Chapter 35
Josh did not feel the need to post his open ranger position. Cody was the perfect fit for the position, Cody could also fly the chopper that would help alleviate Jessica's hours as well. Cody and Josh work very well together. Josh named Cody as second in command under him. The administrative position was going to take a bit longer. Jen and Cody decided that they would get married before Cody started full time with the rangers. He wanted to take a week off to spend with just him and Jen to have a honeymoon. Josh was happy to stay in the second in command's cottage since he was well settled in it. That left the Commander's cottage open for Cody and Jen.
Jen and Cody planned a quick simple wedding in the meadow just outside the ranger station. Josh got a license to perform weddings over the internet. Maddox came down from the mountains to give Jen away. Alex was the best man and Hailey was the maid of honor. It was a small wedding, in attendance the Rangers, Hawkes family, Avila family, and Maddox.
A recording of Cannon and D was played while Hailey walked down the aisle first, followed by Maddox escorting Jen down the aisle. Jen was dressed in a simple white sun dress. She was beaming as she was so happy. She was carrying a bouquet mixture of wild flowers. When they got to the end of the aisle Jen gave Hailey the flowers. Maddox gave Jen a hug and a kiss on her cheek. Maddox than gave her hand to Cody. Jen and Cody held hands and faced each other.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered together to witness the marriage of Jennifer and Cody into holy matrimony." Josh announced. "Jen and Cody will be giving their own vows."
"Jen, when we first met, we were kids, you were twelve and I was sixteen. You almost became my sister. After my family moved to San Francisco, it had been several years since I had seen you. You had grown up into a beautiful young lady, I did not recognize you at first. We had our first dance at Matt and Robins wedding. You were 16 and I was 20. If was not for our age difference than, I would have kissed you right then. We learned much later that your grandfather saw something between us that night he did not like and put me on his list. We did not see each other for many years. We did not start on the right foot, but when we both tore down the walls, we both built around our hearts, I found myself totally completely falling in love with you. You filled a hole I had in my heart. You have made me a better person, a better father. I can't imagine my live without you and Hailey. We had an unorthodox courtship, but it works. Jen I am so happy you took a chance on me when I asked you to marry me. Jen, I love you and can't wait to be your husband."
"Cody, you have saved me in more ways than you will ever know. You took me and my daughter in when I was at my lowest points. Not once, but twice. You have made me feel safe when I am with you. You and Alex welcomed us into your home and into your family. Cody, you taught me how to love again. Something I did not think I would ever do again. I love you so much and I don't want to live my life without you. I can't wait for the four of us to really and truly be a family. Cody I can't wait to be your wife."
"Jen, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, devotion and faithfulness to you, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." Cody places the ring on Jen's finger.
"Cody, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, devotion and faithfulness to you, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." Jen places the ring on Cody's finger.
"By the power invested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Cody you may kiss your bride."
"My pleasure," Cody took Jen in his arm and dipped her as he gave her a passionate kiss.
Josh announced, "It is my pleasure to be the first person to introduce for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Cody Hawkes."
Everyone just cheered for them.
They had a small dance at the wedding. Jen and Cody danced their first dance together as husband. Playing their song.
It was time for father/daughter and Mother/son dance. Cody danced with Hailey and Jen danced with Alex.
"Cody, are you now my dad?" Hailey asked Cody.
"Yes, I am," Cody answered.
"I love you daddy," Hailey said with a big smile on her face.
"I love you too my daughter."
"Is Christy having a good time?" Jen asked.
"She is having a very nice time and was happy to be invited," Alex responded. "Jen, what do I call you now?"
"I will leave it up to you. You can keep calling me Jen if you want, it is okay. Just don't call me Evil Step Mom." Jen smiled at Alex and they both chuckled a little. "Seriously, I am okay with anything you are comfortable with."
"Thanks, Jen or should I say mom," Alex said. Jen gave Alex a big hug.
Everyone was having a wonderful time at the reception.
Someone started clinking the glasses Cody just looked at them he went over to Jen gave her a big kiss.
"I want to thank you all for coming here and celebrating this special day for Jen and me. But there is one more thing we are celebrating today. Hailey and Alex, do you want to come over here," Hailey and Alex came over to Cody and Jen. "We are also celebrating there is one more new Hawkes family member. I would like to introduce you to my daughter, Hailey Elizabeth Hawkes."
Hailey was shocked, her eyes went big and mouth was wide open. Alex pulled out the frame piece of paper with Hailey's name change. Alex handed it over to Hailey. Hailey was jumping up and down and hugged Alex and Cody. Jen looked on smiling. Since Cody was listed as Hailey's father on the birth certificate, he was able to get her name changed. Jen had used an alias on the birth certificate so legally she was not able to make the request. They still need to legally get Hailey's birth certificate updated, but this was a good first step.
When it was time for Jen and Cody to leave, they said their goodbyes to everyone and headed up to the cabin. They were going to spend a week alone, just the two of them at the cabin. Alex and Hailey would stay with Matt and Robin before they all moved into the Commanders cottage.
"Jen, I love you very much," Cody answer as he was driving the truck up the old fire road to his cabin.
"Cody, I love you too," Jen said. She spent a good portion of the drive up to the cabin looking out the window and being pretty quiet.
"Jen, what is wrong? You seem a bit distant," Cody said with a bit of concern.
"I guess I am a bit nervous about what comes next," Jen just looked at Cody.
"Jen, please don't worry about it. We can just lay next to each other. Everything else will just happen when you are ready. Don't even think about it tonight. I want this day to stay special for you."
"Cody, you are the sweetest most caring man I know. I love you more than anything."
Cody and Jen make their way to the Cabin. They get to the Cabin door. Cody opens the door and sweeps Jen off her feet. He carries her over the threshold. Once inside he sets her down and they began to kiss.
"I hate to leave you so fast, but I need to check on the horses," Cody said as he kissed Jen some more. "Hey, why don't you come give me a hand."
"Okay,"
Jen and Cody changed into some other clothes and headed out to the barn. When Jen walked into the barn, she noticed there was an extra horse.
"Where did he come from?" Jen asked.
"This is Pepper, your new horse," Cody gave Jen a wedding gift.
"Mine really. Cody, he is beautiful."
"We need to work with the horse, so you can build a relationship with him," Cody said.
"How do we do it?"
The horse was a good distraction for Jen. She was quite nervous about the possible intimate time between her and Cody. She did not want to disappoint him. This gave her something to focus her mind on.
"Maybe in couple of days we can take a trip into the mountains and camp under the stars."
"That sounds great Cody."
"I was thinking when we get settled, maybe we should get Hailey a horse."
"Cody that is a great idea, she would love it. "
After a couple of days Jen prayed, she will be able to be intimate with her husband.
Jen and the horse bonded quickly and her and Cody planned to take an over night horse riding trip. They packed up sleeping bags and some food for the night. They went to some of Cody's favorite places. He was trying to get Jen more comfortable with him. They had a wonderful time sitting and talking around the fire. Jen did not have to worry about being intimate. She could just relax.
When they return, Jen prayed some more that she had the strength to be with Cody that night.
When they returned from there trip. Jen came in early to get cleaned up, when she got dressed, she put on her normal clothes and then got something ready for dinner.
Then Cody came inside, he did not see Jen and the bathroom was free, so he went and took a shower. Once he was in the shower, Jen slipped on a white silky night gown and then put on a robe over top. He came out with just a towel wrapped around his waist.
Jen saw Cody, "Wow!"
"Jen, you look beautiful." Cody said. "Sorry I had not had a chance to grab some clothes."
Jen was breathing harder. "Cody, you look so handsome just the way you are."
"You like what you see?"
"Yes." Jen took off her robe. The silk nightgown did not leave much to the imagination.
She walked over to Cody and they began to kiss more. "Can I see all of you?" Jen shook her head yes. Cody's hands went to Jen's shoulders, and he lowered the straps. The night gown began to fall to the ground. As the night gown fell, it revealed her naked body. Cody continued to kiss Jen down her neck. Jen reached for the towel wrapped around Cody's waist. She removed the towel and now the two were standing in front of each other naked.
"Jen you are so beautiful."
"So are you." As they both looked at each other. In way they have not seen each other before.
"Can I love you tonight?" Cody was hopeful. Jen was nervous and scared. Cody could see her nervousness. "We can take it slow and just explore each others body."
Jen shook her head. They move to the bed room where Jen laid down on her back. Cody laid next to her. "Is it okay if I touch you?" The counselor had advised when they were ready, Cody should ask permission before moving forward. Jen nodded yes. Cody and Jen enjoyed each other's bodies, and they explored every inch of each other. They pleasured each other so much that Jen could not think of anything but Cody. They were able to make love by the end before they fell asleep in each other's arms.
In the morning they woke up in each others' arms. It was the first time in 10 years Cody made love to a woman. It was almost like the first time for him. He forgot how good it felt to be with someone you loved. He was so happy he could have her and was looking forward to more days of being with her. For Jen it was a different story. Making love to Cody was a trigger for some of her nightmares from the past. She did not want Cody to know. It had felt good to be with him that first time, he helped her to forget the memories for the moment, but once they were done, it all resurfaced again.
When Cody woke the next morning. Jen just smiled at him. Brought her closer to him and began kissing her again. He took her in his arms. He rolled her onto her back, and he made love to her again. Jen is almost in a panic and just shut her eyes as they did it. Cody loved making love to her. After Cody fell asleep, Jen got out of bed and quietly walked to the kitchen where she cried. Did she make a mistake, did they move to fast. She truly loved him and outside of making love to him, she had no regrets.
Cody was enjoying making love to Jen so much he had not noticed how painful it was for her. Jen was in the kitchen cleaning up and Cody came up from behind her and wrapped his arms around Jen and began to kiss her.
"I love we can make love at anytime we don't have to worry about anyone walking in on us." Cody started to kiss Jen and led her to the bed room. He was quickly getting aggressive with Jen and taking her clothes off. He wanted her. Jen did not want to disappoint him, and she really hoped it would get easier the more they did it. Cody laid Jen on her back, and he started to thrust inside her.
"Stop, Cody stop, please stop," Jen cried as she fought to push Cody off her.
"Jen what is wrong?" Jen moved quickly to the top of the bed and tried to cover herself up as much as possible. She was crying. Cody tried to reach out to her, and she quivered in the corner of the bed. "Jen, please talk to me."
"I am sorry, I tried. I can't keep doing this. I am sorry."
"Jen, I am so sorry, Did I hurt you? Please talk to me. I love you."
"Cody please leave me alone." Cody tries to reach out to Jen, "GET OUT!"
Cody left the room not knowing what happened and what was wrong with Jen. He went out on the porch to just think. Did he screw up? He wanted her and he had her. Was he as bad as Roy? Cody could not just sit he had to move, so he went for a run.
Few hours later Jen woke up. It was dark out. Cody was not in bed with her. She started to look for him in the cabin. The cabin was silent. She went up stairs, no one was there. She looked outside he was not there. "Cody! Cody!" Jen shouted. She ran inside and got the portable radio, flash light and one of the guns. She ran to the barn to see if he was there or if he took his horse out. Both horses were there. Jen shouted for Cody, but there was no answer back. She could tell that he had not fed the horses either. She quickly fed them and gave them water before she continued the search. She went down to the lake where they like to sit sometimes. She continued to shout for him. The night was still and quiet. No sign of him anywhere. She ran to the car parked and both vehicles were still there. She walked back to the cabin. Still no sign of him.
Jen was scared. Scared that Cody may have gotten hurt somewhere, scared that he may have left her. She decided to call the rangers head quarters to see if anyone had seen him.
"Ranger base this is Jen."
"This is wingman, please come back Jen. Everything okay."
"Josh, have you seen or heard from Cody?"
"I have not. Is something wrong?"
"We had a fight. I fell asleep and when I woke up, he was gone. I searched the cabin, went down by the lake, checked the barn and the car park. There is no sign of him anywhere. The horses were all there, but not fed and both vehicles are still there, but no sign of him anywhere. He is just gone."
"How long has he been gone?"
"Maybe 4 or 5 hours."
"Jen he probably packed in for the night somewhere. Don't panic. Just stay in the cabin it is too dangerous to go looking for him at night. Let us know when he returns and if he is not back in the morning give us a call and we will go out looking for him."
"Okay Josh"
Next morning Jen woke up on the couch. She checked the bed room and no sign of Cody. She got dressed and went outside. She checked the barn and down by the lake.
"Cody where are you?" Jen said. She walked back to the cabin, to grab some stuff before heading out. Jen packed a backpack with food, water, flash light, first aid kit, rifle, and a portable radio. She stepped outside. Cody was limping up the path by the lake.
"Cody!" Jen dropped the bag and put the rifle down. She ran down to him. She hugged him and he hugged her too. "Cody, I love you and I am so sorry."
"Jen I am sorry if I hurt you." Jen helped him back to the cabin.
Cody saw the bag on the porch. "Where are you going?"
"I was going to look for you," Jen stated.
Jen helped Cody into the cabin. Jen went and called Josh and let him know Cody was back.
"Cody what happened."
"I went out for a run after you pushed me away. I twisted my ankle and fell down a hill." Jen got some ice and a towel for it. She helped him take off his shoes and looked at it.
"That looks pretty bad."
"I've had worse. Jen, can you tell me what happened yesterday when I was going to make love to you? Why did you push me off?"
"Cody, I love you. But when we had sex, it brought back the nightmares and I panic'd."
"Why did you not say anything to me."
"I was hoping the more we did it. It would go away, and it just got harder," tears came up in Jen's eyes. "I desire to be with you and want you, but I just can't."
"Jen, what I am going to ask you might be hard to answer and hard for me to hear. Is that how you and Roy had sex?" Jen nodded yes.
"What else would you do when you had sex?"
"Do you really want to know that and why?"
"Honestly, I don't want to know, but I think it might be triggering something in you. If we did other stuff, maybe it won't trigger it."
Jen was bit uncomfortable but told Cody what he wanted to know. They talked about ways of dealing with it. Jen was apprehensive about Cody's idea. They had just one more night before moving to their new home. Cody wanted to give Jen total control of the situation. If they tried tonight or not, it was up to Jen. Cody set up a candle light dinner, they did some slow dancing, and some kissing. Cody trying to get Jen in the mood. It worked and they were finally able to connect and make love to one another. They were in sync with each other. Jen woke up in Cody's arms the next morning and knew she made the right choice to be with Cody. He was the right one for her. He was able to get her past all her insecurities and apprehensions. She was able to make new memories with Cody and helping the nightmares go away.
Jen was lying in bed with her head on Cody's chest, "Cody, in my wedding vows, I told you that you saved me in more ways than you will ever know. I think you have more than saved me, but you healed my heart. Last night I could finally fully give myself to you as we became one flesh. I love you more and more every day."
"Jen, I love you too. Last night was incredible. We have a few more hours to go before we need to head back to Tahoe. Would you like to do it again."
"Absolutely."
Part 4: Trials by Fires, is being written at this point. So will take a bit more time to complete.