Chapter 20
After Cody's talk to Alex about girls, he decided he also needed to talk to Jen about that night when they kissed. They both have been avoiding being alone, so they could avoid the conversation.
Cody was coming from the barn and found Jen sitting on the porch sipping her coffee alone. He went and sat by her.
"So, I had to have "The Talk" with Alex the other day about girls, dating and sex," Cody trailed off when he said sex.
"I bet that was a bit uncomfortable," Jen chuckled.
"It was," Cody's face started to blush.
"I need to do the same with Hailey soon," Jen responded.
"You do?" Cody was surprised. Alex is five years older than Hailey.
"Well maybe not quite the same conversation, but about her changing body, before it happens," Jen said blushing.
"Oh," Cody getting red in the face. Not being around women much he had not even thought about that. "Well, when you ready to talk to her. Let me know and Alex and I will disappear for a while, so you have some privacy."
"I will, thank you," Jen said. "I just had a thought. Maybe I should have Robin tell Hailey about the birds and the bees."
"Why is that?"
"She was the one who told me about it," Jen answered.
"Didn't your mom tell you?" Cody asked.
"She died before she told me and can you imagine that conversation with my grandfather?" Jen chuckled.
"I don't see that happening. Would you like to take a walk before it gets dark?" Cody asked.
"That would be nice," Jen answered.
Cody stood up and reached out his hand to Jen to help her up. The two walked side by side saying nothing. They get to a spot near the lake and sat on a log. Both still silent, Cody was getting more anxious, he looked over at Jen and there was uneasiness between the two of them.
Cody took a deep breath, "It's been a long time since I have…I have kissed a woman. I was not sure if it was because of all we shared or my memories of Lizzie. Lizzie was the only woman I ever truly loved, and she was taken away from me too soon. When she died, I never wanted to have those feelings again. If was not for Alex, I don't think I would have been able to go on. That night, you were asleep in my arms, and you looked so peaceful, I don't know what it was, but I just felt like I had to kiss you. It felt good when you kissed me back. I wanted more and for it to go farther. I could not help myself and I wanted you. I have not had those feelings in a long time."
Jen had just been staring at the lake the whole time not looking at Cody, he had been doing the same. He turned to her. "Jen, look at me," Jen turned her head towards Cody. "I don't know If I am ready for more. I planned on being alone for the rest of my life." Cody began to stumble over his words, "I…. I would like to..."
"Cody wait," Jen Interrupted. "I thought I had what you had with your wife Lizzie. It did not take long, and it became a nightmare. A nightmare I have lived with ever since. I don't know if I would be able to ever trust anyone in that way or be intimate with anyone again. The kiss was great and being with you felt so good, but I got scared. I don't know if I could love someone in that way again."
Cody was wanting to start a relationship with Jen but could see she was not ready for one and maybe never will be. He decided maybe he was taking everything way to fast and Jen would need to take things slow. It was not going to be easy, but that is what he may need to do if he ever hopes to have a relationship with her.
They both sat there quietly for a bit. They had a bit of history together, from a time before they both were hurt so much.
"Can we move pass that night and just be friends?" Cody finally asked.
"I would like that," Jen said with a smile.
"So, I have a favor to ask," Cody asked.
"What is it?" Jen questioned.
"Alex wants to ask a girl out. He has been talking to her on-line from a local high school, but he does not know how to act around women and his dad has been no help. Robin been teaching him how to dance. I think he needs more lessons. I would like to escort Hailey to dinner to show Alex how to treat a woman and he could escort you and you could help him," Cody asked not sure how their last conversation ended, this would be the best time to approach this subject.
"That would be nice Cody, it would be good for Hailey too and I think she adores you."
"That is good, since I am legally her father," Cody said with a smile and they both chuckled.