A/N: Here is a new chapter! Well... updated at least. I am a fourth of the way done at this point. Don't worry I've got this. I mean I have to stop at a point today and last night I crashed. But I will try to work on it tonight before bed and all day tomorrow my goal is to get to chapter 30 at least. I don't think it's too far fetch for me to get there right? Hehe.

Anyway, leave a comment, thought or question! I want to hear from you guys!

Chapter 10: Figure it Out

June 15th:

A few days later I get up and go into the kitchen. It's been days, and Kakashi hasn't retreated his order. Though I have not seen him. Shikamaru left a note saying he needed a few days, and I was told to leave him alone. Orders are orders. Nothing can change that. Shikamaru said that today or tomorrow will be a good time. I kept working though on my own.

I know that I need to start having protection if I have to run away from them. And I know how to. I figured that smoke screens should be good protection for me. Even those with good noses won't find me. It is something that Lord Third taught me.

After making breakfast I go back into the market to get things for the smoke screen. I walk around and look at specialty shops for what I need for my journey. I begin to look at the shades of smoke types and debate about what one I should use to mix with the scent neutralizer that I have in mind. Maybe a darker one, my normal mission wardrobe is pretty dark so I can vanish within shadows and the darkness. That would be best, especially if I have a tracker following me, putting my scent all over the place would help me a lot, especially with the low chakra out put that I have.

"Oh, nice choice!" The shopkeeper comes up behind me.

"It will work with what I have in mind. Do you happen to have any skunk scent neutralizer in your shop?" I ask.

"Hmm, let me check in the back," He goes to the back to maybe find one of them.

I continue to look at the smoke screens.

I should make sure I make it back to my house before the planning meeting. Shikamaru finally wants to meet with me about the group. I should be able to catch him up with what he has missed over the last few days, which still means that Shikamaru is behind in planning. Go over plans, just to find holes and to be sure everything should go smoothly. This will help.

I pick up the dark smoke screen and move on to adhesive to bind the two things. A weaker one so they can clear in different ways causing a disillusion of which way I might have gone. That might be the best option for me right now. But the shop keeper is giving off a weird vibe. Maybe I should keep a closer eye on him like the fish person from a few weeks ago.

I am a jumpy person I guess. But hey, you never can be too safe right?

"Well, you are in luck. I have a few in stock, here are about three," the shopkeeper says behind me again.

"Thank you," I reply and pay for everything to leave.

I walk down the market street and see people talking about small things. I can see that everybody has had a good day so far.

I catch a few lines of conversation.

I wish there was more to do

I just found the best gift!

I heard he won't talk to anyone.

Thank you for the fruit!

No Shikamaru would never ignore them.

I heard he asked someone out on a date!

Who?

Shikamaru!

I pause to listen to this conversation.

"No way. Who did he ask out?" A woman asks.

"The girl that deals with the records for ninja." The other replies.

I walk away. So that's why he isn't coming to meetings.

Right now, everything is jumbled up. I am still worried about Shikumaru, and I need to maybe ask him what's wrong with him. No, I shouldn't. It is not my place to ask, we are only comrades for this mission. The only reason he knows everything is because of lord sixth.

An ANBU member appears in front of me.

"Lord Sixth wishes to see you now." They say before vanishing.

I turn around and head to Kakashi. I let my mind go blank so I can focus.

I feel like a robot again.

I can feel myself slipping into the dark hole again. Should I go back into the hole again?

You never left.

I open the door to Kakashi's office. I bow to him.

"Tooru," Kakashi begins, "I gave you an order by accident."

"I believe you had cause for it." I answer.

Kakashi pitches the bridge of his nose. I know that he is frustrated by this. I think everything with Shikamaru was blown up too much. I can see that now. Everything that has happened over the last few weeks should have never happened, this much is true. I see that I am unfit to be a part of anyone's lives because of the way I have been acting around others.

"I have an order for you," Kakashi states.

I stand still, how I must always stand when receiving orders from the Hokage.

"Figure out what is going on with Shikamaru." Kakashi commands.

"Yes I will." I answer.

"Also," Kakashi begins, "I want you to become friends with Shikamru's friends."

I nod. I leave the office.

I can care. But I know I shouldn't. I think Shikamaru has it figured out. From talk around the Market earlier. Besides, I think he has a date with that weird girl in the records today before our planning meeting.

This all shouldn't matter.

As the person that I am, I don't care about these things. I only should care about the protection of the village. That is what I am trained to do.

I'll let the others worry about it. It shouldn't be my place. Besides, they are right. I barely meet him, they should know more about him than me. Only Choji seems to know way more about Shikamaru than anyone.

I sigh and turn into the yard of my house.

I open the door to my house and feel as though someone is here. I examine the shoes and know that they are not Tenzo's shoes, but someone else.

I silently go through the house and try to see who is in my house. I go into the living room and see no one is in there but there is a foot print in the light layer of dust I placed. I cannot tell who's foot is it. Slowly I walk over to the kitchen and turn the corner to see a shadow.

I crouch down and enter, I don't think that they noticed me yet. I need to get them out of my house or at the very least figure out who they are. I get down and make my chakra output as small as I can. I spring up and jump in their back.

"Tooru stop!" The person says.

I jump off to see that it's Shikumaru. "What the hell Shikumaru! How did you even get in to the house?"

"The front door was unlocked and you said to just come in. Where were you at?" Shikumaru seems anxious.

Since when do I leave the front door unlocked when I'm not home?

I don't understand why he is here though, "I heard you had a date today with someone, that's why I wasn't here."

Shikamaru looks shocked by this. I know that people talk but normally they don't talk about the ninja in the village.

Lies…

Shikamaru shakes his head, "I cancelled on her, and something didn't feel right about the date. But you didn't answer my question of where were you?"

I tilt my head in confusion. Why would anyone even want to date? Arrange marriages seem so much better and less troublesome. The fact the Shikamaru is even willing to go on dates with people bugs me to no end since there is really nothing good to come out of it. Shikamaru is looking around like something might pop out at him any second. I sigh.

I look at him concerned, "I was getting a few things as a precaution for my mission in about a week. Than Kakashi wished to speak with me. I thought we agreed later on tonight since you were busy with other arrangements."

"I guess I was a little early. Can we start now though?" he asks.

I nod and lead him into the living room.

I am annoyed with him though. Why they hell would he even think about coming into my house and waiting for me instead of the steps? Maybe having emotions is more troublesome than I thought. I want to just focus on the mission and go back to being alone with everything that is going on.

We sit down and don't talk for a few minutes. I don't understand any of this, but then again, do I really want to understand what is going on? Relationships are a small thing in my life and even now they are not at the top of my list. Relationship should never be at the top of my list.

I avoid eye contact as I begin to make my smoke screen. I have to tie them together with an adhesive so that way I can get away.

"What is that for?" Shikumaru breaks the silence and I look up to see him looking at me, as though he had been for a long time.

"It's a smoke screen so when I go to spy I can get away should something go wrong. It's only a precaution." I explain, maybe colder than I thought.

"What makes you think something will happen?" Shikumaru seems worried.

"It's always like this Shikumaru," I say.

You've never done this before…

Shikumaru only looks at me, he almost looks like a puppy dog begging someone to not leave. I sigh and go back to working on the smoke screen. I don't have time to be babysitting some heartbroken person in the village. I expected a ninja of his standing to be able to separate his feeling for people long enough to work on a mission that could bring the world back into a war.

He finally opens his mouth, "Should we go through different situations to see how you might reply?"

"You and I both know that we cannot come up with each and every situation I could face." I reply, a little uneasy.

"Oh, ya. I can help you make the smoke screen," Shikumaru seems embarrassed by it.

I am getting frustrated by Shikamaru. I know he is a good person to look at a situation but he knows better. Many people can come up with a few strategies in combat but Shikamaru can come up with up to 200 moves ahead and change that in a heartbeat if something changes. That is why Kakashi put him on this mission with me, I need another point of view. So far Shikamaru had not been helpful in anything that we have tried to do.

Shikamaru is looking at the mission and doesn't seem to have it on top of important things. I need someone who will put everything aside to focus on the mission.

Maybe helping me make these will help him focus. Than we can really begin to plan.

"If you want to. It's mostly just getting them to bond weakly so they will go in different directions if I have to run away from them." I state.

"Well, are you going to set them up or keep them on your person?" Shikumaru asks.

"I will set them up from ways that I know I can run from. I have scouted the area many times and know it like the back of my hand." I say, a little confused.

For a moment I only look at Shikumaru, he and I keep eye contact for a little while. I can feel myself blushing since I feel he is more concerned about me than before. I look down at the smoke screen to see that it's not done yet.

I begin to work on it again.

I cannot allow anything to happen between the two of us. Right now he is in way over his head. There I no way that this emotion filled ninja can be as great as the stories say he is. I sigh again and refocus on the work at hand. My mind goes blank as I work. Shikumaru and I sit in silence for a few good hours.

But I would have thought that Shikamaru would have begun the conversation about the group. I learned that I shouldn't push him.

Lord Sixth's word ring in my head.

'Figure out what's wrong with Shikamaru.'

Shikamaru must be someone important to be having the Hokage worrying about him. Either that or since Shikamaru is the lead strategist in the village he has a large role. That means that Lord Sixth is looking out for the village. Shikamaru has been talked to become the next adviser of Naruto when Naruto becomes the next Hokage.

I finish the smoke screens by then and my belly growls.

"Sounds like someone is hungry," Shikumaru sounds like he has a smile on his face.

I look at Shikamaru. I see that he is smiling. I know that he thinks it is funny, but I need to finish working on these things.

Why would he be smiling?

"What of it?" I ask.

This mission and getting ready for this mission is important. I am use to not eating and getting everything ready first. Food is a reward for me when I finish a task fully. So far all Shikamaru and I have done is work on smoke bombs.

"Let's eat something," he gets up and walks to the kitchen.

I get up and follow him. He moves around the kitchen as though he also lives in the house. I watch him.

I have to remember that Shikamaru isn't trained like I am. I am someone who is trained to work without a break. I know this is something that he needs to do.

I help him make dinner. We silently make dinner, only the silence is a mix of the old and the awkward one that's become new. But that silence only comes after we run into each other or we are close to each other.

We also eat in silence, not a lot was to be said. I am okay with the silence.

Maybe I should be a little more relaxed with Shikamaru, I mean he knows everything about me but I know next to nothing about him. Well, as much as I am willing to tell him. I don't know if I should tell him about the times I have gotten in trouble with lord third.

That is the bad thing. Besides, it's not like I can work with someone I don't understand. Some of his reasons are so weird to me that I need to know what is going on through that head of his.

Did you have the order to work with him though?

"What should we do now?" I ask after we clean up.

"We can talk, play shogi or exhaust the topic of the copy group," Shikumaru gives a playful grin.

I pause for a moment, "Let's talk. I want to understand you better."

"Fine, ask me anything," he replies, maybe a hint of surprise in his voice.

There is one thing that keeps bugging me. I need to know why he is acting the way he is. I may not understand it.

And Lord Sixth wants me to find out. I have to know what is going on with Shikamaru. I will find out.

"What happened the other day?" I can't just ignore it anymore.

I have to ask him. It is inhibiting his ability to think straight and it has been driving me crazy. The fact that one day he can be excited about having a date with someone to going around moping about someone form a different village who doesn't seem to into anyone on the village. Always distracted by the clouds and any messages that come from her village.

Shikumaru steps away from me, shocked by what I just asked. He looks at me and sighs, "It's a long story Tooru."

"We have time," I counter.

He sits down and looks at his hands for a moment, "Well, this is about a girl named Temari. I think you've heard of her. I've known Temari for a while. You knew that already. So when I first stopped a fight from breaking out is when I first felt something for her. I thought it was just because I was lonely and I knew I did not have anything with any girl in the village. Well, maybe one but I don't know what happened to her, or I don't maybe want to know. But that is beside the point that I am making here Tooru. So that connection stayed the whole time she was in the village and I would see her around. So when I got to fight her I felt weird, and that's when I knew that I could not shake it. I didn't know if it was mutual but it was there. So after the Leaf worked things out with the Sand we started to talk whenever she came to the village. The chunin exams stopped for a while and we got to plan the first one when Lady Fifth wanted to restart them. She knew I had feelings for her, but she didn't tell me to stop or that she didn't feel the same way. So I thought the feeling was mutual. I fell in love with her shortly after the war. But, she didn't think it would work, she wanted to stay friends." Shikumaru pauses as he looks away from me.

"Shikumaru…" I whisper.

"I don't understand why," His voice cracks.

Shikamaru stays facing away from me. I can only look at him. I don't know how to help him. I don't understand how to help him. I don't think I can help him with it. I try to think of anything. But I can only think of one.

"Is that what the fear was about?" I ask.

"Yes, and I hope that every day I wake up missing her less only is seems to grow and I don't know why…" Shikumaru begins to shake.

"How did you find out about her feelings?" I ask.

"She sent me a letter explaining everything. And I felt heart broken by it," Shikumaru looks at me.

"I don't know what to tell you Shikumaru, I've never really had any friends." I look at his eyes and retract my hand.

"No," he mumbles.

I stop, not sure of what to do. Here is someone crying in my living room and I feel helpless. I don't understand what he wants from me. I listened to him and tried to ease his pain but beyond that I don't know. Most of the times that works and people stop crying. Only, Shikumaru is so broken by all of this. He clearly loves Temari and knows he cannot get her out of his mind. Only, I have no idea how to even try to help him. I know that I shouldn't try to help him, and that whatever is going on between us needs to stop since it interferes with the mission. No, there is nothing between us, he is hung up on a girl and I am getting annoyed with him every time this topic comes up.

Is this how the real Shikamaru would act? Shikamaru is good at understanding things….

"I love Temari with all my heart, but I don't know about these other emotions I am feeling." Shikumaru gives me a pleading look, as though I can help his with his pain.

"Shikumaru I don't understand how to help people. Maybe asking Sai?" I joke.

Shikumaru cracks a smile, look up at me he smiles, "I don't know if I can tell any of them this though."

"You should tell someone other than me," I state.

"I can't," He looks away from me.

"Why not?" I question him.

"Because, I know I shouldn't feel this way about her since she and I already talked about these thing. Therefore everyone expects me to move on from her just as fast," Shikumaru has calmed down.

"That's unfair," He looks back up at me, "You need time to heal besides you have important intel that you need to help me on. Not to mention that relationships seem too hard and like they should never happen."

Shikumaru laughs a little, "I guess you're right Tooru."

After that we stayed up talking about anything. There are a few moments of silence but it's turned back into the soothing silence that feels normal. We did eventually get back on the topic of the copy group. And we did make some new progress on the group, like who was in the village and about the build of the group. Also that the highly specialized ANBU members are going to be taken away like Naruto and Gaara were. Only that these files could be key to finding more information out about each village, or that since there are so many they would want to start a new village to rival the five great nations. There are so many but we got them narrowed down. I even had to draw a picture of the area for Shikumaru to understand just where I am and how they always stand. We noticed a pattern, they stand in a way that points to each village. Something that I over look everything because I thought that it meant nothing.

"Can we at least run through a few possible things that can happen?" Shikumaru asks.

"Fine, one or two a day," I reply.

"Okay. Situation one, while they are asleep you are placed in a genjutsu and you cannot find a way to break it," he sits back with a smirk.

"Easy, use shadows to break a finger and escape," I retort.

"You wake up to see that you are surrounded by them and they all have kunai in their hands," he comes back.

"I would sink into the ground and cause an uproar with them," I say easily.

Shikumaru looks at me, puzzled. I know he cannot think of any other thing that could happen. Even if they chased me he knows that I can hurt them a lot. He throws up his hands to surrender and I only laugh. He laughs as well. Maybe working with him will be good for me. Now that we are focused on the mission and not stupid relationship problems the progress that we can make will be fantastic. We finally calm down from laughing and go back into silence.

"I should be heading home though," he yawns and gets up.

"Awe, the super tough ninja tired again?" I tease.

He shoves me playfully, "Maybe we can train in a few days. But go easy please, I don't think any of us can match your powers."

Powers? You only know them, but you have to practice those things to be proficient with them.

"Fine. Meet up around noon?" I ask, Shikumaru nods and leaves.

I change and go to bed. Only, I think I understand that Temari never fully loved Shikumaru. Maybe there was something, but Temari did not feel the same. I think that there is more to this. Only I have no idea what those things are.

My eyes open and I hear some shouting. Shouting, it's a very loud noise. But my eyes close again and I drift off into a sleep.