Mirage
A/N: Hey guys. I just wanna inform you all that I would use 'Hange' as Hange's given name here, instead of Zoe, which I'll use as her family's surname. We all know that her real name is Zoe Hange (with Zoe being her given name), but I just couldn't find it within myself to refer to her as such. I like the name Hange so I'll stick with it, and it's what most characters and the fandom call her anyway.
Summary: Humanity's strongest soldier had secrets of his own. So when the woman he loved died, he turns on another for pure companionship and comfort. But a night of mistake has its consequences. Levihan.
Warning: This chapter is really long. Don't like, don't read.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: REVELATIONS
An abundance of white, fluffy clouds dotted the cerulean sky. The sun was hovering behind the overcast, its yellow beam of rays just peeking from one cloud to another. The wind was warm but not too much, it will still send chills to a perfectly bare skin.
Levi gazed upon the glass window of the carriage, his fist resting under his chin as he marvelled at the early morning horizon. They had been traveling for almost three hours and from what he could tell based on the abundance of trees and forests along the road, they are still very far away from their destination.
He figured they were just about to pass the gates to the Yarckel District and still has to cross the boundary between it and Orvud. They will enter the interior of Wall Sina through the north, as Hange herself had told him that the quickest way to go to her hometown was to pass through the Orvud District on their way to the Royal Capital of Mitras.
He turned to his wife, who has been lightly snoring for quite a while now. The woman was sitting beside him but he noticed that she had put a wide gap between their sit. Her head was resting against the corner of the carriage, her lips parted as she breathed. The glasses she wore were already dangling on the tip of her nose, just mere minutes away from falling off her face.
With a disgruntled sigh, Levi scooted closer to Hange. He gently wiped some wisps of her brown hair that had almost covered her face. Running his fingers through her head, he arranged her dishevelled hair and once he was done, he narrowed his eyes to her bluntly exposed face.
The woman is beautiful, almost wretchedly so, but still she is. The lashes that framed her shut lids were long; her lips, even dry, still looked luscious. She was a combination of rather imperfect parts but once they combined, a wave of perfection emerges. What she just lacked what the confidence to show herself off, and one would swear that at first glance, she just looked normal and average. But she wasn't.
Levi now knew that.
Wearing the large overcoat that she had recently purchased, Hange had both her hands resting on her rounded belly. Her current position looked uncomfortable, and looking at her form as she soundly sleeps bothered him. He gulped hard before lightly tilting her head and then placed it above his shoulder. His arm snaked around her back and rested against her side, where he pulled her body closer. Once comfortable, Levi himself rested his head against hers.
Hange was really excited when he informed her that Dr. Cameron had allowed her to travel; she was beaming with extreme delight and if she wasn't heavily pregnant she would jump up and down their bed. Everytime he sees her she has this huge smile on her face. He hadn't seen her so happy before, and seeing her at very high spirits seemed to make his chest tight with unfathomable joy.
Erwin had also let them borrow one of the carriages of the Survey Corps, and even promised them with their very own coachman who'll take them to Hange's hometown and pick them up in a week. The Commander was also kind enough to allow Levi to leave, as they were lying low on trainings and if there's an urgent drill Mike is there to supervise the soldiers.
The blond man, who also looked quite invested in their relationship as Mike and Nanaba does, even mocked him that what he was doing was sweet and he couldn't believe that Levi actually had a softer side to him. Had Erwin be an ordinary soldier, he would've punched him on the face but he didn't want to be court-martialled or suspended that he just shrugged his mockery off.
And so they set off on a journey to the Zoe Residence. Surprisingly, Hange only brought a few bags that contained all necessary things she needed – change of clothes, books, and some presents for her family that she had not visited in more than a year. Levi only brought his duffel bag with him and filled it with clothes fit for a week. He can do the laundry, anyway.
With her body snuggled against his', Levi inhaled the very sweet scent of her hair. Very unusual, really, but as a pregnant woman, she seemed to have changed a bit and she now cared a lot for her own hygiene. He buried his face against her brown hair, then closed his eyes as sleep finally conquered him.
Hange's eyes fluttered open. The sudden halt of the carriage's movement jerked her awake from her previous stupor. She felt some breathing on the top of her head and realized that Levi was curled up against her, one of his arms was circled around her waist and the other found its way on her belly. His hand was laid upon hers, and Hange interlaced their fingers together and squeezed it before letting go.
She slowly and gently dragged herself away from the sleeping man, creating some space between them. He was snoring lightly and Hange couldn't help but notice the cute look on his sleeping face. But she shrugged it off and decided to take a peek on the window to know why the carriage suddenly stopped.
What she saw brought tears to her eyes and made her mouth dry up a little. The sky was now tainted with an afternoon glow. And as she gazed her eyes around, she saw the familiar trail of trees, the blooming flowers that traced the pathway and the stone houses towering along the cemented road that seemed to only mean one thing.
She was home.
Hange hastily opened the door of the carriage and stepped into the lush, green grass she loved running in as a youngster; inhaled the air that told her it was certainly home. She looked around and noticed that not much had changed in her village and things were perfectly just the way she had last seen it. She stood before pillar and trailed her eyes on the writing.
Herschel Village.
Hange smiled, remembering the last time she had stood upon that same ground. She couldn't really recall when her last visit to the place was, maybe a year ago or two. But she had missed the ambiance of the place, the memories it triggers. This is where she had her first intake of breath, the place where she had her first wound, where she had first fallen inlove and had her heart broken. This is the place that shaped her to the person she is now.
But what she didn't really expect was that the next time she'll be coming here, she was no longer Hange Zoe.
She was Hange Ackerman. And she's now carrying her child in inside her, a thing that not even her parents knew about yet. She bit her lip, the excitement suddenly leaving her body. She still had no idea how she would approach her family and what they would say about her pregnancy. But she and Levi had decided that it's best not to tell them about the way they conceived the child.
Still, Hange didn't know what their reaction will be if they suddenly opened the door to her knocking and found out she was already pregnant. She hadn't written a letter to them in months, and she knew they're probably sulking with her not replying to their letters. She didn't even inform them about her visit.
Hange breathed deeply, summing up the courage of what's to come. She turned her head and realized that the coachman was already standing a few feet behind her, the chestnut-haired man had his hat on his hands as he continued to stare at her.
"I didn't want to disturb you, Miss," he smiled. "I think you might still be relieving some old memories so I just decided to stand here and wait. I'm sorry I also didn't wake you up when we arrived."
She just smiled and nodded her head at the man's sincerity. "You don't have to say sorry, it's really alright." She started walking back towards the carriage to wake Levi up. "Thank you for taking us here. You could go now, and please send Commander Erwin our regards. But you'll return here in a week to pick us up, right?
He bowed his head. "Yes. The Commander's instructions were clear. I'll be back to fetch you two," The Coachman raised both his brows and stared at Hange's retreating back as she got on the carriage again. "But are you sure you wouldn't want help with the bags?"
Hange chuckled. Once she got inside the carriage again, she shouted her words so the man outside could still hear her voice. "No, thank you, that's already too much. And besides, my husband here is humanity's strongest, you see. What's the point in calling him that when I wouldn't allow him to function and act on his title?"
She heard the faint laugh of the coachman. Hange grinned and turned to Levi, who was still soundly asleep. His lips were parted a little, and she beamed at the innocent look that the man displayed. She moved to pat his shoulder. "Levi," she shook him.
The man just groaned and switched his position. Hange sighed heavily. "Levi, we're here. Wake up!" She used all her effort and tried to yank his lethargic state away.
Turns out, she pushed him a little too hard, causing the man to his head against the carriage's corner. Levi's eyes immediately cracked open, his glare cold and stern as he placed his hand on the top of his head. "That fucking hurts, you know." He spoke, his sleepy voice a little gruff.
Hange beamed at him and tugged at his wrist. "We're here," she repeated. The woman had stepped out of the carriage.
"Yeah, I know," he uttered as he rubbed his head. "You wouldn't wake me up that way if we're not."
The man immediately got up from his seat and followed his wife. As he stepped on the ground, he inhaled the fresh air and took in the surroundings. It didn't look like a normal village to him, the houses were built with stone and from the looks of the people buzzing just beyond the pillar, he could tell that the people living there was far above his level. Which wouldn't really be a question, because they're inside humanity's most guarded wall, anyway. They're the ones who are benefited enough and far away from the screeching Titans against the wall.
Remembering about the Titans suddenly made him feel disgusted. And worried. He glanced at Hange and eyed her already rounded belly. The woman was talking to the coachman and beaming as she did. She had the smaller bag on her hands.
Looking at her now and seeing where she actually came from, he didn't really know that Hange came from a wealthy family and that she was a citizen of Wall Sina. His eyebrows raised a little when she had mentioned that she grew up in one of the villages surrounding the Royal Capital of Mitras a few days ago, but he shrugged it off.
With the kind of life that she has, he had no idea why the woman suddenly found it within her heart to fight the Titans, let alone study them. She was a conflicted contradiction, but that's what he liked most about her.
Levi sighed. He then gathered their bags and tugged them with him, a rather effortless act for a man deemed as humanity's strongest. Hange moved closer to him as she waved the coachman goodbye. They both just followed their eyes to the retreating form of the carriage.
His wife turned to him. "Let's go," she said, her voice enthusiastic as usual. But when he looked at her eyes, he could see the uncertain and nervous façade on her brown irises.
They started to walk, passing through the pillar and into the village's main grounds. A few people had thrown looks upon them, but Hange kept her eyes on the path before her. Levi tried to keep up with her fast pace.
"Hey," he said. "For a person who insisted that she lives here, you don't really seem to know these people."
Hange shrugged. "To tell you the truth, I don't go out a lot when I was younger. I usually prefer to just read books in my room. They may have known me because my father is this village's doctor."
"I see," He could feel the tension in her voice and stance. "Must be why you grew up to become a Shitty Glasses, you have your nose on those books a lot."
She managed to crack a small smile. "Yeah. But I love reading. Even my elder brother shared my passion for learning new things. We got it from Dad." She craned her neck. "Although, my mother is a very outgoing and cheerful person. You could tell that I got both traits from them."
Levi seemed alarm at the sudden mention of her family, realizing that this visit won't really bode well with his attitude. He's not a people person, never has been, actually. The thought of spending one whole week in the company of people he hardly knew seemed to be a boulder crashing behind his back. "Predilection and a hint of madness." He croaked out.
"Yeah, something like that," Hange looked over her shoulder and eyed her short husband. "But don't worry, things will be fine. I'm sure if you just keep being yourself, they'll manage to like you. Be careful with my brother though, he might tease you with your height. Maybe Mom will, too. But Dad will mostly be quiet about it, he didn't like teasing other people for their, ugh, shortcomings," She bit her lip. "Pun intended. No offense."
"None taken," he sneered.
Hange refocused on the path that seemed really endless as they continued to stroll. Finally, Hange craned her neck into one certain direction. She stopped on her tracks and started heading for the house at the corner. Levi followed her.
The house was really big, well, to Levi's taste. The stone house looked just like all the other houses he had seen in Stohess District, with many windows and a huge, wooden door which was open at the moment. Beside the house was a massive tree that seemed to provide shade. In the overshadowed place in the front yard, there was a table and chairs stationed on it. The yard was also lined with different types of flowers, which Levi was sure was her mother's doing.
He took in the sight of the house and finally noticed the old man sitting on a wheelchair, staring blankly ahead. His wrinkled hand and the shade of his brown hair which was exactly like his wife's were the first things that caught his attention. He also looked extremely pale. Levi gazed down at the man's torso which was covered with a blanket and noticed that only one leg and foot were resting just below it.
The man's head turned and when he did, his eyes widened a little. He caught sight of his daughter, now on her sixth month and heavily pregnant with her child. A smile crept on the man's face and his expression cheered up a little.
Hange hurried on her steps, her heart hammering on her chest. She opened the gate to their house. She saw that her father had reached his hands out, motioning for her to come closer, and she did. She ran to her father like a child would do after getting wounded.
She dropped the small bag she had on her hands and knelt on the ground before her father. Looking up to see the face of the man he looked up to all her life, she saw the brown eyes that had mirrored her own, the wrinkled forehead that creased even more as he smiled down at her, the dark brown hair that are starting to turn silver.
"Dad…" she managed to croak out, tears now threatening to fall into her cheeks. She missed him a lot. People would say that it's only been two fucking years, but to a soldier who feared that every excursion beyond the walls was her last, two years seemed like an endless suffering and fear. "I'm home,"
The man smiled. "Welcome home, my sweet pea," his voice almost cracked. Almost. He cupped her face in between his palms. "But I'm kind of wondering what my little girl is doing here," He frowned.
"I'm sorry if I haven't been replying to your letters, I've been really busy," She sighed. "With a lot of things." Hange wrapped her arms around his father's body. "I'm staying here for a week,"
"With your husband, I presume?" the old man glanced behind his daughter's back, then looked back to her. "And with this little one, too." He gently placed his hand on top of her belly.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Hange bit her lip.
"You keep on apologizing. You're not at fault here, my darling," The man once again glanced behind her back, and went eye to eye with Levi. He motioned for the short man to come, which he did.
Levi stopped behind his wife, who had already gotten up from the ground. A few grasses had stuck to the hem of the overcoat she was wearing. "Daddy, this is my husband, Levi Ackerman,"
The old man smiled, showing his perfectly white teeth. He reached his right hand out once more, and Levi anticipated a handshake. But the man clenched his fist in a manner only a soldier owned, and his clenched hand landed on his chest, making the Survey Corps salute. "It's an honor to finally meet humanity's strongest soldier. I am Nathaniel Zoe, Hange's father. I'm still deeply sorry we couldn't attend your wedding."
Levi was taken aback, but he mimicked his gesture and did the salute. He tried to not display the usual scowl on his face. "It's perfectly alright, Sir." As he uttered the words, his eyes trailed to the old man's covered torso and finally realized that the man's right leg was missing.
Nathaniel, upon noticing where Levi's eyes had gone, suddenly released a chuckle. He cleared his throat. "I was a soldier too, once. Got bit off by a Titan. Hange didn't tell you this, son?"
He glanced at his wife, who had tangled her arm with his own. Hange had somehow sensed his uneasiness about holding his usual attitude back. She offered him an apologetic smile.
"Well, we have a week to talk about that," Nathaniel smiled, then turned to his pregnant daughter. "Hange, why don't you go inside and greet your mother and your brother's wife? I'm sure they missed you a lot, too."
Hange's mother, Elizabeth Zoe, was a woman who always had a huge grin on her face. Her hair, which was curly and wild, was also brown, like Hange and her father, but hers was a little lighter. She was wearing the typical clothes a mother would, the long-sleeved button-up and a skirt that ran to her heels. She was also wearing an apron. The two found her in the kitchen with Hange's brother's wife, Emilia Carter-Zoe. Levi had already introduced himself and tried to be polite for the sake of his wife's now apologetic eyes.
Elizabeth, despite the rather cheery attitude, teared up as Hange walked through the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around the mother she loved so much. "Oh, Mom, I missed you too." Her voice was shaking.
Levi leaned against the doorframe and just stared at the two, a small smile on his face was evident. Seeing Hange about to burst with happiness had somehow made him happy, too.
"You haven't been writing letters, we didn't know if you're still alive or you're already eaten by the Titans and the last one letter you sent got us all so freaked out! How could you get married without even letting us come? You didn't even tell us you're pregnant now!" The woman screeched, sobbing as she continued to hug her daughter.
Levi bit his lip as he continued to stare at the two, entertained at the fact that Hange really took after her mother's attitude; loud and fussy sometimes.
"How far along are you, anyway?" Elizabeth let go of her daughter and just held her shoulders.
Hange hesitated at first. "Well…" she looked over her shoulder and saw Levi smirk. She stuck her tongue out to him before turning back to her mother. "Six months…."
"See? Six months!" The woman yelped once again.
"Wait," Emilia, who had just been an audience to the two's bickering, suddenly spoke. Her long, blonde hair glistened. "Hange, you're six months pregnant? You belly looks larger than it should be," the beautiful woman's forehead was furrowed as she eyed her belly.
"Well, I don't know. My husband and I just think the baby is really healthy," She snapped and smiled at her sister-in-law. Hange looked around, and seemed to notice that her brother wasn't present. Their kids weren't even there. "Where's Nicholas, and the kids anyway? I miss them."
"Your brother is in the Capital, treating a patient there. The kids are upstairs taking their afternoon nap. The new baby is with them, being taken care of by the sitter." Her mother interjected. "Hange my dear, you and your husband look tired. It's probably best for you two to rest the afternoon off. I'll call you when dinner's ready." The woman smiled at her daughter, then shot Levi a look as well. She flashed a smile at his direction too.
Hange nodded. She hugged her mother once more and murmured something into her ear, probably words of affection that Levi didn't really hear. They walked around the house for a while, and Levi marvelled at the contour of what seemed like a mansion to his eyes. The house was complete with a living room, a dining room, a kitchen, a library and even a terrace. The bedrooms were upstairs. He took their bags and followed Hange to her childhood bedroom.
Her bedroom was at the end of the hallway. She turned the knob and opened the door. The woman got inside first and stepped aside to let her husband in. "Welcome to my room," she muttered.
Levi gazed around, taking in the sight of the room Hange owned. There was one bed by the window, but it was large enough to accommodate the two. The sheets looked like they were freshly changed. There was a desk beside her bed and a lamp, adorned by books. On one corner, there was a cabinet for clothes, and beside it was a large shelf that almost got to the ceiling. Numerous things were placed on it, but they were mostly books. The glass reflected some light and Levi noticed the picture frame.
He moved for closer inspection. It was a picture. Clearly, their family was rich enough to own those things that take pictures, Levi didn't even know what it was called. He had heard, though, that those things were remnants from the old world and that only very few people owned it, mostly those citizens coming from Wall Sina and those privileged enough who live in Wall Rose.
He had his eyes locked on the picture. It wasn't colored, but he could clearly decipher that the man in the picture was wearing a Survey Corps uniform, complete with the gear. He was holding a little girl on his arms, wearing glasses. The girl's hair was cropped short and she was missing some tooth. But both were beaming happily.
Hange moved beside him, her hands stroking her belly. "If you want to ask, that's me and my Dad, taken just before he got in a mission and lost his right leg,"
Levi sensed the bitterness in her voice, and he didn't want to reopen wounds that have already healed. He turned his back and moved to another corner, where he found a small piano. "You play?" he asked.
"A little, yes. Mom taught me." She adjusted her glasses before sitting on the foot of the bed.
Levi seemed a little hesitant at first, but once his fingers hit the keys, they were unstoppable. He started playing an unknown tune. Hange's eyes widened as she gazed at her husband.
He was playing the piano. She didn't know he could do that.
She listened to him play, and somehow she felt him through the music. It was a little sad but she didn't care. He played beautifully and she could feel herself becoming more and more drawn to the man.
He finished. Levi tilted his head and eyed his wife.
"I didn't know you can play," she uttered, her voice a little low, still hazy from the music he just played.
"My uncle, Ke-" He stopped midsentence. "My uncle taught me how. Just a few songs."
Hange smiled at him, but the man just shrugged his shoulder and laid on the bed. He immediately fell asleep.
Night has fallen; the moon lit a luminous silver in the ever dark sky.
They had finished dinner. Levi met Hange's brother Nicholas, who was a famed doctor at Wall Sina. The man is tall, maybe as tall as Erwin. His hair was brown like his sister and he was also wearing glasses. The two could never be mistaken as siblings. Levi also met Nicholas' and Emilia's three beautiful daughters; Samantha, 5; Veronica, 4; and the youngest one Romian, 3 months old.
The family was loud, as Levi had expected, mostly because of her mother who kept on talking and telling stories about Hange's childhood, much to her chagrin. Levi remained quiet and threw in a statement every once in a while, like Hange's father did. Her brother Nicholas was also a quiet man but he was a really funny guy who threw puns when he deemed it necessary.
Hange had gone to her bedroom to rest. Levi just helped clean the dishes but he was now on his way to the room he shared with Hange.
He gazed out the window in the living room and saw that it was dark outside save for the lights on the posts. He also noticed that the huge, wooden door was open he caught sight of some shadow.
Levi walked out to see for himself who the person outside was. He got out of the house and found Nathaniel Zoe sitting on his wheelchair and gazing upon the dark sky, a smile on his wrinkled face. His face reminded Levi of the father he never had.
He cleared his throat. "It's cold out, Sir. It's also getting late. You should be resting." he walked his way to the man and when he still didn't move, Levi leaned his back against the wall.
Nathaniel looked over his shoulder and saw that his son-in-law was now standing beside him. "I'm actually used to the cold, Son. I do this almost every night, overlooking at those damned walls, gazing at the sky." His voice was gruff.
Levi's eyes softened. "We are very much the same, Sir."
Nathaniel pursed his lips. "Why do you insist on calling me Sir? You can call me Dad, now that you're my daughter's husband."
Levi remained quiet. He gazed up at the dark sky too and crossed his arms before his muscled chest.
The man spoke. "You must be really good. People call you the strongest man alive. How true is that?"
Levi blinked and contemplated the man's words. Honestly, he hated being called the stupid title. He knew he was a good fighter, but he didn't need people to press it. He just wanted to be himself. And damn, he wasn't a man to look up to, anyway. "I'm hardly the strongest man alive,"
"I see," He nodded. "I mentioned earlier, I was a soldier of the Survey Corps too. But one fateful encounter with a really ravenous Titan ended my service. I lost my leg that day and although I retained the other, it was badly injured. I've been in this wheelchair for twenty years."
Levi didn't speak so the man continued. "I almost died. But what killed me was that moment when I saw my daughter's eyes flaring up with undiscernible anger. She told me one day that she wanted to become a member of the Survey Corps. I've never feared for anything in my whole life. I may have survived the encounter with the Titan but my daughter telling me that she wanted to seek revenge killed me right on the spot.
"She was persistent. I couldn't stop her. It was nice hearing that she topped her class that year, but what was to come scared the ever loving hell out of me. I also heard she had taken a great liking to studying the Titans but that didn't worry me a bit, as she had probably taken that attitude from me. I pioneered the experiments on Titans, you see.
"But still, I feared for her safety. So when Hange told me that she married you, Levi Ackerman, I was more than relieved."
The man had Levi's full attention. He didn't know where he's getting at but he wanted to listen.
The man turned on his wheelchair and faced him. "I know who you are, Ackerman, and I know where you're from. I'm still kind of wondering why you married my daughter. But I need to ask you one thing."
Levi found his voice. "What is it?"
"Do you love my daughter?"
His eyes widened. The old man's words pierced through his whole being and his mind was knocked off a little. Levi contemplated his own feelings. Over the past few months that they had been together, he saw the real Hange – the woman who wasn't a soldier, or a Titan-obsessed person, but he saw her just the way she is.
A woman who is weak, but still tried to move on. A woman who pretended to be strong, but her façade still cracks.
She was a woman of contradiction. A stained soul just like he is.
His heart stopped beating.
"Yes, I do. I love her."
A/N: Longest chapter ever. My back is already hurting dammit. Hope you didn't get bored though. It was tiring, but this was a really fun thing to write. Fuck it took me five straight hours to do this so I'm hoping you people enjoyed this. Give me a review and tell me how I did! I will really appreciate your responses.