A/N: AHHH, redoing these later chapters is really hard for me. Mostly because the character development is going to be slower and hopefully become more organic. At least that's the hope. But it's taking me forever to figure this out. I want to get back to updating but I want to build up my buffer again and post regularly. Hopefully that will happen. Sorry this is taking a really long time but in a few weeks I am going on a really long road trip and I can write a lot in that time. Also edit the story to make sure everything is good.

Sorry for the long announcement. Please leave a comment, a thought or a question! I want to know peoples thoughts!

Chapter 33: A Hard Time

June 19th

I am walking back to mine and Tenzo's house from the market.

It has been a few days since I was placed in the small cell. I don't feel any less robotic, if anything I have remembered why I was so robotic in the first place. I am back to getting maybe two hours of sleeping a night. I can feel my mind slipping back into the one where I know my surroundings I just don't care about it unless I am told to pay attention to it or something feels off. I don't need to waste my time on trivial matters. There is no point to things that don't matter.

I feel no point to sighing like I did in the dream. It was pointless. Everything from the dream was pointless. None of it was real. Everyone avoids me, or I ignore them. I don't want to try, I want to focus. The dream died when I was put in that small cell.

I know that part of me is something I can never have, no matter who comes. Sure I had feelings for Shikamaru, but now those feelings are gone. I have no reason to feel anything toward him.

I am only a pawn in the village. I have no family and no one wants to be my family. Naruto is someone who could have been, but I cannot allow myself to be sucked into another empty promise. Promises are something that are meaningless to me now, no one will ever stay and eventually Naruto will have to do these things, punishments and giving me missions.

This is a cycle that cannot be broken by any one. No point in trying. We need to keep going with the system that is in place, nothing will work better.

Everything but the group is pointless. The rat is still roaming around the village and I need to find them. They know who I am by now so they should be avoiding me like crazy, or coming up to me in a manner that should make me feel ill. Either way, I am a target to them and I am the best bait to get them to show their face inside of the village. Maybe I should plant something is Lord Sixth office just so they can find me.

That would be less work for me. Plus I stay on guard around the clock, should be an easy plan to follow.

I pause, I need to think it over with Lord Sixth. Though, there is no fault in the plan that I can see. Besides from what I know about him he should want the easiest way to take out this group. No need to get crazy about it if all we need is some fake papers on a desk to have to sources of information.

Which reminds me I need to have a nice long talk with Mako. I am sure he could teach me a trick or two about this group that is hiding so well from us. I need to know the information that he is hiding. I think I know how to get it out of him.

Finally I open my eyes.

I am almost home.

Good, I can sit and plan this before I talk to Lord Sixth about this. I need to fully talk to him about what I think they could be planning. It's not like I have anything else to do. Might as well make the best of my time before I have to take a rest.

I actually really hate rest though, looking back I think he made a bad move giving me rest. I never feel rested. Resting is the worst thing for me, I need to be working. I don't need to be relaxing, that takes away from me being productive. Resting is pointless.

Work is more important.

I walk up to the house I can feel a few people are inside. I sigh, this might be pointless but I do need to put away the food. Besides, I live here, so they should get out so I can get some work done.

I don't understand people. Wanting to talk about small things, not the big picture.

I hate this. I want to be alone. Tenzo has been leaving me alone. And so has Lord Sixth. I think they are friends of Tenzo so I will just stay in y room. No need to make myself known to everyone.

I am still a shadow.

I open the door and see Tenzo standing in the entrance. From my dreams I am going to assume he is mad. But what good is it for me to assume anything? I could get into some major trouble that way.

"Tooru, glad you're home," Tenzo says, he has a stern look on his face.

I keep my face neutral, "Glad to be back."

"Care to explain why Shikamaru and Kiba are here?" Tenzo asks.

"I have no clue," I say taking off my shoes, "They came here without me knowing. Do you have someone here?"

I stand up and face Tenzo, man he is upset by this. I wonder what has him all mad. But, I realize:

I don't really care.

So long as this conversation is over with soon so I can get to work. I could care less why Shikamaru and Kiba are, let alone why it is making the person I live with so mad; it is trivial. Nothing is important to me.

I don't care why he is mad. I care that it is cutting into my work time.

Work time that I lost by being taken, in the hospital and being punished. My time is important and my brain does not need these people distracting me when they could be doing better things.

"Yes I do, Anko and I are planning something," Tenzo finally says.

"Why are you planning something with Anko?" I grill.

I don't have time for this. I should be cleaning and making sure everything is okay. It is out in the open that I can no long spy on the group and I have to meet with the Mako guy and question him or pull information out of him by force.

Besides, what is so important with Anko? Are they going on a mission soon? Maybe they should plan elsewhere and not at home. I only work here because I was told to do all my work at home, plus I never got an office like Shikamaru. So I have no other way to work on the group. Beside, home has always felt more like a work space than a place I can relax.

"Because…" Tenzo's face begins to go red.

"I see," I say pushing past him and heading into the kitchen.

I don't understand him. He should know better.

I couldn't care less on who he gets involved with. It will be the destruction of him out on the field. I know that for a fact. I need none of that in my life, so I should just do my own work. It's not like I care that much about Tenzo anyway. He is someone that lady fifth made me live with, so I had to do what she said. Doesn't mean that I care.

In fact I dislike that Lady fifth made me live with someone. I don't need to be watched and I have ordered times to eat. I eat three times a day. I am about an hour from eating, so I need to cook, eat then talk to Mako.

I find Shikamaru and Kiba in there talking. They stop when they see that I have entered the room. I know my face is neutral and I don't dare say a word until I am spoken too. It is something once told to me. Never a command but it works for me not to get in trouble with anyone.

"Tooru!" Kiba shouts.

"You don't have to shout," I say, putting the food on the counter to put away.

I hate when people shout. I find it annoying. And Kiba is already getting on my nerves, the very little that I have. I don't know why they are here. I want them to leave though. I need to update Shikamaru on the plan and move on.

"Gez... glad to see you too," Kiba snorts.

"What do you want?" I ask.

Today is not the day to be coming over. I am now really far behind in my work not to mention that I can no longer go and spy on the group, which means I won't be getting any good information. I need to focus on getting information then planning a few counter moves and some measures in case anything should go wrong. Shikamaru should know this yet he still comes here and acts like he can still be my friend? We are only working together, I have no need to make friends.

"We wanted to talk to you," Shikamaru cuts in.

"I'm busy today, wait for a little while," I retort, giving a slight hint that I do not want to play any games today.

"Well too bad," Kiba finally states.

I stop and turn toward him, a look of anger plays across my face for a moment. I have no need for this simple matter. I need them to leave. I cannot talk to Shikamaru with Kiba here.

I don't like this friend thing Lord Sixth is making me do. I don't like it. I want them out of my house and out of my life. But I can't do that because of Lord Sixth.

"Speak before you get kicked out," I speak in a monotone way.

I watch as Kiba and Shikamaru look back and forth at each other. I watch as Kiba stands up. Clearly this isn't going to be done with one word. This sucks, a lot. Taking up my time when I should be focused on the group.

"We wanted to talk about the first time the three of us meet," Kiba finally says.

"I find this a waste of time," I reply.

I turn away and begin to make something to eat.

"Tooru, you need to listen to us…" Shikamaru begins.

"Why should I? This has nothing to do with the group and this is pointless to me. I see no benefit from talking to you guys right now. The first time you guys meet me is nothing more than a memory. Something that I don't have time to remember with this group," I comment.

This causes Shikamaru and Kiba to both freeze. I see that they are taken aback by my words. I turn my head and I look Shikamaru dead in the eyes, I have no time for this I need to be doing other things, not sitting around talking to Kiba and Shikamaru about the first time that they meet me. Which should have never happened.

I shouldn't be standing here with them. I need to be doing other things.

Like going to talk with Mako.

Like how I should have been faster coming back to the village. Whatever they saw or think they know about me are lies.

I don't care.

I would kill them in a heartbeat if it meant the village would be safer.

"Look, the Tooru in your dreams is not me. This is who I am, now if you are done I need to go and do a few things before I begin some plans. The Tooru you thought that you knew is not here and I am before you now, trying to do other things that you cannot even begin to understand," I say.

"Tooru…" Shikamaru starts, "No, as a friend we need to talk."

"Ya! We want to make sure you're okay, you haven't come to hang out at all" Kiba says.

"You assume I care," I answer.

"I know you do," Kiba exclaims.

"No I don't I care about my mission, as far as you two go, you are only hinderances to the mission," I turn to them.

Shikamaru looks at me and Kiba keeps going, "You need to do something other than the mission. You are a human! Not this!"

"I am a tool, know your place," I say

"That's really all you think of yourself? A tool? Are you crazy?" Kiba questions.

At first I could tolerate Kiba more. Now, I can't stand being around either one of them. Why should they care so much? I am nothing special. I hide in the shadows. I shouldn't be having this conversation. I shouldn't even have friends.

I refuse to be dragged down to a state where I lose the focus I have worked so had to have.

Friends or not, they need to learn their place.

"I know my place n the village, it's about time that you learned yours. I don't care about you guys, I'm only doing this because it was asked of me." I answer.

I want them to leave. I hold eye contact with Kiba. I know he is worked up. I know this, but I don't care. What kind of shinobi lets their emotions get the better of them? None, that should always be the answer. It's what gets me in trouble and I don't need to learn bad habits from people who don't care enough to take precautions.

"Now leave before I leave," I hiss.

I turn around to clean the kitchen really quick. I hear the footsteps walking away and I feel relieved that they are leaving. Now that this crap is dealt with I can refocus and get back to the group. I know for a fact that this thing they are planning is going to throw the whole shinobi world off balance and it is a mess that I so not want to try to clean up. So I have to think of a way to get them to tell me what they are planning. Right now I only know of Mako, and seems like the best plan of action is to go visit him to see what I can find out.

I send a message to Lord Sixth:

Please meet me at I&T in 30 minutes. I would like to request to speak with Mako about the copy group.

Now all I can do is eat and get ready to go to Mako and get a missing puzzle piece or two.

Shikamaru:

"Come on Shikamaru! You save her and this is how she thanks you?" Kiba yells in my ear.

"Kiba, you heard her. She doesn't care about us," I state.

"But that doesn't mean we shouldn't help her! You know she needs it Shikamaru, I even know that, we need to talk to Kakashi about this." Kiba is being annoying today.

"Yes, we do. But that seems like pushing her into a corner. No way should we do that. I will go ask him about what she is working on. But I don't see that going anywhere," I retort.

Kiba stops and looks at me.

"Good, we need to figure this out…" Kiba trails off.

"Kiba," I begin, "Do you remember me telling you about the girl with green hair?"

Kiba looks around. I know he is trying to remember. I know about the time in the park. Where Choji and I first meet a girl with green hair, she went off with Lord Third, after that though we never saw her again. Which could be a stretch, but there is something that isn't adding up here.

Something that I need to know what happened.

Like with Temari, why she hide away from someone she truly cares about. When she told me no I accepted it and moved on. Nothing big. But I can't force feelings of other people. Time heals emotional wounds, its been months already, and I moved on with it.

The next day I asked Temari about it.

XX

I walk up to the office that was given to me once I became a jonin, I work alongside my father. It is a drag though, all the paper work I had to deal with. But that morning I woke up from a dream about Tooru, and the fact that she had talked to Temari about it. I have to know if it is true.

I opened the office and waited for her to come. Working on papers and looking at the defense system placed in the village, so far I could not find any faults. Sure we are at peace but that doesn't mean that there isn't any grudges among the villages still.

The same thing, money. Everyone worries about it.

After a few hour my door opened.

"Hey there pineapple head," Temari greets.

"Troublesome women," I reply.

We look at each other and smile. A greeting that has been going on too long to stop. I lean forward and look at her. But, no words will form. We should just talk about the exams but I need to talk to her about this first. The other guy though, she clearly wanted and I should not stop her. I know she loves him, I can see it in her eyes. But I know that anything that was said in the dream reflects reality.

"Something you want to talk about Nara?" She asks.

"Yes, something has been bothering me since this morning," I finally say after a moment.

I watch Temari shift in her seat. Maybe she already knows what I want to say, she is one of the few people who can read me like a book.

But Temari is good at reading me. That's why we remain best friends. We know each other. I mean, romantic feelings are gone on both sides. Still doesn't mean that talking about us romantically isn't weird. In fact, I wish I could avoid it, but something is telling me not to.

I take in a breath, "Why did you reject me?"

Temari looks down at her hands, "Why do you ask?"

I raise an eyebrow, "I think I can handle whatever you have to tell me. Besides, it's better to hear it than read it, it might clear the air."

Temari knows I'm right. I know I'm right in asking it. A letter is one thing, gave both of us time to process the feeling and gave me time to think it through. And looking back I know that there are so many little things I ignored. And I shouldn't have. I wanted her, but maybe it wasn't the time.

Man what a drag. Relationships are complicated.

Temari finally sighs, "Fine, but I don't think you will like it Shikamaru. A year ago the girls wanted to have a day will I was here, so I went. You knew that because we were still in a weird limbo at the time. I made it to the bathhouse and the lady at the desk said that I would have to wait for a bath to open since we wanted a privet bath for the five of us. So she told me one would open up soon and I may have rushed in there. I got in there and I see a girl in there, green hair and her eyes were closed. I got in and since it was on my mind I talk to her. Listen, Shikamaru," Temari pauses, looking up from her hands, "I had been thinking about it for a long time, and I didn't want to hurt you. But I just didn't feel the same way as you did. I wanted the other man more. So I rejected your feelings I guess I was too scared to do it because I didn't want to hurt you. I mean, with everything going on with the others I didn't want to hurt you anymore than the world already had. So she told me to follow my heart, but she seemed to be saying the words automatically."

I look at Temari, so it is true. But, now that only leads to more questions. This is such a drag. But I know that it wasn't a lie.

The girl with green hair. Naruto mentioned her in Kakashi's office the other day. I guess I need to start looking into her more. I only know she is in ANBU, but that's it.

"How long had you been thinking about it?" I question.

"A while, you gave me as much time as I needed to think about it," Temari replies right away.

"Quick answer," I state.

Temari smirks, "You are still too easy to read crybaby. I knew you would ask me a dumb question like that."

"Beside the point," I grumble, "That girl gave you the push that you needed to go for this man and reject me. So why a letter?"

"Because it was easier. I didn't want to leave my friends here behind and I guess but I know I can always come and hang out," Temari shrugs.

I glare at her, "You know that you guys are always welcomed here. Once Kakashi took over that should have been clear as day."

"I know," Temari starts, "But it was still a fear."

I look at her, there is a blush across her face, "Are you happy?"

Temari looks at me surprised by my questions. After a moment she nods. I smile, happy that she has someone she cares about so much. And the air lightens after the conversation. I knew it would and we go back to the way we talked before feeling developed.

"Then, that's all that matters here," I pause, "Now for the exams…"

XX

"The girl with the green hair?" Kiba ask, Akamaru barks next to him.

I pause, "Yes, I think I mentioned her one. Though Choji would know more. But he's been busy with his girlfriend. Anyway, do you remember her?"

"Not really, I mean Tooru has green hair, but that shouldn't be…" Kiba pauses, "Wait, you think Tooru is that girl?"

"Could be, no way to know for sure until I get an actual conversation with her, and not about simple things" I answer.

Kiba snorts but keeps walking. I know he is mad. I am too. Something isn't adding up here. And that doesn't sit well with me. I know it doesn't sit well with Naruto.

"So than what's the plan oh great master?" Kiba questions.

"Talk with Kakashi and see what she does next. I don't have the information I would like, but I need to get something." I answer.

Kiba snorts, "Fine, I'll help since Tooru is also my friend. Should we see if Temari and her boyfriend want to grab lunch?"

I nod, not a bad idea.

Speak of the devil. Temari turns the corner holding hands with the guy from the sand. I look at her and see how happy she is. I can't help but smile a little. I always wanted that look from her, but never got it. But, that's all in the past now.

Besides I heard Kiba got his ass kicked the other day by Temari in training. Not only that but her boyfriend also beat him. In the dream I think Tooru was talking with him about how to be stronger.

Temari spots us, "Kiba, and Pineapple head in one place someone pinch me. I must be dreaming."

Kiba looks away. I glance over at him, I know he is still butt hurt about her. But I shouldn't bring it up. So I won't.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Well, I do still have to help you, and Akio wanted to come a visit. So Kakashi is letting me show him around," Temari explains.

"Oh, you're Shikamaru. Temari has told me a lot about you. I am actually really sorry about everything that has happened," Akio turns to Kiba who is glaring at him.

Akio and Temari turn to me, I shrug, "No point, he still is hurt."

"Well crybaby, what do you have to finish?" Temari finally asks.

I pounder this for a moment, "Just the scoring and tweaking a few things that could cause any problems for the genin taking the test. Not to mention getting the approval from Gaara and Kakashi."

"Should we work on that now?" Temari chimes in.

"We can over lunch, I know Kiba wants to spar again with you guys." I say.

Temari allows for us to lead the way and we head to one of Choji's family places.

Kiba and Aiko are talking about fighting styles and animals.

I'm still working out options in my head. I mean, I almost lost my father in the war. We lost a lot of people in the war.

Why am I thinking about the war? Think, what does the war hold that you have no idea about? There has to be something about the war I'm missing.

If Naruto hadn't stood in he way of Hinata, Hinata would have died, but Neji got in front of them. But a girl with green hair was there. She sank away from us fighting and went to help them. So, she was there in the war.

My memory is fuzzy about her, but I know she was there. Only for that second, but she was there. She has been in the village since she was little but now she has something. I don't know what it is. She acts like Saskue when we were younger. After everything happened. And no one pays attention to her like how people treated Naruto. But what is the point of this?

"You know, I can hear you thinking Nara," Temari comments.

"I'm always thinking," I complain, "The curse of the Nara men."

"But what are you thinking about this time?" Temari asks.

A lot. That's the problem. Maybe I should find Choji and talk with him about it. Though Temari is my best friend as well. She could help me. And she could get information just as well as I can.

What still bugs me is how alone this girl is. By this point she should have made at least one friend. But she hasn't, which is odd. She doesn't seem to want to do anything. She argues and refuses to accept anything.

Not to mention she gets punished?

I don't even know what for, but she does. Nothing changes that.

There are so many things.

"Well Shikamaru?" Temari asks, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"I want to find out about someone but I don't know how," I confess.

Temari raises an eyebrow at me, "Oh"

I snicker. I know I sound crazy, we get to the place and sit down. We order food, we listen to Kiba and Aiko going back and forth.

"We should do a large training!" Kiba exclaims.

"That sounds like a great idea," Akio agrees.

Doesn't seem like a bad idea at all. I mean, it would be nice. All of us are chunin at least, most of us are Jonin. Since we don't have a lot of missions, helping out the genin is the easiest thing to do. And even then, Shino is the only one who works with them since he is trying to become a teacher.

I never thought he would, but he should be good.

"Agreed, we can meet up in a little while too." I comment.

"Going to do some digging crybaby?" Temari asks.

"Ya, before I get bored or it gets to be too much work," I answer.

Kiba and Temari look at me. I don't normally do this, but something isn't adding up. Maybe I should go and talk with my father about this. He might help me way more than when I was younger.

He should be in his office. And by that I mean he should be taking a nap in his office. Couldn't hurt to try at least.

"I should get going," I say.

"Alright, we can meet up later tonight alright?" Kiba asks.

"Ya ya, I'll be there," I turn to Aiko, "Nice to finally meet you. We should hang out again sometime."

I mean it. This guy can take on Kiba, not a huge milestone, but for how big Kiba talks its nice to see him being taken down a notch or two. And it helps that it's someone as strong as Aiko, shows how the Leaf and the Sand will remain friends.

I know there are a lot of things. I wave and head to the office. I need to sort this out.

Tooru was cold, way cold. She acted like Saskue when he lost his family. Saskue didn't want anyone around and that was why most of us didn't try to help him. Saskue was bent on revenge. But something about how Tooru acts reminds me about that Saskue. Even now, Saskue acts like that at times, but he understands now what having friends means.