An Unwelcome Visitor
"Vanir-san, wait, what are you doing?! Don't throw these out!"
The undead shopkeeper poured through the box, claiming armfuls of the garbage that Moi tossed in. Paying her no mind, Moi tossed another into the box.
"Vanir-san!" she whined.
"Enough of thy racket woman whose lack of sense is as questionable as an undead having a large chest! Why is it Moi must contend with thy idiocies everyday?"
Moi pressed thy hand to his forehead in exasperation.
The brat was gone, and with him, his ideas; which meant Moi no longer had any real means to keep the profits coming in. As if by providence, the door to the shop opened, and in waddled a familiar face.
"Good morning, Vanir-sama."
"Zereschrute. Impeccable timing. Tell Moi, hast thou brought good news?"
"I have, Vanir-sama."
"Zereschrute-san, good morning," the infernal shopkeeper said, bowing courteously.
"Ah, morning, Wiz-san."
"Zereschrute, thou were saying?"
"AH, yes, I've brought the proceeds from the manatite sales. I was wondering if Vanir-sama knew were I could find the boy to deliver his—"
"The brat isn't here; he and his group left on a quest far from here."
"Really? Well, that's unfortunate."
Yes, unfortunate; the brat wasn't here to receive his profits from the sales…however, Moi was. "Worry not, Zereschrute, thou may leave the collection with Moi; I will make sure to hand the brat his partage."
"Ah, sounds good then, Vanir-sama."
As Zereschrute handed me the large sack of coins, the door to the shop flew open, this time however, it was a silver-haired thief standing at its threshold, breathing heavily and eyes ablaze with fury. "You!" she yelled, pointing threateningly at Zereschrute.
"EEEK! VANIR-SAMA!"
Without a moment's notice, Zereschrute had dipped behind me, shaking madly with fear.
Moi sighed. "What art thou doing here? Are thou here to cause a ruckus?"
"Me?! Like I need a reason to slay a devil," she replied, quickly pulling out a dagger.
"Didn't thee and the brat come to an agreement—or is thy true nature finally revealing itself? Hmph. Thy kind call us despicable and barbaric, but at least Moi and mine kin know how to keep promises."
"You—!"
"C-Chris-san," Wiz said, jumping in between us, "p-please relax."
"You want me to relax?! An undead is asking me to relax—when there are devils in front of me?!"
"P-Please! Aqua-sama asked as well, didn't she?"
The silver-haired delinquent grit her teeth and then reluctantly sheathed her dagger. She stormed over to the table by the door and sat down.
"What art thou doing?" Moi asked.
"Me? What does it look like I'm doing? I'm not going anywhere; I'm staying here to make sure you don't do anything. You're a devil, so I know eventually you'll end up doing something despicable, and when you do"—she flashed her dagger—"I'll put an end to you."
"C-Chris-san," the hopeless shopkeeper stammered, "how about I get you some tea?"
"Tea? From an undead?" She narrowed her eyes menacingly.
"A-Aqua-sama has praised it; m-maybe you'll like it…too?"
The androgynous intruder sucked her teeth. "Fine."
"V-Vanir-sama," Zereschrute said, nervously tugging on my sleeve, "is it alright if I stay here until she's gone?" he whispered.
"Moi has no issues with that request; however, if thee are not operating the shop in the capital, who is?"
"Ah, well…w-we can just say the shop has closed early for the day."
"Unacceptable. Moi needs the proceeds from the shop in order to keep this enterprise afloat; the wretched shopkeep seemingly does everything in her blighted power to see Moi's dreams never materialize. This being the case, Moi needs thee to return to the shop in the capital."
"B-But, Vanir-sama…"
Zereschrute looked over at the male/female mystery sitting by the shop window; he/she stared back with a hawkish look of disgust and contempt.
Moi sighed. As much as Moi didn't want to intervene in such affairs, it would turn out to be a hassle if Zereschrute were to be eliminated; Moi couldn't allow the other shop to go unmanned.
"Go on, Zereschrute, Moi will hold this meddlesome person's attention."
"B-But—"
"Go. They cannot visit the capital so easily."
"Ah, I-I see. G-Got it. Thank you, Vanir-sama."
As I walked over to the table, Zereschrute quickly made his escape. The thief, however, made no attempt to follow him, her eyes following Moi instead.
"You sure you wanna get so close?" she said, her eyes narrowing, and her fingers, no doubt, gripping the handle of her dagger tightly.
"Moi wishes to ask thee a question."
"Go ahead, not that I'll answer."
"Oh? Moi believes thee will answer."
"Tch. What is it…devil?"
"Moi wanted to ask thee if thou art interested in buying a product."
"From you? No thanks. I don't want—"
"Thou has had many instances of romances gone awry, haven't thee?"
"Romances gone awry? What are you—?"
"With thy lack of chest, thou art truly giving even the Crimson Demon child a run for her money."
"You—!"
Just as she was about to lunge at Moi, the shopkeeper returned.
"C-Chris-san!" she said, quickly shuffling over to us. "H-Here. I'm sorry to keep you waiting," she said, bowing profusely. She placed the tray of tea and desserts down on the table.
The infamous thief-whose-underwear-were-stolen bitterly sat back down.
"Vanir-san!" The undead shopkeeper stared at Moi with a knit brow. "Please stop being uncourteous to our guest; she is a customer, after all."
"Tch. If this vagrant is indeed a customer then she would buy something to signify such."
"Vagrant?!" The one in question retorted. "Why you—!"
"C-Chris-san! Please don't mind, Vanir-san; he's a bit rude, but he's not as bad as he seems."
"Your words are wasted on me; there's no way I'll trust what an undead or a devil has to say. It's taking everything just to not wipe the both of you from this good earth." As she declared this, the irrational thief took a sip of the tea she was served. She paused, a brief look of surprise on her face, then it swiftly returned to a frown.
"Chris-san is a devout follower of Eris, I see."
"As good as any. Well…maybe not; since I'm sure if there were others who knew the truth about you two you'd be purged by now. Anyway, what's a lich and a devil setting up shop in a human town? Is it your plan to corrupt the good townsfolk of this city?"
"Actually," the shopkeeper chuckled, "I was planning to provide help to adventurers who need it. Vanir-san just happened to join me since we knew each other sometime ago. Also…because I was having some…financial issues."
The thief gave her the same contemptible look a certain useless deity often gave Moi.
"Financial issues, huh? Not surprising; luck just isn't with you. The goddess Eris doesn't offer her blessings to undead, after all," she remarked, taking a dessert from the tray in front of her.
"Ah, I suppose so."
"Pfft." Moi couldn't help but laugh. "Goddess? This silly girl was unlucky far before she became an undead. While the rest of her companions went on to live successful lives and have fruitful relationships, this one simply failed on all fronts."
"VANIR-SAN!"
Undoubtedly, the unlucky owner of the shop was rather angry with Moi's remark, however, the juicy feelings of embarrassment that Moi devoured was certainly worth the hit to relations.
"Ehhh?" Though still largely harboring disdain, the silver-haired nuisance stared at the shopkeeper with slightly more lament in her eyes.
"C-Chris-san, please don't pay him any mind! It's just a devil's lie!"
The thief stared at Moi once again and then, in the silence, raised her cup. "It's empty," she said, glancing at the shopkeeper.
"Ah!" She fumbled for the teapot, but in her innate clumsiness, she dropped it onto the floor.
CRASH!
"Hey!"
"Ah, ugh. S-Sorry! I-I'll go make some more, Chris-san. Y-, You can look around the store in the meantime—if you'd like."
The clumsy woman quickly cleaned up the mess on the ground and then squirted off into the backroom.
Left alone, the troublesome person who invaded the shop shifted their focus to Moi. "Do you even do anything? It seems to me like this whole thing is just an excuse for you to sit here and conspire."
"How rude. Moi does the majority of the work here. Moi even works other jobs to pay for the bumbling shopkeeper's blunders."
"Other jobs? I'm sure that involves tricking other people."
"Pfft. Moi never imagined meeting someone as insufferable as the foolish creature that usually haunts this shop. As Moi has told thee before, Moi is an upstanding and law-abiding citizen of this city."
"I'd sooner become friends with an undead than believe that nonsense."
"Has thou really not heard of Moi's consultation services?"
"You giving advice? Sounds a lot like a devil trying to conjure up lies and spread false prophecies."
Moi couldn't help but laugh. "False prophecies? Moi gives no such things; everything Moi predicts happens in one form or another."
"Ha! As if a devil can divine true prophecies, don't make me laugh."
Moi is usually a very calm individual; however, the attitude of this boyish thief had reminded Moi of one such annoying pest, and Moi's pride could not abide by such an affront.
"Very well then, allow Moi to offer thy services to thee free-of-charge."
"No thanks; I don't want—"
"Ho? It sounds as if thou art afraid of finding out the truth."
"The truth? What truth?"
"The truth that the god's prophecies are cheap imitations when it comes to Moi's own abilities."
The thief shot out of her seat, dagger drawn. "You take that back. Now."
"Mwahaha. Moi shall not. However, Moi shall make thee an offer."
"Does it involve me running you through?" she remarked, readying her blade.
"Perhaps. Moi will tell you of an event; an event that will transpire within two months."
"And why would I care to listen instead of just smiting you where you stand?"
"Because Moi will prove to thee that Moi's prophecies are never wrong. And, if the event does not come to pass, then Moi will allow thee to carry out thy pugnacious act."
"That still doesn't explain why I shouldn't just eliminate you now."
"Tch. Have thee no pride or art thee merely a villain meant to carry out violence wherever thee sees fit? Moi will prove thee wrong or thee will prove Moi wrong. At its conclusion, one will forfeit themselves completely to the other, in agreement. Or will thou continue to show such barbarism by simply engaging Moi in combat?"
The thief frowned heavily. "Tsk." She sheathed her dagger and sat back down. "Go ahead and speak your lies, devil; afterward, I'll decide on whether or not to kill you now or later."
Moi smiled. "Excellent. Then let me tell thee. In the capital of this land, there will be a situation that calls thee to correct it. Moi sees the princess; she is seemingly in trouble. Her feelings, Moi sees them in turmoil, causing the princess much restlessness. A secret project made with a single person in mind."
The thief had a startled expression when Moi finished; she quickly looked away, hoping that Moi had not noticed.
"Th-That's it?" she said. "Sounds like a bunch of random nonsense. You said two months, right?"
"That's correct."
"Good. Then that means I can finally put an end to you soon; the people of Axel and this country won't have to worry about a devil existing amongst them anymore."
The thief stood up and made for the door.
"Ho? Art thou leaving? Moi recalled thee saying thee were going nowhere."
"As if I have all day to sit around here keeping you company; I'm a busy person, you know. I'm leaving, but I'm keeping my eye on you."
A few moments after the thief left, the shopkeeper returned from the depths of the backroom. "Chris-san, I'm sorry for the wait, I— Huh? Where's Chris-san?"
"The thief left."
"She left?" The shopkeeper stared at Moi in surprise, then she pouted. "Vanir-san, did you have anything to do with that?"
"Moi knows nothing of what thou art saying; the thief merely decided to leave of her own accord; Moi had nothing to do with it."
"*sigh* And I made another pot of tea. Vanir-san, would you like to share it?"
"Moi has no need for such things. What Moi needs is for this lazy shopkeeper to do her job; thee has lazed around long enough."
"B-But—"
"Work, woman!"
"But, Vanir-san! Ah, Vanir-san, why are you charging your death ray? Vanir-san? VANIR-SANNNN!"
"VANIR-STYLE DEATH RAY!"