"Ah, Yūhi-san," Shiranui Genma welcomed her at the entrance desk. "Your uncle asked me to fetch you as soon as you arrived and lead you to his office."

"O-okay," she answered, a bit taken aback. She had almost never stepped into the Hokage's office. It was now Shikaku's territory, but everything was still tainted by Hiruzen's many years in the seat, from sake bottles in a glass cabinet – Shikaku hated alcohol – to the bō exposed as a reminder of glorious days past. All the pictures, too, belonged to the old man, showing his Genin team, his students, his successor. Nothing could lead anyone to believe that a Nara had taken over the Tower, aside from the half-slumped shape in the chair behind the desk.

"Hitomi-chan," he greeted her with a nod. "Approach."

She did as she was told, her red eyes stopping on the stark shadows under his eyes and the left side of his chin, where a new scar ran. Who had managed to wound him? Probably someone incredibly strong and warped. Shikaku wasn't the kind to be taken by surprise. "Shikaku-ojisan, you wanted to speak to me? Do you need me to do anything?"

She was standing on the other side of the desk now, her eyes nervously stuck to her hands. The waves of energy emanating from the man couldn't be qualified as killing intent, but it was intent nonetheless, willpower turned tangible by the high concentration of chakra around his body. It made her want to bow before him, to show her throat and make herself as tiny and non-threatening as possible. She knew that he wouldn't ever even think about hurting her, but that wasn't enough to totally cancel the effects of his presence when war breathed down his neck.

"Yes. The lists… There are names you'll recognise on them. I know things have been hard for you recently and I wanted to be sure you wouldn't be alone when you learn about them."

Hitomi's heart stopped for a moment. People she knew. On the lists. She was afraid, suddenly, wanted to disappear again, the need so striking it made her chakra react, spring alive inside her, ready to make her shunshin away. Stupid instinct. She breathed deeply once, twice, thrice, forced the muscles on her shoulders to relax, then bent over the desk, her eyes riveted to the old, smooth dark wood. "I understand, ojisan. I'm ready for them now."

"No, kiddo, you aren't. It's gonna be years before you're ready for such things. However, we don't have years before us. Here they are. Take your time."

With a slight bow, the girl took the two bundles of paper he was handing her. She started with the list of missing people. Indeed, several names were familiar to her. She almost choked on her anxiety when she saw the name of a child she knew, Nara Anosuke. He was one of her youngest cousins, a first-year Academy student, in Abumare Sugi and Hyūga Hanabi's group. The paper shook in her grip. If he had fallen in Orochimaru's hands…

She closed her eyes for a moment so she could push back her anxiety and the tears threatening to spill from her eyes, then put the now crumpled stack of paper between an ink bottle and a photograph. Shikaku was staring at her, his eyes softened by compassion. She felt two ANBU's chakra hiding in the shadow of the room, ready to defend their new master at the first sign of a threat. For their benefit or perhaps her own safety, she got herself back together.

"I-I'm ready for the other list now." Her voice was a hoarse, choked whisper, but Shikaku didn't comment on it. He held her gaze for several seconds then gave her the second bundle of paper again, since she had let go of it as she read the first. It was so much thicker than the list of missing people. Her eyes immediately fell on a name she knew. "F-Fukuda-sensei…"

A buzzing appeared in her ears and the Whisper awoke inside her like a titan, screaming in pain and rage under her skin. The killing intent she didn't seem able to completely control bloomed, thick, foul and cruel. From their hiding spots, the two ANBU choked on their own saliva, surprised to find such intensity in the chakra of a simple teenager, then got a hold of themselves. However, even they didn't manage to totally suppress the effect of such intent on their mind. Only Shikaku was spared, probably because nothing in the world could have made her harm him.

"Calm down, Hitomi," he said as gently as he could. He never used that tone with anyone, not even Shikamaru. Tears started rolling on Hitomi's cheek, staining the paper in her shaking hands. She saw other names she knew. An Academy teacher. One of the two tailors she went to for every adjustment or repair on her battle uniform. One of Ino's cousins, who had taught her the properties of a paralytic after a bet she'd won, years ago.

Those people wouldn't ever walk Konoha's streets again and, for the first time, Hitomi understood the scale of devastation her village had just faced. Her breathing choked in her throat, shallow and painful. Her body was screaming in alert, to no avail. She stumbled, Shikaku's hands caught her, and she heard his voice through a tunnel, calling for someone to go get Ensui or Kakashi, whichever was the closest. For what felt like hours, she stared at him in terror, desperately trying to remember how to breath, how to live after so much was lost.

Soon, other hands touched her, her neck then her chin, forcing her to lift and turn her head. Her red eyes sunk like a knife into one black iris and the fingers on her gripped harder. It didn't hurt, or maybe it did, just a bit, just enough to show her the way. Kakashi's chakra found its way inside her own, brushing against her meridians like a mirage, and forced it to run through her body peacefully. "Follow my breathing with your own, Hitomi-chan. Everything is okay. You're safe. We'll protect you. Everything is okay. You're safe…"

He repeated this lie of a mantra again and again, until it reverberated louder in her ears than the buzzing and the Whisper's screams. Slowly, as something embedded deep in her mind still fought with all its might, the killing intent receded, making the air breathable again – and just like that she remembered how to breath herself. Her knees gave way, her whole body started shaking, but Kakashi was there, imperturbable and sure, safe, as he had always been. His grip on her had softened now that she didn't need pain to ground her anymore. He used his arm around her shoulders to help her stand and walk to the couch that the Hokage had used so many times to receive guests in his office or rest between two meetings. He helped her lay on it then went back to Shikaku, talking to him in hushed tones. It wasn't enough to stop her from listening, even if she didn't really want to.

"… why did she react like that?"

"Some of the names on the dead list… I don't know which one made her go into a panic attack. Any idea?"

A whisper of ruffled paper cut through the heavy silence, then Kakashi started reading the names. He had probably been too busy, Hitomi distantly realised, to read it himself, between assisting Shikaku in his functions and the missions he had to accomplish non-stop to keep money coming to the village. His uniform was rumpled and stained in dried blood. He probably hadn't even changed since the invasion.

"That one. Fukuda, the therapist. I took Hitomi to see her after the mission in the Land of Waves. She was… She was my therapist as well. I didn't know she died during the attack. She was so good with her patients… It's a shame."

"I see," the new Hokage sighed. "I'll make sure to find someone who can take care of you both, but for now…"

"For now, it's not the most urgent matter, Hokage-sama. By the way, the mission at the border went well, the Sunajin units definitely left. Here's my report… I was finishing it when Dragonfly-san came to fetch me."

"Hm… Thanks again for stepping in. I really don't know how to handle that kind of stuff."

When she heard the new vulnerability in her uncle's voice, Hitomi forced her focus away from their conversation and cut the flow of chakra in her ears. She curled up on the couch, allowing her hair to cover one side of her face like a veil and isolate her from the rest of the room. Fukusa-sensei… She had helped her so much these past few weeks; without her, there was no way Hitomi could have put what had happened in the Forest of Death behind her. What would she do now, without her advice and her appeasing voice, without her reassurance that doing her best was enough? Shikaku had said he would find her another therapist, but she didn't want anyone else. She wanted the one she had learned to trust.

Several minutes later, Kakashi slouched next to her, creasing the cushions under his weight. He still smelled of fire and blood, she could tell without even focusing chakra to her nose. He definitely hadn't had time to change, poor man. The lack of tension in his limbs alone proved how exhausted he was. With a firm hand, he pulled her closer. It was weird, clumsy, as all his hugs were, but Kakashi's embraces were so precious because of their rarity.

"I know you won't ask me questions like 'does it stop hurting one day?', Hitomi-chan, but I'm still going to answer that one so you have time to think about it. No, the hurt doesn't go away, it doesn't ever truly disappear. It just fades as time passes until it becomes bearable."

The Jōnin's long fingers traced circular patterns on his student's back, each brush pushing the anguish, incomprehension and fear knotting her belly farther away. Her breathing was still itchy, she had trouble keeping awareness of her body, as if her mind just wanted to flee from the pain. If she reacted this badly to the death of someone she knew but wasn't close to, what would it be when her friends, her elders, would start dropping like flies around her? War wouldn't spare her loved ones just to please her.

Later, before the memorial that had been set up under a tree in remembrance of the deceased, Hitomi took the time to contemplate her options for the next steps she'd have to follow. She wanted Orochimaru's total destruction, but she was far from having the power necessary for such a feat. Did she have to tackle it alone, though? And if she couldn't end his reign of terror soon, what would be his next move? He'd probably try to take Sasuke. She couldn't… She couldn't let that happen.

The scenery around her contrasted strangely with her thoughts. The big stone had been set up under a Hashirama Oak, in the most peaceful part of the cemetery. The funeral ceremony would happen the next morning at dawn and would be led by twelve monks from the Fire Temple who had agreed to come all the way when they'd heard about the attack. For a lot of people, it would be a form of closure, an event that would help them move forwards again. For Hitomi, it would be the opposite; like a lot of shinobi, she had decided not to attend. She didn't want her failures exposed there for everyone to see.

But she couldn't refrain from honouring the dead, now, could she? She thought about the ones she knew amongst the departed, the ones she would have wished to keep by her side just a while longer. In silence, she brushed her thumb against one of her storage seals and grabbed the paintbrush, paper and ink that were released from it. She wrote a few words, coming right from a novel she had read and had yet to transcribe for the benefit of her new world.

The endless pain of the one who remains,

Like a pale reflection of the endless journey

Awaiting the one who departs.

Her eyes refused for a while to detach from the words so black on the white paper. Then, under Kakashi's attentive gaze, she pierced a little hole in the top of the sheet and used a length of ninja wire to tie it to a branch of the tree. Words were the only offering she could make to the deceased. She didn't have the strength to do more; what energy she had ought to go towards the living, who needed her so urgently. After a minute, she spun on her heels and walked to her sensei, who was waiting for her a few steps away.

He didn't say anything, content enough to just put an arm around her shoulders and guide her to the exit of the cemetery. They walked past several shinobi who took advantage of a break between missions to come, just like they had, to pay tribute to the dead. The Copy Nin was probably one of the rare people who hadn't lost someone close in the invasion. Hitomi felt pity rather than jealousy for that: if he hadn't lost anyone, it was because all the people he loved the most were already deceased. The bonds he had left, the ones he had built with his peers and students, were only echoes of the ones that had kept him alive once, except maybe for his friendship and rivalry with Maito Gai.

"I heard that Jiraiya-sama is taking Naruto and you for a mission outside the village," he said once they stepped outside of the cemetery.

"Hm hm. You'll take care of Sasuke, right?"

"Of course. Your mother would kill me if I didn't."

The girl let out a giggle that startled her more than him. She froze, blushed, then brushed her fingers against her lips, as if to take the sound back. Kakashi didn't miss her reactions. He wrapped her hand in his, pulling her attention to him with a brief but firm press.

"You shouldn't feel guilty about laughing or feeling happy, Hitomi-chan. Our ghosts wish for us to be happy, from where they are."

The Yūhi girl looked away but started walking again, her teacher by her side. Several shinobi she didn't know greeted the man as they walked past him. Sometimes, he stopped to exchange a few words with them, compassionate and quiet. As she observed him, his student realised that he wasn't that socially inept after all. He just liked to fake it – perhaps so people would stop trying to get close to him. "Do you have a lot to do to prepare for your mission?" he asked after a while.

"Hm… Don't really know yet. I always have my travelling gear ready, just in case. But I have to send a message to Haku to ask if he and Zabuza-san can join us, and to buy a few things. I'm almost out of ninja wire, and I don't even use it that much!"

"Aah, that shit always disappears when you're not looking. You think you still have enough for six missions at least and, when you're stuck in the middle of an ambush, you realise that actually you barely have a metre left and of course it's not enough for what you had in mind."

She laughed again, and this time she didn't freeze. "Sounds like you speak from experience, sensei. Would you like to tell me that story?"

The teacher launched himself into the epic tale of a mission that had turned ridiculously bad again and again in the Land of Lightning, glad that he could provide a distraction to his student. That story had become something of a joke amongst Jōnin; nothing had gone as planned during that one, to the point that Kakashi felt the need to run into a wall face first every time he thought about it. Hitomi was worth that urge and much more, though. He had sworn to protect her and to protect her brothers. That promise didn't only include harm to the body, but to the soul as well.

That evening, Hitomi sat in her room and wrote her letter to Haku. They hadn't even had time to say goodbye before he left with Zabuza: they had been called to the Land of Waves for a pressing matter. The rebellion was stretching them thin, and it hadn't even really started yet. They had promised to come back if she needed them, though, and with Orochimaru on the loose, and the knowledge that he would pursue Tsunade too, she couldn't deny how much she needed them. She just hoped they would be enough. They would have to be, and so would she.

She wrote her letter, sent it and started working on her gear as she waited for an answer. She needed that fucking ninja wire, rations and refills for several of her poisons, three elements that could be found easily in the Nara, Akimichi and Yamanaka lands. Civilians from a ninja clan tended to craft items that would be useful for their shinobi. Shikaku had put an emphasis very early on the importance of shopping in the clan lands first to stimulate their economy. They had to have their own funds, as a clan, if something happened to the village and the Nara had to leave.

The next morning, at dawn, Hitomi put on her battle gear. She felt a faint wave of comfort, as always when she put on the kimono. She would have to have it adjusted to her body soon, what with the damn puberty and all. Her heart ached as she thought about her two tailors. The brother had died during the invasion, and the sister probably would close shop. It was a very little thing Hitomi had to yield but, added to all the things that had changed during the invasion, it made her feel lost. Her village would never be the same again.

As she sheathed her sword, the girl confronted the enormity of what she was going to do today. She had counted the days carefully, without ever letting the original timeline out of her sight, and she knew what was supposed to happen, what she wanted to prevent. Her hands shook slightly during all the time she took to tie her hair in the Nara ponytail, but she made them firm once more as she drew, for the first time, a trait of eyeliner on her eyelids, like a stark, black echo of her master's signature.

She was ready and she couldn't push back against the huge challenge lurking in her path. She knew that Haku and Zabuza had hit the road under the moon's gaze: in the worst of cases, Naruto and Jiraiya would at least have them to count on to find Tsunade. She left a note to her mother to tell her that she was out to train – a pious lie, and if she had any luck no one would ever know about it – then left the house and started running towards the Gate of the village.

She slid between two patrols with the help of a very well-timed Shunshin. She felt weak and disoriented afterwards, but it washed away after she stayed still for a minute. She looked around, the village's wall at her back. She heard the peaceful lapping of the main river running through the village, not so far away. After a moment of hesitation, she walked towards the sound. After ten minutes, she stopped at the bank of the river, sliced her thumb open and summoned her familiar.

"Lady Summoner?" he asked after a huge yawn. "Do you need me?"

"I-I'm waiting for someone. I don't want to wait alone… Would you keep me company?"

"Of course. It's a weird place to wait, hm? We're outside the village."

"Yeah… You're right. It's a strange place, but also the best suited, you'll see. The people I'm going to meet today are dangerous, Hoshihi. If things get bad…"

"Don't ask me to leave you behind, silly. You know I'd prefer chopping out my toes rather than abandon you."

"O-Okay. Thanks."

The cat and the teenager waited in silence then, their emerald green and scarlet eyes staring at the trees in front of them as dawn slowly painted them with new, vibrant colours. One after the other, birds started singing…Then all fell silent at the same time.

A bigger, more terrifying predator than a simple ninja cat was approaching, they all felt it deep in their brittle bones, a presence probably as threatening to them as one of a god for ninjas. Hitomi shuddered then squared her shoulders, her left hand finding the guard of her tantō in faux nonchalance. The black wood and red silk were clean once more, the invasion but a memory in the weapon's core. Even a civilian would see that this sword had served its mistress, especially with the way Hitomi's fingers wrapped around it, loving, careful, but most of all used to holding it.

Twigs snapped, deeper in the forest. Those visitors knew to walk without making a noise; they were aware of her presence, they had felt her presence, she was sure of it. This ruckus – barely more than a whisper amongst the other sounds of the forest, despite how silent the animals had become – was a way of telling her to run if she valued her life.

She didn't move.

She knew why she was there, after all, knew the risks, knew how her loved ones would react if they learned what foolish position she had put herself in. She didn't intend for them to find out, or only when she'd be able to prove it was all worth it, but that was only if she survived this first encounter. She tried to make her face an impassive mask as she shifted her position to weaken the threat she could represent – the idea that she could be threatening in comparison to them made her want to burst into laughter and tears.

Suddenly, two shadows appeared between the trees. One of them was even taller than Zabuza, and the other exuded a kind of quiet power that made her want to disappear. She waited as they approached, observing the black coats with red clouds and the large, flat hats decorated with little strips of paper covered in traditional incantations. She straightened up and breathed in deeply as Hoshihi stood up next to her, the end of his tail twitching in discontent.

"I didn't think I'd see you here," said an incredibly soft, detached voice under one of the hats.

"Hm? You know that girl?" the other, hoarsely amused."

"Oh, yes… We knew each other once, didn't we, Yūhi-san?" Slowly, the smaller of the two men raised a hand and removed the hat that concealed all his features.

Hitomi was careful to keep her eyes on the pale and smooth skin of his neck.

Before her stood Uchiha Itachi.