Preface:

Holy shit, trigger warning. Holy shit!

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 7

Blue is a Social Construct

Our magnanimous hero, Commander Shepard, casually strolled away with his hands in his pockets. He could hear Dr. Chakwas screaming and pounding on the door behind him, but he had already locked the door to the medbay and stolen all the Omni-Gel. Unless she threw a weapon or two in the Omni-Gel machine, she'd be trapped in there for a while. Just long enough, Shepard thought, for me to get REALLY fucking krunk!

Now, reader, there are a lot of hard drugs in the world, past, present, and future. They ruin lives and destroy families, and the use and transportation of these horrid substances is highly illicit. Unfortunately, there is one specific drug that is not only legal, but more common and accessible than any other drug in the galaxy: Omni-Gel. And Shepard has been on this stuff for as long as he can remember (which, thanks to Omni-Gel, is not that long).

Shepard excitedly retreated to his Captain's Cabin®, pulled his pants down and was about to inject Omni-Gel straight into his ass, when Liara suddenly appeared. Shit, thought our addictable hero. I told her I was done!

See, dear reader, there's no one Shepard fears more than his blue waifu. She's not really even dominating or anything, Shepard's just super submissive whenever she's around. The only reason he got anything done during the Collector Quest is because she wasn't in the party, giving him constant boners and causing him to salivate every time she said "Commander" (which is also their safe word). This time around, she had come back into his life and was determined to change him. Liara had seen all the Omni-Gel he consumed back when they first met, and it disturbed her greatly. How could one man shoot that many weapons, armor and upgrades into his own ass and live to tell the tale?

Dr. Liara T'Soni sighed. This wasn't the first time, and it definitely wouldn't be the last.

When Liara returned to the party on Mars, she found her old boyfriend Shepard in an elevator shooting up 'Gel with his buff Alliance buddies, James and Ashley (also junkies, thanks military rations). His face was gaunt, although no more gaunt than usual, and he had a strange scrotal twitch (although that was probably the same as before too). He kind of looked like a bunch of varren had vigorously humped him in the stomach until he tumbled down a hill of spiky space rocks- again, nothing out of the ordinary. Actually, Omni-Gel made him a lot stronger, smarter, and a more powerful biotic to the degree where at one point on Thessia, Liara saw him strip off his weapons and armor in the middle of a fight and charge nude into a group of husks screaming "I'VE LOST SHIELDS" at the top of his lungs. The only thing actually lost that day was Liara's breakfast as she promptly chundered it all over some priceless Prothean artifacts. Well, once you get your doctorate, they can't take it away, right?

Anyway, Liara's pretty much considered a kid by asari standards, and her school's drug prevention program was still fresh in her mind. If Shepard didn't go cold turkey on the 'Gel, she told him, then she would most definitely not be his girlfriend. This happened to be one deal our hero couldn't refuse.

Liara had caught Shepard at a very inopportune time. She took one look at him and crossed her arms. Shepard, ass bare, arm extended with space syringe in hand, couldn't spin this any other way if he tried. She finally had him. Now she could finally convince him to go to rehab! As the space syringe was poised about an inch from Shepard's buttocks, it dripped three times onto the ground, making the disgustingly mistreated floor shine like never before. As soon as the glint of light met her eyes, however, Shepard was gone. Liara froze, and looked around. Besides the awful smell and weird eastern European dance music in the background, every trace of him was gone. I had him, she thought. He was just here! Dammit, now he'll just deny that he was ever in his quarters. This kind of behavior is unusual to say the least, but Liara had been around Shepard long enough, and it was pretty much expected at this point. He was a wily one.

As Liara T'Soni exasperatedly turned to walk away, she noticed that where there had been only three spots of Omni-Gel on the floor before, there were now six. She shook her head and smirked. He has matured.

Just then, she heard EDI over the intercom. "Dr. T'Soni, you'd probably want to know that there's been an unauthorized shuttle launch." Since Shepard was so infatuated with her, and poor XO Pressly seemed to really draw his ire, the Commander had made Liara his first officer. A poor decision, she thought. I don't know how to command a starship - but then again, neither does Shepard.

"How many life signs are on that shuttle?" Shepard never goes anywhere alone; he craves human attention.

"I count one life sign, and another really faint one. I'd wager it's Shepard and Master Chief."

Liara looked around. Sure enough, the Chief was gone. Last week, it was Legion. When will he stop doing this? This wasn't really that big of a problem, though. "What's their current vector?"

"Virtually nonexistent, Doctor. They're drifting out of the shuttle bay at about 2.3 meters per second." That was also to be expected; Shepard didn't know shit about piloting anything. The missions with the Mako had been especially traumatic for everyone, but Shepard was so numb from all the Omni-Gel that he couldn't feel G-forces anymore. She'd heard that incessant giggling in her nightmares for weeks…

Liara shook her head and sighed. "Fish him back in and resume standard protocols. I'll be in my office."

As Liara entered her office, her AI hologram friendo Glyph greeted her as usual. "Good afternoon, Dr. T'Soni. You have 112 unread messages." That was pretty common. Being the Shadow Broker, anyone anywhere could take a shit in a soundproof, lead-coated room and she would get an email about it. Liara quickly went into Microsoft Excel mode and scrolled through all her emails. They were all usual business shit - dirt on hanar politicians, Ambassador Udina's browser history, proof that 9/11 was an inside job (we're talking about 9/11/2121, when someone started a war with the turians by raiding the royal pantry - turns out it wasn't salarians, it was just some fat turian who lied about it later). You know, the usual.

She was just about to lock her door and switch tabs, but she heard a "ping", and sure enough, there was one more new email. As she read the subject, even her vagina had to sigh.

She sipped her coffee and reluctantly clicked on the message.

From: cUmAnd3r_c0oLgUy_2154

Subject: luk behind u

;))

~~som heros dont wear caps, they were cool armer~~

- Commandar John Shepard, n7 alliance solder & counsel Spektar

Liara didn't have to turn around. She could hear him breathing from a mile away. Being a powerful biotic and the daughter of a Matriarch, she could sense exactly where he was and most of his vitals. Judging by his heartrate and the rate of his mouthbreaths, he was probably nude and randy as all hell. Goddess, I'm so tired of him. I really should be punishing him right now. Unfortunately, even as an independent and intelligent asari, Liara found she had one glaring character flaw: she really liked Shepard's dick.

Back on Thessia, kids had made fun of her mercilessly for being a pureblood asari, which is really stupid because being pureblood makes you essentially better than most other asari, but she had gotten over that. The thing that they teased her even more for, however, was her propensity for penis. Asari aren't supposed to be selective about their sexual partners, being the whores of the galaxy and all, but that's not because they're naturally whory, it's entirely a social construct - a social construct that Liara wanted to innovatively disrupt.

Let's clear up a misconception about the asari: they are whores because they act like whores, because they are whores, because they want to be whores. There's a stereotype of asari as whores because, well, they're whores. It's not even a stereotype, it's their culture. Whores. Anyway.

All 50 of Liara's college years were fraught with teasing and bullying by her asshole peers, mostly because they were all half-salarian couldn't help it. Even the wise and tenured Dr. Sha'ira in her reproductive studies class made fun of her for not being enough of a whore (turned out later she was probably the biggest whore of all). It's just that, in the 108 years that our heroine Liara's been alive, she's only really been turned on by dick. And I'm not talking about turian red rockets here, I mean some rubbery human kielbasa. When Liara was around 47, she saw a human dingle in a high school textbook, and man did it get that blue gorge whistlin'. She joined some fetish communities on the Extranet (that turned out to not be fetish communities, just homosexual human male communities) and pretended to be a human so no one would judge her. But to an asari young adult like Liara, it was really kinky shit, you see.

Unfortunately, after over 50 years of studying long and hard, and enduring biotics training that made her rigid and veiny, she never shook this particular fetish - and after discovering Shepard and his thing for blue aliens, well… it wasn't a match made in heaven, but it was... actually pretty fucking far from a match made in heaven.

So anyway, Liara could feel Shepard breathing from about 4 feet behind her. Normally this would be creepy, but she'd gone without dongle for so long that she could barely remember what it was like. Sure, she tickled Shepard's peeny last week, but she wasn't feeling that moment. She didn't even know why she was proposing to him. What they had was never emotional (unless you consider Shepard's intense Pavlovian sexual longing for blue aliens an emotion), it was always just physical. Physical and goddess-damned fantastic. Shit. Well, you know what? I deserve this.

By the time Liara turned her chair around, Shepard was already face-down, ass-up on her bed. She didn't even have time to think about how he got there so fast; she saw that huge 3 ½ inch floppy dangling and she was off to the races. Her clothes that she wore all the time were getting really itchy and uncomfortable, so she blasted them off with a biotic field. She didn't even have to look down to notice that her nipples were as big and hard as two identical club bouncers from Omega (who are also blue and bumpy). It was from them that her mass effect fields were being generated; they were the source of all her power.

As she approached, shrouded in a magical element zero aura, Shepard was visibly shaking. Liara could only guess that he was both scared and aroused, and she had reason to make that assumption because that's how he was around her all the time. I can solve that. She grabbed him with a powerful biotic field and lifted him into the air, spread-eagled. Shepard screamed like a schoolgirl, which was more annoying than it was arousing, but Liara didn't care.

She mounted the bed and faced him, lips and biotic nipples quivering. Shepard had squeezed his eyes shut, and his mustache was trembling. Perfect. Liara's eyes went black. She raised her right hand into the air.

"Embrace eternity!"

She violently slapped Shepard's dong.

What happened next could only be described as a jizz tsunami. It came out of Shepard like Javik's particle beam, if Javik's particle beam shot a continuous hot load of spum. Liara's senses and reflexes were so heightened that she was able to see it come at her face in slow motion. The cum continued to flow like milk out of the top of the screen in a cereal commercial, but as it approached Liara's face it diffracted around her.

Yes, that's right. Liara was such a good biotic, she had figured out how to manipulate mass effect fields to give semen wave-particle duality.

The jizz frequency was set to 6 GHz and her biotic field was resonating. She balled it up with a quantum field and inspected it. It pulsed more slowly now, around 60 Hz, making it hard to videotape. That was by design.

She had failed to notice that Shepard was screeching like a monkey this whole time. "Shut the fuck up!" She slapped him in the face. This was the feisty portion. "Open your eyes, you pussy! Look at it! Look at what you've done!"

Shepard started crying, but opened his eyes anyway. That indomitable will. That's why he's such a hero. He looked at the pulsating mass, wide-eyed, and abruptly stopped crying.

"It's beautiful," he choked out. "It's our baby."

That was enough. Liara's horny rage reached its climax. It wasn't alone, as Liara herself followed suit. The quantum field containing Shepard's ejaculate compressed itself so hard that it turned the jizz into a hyper-dense solid sphere about 2 centimeters in diameter. What sperm cells still lived in that emission had most definitely been crushed to death, so she levitated it into her vagina. She levitated herself tits up, naughty bits facing our hero, and then she came so hard that the cumball rocketed out of her coochie at mach speed, hitting Shepard square in the nose. Not even giving it a thought, Liara let out a sigh as her rapturous orgasm subsided. Her eyes returned to their normal deep blue. Her biotic fields collapsed and she fell to the bed, asleep. Her dreams were of phallic Prothean artifacts…