A/N: Another heavily changed chapter. If you are an old reader, I am so close! Hang in there! If you are new, welcome to a mess of a story. Sorry that it isn't perfect but I want it to be better and not primarily focus on a love story, which I don't know how to write without something going on.

Please leave a comment, a question and a thought!

Chapter 31: The Conversation

June 15th:

I open my eyes to see the tiles of the hospital.

I sigh, man this is dumb. I should be figuring out what is going on with the group, looking into Mako's mind to get anything about him. I am leading this mission and I need to do my part about it, since I just spent a while knocked out in a cave. I am clearly behind in planning and now I have to figure out a way to get information on the group since I no long have direct contact with them other than Mako.

I glance around the room and I find myself in eye contact with brown eyes.

"Glad to see that you are awake," Shikamaru comments.

I snicker, "Glad to be awake."

"Are you going to go on about having to talk to Kakashi or are you going to listen to me?" Shikamaru question.

I glare at him. Should I request to talk to lord sixth or listen to what Shikamaru has to tell me? I need to tell lord sixth about the cave and everything that happened in the dreams. I also need to discuss possible strategies with him. But, what is there to actually tell him? I am sure Shikamaru has told him everything that is important to say about what happened. I look around and see that lord sixth is not in the room, so I could request to speak to him in an hour; but right now is a good time to figure out what Shikamaru wants to tell me.

I was never ordered to work with Shikamaru.

"I will speak with him in an hour, but till then I will listen to you," I reply.

Shikamaru pauses for a moment. Getting ready to tell me. I don't know what he is trying to tell me. But I want to know so I can figure everything else out.

"Alright," Shikamaru says, "First off, what are you working on?"

I look away from him, I know where this is going and I do not want to go there. I mean, I know but I had to get away or else Mako would have… no. I cannot let my emotions get the better of me today. I need to shut down again and look at this from a calm point of view to figure everything out.

I didn't know help was on the way. I didn't know how long I had been out. But there are a lot of things that I needed to figure out.

"Something beyond what you're cleared for," I manage.

"I'm high enough, tell me," Shikamaru spits.

Man, this kid is annoying. Doesn't he know when to stop. I would rather have Kiba here than Shikamaru. Now I know I'm not dreaming. This Shikamaru is abrasive and needs to know. I don't like that.

"Than talk with Lord Sixth. But believe me, you don't. End of discussion" I state.

"No, not end of discussion. I came and saved you, therefore, I should know something." Shikamaru counters.

Logical. But not the point. Shikamaru doesn't know anything. He knows me only because he and Kiba saw me. Nothing else. I know this. Shikamaru knows this. And surely Lord Sixth knows this. No way would Lord Sixth let Shikamaru know anything about the group. Not after everything that just happened.

"Wrong. Nothing can be said to you. You should already know this." I state.

"Kakashi told me something about what was happening when I was assigned to rescue you." Shikamaru says.

"Doesn't mean I have to tell you anything." I comment.

Shikamaru only looks at me. I wonder what's going on through his head than realize I don't care. I haven't cared for anyone since I was little, and when I did I felt helpless. I cared about the village only to be helpless with helping. Instead I was caught.

I liked Shikamaru, but that Shikamaru left and the one sitting in front of me is all I have. Someone I can't stand. Someone I shared nothing more than a few encounters with. That is all.

Nothing else.

There will never be nothing else.

Shikamaru clicks his tongue, "Fine have it your way. I'll talk with Kakashi after then."

"Like that's not childish," I mummer.

He's going to Kakashi? I thought this was the guy who passed the Chunin exams at the age of 12 or 13. The only one in his class smart enough to understand the true meaning of being something other than a genin. I guess I was wrong when I advised Lord Third.

I shouldn't even be here it the problem. My clan should be here, or all of us should be gone. Not only one. I barely know anything about what my clan was like. Lord Third kept that information hidden from me until the day he died.

No, don't start down that path.

Shikamaru is the issue.

I would rather be in punishment than dealing with Shikamaru.

"Did you have any dreams?" Shikamaru finally asks.

"What do you mean by dreams Shikamaru?" I question.

I give him a look of confusion. This is odd, even for me. Dreams? That isn't a sudden change of topic.

I don't want to be doing this.

"Dreams that resulted in you thinking it was reality when it really wasn't," Shikamaru explains.

I pause, what is this suppose to mean? Did Shikamaru… there is no way he could have. This type of this only works on the person it is being casted on. Unless something went wrong? I have no idea how that could have happened though; I was the one under the spell, not him. I keep my face neutral as I think of what to say to him.

"Dreams; that seemed like reality? I guess you could say that, what significance does it hold though?" I look into his eyes.

I watch as they calculate what he should say next. I narrow my eyes, trying to figure out what is going on here. Clearly I am out of something and I need to be in it.

And that annoys me that Shikamaru knows more than I do at the moment.

"Care to share?" I finally ask.

Shikamaru takes a deep breath, "Dreams that seemed too good to be true. Stuff that you know wasn't real, but you wanted it to be real?"

I look around. I guess you can say I want connections. Even though they could be a waste of time. But I don't like the idea of building those things now. Not with being so…. Isolated. If anything I would have wanted my family around. Not falling in love.

Gross.

I need to ask Kakashi about the arranged marriage thing though. We need to start thinking about that.

"What kind of things did you see?" Shikamaru asks.

I stop, I have to fill him in. This has to do with the group, no matter what the group captured me and put me in a fake world. Which mean I should tell him, not the trivial matters though. Everything that happened with the group, me melting in those dreams was all part of the illusion.

No, I was never told to work with him. I don't have to say anything to him.

I don't want to.

But he could be asking as a friend.

Which Kakashi ordered me to do. Be Shikamaru and Kiba's friend. I have to follow those orders. I cannot go against them, even though I want to. I want to run away and go hide again. Like a kid. I want to run back to the village. To see Lord Third looking possibly worried. A lot of things happened. But I don't know what I can do about it.

Would a friend answer this question? From what Tenzo has said, yes. Therefore, I have to answer him.

"Well, that there was chakra inserted into me, I was tracked by the leader, eventually knocked out and before I actually woke up the leader had come into my room and we were getting ready to move," I say.

"I know that there is way more to it," Shikamaru comments.

I am taken aback by this, "What does that mean?"

"There were more interactions than just the group," Shikamaru leans against the wall.

I narrow my eyes at him, "Do you care to share?"

Shikamaru looks down at the ground. He doesn't seem to into sharing what is going on through his head. I sigh, I don't want to have ask him about it, only we are working on this group together now under Kakashi's orders. If it has to do with the group he needs to let me know about it, I could care less about the trivial matters right now. I need to put together this puzzle that is the group.

But how can I get the information out of him?

How he got it out of me.

If he knows something you should share it as a friend.

Maybe this is a new angle I can use to gather information. I need Shikamaru to tell me. He knows something I if it is of importance than I need to know about it as well.

"Please, as a friend," I finally say.

I hope this works. Or else the whole point of me having friends becomes useless again to me. At least this way I get something out of having friends, other than the getting to know each other thing. That is the worst part.

He sighs, "Well, there was a lot of interactions between you and me. It got to the point that I forgot that any of it was a dream since it felt so real. I mean, even the little ticks that the others do were there as well. Which made it harder to leave that dream and come back to reality in the morning. Unlike for you where it did become your reality."

I look at him, does this mean that he also had the same experiences? I shake my head, no. That cannot be possible. Ticks from the others? I mean they all had patterns, some that they did every day that I had been watching them. But if they were the same than he might know about Temari, something that hurt him in the dream.

But he knows. He knew before and didn't put it together. He isn't a good ninja.

I'm not a good ninja.

I'm not a good girl either.

No, I will not think about that. No way can I think about that right now. I need to focus. Shikamaru had dreams. Dreams where he learned about me, though most of his memories are fuzzy about what was said in those dreams. He isn't allowed to know about me. He can talk with me.

The block is still there.

No way can I be around anyone.

Learning about me is hard. And people who know me tend to not like me, at least that's what I've put together over the years.

"Then tell me this," I start, "Do you dislike me because of the dreams?"

Shikamaru holds eye contact with me, trying to understand what I am talking about. I know what I am say, it all comes back to Temari. The women he loved, heck, he still could love her for all I know. I'm the one who told the man from the sand to go after her. I know she rejected him shortly after that. But I know that he saw me for who I am, and not the robot. For someone who doesn't understand the social norms.

For that should be enough to cause dislike.

A dislike that could cause him to leave. That would be the best for me.

It's not like he cared about me anyway. He cares more about other things.

I am someone he will never care about.

"Tooru…" Shikamaru begins.

The door slides open. Kakashi walks in.

And he does not look happy.

I try to sit up but I feel the pain, but that doesn't matter, orders are orders when it comes to me. I must stand at attention when the Hokage is in the room. I am an obedient dog to the village, even willing to lay down my life if that what it comes to. Any command given to me I must follow.

And I did not follow an order.

Which means punishment.

"Well, glad to see you made it back Tooru," Kakashi sounds bored.

I do not speak, only look at him. If I feel the Hokage is mad I cannot speak unless I am asked a direct question. I have to hold eye contact with him as he told me what to do. Which normally makes it harder, but I learned to have a blank expression when talking to the Hokage. Nothing I can do about it though, even if I tried.

Kakashi sighs, "You broke the rules, and by the rules I have to punish you. I've thought about it and you will be placed in the small cell for a full day. Next time the rules are broken though it will increase to two days."

I look at him.

Not the small cell, even I cannot fit in there. Last time I was in there for half a day and I was in this weird position and I could barely breathe. A full day in there? That little cell will hold me for a full day, this is an extreme punishment, but I did mess up badly this time. I know that he has thought about this since he figured I was taken. I have no idea how I will be coming out of the small cell, but I know that small cell will force me to close up.

Solidary conferment, no way of knowing the time. And I would have to reflect on my actions. Last time I was not allowed to sleep, maybe I could sleep for a few hours. But knowing the harshness that lord third placed on punishment I am not hopeful about it. The punishment will start soon, almost too soon.

"Let's go Tooru, it is time," Kakashi says.

I struggle to get out of bed but I manage. I sneak a glance at Shikamaru as I get up, I see the look of anger and frustration on his face. I can't blame him, I never told him about the punishments that I face when I mess up.

But, this is an order. I can't disobey.

I know I look wobbly on my feet but a look form Lord Kakashi and I focus all my energy to standing upright. I have to go back to being perfect. I can't slip up again.

"Wait, Kakashi," Shikamaru's voice is near, "She can't go anywhere, she still needs to rest and heal up."

Kakashi turns to Shikamaru, "She has to have this done now, I would have done it sooner but she was sleeping. This is something you have not learned about and maybe later you will learn about it Shikamaru. Even the Leaf has dark secrets."

Kakashi turns and walks. I can't even see the expression on Shikamaru's face, but I know that he is worried.

But he shouldn't be. I shouldn't even care. I follow Kakashi, ready for the punishment, knowing I failed once again.