Ashes to Ashes

Part II – Reincarnation

Why wasn't she more careful?

She should have paid attention to those noises. She should have looked around. She could have hid from the beast, if only she knew it was nearby. But she was so obsessed with finishing her spell. It was not as if she couldn't stop and try again. She could try as many times as she wanted, as long as she had her notebook, the corpse and the ashes. But because she was unwilling to wait a single second, she lost everything. The corpse was singed beyond recognition, the notebook was practically burned off the face of Nirn and the ashes were scattered all over the swamp, in the water, all around her, on the ground, mixing with the burnt grass.

And now she would lose her life as well.

She writhed under the heavy statue, trying to dislodge herself from it. She knew all too well that had she been sitting just a tiny bit to the side, she would have been already dead by now. The statue was heavy. She should really be grateful that she was just trapped under it for now. Probably. Her stomach ached so much and she felt like she couldn't breathe, but she was still alive.

Not for long though. The dragon was already opening its maw again. And now a green light appeared at the back of its throat.

Brelyna let out a desperate scream as her only free hand lit up with magic again. She couldn't let this thing kill her. If she was going to die, it was not going to be because of this monster that ruined her chances to bring back J'zargo.

Another lightning shot from her hand, into the dragon's head and it did force it let out a pained roar instead of whatever magic it was going to spew at her. But it was still alive. Brelyna was no stranger to combat, even though she was just an apprentice. They trained with summoned Daedra often and she dispatched multiple giant spiders here in the swamp in her search for the perfect place and the corpse. But this was something else. Even through her biggest worries about her journey, a dragon never even came to mind. It was so easy to forget the dangers in the safety of the College. Well… usual safety.

This was supposed to be her path? Did the Augur send her to her death? Why? Why was everyone punishing her for wanting her friend back? Why was everyone just trying to deter her? How could they not understand? Why didn't anyone care about J'zargo?

She still tried so hard to push the statue away, but she was getting exhausted. She had been searching the swamp all day. She had been studying all night. And now was the time her body began to give up on her. She was shaking violently every time she tried to push on the statue, every time she tried to wiggle away. She saw the beast open its maw once more, once more with that green light forming at the back of its throat.

She raised her hand again, ready to cast, but the spell dissipated instantly. Dammit, now she couldn't concentrate enough to keep it up. She was still trying to escape her prison and all of this left her in a panic.

She was done for.

Her breaths were heavy and panicked and when her hand lit up and extinguished once more, she could think of nothing else but to close her eyes and wait for the inevitable.

Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing. Maybe she would see J'zargo there, wherever she was going to end up.

The strange roar it let out whenever it spewed something echoed in her ears and then she could hear the sound of something spraying around her. There was stinging, burning pain on her legs in several small spots.

But she thought it would hurt more. It wasn't that bad. Maybe she died quickly.

She couldn't help but open her eyes carefully. She wasn't sure what she would see. But she was resigned to it.

First, she saw nothing.

But when her eyes adjusted again, nothing could prepare her for what she saw.

There was a figure standing right in front of her. A man. He had a large shield raised in front of the dragon's maw, guarding both himself and her from the attack, and an axe in his other hand. Some sort of green acid was spraying all around, but the shield kept her and the man safe.

She was still alive. Did somebody just rush right into a dragon's attack to save her?

Who would do something like that? That was insane! That was so reckless. That was so dangerous. What kind of person would ever do that?

J'zargo.

She couldn't help but think of him instantly. It was what he would do – mindlessly risking himself when he thought he could help. It was what he had done the day he died. Everyone thought it was his ego, his confidence that made him misstep. He didn't misstep. He saved them all. Without him, nobody would have known how to survive that fucking field of death. She just wished that J'zargo didn't have to die for that knowledge.

And this man seemed to be risking himself just as mindlessly. For some stranger trapped under a Daedric statue.

The spray of acid stopped and the man didn't hesitate even for a moment. He lowered his shield the second it was safe and he chopped with his axe against the beast. The axe lodged in its eye and the dragon let out a deafening roar.

Brelyna couldn't see much from her position and instead she tried to concentrate again on removing herself from under the statue. It was too heavy though. She really wished that Master Tolfdir taught her the telekinesis spells when she had asked, but she hadn't been 'proficient enough yet' apparently.

Loud roars and grunts echoed through the area. She wasn't able to concentrate on much. She did, at one point, catch the dragon's head in her peripheral vision and, with her frustration and anger still bubbling inside, her hand lit up once more and shot a lightning at the head. Brelyna was quite surprised that she even managed to keep up her spell right now, but it probably helped the man battling the beast at least a little.

It felt like it took a long time when everything just felt confusing and chaotic. But then, a loud 'thud' and a splash echoed through the area. Brelyna felt some of the swampy water land on her again, but soon, all was quiet.

She still hadn't managed to get out of the web-spinner's clutches and she felt so exhausted. She just… slumped down. No more struggling. Her legs burned in several spots and every muscle in her body ached from the effort.

"Hey, are you with me?"

A pat on her cheek riled her up a bit. Her eyes fluttered open again, she wasn't even sure when she had closed them before. But now she could finally see the man.

His face was half-covered in blood. Hopefully the dragon's. He looked young. And he was a Nord, so that meant he could have been very young. Maybe not even twenty years old. He had light-amber hair falling over his face down to her shoulders and he had patchy stubble on his softly freckled face. Despite his young appearance though, he looked very muscular and strong. No wonder. He just killed a dragon, didn't he?

"I need you to help me out a bit," he gave her a small smile. "Come on, gotta work together." He inclined his head down to where his hands were. Only now Brelyna noticed him clutching Mephala's arm in his hands.

'Work together'. Like she used to with J'zargo. She wasn't sure if she was woozy from the pain or the exhaustion, or if there was really something strange going on. Everything this man had said and done so far reminded her of her friend. And despite what she had thought before, she couldn't really stop thinking about the Augur's words either.

Stupid. She was just rattled from the experience. And from losing J'zargo. She should really just… get out of this prison.

She nodded at the man absentmindedly and gathered all her remaining strength. She pushed, letting out a groan of pain, but the statue finally moved with the young man helping her. She felt it lift enough to give her some room and the stranger quickly spoke to her.

"Hurry, I'll hold it, get out of there," the strain was palpable in his voice, but hopefully he would manage to hold it.

She quickly let the statue go and wriggled out from under it at last. The statue fell onto the ground again the second she was safely away. She could finally look around and gather herself a bit.

Her robes and trousers underneath had holes in several spots and her grey skin underneath was swollen and red. It looked like acid burns. Those would be a pain to get rid of and they hurt a lot. But other than that, she seemed unharmed – mostly just sore and bruised.

She just wished that the same could be said for J'zargo and her ritual.

The young man was looking at her with concern but his gentle smile never wavered. He was probably trying to reassure her. She was more stunned by the giant dead beast behind him though.

"Did you just kill a dragon?" she let out a disbelieving gasp. Did all of that really just happen?

"You know what?" the man suddenly chuckled. "I can't even believe I'm saying this, but… I get that a lot."

Did he? Was this not the first dragon he killed? That was… insane. And impressive.

"My name is Erik," he smiled at her. "I was scouting the area for… well… dragons. And when I saw that it was attacking someone, I had to try to help."

'Scouting for dragons'? He was looking for them? Utterly insane.

"Uhm… yes… thank you," she nodded, still a bit dazed. "I'm Brelyna."

"S-so, Brelyna," he suddenly looked a bit nervous as he spoke. "What were you doing here?" His eyes darted towards the overturned statue of Mephala lying on the small island in the swamp water. It was clear what he was thinking.

"I'm not a Daedra worshiper," Brelyna huffed in response and folded her arms across her chest. It wasn't as if he would understand what she was doing anyway. Nobody would understand.

"Good!" He looked relieved. "I mean… well… whatever you worship… it's alright. I just… hear they're not very pleasant to deal with," he chuckled nervously.

There was a brief moment of silence before Erik spoke again.

"So… w-why is there a corpse there?" He looked down at the burned body nervously. He must have noticed that it wasn't alive before the dragon showed up. The lingering stench of rot was hard to hide, even under the scent of smoke in the air.

"I'm a mage. I was trying something," Brelyna shrugged defensively.

"Ah. You're a… necromancer?" He gave her an uncertain look.

"I am just trying something! What's it to you?!" Brelyna spat at him. She already knew where this was going. Nobody would understand.

"No. It's alright! I didn't mean to," Erik shook his head briskly at her. "Sometimes… we need to resort to the unconventional to do what needs to be done," he gave her another small smile before he let out a tired sigh instead. "Look, it's late and your legs are hurt. Would you let me help you get to Morthal?"

That… sounded like a good idea, actually. And maybe she was too harsh, presuming that he wouldn't understand. He seemed nice. Helpful. And he killed a dragon. She probably didn't need to snap at him.

She still felt a little bit in shock. And her own state of mind kind of… disturbed her.

She should be angrier. She should be livid. That dragon cost her everything.

But she wasn't. Something about that young man calmed her.

Maybe she just needed some rest.

…

It was strange, Brelyna couldn't even tell what she was feeling anymore.

For such a long time it had been just anger, grief, chaos and despair. Then it was… nothing. For a while it felt like she couldn't actually feel anything at all. It was only when Nirya made that stupid necromancy comment that Brelyna finally felt a little tinge of hope. Kind of ridiculous that it was because of that stuck-up bitch, but that was irrelevant.

But now, when she had expected something much worse, when she had expected some anger and despair and… emptiness, now she felt… just odd. She wasn't even sure. She was sad, but… confused. But maybe she really was just tired.

Or maybe she had needed to talk about this for a long time.

About J'zargo.

This was different than her talk with Falion. She was just telling the Redguard the necessities to play on his heart-strings and get him to help her. Now it was something else entirely. There was no agenda, no ulterior motives. She just… talked.

Erik helped her get back to Morthal and he even offered to buy her a meal at the local inn. For no reason. Or maybe he was just feeling sorry for her. There was no healer in Morthal right now and she had to make do with numbing her pain with potions only.

That was the last thing on her mind anyway though.

Naturally, Erik was curious about what she was 'trying' out in the swamp and… she just didn't have it in her to be guarded anymore.

Maybe she really did need this. Talking about everything somehow felt a bit better.

"He… he sounds like a very brave man," Erik gave her a sympathetic smile when she finished telling him what happened. Once more, without mentioning that cursed Eye, of course.

"He was," Brelyna lowered her eyes, staring down onto the table. The bravest she had ever known. It didn't matter that everyone just called him brash. To her, he was brave.

"And… and you really think you could have brought him back?" Erik looked at her with an expression full of doubt and a bit of pity. She knew what that meant. He didn't believe she could have done it.

Did she?

She had been so convinced that she figured it out. That she could bring him back. Why was she just… not anymore? Did that dragon knock those ideas out of her head? She wasn't sure what happened. It was like… an utter defeat. Because she couldn't try to bring him back anymore, she didn't believe that she ever even could. Maybe it was a coping mechanism. Maybe it made it easier to think that it was never actually possible rather than think about the fact that she ruined the only chance with her carelessness.

"I… I don't know anymore," she merely shook her head in response. Believing that it was impossible was easier right now.

"Shor's ass, I don't know either," Erik sighed. "I think… I don't think you can bring him back. Not in the way you imagine at least. I don't know… does anyone want to be a rotting corpse? Or a ghost? I thought those linger because they have unfinished business here. Your friend didn't. You know? He's… he's alright. He's done. I don't know much about Khajiit religions and stuff. Or Dunmer ones. I just… I do know that we believe that brave men like that, they deserve our respect and we have a lot to learn from them, sure. But they also deserve their peace when they pass. He earned his peace, didn't he?"

"He can't be 'done'," Brelyna scowled at him. "He was taken too soon. It's not right that he's gone."

"Is he? I don't know… you still think about him," Erik shrugged. "I know it hasn't been too long but… look, I'm not good at this… comforting stuff. I just think that people who pass aren't gone when we remember what they did. Try to see it in others you know? Like… like my mom. She was so nice. To everyone. And I always tried to be nice like her. And you were all brave too, coming here to get him back," he gave her an uncertain smile. He looked so sincere, like he really cared about making her feel better. She didn't even feel like anyone who knew her cared enough, but this complete stranger was much more convincing.

Once more she couldn't help but be reminded of J'zargo. Maybe she had been looking at it all wrong. Like when she miscast a spell, when she misunderstood a component. J'zargo was always able to make her see it in another light altogether, look at it from a different angle, different perspective.

Erik was a warrior, chasing after dragons for some unfathomable reason, a Nord who knew nothing about magic. Why did he remind her of J'zargo so much? They were like complete opposites. But still, he was so much like him. She thought back on the Augur's words. 'Reincarnation'.

It was silly, of course. She was convinced that there was no such thing and besides, it wouldn't make any sense. Erik was born long before J'zargo died. But maybe it wasn't what she had originally though. Maybe reincarnation wasn't about souls traveling to new bodies. Maybe it was more… the qualities of the person living in others. Maybe it was about her being able to see J'zargo in other people, having him live in others and herself despite the fact that the man himself, with all his memories of her, was gone for good.

"Maybe… maybe you have a point," she gave him a weak smile. She couldn't help but wonder if the Augur actually knew what was going to happen. If he knew that her efforts would be in vain but that they would lead her to Erik. To someone who could make her see her grief in a new light.

"Look, I don't know much about nothing," Erik chuckled. "But I did learn some stuff about… purpose. That we all have one. Or more than one, I guess. And that the most unexpected stuff can lead us to it. I think part of mine was to be there and to protect you from that beast. And maybe your friend's was to show you the way, you know, back then when it happened. To show you how to help that College of yours and to save it. He did that. He did his part. He's at peace now, right?"

It was a nice way of looking at it. J'zargo did save them. It may have looked like a poorly thought-out action, but maybe none of them would be here now if it wasn't for him.

"So your purpose was to save me?" she smirked a bit. He made it sound like it was fate that he showed up. Maybe it was. But still, she couldn't help but wonder why he really showed up there. "What's the real purpose then? What are you doing, chasing after dragons like a madman? Why would you even risk fighting them?"

"Oh, well… I don't usually fight them," Erik lowered his eyes bashfully. "I just… I heard you scream and I knew it was attacking someone. I had to try to help."

"Crazy," she shook her head with a soft smile. Maybe even crazier than J'zargo.

"Yeah, I guess," he chuckled. "But it worked out, didn't it?"

Brelyna gave him another smile and a small nod. It did. She really thought that she was done for. And maybe… maybe she didn't even mind that much at that moment. But now she was really glad that Erik showed up when he did.

"What will you do now?" he looked at her curiously after a while of companionable silence.

"I… I don't know." She never even stopped to think about it. She had planned to return to the College with J'zargo and everything would go back to the way it was. But that was not happening. "I… I don't even know if I want to come back anymore." The College just… it didn't feel right. Not without him. She loved magic and she loved doing her research but… she always thought about the old days there now. She always thought about what she had lost.

"No one says you gotta go back," Erik shrugged. "You can move on, if you like. Nothing wrong with that. You're not abandoning anyone. You'll always carry your friend with you. And all the smart stuff you learned there too, I bet," he chuckled.

"But where do I move on to?" she asked, as if he could give her an answer. She knew that no one but her could answer that, but she still felt like she needed to ask.

"I don't know." He gave her the predictable answer, but he still looked deep in thought. "I mean… I don't understand all this magic stuff, but what you told me, all that… combining spells stuff, it sounds damn smart to me. Shit, I think you might be as smart as old Esbern even," he chuckled. "And he's saving people with his smarts, you know? Every day by staring at a damn wall. World needs smart people like that."

"'Wall'? Who's staring at a wall?" Brelyna tilted her head in confusion. "You chase after dragons and got friends saving people by staring at walls?"

"Sounds crazy when you say it like that," Erik laughed. "The wall… it's a bit complicated. He's a… friend. We all are just… a bunch of people who try to do something about the dragons, you know? He studies them. And I… I mostly scout. I look for dragons and then I try to figure out where they nest. I already pinpointed a lot of locations like this," he puffed up his chest proudly.

"And then you kill them?" She raised her brows at him. He was a… dragon hunter? And actual person willing to hunt and kill dragons? That was… the bravest thing she had ever heard. Especially after she had seen what these beasts were capable of.

"W-well… no," his face fell a little. "Like I said, I don't usually attack them. And I… I never really killed one on my own. Your spell helped a lot with this one, you know. And I saw you hurt it before I made it to you too," he gave her an approving nod. "I… I don't think anyone has actually killed one on their own. I've never heard of one person killing a dragon on their own without any help. Maybe the Dragonborn. I'm not sure though, I've only seen her travel alone once. So… I mostly just find out where they are."

"What good does that do?" Brelyna asked curiously. He certainly seemed to be faring well against that beast. She barely helped. Why wouldn't he kill them?

"Well… travelers and caravans have an easier way to avoid them if they know where they are. We send anonymous information to the nearby cities and settlements when we find one and they handle the rest. Informing the masses and such. And finding them now will also make it easier… after," he explained.

"Who's 'we'? You and your smart friend? And 'after' what?" she couldn't help but pry. Why was he being so oddly vague?

"After… for when we can kill them," he answered uncertainly.

"But you just killed one," she scowled. It didn't make much sense to her.

"Y-yes. But… it's not the same. It's not dead. It will wake up. Only the Dragonborn, or another dragon I guess, can kill one for real."

Right. She knew that. The Dragonborn being the only one who can kill them and that sort of stuff. She never really concerned herself with the dragons much. This one was dead enough for her.

"So you just… wait for the Dragonborn to grace you with her presence?" Brelyna scoffed. She couldn't help it. Despite what she knew, despite the fact that saving the College was only possible with that Shout of hers, Brelyna was still feeling a bit bitter. It wasn't the girl's fault but… Gods, why couldn't she just think of trying that first? Before J'zargo rushed in like that. But thoughts like these were pointless. It was what it was. Nobody would have thought of the solution were it not for J'zargo, she had to remember that.

"No… that's not it either," Erik shook his head. "It's… complicated. And secret."

Huh. Secret. That was why he was being vague. But why? People studying and trying to find dragons seemed like something that didn't need to be kept secret. It seemed perfectly reasonable, given the circumstances.

"You do all this in secret? Why?" she looked at him in bafflement. "Don't you want the glory? Don't you want the recognition?" That was why anyone did anything, right? Why would they be doing this if not to be known for saving everyone from those beasts? That was why anyone did anything at the College – to be recognized.

"That's not important," he waved his hand dismissively. "We just want to help people. We just want to get rid of the dragons. They threaten us all."

"Funny," Brelyna scoffed. She wasn't sure if she was bitter or touched about his selflessness. "At the College, everyone was all too happy to threaten the world, as long as it got them their recognition. Their thesis materials and new discoveries. That's all that matters. What are a few lives lost in sight of that?" She couldn't hide the disdain from her voice.

"Well… we don't really want to be recognized," Erik answered nervously. "In fact, the less people know, the better. There are certain… influential groups that kind of… hate us."

'Influential groups'. That only made her think of one thing.

"Well… the Thalmor kind of hate everyone," she smirked.

Erik let out a nervous chuckle and he quickly looked around the inn, as if to see if anyone was listening to them. "I… I never said it was the Thalmor." So unconvincing, but he seemed to want to change the subject quickly. "So, do you know much about dragons?"

"No, sorry," she sighed. "It's not really my area." She kind of wished that it were now, for some reason. Helping people like this… it would be a nice change. Someone who didn't constantly try to compete for recognition. It sounded like… teamwork. Like what she used to do with J'zargo.

"What is your area?" He looked at her curiously.

"In general? Alteration," she answered. "As you saw, I did just try my hand at necromancy," she scoffed at herself. "Can't say it went well. My main focus at the College for my second year was detection of life and its variations though. Trying to enhance some properties of the spells that are now known to us."

"What do you mean 'detection of life'? Like… telling if someone wounded is still alive or not?" he pondered aloud.

Brelyna couldn't help but laugh at the notion. It was quite charming though, that he had no idea what it was. And she was kind of excited to show off too. She hadn't felt like that in a long time. "How much do you need to study for that?" she chuckled. The pulse kind of gave it away quickly. "No… it's a spell. Quite common, not that difficult. But it has components that make it inadequate. I studied ways to expand it and make it more useful."

"What does the spell do?" Erik prodded, still obviously confused.

"It lets you see living forms from a distance by illuminating them in a magical aura. Like through walls and buildings and mountains. When someone cast the spell, they could see everyone at the College grounds no matter the room, the floor. Just… everywhere. All at once," she explained.

Erik looked utterly taken aback by that. Funny, she didn't find it that unusual. But that was probably just because she was so familiar with all manner of magic.

"Are you pulling my leg?" he narrowed his eyes at her in a while, as if he really didn't believe her.

"No. You really never heard of it?"

"No! That's a thing? Does it see dragons?" There was such excitement in his voice all of the sudden.

"I… guess," Brelyna shrugged. "I mean… I never saw a dragon with it, but there weren't any near the College yet. I think it must. The dragons are living beings. I don't see why it wouldn't."

"Do you even understand how helpful this would be to us?" he gaped at her. He looked like he had just found some rare treasure.

But he had a point. He was scouting and looking for dragons. With a detect life spell, it could be so much easier and much safer too. In fact, if she went back to her abandoned research and found a way to make those amulets with the permanent enchantment work, she could get one for him and maybe his friends too. That actually made her excited.

"Huh," she smiled. "I didn't even think about that at first. I guess you're right. So… I… I can help." She wanted to, even back when she thought she had nothing to offer. But now she did. "Can I?" The pleading tone in her voice surprised even her.

"Damn," Erik chuckled. "And here I was preparing to butter you up and all. And you just… offer," he smiled at her gratefully.

"I have research back at the College. If it pans out, I could make amulets that let you see the living, just like the spell," she started to babble in excitement. "I could make them for you and your friends. I could help you. And… and… I could do some research at the College. We have some books about dragons. Maybe I can find some other things to help with too. Maybe there are other ways to make things easier for you."

"'Amulets'?" he gasped. "You're amazing. That would be… that would help us so much. So you really would? I could take you to… my friends after the healer comes to town and we get you fixed up. We'll tell you everything then. It's… it's a lot, but if you really want to help…"

"I do," she interrupted him with a determined nod. This was good. This actually made her want to go back to her research. Go back to the College. She wouldn't be doing it to compete with everyone, she would be doing it to help. To help people like Erik. Like she used to help J'zargo with her ideas.

"That's great. I can't wait to tell everyone. Esbern will be thrilled to have another smart mage there to help," Erik beamed. "You can go back to the College anytime. And you can come back to see us anytime you have something for us too. Or just anytime you want."

Brelyna nodded. That sounded nice. She could always go there, wherever it was, if the College got too much. She didn't care anymore about always being there, trying her hardest to become a Master. Maybe she would one day, or maybe not. What did it matter? She could actually do something that really mattered right now and it didn't need to be at the expense of other talented mages.

"It's settled then," she smiled. "I'll meet with your friends and then I'll go back to the College to find what I can. I should go back anyway, I still need to…" she stopped herself mid-sentence. The thought that just popped into her head was not a pleasant one.

"What is it?" Erik looked at her with concern. She probably couldn't hide the sudden change in tune.

"I… well… you know that I kind of… stole J'zargo's ashes. I thought I would come back with him but… now I'm not. Not even with his body," she sighed. She still had the urn. She could just… pretend that nothing happened. Nobody would look inside the urn. But… it just felt wrong. And it suddenly hit her that she had left her friend's remains somewhere in the middle of nowhere. And for what?

"Maybe you're not giving the people there enough credit," Erik smiled at her warmly. "You're grieving. I'm sure they would understand. Sorrow makes us do… strange things. And besides, I don't think you did anything wrong in the end. Some ashes get scattered. In special places and such."

It was a nice thought, but hardly applicable to her situation.

"Yeah, in a swamp. Nice resting place for a friend. I'm sure J'zargo would love that," she scoffed.

"You know what, I didn't know him, but I think he just might," Erik gently reached out and placed his hand on hers in a comforting, amicable gesture. "He was with his good friend. And it's the spot where you found your new purpose. Where you knew that you need to carry him with you instead of forcing him back. I think it's nice."

It was kind of nice. Erik really had a way of making her see things in a new light. She fought hard not to get choked up by the sentiment.

Maybe this wasn't just about J'zargo. Maybe it was her own reincarnation, in a way. Breathing in some new life into the old. Feeling alive again. She needed that.

And maybe she didn't need obscure magic that would help her cling to the past that she had lost.

Maybe all this time, she just needed a friend.

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading!

I hope you have enjoyed Brelyna's story and its conclusion. Her character will still appear occasionally in the main fic, but her personal story is over.

And as always, if you have any suggestions or requests for another character's story, lay them on me ;) I will consider them and see if I can scribble something up. Or maybe some of them are already included or planned for the main fic too ;)

Thank you again and I hope you'll all continue to enjoy the main fic :)