Mirage

A/N: If I can remember it correctly, the last multi-chapter fanfiction I wrote took me months to update each chapter. Two years have passed and I still haven't finished it. Hahaha. I hope this one will take a very different turn. Anyway, hey guys. Here's Chapter five. Enjoy!

Summary: Humanity's strongest soldier had secrets of his own. So when the woman he loved died, he turns on another for pure companionship and comfort. But a night of mistake has its consequences. Levihan.

CHAPTER FIVE: LUMINOUS

Levi's eyes cracked open. He glanced at the window and caught sight of the slightly darkened sky, its contour now traced by some portion of light. Judging by the way the clouds hovered and the current hue of the horizon, he figured it was just the break of dawn. A beautiful, peaceful moment that seemed like a reminder that after the shady and shadowy stagnation, the sun will still rise to illuminate the world.

He continued gazing and marvelling about the sky, not moving an inch but while he was completely in awe of the beauty he saw by the window, he suddenly felt the slow breathing beside him. Covered entirely by the blanket they shared, Hange still seemed to be asleep as her figure moved up and down slowly beneath the sheets.

The Lance Corporal bit his lip before deciding to gently flip the blanket off and reveal the indeed, still sleeping form of the woman he now called his wife. While she had her eyes still closed and was still oblivious to what's happening around her, Levi took the chance to stare at Hange's face. Her small mouth was slightly agape, her long lashes framed her shut lids. Her nose was pointed to perfection, not that he hadn't noticed it before, but as a matter of fact it was the first thing that drew his attention to her. Her dishevelled hair was still tied into a lose ponytail and how he wished she had taken the tie off, just so he could finally see her hair down.

As Levi completely pondered the woman before her, he perceived the innocence that was encompassed in her being. She looked so innocent that the horrifying things that she had seen in this world weren't mirrored in her face. That beneath the rather childish and enthusiastic demeanour, a woman with an unrivalled passion and determination was hiding inside her.

He had always mused about how only a few people actually knew the real Hange Zoe – that even though she is normally deemed as insane due to her obsession with the Titans and other soldiers even thought she had a few screws lose in her head, Hange hides her true emotions. Just like Erwin, Mike, Nanaba, Nifa, and the other veterans of the Survey Corps, even Levi himself, they wear different masks. The first mask, the one they show to the world. The second mask, the one they show to each other as colleagues, and the third mask, the one they tried to keep to themselves, which is the truest reflection of who they are.

Hange's first and second masks rarely slip to the third, but when they do, it's heartbreaking. In all the times they went through together, Levi had seen all three.

As he continued to contemplate his own thoughts, realization suddenly struck his head. One that had never even crossed his mind, until now. Until this moment when their bond has become more intimate than it was before.

Damn. She was beautiful. Not the headturner type, but she was beautiful in her own way.

He cursed himself for not noticing it before. But come to think of it though, the first time they met, she was this tall woman with barely no shape at all. Her profile was lanky and if the little mounds on her chest didn't show off every time she stretches, he would have thought she was actually a he. She also wore men's clothes until just recently, when maybe she finally had the urge to wear clothes that actually fitted her body.

And yesterday, for the first time ever, Levi saw her wearing a dress. The way she walked and stiffened each time she moved gave him the impression that she was shy to show more of her than she normally does.

Levi once again grabbed the blanket, gently shoved it down and saw that Hange was still wearing the said dress. She never did bother to change as she was probably so tired from the festivities yesterday, and last night the moment her back touched the bed she was completely a goner. Her body curled like a ball beside him and a few minutes later, Levi heard her soft snoring. He didn't know when he'd fallen asleep but he stayed up and listened to Hange's slow breathing, thinking that he should get used to having someone laying with him in bed, and wake with the same person each morning.

He got up from the bed and ran his fingers through his dark hair before moving to get ready for the day. As usual, he grabbed some clothes from his cabinet and went off to take a bath. Once finished, he slipped on his clothes, attached his cravat in place, and wore his Survey Corps jacket.

The short man glanced at the sleeping form of Hange. The blanket which previously covered her body has now fallen on the floor. The hem of the dress she wore has been tugged up and her long legs were bluntly exposed to his sight. The sleeves of her dress had also fallen off her shoulders, and he saw a small portion of her cleavage.

Levi tilted his head to his side and twitched his nose. He walked towards the bed and picked up the blanket from the floor, his head still to his side so as not to see Hange's exposed skin. Draping the sheets over her body, the Lance Corporal hurried off outside and closed the door gently behind him, letting out the breath that he had been holding for long. He felt his face flustering with heat but he shrugged it off.

He shouldn't be feeling these things about her. After all, he'd already seen every dear thing she kept, so why is he still fussing about it?

Levi walked along the hallway and noticed that the whole place was still quiet, mainly because of yesterday's festivities. He seemed to be the only one awake but as he neared the cafeteria, the delicious scent of cooked meat hit his nostrils. His stomach made an unidentified sound that was a cross between a growl and roar. He entered the cafeteria and went straight to where the cooks are preparing the foods.

"Good morning, Captain Levi!" Miles, one of the cooks blurted out as Levi walked inside. He sat on one of the chairs and grabbed himself a cup of tea.

"Good morning," Levi managed to choke out. He looked around the kitchen and spotted Grace, Miles' wife, chopping some vegetables before her. "The rooks must've had a good night, all of 'em are still knocked down, I presume."

"Yeah, they had a nice treat alright. But it was a small thing, really. We don't often have celebrations here, and everyday we deal with death and loss. What's a little party to compensate for all the sad times, huh, what do you say, Captain?" the old man had a smile on his face as he helped his wife chop the vegetables on the table. "But I'm pretty sure you too had a nice time last night. Congratulations on your wedding," Miles once again flashed his teeth at Levi and scurried off to take the chopped vegetables and pour them on the boiling pot of soup.

Levi snorted, but he managed to crack a small smile at the man anyway.

Grace moved closer to him a few seconds later, a tray on her hands. It contained a pot of tea and some bread. "Please, Captain, take this to your wife. This will help her,"

Levi raised a brow but held out his hands to accept the tray. "Help her with what?"

The woman placed both her hands on her hips after placing the tray on the man's hands. "Oh, you didn't know? Your wife's already pregnant, Captain. A cup of tea will help her get through the morning sickness."

"I didn't know you knew about my wife's condition, but thank you." He still felt a little awkward at saying 'my wife', but he figured he might as well just get used to it, too. Just like all the other things.

Grace smiled at him. "Ms. Hange has been going in here for a weeks, asking me for some medicine to cure her sickness. All I can offer her is tea. I thought she'd come later but since you're already here, you might as well just be the one to take it to her."

Levi nodded his head, and headed off to his room. While walking he suddenly realized that people around the Legion might have already known that Hange is already pregnant, but right now, he didn't care. He practically had no idea about Hange's current condition, as they rarely talked the last few days. And when they did, it was only for a short period of time and only about their arrangement. He never bothered to ask about her pregnancy but he did bring her food when he deemed it necessary.

He went straight to his – their – room and opened the door only to find the untidy bed empty. The bed was still unmade and the covers were thrown back with one of the pillows lying on the floor. He placed the tray in the bedside table and went to the bathroom where he finally found Hange.

"Shitty Gla-, Hange! What the hell are you doing, slumping here on the bathroom floor?"

"Go away," she managed to croak out. Her head was resting on her arm, placed at the edge of the toilet seat.

"What the hell is the matter with you?"

Hange groaned, growing impatient. "Please, shorty. Just leave me alone."

"You have to get up, Hange, come on," he held out his hand for her to grab on to.

"I can't, Levi. I tried. But each time I make the slightest move I feel really nauseated. I figured I should just stay here just in case I throw up again."

"So what, you're just going to stay here the whole day? That's the best you could come up with?" he uttered coldly.

Hange started to move her head to lock her eyes with him. "What, you have something better in mind? I could sure use it. Where have you been anyway?"

"Look, that doesn't matter. I have tea and some crackers for your morning sickness. Move your ass, come on," he crossed his arms before his chest as Hange once again rested her head against her arm and closed her eyes. "Don't sleep in here, Shitty Glasses. I said move!"

"I've told you, I can't move! And I don't want to! I'd like to stay here a bit." She murmured.

Levi pursed his lips, now feeling a little irritated at the hardheaded woman. He was sure she was always quite like this, but with her pregnancy, it became worse. "You stubborn brat. You'll give everyone here a hard time," he knelt down beside her. "Put your arm around my neck."

"I did not ask for your help," Hange sneered.

Levi clicked his tongue. "You need it."

Hange mumbled an unintelligible sound, but looked up to meet his eyes. He could see the hesitance in her face but she immediately shoved the expression as she gently and discreetly anchored her arm around his nape. Levi placed his arm under her thighs as support while he lifted her up from the floor. She buried her face on the crook of his neck.

"If you throw up on me, I'll drop you on the floor," he groaned as Hange rubbed her mouth against his cravat. "That's wicked filth!"

"If you ever drop me, I'll vomit on every precious thing you have," she giggled. "Let's see how the Clean Freak in you will react, Captain Shorty."

"Stop your blabbering nonsense," his feet started moving. He noticed that for a woman, Hange seemed to have put on a lot of weight, must be all from the training they do. "For someone as slim as you are, you're quite heavy." Levi uttered as he made his way out of the bathroom and into their quarters, with Hange on his arms.

Hange hit his shoulders but winced in pain as her palm made contact with the rock-hard part of his body. She should've known better. "Shut up. I'm not a single person here. I'm carrying your child, remember?"

"So he's the one causing all the fuss here, correct? But it's not as if he would weigh that much already. It's only been like, a month since he was conceived, you idiot." he said as he gently put Hange down on the bed, the mattress giving in to her weight. "How far along are you, anyway?"

She stared at him wide-eyed, reflecting on his previous words and musing about his reference to their child, which he only did now. She was also taken aback to hear him query about her pregnancy. Hange watched as he grabbed the teapot and poured some tea into a cup. He sat on the opposite side of the bed and handed the cup to her.

She quickly did a mental calculation. "I was in my third week when I discovered I'm pregnant and it had already been a full month since then. So seven weeks… Nearing the eighth, I think." Hange sipped on her tea before turning back to him to ask something she'd been dying to know the answer to. "So… you think it's a boy, then?"

He was silenced by her question, but contemplated it. A boy? He didn't really know. He hadn't thought about it, anyway, as he was so busy thinking through plans with Erwin, and his marriage with Hange. The idea that they were simply doing this for the sake of the child had maybe slipped from his mind that he rarely thought about it. "I don't know," he looked her straight in the eye.

She thought of telling him about his reference earlier but she dismissed the thought, as he probably said it unconsciously. Hange sipped in her tea again.

"How do you feel?" Levi asked out of the blue a few minutes later.

She ran her fingers through her dishevelled hair. "Quite better now, but still a little dizzy,"

"Why don't you just stay here the whole day and rest?"

A frown crossed her features. "Honestly, Levi. I'll be fine. This is nothing. I have some paperworks to tend to after all," She grabbed her glasses from the bedside table and put them on.

Levi snorted. "You don't have press yourself so hard on your research. It'll just tire you up,"

Hange glanced up at him from her cup. She held out her hand to grab the piece of bread that he had offered her. "I'll be fine, we'll be fine…" she smiled at him, to which he only returned a pout.

Levi had changed a lot over the weeks, Hange thought. There were now things he did that really showed he had maybe begun to accept the fact that she was pregnant, and there's no turning back now. They are married and expecting a child in a few months. She knew it was terribly hard on Levi's part to marry her but he did it anyway, and that's a clear evidence that he cared for the baby. She damn well knew that he was just forced to tie himself to her, and wouldn't have done so had they been in a very different situation. Levi is a man of his word, she had long known that, and she admired him for his attitude.

And Hange also knew, even if he was determined to keep it a secret, that he and Erwin had plans of getting the favour of the Higher ups to have their marriage be dissolved right after the child is born. The goal is to convince them that both he and Hange are assets to the Scouting Legion and that their loss will have a great impact in the attempt to kill off every Titan in existence. They also had to assure them that she and Levi could manage to take care of the child even if they weren't legally bound to each other.

"Don't tell her about this, Erwin,"

"Are you sure? Levi, she has the right to know,"

"I'll be the one to tell her. In the right time, I will."

She heard him and Erwin talking about it the other day, and she didn't know why, but she was a little hurt to realize that Levi didn't really want to be with her. Even if she knew about his revulsion to their current arrangement, the pain of the realization that their marriage is all for show, still hit her hard.

She really didn't know why. But it hurt like hell.

Right now, before their marriage even got dissolved, she hoped that somehow, Levi would still grow to care for the child inside her, so that after they separated, he would still want to become a part of the child's life. Hange didn't believe in the idea of a happy family, knowing the kind of world they lived in, but if Levi could at least show that he cared for his child, and still maintain a strictly civil relationship with its mother, it would be more than enough for her.

She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't notice that Levi was muttering something to her. Hange glanced up at him and saw that his eyebrows were furrowed. "I'm sorry, what was that about?"

The man gritted his teeth. "I said you stink," Levi stood up and headed for the door. "Get up once you feel fine and for God's sake, please take a bath."

The sun was shining brightly in that early morning in Trost District. The city was buzzing with people from different status, all doing their own business just like they did any other day.

But the moment they heard the loud steps of the horses approaching, everyone were rendered silent and speechless as the main force of the Survey Corps, all dressed in the glory of their uniforms and green capes, paraded through the road. The bells from the high tower rang, signalling their impending departure into the world beyond the walls.

This was their first expedition since the 57th where they encountered a Female Titan along the way. The casualty rate in that mission was high, and Erwin, with the help of Hange, had revised their military tactics to reduce the number of death in the next mission. Enough blood was spilled that day, they lost countless lives and nobody wanted that tragedy again – even if death seemed like the only thing that is inevitable.

Their supposed mission was postponed a month ago because of Levi and Hange's wedding but now it's finally pushing through. Hange didn't want to be left alone and insisted to Erwin that she's only two months pregnant and is not even showing yet, but the Commander and even her husband dismissed her pleas.

It's not that she wanted to see a Titan or fight one so badly, she just worried about her husband venturing into the enemies' territory – and die, even if that seemed like a funny and ridiculous idea. She wanted to blame the pregnancy, she knew her hormones were just turning up and causing her to get so sensitive and affectionate all the time, but hell, who would want their husband to die anyway? Levi may be the strongest soldier alive, but he isn't invincible.

"Try not to get yourself killed while I'm gone, Shitty Glasses." Levi said coldly. From where Hange was standing, she could clearly see that the man's grip the horse's harness saddle was tight.

He may not admit it, but he worried about her, too. Hange could be a mess. Even if the morning sickness had stopped, she rarely eats; only does if Levi brought her food and persuades her to do so. And as a compensation for just being on desk duty, she pressed herself so hard unto paperworks. Levi had ordered Moblit to look after her and the man had agreed to do so, but Levi was sure that he could be an underdog to his Squad Leader and will find it hard to care for the stubborn woman.

"I should be the one telling you that," she sighed. "Be careful out there." Hange raised her hand to wave. The urge to walk towards him and kiss him goodbye suddenly nagged at her mind but she shook her head to clear her mind off the idea. Hormones, again.

The main gates of the wall opened and the soldiers prepared themselves. As usual, the Commander was at the front lines to lead the way but soon they will switch into the long-range scouting formation that he himself devised.

With Hange being left for the first time, Levi assumed her position beside Erwin. Mike was on the other side.

"Advance!" Erwin roughly yelled. His face a mask of fierceness and determination. "We will now begin the 58th expedition beyond the walls! Onward!"