This chapter was a nightmare to write. I don't know how many times I just said fuck it and walked away, only to come back. A lot of this chapter is thanks to the people who have become involved in the writing process, both for allowing me to bounce ideas off, but also as a sounding and checking board for me. Without them, this chapter would likely have taken even longer.
Adjustments 2.y Amy
"Is it still a cage if you cannot see the bars."
Even six hours later, the words spoken by Taylor Hebert would not leave the conflicted thoughts of Amy Dallon as she drove her car into the parking lot of Brockton Bay General. It would be more fair to say that she had been on autopilot since lunch, going through the daily motions as focused on trying to dispel that simple statement through any means necessary to prove the brunette cape wrong.
Settling into the parking space that had been specifically allotted for herself by the hospital, she had to finally admit as she turned off the engine that maybe there was some merit to what Hebert had said, as unwilling as she was to recognize it.
And she wasn't sure what was more frightening. The fact that she agreed with Hebert, or the fact that the brunette had been able to effortlessly diagnose her situation in only a short amount of time since meeting her.
It was a cage. A cage whose bars were molded through expectations and presumption.
Yes, when she had decided to limit how she expressed her powers it had been a cage partially of her own making. However, was it truly her choice when there existed so many horrific examples of biological manipulators that it made her feel unsafe revealing the full breadth of her powers without fear of consequences.
She knew exactly how her 'mother' would react to the knowledge of the true depth of her powers. She wasn't blind to the woman's apathy that bordered upon outright disdain. If it came out just what she could do, she knew without a doubt that Carol Dallon would be first in line demanding that she be imprisoned as a precaution. The less said about those in power, the better.
Granted, Vicky had once told her that a large part of why people and the government feared and hated biotinkers, was that, like masters, they tended to be villains and didn't really have sufficient heroic examples to point to.
Sighing, she placed her head against the cool faux leather of the steering wheel, letting it soothe her burgeoning headache.
She truly wanted to hate Taylor Hebert, but it wasn't fair to the other frizzy brunette to blame her for pointing out her own willfully self-inflicted ignorance. Because if she had chosen differently and maybe asserted herself, then maybe she wouldn't have to have it pointed out how miserable she was.
Because she was miserable, there was no way to parse it otherwise. Between her unrequited feelings for Vicky, the urge to do more than simply healing people, her home life, and the ungodly hours she put into the hospital to both escape said home and help people as she felt obligated to, she was on the edge of burnout and Taylor had just roughly torn away the curtain.
But what was she able to do? Simply saying no was no longer a valid option, there had been too much time invested by herself into healing people that it had become an expectation.
Even worse, a not-insignificant chunk of New Wave's non-donational income came through medical grants to work around the NEPEA-5 restrictions. Then, on top of that, there were the funds derived from her being on call for serious injuries suffered by the Protectorate, which, while not frequent, were still enough to have an impact.
If she were to put up the robe, even for a period of time, it would be detrimental to New Wave, not to mention the public outcry that would ensue.
She had to wonder if there was any way out of this that didn't end up with her being treated as the villain. Too many would foolishly accuse her of being selfish, insisting that it was her civic duty to use her gift in the service of the public.
"Goddamnit, Hebert," she muttered, levering herself off the steering wheel. There was no point in dwelling upon something she could not immediately help. She had rounds to do, and they were not going to get done with her staying in her car.
Taking a few moments to collect herself, she opened the door to her car and stepped out. Double-checking to ensure that she at least looked presentable, she made her way to the front of the hospital and walked through the sliding doors.
Almost immediately, she could feel there was a tension in the air, as she glanced at the front desk. Janice, the usual night admissions nurse, looked strained and only seemed to relax when she caught sight of her.
"Panacea," she acknowledged, "Doctor Blair wanted to see you before you went on your rounds. Could you wait a moment?"
"Sure?" Usually she was just allowed to get straight to work, only having to pay quick lip service as to her presence before going on her rounds. To be stopped and asked to await the night shift doctor was a rather significant departure.
A few minutes later, an older, harried-looking woman came stepping out of the elevator and immediately made a beeline towards her. Having worked with her quite often, Amy knew that something was bothering Doctor Samantha Blair even before she began talking.
"Doctor Blair?"
"Panacea," the older woman greeted, "Sorry for taking you away from your usual schedule, but something's come up and I would like your opinion on it."
This drew a frown from Amy, wondering what it was that the doctor would want from her. Blair had made it clear in the past and in private that she only tolerated her presence because of her powers. As far as the older woman was concerned, while Panacea had the ability to heal almost every malady, she was not a peer or a friend to the medical community and never would be. So for her to request her opinion on anything was a rather drastic departure from the norm.
"If it can help," she finally said, allowing the Doctor to lead her back into the elevator, allowing the doors to close before she asked, "is there something specific that I need to know?"
"A cape came in today, offering her services as a healer," Blair said, not looking towards her, "I'd like you to take a look at her work and tell me if it's the real thing and if there are any drawbacks."
Amy's frown only grew deeper in response. A cape offering services as a healer? There was only one cape that she knew of in Brockton Bay that had any sort of healing ability: Othala. But the Nazi wasn't known for her charity work, and it was highly unlikely that she'd had a change of heart. That left a new cape, one that had previously been unknown.
Sighing internally, she had to wonder just what it was that Doctor Blair was expecting her to do. Certainly, there was a chance she would be able to tell exactly what was taking place during the supposed 'healing' process, but if it was something like a tinker, then it would be more difficult to be able to succinctly ascertain what took place in it.
Honestly, it was probably going to be another disappointment, if not worse. Either way, just another thing to be burdened with.
"Could you at least tell me what the cape claims they can do?"
"She didn't exactly say," Blair offered, a hint of apology in her tone, "she wanted to wait until you arrived to corroborate her abilities. Other than that, I don't have a clue. She is a hero though."
The surety of the statement took her aback, because that only complicated things further. Because there was, as far as she knew, no hero in Brockton Bay or the surrounding areas that could be construed as a healer.
So it was with confusion and interest that she was led to a meeting room, and found herself stopping in the doorway: the room's occupant may have had her back to them, but there was no mistaking the blue hair and black attire.
Shocked by the revelation, she didn't even have time to prevent herself from blurting out the first thought that came at the revelation.
"Are you fucking kidding?!"
The withering look she received from Doctor Blair would have been enough to denude the Amazon, but she said nothing else as she refocused her gaze upon the other cape.
"Thank you for your patience, Tenshi. Now that Panacea is here, we can proceed with an evaluation of your claims."
"Of course, Doctor Blair," came the response from the bluenette, before her gaze slipped towards her, "that is, if Panacea is agreeable in assisting in this evaluation. I do not wish to take her away from her duties..."
Whatever protest that was resting on the tip of her tongue died, as she instead stared down the inscrutable look of the Tenshi, trying to figure out what exactly were the other woman's intentions. The fact of the matter was she could not understand why Tenshi would even bother being here, it was readily apparent she had other more flashy abilities. Why would she 'lower' herself to the 'mundane' job of healing that was certainly not going to gain her any real acclaim with the public?
And yet…she already knew her answer.
"Of course," she offered a smile, even if she didn't feel it, "I wouldn't mind an extra hand around here."
While Doctor Blair seemed to take her statement at face value, Tenshi's expression became inscrutable, her eyes boring into Amy as if it was peering into her soul, judging and finding her behavior wanting.
What right do you have to judge me, Amy wished to snarl at the other woman, but restrained herself. She didn't want to deal with the drama that would ensue if she actually voiced her real feelings on the matter, even as she inched closer to the line.
Instead, she turned and followed Doctor Blair as she led them through the hospital, the woman rattling off things to Tenshi about the hospital and giving a spiel that Amy had had a few times before.
Soon though, the subject changed and Amy forced herself to listen.
"-energy in order to stimulate rapid cellular regeneration."
"Are there any limits?'
There was a small pause from the bluenette, obviously considering what she would divulge, "Right now I am limited in both the amount of healing I can do, and the scale of damage I can repair. As I gather more experience in healing, I will be able to increase both my endurance and the range of conditions I can address."
"What do you mean," Amy couldn't help but blurt out. While most capes improved their combat effectiveness through practice and learning the limits and loopholes of their powers, and Tinkers got better the more they built up their workshop, those whose power actually changed the limits of their ability over time were… rare. The local protectorate cape Dauntless was the first example that came to mind. The Butcher and Crawler were others. If Tenshi could do that as well, then she wasn't just an unfairly strong grab-bag, she was a sleeping monster. Just like me, a traitorous voice whispered in the back of her head.
"My powers work by manipulating bio-electricity. I can apply that broadly to enhance the function of cells, drain them of vitality, cut, cauterize, suture, alter permeability and perhaps a few other things if I improved my understanding of biology and my power's influence on it. Up till now, I have primarily been using this energy to grant myself a brute rating, but that does not need to be my limit. Thus, I am here. Currently? Outside of the scale of healing, I have a finite amount of energy that I can apply before I exhaust myself. The more complex the healing the faster I will be exhausted mentally while the greater the damage is, the faster I will exhaust my energy supply."
"And what can you do right now," Blair asked,
"At the moment, I'm limited largely to basic battlefield triage: targeted rapid regeneration, burning, cutting or suturing tissues without direct access. At the extreme, I can heal a few shattered bones, but that would wear me out quickly."
That seemed to satisfy Blair, but it only served to further add to her own disquiet.
The notion that Tenshi could improve her overall healing over time felt like a loaded gun aimed squarely at her, taking away what she did best, and while it didn't threaten to replace her anytime soon, the danger existed nonetheless.
Maybe if I—, she viciously cut that thought off. Instead, she kept her expression carefully guarded as Blair led them into an observation room, where an older man was sitting on an examination table. His arm was currently covered with a large bandage and he looked more bored than anything.
"Panacea, Tenshi, this is Mr. Worthington, he has agreed to serve as an exhibition for your healing."
What was left unsaid was that it was more than likely Mr. Worthington did not have insurance and the hospital was either giving him a hefty discount or making the treatment free in order to tempt him into being a guinea pig, Amy thought acerbically. It was how they were able to test her own abilities back when she had first triggered, enticing those less fortunate in order to line their pockets in the long run.
If any of that weighed on Tenshi's mind, it didn't appear to be so as she strode towards Worthington who looked at her suspiciously.
"Mister Worthington, do you mind if I run a diagnostic?"
"Whatever," the older man said, offering a shrug with his left shoulder, "if it gets me out of here faster, go ahead."
Taking the permission, Amy watched as Tenshi's hands ran through a series of motions. Why she would do that she didn't know but, whatever it was for, her hands suddenly began to glow green. The bluenette then looked over to her.
"Panacea."
Startled out of her thoughts, she mechanically moved forward until she came to a stop beside Tenshi and fixed her gaze upon the patient.
"Do I have your permission to-," she then cut herself off, taking a breath, it had almost been automatic, "do I have your permission to observe Tenshi?"
"I just gave you permission," he returned irritably, causing Amy to internally grimace. It was about par for the course in her experience, but it still didn't stop it from irritating her. These people should be grateful that she made their recovery easier by cutting days, weeks, or even years off of the process.
Holding her tongue, she instead focused upon the job she was given, placing her hand on his and quickly noting the deep laceration into his upper arm that the dressing was hiding. She also detected a few other maladies, but they were not her problem as far as she was concerned: The man wasn't here for any of that and she wasn't feeling all that charitable. Meeting the gaze of Tenshi, she gave a nod, causing the other cape to place her glowing hands above the dressing.
Almost immediately, she could see a wave of energy flowing up and down the arm, before returning back to Tenshi's hand. While she could not see exactly what was being transmitted, she had a fair idea that whatever the energy waves were doing, they were probably doing exactly what Tenshi was claiming and diagnosing the damage.
After a few more waves, Tenshi's hand stopped glowing and she pulled it away.
"The damage is large but not severe," she declared, looking back to Doctor Blair, "I will need to remove the dressing to access the wound, if that is acceptable," the last part was said as she looked back to Worthington.
"Whatever."
Permission seemingly given, Tenshi peeled away the dressing, revealing the rather ugly gash that ran down Worthington's arm nearly to the elbow.
Then, furrowed her brow in concentration, her hands once again going through a series of motions together, before glowing green.
"Is there a reason you have to do those motions," Doctor Blair asked the question on Amy's lips, because it was readily apparent that whatever Tenshi was doing, it served a purpose.
"It's a mnemonic device that helps me channel my healing better," Tenshi replied, glancing back towards her, "Are you ready, Panacea?'
"Yes."
Staring for a split second longer into her eyes, the hero then placed her hands down upon the gash.
Almost immediately, her senses were once again filled with the sight of that same bioelectric energy flowing into Worthington's arm, only this time it didn't flow through the arm, but stayed localized upon the wound, impregnating it to the point that a light glow became visible within the wound itself.
Then, as if some signal had suddenly been given, the damaged flesh began to mend itself. She was provided a front row seat as the tissue underwent an extremely accelerated healing process via rapid cellular division. It was brutish, using the bioenergy as the fuel for the process, but even she couldn't begrudge its effectiveness.
Of course, she could also see an immediate drawback to the method as the rapid cellular division wrought an ugly cost upon the telomeres within the cells. By accelerating the process of healing, she was also accelerating the process in which the telomeres would also eventually fail, resulting in cellular death.
As far as she could see, the method that Tenshi was using would be great at quickly getting people back on their feet. However, in the long run it would have drastic consequences upon their body. Excessive healing using this method would likely result in metastatic and/or systemic cancer, multiple organ failure, bone marrow failure, necrosis, and arthritis, to name a few things off the top of her head. Not exactly a good end...
She sharply inhaled, eyes widening, unable to stop herself from breathing out "What the fuck."
"What is it," Blair demanded
Because before her very senses, she watched as the telomeres were slowly repairing themselves. It was proceeding slowly, but it was taking place nonetheless. In maybe a day or so the damage would be gone as if it had never been there to begin with.
Most would write it off as powers being bullshit, but to her it was yet another strike across the bow at how fleeting her position as the preeminent healer may just be. Because unlike others, Tenshi's power came close to recreating her own, and it seemed to be solely dependent upon experience and energy, both of which she expected would grow.
Grow into what, is what scared her.
A part of her wanted to lie, to say that what Tenshi was doing was harming the patient, but there was a smaller, quieter part of her — the part that she honestly wanted to pretend did not exist at all because it could give life to the concession that she was tired — that wished to acknowledge otherwise: To tell the truth, and maybe, just maybe, get the excuse that would allow her to rest.
She angrily stifled the thought, but not the sentiment, "Just surprised by the process," she forced out, having herself being beholden to the truth, "I'll provide more detail in my report."
That seemed to satisfy Blair, as Tenshi seemed to finish.
"I would recommend putting no stress on the arm for a few hours, Mister Worthington," she said, "While I don't expect any complications, there is a chance you will experience a small amount of discomfort in the wound site as it finalizes healing. Other than that, it should be good to use tomorrow or the day after."
And that seemed to be that; with a few parting words from Doctor Blair they walked out of the observation room, leaving the man to the nurses to finalize his discharge.
But that wasn't the end of it: Instead of leaving her to write a report, Blair had dragged the both of them to several other patients, putting Tenshi through her paces and looking for any deficiencies in her performance.
It was only after another two hours of this, with Amy grudgingly dragged around to double-check everything that Tenshi did, that Tenshi finally called for an end: citing that she would be unable to sustain healing any further.
At first, Amy thought Doctor Blair was going to push further. The older woman had done it quite a few times in the past to her, as a matter of fact. But it only took a few moments of being stared down by the bluenette before she seemed to think better of it. Instead, the woman offered a thank you and asked when she could do it again.
That was when Amy found herself shocked by the response that escaped her fellow healer's lips.
"When I have the time, Doctor Blair," she then nodded towards her. "Panacea. Good evening."
Amy froze in disbelief at the indifference with which Tenshi seemed to dismiss them as she turned and began to walk away. Healers were a rare commodity, especially ones with Tenshi's skills. And if her claims were true that she could improve the scope and breadth of those skills…
She stormed after her, unable to stop the anger and frustration that had been roiling over the last few hours from finally boiling over.
It wasn't until Tenshi had just stepped through the sliding doors that led to the street that she was able to finally catch up, and by then nothing could stop her from giving her a piece of her mind.
Growling, she grabbed at the bluenette's shoulder, "What is your fu-"
Her diatribe died before it could start as she instead found herself mesmerized by an impossible beauty. While the human nervous system was an open book to her, beautiful in its intricacy that only she could truly experience, it was tainted by everything else that made up the human body. It was like looking through a fogged glass.
But there was none of that interference with Tenshi. In fact, the only thing that she could 'see' was the very web of energy that she had accepted as distinctly Tenshi's, yet hauntingly familiar, pulsing and flowing throughout an organic, yet not alive, body.
It then struck her exactly why it was familiar, and it all fell into place. The last puzzle piece had been slotted in and the finished product was revealed. It explained why Tenshi had come to Brockton Bay General on this night. Why, when previously she had never shown an interest in what was obviously mundane to her, she would do so now.
Taylor Hebert was Tenshi.
Adding to the gut-punching realization of the woman's identity was the fact that Taylor hadn't even bothered to come to the hospital in person, that she had instead sent one of those clones that she had heard about.
She should be furious at that, that Taylor didn't take any of this seriously, but even that was taken away from her as she came to her final conclusion: Taylor didn't even need to be physically present in order to provide healing. Not if her clones could do the same.
And Taylor was capable of deploying at least a dozen of them.
It wasn't fair, Amy thought to herself, almost all emotions having drained away, leaving her only feeling empty as Taylor turned around and stared at her in her Tenshi guise. There was no judgment in the gaze. If anything, she could swear that Taylor understood far too perfectly everything she'd felt up until this moment.
"All you have to do is open the door, Amy," she said, before the color bled away to white and she disintegrated into individual sheets of paper that disappeared into the night sky, leaving Amy once again alone in her thoughts.