A/N: Alright, here is another chapter. Hopefully tomorrow I will be just knocking this out and giving you guys the story that I envisioned from the start but only now am I able to put it into words. I hope this is way better than anything else I have worked on.

Please leave a thought, comment or a question!

Chapter 9: Care About it on Your Own

June 11th:

A few days later I am at the market shopping for breakfast for myself.

Tenzo has gone out on a mission with Saskue and Lee. A lot of the people are out on missions. But I don't think the rest of the group is out on missions. Shino and Hinata might be out, but I am not sure on that one. Since the war, missions have become less and less. A lot of missions have become rebuilding the world, and ninja's aren't forcing others out of missions. Tenzo is usually watching Orochimaru and his replacements come so he can change cloths.

Why is Saskue with him?

I look at fruits and pick bananas. I turn to pay the women behind the stand, getting ready to leave I see something that catches my eye.

It's a kunai that Lord Fourth would have used when he was alive. I look at it for a few moments and figure it is for Naruto to teleport around when he needs to, just like the stories about lord fourth. Lord Fourth would have been proud, from what I have heard about him from Lord Third.

It truly is amazing that Naruto has improved so much since he first started out. I know that he will be the Hokage, no one can really argue with anyone. By this point it is common knowledge. And eventually he will start watching over what I do. Kakashi is already messing with orders and making things harder for me to focus. Lord Third would have never allowed it. But I know Naruto won't let me live by myself, even if I am a tool for the village to use. No one should know about me.

I look around notice how many people around out. Right now missions are pretty easy and require maybe a squad. Though there are still a lot of threats to the world many bandits and rouges still happen, therefore civilians still need protection. Which is what most people do now, which sounds boring compared to before the war.

"Hey!" I hear someone yell behind me. I turn to see Sai and Neji walking up to me.

"Hello." I reply.

"Lady Tooru correct?" Neji politely tries to remember.

I nod. I have no idea what is going on. Normally people don't run up to me and say hi, usually only Tenzo does that.

They aren't even your friends.

"That is correct Lord Neji," I turn to Sai, "Lord Sai, how are you?"

"We wanted to know if you would like to hang out," Sai explains.

I am taken aback by Sai and Neji. Since when does anyone ask me to hang out with them? I look back and forth between them, thinking that they might be kidding. I mean this has to be a joke right? There is no way that someone would want to hang out with me just because I am working with one of their friends.

But I don't even know if I should be hanging around them. Kakashi made it very clear that I should only be friends with Kiba and Shikamaru, no one else. I have orders and this is not in my orders to be hanging around anyone else. I should go and talk with Kakashi about this after they leave.

I don't like the fact that I am being found at the market so often.

I shouldn't be around others. Kakashi's orders were very clear on who I can be friends with. I shouldn't, no, I can't be seen with them. This will get back to Kakashi.

I don't even know what to think. When I see they are not going to leave; I nod.

"Well, lead the way," Neji says after a pause.

"To where?" I ask, unsure about what they want to do.

"We should drop your things off correct?" Sai interjects.

I look down at my food and remember that I came to get food. I begin to walk with either of them on a side of me. Which I find strange. I feel like I am being closed in. I have no idea why this is happening.

We walk in silence for a few blocks, I don't know why they want to talk to me but I have a sinking feeling about it. But I usually have a bad feeling about everything, which helps me stay alert in most situations. But I don't think it will help here.

Something still feels off about the whole thing.

I remember that time I was at the park with Lord Third and Kakashi, they made sure I was the only one at the park while they discussed what to do with me. That was one of the first times I felt so alone. But then Choji and Shikamaru showed up with Shikamaru's father; as Lord Third grabs me to go. Only Kakashi stopped him and made Lord Third allowed Choji, Shikamaru and I play together. Only, it ended with me running to Kakashi scared and him taking me home. I glanced back to see Shikamaru and Choji wanting to play with me. It was shortly after Itachi had left the village.

I don't know why I am remembering this, but the feeling of being lonely comes back to me. The feeling of being alone is awful. I guess walking between the two is making me remember this. How I always had people watching me and making sure that everything is okay. Or just keeping everyone away from me.

"Well, Tooru, have you been well?" Sai asks bringing me out of the memory.

"Yes, very well. How are you Sai?" I need to be civil to the and not panic like the time at the park.

This is something that I need to be okay about. I will not be able to charm my way out, not like I have any charm at all. I feel the panic rising, something that has not happened since the day at the park. Emotions no longer come easy to me. Yet, why am I feeling this now? I shouldn't be acting like this. For all I know I am walking into a trap.

This isn't you.

I take a deep breath as Sai continues.

"Well, Ino is freaking out but she's so cute when she does," Sai gets a grin on his face, showing he does really care for Ino.

"What is Ino freaking out about this time Sai?" Neji speaks up.

"You know how we were at the bath house a few days ago?" Neji nods, "well something that the girls were talking about scared her. Only I am having to stay quiet about it since that is what my book say to do when you are in a relationship past six months."

I begin to giggle. Sai doesn't remember but I trained with he while he was in the foundation. Well, more of me sneaking into the foundation and him coming after me. Watching him now is funny, with all his books and trying to understand emotions are great.

Even though, I have no room to talk since I have no clue how to handle any emotions at all. Although I know what he is talking about, my mission. I guess it spooked the girls more than I thought. Which would mean that if this spreads, Kakashi won't be happy about this at all, which could mean punishment.

"Well, Tooru?" Neji is looking at me.

I tilt my head, confused. I got lost in thought again.

"Why did you giggle?" Sai looks a little hurt.

"I'm sorry Sai, I thought of something funny that someone once said to me." I reply.

Both guys look at each other, maybe a little confused about what is happening. I know I should maybe explain it more. But that would go against orders about keeping it out of sight. I cannot tell what would happen to me. Kakashi would be upset since peace would be destroyed that took so long to achieve.

I continue walking until I get to my door. Unlocking it I head inside and know that all of them, except Shikamaru, are sitting and waiting for me. I know I should have ignored them. They set me up. I don't have time for this.

I turn to Sai and Neji, "What is this?"

Neji sighs, "We need to ask you a few questions."

He pushes me to the living room and I see Naruto and Sakura standing up, while everyone else is sitting down. I look around I can feel myself becoming overwhelmed. Why are they all here?

Did I do something wrong? Is this because of…

I shake my head.

No, I need to focus. This could be important. I wait.

"What do you guys need to talk to me about?" I ask, addressing the whole group.

Ino stands up, a look of concern and as though she does not want to talk about what wrong. I see that Kiba is worried, more than normal. I don't know what is going on. I look at Naruto, he just stares at me.

I can feel a lot of… tension in the air. I don't understand why they are here. I swallow hard. I don't want to panic, I am scared about a lot of things.

"Tooru, do you know what's going on with Shikumaru?" Ino finally asks.

I snap my attention to her, "I can only assume and I hate assuming."

"I know," Kiba says from his seat, "He keeps isolating himself and not talking to us."

There is a moment, that's when it all becomes clear. Shikamaru doesn't know what to do. He saw something that he didn't want to see, or that he should have seen. The shadow figures, they… Shikamaru had a tie to the two of them. I don't know what it was though.

And training the other day together didn't help him at all. I should have broken the fight off earlier. I wanted to know, I don't get to fight that often.

"It's because he is scared," I mumble.

Everyone looks at me. I know that they won't understand, I know because I watched it. Normally, the person is inside, but this one, Shikamaru was placed outside. That is because he does not know what he wants, not fully.

"What do you mean?" Sakura swallows, maybe worried.

"There are a lot of factors playing into it," I state.

Factors of the mission. The mission that could make or break the village if we act fast enough. Something I am worried that I have slowed down in.

"Is it about the mission?" Naruto asks.

"Maybe that's part of it, but there might be other things." I look down at the ground, becoming lost in thought.

Would Shikamaru really do this? I mean, the shadow figure, who could that have been. I have been thinking about it, but I haven't been able to figure it out. I don't know enough about other people. I recognize people by their face, not by the outline of them. Shikamaru is isolating himself for a reason.

You knew this earlier.

Do they have a right to invade that though?

Maybe. They are his friends after all. But… am I also his friends? I don't know.

The figure though. It looks like something he wouldn't want to tell anyone else. The fact that I forced it out of him. And Shikamaru's reaction. He cried. He broke down, something that a ninja should never do. It was a sparring match, and I went too far.

There are too many things to know what caused Shikamaru to act this way.

Naruto comes up to me and puts his hand on my shoulder, "Do you know what these other things are?" I nod my head, "And you won't tell us will you?" I shake my head.

"Why the hell not!" Tenten explodes, "He's our friend. We were all there when he was the only one who became a chunin. We have always been there, like when his father died and Ino's father. What makes you so special that you magically know what he is feeling and know how to maybe fix it? Why won't he talk to us? Only-"

"Stop," I whisper making Tenten stop, "I only know because I watch people and we have to spend time together because of the mission. Therefore we end up talking when we cannot think up anything else to help us with the mission."

There is a long pause. I look at Tenten. I can see she is upset.

They shouldn't be listening to me. They really shouldn't be.

"I don't know the cause though." I answer.

"But why you?" Tenten growls.

I hold up my hands, "I have no idea alright? I was there. That's all. This was…"

I never finish. I trail off.

This was a mistake. I shouldn't have done this. I should have asked Kakashi more question, why is this happening. I thought that I could handle it, that they wouldn't even know who I was.

I was wrong.

Here they are in my house, upset at me for something I don't know how to fix.

"So then, are you going to try to help him?" Neji inquires after a moment.

I shake my head, "Right now he needs to be alone, tomorrow we are meeting up. Maybe I'll talk to him than."

I finally look up, everyone is glancing between each other and wondering if it is the right thing to do. They have never had to deal with this before; and I know that they are all worried for Shikamaru. They have known him for a long time. While I have not.

Personally, I actually feel worried about Shikamaru, but that does not matter. All that matters is that he can look at our mission clearly. If he cannot do that then I will have to ask Kakashi to allow someone else to come in and help me with everything going on.

Why should you care at all?

Ino looks at me, "We don't think we should leave him alone."

"He needs us right now," Naruto finally speaking up.

"Therefore we are going to talk to him," Neji gets up from his spot.

"Don't." I basically command.

"Why should we listen to you Tooru?" Sakura is angry.

I look at all of them. I don't know. I just said something. I should have just let them go to. Why am I saying anything?

Why do I care? I barely know any of them. This is unlike me.

"Would you want a huge group of people coming at you asking you if you're okay?" I ask, there is a pause about the group, "Exactly, he will become overwhelmed and therefore lash out on every on more than he is now. Let him cool off and in a few days then talk to him."

They look around at each other, not knowing what to do. I look at each of them. If they decide to talk to Shikamaru than it will end badly. I hope that they do not talk to him, then we can actually maybe get a good amount of time before any one should talk to him. Until then it will only be talking about what happens on the mission.

"No we need to speak with him," Ino states.

I look down. I shouldn't be arguing with them! I have other things that I need to worry about, not about Shikamaru and these guys feeling. No way should this be happening.

"But we want to talk to him about what the hell is going on with him." Neji states.

Neji turns around.

They all turn and walk out. Sakura giving me a look. Naruto looks at me with soft eyes. I don't see the rest. I turn away from them. I don't want to be dealing with this right now.

I watch as Choji is about to leave but turns back around and comes back in.

"Tooru, can I talk to you, just us?" Choji asks.

I motion for a chair for him to sit down. I don't know what he wants to talk to me about, but it must be something if he isn't talking to one of the others about it. In fact, he didn't talk the whole time.

I don't want them mad at me, but maybe I should just listen.

"I've known Shikamaru since we were kids. And I know he doesn't do this kind of thing. I was wondering if you know what really was going on…" Choji trails off.

Should I tell him?

What the heck is Shikamaru's problem? Why is he hanging on this person so hard? I want to help him only it is not my place. All I can do is try to get through this mission without Shikamaru exploding on me. I have no idea where to start.

If I tell Choji, would he even be able to help Shikamaru out? Would Shikamaru react the same way, just run away form him.

The shadow person though. I don't know who they are. If I knew that might help the situation that we are in now.

Maybe I should.

"Shikamaru and I trained the other day, and something happened." I mumble.

"What happened?" Choji questions.

I take in a shaky breath, "Well… Shikamaru got caught under a genjutsu that I placed on him. And what happened ended really badly, even if it was just training."

"What was it about? I need to know, please he won't even talk to me about it." Choji pleads.

"It was what he wants most in life, and I don't even know if he told you what he wants the most out of life…" I trial off.

Choji leans back and thinks about this. He looks at me. But I think he already knew what Shikamaru wanted from life the most. Choji knows things about Shikamaru.

Do I want to know?

I mentally shake my head. No, he is only helping you with this mission. Nothing else.

Did Kakashi give someone else permission to work on the mission with you? No….

"Temari." Choji states.

I simply nod my head. Shikamaru wants Temari in his life, more than a friend at that.

Temari.

Shikamaru saw Temari. But that doesn't explain what else he saw. Of the other shadow. But I don't even know if Choji would know about that. But… ugh.

Why is this so hard?

Why does Choji know that already? I mean if I remember correctly Choji is Shikamaru's best friend. Meaning Shikamaru and Choji have talked about life in a lot of ways.

"That's why he's so hurt." Choji says.

"Yes. He wants a family with her and to settle down. I saw all the flirtation he tried and never succeed at." I tell him.

"I see." Choji pauses, "Shikamaru didn't tell anyone else. And I can guess that Temari knows how he feels?"

I nod. I believe so, but I don't know if she feels the same way about him. Or if she does she is scared to tell anyone else that she has feelings for Shikamaru. Which isn't good for either of them. They should talk about this together.

Although, there is a lot I don't know. Maybe he has talked to her about it already. Maybe he doesn't want to bring it up with her again.

That still doesn't explain why he was outside of the dream. He should have been in it. Experiencing it as it was happening. He wasn't. Which is why it's so confusing to me to figure out. Shikamaru is confusing. All the signs point to him having a thing for Temari. So why wasn't he in the dream?

"That makes things… well, lets just that things are harder. Temari has feelings for someone but I don't know what else is going on. I mean Shikamaru has talked to me about you…" Choji stops, "But I can't tell you."

"Why not?" I ask.

"He asked me not to talk to you about it. He… he is working things out at the moment." Choji says.

Working things out? I don't know what that means. Is Shikamaru doing this to sort everything out? That seems really inefficient. I don't like how he is working on this, it is hindering the project.

"I believe that it can be worked on better, but I guess I should just let him bee." I state.

I know that I am letting myself go into a robotic state. I shouldn't care. This is his problem, not mine. I look down at the ground, not wanting to make anything worse.

Choji say thank you and leaves. Leaving me alone.

I still think Shikamaru and Temari should talk. If Shikamaru has feelings for Temari they should be able to work it out. That should be the option for both of them. Shikamaru needs to work this out and needs to talk to Temari about it.

I shake my head. This is a matter that does not concern me. I was only talking to them because they asked me. Shikamaru needs to sort out what is happening and get his head in the game. The group needs to be handled and Shikamaru is going to help me, I need him to help me.

I get up and head out the door. I need to talk with Kakashi. I have no one else to talk to about this.

I head to the office and knock.

"Come in," is all I hear.

I walk in and see Sakura and Ino in the room. They both look at me. I turn my focus to Kakashi. I need to talk to him, not them. Kakashi and I lock eyes.

"Tooru wait there for one minute." Kakashi turns his focus back to the girls.

"Wait? Why does she get to stay?" Sakura asks.

"I believe this is good for her to hear as well. It affects a mission she is working on, and a new order that will be given by me." Kakashi states.

I keeps my expression even. Kakashi… giving me new orders? Why would he do this. In all this time he barely has given me an order to follow.

Kakashi rarely gives you orders… why so many now?

"Go on," Kakashi tells them.

"He hasn't acted this way, he started when he began working on this mission," Ino says.

"And as a medical ninja I believe he needs to take a break," Sakura continues.

Kakashi nods, "Sadly, I cannot do that. You have been having too many easy missions. Shikamaru is specialized in this thing."

"But" Sakura begins.

"No," Kakashi cuts her off, "This is something that must happen."

Both girls look at each other than look back at me. I keep looking forward. I don't have time for this.

But they are here about Shikamaru. Aren't I here for the same thing?

"You are dismissed Sakura and Ino," Kakashi says.

They leave and I close the door after them. I look down and away from Kakashi. I don't want to be here now. I shouldn't even be worrying about something like this.

"Tooru, look at me," Kakashi says.

I raise my head and look at Kakashi.

"Speak," Kakashi commands.

"I was worried about Shikamaru…" I begin.

Kakashi slams his hand on the table. I keep a straight face. I know that I need to not show fear. But… I don't know. Something is off about me.

"Again with Shikamaru?! Leave Shikamaru alone. Let him work on it by himself." Kakashi raises his voice.

I nod.

That is an order. No hanging out with Shikamaru, everything has to be professional.

Kakashi sits back down, and I can feel the want to say something but I can't. Once he said to leave Shikamaru alone I must leave him alone. Even if I had something I was worried about I can no longer voice it.

"Understood," I say.

I bow and leave the room. I walk home and decide that working on the plan is the best option.

Kakashi is never violent. Why is he doing it now? Maybe he believes, no he can't be the real Kakashi.