Little Red woke up to the feeling of freezing cold water pouring over him.
That was never a good sign.
He held in a groan and took stock of his situation. He was still wearing most of his gear, including the mask he'd added, but his scarf, jacket, and new belt were missing. He was sitting on a metal chair with his arms tightly tied to its arms using rope. A subtle twitch of his legs proved those had been neglected.
Was it weird to be insulted by that?
Knowing his mask would hide it, he cracked his eyes open just enough to see the room he was in.
His chair was sitting in a large plastic tub, likely to catch the water that had been poured over him since the room wasn't some makeshift dungeon, but a finely furnished office. Black Mask was leaning against a desk in front of him while one of his goons stood a few steps away with an empty bucket. Red's jacket and belt were on the desk, alongside the Faraday band.
He hoped whoever had cut it off him had enjoyed the nasty shock it gave them.
Mask watched him for a moment, then nodded at his goon. He stepped out of sight and - judging by the sounds - dipped the bucket into a tub of ice water.
Then the water was poured over Red's head.
Deciding he'd rather not do that a third time, he hissed and woke up.
"Wha's goin' on?" he slurred, slowly lifting his head up and looking around. He noticed Mask and flinched, curling in on himself. "B-Black Mask? What-Why am I-I here? What do you want with m-me?"
"Cut the crap," Mask scoffed, pulling a butterfly knife out and flipping it open. "I think you know exactly why I'd bring Red Hood's Robin here."
Groaning, he slumped back in the chair and used the motion to test the ropes on his arms. Two different people must have tied them down. His left arm was secure, but his right had just enough give to it. "So Cortés did spread that around then?"
"No, she was smarter than that. I paid good money for all her information on you, Olivia Draper."
"Then you should probably know you got ripped off. Draper isn't even my real name and she had all these delusions about me being Hood's daughter. Do you think I'd want to fake date someone old enough to be my father, let alone my actual father?" He shivered. "Gross. Also, please don't let him hear you calling me his Robin. I am so not in the mood for another lecture. Hood seems to think calling myself his Robin was inviting trouble."
"Doesn't this prove his point?" the goon asked.
He must have been new. Mask hated when his guys talked to his captives when he was gearing up for a monologue.
Sure enough, Mask turned to glare at the goon and Red quickly responded before the crime lord could punish him. "It's not an invitation. It's a warning." She gave a toothy grin. "When has going after Robin ever worked out for anyone? Hell, the Bats have that whole thing against killing and Joker's still nearly met the big guy twice. Do you really think it's smart to go after the Robin of someone who enjoys putting bullets in the heads of anyone who doesn't follow his rules to the T?"
The goon's face paled and Mask turned to her, fist tightening on the knife. "I'm not scared of Red Hood."
"I mean, you should be. He's been playing you like a fiddle so far and, really, he nearly blew you up with a rocket launcher just for the fun of it. What do you think he's going to do to you when he finds out about this?"
Mask stomped forward, not even caring about the water that splashed over his nice loafers as he fisted a hand in Red's hair and yanked his head back. The butterfly knife appeared at the corner of his eye. "Careful, girly. If you don't keep that pretty mouth of yours shut, I might just cut it off."
Red twisted his right arm and subtly yanked it towards him to earn both its freedom and a nasty rope burn.
Unaware, Mask dragged the knife down his cheek with just enough pressure to sting, but not draw blood. He poked at Red's painted lips as he said, "Or maybe I'll find another -"
Utilizing some well-earned flexibility and a technique Cass had taught him, Red pressed his upper back into the chair, pressed down on the chair's arms with his own, and tightened his core to swing his legs up and wrap them around Mask's neck. He yanked Mask forward to slam the man's head into the chair's back.
The angle wasn't quite right and he didn't have the strength Cass would have had so the blow didn't knock Mask out, but it was enough to disorient him long enough for Red to grab the gun hiding under his jacket and kick him away.
As Mask stumbled back and tripped over the edge of the tub, the teen flicked off the safety and shot the goon in the knee. Then he turned to where Mask was flopped over on the ground and shot him in the shoulder. He shoved the gun into his waistband, then grabbed the fallen knife to cut his left arm free. That done, he picked up the chair and brought it down over Mask's head as he attempted to stand.
Unfortunately, Mask knocked it away with his good arm.
Red ducked a punch, then a grab. He feinted a punch, then kicked Mask on his injured shoulder. He flipped over the crime lord and ran for his belt. His fingers barely brushed it before Mask managed to grab his arm. He spun him around and slammed him against the desk, pinning him with his good arm and wrapping his other hand around Red's neck.
Red's hand wrapped around the handle of the gun as Mask growled, "You're going to regret that, you little -"
Mask flinched and his hand tightened before releasing as the man started to shake. He slid to the floor as first chuckles, then laughter slipped past his lips.
Red pushed himself up to see a dart with overly large fletching sticking out of Mask's shoulder.
His eyes rose to take in Joker, standing in the doorway with a cartoonish-looking pistol.
The clown gave his wide, signature grin and spun the gun on his finger. "You know, when Blackie there said my copycat had a little Robin of his own, I thought, 'Well gosh darn, she sounds like she'd be almost as fun to play with as the actual Robin! Like a piece of candy before the real dessert!' But this…" He gestured the gun around the room. "This is even better than promised! Watching you give Blackie the runaround! The mouthy attitude! The moves! You're not a cheap knockoff like the other Red! No, no, no! You're the real deal! So…" He pointed the gun at Red. "What's a Little Red Robin like you doing in a place like this?"
Despite all of Stephanie's jokes, Tim had absolutely no plans to follow in Jason's footsteps and start down the shaky path of anti-heroics that could very well lead to him becoming his evil future self.
That said, when facing Joker of all rogues with nothing more to protect himself than a gun…
Well, maybe he wasn't as careful with his aim as he'd been with Mask and the others.
He wasn't aiming to kill or anything. He just didn't care where he hit, really.
And it wasn't like either of the former Robins could really judge him for it so it was probably fine.
Besides, Joker ducked into the hall fast enough that his shots only grazed anyway.
"Naughty, naughty! What would Batman say?" Joker called.
"Probably something about justice," Red called back, jumping over the desk and slamming his hand against the large button he knew he'd find there.
He looked up just as a large metal door slammed shut in Joker's face.
"Thank you for turning all your offices into panic rooms," Red sighed, walking around the desk to nudge Mask's cackling form with his foot.
He turned to Mask's goon to see him slowly getting up.
The man looked at Red, the gun still in his hand, and the metal door.
He laid back down.
"Smart choice."
Red put on his belt and stuck the gun in the holster that normally held his grappling gun as Joker banged on the door.
The intercom crackled to life. "Little Red! Little Red! Let me come in!"
Red rolled his eyes and put on his jacket before hitting the button for the intercom. "Wrong story, Joker."
"Hehehehehehe! You're right! What was I thinking!? How about this: My, Little Red, what big teeth you have!"
"Oh no." Red grabbed his rebreather out as green gas filled the room. He pulled out the antidotes he was carrying, but the safehouse he and Steph had raided hadn't had much to spare so he'd only grabbed two Joker Gas antidotes. He quickly jabbed Mask and the goon, tying them up with zip ties as he went. "This team-up is really paying off for you isn't it Mask?"
Understandably, he didn't respond.
Red started searching for a way out and had just found a hidden vent barely big enough for him to fit through when a phone started ringing. He followed the sound to Mask and dug the phone out of a hidden pocket inside his jacket. He smiled when he saw a familiar number and answered. "Sorry, Mask can't come to the phone right now. He's dealing with the consequences of his actions."
Mask groaned at his feet.
"God damn it, Kid," Red Hood sighed in relief. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, mostly," he said, rubbing his head. "Took a little whiff of Joker Gas, but not enough to do more than make me a little light-headed."
"You don't have an antidote?"
"Gave mine to Mask and his goon."
"Fuck Mask, you should have taken it!"
"I barely got hit and I've got my spare rebreather on while Mask got a double dose and is still sitting in the gas since I can't exactly air out the room. If I hadn't gotten him the antidote -"
"I don't care what would have happened to him. You're the priority!"
"Aw, Hood!"
"Shut up. Where are you?"
"In Mask's office. He had me tied up here when I woke up. I managed to get free and was fighting Mask when Joker arrived and shot Mask with a dart. Thankfully Mask is predictable."
He groaned again and Red kicked his leg.
"I engaged the panic room to lock Joker out, but he planted a canister of gas in here somewhere."
"Alright, stay there. I'm coming for you."
"Can't. The gas is too thick, it would overwhelm my mask before you could get me. I found a vent I can use."
"Fuck! Okay, you got a compass?"
"Duh."
"Head west. That's where I'm going to be coming in from. Keep the phone on you."
"Got it. See you on the other side."
"And stay away from Joker."
"I'll do my best," Red chirped, then hung up before Hood could argue. He tried to call Oracle next, but the phone was locked. He crouched down and jabbed Mask. "Do you seriously not have fingerprint turned on? Rude. What's your password? I need to call Batman and I don't have time to hack in."
Mask just glared at him.
"Great. Wonderful. If Hood kills you because I couldn't get B here in time, don't blame me."
He groaned, but didn't offer any help.
Red kicked him again. He stood up and put the phone in his belt before heading back to the vent. He unscrewed the cover using tools from his belt then climbed in, a glowstick in one hand and his compass in the other.
He spent the next few minutes slowly and quietly sneaking through vents, occasionally ducking out and across empty hallways.
His luck ran out just as the sounds of a fight started to reach him. The vent cover he'd just passed was ripped open and a hand grabbed his ankle. He tried to kick it off, but the hand persisted in dragging him out of the vents and throwing him to the ground. He tried to get up, but something hard and thin slammed into his back, knocking him down again.
"I know this is the part with the woodsman, but Blackie didn't have any axes so I had to improvise!" Joker cackled over him and he turned over just in time for Joker to bring a bat down on his leg.
Red swallowed down a yelp and kicked out with his uninjured leg, knocking the bat out of the clown's hand.
"Well that's not nice," Joker huffed and stomped right where the bat had hit Red's leg, grinding it against the ground. "What would Batsy say?"
Red couldn't hold back his scream this time and a snarled, mechanical, "KID!" echoed back at him.
Joker's grin grew and he forced Red onto his feet and against the clown's chest. One arm wrapped around Red, keeping his arms pinned, while the other ripped off his rebreather and pressed a large knife to his cheek just as Hood came storming into the hall.
"Hey, look at you, Mr. Hood," Joker chuckled, waving the knife at him and shifting Red so he better covered him. "Or do you prefer Red? I used to wear an outfit a lot like that, you know, but mine was more flashy maitre d' than motorcycle fetish. You kids today."
Red slammed his head back into Joker's face and he made a sound that was half hiss, half chortle before slipping the knife into the opening between Red's jacket and pants.
"I'm sorry, could you hold on? I was just in the middle of cutting open your Little Red Riding Hood to see if Granny would fall out."
Hood raised his guns. "Let her go!"
"I have a better idea!" He brought the knife up to the corner of Red's mouth, tugging at it just enough that it started to sting. "How about you drop your little noise makers before I give her a grin worthy of being the classic Red Hood's sidekick?"
Hood's grip on his guns tightened, but before he could do anything else, a dark figure stepped out of the shadows of an adjoining hallway.
Joker perked up. "Ah, Batman! Wonderful timing!"
"Let the kid go, Joker," Batman growled.
The clown yawned. "Come one, Batsy. We're past that part already. Now we're discussing whether Hood here would rather drop his guns or watch his girl get a permanent smile."
"Don't." Batman started to take a step forward only to freeze when Joker tugged a little harder at Red's mouth.
He started to taste blood.
"Nuh-uh, stay right there. This isn't about you, Batsy! We'll play in a bit! Now, Mr. Hood, time to make a choice."
"You're going to regret this," Hood said as he flicked the safeties on and set the guns down.
"Promises, promises," Joker giggled. He pulled the knife away from Red's mouth to tap the wet tip against his cheek. "Speaking of your girl, though, I found out something very interesting! Would you like to hear what I found out? Hm?"
Batman and Hood just stared at him with matching fury.
Red rolled his eyes. "They already know I'm Robin."
He felt Joker's smile fall. "Party pooper."
He drove the knife down, just missing Red's neck and hitting his collarbone instead as he jerked to the side.
Batman and Hood both threw their hands out.
A previously hidden batarang flew out of Batman's hand, knocking the knife away from Joker and cutting his arm.
A sword materialized from Hood's hand, flying forward to bury itself in Red's chest up to the hilt.