P.E.R.C.Y. J.A.C.K.S.O.N.

"This is dumb, Usopp!"
"I like it," said Franky, admiring his new mask, "It's a reminder of my manly manliness."

"I don't care anymore," Nami said blandly.

"This detracts from Nami's beauty," Sanji said hotly.

"Quit whining," said Usopp, "This way we'll be able to keep track of who's who."

"Ridiculous," Annabeth scoffed, "Anyone with a few braincells can tell who's who. I just met all of you and I can still tell."

"Yes, yes, you're leagues smarter than the rest of us," Percy patted his girlfriend comfortingly on the shoulder, "But the rest of us dunces need the help."

"So, Brownbeard, huh?"
"HE'S NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION!" Sanji wailed at Luffy. The captain sat shoulder to shoulder with his boyfriend (though even saying the word aloud would cause Zoro to turn fire engine red and promptly stick his head in the snow) facing the chained up centaur.

"That's right," Brownbeard said proudly, "I'm sure you've heard that name; it's what I used to go by."

"Never heard of it," Luffy said flatly, already bored with this conversation. Instead, he busied himself with tracing the outline on an awesome-looking scar on Zoro's left hand.

"Are you kidding me, you fool!" Brownbeard snapped. Then, to the children using him as a jungle gym, "Hey! Get off me before I bite you!"

"Something's up," said Zoro, trying, in vain, to regain Luffy's attention, before giving up and letting Luffy play with his hand, "You wouldn't talk earlier, now you won't shut up. Why are you so eager to play twenty questions now?"

"Oh ho," Brownbeard chuckled, "I'm in a good mood. Law knows that I'm with you guys; he's gonna come for me and make you pay."

"I can take him," Annabeth said confidently.

"Sure," Percy agreed easily, "But to kick his ass, we need to find it first. How do we go about doing that?"

"I despise all you deplorable members of your generation," Brownbeard sniffed in disdain, "Law's the exception."

"What do you mean, our generation?" Luffy pouted, graciously giving Zoro back his hand.

"You fool," Brownbeard scoffed, "I mean the eleven pirates who showed up on Sabaody two years ago with bounties over 100 million. You, combined with Blackbeard, make up the worst generation. They say you fools will determine the course of this era. After Whitebeard died, you lot came to the New World and rose hell. Every time something big happened, one of you was usually behind it. I hate all of you."

"He means you two idiots," said Nami, gently shoving Luffy and Zoro in their backs.

"Oh," said Luffy, then, "Hey! We're not so bad! You shouldn't hate Zoro!"

"Don't listen to him, Luffy," Zoro cupped Luffy's chin and turned it to face him, "He's a nobody; his opinion counts for shit."

Luffy took Zoro's hands in his, "I know that."

"Helloooo?" Brownbeard whined, "I'm trying to tell you about how Basil Hawkins destroyed my crew and cost me my legs? OW!"

Nami punched him hard in the gut. "Let them have their moment," she said menacingly, "These emotionally constipated idiots need practice expressing their feelings to each other. Whatever you have to say, you can say it to us."

"You hit hard, cyborg man," Brownbeard complained, "But if you insist, I was fleeing for my life when I ended up here, on Punk Hazard. Do you fools even know what this place is?"

"Weeeell considering you told me the LAST three times I beat you up," said Leo with a shit-eating grin on his face, "How about I explain it?"

Brownbeard deflated, "Fine, fine, just don't shoot fire at me again."

Leo clapped his hands together excitedly, "Excellent! So this dump used to be a Tropical Paradise until some inventor dude-,"

"Vegapunk," Annabeth supplied helpfully. Franky leaned forward, suddenly all ears to a conversation that was pretty boring a second ago.

"Yes, right," Leo agreed, "Dr. Vegapunk's lab used to be here. He needed somewhere to test his chemical weapons, so he shipped criminals here to be his test subjects."

"Then one day, one of the chemical reactions was powerful enough to destroy two of the three labs," Annabeth continued, "We're standing in one of them right now."

"And the explosion reduced the island to a nuclear wasteland," said Leo, "Everything died, so Vegapunk packed up shop, hightailed it out of here, and left the criminals behind to die."

"The poisonous air paralyzed most of the criminals from the waist down," said Annabeth, "They were resigned to their fate until a crazy person-,"

"A kind master!" Brownbeard snapped.

"A CRAZY person," Annabeth raised her voice warningly, making Percy laugh, "Got rid of the gas on the island-,"

"Because he's got crazy gas powers," Leo added.

"Because he has a gas-related devil fruit," Annabeth agreed, "And gave you prisoners animal legs in exchange for your service."

"How'd we do?" asked Leo, "That's all of it, right?"

"No," Brownbeard said excitedly, "Finally, my turn to talk. A few months ago, our second savior, Trafalgar Law, arrived on the island. Using his special ability, he gave us new legs-,"

"By crippling some poor animals," Nami guessed, "That's horrible."

"We thought we'd never walk again," Brownbeard raised his voice, drowning out Nami's, "So we wept when our bodies were restored."

"That explains everything except the dragon," said Leo.

"Yeah, what's up with that?" asked Usopp.

"Vegapunk created it to defend the island against unwanted creatures," said Brownbeard, "Run if you see it; it's very aggressive."

"Heheh, good luck with that now," said Usopp, "These two idiots killed it and we ate it."

"Hey," said Annabeth, "Where'd they go?"

"And where's the samurai?" asked Usopp.

"Oh, he went off to find his torso," said Percy, "When we mentioned that we knew where it was he stormed off to look for it."

"Damn it!" Sanji cursed, "I knew it was too quiet in here. I'd better go look for him."
"Why do you care so much, Sanji-san?" asked Brook.

Sanji looked conflicted, "I'm the one who brought him out of that room. That makes him my responsibility."

"I'd imagine he can't hold a sword without arms," Brook reasoned, "If he were to find an enemy, our samurai friend would be in big trouble. Very well, I will show you the way."

Percy kissed Annabeth on the cheek, "Ok if I go too? The torso fell into the lake; maybe I can bring it up without anyone needing to freeze to death trying to get it out."

Annabeth took a deep, shaky breath. She didn't like separating from Percy, not since Tartarus, but she supposed it couldn't be helped. "Alright, but you better come back alive. Got it, Seaweed Brain?"

"Wait!"

Nami charged off behind a large, broken machine and came back with Zoro clutched by the scruff of his coat. Luffy followed behind them, looking sheepish.

"Take this one with you," Nami insisted, flinging Zoro at Sanji.

"Bye Zoro!" Luffy called happily, watching Zoro, Sanji, Percy and Brook run off into the snow, "Have fun!"

"You don't seem all that concerned," Leo noticed, "Isn't he your boyfriend?"

Luffy stretched like a cat before settling down on a frozen piece of machinery, "I guess so, but Zoro can take care of himself, especially if he's got those three with him. He'll be ok."

"WHY DO I HAVE TO GO ON THIS STUPID ERRAND WITH YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE?"
"SHUT UP! I WANT TO DO THIS WITH PEOPLE WHO WILL APPRECIATE NAMI-SWAN'S BODY. NOT A SHITTY TAKEN DEMIGOD AND A SHITTY GAY SWORDSMAN!"

"Why did I agree to this again…?"

"Yohohoho! Onward and Upward!"

"Sure," Leo drawled as he watched Percy's retreating back, "They sound like they'll be just peachy."

"It's nice to see the kids having fun," said Chopper, "They're so full of energy."

"You're right," said Nami, "It's hard to believe that they're sick at all."

"Annabeth? You've been here for awhile. Do you know anything about what might be making them sick?" asked Chopper.

"I don't know much," Annabeth admitted, "I scoured every inch of that facility except the room we ended up in, just because I could never get in. I have seen the production sites though. They make candies there. My guess is whatever is in those candies is what's making the children so large."

"I'd like to run some tests," said Chopper, "So I can find out exactly what's wrong with them."

"Sounds good," Nami said warmly, "What can I do to help?"

"Could you gather samples of their sweat, please?" Chopper asked politely.

"Excuse me, miss?" the giant dark-haired child asked Nami as she was collecting sweat from the large baby, "D-do you think I'll get better? Cuz I really wanna see my mommy and daddy."

Nami's heart was full to bursting at the honest, hopeful look on this child's face.

"Of course you will, Moka," she reassured the girl, "And I will personally help you get home."

Moka rewarded Nami with a smile and an adorable laugh, "Great!"

"So where do we go from here?" Usopp asked what remained of the group.

"First things first, we need to get our bodies back," Nami insisted, "I'm tired of being a giant perv!"

Chopper's face broke into an ugly grin as Franky said "Ah, c'mon, you know you love me, Nami."

"Franky," Robin said sharply, "I forbid you from making that face while in Chopper's body; it's creepy."

"You're no fun," Franky pouted, "So anyway, what do we do about the ankle-biters? Anyone got any bright ideas?"

"Franky," Robin said again, "You know I love you, but please don't speak while you're in Chopper's body. Not one word."

Franky stared at her, dumbfounded.

"What?" Robin said defensively.

"T-that's the first time you've ever said that…" Franky said quietly, "That you love me."

"I hate to interrupt this tender moment," Leo said urgently, "But does anyone know what's going on with the big blonde kid?"

"I can't breathe!" Sind moaned, curling up into a ball on the icy ground.

"This can't be…" said Chopper, looking at his test tube in horror.

One by one, the biggest children dropped to the ground like flies. Moans filled the air as Chopper hurried up to Sind.

"Was I right?" Annabeth said it more as a statement than a question.

Chopper ignored her, "Sind, is there something you want right now?"
"CANDY!" he wailed, "That's what I need! When I eat it, I feel happy, so can I have some? Please?"

Usopp yelped and ducked for cover as Leo's entire body ignited, "Watch it, man!"

"These kids are being drugged?" Leo said in a dangerous voice.

Chopper stalked towards Brownbeard, "What was your name? Brownbeard? Do you know anything about this? These children aren't sick after all."

"What are you saying?" Brownbeard asked nervously, "I don't go in the lab. I do know this though: these youngsters are suffering from an incurable disease."

"It's going to be alright," Usopp said soothingly, holding a little boy, writhing in pain, in his arms.

"What's happening to them?" Luffy said frantically, hovering anxiously by a large, bald boy.

"Hey, Chopper!" called Franky from beside a little blonde girl, "The small ones are starting to break down too!"

"So this master," Choper hissed, "What's he doing to these kids?"

"What are you implying?" Brownbeard said in a condescending tone, "The master is kind and merciful; he would never do anything to hurt these children; he went out of his way to bring them here to find a cure."

"But there is no cure," said Annabeth, coming to stand by Chopper, "Leo's right; your 'master' is drugging these children with those candies."

"They have trace amounts of NHC10 in their bodies," said Chopper, "That's the drug in question. They aren't sick; they're going through NHC10 withdrawal."

"Where can we find this lab with the candies?" Nami demanded.

"I'm not telling you anything," Brownbeard sneered.

Nami looked taken aback, "But…after all these years of training…that should've worked!"

Annabeth grabbed her large, metallic hand, "In your own body, yes, your charmspeak is powerful enough to get this coward to talk, but you're in Franky's body right now. You're as mortal as they come. Meanwhile, Sanji is in your body."

A look of horrified realization came over Nami's face, "And we just sent him out into the cold on an island that could be teeming with monsters."

"He's got Percy with him," Annabeth said confidently, "They should be ok until they get back, but we have to find Law and we have to do it soon."

"NHC10 is highly addictive," Chopper continued, "My research indicates the children have been fed small amounts of it every day until they eventually became dependent on it."

Tears blossomed in Chopper's eyes as he shattered the test tube clutched in Sanji's shaking hands, "Who would do this? And to children? Your master is responsible for this, isn't he? Why would he drug children? To make sure they couldn't run away? ANSWER ME!"

"Chopper, what do we do?" asked Luffy, "Kids keep collapsing!"

"Candy," Sind moaned.

"You want candy?" Luffy asked eagerly, glad he could finally help, "You want me to go to the lab and get some for you?"

Chopper tackled a larger boy, "NO! They absolutely cannot have more of that candy; it has the drug hidden in it."

"Well, Luffy?" Sind groaned, his face in his hands, "Are you gonna get me some candy?"

"Sorry, I can't," Luffy apologized, "Chopper's the doctor of my crew; I trust him."

Sind pulled his hands away from his face. His eyes were wild and mean as he said "Meanie! Just give it to me already!"

Luffy took a step back, "Sind…"

"YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA GO GET IT!" Sind screamed, his eyes rolling back in his head, "GO GET MY CANDY!"

With a roar, Sind punched Luffy. The Strawhat Captain went flying into the nearest wall, leaving a crater larger than Sind in its foundation.

"Where is the boy's strength coming from?" Robin gasped.

"We need to restrain them," Annabeth said urgently, "They need to be able to wait out their withdrawal. Anyone have any ideas?"

"Stop, Sind, calm down!" one of the smaller boys shouted.

"I've never seen him like this before," another smaller boy said in a terrified voice, "What's wrong with him?"

Sind let out a scream and lifted a piece of debris several times his size and weight over his head.

"Damn, that kid is strong," said Franky, trying and failing to hide how impressed he was.

"Of course he is," snapped Leo, "He's a giant!"

"GAAAAH!" Sind roared, "GIVE ME MY CANDY!"

And he threw his projectile at the Strawhats, causing them to scatter.

"No, he's not a giant!" cried another kid.

"What?" said Annabeth.

"We all used to be normal sized," said a giant girl with big, blue eyes, "Until we came to this island."

"Giants aren't made," Chopper said frantically, "They're born that way."

"We get bigger the longer we're here," said Allie.

"So they are being used as test subjects," said Annabeth, "Sometimes I really hate always being right."

"Yeah, I hate you always being right too," Leo agreed.

"I'd hit you if you weren't still on fire," Annabeth retorted.

"CANDY!" Allie wailed, grabbing Chopper and throwing him into the ground.

"Chopper!" cried Luffy.

"Damn, now the other kids are starting to lose it too!" shouted Franky.

"Somebody do something!" shouted Nami.

"Use your charmspeak!" shouted Leo, "You're an Aphrodite kid, right?"

"Doesn't work when they won't listen," Nami snapped, "I don't even know if it'll work in this body to begin with. Any other bright ideas?"

"Everyone move!" ordered Usopp, charging forward with his slingshot.

"Don't hurt them!" Nami warned.

"Oh come on!" shouted Usopp, "I know!"

Special Attack: Sleep Star!

Blue, sweet-smelling smoke billowed around the Strawhats. When it cleared, all of the children were fast asleep.

"That worked like a charm," Usopp said with a sigh of relief, "They're sound asleep."

Chopper knelt by a little red-headed girl, "Luffy, I can't imagine the pain these children are going through."

"Huh?" said Luffy, turning to listen to Chopper.

"They said they wanna go home!" Chopper's voice rose, "We gotta do something!"
"Yeah," said Nami, "I agree."

"Me too," added Leo, "This isn't right."

"Ok," said Luffy, "Let's put them on the ship and take them home."

"Never gonna happen," said Franky, "We can't just waltz out of here; there are too many enemies."

"He's right," Robin admitted, "Besides, our theory is speculation. We can't be certain until we meet who's responsible."

"Oh, yeah," said Luffy with a huff, "It's bad timing though; Zoro and the others are looking for that samurai."

He grinned and hopped off Sind's chest, "Oh well! It can't be helped. I'm sure they'll figure something out. We can all go to the lab on our own."

"Luffy, I'm staying here," said Chopper.

"What?" said Luffy.

"I really wanna go," Chopper tried to assure his captain, "I'm so angry about what he's done to these children; I really wanna kick his butt, but the kids need me. I'll stay here to protect them."

"I'll stay too!" Nami said in a high-pitched voice.

"You just won't admit you're too scared to go to the lab," Usopp scoffed.

"You'll be in trouble if they start rampaging again," Luffy said with a frown, "Here, let's do this."

So the Strawhats chained up the children, propping the largest ones against a silo in the center of the destroyed room.

"You think that'll hold them?" Annabeth asked skeptically.

"I dunno," said Franky, "Listen, I don't think we should split up. If we want Trafalgar to switch us back, we need to be together. At least, I think that's how it works."

"What's the big deal?" Luffy said sunnily, "Just stay like this!"

"THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY! YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR OWN BODY!" shouted Nami as Leo and Usopp burst out laughing.