P.E.R.C.Y. J.A.C.K.S.O.N.

"Through here!"

"Are we actually gonna make it?" Usopp laughed in delight. He, of all people, should've known better. For no sooner had these words left his mouth, Carina, Piper and the remaining Strawhats spilled out into a grand amphitheater. There, in the center of all the cheering and the fireworks, stood Tesoro, grinning expectantly at them.

"Where's the money?" asked Chopper.

"There is no vault, is there?" Nami murmured in disbelief.

"Quite the surprise, I'm sure," Tesoro's voice boomed through the wide, open space, "You're just in time for the main event!"

"So this is…" said Robin.

"That's right! It's the stage for Roronoa Zoro and Perseus Jackson's executions! Here are the stars now!"

A golden spotlight blinked into existence, illuminating twin, star-shaped, golden structures.

"Zoro!"

"Percy!"

Zoro's steely gaze stared impassively at Tesoro. Perhaps he would've said something to his friends, but a glob of gold across his mouth prevented any possible last words. As for Percy, he already looked dead. Nami was glad that Luffy and Annabeth weren't here to see them.

"You even have a view of the Celestial Dragons leaving with their tribute," Tesoro continued, gesturing grandly at a magnificent ship docked in the gold lake below, "Really, quite the show. Come and take a bow, Carina, my dear."

"Carina?" Nami whispered.

"We trusted you!" Piper roared in outrage, "I trusted you! You were my only friend on this stupid ship!"

"Well, this is Gran Tesoro," Carina said smugly, strutting to take her place at Tesoro's side, "What's that saying? He who falls for ruses, loses. You should've known better than to trust me with your secrets. Amnesia, Piper, really?"

"Now that you've found where you belong, Piper, my dear," said Tesoro, "I'm afraid I'm just going to have to let you go. It's a shame, really; you had so much potential."

"You played your parts beautifully, darlings," Baccarat said warmly, "Your disguises were quite entertaining."

"We've been watching you the whole time," Tanaka bragged, "We do this all the time."

"But it takes reeeally famous pirates to make it interesting," said Dice.

Nami collapsed to her knees, "We're trapped! We've failed!"

Tesoro spread his arms wide and the crowd cheered even louder, "It's the greatest show in the world! And I owe it all to you. As a reward, how about a sneak peak at another show in progress?"

With a snap of his fingers, a giant screen flickered on above Zoro and Percy's heads. Luffy, Franky and Annabeth were in the pump room, along with several men that the Strawhats didn't recognize.

"Oh, Luffy," Nami choked back a sob, "Annabeth…"

On the screen, Luffy smashed the pipe open with his head. A short, blue-haired man held him as he collapsed from the sea water and the others danced around, believing themselves free. But with another snap of Tesoro's fingers, the exits all snapped shut. Sea water poured in from vents around the room.

"I guess they know we're here!" they heard Franky shout, "Annabeth?"

"I'm fine! Get Luffy!" is all they heard from their blonde nakama. She was nowhere to be seen. Mere seconds later, all of them disappeared under the whirlpool of sea water. No one resurfaced.

"No!" Chopper screamed.

"Monster!" Brook wailed.

"Thank you," Tesoro quipped, "The moment hope turns to despair! It's the greatest entertainment! And now, for the grand finale!"

"You want a show?" Sanji growled, "I'll give you a damn show!"

"Sanji, wait!"

But he was already gone, leaping through the air at Tesoro. He didn't even get close before a golden tendril speared him through his side. Sanji shouted in pain as said tendril pulled him into the air. More tendrils shot at the platform where the others stood, grabbing everyone and hauling them into the air alongside Sanji.

Tesoro's maniacal cackle rose above the noise of the cheers, "Now that's entertainment! Bonus, you get front row seats to the event of the century! Drumroll, please!"

Showers of gold burst from the main tower and all the smaller ones around the rim of the ship, bathing everyone in Tesoro's gold once again. The Strawhats watched, helpless, as twin, giant, golden arms wielding identical, golden axes, emerged from the tower and swung in a large arc. Percy was still dead to the world and for a second, Zoro actually looked worried. The axes were mere inches from cutting Percy and Zoro in two when suddenly, they stopped.

This got Tesoro to pause, "What?"

In another instant, the lights cut out across the whole amphitheater.

"Fix the damn lights!" Tesoro snarled at Baccarat, the latter of whom was already scrambling off to do just that. Tesoro whipped around at the sound of Nami chuckling. "Think this is funny, do you?"

"No," Nami said calmly, "I'm just wondering who tricked who."

The tower above them gave an ominous rumble before it, and all the towers along the rim of the ship, erupted in giant streams of water.

"This is…" Tanaka muttered, confused, "Sea water!" and he wilted to the ground.

"Boss, watch out!" Dice shielded Tesoro as a heavy stream of sea water dropped on their heads.

Meanwhile, all across the ship, cries of celebration joined together in a joyous chorus. Finally, everyone was free.

Speaking of everyone, the gold covering Zoro and Percy darkened and crumbled under the spray of sea water, allowing the two Strawhats to fall, unharmed, to the platform below.

"AAAAAH!"

"FRANKY I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Everyone looked up as two figures shot out of the main tower and plummeted to the earth, landing with a splash in the now normal lake behind them. Franky sprung from the water and struck a pose.

"Super Comeback time!"

"That's some entrance," noted Sanji, "Uh…Annabeth?"

Annabeth dragged herself out of the water, muttering obscenities at Franky under her breath in english that made Nami grin.

"I…can't believe that worked," Annabeth grumbled, taking a moment to dump sea water out of her soggy boots, "You still could've caught me, though."

"Looks like we made it just under the wire," Franky declared, wisely choosing not to address the daughter of Athena, lest he incur her wrath.

"What is this?"

Tesoro strolled towards them under the safety of Baccarat's umbrella.

"You're too fancy for your own good," Nami said smugly, "We knew you'd make it rain gold at the end of your show. We knew because Carina told us."

Tesoro recoiled in horror as Carina, his most prized informant, gave him a cheeky wink from her new position in between Nami and Piper, "Sorry boss, but I'm really on their side. You were so focused on not telling Piper anything that you never looked close enough at me."

"Impossible!" Tesoro snarled.

Carina laughed, "This whole night was our show. You've only seen what we wanted you to see."

"We were never aiming for the money," said Nami. She held out her palm to the man to show him a puddle of sea water, "We knew that if we had this, we couldn't lose."

"We figured that even if we got the money, you'd have a record of the serial numbers on the bills in your vault and catch us anyway," said Annabeth, "So we gave up on the vault immediately."

"Getting me underground was the plan all along," Franky grinned, "All it took was hooking up the pump to the fountain system."

"Luffy didn't know anything about it, of course," said Robin.

"He can't keep a secret to save his life," Chopper agreed.

"You can't control us anymore, big guy," said Leo, repeatedly tossing a lug wrench in the air and catching it, "It's a fair fight now, and I count not so many of you and a whole bunch of us. How's that for luck?"

"We'll be taking our friends back now," Piper told her former boss, "And you can't fire me, because I quit!"

The Strawhats pulled off their disguises with a flourish, revealing matching, black bodysuits. "We're pirates, Tesoro," said Nami, "We don't play by anyone's rules!"

"You're all a bunch of thugs," Tesoro growled.

"Not thugs, pirates," Annabeth corrected him, "And I thought this was the Gran Tesoro? Or is this not-,"

"The greatest entertainment!" everyone shouted smugly.

"AAAAAH!"

Everyone looked up as the man of the hour, Strawhat Luffy, fell from the sky and bounced to a stop at Nami's feet.

"You did it, Luffy," Nami said excitedly, "Zoro and Percy are safe. Now all you have to do is kick Tesoro's ass."

"We did it?" Luffy asked weakly, struggling to stand.

"Go get him, Luffy," said Piper, pulling her new captain to his feet.

Luffy, remembering what he was doing, straightened and glared in hatred at Tesoro, "I made myself a promise to kick your ass and I'm gonna keep it!"

"Well, would you look at that?"

"Zoro!"

A body whizzed past Tesoro's right ear and hit Annabeth with a small thud.

"Percy?" she gasped, clutching her boyfriend tighter, "Percy, wake up!"

Zoro slowly stalked down the platform stairs, fastening his bandana and fixing Tesoro with the look of a hungry predator. With blood dripping from his chin and the demonic aura radiating from his very being, Zoro looked absolutely terrifying. Even Dice, the self-proclaimed masochist, took a step back in shock.

"The moment hope turns to despair," he said calmly, fixing his former captor with a shit-eating grin, "I'm short on experience with that one. Maybe you could tell me about it?"

"You people don't know the meaning of hope or despair."

"I don't like that look," Usopp said nervously, "Get ready, everyone!"

That was when Tesoro finally lost it. "I'm the one with the money now. I DECIDE WHO GETS TO LAUGH."

-and the amphitheater exploded in gold. Golden tsunamis ravaged the stands, claiming countless victims while more, giant waves of gold surrounded the Strawhats on all sides.

But they were already gone. They'd planned for this moment too, each Strawhat splitting up and taking to the sky with either Robin and her wings, Franky and his coup de boo, Sanji and his skywalk or Leo and his handmade, handheld helicopter that he clung to from handlebars he appropriated from the bed frame in their hotel room. They all landed safely out of range of the gold, only to watch in terrified awe as a golden colossus emerged from the lake.

"Uh, I think he might be angry," said Franky.

"Watch! I've got a second act that will blow you away!"

"Run for cover!"

No one needed Piper to tell them twice. Everyone fled for their lives from the giant, eager not to get crushed under the weight of several tons of gold. Everyone, that is, except for Luffy.

"I have all the money, Strawhat," Tesoro was saying, "I get to make all the rules! I am a God among men!"

Leo whistled, "Probably shouldn't say that, bud." Nobody heard him or the thunder rumbling in the distance though; they were too busy focusing on the bombardment of cannonballs peppering the ship and the colossus controlled by Tesoro.

"Is that the Navy?" Usopp shouted over the chaos.

"They seriously firing on civilians now?" Sanji shouted, "Somehow I'm not surprised."

And yet, the cannonballs did absolutely nothing to slow Tesoro down.

"Well, Strawhat?" Tesoro asked in a maniacal tone, "Kneel before your God."

"I couldn't give a crap who you are," Luffy growled as his skin began to smoke, "You're nothing next to the Gods I've met. The last one I fought couldn't beat me either."

Luffy sprung into the air, "SO I'M STILL GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"

Third Gear!

Luffy's fist ballooned to several times the size of his body and hardened to black before meeting Giant Tesoro's fist in an epic collision that sent shockwaves rippling across the entire ship. Unfortunately, Tesoro reacted faster than Luffy did, and a second fist sent Luffy flying before he had a chance to react.

"Luffy!"

"Alright, this is what we're doing!" barked the daughter of the goddess of battle strategies, too busy vigorously dunking Percy in and out of the water by his ankles to turn around to address them, "Nami, Carina, Leo and Chopper, go help Luffy. I'll send Percy your way once he's awake. Everyone else will need to take on Tesoro's officers. Sanji and Robin, you're on Tanaka. Everyone else on Baccarat. And Zoro-,"

"EEEEEEEH! I FOUND YOU, RORONOA!"

A spinning ball of haki-clad madness smashed into Zoro at terminal speed, but Zoro held his ground, meeting the ball and stopping it with his swords.

"Oh, I know," Zoro told Annabeth before running off, intent on putting distance between his fight and his friends, "This fucker's mine."

"Everyone, move out!"

"M'am, yes m'am!" Leo gave a salute and pulled his cohort off before anyone could protest.