."
Sam glances over at him and the way he looks at her makes her feel like porcelain. Fragile and weak. It's not a feeling she likes very much. But his eyes are warm and kind, so kind that they makes her want to tell him her whole life story without ever coming up for a breath of fresh air. And it makes her feel warm.
"Do you wanna talk about it? Sometimes it helps." Gar offers with a welcoming but small smile.
Sam looks over to him again, her eyes dodging his this time. She can feel the flame in her belly flickering, it wants to go out so bad. It's been wanting to go out the last few months, the last few months she was held. At the beginning, it was a bonfire in her stomach. The second even a drop of gasoline were to land, it would all blow. But the gasoline never dripped or spilled. It sat in the corner and taunted her and the flame died down. And she's so tired of it.
She wants the fight back and maybe talking about it would help her feel better but she doesn't want to feel better. She wants to be pissed and angry and furious and she wants the fucking fire back so she can hunt the bastard down herself. But then she looks at Gar again and he's soft. It's like she's this tea light and he's a glass lamp over her. Not burning out the flame but keeping it going just enough to function.
"Um..." Sam pauses, leaning back against the couch. "It's just...uh...i-it's like I'm back there again." Sam admits. "A-and he-he's right there." She stutters while Gar watches. "J-just f-fucking taunting me, k-knowing I-I can't do anything. Fuck." Sam swallows hard, not even realizing she was practically holding her breath.
Gar turns in his spot so he can better face her, never moving away from her. "What happened?" Gar asks calmly. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Gar adds on, never wanting her to feel pressured about it.
Sam hangs her head, then shakes it. He's going to give her the look. The pitiful look she got when her mom died. It's the same look everyone always gives, she's guilty of giving the look, too but it makes her shift and it makes her feel uneasy. She gets it, feeling bad for people who experience trauma. It's natural but she doesn't find it comforting and maybe she would find it easier if he had something snarky to say. Make it easier with humor, it's what she does anyway.
"W-what's the worst thing you've heard someone go through?" Sam asks, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands.
Gar sighs, thinking about it but he didn't think very long before he starts talking, thinking maybe if she knows what he's seen and heard, it'll make her trust him enough to talk to him. "Rachel, probably." He answers honestly. "Her mom, who wasn't her real mom, was shot in front of her. Then, she was locked away," Gar says. "Only for a few hours but locked away for her powers." He adds in. "Then," He pauses and Sam's brows go up in surprise. "We found her real mom who convinced her to bring in her demon dad to save my life. He possessed all of our friends and then got them to almost beat me to death in front of her." Gar lists, reliving all of it in quick images. "Trigon," Sam's look at him quizzically. "Demon dad." Gar clarifies. "Killed her real mom and then Rachel killed him."
Sam sits there for a second and she really thought she had it bad. Of course, what she went through was still terrible but she does not want to play trauma Olympics with Rachel that's for damn sure. But, Rachel seems okay, weirdly enough. Sam isn't sure how long ago all of that was but Rachel does seem okay and even happy which gives Sam the one thing she hasn't had in months. Hope.
"Well...okay." Sam nods slowly, taking in the new information.
"Oh!" Gar says, remembering to add more. "We were also being chased by people who were trying to kill her because of her powers." Gar lets out a breath, his nonchalant add-in almost makes her laugh. What the fuck?
Sam blinks a few times. "I...I don't even know what to say to all of that."
"Yeah," Gar chuckles softly. "It was pretty crazy."
"No fucking shit." Sam laughs softly. "That's fucked up."
Gar nods. "Yeah, but she's okay now." Gar assures her.
"She seems to like it. This place help?" Sam's eyes glance to her hands and then back to Gar.
Gar nods once more. "Yeah," He shrugs a shoulder. "I think it does."
It's helped him a little bit. But, he doesn't think his trauma is worth talking about. It's not as bad as Rachel's or Sam's. It was a disease, sure his was different, but it was a disease and people get diseases all the time. Some people live and some people die because that's how it works. He turns into a green tiger but is that really trauma? In the grand scheme of the conversation? Gar doesn't really think so. So, he keeps the idea of the Tower and the people helping him cope to himself.
"I-it was just...hell." Sam sucks in a breath, deciding to tell him a little bit. "I was there for a while and this," Sam gestures over her face. "Was pretty normal." She chews the inside of her cheek. "I-I, uh, I-I thought he was gonna...kill me for a while." Sam swallows. "I think he wanted to."
"I'm sorry." Gar's brows knit together with sympathy and there's the look.
Sam can't handle the look, not from him. Clearly, he's seen and heard a lot but now maybe she doesn't want to burden him with her shit. He's been through his own and clearly knows Rachel's, she can only assume he knows some of Jason's shit, whatever it is. To Sam, Gar seems like the person everyone goes to with their problems and she doesn't want to stick that burden on him. Not with eyes as caring and gentle as his. It breaks her heart to even be sitting here telling him anything. So, she quits.
"Um..." She shakes her head "I'm sorry, I don't wanna talk about it." She shuts down and Gar just nods.
"It's okay." Gar assures her as Sam gets up from the couch.
"I'm...I'm gonna walk." She fakes a smile at him. "Clear my head. Thanks for letting me sleep, Gar."
"If you need to talk, you can talk to me." Gar stands up with her, worried he overstepped. "I didn't mean to-"
"No." Sam cuts him off quickly. "You didn't...it's not like that. I...just. It's so fucking fresh and you..." Sam sucks her teeth, brows furrowing together as if she's in pain. "You make me feel normal and I don't wanna ruin that." Sam diverts her eyes to the floor. "I'm sorry...thank you." She looks back up at him before turning on her heels and heading into the left hallway, disappearing into the shadows.
Gar watches her disappear, kicking himself. He thinks he made it worse. He's just trying to be there for her but he's slowly figuring out that that's not something she wants. Not in the talking about-it way, anyway. It's like she just wants to be distracted from it all which Gar can't blame her for. He can only really imagine what happened from his and Jason's little bit of research and what information she did give him. His heart aches for her but he'll never push her to tell him anything. Instead, he goes to his room but he leaves the door cracked just in case she changes her mind.
Sam finds herself wandering the halls until she reaches the training room. There she finds Jason back at the punching bag. She pulls out the phone Dick gave her earlier today and it's three in the morning. Suddenly, she feels even worse about falling asleep on Gar given how late it is. But, she chooses not to focus on the guilt in her stomach and instead on Jason. She stands in the doorway, confused why he would train at this hour. Is he insane?
"Do you ever stop training?" Sam asks, arms crossed as she's leaning against one of the sliding doors.
Jason jumps, spinning around quickly. "Fuck, how long have you been standing there?" Jason almost yells at her.
Sam snickers with a shrug. "Few seconds."
"What do you want?" He asks and he's as snarky as ever which makes Sam happy. It's like he treats her normally. Not that the others don't but she can tell it's like they're tip-toeing but Jason doesn't.
She walks in just a few feet, looking around before looking back at Jason. "Was just walking around."
"That's fucking weird."
Jason didn't expect to see her for the rest of the night. He kind of figured if Sam woke up, she'd just go to her room, not walk around. Or maybe, she'd be with Gar but she's here in the training room with him. And maybe despite the snarkiness, he wants her to stay. Maybe the comments will make her want to stay, for entertainment. Sam seems to like the challenge.
"You're the one punching a bag at three in the fucking morning. You're being weird, dude." Sam snarks with the raise of her brows and Jason deadpans before returning to the bag.
Sam watches him a little longer and this is her opportunity to ask him to help her. No one else is here and she can only assume Gar went to bed so it's just them. He's clearly dedicated so maybe he'll want to help anyway. If not, Sam figures she'll just hold the little bet over his head.
Sam closes the distance, walking over toward the punching bag. "You're so..."
"Charming?" Jason glances at her as he punches the bag. "Amazing?" He punches again. "Hot?" He flashes a cocky grin and Sam sighs.
"I was gonna say snippy, actually."
"You're fucking annoying you know that?" Jason snarks.
"Mmm." Sam clicks her tongue a grin pulling at her lips as she points a finger at him. "There it is."
"Seriously, what do you want?" Jason stops, facing her with annoyance.
"Train me, Dick said I'm not ready." Sam holds her head up, crossing her arms across her chest.
Jason pauses, the question catching him off guard. She doesn't actually look like she's in any condition to train, not that Jason really ever agrees with Dick. Bruce doesn't think he should be Robin but Jason knows he's ready to get back to it so in a way, Jason understands why she's asking. Feeling ready, but the adults want to think they know what's best. It's shitty. But Jason likes a good fight.
"What happened to you?" The snarkiness leaves his voice as he nods his head up at Sam and she's taken aback. Jason, not asking a snarky question? Now, that's weird.
"Why do you wanna know?" Sam's voice is level, eyes slightly narrowed.
Jason pauses. He's actually just curious. He knows his motive for wanting to train harder and better and faster than everyone else but what's hers? Unless hers is going after whoever did whatever it was to her. But now she has powers so she could just take them out with those. She doesn't need the combat, really. Jason just wants to know and maybe he has a little more stake in it. He does care about it, even though he acts like he doesn't. He's not completely heartless. Plus, maybe it'll give him bonus points.
"Curious." Jason shrugs, eyes glancing from her socks to her face.
"You just wanna see all the trauma?" Sam raises and Jason shrugs, his brows raising quickly as if to be saying 'why not' and his nonchalant attitude with the mix of snark gives Sam enough reason to challenge him a little but take the risk in having to spill. Sam takes a few steps toward him. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." Sam closes the small distance between them standing just an inch away from him. Jason's breath hitches in his throat for just a second as he looks down to her. The look in her eyes sends a shiver down his spine and he's ready to play the game.
"Asked you first." Jason doesn't move from his stance, instead he holds still, looking down at her with his eyes locked on hers and he sees a grin coming to her face.
"Alright," Sam takes one step back. "But don't make it all emotional or some shit." She plops down on the floor in front of him, sitting with her legs crossed, Jason taking a breath finally.
He said he wouldn't. He told Gar he'd leave her alone for a little while but what is he supposed to do when she initiates it? Jason is not gonna back down from that. And, he thinks it's fun. She plays the game and leans into the challenge instead of backing away. It's only when Jason goes to play, too that she switches it up like a game of cat and mouse. It's thrilling a little.
Jason chuckles but follows her lead. "You always sit on the floor?"
"You always in here?" Sam quips.
"Shut up." Jason shakes his head but a smile still tugs at his lips. "So, spill your guts."
"It's not getting that deep, bud." Sam scoffs but matches the smile.
This is what she was thinking when talking to Gar. Gar makes it feel vulnerable, talking about it. That's not how she wants to feel about it. She wants to feel strong and fiery. It's not Gar's fault, Sam can tell it's because he just really, truly cares and feels bad about whatever it is. But, Jason, it's like he cares but only out of curiosity not because he's trying to save her or help her.
"Mom was killed by the Joker," Sam starts, gauging Jason's face as she talks. "Dad's a meth addict, a great parental figure obviously." Sam says sarcastically. "Went into foster care, Jerry." Sam grimaces with his name and she tries to dodge the feeling of agony and fear when she says his name. "Was my foster dad if you can even call him that." Sam scoffs. "He wanted to make superhumans. He used me as a test subject, I think for himself to see if anything would work. I had so many things injected I lost count over the year. He kept me chained in a basement and because none of that was quite bad enough, the fucker decided to beat me, too when I didn't show signs of powers. He'd withhold food, all that shit. I survived mostly off of chicken noodle soup. He beat me so bad, I guess he thought I was dead and dumped in an alley and now I'm here." Sam keeps her voice nonchalant and steady, listing off her past like some recap of a sitcom.
Jason keeps his eyes on her and he doesn't know what to say. It's rare to get him speechless but here he is, without a single word in his head. How is he even supposed to respond to that? It just sounds terrible and horrifying.
"How long did he keep you like that?" He settles on the question, knowing talking about the events in Gotham is a sore spot for him.
"A year, I think. Lost track a bit." Sam answers with a shrug, silently begging him to have something snarky or sarcastic to say because now it's all too real and she wishes she could turn back the clock and not say anything.
"That's fucked up. He'd just experiment on you and fucked you up cause he could?" Jason asks as if not really believe what he's hearing. People are terrible
"Mhm." Sam hums.
"Fuck that guy, he's a piece of fucking shit, alright?" There's a fury in his voice this time and it makes Sam smile just a little bit. He's not sorry, he just thinks Jerry is a shitty person.
"No shit." Sam huffs.
"It worked though, he gave you powers. Why the fuck wouldn't you have used them?" Jason's expression changes to confusion. "I'm not blaming you." Jason defends his words, feeling like it might have come off a bit like victim blaming. "I'm just curious."
"I was afraid he'd kill me knowing that it worked. I...uh, I learned how to stay calm when he'd come at me so I pissed him off really bad a few days ago. The calmer I was, the more angry he'd get."
"You got him to do that to you on purpose?" Jason practically yells.
He's not sure what he expected, really. He kind of just thought it got too bad one day. It lead her to that alley. He didn't think Sam actually got someone to do that to her.
Sam nods, a feeling of shame taking over. "I couldn't escape any other way. I knew if I could piss him off really really bad, he'd come at me like never before. I could pretend like he killed me or put me into a coma, caused a massive brain bleed, ya know? Something, he went dump me somewhere. It was that or he was gonna kill anyway." Sam pauses. "Backfired a little, he did come back and I guess thought throwing a few more punches would wake me up."
"You just played dead the whole time?" There's a pain in Jason's voice and he thought this could turn into something of fun, quick-witted jokey conversation but he just feels like Sam kicked off a cliff.
"Oh, no, I was actually knocked unconscious most of the time while all of it was going on." Sam nods casually.
"Fuck." Jason lets out a breath before continuing. "That's kind of badass though." Jason states giving Sam a grin, Sam shaking her head and jerking backward in confusion. "You just took him beating the fuck outta you. That's fucking crazy."
Sam laughs softly. "Yeah, dude's got a hell of an arm and a kick, a-fucking-parently." Jason's brows raise as if to be asking for context. "Found more bruises when I showed today, got a nice boot print on my back." A scoff leaves the back of her throat.
"Fuck that guy, alright?" Jason says, growing angry at the conversation. Who does that someone for no reason? He kicks ass every night in Gotham as Robin but those people deserve it. What did Sam ever do to this guy who was supposed to protect her and keep her safe? It's not right. "He's a piece of shit and you didn't deserve that shit. I'll hunt the monster down for you if I have to."
Sam furrows her brows. "That's a kind offer."
"I'm fucking Robin!" Jason tosses his hands out, gesturing into his chest and outward again. "It's my job to hunt those dickweeds down!"
Sam lets out a genuine laugh. He is pretty funny actually and he's not the Robin that let the Joker kill her mom. Sam actually thinks Jason would kill the bad guys if he were allowed to. "Mhm." Sam hums. "Which is why you're the best Robin."
"You think so?" Jason asks, the joy in his voice makes Sam giggle. "I know I am but Dick and Bruce..." He pauses for a second. "They don't think so."
"Well, Dick and Bruce don't know shit." Sam holds her head up high, and she truly thinks Jason is the better Robin. She's seen the YouTube videos.
"Thanks." Jason offers a sincere smile. "That why you wanna train? Hunt him down yourself kind of deal?"
"Yeah, if I ever see the piece of shit I don't wanna give him the satisfaction of knowing it worked. I wanna beat the fuck with my bare fucking hands like he did to me." There it is, the fire Sam's been looking for. She wants to burn him at the stake with her hands. No one else, just her and him and she want to watch everything he worked for crash around him. She wants him to be bloody and bruised and beaten like she's been for a year.
"Good, he fucking deserves it. Dick will probably hunt him down if you tell him." Jason informs her. "He used to be a detective and he worked a lot of cases with shitty parents. I think he went out as Robin and kicked their asses."
Sam smiles. "Good, people who beat kids deserve what's coming." Sam laughs softly, stretching her legs out beside Jason's and leaning back on her hands. "Your turn."
Jason nods, pulling the leg furthest from Sam up so his foot is on the floor and his knee is bent while he leans back on his hands. "Dad was killed by Two-Face, mom's a smack addict, uncle drank himself to death." Jason rambles off as if it were nothing and Sam's eyes squint for just a second. She's nonchalant because it's easier that way. Is it easier for him to be like this, too? "Gotham, right?" Jason scoffs, looks down and away from Sam.
"Special kind of fucked up there." Sam says, not looking away from him. "I'm really sorry." Sam says, her heart aching for him, something she didn't really expect given their banter. "How'd you get here then?" She asks, instead of asking for details about those he lost knowing she doesn't like to talk about it and assuming he probably doesn't either.
"Caught stealing the hubcaps off the Batmobile." Jason chuckles, his cocky grin back on his face as he looks to Sam, clearly proud of himself. He expects her to be impressed with his courage to steal from Batman of all people. But that's not what her face is telling him.
Her eyes narrow and then she looks up before squeezing the bridge of her nose. "Hubcaps." Sam's voice is exasperated, eyes closed before looking back at him. "Fuck."
Jason laughs, knowing what the expression is now. "What? You robbing cars?" He shakes his head. "Nah, you gotta get the hubcaps, more likely to get money from that. Less likely to get caught, too."
"Fuck you. You got caught, too!" Sam glares at him.
"Because it was the fucking Batmobile." Jason tilts his head back with a laugh. "He didn't wanna press charges, instead, he took me in."
"Oh, to have been so lucky." Sam snarks with the roll of her eyes.
"Yeah..." Jason sucks in a breath. "Sorry."
"Nah," Sam scoffs with a smile. "I wish I would have been smart enough to rob the Batmobile!"
"Everyone says it was dumb." Jason scoffs.
Bruce said it was dumb, the cop said it was dumb, Dick, Gar, Alfred, everyone but every single one of them completely neglect the need to survive. Jason's been in and out of the system his entire life. He got lucky that he didn't end up like Sam in all of the time he was in the system. It was lucky. He lived on the streets, no job, no GED, no diploma, he had nothing. Stealing the hubcaps off cars was how he got money for food. The Batmobile? He knew he'd get more money for it. No one wants to talk about why he did it, just that it was "dumb".
"Well you got to move in with Batman and even if you succeeded, you would have gotten money. That's a win-win." Sam gives him a smile and a laugh because she really wishes she would have done it. She gets it, she's the one who gets it.
"What I said!" Jason defends.
"So, that it? Parents and guardians suck?" Sam pauses. "So...why're you here then? I think you're a great Robin, seems a bit weird you're here." Sam questions because she wants to know what he did. If stealing hubcaps wasn't Bruce's red flag, what was it?
Jason's face grows something sad and Sam's watching, not sure what he would be sad about. He seems so happy about being Robin. What is there to be sad about? Dick said Bruce wasn't the best, but was it that bad? Is the guy who dresses up as Batman every night actually a horrible person? Is it all just a show?
"He's making me take a break." Jason looks to the ground, his face settling somewhere between annoyed and sad.
Sam nods. "Ah, what'd ya do?"
"Well," Jason sighs, running a hand through his hair. "There was the joyrides in the Batmobile and then riding a motorcycle in the manor."
"I-you...I don't know what to unpack first. Batmobile or the motorcycle. Why? For both, I guess?" Sam questions.
Why would he risk that? Getting thrown back to the streets or worse? Sam runs the questions through her head but she doesn't need to ask him because she knows. It's what he does. It's what she does. She's asking Jason to go behind Dick's back, knowing that Dick doesn't have to let her stay. It's a risk and sometimes the risk is worth it. Maybe it's genetic, to be some sort of fuck up. Or, in this case, maybe it's just environmental.
Jason shrugs. "Seemed fun, I guess."
"You know what I think." Sam points a finger at him and Jason deadpans but gestures a hand out for her to proceed. "I think he doesn't give you enough attention."
"You a fucking shrink now?"
"Fuck no." Sam chortles. "Just an observation. Seems like you like a lot of attention."
"And why the fuck do you think that?"
"You're a smart-ass." Sam chuckles as if it should have been obvious. "The risks you take, the fact everyone has something to say about you tells me you intentionally start the shit so they do talk about you. Talking about you in any context is better than being forgotten." Sam explains and Jason just watches her growing annoyed. He thinks he's so hard to figure out but Sam has him pegged in five minutes.
"Fuck you." Jason huffs. He does not like being analyzed.
"No one wants to be forgotten." Sam's voice is quiet and the annoyance suddenly leaves Jason with her tone. She notices the way he looks at her, not with sympathy or pity but with a genuine understanding and she deflects. "And if you keep saying fuck you, I might take you up on it." Sam wiggles her brows at him and Jason's jaw opens slightly, feeling as if he's just gotten whiplash.
He can play this game. He won't let her get one over on him. This is Jason's game to play and win.
"Fuck. You." Jason taunts her, leaning forward slightly.
Sam thinks it's funny. She's just messing with him but the way he doesn't even bat an eye at it, it energizes her blood in every way. Talking and messing with Jason makes her feel so normal. He doesn't do that little dance thing that Gar does, where he's so worried about stepping on her feelings. Jason just blurts shit out and calls her bluff. It's fun.
"Tell me how you really feel." Sam challenges him.
Jason wants to go there because he doesn't think she'll commit to it. Maybe she'll pull away or laugh but he'll have won because he didn't back down first. It's like this silent game they're playing and Jason can't tell who the ringmaster is. He swears up and down it's him, but Sam takes the challenge and maybe he's a little worried she'll win.
She makes him feel...not useless right now. He has felt useless since being sent here. Dick didn't want him to stick around and help but he kept Rachel and Gar around. He couldn't stop Trigon, he never even stood a chance. But, with Sam, she doesn't know any of that shit. It's just them with no expectations of anything. It's them and their trauma bonding and this little game. He wants it to be a long game though, drag it out and see who wins then.
"I don't think you like attention." Jason states, Sam's brows furrowing and she didn't expect him to be the one to back down.
"What makes you say that?"
"You're awake when no one else is. You choose Gar to hang out with. I'm guessing you did a lot of the crime at night and not just because it was easier. It's Gotham, day crime is also pretty fucking easy. Guessing you haven't told anyone else what happened because you don't want them to look at you." Jason explains in the same way Sam did but this time, with a bit more bite in his voice.
Sam shakes her head, a smile tugging at her lips. Maybe she's also a bit transparent around him. "Mmm who's the wanna-be shrink now?"
"Fuck off." Jason chuckles. "Have you told anyone else? About what happened to you?"
Sam shakes her head. "No, uh..." She furrows her brows, shaking her head once more. "I almost told Gar but...he makes it...too..."
"Real?"
"Yeah and vulnerable. Dick's too serious about it and I haven't talked much to Rachel. You always have a smartass comment though. Makes it feel more like a joke. And...we have Gotham in common, ya know?"
Jason nods with understanding. He doesn't really like talking about any of it either. None of it really. It's why he always says it so nonchalantly. It's easier to brush it all off than boil in the feelings of sadness and regret. It'll eat him alive if he thinks too much about it.
"Yeah, you make it easier, too."
"Was that something nice you just said?"
"Shut the fuck up." Jason groans. He nods his head up at her quickly. "How bad are the bruises?" Sam raises one brow at him. "I'm not a complete fucking asshole, alright? I don't actually want you to get hurt."
He's thinking of caving. He gets her and she gets him. Jason doesn't have confidence about where this will go by any means but he's confident he can trust her. If it were Jason, he'd never fucking quit if he were told he couldn't train. He'd be training recklessly if he had to. Sam, at least had the brains to come and ask him for help. She's not dumb, she's desperate and Jason gets it. But he doesn't want to contribute to her injuries if they're that bad.
Sam thinks for a few seconds. They're not great. Most of them are a deep purple which means they're further away from healing but she has a few older ones that have turned yellow and green. She knows those aren't the ones him and Dick are concerned about. And she could lie to him, it's not like he's going to pin her down and check for himself. But that doesn't really feel right. Especially with him being nice to her and honest.
"What's your definition of bad?" Sam asks, just trying to see how well she needs to answer his question.
"Do they hurt?" Jason asks, not sure how to answer it.
"Well, yeah they're bruises."
"You know what I mean." Jason groans.
"Yeah, they hurt. Like walking kind of hurts and bending certain ways hurts."
"And you wanna fucking train and make it worse?"
"Do you ever rest? If you get hurt being Robin, do you rest or do you train?"
"Fine." Jason groans, knowing he's lost the battle. "But you know you're not gonna run into the guy this week, right? The tower is secure so you don't have shit to worry about."
Jason caves. Training helps him deal with the bullshit. It makes him feel like he has a purpose. Being Robin is the one thing he does really well and it makes him feel like he belongs somewhere, something he's never felt before. All the bullshit that happened before, it doesn't matter when he's Robin and when he's training. He wants to give that to Sam.
"I know but I wanna be prepared. I wasn't prepared last time." Sam answers honestly. She will never let anyone do that to her again.
"You're fucking crazy, ya know?" Jason chuckles softly.
"So are you, bud." Sam gets up. "Well, good talk. Lots of trauma bonding, but I'm gonna try to go tot bed." Sam opts to end the conversation just in case he changes his mind but she's a little disappointed. She does enjoy talking to him. Just like this.
Jason pauses for a second, looking up at her. She's a human person and they have similarities in their trauma. It's a little refreshing in a fucked up kind of way. No one else really gets it because it's different, having a parent actively abandon you is different than dying. In a way, Jason thinks it's worse. His mom picked drugs over him. He wasn't good enough to love, by his own mother, and the only one who'd actually get that here is Sam. But, he knows that she might also benefit from actually talking about it with someone who can offer some actual support about it. It helped a little when he talked to Gar about it once.
"You should talk to Gar." Jason says from the floor as Sam was on her way out.
"About?" Sam turns to look at him.
"What happened to you." Jason gets up from the floor.
"Why?" Sam thinks it's a bit weird to bring that up and now. They just said it's weird making it feel vulnerable and real.
Jason shrugs. "Might help, dealing with it." He sucks in a breath as if it's hard for him to even say. He hates talking about it but Gar will just listen. He's the one person Jason has actually had a heart-to-heart to about it.
"Afraid I might...break him." Sam laughs softly. "Ya know? Like he's already seen some bad shit and he is... unfathomably kind. I don't wanna ruin him."
Jason huffs but there's a smile peaking onto his face. "He looks at the ligature marks on your wrists whenever you're not tugging on your sleeves. Whatever he's imagining happened to you is always going to be worse than what actually happened." Jason says, his voice a bit flat and Sam can say this is a struggle for him to say and she wonders why.
"Like in horror movies. Choosing not to show the violence because what we imagine will always be scarier."
"Yeah, I'm just saying, he's a good listener if you just wanna be pissed about it." Jason chuckles. "He'll let you bitch about it."
Sam smiles at him and shakes her head. Everyone here wants to talk so much shit about him which hey, maybe he deserves usually. But, she sees through his bullshit because she does the same shit. It's not cold-hearted, it's a coping mechanism. A way to protect themselves from getting hurt again. She gets him, she gets it and it makes her happy because he gets her, too.
"You're not so bad, Jason Todd." There's a genuine sweetness to her eyes as she says it and Jason doesn't believe it.
"I am the best." He opens his arms, palms up, the arrogant smile beaming.
Sam rolls her eyes, feeling bubbles and butterflies in her stomach. "Yeah, sure, goodnight, Jason." Sam emphasizes his name as she turns to leave and it sends Jason's heart spinning.
"Goodnight, Sam." His voice is actually kind as he watches her leave.