Chapter 14: Human
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"I've been holding onto hope,
That you'll come back when you can find some peace.
Cause every word that I've heard spoken,
Since you left feels like a hollow street."
Lewis Capaldi – Bruises.
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It had been a few days since Lex had found out about the Cullens.
She was thankful that the weekend had given her a brief relief from having to avoid them at school, finding herself awkwardly sitting next to Jasper on Monday during last period, hoping for the bell to ring to free her from the tension that came from his presence.
He had kept his distance from her, even in their classes together, giving her the space that she had asked for. Something she'd noticed was that she hadn't felt that wave of calm at all; not once. It made her feel like he was attempting to show her that he meant no harm, that he wasn't trying to lure her in like she'd initially thought. Lexi didn't quite know if that made her feel better or worse about the whole situation.
Bella still wouldn't give up on Edward, talking about how she knows there is something different about him but can't figure out what it was. It was torture for the redhead to not be able to tell her everything she knew. She had hardly spent any time with her since everything had happened, and she felt awful about it all.
"I don't see why he saved me." Bella mumbled to herself as she drove the pair to school. "He just seems so angry at me for still being alive."
Lex felt her stomach clench at the idea of keeping the truth from her again. "I'm sure he doesn't regret saving you, Bells." She sighed, looking out the window. "I just think moody, broody, loner guy is his thing."
"Moody, broody, loner guy?" She scoffed. "Really?"
"Tell me I'm wrong."
Shaking her head, she pulled into her usual parking spot. "I just think there's more to him, Lex. Something that he's keeping from everyone."
You have no idea, Bells.
"Well, I guess we'll never know." She lied, hopping out of the truck. "At least this school trip should give us both some much needed space from the Cullens."
"Okay, what happened with Jasper?" She asked, coming around to stand next to her. "It seemed like you guys were at least friends, what changed? What did he do?"
Lexi couldn't lift her eyes from the ground, unable to look at her best friend as she had to force out another lie. "He just wasn't what I expected, I guess."
"What does that even mean?" She questioned, her eyebrows furrowed as she stared.
Feeling eyes on her, Lex looked over to see Jasper, Alice and Edward all standing in wait for the order to get on the buses. Great. She was sure that they would find a way to talk their way out of school trips like they did with Gym, but apparently that was a pipe dream.
Luckily, it took Bella's attention away from the current conversation, her focus moving over to Edward Cullen as it usually did since moving to Forks.
"Make sure I get your permission slips." Mr Molina, one of the biology teachers called over.
Taking a hold of Bella's slip, Lex decided to use it as an excuse to regain her composure, walking over to give him theirs.
"Hey, Lex." Eric pulled her over to a side, pointing towards something with a smirk. "I think you should watch this."
Following his gaze, she watched as Mike approached Bella with a nervous look on his face; wiping his hands on his jeans as he squirmed a bit.
"Oh, don't do it, Michael." She pleaded, her hands moving to slightly cover her eyes. "Please don't do it."
Eric's laugh from beside her told her that there was no way Bella wasn't getting asked out right this second. This was horrifying; that poor little puppy of a boy was going to be rejected and she really didn't want him moping around on the trip for the rest of the day.
Taking pity on the poor blonde, Lexi made her way over to the pair as she heard the end of Bella's excuse.
"Non-refundable ticket." She shrugged, looking over at the redhead with an obvious sense of relief. "Lex, I was just telling Mike about my trip to Jacksonville coming up."
"Oh right," She covered for her, coming to a stop. "I remember you talking to your mum about it over the phone. It's the week of the dance, right?"
She quickly linked her arm with her best friend, giving Lex's hand a firm squeeze of thank you.
"That sucks." Mike sighed. "So, Lex… Do you think you'd want to..?"
Lexi could feel her face morph into disbelief. There was no way he was doing what she thought he was doing. "You're making me your backup plan? Is that really a wise move right now?"
His eyes widened as he realised his mistake, looking between the two girls before trying to look for an escape route, mouth opening and closing rapidly as he tried to think of a way to save himself.
"You should ask Jessica." Bella offered, glancing at the girl standing near the bus. "I know she wants to go with you."
Jessica gave a small smile and a wave as Bella finished her sentence, Mike seeming relieved to have an easy out.
As Mike walked away, Lex turned to Bella with a laugh. "Did he seriously just use me as a backup plan for you saying no? What the hell was that?"
Laughing as she pulled the redhead over to the buses, she giggled an "I have no idea." as they sat down together.
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When they all got to the greenhouse, Lexi wondered why the school thought it wise to bring a bunch of high school students here; she could already see a few of the guys glancing back at the worm box. Those poor worms, they had no idea what was coming.
As they walked around, she tried her best to stay close to Bella, keeping a close eye on the Cullens who were walking ahead of them.
As much as they made the witch feel uneasy recently, she couldn't help but feel this pull towards Jasper on a daily basis. Her eyes seemed to lock onto him instantly, no matter how many other people were in the room. She knew that he could manipulate emotions if he wished, but she doubted that he had the ability to invade her every thought.
But an obsession with a vampire was a dangerous thing; something she didn't think she was ready for.
"Don't drink it!" Mr Molina yelled, grabbing a mug of compost tea off Tyler, taking her gaze away from the unique trio.
Lexi wasn't surprised, she was friends with idiots. Glorious idiots.
Noticing Edward pausing to let people past him, she knew there was going to be an awkward conversation between him and Bella any second now.
"What's in Jacksonville?" He asked.
Choosing not to stick around for the full conversation, Lex instead walked over to a secluded part of the greenhouse. There were flowers of all colours and shapes lining a wall, a true thing of beauty. One thing that didn't surprise her about when her mother had told her she was a witch, was when she said they had a close link to nature.
She had always loved flowers, trees, animals… And now that she was aware of the ever so slight magic flowing through her, she could almost feel the very life of the flowers at her fingertips. Reaching over to stroke one of the petals, she felt peaceful. She needed to start helping her mother with the garden, suddenly understanding how she could fall in love with it so easily.
Feeling a small shiver run down her spine, she knew he was behind her before he made his presence known. It was often like that over the past week, Lex could always feel when he was near, but she somehow knew it was her own doing rather than his.
"How are you?" He asked in a whisper from beside her.
Glancing up to meet his gaze, she softly responded with "I'm okay."
"Ghost lilies?" He asked, noticing the flower that she favoured.
"It's always been my favourite." Feeling the different curves and points of the flower made her feel better. "With what it's called, it's like nature's way of trying to show that there can still be beauty in death, you know?"
As Alexis finished speaking, she felt as his hand grazed her lower back. "Very poetic." He smiled softly, staring at the flower from over her shoulder.
Moving just out of his reach, she noticed how his hand lingered for a few moments before falling back to his side.
"I said I was okay, Jasper… Not that I… That we…" The words couldn't quite come together for her to form a complete sentence. "That I've managed to wrap my head around everything yet."
His gaze lowered to the floor as he nodded in understanding. "My apologies."
"I believe you, when you say that your family aren't a real danger to the people here, I do." She assured him having to stop her own hand from reaching out to touch him. "I just need a little more time."
"However long it takes." He replied, his gaze intense.
The air left her lungs as he kept his eyes locked on hers. It was moments like this that hurt the most; moments where she was so sure that Jasper Hale indeed cared about her, but she was unable to believe it as the truth.
Jasper said nothing more as he glanced back at the ghost lilies before leaving her side to join Alice near the exit of the greenhouse.
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Grabbing the worm off the end of Eric's stick as he tried to chase people with it, Lex placed the animal back into the box it called its home. "Cruelty isn't funny, kids. You're all morons."
"C'mon Lex." Tyler groaned. "Lighten up a little."
Rolling her eyes, she glanced over to see Bella was still in an intense conversation with Edward Cullen. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't realise that Jessica had popped up beside her.
"Guess who asked me to the dance!" She grinned.
Startling a little, Lex hopped away from the peppy girl. "Jesus." She gasped, hand flying to her chest. "Hey, Jess… And the dance? Aren't you the one who's meant to ask someone with it being girl's choice?"
"Well, yeah, but he asked me to ask him. It still counts, Lex." She explained, hands gesturing wildly in excitement.
"Well, I'm happy for you. So, who is it that asked you?"
Jess seemed to realise that she had originally told the redhead to guess and shook her head with a laugh. "Mike did. I thought he'd ask Bella, but she said that we're perfect together, so."
Looking over to her best friend who was now walking onto the bus, Lex shook her head. "There's no way her and Mike would ever happen, Jess. Everyone knows you're right for him."
"I think so." The girl grinned. "We'll have to go shopping for dresses at some point, let's be real there is no way that Jasper won't be asking you-"
"No." Lexi cut her off, realising that she might have seemed just a bit too stern in doing so. "I don't think that'll happen, I'll probably go with Bella to visit her mother."
"Why would you go with her? Don't you want to stay and experience a dance in Forks?" Mike asked, confused, walking up to the two girls.
"She'll probably be planning to move back in with her mother by the time the dance comes around, I'll need to help her pack and move some of the stuff over."
"She's not staying in Forks?" Jess asked, looking only slightly sad about the news.
"It's not the plan." Giving a quick goodbye to go check on Bella, who was no doubt criticising her recent interaction with the Cullen boy, Lex made her exit from the conversation.
Walking between the school buses, she noticed as Alice gave her a small sad wave through the window. But she could only give an awkward smile in return as she searched for Bells in the other vehicle. There was a small part of her that felt guilty, knowing that Alice had asked her to go shopping in a few days, but she didn't know if she'd be prepared to do that by then.
Sitting down next to Bella, Lex noticed the calculating look in her eyes. "You okay, Bells?"
"He just doesn't make any sense." She sighed, sinking into the chair. "It's like every sentence he comes out with is a riddle that I have to figure out."
"Or it means he's just someone that you should stay away from."
Giving her a slight glare, the brunette shifted her gaze over to the Cullens. "I can't let it go, Lex. He's hiding something, and I need to know what it is."
"Curiosity killed the cat." Lexi's tone was somewhat remorseful as she realised how accurate that metaphor could become one day.
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Once they'd arrived home from the trip, Lexi made the excuse of being tired so that Bella wouldn't ask her to come round for tea.
The witch could tell that her best friend was starting to realise that she was keeping things from her. But she just couldn't do anything about it, what do you do when you find out about this huge part of yourself and you're not allowed to tell your own best friend? Just to find out another secret about the boy she was wildly interested in, and be unable to tell her about that either?
It was an impossible thing to deal with.
Moving her finger over the small plant in her room, she thought back to what she'd read in the book her mother had given her. There were different forms of magic; nature, healing, fighting, light, and dark. There was so much that she could learn, and with the presence of vampires so close by she figured that she just might have to learn every aspect of it.
Thinking back to the first part of the book, nature magic, she tried to concentrate on pushing the energy she felt from herself into the small and slightly wilted plant. It was one of the most basic spells and she'd yet been able to accomplish it. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly, trying to feel life flowing into the leaves.
Opening her eyes, she watched as the leaves turned a brighter green with a soft upturn of her lips.
"Lex?" She heard her mother greet her as she shuffled into the room. Lex could hear it in her tone that she wanted to apologise to her again for being incapable of telling Bella anything.
"Please don't apologise to me again, mum." The girl sighed, the little happiness she felt over the plant magic now dwindled. "There's nothing you can really do about it, right?"
She shook her head with a look of pity. "I know how hard it is, love. You know you have me to talk to whenever you need."
Picking at her nails, Lexi nodded in understanding. "I haven't really wanted to talk about this, but… Do you know about the Cullens?"
"You read the book." Maeve sighed, sitting down on the bed. "Are they aware that you know about them?"
"Yeah." She replied, almost in a whisper. "I freaked out, obviously... Can I ask you a question?"
Confusion crossing her features, she nodded her head. "Of course you can, Lex."
"When you first saw Jasper… You looked terrified." Her mind replaying that night, she still couldn't understand why her mother let it go. "But then, you relaxed. Why? Why were you so comfortable with a vampire being in our house? With me spending so much time with him?"
"I noticed his eyes." She responded, warmly, a small smile pulling at her lips. "His eyes told me everything I needed to know."
Disbelief filled the younger redhead. "So, what? The colour made you realise that he doesn't eat people just now and that was enough for you?"
Her smile grew ever so slightly as she made to leave the room. "That wasn't the only thing I saw in his eyes, love."
Eyes squinting in confusion, she watched as her mother left the room. "What does that even mean?"
Pepper gave her hand a swift lick, jumping onto her lap. Lex's hand softly stroked her fur as her mind drifted away.
As her thoughts faded away and she cleared her mind, her eyes found her own reflection in the window; but it wasn't something she wanted to see. As the witch focused on her reflection an image flashed into her mind of a large gash crossing her neck as red eyes hovered in the background.
Startling back to reality, she heard Pepper give a small yelp as the dog looked at her with a look of slight distrust.
Lex wished that it was something new that she was dealing with, but it had been happening every other day, with no sign of stopping. She felt betrayed by her own mind that having Jasper in her life, having him around her during the day, being on good terms with him, was the only time it had calmed down since arriving in Forks.
He was meant to be the reason for them, not the remedy.
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"Lex!" Adam called from downstairs. "There's something at the door for you!"
"Something?" She asked, making her way down, towards the door. "Not someone?"
Shrugging his shoulders. "Something. I don't know, I'm guessing the guy knew if he stuck around that I'd go all macho big brother on him." He said, doing stupid strong man poses.
"Ooo, scary." She mocked, rolling her eyes as she opened the front door wider.
As Lexi looked down, she froze.
A single white ghost lily.
It took her a while to move again once her mind figured out the only person who would have left this for her. She was thankful that her family were all busy elsewhere in the house to watch her reaction, because they would have no doubt had questions.
Leaning down, she picked it up as though it were made of glass. Her eyes caught a glimpse of a small note attached to the pot, she turned it over to see the writing.
A beauty in death, a purity in life.
Holding the small card to her chest, she felt tears start to build in her eyes.
Never in her life, when she had heard the scary stories about vampires and monsters, did she ever think for one second that they could act so…
Human.
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A/N: We're finally up to date with where I originally was when I wrote the fic! So hopefully I've given you enough chapters to deal with until I can write more. Maybe soon, but I've promised that before so we'll see.
Thanks again for reading, everyone,
~fawningfantasy x