Mirage

A/N: Damn it.I'm in the beginnings of a severe Writer's Block which might probably cause this story to be put on hiatus. And I have so much to do in school, like tons because my professors are all so cruel. I know, I know – I'm so profoundly fucked. AND THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY GROSS OMG PLEASE NO HATE T_T

Summary: Humanity's strongest soldier had secrets of his own. So when the woman he thought he loved died, he turns on another for pure companionship and comfort. But a night of mistake has its consequences. Levihan.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: UNSPOKEN

With one pillow tucked behind her back, Hange sat on the couch as her eyes earnestly followed her husband's figure pacing around the living room of their rather small house, with Ciel tucked gently against his arms and Theo on hers. Unbeknownst to the man, she'd been quietly observing his subtle actions these days, the scientist in her started noticing Levi's habitual conditioning when it comes to the twins, and she couldn't help but still be in awe about how terribly good Levi was at handling everything.

She often wonders how someone like her could deserve a man like him.

His actions, his words, everything about him clicked right where they should be. This is Levi Ackerman – not only was he dubbed as the glorified humanity's strongest, he is a man of responsibility, an outstanding military man, a trusted comrade, a hands-on father, a caring husband. Over the months, she became a witness of how the once stoic and cold Captain gradually shifted into a thoughtful and considerate person, especially to her, whom he always had occasional banters with before, whom he called numerous petty names an ordinary soldier would have been offended about, but not her.

Hange had lost count of the number of times Levi expressed how much he cared for her and their family, impossible as it may seem, but he had subtly shown her that he meant it when he said he didn't want to lose her. The divorce he worked on for months was now long forgotten, the court had closed their case, and they've been living together under the same roof, like a real family.

There were certain times when he would just randomly initiate passionate kisses, pull her into his lap and touch her in all the right places that would make a woman squirm. It all seemed pretty normal, they're living a nice life, all tension had drained out between them, unlike the first few months of their forced marriage where they literally kept holding themselves back.

And yet, in the midst of it all, as Hange gathered all rational thoughts considering how things were going between her and Levi, she suddenly realized that something was still missing. She couldn't figure out what it was, but she knew there is definitely something she still wanted from Levi that the man hasn't given to her yet.

Things undone…. Words unspoken….

But she also kept thinking, what if it those words she was searching for weren't really meant for her? What if there's another, someone who deserves it more, or rather, someone who had it all along?

She frowned, her brows furrowing at her own clouded thoughts. Hange breathed hard, a rather bleak attempt at dismissing the contemplations on her mind but the thoughts kept bugging her, confusing her even more. She tried to distract herself as she lowered her gaze at her son Theo, the baby was looking up at her with his piercing grey eyes. The expression on his petite face conveyed some thoughtfulness, like he knew what his mother was thinking, like he was aware of the fact that she was once again sinking into an oasis of confusion and she couldn't find a way to climb back up.

Hange smiled at him bitterly before leaning down and pressing a kiss against the soft tuft of chocolate brown hair on his head. The baby squinted in response to her gesture and in that one brief moment, Hange saw the baby's pink small lips curl into a sweet, elusive smile. It lasted mere seconds before his expression crunched back to its usual, blunt façade.

She was so immersed at the fleeting moment she had with Theo that she didn't notice when Levi climbed into the couch next to her. He leaned closer, lightly dropping a kiss on Hange's exposed shoulder thanks to the sleeveless top she was wearing, and also gazed down at his brunet son. Ciel was still stirring delicately on his strong arms. "Poor boys have your nose," he suddenly noted. Levi poked Theo's nose with his index finger before pulling away and leaning his back against the soft mattress of the couch.

She gave him a sideways glance, then offered him a soft smile. "Yeah. But admit it, you like my nose, comrade," Hange mocked, reaching her hand out to pinch his nose, which the man immediately brushed off with his strong forearm. The muscles on his biceps flexed when he repositioned Ciel on his arms.

"I can't really remember telling you that, Shitty Glasses," Levi bit his bottom lip as he tried to hide the smirk slowly forming on his face. Gently, he turned his head and fixed his wife on his cool grey gaze, his cold, steely eyes that made the woman crumble, piercing her on her seat. "Please refresh my memory about that particular moment when I told you that,"

She shrugged, shaking her head and blowing tendrils of his brown hair into the air in the process. "You didn't tell me. I just know," When she saw the perplexed look on his face, Hange chuckled, the sound coming out like chime bells swaying along the wind. She loved when Levi surrendered to her like that, but then again, who wouldn't with the weird things that came out of her mouth? "In the wee hours of the morning before you get up and prepare for the day, you'll kiss me on my forehead, and then my nose… Whenever you find me somewhat slumping around with my eyes closed, you'll lean forward and kiss me just the same,"

Levi's eyes widened, but he tried to control himself and retain his composure. He remained unflinching on his seat, stature defiant and Hange assumed he was weighing his reply in his mind, turning tables in his head. "So you were faking sleep the whole time, just to see if I'll kiss you?" Apparently, it was the only reply he could think of. Hange somehow liked it when he could catch the Captain off-guard like that.

"Changing the topic, aren't you, Levi?" She grinned. "I was testing my hypothesis – that you were fascinated about my nose – I ran some observations and tests just to prove my hypothesis to be correct. Turns out, I was right," She moved closer, their faces so near she could almost smell the freshness of his breath, cool and minty.

Levi just flashed his white teeth against his lips and smirked at her. "That's a rather conceited conclusion you have there," He lowered his gaze to the baby in his arms and noticed that Ciel's hand curled in his finger. When he looked back up, Hange expected his lips crashing against hers, but the man closed the gap between them and pressed a kiss on her nose instead.

Hange just laughed, her heart filled with unfathomable bliss, and in that one brief instant, she somehow forgot about the dilemma that had been taunting her mind earlier. Levi holds this power over her – he's the only one who could turn her into an emotional wreck but hell, she loved every minute of it. Every second of it, even.

They stayed like that for a long while, both of them slumping on the couch with either of the twins on their arms. Hange hesitantly laid her head above her husband's left shoulder, alternately crooning to the twins, while Levi remained quiet all throughout. They painted a picture of a happy family, a rare depiction to find especially in this world they live in where there are Titans around, but as Hange had always noted, good things still happen even if hope is the only thing they could have.

Silence later filled the place, and at that exact moment, Levi and Hange both heard some noises outside the house, there were loud thumps of horses coming and when Levi raised his head up and peered on the window, he saw a familiar carriage.

"Are we expecting visitors today?" Hange asked, raising her head up a little and also seeing the carriage that was now stationed on their lawn.

"I don't think so," Levi muttered under his breath as he scrambled out of the couch and trotted towards the door, clutching Ciel tightly against him. He slowly turned the knob, pulled, and was almost surprised to see the faces that tumbled on his front door. Shock registered on Levi's face.

Standing by the door was Commander Erwin, blond hair, cool blue eyes and stature intimidating as he leaned against the doorframe, a light smile plastered on his ever handsome face. Behind him, Nanaba and Mike were also present, holding hands as they grinned at the dark-haired man before them.

"You guys!" Hange yelped from behind Levi' shoulder, and getting up from the couch, her eyes caught sight of the Survey Corps veterans, who were strangely all dressed in everyday clothing. They don't even look like soldiers at all, without the Wings of Freedom emblem to signify their respective jobs. Hange beamed with delight when the three went inside. Erwin and Nanaba went straight to her side, fawning all over the now sleeping Theo on his arms.

Mike suddenly snorted. "Well, well, well, I never thought I'd see the day. Levi with a baby on his arms, looking like the great husband he is,"

"Shut up," Levi immediately countered, but there was this amused little smirk on his face, clearly surprised – and somewhat happy to see his comrades after like, three weeks of staying with Hange in their little house. He closed the door behind him and conspicuously eyed the bottles of alcohol Mike had on his hands. "What brought you assholes here?"

Mike frowned. "Erwin here misses his favourite couple, he also wanted to see the brats. Why, didn't you miss us, Levi?" He placed the alcohol bottles on the center table and scurried to where Levi was standing, and made an automatic cradle in his arms.

Levi ignored his remark and with one warning glare and eyebrows furrowed, Levi gently tucked Ciel into Mike's open arms. "Careful with the head," he noted, and Mike nodded as he swiftly and carefully took the baby, slightly rocking him back and forth.

"I gave the Corps a break, and since Mike insisted, we decided to pay you guys a visit," Erwin abruptly pinched in. The blond man was cradling Theo against him, the action looked so effortless with his strong build. He walked around the room, curious blue eyes scanning the area. "This is a nice place you have here, Levi, Hange,"

"It's all Levi's doing. You won't even see any of my touches," Hange smiled sweetly. She had remained quiet all this time and was a silent observer to the small commotion Levi, Erwin, and Mike were making. And as three men continued on their bickering, Hange craned her neck to her side and suddenly realized that Nanaba had already walked into the direction of the kitchen tugging some baskets in her hands.

She followed her to the kitchen and saw that indeed, the blond woman she had long deemed as one of her closest friends, was now busy spreading out some ingredients on the table to prepare the afternoon banquet in their house. As Hange watched her, she noticed that Nanaba was glowing, the woman's face looked so blissful.

"Hey," she started, pulling a chair from the table to sit. Hange heard the woman hum, not even looking up to meet her eyes as she continued to focus on preparing the food on the table. "You guys really did surprise us. Thank you for coming to our house, Levi and I really appreciate the visit."

After a full minute, Nanaba finally looked up and eyed her, light blue eyes shining as she smiled ever so sweetly. Gone was the usual boyish and rogue nature on her demeanour, her blonde hair which was usually cropped short was now starting to grow, leaving little hairs running on her nape. "We didn't bother you, did we? Mike and Erwin really wanted to see Ciel and Theo, they wouldn't ever admit it, but they've been talking about them nonstop. I guess, they were pretty much ecstatic about the two Survey Corps babies from the two of you,"

"Oh, Mike and Erwin don't have to worry though, we'll be home in about a week. The twins are already a month old, they're both healthy, yes, and Levi's paternity leave will soon be over," Hange declared, mentally calculating; counting days in her head. "So, how are things at the Headquarters? How is my squad? I'm sure Moblit and the rest are already missing their crazy Squad Leader,"

"They're alright, the usual things – trainings and the occasional drama of the 104th. Your squad is doing great, Mike had been supervising them. Nothing really important, as they just stayed in your lab and did their thing. Next mission's in a month," Nanaba sighed. The woman started gathering the vegetables and proceeded on chopping. "How about you guys here? Anything new with you and your ever infuriated husband? Has he told you he loved you yet?"

There was that one moment of solidarity as time seemingly melted and completely ceased on its ticking. Hange gasped, eyes wide as she sunk her teeth into Nanaba's last question.

That was it.

Words unspoken.

Words she'd been waiting to hear from him.

'Has he told you he loved you yet?' Nanaba's voice echoed in her ears, and Hange shook her head to snap out of it. "No," she quickly said, sudden pain stabbing her insides at the admission. "No, he hasn't. And I don't think he ever will."

"That pathetic man!" Nanaba yelped, halting on what she's doing and putting the knife down on the table. "Ugh, I really don't know what's wrong with him,"

Hange smiled bitterly. "I love him, Nanaba," she admitted again. There was that familiar pain in her chest as she uttered the words she'd been holding in for too long. It felt good to let it out, and maybe it will feel even better if she managed to say those things to Levi himself, but she just can't.

"Wow, I can't believe it," Nanaba rolled her eyes.

Hange bit her bottom lip hard, it will most likely bruise later but not that she cared. "Come on, are you seriously telling me you didn't know?"

Nanaba stood up, stature all womanly as she placed her hands on the either sides of her waist and eyed her sternly. "Oh, I know! I just didn't think you'll admit it." She sighed for the nth time over the course of that conversation. "So… What now?"

"I don't know," Hange brought her palms to her face. "He kept telling me he didn't want to lose me, that he wanted me and our family, he had indirectly told me all the things he liked about me. But I want the words to confirm it, that he loved me too. I know it's pathetic but I don't want to be confused anymore. I want the truth from him,"

The blond woman moved to Hange's side, then reached out to squeeze her shoulder lightly. "We both know Levi is a man of very few words; that he rarely speaks up about his feelings. He finds it hard to express himself but from what I have observed, Hange, you are the only person in this world who could ever get what Levi really means. You two are meant for each other. Everyone knows, everyone sees, how much this once cold and stoic man really loves you."

Hange was left alone contemplating her own feelings, weighing what Nanaba said to her earlier. Does Levi really love her? Or was she just disillusioned, blinded by all the things Levi says, things he did? She loves him, she really does. But what if he doesn't? What if he was just saying those things to her because of their children? What if he was trying to make this work because he still wanted to atone for the thing that happened to them that night? What if he was really inlove with another woman?

The what if's taunted her mind, and she could feel the lump forming in her throat as she summed up the courage to face him, but she was miserably failing at this attempt.

As she silently walked her way to the bedroom she shared with Levi, Hange tried to keep her foolish thoughts at bay but found her efforts futile. She reached the room, heart thundering in her chest as she slowly turned the knob and pushed the door, the wood causing a small creak. With the room in staleness, she still made out the figure of Levi sitting on the bed. He was clutching something to his chest, and when Hange walked inside, she saw that the man's eyes widened in shock and he immediately dropped the thing he was clutching.

The thing fell on the floor, but not before Hange caught sight of what it was, and the name embossed on its back.

Petra Ral's Wings of Freedom emblem.

At that exact moment, Hange felt a pang suddenly hit her heart, like it was stabbed by the sharpest knife ever made, like it was pulled out from her chest and was squeezed by the coldest hand ever. The million livewires that kept her stance intact suddenly blacked out, making them just mere wires that circulated inside her stone heart.

It hadn't even crossed her mind, but yes… It was possible. How couldn't she have thought about that?

Levi remained impressively neutral, unflinching on his position as he continued to sit there on the bed, slightly unfazed. "Hange," he whispered.

Hange, on the other hand, tried to compose herself, biting her lip as hard as she could and alternately gritting her teeth in the process. She walked towards the bed and sat opposite Levi, composure unwavering but tears were still threatening to fall from her eyes. "That was…. That was Petra's emblem, right?"

"Yes," His voice was plain of emotion when he spoke.

She sighed, letting out a humourless chuckle. "You loved her, didn't you, Levi? When she was alive, I saw the way you looked at her. I know, because I looked at you that way, too. How you tried to protect her in every excursion, your actions were pretty subtle but they were there, nonetheless. And when your squad died... You were really devastated... Petra's body never even reached the walls. When one of the soldiers flung her body into the ground for us to escape the two Titans running after us, I saw the grief in your eyes."

"That's not it," he bluntly said, still not moving an inch.

"You loved her, Levi. And I can tell you still do. If you have no feelings whatsoever for her, you wouldn't keep it. And why only her?"

"No."

"Why are you denying it?" Hange looked over her shoulder and saw that Levi's fists were clenched into balls. She knew she was being a masochistic bastard, but she needed to release herself. She was hurting, but she needed to hear him admit it, why is he complicating things even further?

"I'm not denying anything. And when you saw me clutching her emblem, I'm doing it for the last fucking time because I'll be burying it out. For a long time, it meant something… But I realized… I was wrong. I was blinded. I was a fool for clinging into false beliefs, but when I married you and saw what you really were… I saw things clearly for the first time… I realized something… I just… I just knew it." He gritted his teeth.

Hange chose not to reply, not really knowing what to say.

It took him a few minutes before he continued. Time stopped, and for a moment there, Hange feared she might die waiting for Levi's words. The man soon opened his mouth, his voice coming out harsh. "Do you really want to know the truth, Hange?" he sighed. "Truth is, you're a complete fucking idiot. Because I never loved Petra. It was you. It has always been you. It will always be you."

Her forehead crossed at his words, her fists clenching. "W-what the hell are you saying? S-stop kidding me, Levi. Why are you saying these things?"

"Goddamn it, Hange! Because I love you! That's why!"

Silence.

"Y-You love me?" She managed to croak out. She was in shock, still can't believe her ears and finding it hard to let those words sink in. Was it true?

Levi moved fast, he tugged her long ponytail and forced her to look at him in the face. He held her wrists before her and brought his face closer to hers, their noses touching. He looked her straight in her eyes, those heated, hazel brown eyes that made him crumble each time. "Hell fucking yes," he muttered. "I love you, Hange,"

"You really do?" Her voice was shaking.

"I do. I fucking love you,"

Hange smiled, her chest heaving at his words. She'd waited so long to hear this. "Say it again,"

"I love you, Hange," Levi released her wrists then positioned them above his shoulders, and he later felt Hange trickling little wisps of hair on his nape.

"One more time, please," she whispered.

"I love you,"

She gritted her teeth, and without hesitation, she trailed her fingers against his coal black hair and dragged him to her face for a searing kiss. An influx of passion, need and want exploded as their lips met, tongues dancing and swirling against each other. Hange pulled back some time later by tugging his head back, clutching his black hair in her hands. "I love you too," she said, heart thundering in her chest.

"Prove it, idiot." He sneered.

"Make me,"

And it was a request Levi would never, ever deny.

A/N: THIS IS LITERALLY FULL OF SHIT. PLEASE NO HATE.