Mirage
A/N: I'm still kind of surprised I went this far into writing this. I actually planned this story to become a fifteen-chapter one, but damn I'm on Chapter 15 already. I have fallen deeply inlove with this ship and now there's nothing I can do about it. Levihan forever guys!
Summary: Humanity's strongest soldier had secrets of his own. So when the woman he loved died, he turns on another for pure companionship and comfort. But a night of mistake has its consequences. Levihan.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: ALMOST
It wasn't the same dream – or rather, nightmare, anymore.
The seemingly endless screams and blood gushing whenever sleep claims him had ceased. He no longer sees her bloodied frame docked on the foot of the tree, nor hears her cries for help echoing in the forest as the Female Titan smashed her body.
He had gotten over it. He had finally realized and accepted that the woman is now dead and there's nothing he could do about it; yes, he could've saved her. They could be in each other's arms right now, but it's not going to be the same as he was just blinded by the will to protect her at all costs.
He didn't love Petra. Maybe he had, but it was more like a love and concern for a comrade, or even like the little sister that he had lost long ago.
It's finally time to step out of those haunted shadows and start moving forward.
Levi's eyes cracked open. He was greeted by the unfamiliar ceiling and ambiance of the room, which was light and open to the feeling. Sitting up, he looked around and found the old piano in a corner, the towering shelf of books, and the picture frame with a man and a smiling little girl in it.
Hange's childhood bedroom.
He sighed. They have been staying in Hange's hometown for four days, and if he'd be honest with himself, he totally liked the place. It was naturally peaceful, the air was warm and every morning the sweet floral scent from Elizabeth Zoe's garden reaches his nostrils. It made him forget about the horrors that taunt them outside the walls and it brought him a rather relieved feeling, knowing that if ever Wall Rose will be breached at this exact moment, his pregnant wife is inside humanity's safest wall.
If only they could all live without the fear of those filthy creatures, then maybe things will be different.
Levi turned to the sleeping form of his wife. Her hair was lose from its usual ponytail, and some wisps of her brown hair covered her face. Reaching his calloused hand out, his thumb brushed the tendrils away so he could get a full view of Hange's simply beautiful appearance.
The woman's lips were a little parted, her hands were clutching the white sheets, and she was snoring lightly. He couldn't stop himself. He leaned his body forward and pressed a kiss on her forehead, down to the cute nose he adored so much and finally to her waiting luscious lips.
Fearing that the action will jerk her awake, he only gave her a little peck on her lips and immediately pulled away.
A breath escape his lips, and his awe-stricken mind suddenly remembered about the dream he had last night. It wasn't hell, like all the other dreams that haunted his nights before, but the one he had while he was in deep slumber and curled up against his wife's body was something peaceful, one that he had never seen before, and it made his chest bubble with unfathomable happiness.
He closed his eyes and tried to recollect his very vivid dream.
He was chasing two little girls, both with wild curly brown hair, and their locks were both hanging lose on their backs. Wearing matching dresses that that were just below their knees, they were giggling as they tried to run fast and evade the dark-haired man running after them. Even he himself had this huge, goofy smile on his face as he tried to catch the two girls.
With one last sprint, Levi managed to catch the two in his arms, but they never stopped giggling. Both girls were trying to get lose from his tight grip, which made him a little off-balanced causing him to fall on his back against the lush, green grass that they were previously running in. The two landed on top of him and they smiled down to their father.
"Daddy, do it again, please! Chase us again!" The older brunette, who Levi measured is about seven years old, beamed. She had some missing teeth as she flashed them against her lips.
"Again? I'm so tired, I can hardly get up," Levi muttered. Seeing the two girls frown, he motioned for them to stand up. They started running again and Levi prepared himself for another sprint, but before he stepped forward, he glanced around him.
He saw the small stone house that seemed lone in the wide field, and when he trailed his eyes to the open door, he caught sight of a smiling brunette woman. Her brown hair, which was very much like the girls he was previously chasing, was tied into a lose ponytail. Her eyeglasses was dangling on the tip of her nose.
She flashed him a sweet smile, then waved. Levi raised his right hand a little and waved back.
Levi opened his eyes.
When he did, he found himself staring at the very same woman he saw in his dream.
"What are you doing sitting here on the bed with your eyes closed? You were also smiling like an idiot, Levi. Are you sick?" Hange crossed her arms before her now massive chest and cast him a confused look. Her hair was now tied into a tight ponytail, having grabbed a rubber while Levi himself was off to his own world.
"I am not," Levi muttered, his cheeks flushing a little. He moved to stand up, his feet touching the cool floor. "Something just crossed my mind, that's all."
He walked towards the window and flung the curtains into the side to catch an outside glimpse, leaving Hange wondering. She sat cross-legged on the bed as she continued to stare at Levi's bare back.
She pouted. "Well, if you say so." She also stood up and head for her desk. Hange pulled the chair and sat, then grabbed a piece of paper and the quill pen. The smell of fresh ink hit her nostrils but she ignored it and started scribbling.
When Levi noticed this, he leaned his back against the wall. "What are you writing?" he snapped.
Her hold on the pen was tight. "A new theory about the Titans that suddenly popped into my head."
"Writing about those creatures so early in the morning," he sneered. "You're a little screwed." Levi grabbed his duffel bag and rummaged through the things he brought for their trip. He pulled out some change of clothes; a black khaki pants and a blue button-up shirt that Mike and Erwin gave him on his birthday.
He walked towards the adjoined bathroom but before he could open it, Hange suddenly spoke. "Levi? Wanna go out with me today?" she tucked the pen behind her ear. "I'd like to show you around the place. Is that okay with you?"
Levi pondered her request. They have nothing to do, anyway. They'd been stuck in the house for days, Hange was catching up with the stories of her parents and Levi just sat beside her and listened, trying to draw his attention to what her family members were saying. "Yeah, sure. Where are we going?"
She beamed, flashing her perfectly white teeth against those luscious lips. "I'll tell you later. Go take a bath first."
Hange opened her cabinet and tried to look for some old clothes she used to wear. She found the usual blouses with assorted colors but she shrugged those off. She wanted to wear something special, one that will make her look a little different than usual.
But then she realized, that even if she found a decent piece of clothing to wear from her cabinet, none of them will instantly fit her. She was heavily pregnant, for heaven's sake.
Sighing, she hurriedly went out of her room and searched the house for Emilia. She found her with their mother, cooking in the kitchen as usual. The two seemed completely surprised as Hange suddenly burst inside and went straight to Emilia's side, ignoring her mother as she passed.
She held the blonde woman's hand in hers. "Emilia, I need your help." She managed to croak out.
"What is it about? Your pregnancy? Marriage? Tell me, Hange," Emilia smiled at her.
Her forehead crossed at the things that her sister-in-law had enumerated, knowing very well that none of those are surfacing her current dilemma. She breathed deeply before replying. "You know very well that I hate wearing fancy clothes because as a soldier, we never really need it. So what I have with me now are a few oversized blouses to accommodate my pregnancy, and some that actually fit me. But… Levi and I are going out today, and I want to wear something really special. I'd like to ask if you have some nice pregnancy clothes kept in your storage that I can borrow."
"Going on a date with your husband?" her mother snapped and Hange felt her cheeks flared up.
"No! I just like to show him around the place so he could get familiar with it. He's my husband, anyway." She muttered.
Her sister-in-law just grinned at her and tugged her to her room. She opened the closet she shared with Nicholas and it turns out, Emilia had plenty of the nice pregnancy clothes that Hange had in mind.
She picked a yellow dress that fell just under the knee; the sleeves were also long and reached her wrists. The dress wasn't that tight on her belly and it just fitted her perfectly.
Hange thanked Emilia and also asked if she could borrow some more clothes to take with her when they left for the Headquarters. Her sister-in-law gladly complied and even joked that she's not getting pregnant anytime soon anyway and won't need those clothes.
The bespectacled woman prepared herself and hurried down to where Levi was waiting. She got out of the house and found her rather infuriated husband leaning his back against the wall, a scowl plastered on his face.
Hange saw that the man was a little taken aback, his eyes widened as he took in her appearance smoothly.
He cleared his throat before speaking. "What took you so long? I've been waiting here for ages, Shitty Glasses."
She bit her lip before walking towards him. "You need to work your patience. You're so hotheaded!" Her lips curled into a smile. "I don't look disgusting, do I?"
"I don't think you'd like an honest answer to that," He smirked, a mocking one that somehow made her insides melt. "A little, yes." Levi bit his lip.
Hange smacked him in the shoulder, which was like hitting a hard rock. She winced in pain but shrugged it off completely. "You don't look bad yourself, I see you wore Erwin and Mike's little present for you." She trailed her eyes on the blue button-up shirt that hugged his muscular body. "Did you know I was the one who chose that color? Erwin desperately wanted green, and Mike chose pink. But I said blue would suit your cold attitude."
Levi frowned. "Good instinct."
Hange started walking ahead, trailing the small path into the village. Levi billowed just behind her and followed wherever she wanted to go.
They passed by several fruit stands and Levi remembered that day two months ago when the woman just woke him in the middle of the night and forced him to buy strawberries for her. They ended up traveling to Stohess District due to her cravings that Levi believed were so ridiculous.
He trailed his eyes along several other stores that lined the village and found one mark that caught his attention. He called Hange, who was walking incredibly fast for a woman on her sixth month of pregnancy. "Hold up, those brooms are 50% off."
Hange looked over her shoulder and gave her husband an irritated look. Her forehead crossed. "Oh come on, you're the certified Neat Freak, aren't you? You still have like, a million brooms back in your cabinet in the Headquarters." Her eyes widened when Levi just completely ignored her and went straight for the store. "What the… Hey Levi, wait up!"
The dark-haired man ended up buying three fucking brooms. He immediately paid up and just nodded to the vendor before turning to Hange. "Lead the way, Four Eyes." He had this huge grin on his face.
She couldn't help but smile at the man. "You're unbelievable." Hange let out a sigh, and started to walk. She hesitantly tugged her husband's wrist on her hand.
"Yeah, I get that a lot." Levi pursed his lips and took in the path that they were heading. From afar, he could see a small clearing filled with nothing but lush, green grass and some scattered trees. "Where are we going anyway?"
Hange ignored him and just remained. She continued tugging him through the open field, ignoring the heat of the sun now prickling her skin. They walked straight ahead, until she caught sight of the huge, old tree that she used to love staying at when she was younger. She had claimed it as her spot and often went to it so she could read silently as the wind blew gently around her.
When they reached it, Hange's face lit up and marveled about how the place brought her peace and relaxation. Memories suddenly flooded her mind and she couldn't help but smile as she remembered the good times she spent here, just learning everything the world can offer. She gritted her teeth before turning to face Levi. "Welcome to my place!" She said.
Levi looked around and glanced over the horizon. It wasn't new to see something like this, but somehow the view is a little different from what they usually see back at Wall Rose. "Your spot, huh?"
"Yeah, I go here a lot when I was a kid. Even as I became a teenager and before enlisting as a soldier, this was my favorite place to retreat to so I can manage to read in peace." Hange placed her hand on her lower back for support, and the other one on her rounded belly.
Levi noted her movement and tried to aid her as she sat on the shade the enormous tree provided. He held her arm and placed a hand at the small of her back for support. She muttered a thanks when she finally sat, leaning her back against the trunk of the tree. He bent in and also sat beside the woman, their bodies touching. His one arm snaked around her side and pulled her closer to him.
Hange automatically rested her head against his shoulder. "This is nice, right? Back in the Headquarters we can never do this kind of thing." She uttered, her voice a little low.
"What kind of thing?" He asked.
"You know, this. Just resting, relaxing… Never worrying about the Titans, our expeditions, the trainings that we have to do everyday." Hange sighed. "The past four days that we have spent here made me realize that I'm a little tired of all the things happening in the Corps. The war, the endless fighting, the constant fear that the next day will be my death. I'm not afraid, not anymore. I'm just really tired… What are we really fighting for, Levi?"
It took him a minute before answering. She could tell that the man was contemplating her words, and it made her feel a little ecstatic at the fact that she could have these kind of conversations with the man everybody deemed as cold and distant.
They just never knew that there was more to him than his obsession with cleanliness, his deathly glare and the cold façade.
To her, he was just Levi. A person like her, seemingly lost and still trying to find a way out of the dungeon he himself created. He wasn't Captain Levi, or Lance Corporal Levi, or Humanity's Strongest.
To Hange, he was just a man who happened to have a position and a title. But like everybody else, he was human too. Even if people couldn't see his emotions because he tried to hide it, she could see him. She could see the real him.
She'd be damned if she won't admit that in their first meeting, she was already strangely attracted to him. His glare was cold and piercing, but it somehow connected to her. His actions were menacing and people could hardly decipher his harsh actions, rude statements and weird shit jokes, but she gets him everytime.
And now they're living as husband and wife, expecting a child in a few months. His actions towards her had softened and she appreciated everything he had done, even the simplest things like draping the sheets over her body when he thought she was asleep. Her strange attraction to him intensified.
Turned into something more.
She was holding back, but she couldn't keep doing this forever.
She needed to release herself.
"We're fighting for our future, Hange. For what lies ahead. For the next generation, for humanity's progress and continued survival. We are fighting to live." Levi uttered under his breath.
"That sounds like something that came straight out of the manual of a Survey Corps soldier." She could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest as her previous thoughts about her feelings taunted her. Hange tried to compose herself and waited for his reply, which took a really long while.
Silence.
"I'm fighting for you, for our child, for our family."
She could've sworn her heart stopped beating frantically. Hange bit her lip and tried to change the topic. She wasn't ready for what's coming out of his mouth next. Not yet. "H-Have you ever wondered… I mean, I wouldn't assume that marrying me and having a kid with me have ever crossed your mind, right? We're comrades… Friends. We've known each other for more than five years. I never thought this day would come. Did you?" She gave out a nervous laugh.
"No, never." He simply said.
"It's just funny how things can unexpectedly happen, you know. Things you initially deemed impossible but happened anyway."
"Do you regret it?"
"What?"
His left hand, which was previously resting against his knee, suddenly reached out and landed on her belly. He started stroking it. "Do you regret what happened to us that night?"
Hange fell completely quiet. It was the first time Levi brought up that night, since the day they told Erwin. She was careful not to mention it to him as they promised to each other to just keep what happened under wraps, but yeah, their little consequence came and it changed things between them. "No, I don't." she croaked out after a while. "I have never regretted what happened to us that night, Levi. And I think of our baby as a miracle. If this didn't happen, I would still be the immature woman obsessed with Titans. I didn't mean it the way it sounds, but I know I have changed a lot."
Levi cracked a small smile. "Yes, you have." He bit his lip before speaking. "Look, Hange. I'm still sorry for what I did, please keep that in mind."
"But do you regret it?"
"At first, yes. But that moment when I…" He stroked her rounded belly again. "That moment when I first saw and felt our brat moving inside you. I thought that somehow, it wasn't that bad after all."
Hange's lips curled into a smile, and held herself from crying. Her tears are now threatening to fall.
"Thank you, Hange," He suddenly spoke.
"F-For what?"
"For giving me something I never knew I wanted."
"And what is that?" She could feel her heart soaring.
"A life," he answered. Levi tilted her chin, looked straight into her brown eyes.
Then he gently pressed his lips against hers.
A/N: This just came up. I didn't really plan the events that happened here. But here's me hoping you liked it!