Mirage
A/N: I have a sudden change of plans for this story. But don't worry, all of my new ideas are good ones. By the way, thanks again for reading the previous chapter even though it was a little short and I know it totally sucked. Here's the promised compensation.
Summary: Humanity's strongest soldier had secrets of his own. So when the woman he loved died, he turns on another for pure companionship and comfort. But a night of mistake has its consequences. Levihan.
CHAPTER EIGHT: INCOGNITO
Levi groaned as he ran after his wife, who, to her credit, was really fast despite the fact that she was four months pregnant. He didn't know what made her so desperate to eat those fucking strawberries right now, but he knew Hange. She could be stubborn, she had a way of things and no matter what he did, there's no stopping the woman on her tracks.
Nothing much had changed about her. She was still the usual Hange who does what she wants and finds a way through every dilemma. She could patch up tiny loopholes using her rather intricate mind. She's stubborn, made to defend her cause.
And Levi knows it. This is what he chose after all. He's definitely fucked.
So instead of arguing with her and forcefully tugging the woman back to their quarters, Levi accepted defeat. With a disgruntled look on his face, he hastily got up and threw on some clothes, slipping on a white button-up shirt and a black pants. The man had initially thought of wearing his Survey Corps jacket and cape but he immediately ditched the idea as he thought that citizens from Stohess might recognize them and their presence in the district might cause a buzz. Before moving out, he grabbed Hange's overcoat and tugged it with him.
Levi moved faster in fear that Hange had really gone off just herself. It was still pretty early, the sun hadn't risen and the path was still darkened with the sky's overcast. At any given moment, she could fall off her horse and injure herself, and worse she might encounter some ruthless thugs along her way, or even untamed animals running wild along the fields and forests.
His forehead crossed at his own thoughts, his blood boiling at the thought of menace nearing Hange. No. He wouldn't let anything happen to her. Especially not now that she's his wife and carrying their unborn child.
Or at least that's what he usually tells himself; that as her husband, she and the child are his responsibility.
But what he couldn't admit is the fact that the urge to protect the woman at all costs is now nagging at his being.
Over the three months that they had been married, even if they both wouldn't attest to it, things have thoroughly changed between them. Their days wouldn't usually end without them bantering about something so simple, but their fights are now very far from what it was before. No more shit jokes and sarcastic whim, but with every quarrel they have Hange always ends up crying. As usual, he blamed the pregnancy for her hormones turning up but Levi also ends up comforting the woman. They have grown so much closer through their pep talks.
And Levi also noticed some change in himself.
Oftentimes, he couldn't stop thinking about how she's doing, if she had eaten at the proper time or what she was doing at the moment. When she's still asleep and deep in slumber, he would stare at her innocent face. Whenever he's on a mission outside the safety of the walls, all he longed to do was to come home and see her face, to assure that she was safe, alive and breathing. He couldn't help but be worried about her.
And right now as he was running down the fucking huge castle that they stayed at, he felt the blood gushing through his veins and his heart was hammering wildly on his chest.
He got out through the back door and went straight to the horses' stable. He passed through each horse and finally found Hange standing beside her own brown horse, one arm wrapped around its neck and her other hand was caressing its mane. She was mumbling something to it.
Levi cleared his throat before speaking. "How the hell do you manage to walk that fast?" he wheezed when he finally found her. "Don't pregnant women waddle?" When there came no reply, he called out again. "Oi, Hange," he tilted his head to his side. He saw the woman stiffen a little. "I'm coming with you."
Hange turned and faced him, a pout plastered on her face. Her glasses shone in the dark. "What's gotten into you, all of a sudden?"
"I wouldn't let you go alone. It's still fucking early; it's way too dangerous for a woman like you to head off just like that. And you are pregnant, for heaven's sake. How many times do I have to tell you that?" He crossed his muscled arms before his chest. "What if you fall off and injure yourself? Or if you bump into thugs or animals along the way? Are you completely nuts?"
She gave out a sarcastic chuckle. "Why are you overreacting? I'm just pregnant, but I'm still who I am. I can take care of yourself," The woman gritted her teeth. "Go back to sleep, Levi. I'll see you later."
Hange gripped the saddle in an attempt to get up the horse but Levi moved fast and grasped her wrist.
"Shitty Glasses. I said I'm coming with you,"
Hange displayed a puzzled look. "Why?"
"Because…." He had the words just waiting to be uttered but he couldn't sum up the courage to tell her. Levi gazed upon her searching eyes and saw the brown irises he admired so much. "I'm your husband. If there is something my pregnant wife wants, it's my responsibility to give it to her."
She pursed her lips, but Levi could see the sheepish look that had formed on her face. The woman remained quiet.
"What, you've got no reply to that? I actually braced myself for what you'll say. Turns out I got humanity's smartest speechless."
"Well… To tell you honestly, that was really sweet." She teased, making Levi groan. Hange looked up, then she smiled sweetly at him. "Thank you, Levi."
He bit his lip. "You're not welcome," He scowled. "And I'm not sweet. Just doing what a man should do." Levi held out the overcoat that he brought with him on his way out. "Take off your Survey Corps jacket and wear this, it's cold out."
Hange lifted her eyebrows and grinned at him before grabbing the coat. "If you say so, Captain."
"Shut up," he hissed. "Do both of us a favour, and please stop being so stubborn."
She slipped on the overcoat then turned to Levi. "Okay. Let's go." Hange grabbed one of the lamps and lighted it. She gripped the saddle and got up to her horse, moving her body a little forward so Levi could still have space to sit on behind her back.
Shrugging, Levi got up the horse and positioned himself behind her.
They traveled in silence. Hange held the lamp in one hand and the other held on to the rope for support. Levi had his lips in a thin line as he focused on the path before him.
They passed by some villages, creating a path in between the gates to Trost District and Ehrmich District. The sun had already risen when they reached Stohess, the city now buzzing with people from different status, all dressed in formal clothing. They left the horse with the guard who at first insisted their purpose for coming but once he recognized Levi, the guard immediately backed off and allowed them to enter the city.
"All this for some fruit you're craving? This is insane. I'm losing precious sleep hours," Levi complained as they walked, trailing behind Hange who was turning her head from side to side in search for a store that sells strawberries.
"I thought we're done with your complaining? Stop blabbering and instead help me look. And may I just remind you of your declaration earlier," Hange turned to face him, a scowl mirroring his' now plastered on her face. "You were like, 'I'm your husband. If there is something my pregnant wife wants, it's my responsibility to give it to her,'" The woman had her hands on her hips as she mimicked her husband's words.
"You know very well I do not sound that way," Levi tried to hide a smirk. "But I am dutifully impressed. You really took time to remember every detail."
"Because I've been meaning to keep the knowledge for future usage," She grinned at him sheepishly before turning her back to walk, missing the chance to see the alarmed look on her husband's face.
Hange craned her head into every direction once more, and finally, finally caught sight of the fruit she sought for. She released a squeal, her mouth watered at the sight. She immediately ran off to the store, shocking the vendor.
"Fucking finally," Levi grumbled under his breath and walked towards the store, standing behind Hange. He saw the rather enthusiastic look on her face and he can't help but be in awe as happiness totally consumed the woman. He smiled to himself.
They paid up the old woman vendor and she handed them a basket full of the strawberries Hange almost drooled at. She even gave them a few extra when Hange noted that she was pregnant and have been desperately craving for the fruit.
The brunette immediately ran off to the opposite shop where some tables and chairs were laid outside. When he was just about to follow his wife, he suddenly felt a light tap on his shoulder. He looked over his shoulder and saw the vendor smiling at him.
"You're a good man, obliging to your wife's cravings just like that," the old woman uttered softly. "Please take care of her and your child. Things may be hard, especially in this world that we live in, but it's all worth it in the end. I can see in your eyes that you love her very much. And I won't have to wonder why because I can feel that she's a good woman too. So don't lose each other, hence you should protect, care, and love each other," She smiled once more, and Levi saw the wrinkles that had formed on her forehead and the side of her eyes. "Have a happy life."
"Thank you," he simply replied, but his voice was tainted with sincerity. He knew the old woman was just delusional and he wanted to tell her that he didn't really love Hange; that his heart was set upon one woman…
Petra.
Or so he thought.
This was the first time Petra had crossed his mind since the night he and Hange had shared. His thoughts were in knots with the current happenings that that his mind was slightly consumed with the events in his life right now.
And as he thought about Petra, million strings pulled him into a place. A place of confusion. Disillusion.
She was important to him. He saw the real woman in her; a sweet, caring girl who cared deeply about her family and friends. She was usually so soft but she also had this tough side in her. He'd always imagined that she's the woman he'll end up marrying.
He wasn't attracted to her because she was pretty, nor that she lighted up his mood each time he's with her, that he's a different person whenever she was around. It was never like that. She may be this skilled girl who could fight terribly and slay Titans without fear, but to Levi, she was as fragile as a flower. As he put much thought to it, he realized, the feelings he had for her rooted from the fact that he wanted to protect her, because there was this girl from before… A friend. A girl who had beautiful, sparkling eyes and burgundy hair tied into pigtails behind her head. She called him brother, but he couldn't protect her.
And he hoped that this time around he can compensate for her death by protecting the life of another. But history repeated itself so quickly. She died. Petra died, too.
And now, as he looked at the woman he now called his wife, things clicked but he was still full of doubts and confusion. He contemplated what he had for Hange, compared it with what he felt with Isabel and Petra. And he found that the things he was feeling for Hange right now are different. Sure, he wanted to protect her too. But there's more. He searched for the missing piece in his stoned heart but he couldn't find it. Maybe not now. Maybe he was still not ready to accept it.
Maybe he was the one being so delusional.
He breathed deeply, shrugging his thoughts and dismissing them but he couldn't. Levi walked his way towards Hange, who was sitting in one of the chairs, with drinks in front her in the table. She was munching on a strawberry and had this silly look on her face.
The man sat beside her. "With all the fuss that you've created last night and earlier in the morning, you should now be fucking pleased or else,"
"I am pleased," she smiled at him, the juices of the fruit rolled down from her mouth. Levi held out his hand and wiped the liquid with his thumb, gently caressing her chin.
"You're filthy. At least have some decorum while you're eating."
"Why are you so grumpy all the time? It's delicious. You should try one," she picked one strawberry from the basket and shoved it to him.
Levi hesitated at first but opened his mouth. The juices of the fruit exploded in his tongue and he tasted its sweetness. "Not bad,"
"I told you so," Hange beamed at him.
"So, you still have some cravings we need to satisfy? Let's get that shit over with now, while we're still here in Stohess."
She hummed. "None at the moment, but very soon, I think. I just want to savour these strawberries for now." Hange looked around and found myriad people were doing their own businesses. The sun was shining brightly and all in all it seemed like a very good day. "So, wanna hang out here a little bit?"
"Erwin will kill us if he discovers we're here," He frowned as he realized that people at the Headquarters might already be wondering where they have both gone to. "And don't you have some paperworks to do? I also have some brats to train. I'll make them clean the cafeteria this time, as I missed cleaning it yesterday."
"Nah, Moblit said he'll cover up for me if I don't feel like working." She muttered. "If we get going now, we'll make it there by noon, anyhow. And I won't feel like working by then, I'll probably just sleep in our room." Hange munched on another strawberry.
The two fell completely silent as they just sat there and watched people stroll in the streets. Children walked hand in hand with their parents. Couples enjoying the morning glow were also wandering in the streets. They were all dressed in formal clothes; all people living in Wall Sina are considered privileged that you wouldn't see a single person wearing clothes not fitted for their environment.
The street just comprised of citizens doing their own thing, and a few Military Police were also having their rounds. At that exact moment, Levi and Hange both heard horses coming and they saw the familiar carriage that passed them by.
It was the carriage that they use at the Survey Corps. And when Levi reached his head up to see who the person inside was, he saw Erwin. He was looking down, but Levi saw the uncertain look on his face.
He remembered seeing the same demeanour on him a few weeks ago in his office. The composure that he had long mastered somehow slipped from his face, and all Levi could see was a mask that Erwin rarely wore.
"Who was it?" Hange suddenly asked, jerking him from his thoughts.
"It was Erwin," He muttered. "I didn't know he was going here today."
"Erwin keeps many things to himself, Levi." Hange trailed her eyes behind the carriage.
Levi stood up. He started to walk, his mind set on one thing – to follow where the carriage was heading. Something was wrong. Erwin doesn't seem to be his usual self these days. There must be something troubling him and judging by the way he handled it, Levi knew it was serious.
"Where are you going?" Hange rose from her chair and followed her husband.
"I'll follow him," he said without turning, his feet continued walking.
"You can't follow him! Erwin knows what he's doing. If he's keeping this from us, then there's got to be a reason why. You know that."
"But this isn't the Erwin we know." Levi declared, his voice gruff and Hange noted the seriousness in his tone. She simply nodded and followed Levi on his path, tugging the basket of strawberries on her hand.
The carriage ended up stopping beside a small house. Erwin went out, and turned his head sideways. Levi and Hange hid behind a small building and poked their heads out to see what the blonde man was up to.
"I don't feel so good, spying on him like this." Hange whispered.
The Commander knocked and waited. There was a shift and the front door opened, and it revealed a beautiful woman with long, dark brown hair. The woman started crying and she rested her palms against her face, then sobbed lightly. Erwin moved closer and wrapped his arms around the woman's petite body.
"Who… Who is that?" Levi turned to Hange and he saw his wife's eyes widened at the sight. "Shitty Glasses,"
She bit her lip. "That's Nile's wife, Marie. Mike told me that she trained as a soldier too, together with Erwin, Mike and Nile, but she never finished because she got pregnant with Nile's child."
"That's one score for that stupid excuse of a Military Police," Levi hummed. "So what's with this Marie?"
Hange looked him in the eye, and he saw that the big, brown eyes hidden behind her glasses shone a bit. Her lips twitched and he can feel the hesitation in her stance. "I'm not one to tell this. But since we've been through many things with Erwin, I think you have some right to know,"
She breathed hard, and Levi desperately waited for her answer. "I never knew the real details. But Mike said Erwin was inlove with her, too."
Levi flinched at that, and a disbelieving expression settled on his face. "Mike's nose knows too much," his forehead crossed. "But Erwin, inlove with a woman? You've got to be shitting me, Hange."
The bespectacled woman smiled wryly. "You don't know him very well. Like other veterans in the corps, even if Erwin seemed to be cold, he has feelings too," She sighed. "His mask rarely slips. But somehow, it still does. You of all people should know that, Levi."
He stayed silent. He knew she was right.
The two of them continued to watch Erwin and Marie, until they walked inside. Erwin once again turned his head sideways as if to see if someone had followed him, before closing the door.
Levi turned to Hange as soon as the couple had gotten inside. He started walking and motioned for her to follow, to which Hange obliged. They walked through the city without uttering a word.
As Hange had calculated, they got back to the Headquarters just in time for lunch. They both headed to the cafeteria and ate in casual silence together with Mike, Nanaba and Nifa.
Levi was quiet all throughout, and Hange knew he was deep in thoughts about Erwin. But she never mentioned it.
After lunch, Hange and Levi went separate ways. Levi went off to train the soldiers and Hange proceeded to their quarters, where she just slept the afternoon off.
It was already night by the time she awoke.
She stretched her long legs on the bed before getting up. She scratched her head as a yawn escaped her lips and walked straight to the bathroom to wash her face. Hange opened the door to the bathroom and went in, and her smiling reflection on the mirror that was hanging in the wall greeted her. Remembering the dream she had while she was sleeping, the smile on her face got a little wider.
The woman closed her eyes and tried to recollect her dream.
Hange was sitting in a couch in the living room of one small house, a book on her hands. She didn't know who owned the house but she heard loud noises coming from outside. Curious, she got out and found Levi chasing after two little girls, smiling as he did so. The kids were running fast on the lush, grassy backyard, and they were laughing and squealing frantically as the dark-haired man ran after them.
She stared at Levi. His face was lit up and he had a huge grin on his face. She'd never seen him so happy before.
Hange opened her eyes and was once again greeted by her reflection in the mirror. A smile crept on her face and she felt her heart melt a little.
Things are certainly getting better.
A/N: Okay. So it's really hard to explore Levi's thoughts. I hope you don't think that things are getting a bit rushed, especially with Levi's feelings. (Well he hasn't admitted anything yet, he was still confused). But I wanted to imply that he also had subtle feelings for Hange even before they got married. Barely there, but the fact remains that there is. He was only coming to realize his own feelings for her now because they spend too much time with each other. Waah. I told you I was taking a different turn so I just tried to pitch in a few hints here. But if I'm doing a bad job, please let me know. Hmm. What do you guys think if I change the summary of this story? Because I really think it's confusing readers a little, especially Levihan shippers, thinking that this story will only be about Levi's feelings for Petra. So?
Anyway, thank you for reading, if I'm failing big time, please let me know. Reviews are welcome!