Episode 1:


At the Jasmine Dragon – One month After Ozai


Despite the uneasiness oozing out of this specific situation, he felt relieved when he found the airbender perched up on the roof, the moon casting a certain glow which portrayed him more as a fantastical, mystical spirit of the night rather than his goofy, thirteen-year-old friend. With that thought, uneasiness wrapped its ugly hands around his throat again – 'I hope he still is my friend', the older teenager thought to himself, dreading what he was to do now.

As he quietly walked over to the Avatar, hoping the boy wouldn't think he was purposefully trying to disturb his peace, he couldn't help but worry. Would this be it? Everything they've been through, was this all it led to? An open dialogue with a possibly upset and distraught Avatar – a conversation that would probably worsen his state.

Judging by the way he had immediately noted the boy's infatuation with her when he was hunting them earlier on in the year, Zuko fully understood that the subject he was proceeding to bring to light would be a sensitive one. However, it needed to be done; he couldn't be with her – no, he wouldn't be with her… unless he was sure, with his entire being, that Aang was okay with it. Plus, judging by the reflective yet peaceful expression the boy had donned, Zuko had a feeling he was blowing this situation way out of proportion. Katara had told him so; her chat with Aang, despite its awkwardness, was a productive one which she also admitted relieved her of much stress. Yet, he also couldn't help but feel that the younger boy was wearing a mask, hiding his true emotions from them as he didn't want to be the reason they couldn't be together.

'He would do anything for her happiness,' Zuko recognised that – he both respected and hated the nomad for it. Respect was born from the understanding that Aang's feelings weren't at the capacity of a simple, childish crush, as Katara had presumed. It was something born from the icy depths of an iceberg prison, progressing through success and struggles, melding with laughter and agony, until it finally evolved into an emotion he felt unworthy of mentioning. And hatred… well, maybe hatred was too strong a word, but needless to say, he wasn't comfortable with how he felt: like the lowest of scum. Here was a boy whom he had attacked, captured, hurt, and even helped involuntarily kill – a boy who forgave him for all his misdeeds and was one of the first to offer him the hand of friendship – and here he was, asking that same understanding and compassionate boy if he was okay after stealing the girl of his dreams.

He felt pathetic. Shameful. Dishonourable.

"Aang?" He approached the boy cautiously.

The boy didn't respond at first, seemingly transfixed on the nebula stars above him; swirls of purple, blue and lime-green painting the canvas that was the sky above them, with strangle sparkles glittered everywhere. If the person he could likely be upsetting in a few seconds wasn't the most powerful bender in the world, Zuko would likely lay beside him and enjoy the view too. He often did with his mother, and after the Crystal Catacombs – his betrayal – he'd often lay by the pond in the gardens. During the nights when he'd escape the sun's hold on him, he'd stare up at the stars, finding solace in the vastness above him – wondering if she was watching him while analysing the star constellations she had engraved in his mind at a young age.

"Hey Zuko," came the boy's soft voice, though, his eyes were still glued to the sky above them.

The Fire Lord's eyebrows furrowed of their own accord, his confusion vitalising itself voluntarily through his expression as he wondered why the boy sounded so calm and even, rather than the broken crackles he'd conjured in his mind, the same crackles he feared he'd hear ring through his ears before being blown off the roof by a massive gust of wind – a consequence of an upset Aang's now heightened, already powerful airbending.

"I – I ummm…" Zuko dipped his head as he ran a hand through his hair – he hadn't planned an approach; he was hoping that once a line of dialogue was open, he'd automatically find the words. Clearly, he needed to stop setting expectations. "I wanted… I wanted to talk – to talk to you about… uhh."

The older teenager sighed when he noticed the ends of the boy's lips curving upwards; clearly, he was attempting to supress a smile, possibly hoping to save the older teen from further embarrassment.

"You don't need to be nervous," Aang stated, softly yet reassuringly, patting the spot beside him as he glanced at the boy for a short moment before returning his gaze to the sky above him.

Yet again, the firebender was surprised – he had always known that the younger boy possessed a certain calm and peacefulness that was akin to his uncle's, but in this specific situation, he had expected that tranquillity to fade into nothing but a figment of one's imagination, thus leaving behind and empty pit consumed by bitterness, jealousy and anger. At least, that's how Zuko thought he'd probably react, that's how he had reacted in the past with Mai… but clearly, Aang was not him.

And Zuko was relieved he likely never would be.

Taking a seat beside the Avatar, who was laying on his back, the firebender took a quick glance above, for a moment, marvelled by the mysterious vastness displayed above him before he recalled why he was there and dipped his head.

"I'm sorry," he simply stated, not knowing exactly what to say or how to say it.

'How do you apologise for hurting someone who has done nothing but seek the best for you?' – he asked himself, suddenly reminded of the similar thoughts he possessed before facing his uncle after weeks of separation.

"I'm sorry for… for doing this to you," he couldn't meet his gaze, Zuko knew the Avatar was hoping he'd look him in the eye, but he couldn't do it. He didn't' have the courage to stare into such beautiful and innocent eyes while reminding them, possibly, of their greatest tragedy, at the same time. "I – I never intended to… I know you've been through a l-lot, and hurting you like this was the last-"

He was cut off by the younger's hand on his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly with comforting eyes when their gazes met.

"There's nothing to apologise for," the Avatar simply stated, shaking his head when he noticed Zuko had opened his mouth to refute. "She made her choice. She tells me she's happy, and you seem happy." The boy smirked, "Well, about as happy as a sourpuss could be." Zuko only grew more confused as he gazed into his silver depths, marvelled by the amount of love and understanding swirling within them while he chastised himself once again for inviting even the smallest shards of heartbreak to penetrate them.

"I – I'm confused," Zuko mumbled out.

Aang simply chuckled as he once again laid down and refocused his gaze on the skies, the gentle, Ba Sing Se, night-time breeze causing his Avatar robes to sway along with it.

"If I had a yuan for every time I heard that, I'd have…" he thought for a minute as he completed his joke, chuckling when he was done, "…two yuan's."

"I'm afraid of how calm you are," Zuko observed, rushing to complete his train of thought when Aang's gaze was set on him once again after his comment. "I – I mean, if I was in your position, I'd be… upset. Angry."

Aang stared at him for a few seconds, thus causing sweat to pool around Zuko's brow as he feared he had upset the younger boy. Not long after, Aang simply sighed, his sight returned to the nebula skies. "There's no sense in being angry over things you can't control."

"I guess that's true," Zuko conceded before returning to the apology, "but still, I'm truly, truly sorry about what I – "

"Do you like her?" Aang simply asked, to which Zuko nodded as in 'yes'. "Do you want to be with her?" He nodded again. "Then why are you apologising? She's a wonderful girl, I can't fault you for having the common sense of seeing that."

"But I still feel guilty," Zuko stated, his voice low and raspy as he stared off into the distance. "You've done so much for me, for the world. You've forgiven me for all my wrongdoings against you and your friends, you've helped me become a better person, yet I still… I still…" his voice quivered, fists clenching in an attempt to control the shame and guilt oozing out of his very being. "I still couldn't stop myself… I still couldn't control myself… I just had to go and do what I did – "

"You act like it's a crime: wanting to be with Katara," Aang cut him off again. "I told you already, there's nothing to apologise for Zuko. She made her choice; yes, I had hoped it would be me, but I guess she's one of the many other sacrifices I'll have to make."

"Yet, its different, isn't it?" Zuko challenged, "she's not just another sacrifice; you love her." For a brief moment, Zuko noticed the airbender's eyes widening in surprise before he diverted his gaze and relaxed. "She means more to you than anything… and I – I…"

"Even if you didn't want to be with her," Aang cut him off when he trailed off his rails as he lost his thought process, "that wouldn't necessarily mean she'd be with me. She thinks of me as a friend, her best friend. To her, I'll always just be Aang."

"You could've changed that though…"

Aang's eyebrow twitched up in interest, "How so?"

"You could've told her of your true feelings," this time Zuko cut him off, surprising himself as he grew agitated by how easily Aang was taking all this. He wanted the airbender to chew him out; he didn't feel worthy of his understanding and kindness. "It would've put events into perspective for her. But she doesn't know, and –"

"And she never will."

"Why?" he asked, bewildered.

"Because she doesn't need to know," just then, in that moment, Zuko's eyes narrowed when he caught the small crack in the boy's voice. If you weren't oddly perceptive or actively searching for it, it would've faded into the gentle breeze and the chatter and laughter originating from citizens a few blocks away in the streets of the upper sector. But Zuko had heard it. "All I want for her is to be happy. If I tell her how I feel, or if she somehow finds out…" the boy sighed as he met Zuko's gaze head on, "I don't want her to feel guilty. She's been through enough already, you all have – "

"And you haven't?!" Zuko roared, taking Aang by surprise. The boy wondered why the firebender seemed to want to defend him more than his own relationship. If he had the liberty of courting the waterbender, he too would feel sorry, but he certainly wouldn't go to the great lengths Zuko was of apologising. "You've suffered the most out of all of us. Why are you so calm about this? After chasing you around the world, I just swooped in and took the girl you loved. Don't you… don't you want to hurt me?!"

"And what would that achieve?" Aang asked calmly. "We just ended a war that has been progressing for a hundred years. We just brought peace to the world. Why would I endanger that peace?" Aang narrowed his eyes, understanding exactly what Zuko was seeking as he spoke his thoughts, "I'm not going to punish you Zuko. You did nothing wrong."

"But… what about… what about Katara?" Zuko continued to question the boy, marvelled by how selfless, practical and mature the younger boy was being. This wasn't a mask, Zuko realised, Aang wasn't hiding his pain – you could see it painted all over his face vividly – but he wasn't throwing a tantrum or crying his eyes out either. Maybe he would later, when he was alone, but it was exactly for that reason that Zuko didn't want to leave. He didn't want the boy to shed a single tear for, what felt like to Zuko, his betrayal towards Aang's heart.

"Katara's smart; she clearly sees something in you, otherwise we wouldn't be where you are." When Zuko seemed undeterred by Aang's answers, the younger boy sighed and sat up to face the firebender completely, face to face. "We can't change what's happened, and I can't change how I feel. It may hurt for a while, but in time, it'll pass. Knowing that she's happy is enough for me. Just, promise me two things."

It sounded more like a demand than a request.

"Promise me you won't mistreat her; you'll keep her happy."

"Okay," he agreed, the rasp in his voice sounding heavier due to the respect he held for Aang building and the shame he harboured for doing this to him strengthening.

"And promise me you won't tell her… about me – about my feelings."

Zuko was deep in thought for a moment, torn between wanting to tell Katara so she could know the truth and possibly see Aang in a new light, and desiring to see where his own relationship with her could lead.

"I promise."

"Good," Aang gave him a single nod before smiling sadly, but Zuko couldn't help but frown.

"I still feel like I'm cheating you, though. Like I'm betraying you." Zuko admitted, dipping his head, allowing the shame to wash over him as he continued. "I want you to know that I never intended for any of this to happen, it sort of just… did."

"I understand," Aang nodded once again, airbending himself up to his feet as he dusted himself off using subtle airbending. "I don't blame you, nor do I hold it against you." When he once again noticed that Zuko didn't fully believe him, Aang simply shook his head as he shuffled to leap off the roof. "You're my friend Sifu Hotman, and so is she; it would be wrong and selfish of me to be bitter and jealous of your happiness."

Peeking over his shoulder, Aang noticed Zuko's gaze fixed on him. For some reason, when he stared into the older teen's amber eyes, he noticed his pupils highlighting a particular request, one which he knew would hurt to grant. Yet he granted it anyway.

"Its okay, Zuko. You make her happy, be with her."

Sighing in relief while still feeling lightheaded due to the overwhelming amount of guilt and shame and uncertainty looming in his mind, Zuko gazed into the younger's eyes as he spoke.

"Thank you. If you ever need anything at all, if there's any request you have – "

"I know," Aang smiled slightly, reassuring the Fire Lord somewhat.

"What will you do now?" Zuko asked, wanting to end their discussion on a different, less sombre and possibly optimistic note.

"Help rebuild the world, obviously," Aang shrugged, hiding the small frown he had donned at the thought that he likely wouldn't have the liberty to travel with Katara anymore by turning his body away from Zuko's seeking and analysing gaze. "Goodnight."

Sighing softly, the airbender leapt off the roof and shuffled down the deck, his feet transporting him to his room while his mind reminded him of the uncertainty and pain that had been lingering inside all evening.

Opening his door, Aang undressed himself mindlessly, numbly – the bed felt soft when he landed on it; seeming as if it would swallow him whole if he pressed into it any harder. He observed, that after sleeping on nothing but solid rock for months on end, a soft, comfortable, supporting structure akin to the kind he was laying on now would probably seem unsettling to individuals similar to him – the scars of war unwavering.

He stared up at the ceiling, his eyes scanning the various random patterns above him while his thoughts transported him to an entirely new world. A world void of any joy. He wasn't lying when he told Zuko and Katara he was happy for them – he truly was. However, their happiness, and his willingness and desire to not make a mess of things didn't accumulate to his own joy. He felt at peace, he truly did; he had ended the war along with his friends and had ushered in a new era of tranquillity, one that would be aware of yet untouched by the horrors of war in the future, if he had any say in the matter. However, despite all that, even he couldn't help but frown when her smile would overload his mind every so often. At first, he would reciprocate the smile, realising he was uncapable of doing anything but. However, when the thought that she wouldn't be smiling because of him, or at him either, crossed his mind, he couldn't help but allow a sliver of bitterness and anger to block the once equally and freely flowing river within his system.

Her smile, he was envisioning it then, how it caused shivers to run down his spine – so sweet and elegant, endearing and lovely, awe-striking and… heart-breaking. So beautifully heart-breaking.

He shook the thought away, instead choosing to focus on his future and what he was to do with it, now that she likely wouldn't be a critical figure within it – not if she was to reside in the Fire Nation within Zuko. He was hoping she would travel with him, but when he found them together, on that balcony, he recognised that, that hope would indefinitely remain a fantasy. Just like his vision of them growing together, side by side, loving each other.

As the nomad tucked himself into bed, sighing into the warm covers, he had a feeling that he likely would never come across a love akin to the one he held for her in this lifetime….

He didn't know how wrong he was.


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