Happy new year. We go more happy from here on out.

There was a time and place where Alan had been angry with life.

No matter how hard he tried, he never seemed to be enough. He always fell short of accomplishing what he desired the most. If he was practicing the sword, his timing would be slightly off. If it was academics, Alan would end up forgetting a small piece of trivia that would tie up everything else together. If it was magic, his mana would not be enough to fully express the spells he wanted to do.

Again and again, he managed to only just barely miss the success he wanted. The praise he got was hollow, meaningless. Because even though he learned from his mistakes, he never really accomplished as much as he wanted to.

There was a time and place where Nicol Ascart almost killed himself playing with his magic too.

"Nicol-sama!" The maids would scream, startling the adults that were in the middle of their customary tea party. Trying to bring together the crown and the ministry with bonds beyond mere letters and events. Alan had asked to go, because the child living there had something no one else had: He absolutely loathed Alan's brother.

Yes. Alan wouldn't have admitted it at first, but he only grew close to Nicol Ascart because of the breath of fresh air he provided. The way he repelled Gerald was something Alan desperately wanted. A space Alan could claim where nothing Gerald did would be considered more than Alan's own efforts.

It didn't make Nicol Ascart any easier to get along with. But Alan could always take the hint with him, tip toe in a safe line where he wouldn't set off the raven haired child and Alan could almost feel the appreciation without judgment he wanted.

Perhaps, in looking for this, he slowly came to understand and appreciate Sophia in turn. But that was beside the point.

At that time, Nicol had been found lying face down on the fountain to the east side of the manor. The servants had no idea how or why he had smashed so hard against the water. Or why the child failed to reply when the physicians informed them that he had taken no damage to his body after taking the water out of his lungs.

Gerald back then hadn't cared enough to go check on the little heir, so Alan felt it was his duty to do so. As Gerald's opposite, he'd gladly do whatever the blond prince deemed unimportant.

Nicol had woken up, dizzy and confused. But Alan remembered him looking at his own hands, dark eyes scanning them, and grinning. It was the first time Alan saw that child show any kind of positive emotion outside of his little sister. And at that moment, the boy looked so alive and dazzling Alan almost forgot how bad his personality was.

"Almost." Nicol said, and Alan hadn't understood at that moment.

"What did you do?" The prince asked, feeling bitter at the single word charged with so much failure for him.

Nicol had only realized then that Alan was there, and his mood worsened quickly enough that he almost looked like a different person.

"Doesn't matter."

"You almost died." Alan pointed out, bothered.

"What do you care?"

"It seemed important." Alan replied, now pissed off.

"I… Yeah, it is." Nicol took off the blankets and got to his feet, clenching his hands into fists and opening them again over and over.

"Were you doing magic? Don't you have tutors?" He'd have to have access to the best of them, as the son of the Prime Minister, so Alan couldn't really understand what had happened.

"I do."

"Then why are you doing this by yourself?"

Nicol took a long glance at Alan, almost as if he didn't understand the question "Why do you play the piano?"

Alan flinched "Because it's relaxing…?"

"Because you like it." Nicol stated. It felt as if he was trying to correct Alan's own feelings, but somewhere along the lines the prince understood they were referring to roughly the same thing.

Still…

"No, because it's relaxing." The small prince crossed his arms, angry.

"It's the same thing." Nicol rolled his eyes, as if he was dealing with a little kid. Which he too was.

"It's not."

"It is." Nicol insisted.

"Nu-huh."

"Yes!"

"You just want to be right." Alan pointed at him.

"I am right!"

"No!"

"Yes!" Nicol turned around, taking and throwing one of his pillows at Alan "It's the same! Let me finish!"

Alan scoffed, seeing the guy being so childish. He felt better, knowing he was much more mature.

"Fine. You're wrong but continue."

"Darn it. I'm shutting up then."

"Don't be a baby, Nicol-sama. Aren't you older than me?"

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up…!" Nicol made a movement with his hand, and Alan felt the wind stir.

The pillow that had been thrown jumped off the floor, a slight arc that almost went in Nicol's direction.

It fell again beside Alan's feet, but he realized Nicol had almost brought it to his hand with magic.

Nicol was tomato red after failing, but he took the pillow off the floor all the same. Angrily murmuring as Alan stood there, trying to understand how much control that required without proper build up.

"Leave." Nicol looked angry, but very much embarrassed.

"That was scary." Alan admitted.

"Leave." Nicol repeated.

"You're very good at magic." Alan realized.

"I've been practicing a lot." Nicol looked away, now uncomfortable. Alan repeated how they found him outside.

"Why?" Then something clicked "You were trying to fly?"

Nicol looked to the floor "Yeah."

"Are you stupid?" The prince couldn't help asking.

"Shut up. I do what I want."

Alan couldn't comprehend what was happening. He would've been perhaps 10 when he understood that Nicol hadn't just been playing around with his newfound powers.

"But why?"

Nicol had looked into his eyes, still embarrassed but fully believing his own words "It'd be very cool if it was possible."

It'd take some time, but Alan would later follow the example. Sitting in front of his piano and pouring his heart into the craft: He loved it. Just as much as Nicol loved his magic.

"Nicol." Alan's call fell on deaf ears. The raven haired noble kept looking down, lying on the floor in a fetal position with eyes deader than usual. The prince tried to push him a bit with his boot, but there was almost no reaction from him. Alan crouched, and moved his friend a bit, trying to shake him to get some reaction out of him "Hey, you're scaring me man."

Nicol's gaze was unfocused, squarely on nothing at all. His breathing was slow and irregular, as if he had lost all his strength and was only barely surviving.

Alan sighed, standing up only to walk around and sit besides Nicol's rear. Placing a hand on his friend's knees.

"I hate to see you like this." Alan stated, speaking calmly as he tried to chew on the words before he spoke them "It reminds me of some dark places I've been."

Nicol didn't answer, but Alan didn't need him to. Not now. Though his gut told him the wind mage was listening, and that gut had never failed him before.

"Remember when Katarina brought us all to her birthday party? The day Gerald tried to impress her by mowing her 'garden' and she turned it into a competition? He lost. His hands weren't used to the strain, even though he had the perfect posture and movements. Miss Dumbass was simply too used to doing it that there was no way Gerald would win." Alan chuckled, scratching the back of his head "You warned him. But we both knew that'd set him off even more."

Alan pated Nicol's knees.

"Mary chewed me on this. She thought it was childish, that Gerald would've been seriously offended. But it was so fun. Not only because he lost, but because it was so intense he might've really won in the end." Alan sighed "I miss those times, man. When we didn't have to worry about things like evil wizards of political conspiracies spanning the whole country. Our brothers always told us to cherish those moments, because they'd eventually fade when we were given our royal duties."

Alan stared at the wooden door, where the girls were waiting. And probably eavesdropping.

"We still can go back to that. Probably, hopefully. But we need you here with us, man. Even if we succeed, we won't be able to move on if you're not here with us." Alan gulped, feeling distinctly uncomfortable now that he thought about the possibility of just… Losing "Katarina, Mary, Maria-san. I'm sure even Gerald wouldn't be able to move on if you just… Lost hope. I don't know what you saw, or what happened for you to simply shut down. But please remember we've been there already, and we got better. Together. With everyone. So don't close your heart and drown in your own sadness, give us a chance to shine a light for you."

He looked at Nicol, still unmoving. But now with his eyes closed. Alan slapped his knees.

"Let us help you in the way you've helped… I'm sure we all share the sentiment." Alan stood up, lazily stretching before moving "I'll go out. If you're hungry let me know. We might not have a lot of time, but we should be able to make a bit of room for you. Just…"

Nicol didn't reply.

"Right. I'll talk to the girls then." Alan sighed, getting to open the door while thinking really hard about anything else he could say.

"Your emotional speeches suck." Nicol stated, turning around to face the wall "I want coffee with scrambled eggs."

Alan smirked "You got it, chief."

The girls were indeed trying to hear, pressing their head against the door.

"Woah there!" Alan pushed his body forward, getting his hands up to stop their movement forward and give them something to lean on as they got their balance back "What were you doing? Can two guys just have a heart-to-heart conversation without gossiping?"

"Alan-sama, how is he?" Maria-san was the first to ask, as Mary fixed her dress and Katarina looked at him with a hollow stare that resembled Nicol's a little too much for comfort.

"He'll be fine." He informed them, puffing his chest a bit "But he needs a bit of time to compose himself. I'll get him breakfast in the meantime."

"Food is good to lift the mood." Katarina nodded, as if Alan had said something ridiculously intelligent. She resembled herself a bit more there.

"Right." Alan bit back a retort "It'd be great if one of you could keep him company? Just…"

"Try to cheer him up?" Mary suggested.

"Sure. Just don't push too hard." Alan shrugged "He's very delicate, okay?"

"Could've fooled me." Mary demurely hid a smirk.

"He'll turtle up if you push too hard." Alan informed the rest.

"Yes." Maria-san nodded "Maybe we should take turns speaking to him?"

Alan considered it for a moment "That could work."

"Leave it to us." Maria-san balled her hands, lifting her arms in a determined motion.

"Leave it to her." Katarina smirked weakly.

"K-Katarina-sama?" Maria-san seemed flustered, but Alan disengaged before he could get dragged in their shenanigans.

"I'll be going then, please stay put." Alan pointed at Katarina "I'm talking to you."

"I—." She tried to retort. Maybe raise her voice in outrage as she usually did, but something got in the way and she deflated a bit "I'll be good."

Alan felt a bit bad. He usually didn't go wrong with either of them "That's what I wanted to hear. I'll bring something extra special for you then."

Katarina perked up "Like what?"

"It'll be a surprise."

Katarina looked breathless for a moment before murmuring "I like surprises."

Alan got out, looking at the town like a robber would on a crowded street. People came and went, but no one looked especially dangerous or suspicious. He steeled his nerves.

"Gerald, if you have a plan. This would be a pretty good moment to put it in motion." He hated to admit it, but the thought calmed him a little. Gerald Stuart rarely ever failed at anything, after all.