A/N: Surprise! Another chapter already! It is my week off from school and I even got some time off work. While I feel strange not working or studying, it is nice to sit back and just have time for my hobbies.
I wanted to give a shoutout to reviewer Erulastiel-Ithilwen who caught my error in chapter 3 about how many years Hermione had travelled from. I was thinking about how long the war had been going at that point, and in this story, Voldemort has been slowly recruiting and causing destruction since 1970, 28 years before Hermione left behind destruction. I have corrected the chapter to say 20 years.
Please enjoy this much longer chapter that I loved writing, particularly for an insight into Regulus. I have been lost on Marauders Tiktok so Timothee Chalamet is my Regulus. Ben Barnes will always be my Sirius Black, as well as Andrew Garfield as Remus and Andrew Taylor-Johnson as James.
Chapter 8
Hermione winced at her word choice. Of all the things she could say, she chose something Luna said to her?! Merlin, she loved the girl but she wasn't exactly someone you went to for logical conversation.
'I am an intelligent and logical witch, why must I do this to myself?' Hermione internally cried, 'If only Ron could see me now. He would get a right kick out of this.'
"Wrackspurts?" repeated Snape slowly. He was looking at her like he used to look at Neville Longbottom. Hermione was mortified.
"Severus, forget the plan, she's barmy. Let's go," said Regulus with a blank expression.
"No, wait!" Hermione cried out as she scrambled up from her spot on the floor. She quickly looked around, making sure they were alone, and grabbed their sleeves, pulling them into a dark corner in the stacks. She refrained from casting a Muffliato, not wanting to alert Snape and put him on the defensive.
"What do you think you're doing?" asked Regulus incredulously. They could not be caught hidden in the dark with a Mudblood, especially this Mudblood.
"I cast a Notice-me-not, if you have any privacy spells, go ahead," she replied as casually as she could. She was freaking out about this, this was not part of the plan but she needed to work with what she had. Regulus and Severus shared a look, silently agreeing to see what she had to say, as Severus cast his personal privacy charm.
"I repeat, what do you think you're doing?" Regulus repeated after Severus finished.
"First off, hello, my name is Hermione Granger," she spoke, extending her hand which neither reached for. She let out a frustrated sound and dropped her hand, "Fine. I overheard your conversation with the burly Slytherin, Mulciber was it? I know about your friend, and I know you both don't want to be friends anymore. I am willing to help with that."
"Regulus, you're right. She's barmy," Severus spoke after an extended silence.
"What makes you think you know anything?" Regulus demanded. This was not the plan; this was far from the plan. They were to approach her, have information for her, and hold the cards against her. Yet here she was, already aware of them, already aware of their desire to defect. He didn't like losing control, he needed to know all the chess pieces and this Mudblood comes in, an unknown variable that is already multiple steps ahead of them.
'How does she know about our doubts and thoughts of defection? Have we been careless? Does the Dark Lord know? If he does, Severus and I are dead,' Regulus worried.
"I know about the rat infestation," Hermione replied curtly. Severus and Regulus were speechless, they glanced at one another and both agreed that their original plans were no longer needed. They didn't need to build her trust to somehow convince her about Pettigrew, she already knew, "I can help you and you can help me, that's the Slytherin way, right?"
"How could you possibly help us?" asked Severus doubtfully.
"I know that there are two people you both wish to speak to. Two people that make you regret your choices. I know about Lily and Sirius," replied Hermione. The Slytherins were surprised that this Muggleborn was so adept at talking to Slytherins. She knew how they worked, offering a favour for a favour, and had managed to learn their weaknesses.
'Oh, she is good,' smirked Regulus.
"War is a time to build and mend bridges, not to build walls and barriers," Hermione whispered with wide, hopeful eyes. She needed them, both of them.
"What do you want in return?" asked Regulus. Hermione looked at the boy so like Sirius, yet so different. He was looking at her with what looked like pride in his eyes, which couldn't be right.
"If it isn't obvious, I need assistance with the friend and the rat," Hermione replied, "I need to know what his plans are, what he is told to do, and why."
"Alright, you want our information, what are you going to do for us in return? You are just a Mudblood," Regulus sneered. He felt his friend tense up beside him, he internally rolled his eyes. He needed to make sure the witch had a plan that would help them.
"I repeat, Lily and Sirius. Freedom from a madman. I offer you the chance for both," replied Hermione, she saw Regulus about to ask her to explain but she couldn't. Not yet. If they knew they would have to remain in his ranks for another year at least, she wasn't sure they would help her. Not without reasoning, which she couldn't do until she had told Lily and the boys, and had time to explain everything. "I can't explain more now, there isn't enough time. I will though, I will explain everything and how I can help," she promised them.
"Fine," Severus replied through clenched teeth.
"I understand that you will need to insult me and call me Mudblood, I understand, I will find a way for us to meet without disrupting the balance of Gryffindor and Slytherin rivalry," smirked Hermione.
"Severus and I have obligations elsewhere, we will consider your words and possibly find you once more. Until then," Regulus motioned to Severus to break the Muffliato, "See you around Mudblood," sneered Regulus in perfect Slytherin fashion, turning and walking out of the library.
Severus watched her for a moment longer, trying to read any deception or duplicity. Finding nothing, he turned and followed Regulus, silently, from the library. Once both were gone from sight, Hermione looked around once more and ran back to her table. She quickly collected her belongings, packed them in her bag, and left to make her way to Gryffindor tower.
-oOo-
James was sitting in the courtyard with Remus, Sirius, and Peter while Lily and the girls did their homework in the common room. They were also hoping to talk to Hermione, hoping that they could distract her with some 'girl time' as they described it. He wanted to go and find Hermione himself, however, he was currently trying to find a way to distract Peter so he could run off and steal the map back from Filch's office. They wanted to get it as quickly as they could so they could talk to Hermione, they knew she wouldn't open up if there was a chance they could be overheard.
He missed the girl he met in Diagon Alley, who sat on the couch with him in the dorms and pressed into his side. He knew it would take her time for her, and that she would have bad days, but he wanted to be there for her. He wanted to be the person she turned to when she was having a hard day. He didn't want her strengthening her walls and distancing herself. She wasn't the girl who laughed about the Weasley twins, made a Sirius pun, or talked about punching a Malfoy in the face. No, she was becoming the fragile shell that arrived in Dumbledore's office and fell apart in Molly Weasley's arms. This time though, she didn't have a Molly Weasley, she was pushing them away.
"James?" Sirius called out, waving his hand in front of James' eyes.
"What?" replied James, breaking out of his thoughts.
"We asked you if you think Petey should ask out Stevens?"
"Oh, sorry, yeah go for it Wormy! Maybe this year we'll catch you in a broom cupboard?" laughed James. He felt nauseous pretending to be Peter's friend, pretending that they didn't know he idolized the darkest wizard in British history. He had to push the feeling aside, he needed to keep up the act to keep everyone he loved safe. James also didn't understand how he hadn't ever spotted it. Peter was not exactly subtle with his glares, James had caught him glaring at Lily and Hermione at least four times that afternoon, and even once toward him, Remus, and Sirius.
"Ha, ha, maybe if you didn't need to stick your cocks in everything that moved, you wouldn't be caught so often," replied Peter with a chuckle. In the past that would have sounded like a humourous jab towards James and Sirius, however now they could hear the resentment, there was no humour. It hurt every time he gave them more proof.
"Just go ask her out Wormtail," exhaled Remus, pinching the bridge of his nose, "you've been eyeing her for months. Just pluck up some Gryffindor courage and do it." Peter shot a glare at Remus. When none of the boys said anything more, he set his face into a smile, let out a deep breath, stood up, and made his way to the two witches. Betty Stevens and Sarah McLaggen were two Hufflepuff girls that generally kept to themselves, though they would eye James and Sirius appreciatively when they walked by, something Peter chose to ignore. He had been eyeing Betty Stevens for a while, although he didn't like her friend all that much.
"Keep an eye on him," James whispered to Remus and Sirius, "I'm going to go get it now." James didn't wait for an answer before he ran into the castle, he quickly ducked behind a suit of armour and pulled out his Invisibility Cloak. He threw it over himself, made sure he was completely covered and headed to Filch's office. Luckily it was a sunny day outside so he didn't have to worry about running into anyone in the halls, everyone was taking advantage of the warmth in Scotland. It did not take him long to reach the door to the locked office, however, it did take him some time to unlock the door. Filch had apparently spoken to someone and had an Alohomora-proof lock on the door. James smirked at the caretaker's attempts to keep the Marauders out, he would have to try harder than that, James was third in charms, behind Lily and Remus.
A minute after discovering the charmed door, James was inside the office rummaging through the filing cabinet. He searched through the 'M's' for 'Marauders' but discovered that Filch did not even have a section for it. He did find a drawer for himself under 'P' for 'Potter', and one for Sirius under 'B' for 'Black'. Remus and Peter shared a drawer but were significantly smaller than his and Sirius'.
"Oh, come on, Remus planned and executed that one! Sirius and I were just caught as lookouts," muttered James looking at one of the pranks in his file. This is why Filch needed a Marauder file, it was never just one of them involved. James was rifling through Sirius' file when he heard footsteps heading toward him. He cursed as he tried to finish looking through Sirius' file, the largest of the lot, as he always seemed to get caught. Just as he heard a key in the door, James found the map stashed between the detention folders of '75 and '76. He only managed to close the drawer and cover himself with the cloak as the door swung open, revealing a suspicious Filch.
"I don't see anyone here, my sweet," the caretaker said to his mangy cat, Mrs. Norris. James slowly moved to the back wall and stepped lightly around the desk. He made sure not to make a noise as he snuck out of the open door, fortunately only Mrs. Norris' eyes followed him. Filch was too preoccupied with walking around the room with his arms wide and taking large, wide, crab-like steps around his office. James, though he was laughing, was surprised the caretaker had successfully guessed the trespasser was invisible, just unfortunate for him that he failed.
Turning away from the amusing scene, the cat trying to catch her master's attention while he flailed around, James moved to a dark corner and pulled out the map. It felt wonderful to have it in his hands again, it still amazed him that he and his friends were able to create it at all.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he whispered reverently. He watched as the ink spread, his eyes lighting up at seeing the magic take effect. He only had to wait a moment for the entire map to be visible and immediately found his own name standing a short distance from Filch and Mrs. Norris. He moved his eyes down to the courtyard and found Remus and Sirius together, with Peter's name standing further away, alone. Stevens and McLaggen were nowhere to be seen.
'Ah, maybe next time, Wormy,' he thought insincerely.
James chose to search for Hermione next, he hadn't seen her since their last class. He found the girls in the Head dorm, but Hermione was not with them. She also wasn't in her dorm or even in the common room. His eyes travelled to the library, if she wasn't there, he wasn't sure where else to look. When he found her name, instead of smiling, he frowned. Her name was right beside Regulus Black and Severus Snape, and they were all standing in a corner of the library alone.
'If she knew everyone in twenty years, then she should know not to talk to them,' James wasn't sure what to think, 'Lily will be upset, and Sirius will be furious.'
'Maybe she knows something else about the future, about them? Maybe they are important?' he tried to consider.
'Then she should have said something. Sirius loves his brother; it devastated him when he felt like he lost him. Lily was heartbroken losing Snivellus. If they were so important, she should have told us!' James felt his temper rising. He didn't want to be angry with the witch, she asked them to trust her, but she was keeping secrets. These were two of the most important people in his life, he didn't want to see them hurt.
'She shared a lot at that first meeting and then we haven't been anywhere private to talk. Maybe she hasn't been able to explain yet,' he reasoned. He felt his anger dissipate with that thought. How could he expect her to tell them everything from the last twenty years in the few times they had been able to discuss it? He wasn't being fair to her. He just had to find her and ask her, explain to her how delicate the topic was with Lily and Sirius, especially Sirius.
James removed the cloak, sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, he had to find her and talk to her in case she tried to approach Lily and Sirius. She needed context before bringing it up. It wasn't just a regular break in friendship for Lily, she was still deeply hurt by her old best friend, her first friend. He was the friend who taught her about magic, and he turned on her, not only turned on her but publicly denounced her as that horrible slur. Remus felt her pain as well, he knew how close she was with her Slytherin friend and he never made her choose. He accepted her friendship and even attempted to put a stop to James and Sirius' rivalry with the Slytherin for her sake. They even listened and promised to only retaliate if shots were fired first unless it was good-natured pranks, then no one was safe.
Black. Regulus Black was a whole other Quidditch game. Just mentioning Reggie's name around Sirius sent him spiraling. He was Sirius' weakness, the one person that could break the Marauder into a thousand pieces. It was always bad when Regulus was involved in an altercation in Hogwarts. If it was just the Slytherins, Sirius would be his sarcastic, witty self, unfazed and collected, however, when Regulus was involved, Sirius became cold and cruel. He would hold it together until he was back in their dorm or alone in the forest. That's where he would break, where he would either sob and cry until he had no tears left or he became destructive and blasted everything around him and punched a surface until his knuckles bled.
James was almost to the portrait hole when he heard footsteps running toward him. He looked behind him and saw the witch he had been thinking about, the witch he needed to talk to.
"Oh," she stopped when she spotted him, nervously greeting him, "hi." Hermione was used to seeing a smile on James' face, he normally looked happy when they spoke. However, at this moment, that was the furthest look from his face. His smile was gone and his mouth was in a straight line, there was a frown line between his eyebrows, and he was looking at her grimly.
"Hello," he answered, it came out less friendly than he intended, and he watched as she wrapped her arms around herself and take a step back. He immediately felt guilty, "Come with me."
James stepped away from the portrait hole and held his hand out for her, which she hesitantly took. He led them to an empty classroom, closed the door, and placed locking and privacy charms around them. He then pulled out the map and spread it out on the desk, folding it so that he could see the room their names were in. Now he would be able to watch and make sure they were alone, the map would show them if there was someone invisible or an animagus appeared, the map never lied.
"You got it back," Hermione said after an awkward silence.
"Yes, I managed to find it half an hour ago, or so. I wanted to make sure it was still working and when I opened it, I saw something interesting," he said tightly, watching her reaction. As he spoke he saw the understanding flash in her eyes followed by guilt.
"You saw who I was speaking with, I'm guessing?" she asked carefully, "I was actually coming to talk to you about that now. I didn't mean to talk to them already, it just happened and I took advantage of the opportunity. I needed to tell you that we needed to meet somewhere private, now that you have the map it will be much easier. I also may have forgotten a privacy spell I should have been using before now, but now that I remember it can help more."
"Why didn't you tell us they were important before now? That you needed to talk to them at some point?" James asked, "If Lily or Sirius saw you, you would have lost all their trust. Especially Sirius."
"I understand he hates his brother and the choices he has made-" Hermione tried to say.
"No, Mi. He doesn't hate his brother; he loves his brother. It kills him every single day to see him with the snakes, with Snivellus. It's why he torments the greasy git so much, along with what he did to Lily. If he sees you with Reggie, he will shut down and we will have a repeat of the summer he escaped Grimmauld. You shouldn't have talked to them without warning Lily and Sirius."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know. My Sirius barely spoke of his brother when we were at Grimmauld. He only ever said that he had made his choices and was past it. We were never allowed to touch his room or enter it, but we had assumed that was Kreacher's doing. I didn't even know about Regulus until after Sirius died," Hermione spoke, her voice getting quieter with each word, "I never considered why else he hated that house, I thought it was because of his parents but so much more haunted that man than even I knew. I thought I could help her, now I know there was never enough I could have done for him." Hermione wiped the tears running down her cheeks, her friend had been so tortured and she didn't even know half of it.
'Oh, Sirius,' she thought sadly.
She missed her Sirius, of anyone, he would have understood her the most now. He had lost his best friends and everyone he loved when he was thrown into Azkaban. While not all of them had been dead, they had turned on him and believed he was a traitor. They believed he was like his family in the end. The very people he tried so hard not to be. Once he had escaped, he was thrust into a world that moved on without him, surrounded by the next generation, of children warriors. Her Sirius would have comforted her and told her it would be okay and she would believe him. She wouldn't believe anyone else; she wouldn't even believe the Sirius of now.
James watched the witch, as her head bowed, and her shoulders slumped. He stepped forward and she raised her head to look at him, showing him her tear-stained cheeks. His heart shattered seeing the tears he had caused. He did this to her. He should have remembered she was close with older Sirius, that she cared for him too.
"I'm sorry," her voice cracked, he took another step forward and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. He ran his hands up and down her back comfortingly, soothing her as her tears continued to fall. He didn't want to make her cry, and he didn't want to hurt her, but he needed to warn her about Sirius' reaction. His relationship with his brother was fucked up and she needed to know to approach the subject carefully with him.
-oOo-
Regulus walked out of the library at a brisk pace, without looking back. He kept his appearance casual, his pureblood mask in place and his head held high. To everyone, he appeared the perfect Slytherin pureblood prince, when in reality he was desperate to reach his destination, to a private space. He knew Severus was behind him, he would travel at his own pace. Regulus was finding it more difficult with each step to maintain his mask, his brain was working in overdrive at the thought of freedom, of reuniting with Sirius. He could have his brother back. The only regret he ever had at maintaining the act, the only thing to keep him alive and in control in the Slytherin dungeons and Grimmauld.
'Sirius wasn't the only one who wanted to escape.'
Finally, Regulus arrived at the empty classroom that he and Severus had found for their discussions. It was the perfect space for privacy. The classroom was in the dungeons, in the farthest reaches of the castle with a dead-end. No one would be down there unless they were there for that classroom specifically. There was also an alcove included in the room itself, at the very back, and he and Severus could stand in the shadows and speak with his privacy spell without ever being heard. They would see anyone entering and they would have time to disillusion themselves before the intruder reached them.
Regulus entered the room and sat on top of a desk to wait for Severus, who arrived not even five minutes later. The older wizard closed the door, cast a locking charm, and moved to sit beside Regulus on the desk in the alcove. The younger wizard waited for his friend to speak first, and he was not left waiting long.
"No."
"Why?" Regulus knew this would be his friend's response. He would need to convince him.
"She's barmy. Firstly, what the fuck was it that she said to us at first? Even you said she was barmy then," Severus replied, eyeing Regulus, "Secondly, how does she know everything? If she knows all of that, who knows who else knows? It's too dangerous. We cannot be caught trying to get out now. And finally, what Muggleborn calls themselves a mudbl-" Regulus' eyebrows raised at that. Severus had almost slipped and said the one word he had not said in two years. He was very unsure about this witch.
"What does she calling herself a mudblood have to do with anything?" Regulus asked, ignoring Severus' flinch at the word.
"Muggleborns do not call themselves that, therefore she cannot be one. She must be lying. Tricking the Marauders and Lily for some reason," replied Severus.
"Not sure I quite agree with that conclusion, so we will table that one for now," replied Regulus, "However, the other reasons? She talked about Wrackspurts, I said she was barmy because that odd witch, Pandora Selwyn, goes on about them. She's the Ravenclaw that talks to the ghosts and unfortunately she is a neutral Sacred Twenty-Eight, thus my mother insists I try and sway her to our cause," sneered Regulus, "regardless, she's barmy and her imaginary creatures are too. If this Granger witch believes in them, that may be a cause for concern but not enough to not listen to her. Her knowledge is also a concern, how much she knows, how she came about it, and what she plans to do with it. We cannot answer those questions though, without talking to her.
"She also knows how to work us, she knows how Slytherins work. She had information, was not asking for our help without offering help in return, and knew we would have to be cruel in public. Granger knows the game and that is not a bad thing. Also, if she can succeed, if she can actually help us, Sev, you get Evans' friendship back and I get Siri," grinned Regulus. His heart raced at the idea, he felt like he could attempt a Patronus at the thought of being honest and close with his big brother again.
He knew that Sirius only ever saw him staring at the Gryffindor table with hate, but it was envy, jealousy. Regulus saw the easy friendship Sirius had with his Marauders. When he saw Sirius wrap his arms around James or Remus' neck, pull them down and ruffle their hair, it reminded him of when he was eight and his big brother did that to him. Laughed with him.
"How can she help us, Reg? How can a teenage Muggleborn witch save us from the darkest wizard since Grindelwald? We have no idea who she is or where she came from!" snapped Severus.
"Exactly!" laughed Regulus, ignoring Severus' sputtering, "Who knows where! The Dark Lord is interested in her, either because of the Marauders or because she, herself, is important. My guess is the latter, meaning we need to find out why. If we talk to her, we might find that out. She was obviously caught off guard by us, we found her and addressed her, and she looked like a deer-in-Lumos. We can approach her again after we meet the Dark Lord, Pettigrew might have information on her that we can learn tomorrow. Worst case scenario, if we listen to her and we do not like what we hear, we can go to the Dark Lord with the information. We can be rewarded and ask to protect Sirius and Evans."
"Reg, you know that no matter how high we rise in his ranks we will always be servants he can dispose of whenever he pleases. We would not be able to protect them if we need to fight every day to stay alive ourselves," replied Severus, "I do not trust this Granger witch, we need to speak to Lily and Black without her."
"Sev," Regulus said softly, placing a hand on his arm to calm him, "Trust me, she is not a pureblood in disguise. I have studied pureblood rules, society, cultures, and families since I was able to toddle. Granger is not a wizarding name, in any country. She does not hold herself like a pureblood or even speak like one. She simply knows how to play the Slytherin game," Regulus explained.
Regulus wanted to trust her, trust that she would help him. He so badly wanted his brother back. Strangely, the witch had reminded him of his brother from the previous year. He saw the pain in her eyes, a deep feeling of rejection, suffering, and loss. Sirius had been rejected by their parents, tortured by them, and then blasted from the family. Granger had something similar happen. She was holding herself together and appeared normal, she wore her own mask. It had Regulus curious, more curious than just if she could succeed in helping him escape and reunite with his brother. He wanted his own answers on where she came from, why the Dark Lord was interested in her, and how she got so close to his brother after appearing from nowhere.
"I can refuse her as a potions partner, then we will have no way to communicate with her," Severus spoke, Regulus knew his friend could be petty, but Merlin, help him, "I will not work with someone in potions I do not trust and is most definitely a dunderhead."
"There's my sourpuss," chuckled Regulus, teasingly poking Severus in the side, "No one is competent in potions according to you, Sev, and that is because you are a prodigy." Severus blushed at the compliment but said nothing, "I doubt she is as dismal as you believe, or she would not be in your N.E. class. Also, what if she is the answer to protecting Evans?" Snape glared at Regulus.
"Fine, for Lily, I will attempt to listen to her and consider her as a partner in potions. I swear, you better be right about her," exhaled Severus. Regulus felt his body relax as he released tension, he did not realize he had been holding. If they could free themselves from the ranks of Death Eaters and he could reunite with Sirius, maybe his life wouldn't feel so hollow and pointless. "I guess we get the pleasure of informing the rat of his required attendance at the meeting. The coward will likely shit himself," Severus said with a smirk.
"Ha! His stuttering alone will likely result in a Crucio or two. If he manages not to shit himself when kneeling before him for the first time, that will do it. Highly doubt the Dark Lord will do it by his hand, not worthy enough after all," spat Regulus. Severus nodded in agreement as he released the privacy charms.
"Where would the fat lard be right now? If he is already in Gryffindor Tower, we will not be able to inform him tonight," said Severus.
"Too bad for him then, he will just be in for a nasty surprise tomorrow," laughed Regulus, darkly. They left the dungeons and searched the castle for the cowardly rat. Unfortunately for Pettigrew, they did not find him that evening or even the next morning. They, however, thought that was very fortunate for them, they were looking forward to watching the traitorous rat squirm.
It was not until lunch the next day that they were able to approach him, and when they did and informed Peter of his audience before the Dark Lord, he scurried off faster than a rat from a cat. Neither noticed the longing stares they received from Lily Evans and Sirius Black.
-oOo-
Hermione did not move from her position against James' chest, she did not want to step away from the arms wrapped around her. Even after her cries ended, she could not leave his warmth, his comfort. She knew she had to though, she had to step back into reality and away from the wizard that made her feel warm and fuzzy. She finally managed to extricate herself from his arms and look up into his eyes, forgetting that his hazel orbs trapped her every time. She was entranced by the colours in his eyes, the browns, greens, and sunset gold. She was not the only one entranced, James, too, was captivated by her brown eyes, filled with sparkling gold, pools of emotion pouring from them.
Hermione had to remind herself that this was not part of the plan, she planned to befriend the Marauders, save the Marauders, save James, not anything more. She was not supposed to feel something for the wizard. Her heart and brain were battling. Her brain told her that this was not a good idea, she couldn't be distracted, and she couldn't endanger him. But her heart was telling her that he made her feel safe, he made her feel like herself.
He made her feel whole.
James was staring at her, his thoughts and emotions flowing through him. He felt something for this witch, he knew it the moment he laid eyes on her. He couldn't believe such a beautiful and amazing girl would never have been in his life had it not been for her destructive future. He was selfish, so selfish, for being happy that she had to suffer to be here with him. She had to endure such pain and tragedy to be here with him and he was happy about it. He should have been disgusted with himself, but he wasn't, because it brought her to him. It was a harmonious decision inside him, his head wanted her, his heart wanted her, his gut knew she was it, and most definitely his growing hardness wanted her.
'She's been crying and here I am getting a hard-on, what the fuck is wrong with me?' he scolded himself.
'Absolutely nothing, look at her,' he looked down at Hermione and noticed that her tears were gone and the sadness in her eyes had been replaced with dark, dilated pupils.
She wanted him too.
Nothing could have stopped James at that moment, not when he saw the same lust and want he had for her, reflecting at him.
James maintained eye contact, raised his hand, and thrust his fingers in her hair, pulling her head back and pressing his lips firmly against hers in a hard, demanding kiss. He would not be interrupted this time. He had imagined her lips for weeks, had dreamed of how soft her lips were, how good she would taste. And Merlin, his dreams had nothing on her. The reality was better than his wildest Imagination could conjure, and his imagination was rampant. Her lips we soft and pliant against his but demanding as she returned his kiss with the same desperation, he felt for her. He ran his tongue over her bottom lip, his knees almost buckling under him when her tongue touched his. He released a growl as he thrust his tongue into her mouth, plundering her and tasting her. He could live off her essence. Who needs the feast when he could devour her? She tried to fight him for dominance, something he would not allow, not now. He explored her mouth, his hand still fisting her hair, pulling a moan from her every time he tugged. His other hand ran up her side to her jawline, cupping her face. He pulled her bottom lip in between his teeth and bit gently, nibbling on the soft, pink skin, eliciting a moan from her. He swallowed her moans, covering her mouth again.
Hermione was pressed up against him, her chest against his, her hips against his. There was no space between them, Hermione was unable to run her hands up his chest, but she was not complaining because his back was just as hard, she could feel his muscles flexing as he moved. Hermione knew Quidditch was good for something.
When James felt her center grind against his impossible hard member, any thoughts in his brain disappeared. He removed his hand from her hair and ran both hands down to her arse, lifting her easily so she could wrap her legs around his hips. It was exactly how he pictured her in the shower earlier, however instead of pushing her against a wall, he dropped her on a desk. His lips never left hers, unable to release her, stop tasting her. She was his life source now.
Hermione's hands now had the freedom to move down his chest, over his strong forearms shown by the rolled-up oxford shirt sleeves. He was a male Adonis, Hermione couldn't get enough of touching him, exploring him. He didn't even realize that the pants and moans he was hearing were from him, not until he finally released her lips to give her air. He didn't want to stop though; he couldn't stop tasting her. He dragged his lips across her jaw and over to her ear, nibbling on the lobe.
"Mm Mi, you taste so good," he whispered hoarsely into her ear, his tongue grazing the shell.
"James, don't stop," she panted.
He would not disobey his witch. His mouth continued placing open-mouth kisses across her jaw, down to her pulse point which he bit gently and sucked, pulling the loudest moan from her yet. His cock twitched in his boxers at the sound. She was so responsive, so reactive. If this was just kissing, he was incredibly excited at the prospect of fucking her.
James moved his hands from her thighs down past her knees, and gently caressed down to her calves, before returning to her thighs. He continued the movements, feeling the shivers and goosebumps he was provoking from her. His hands moved to the inside of her thighs, playing with the hem of her skirt, and with a little more force than was needed, he pushed her legs apart and stepped further in between her legs. He thrust his hand back into her hair and tipped her head to look up at him again. She looked ravaged and freshly snogged, her lips red and swollen, her eyes glazed.
She was gorgeous.
Slowly he ran his fingers down the front of her shirt, his fingers grazing her breasts until they reached the top button. He began unbuttoning her shirt, painfully slowly for both of them.
"James," Hermione whimpered. His lips dropped to her neck, peppering light kisses over her neck and jawline. Once he had unbuttoned every single button on her oxford shirt he stepped back so he could see her, see how beautiful she was.
When James stepped away and Hermione felt a draft on her bare skin on her chest, everything came crashing back to her. She couldn't.
'No one had ever. No, no,' Hermione panicked. She grasped at her shirt and pulled it against herself, pushing past James to get off the desk, away from him, he couldn't see.
"I-I'm sorry," she stammered, her back turned to him.
"Mi, it's okay," he asked, concern lacing his voice. It took him a few moments to find his voice, he had never had such an erotic and passionate experience with a witch.
"N-nothing," she lied. James moved so he could stand in front of her, he placed a finger under her chin and tilted her face up to look at him. Her eyes were filled with tears again.
"You can tell me anything Hermione," he said softly, "I can tell you a secret of mine if you like?" he offered with a smile. He didn't expect her to tell him because he shared something, but maybe it would help her feel more willing to share. "Here, I'll tell you anyway. I always thought that Remus was mental for being with Lily and only Lily. I never understood commitment when there are so many witches to choose from. Plus, we're so young, how could he possibly know she's it for him?" James explained, "that was until I met you."
Hermione had been hurt hearing his secret, he was admitting that he could never commit to one witch. His interest in her, whatever interest there was, was temporary. She had been building up her wall, her shields when she heard his last words.
"Wh-what?" she stared at him with wide, vulnerable eyes.
"Hermione, from the moment I saw you in Dumbledore's office I cannot get you out of my mind. Not because you saved us, not because you are important to the Order and the war, and certainly not because you know how to end Voldemort. I cannot get you out of my mind because I know you are special, special to me," confessed James, "I went home that night and while I should have been destroyed at the loss of Peter, at the devastation the future had in store for us, I wasn't. That was because of you. Hearing that tragic news was worth it because it brought you to me.
"I had to have Moony explain his relationship to me, how he knew Lily was it. Everything he said made sense. I understood it. I will never forget the words that resonated the most with me."
"What did he say?" Hermione asked quietly.
"He said many things, things we will never repeat for poor Lily's sake," he flashed her a crooked smile, "But the words I will never forget were that Lily felt like home, she was the girl he could go home to. Hermione, I have wanted to kiss you since that day in Diagon, I have tried and unfortunately been interrupted each time, but I took my chance today. I can say now, without a doubt, Hermione Granger, you are what coming home feels like," James said sincerely.
Hermione stared at him blankly, her brain trying to process his confession. He was getting nervous the longer she stayed silent, he was sure her silence was not a good thing.
"Oh, James," she cried, launching herself into his arms, her face pressed against his chest. He still wasn't sure what kind of reaction this was, good or bad. He chose to ignore his feelings for the moment, and comfort her, so he stroked comforting circles on her back until she calmed down.
"Mi? Are you okay?" he asked apprehensively.
"Yes and no," she laughed brokenly, "that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me, so while yes that makes me feel happier than I have in a long time. However, James, it's not a good idea. I have spent the last two weeks fighting what I feel for you, I'm not good for you," Hermione replied, "I am so broken James, so very broken. I am damaged and I am no longer the Hermione Granger I used to be, I don't even know who this Hermione is." She knew her argument was weak; her Remus had tried to use it and she refuted every attempt. Yet here she was doing the same thing, using the same arguments. She didn't deserve love, she was too broken, too scarred, and too ugly for love. "I came here with a mission, I came here to ensure you lived, that Sirius, Remus, Lily, to give you all a future. You deserve someone you can have that future with. I don't think I can ever be that, I will never be enough for you, I might even die in this war. I have no family, no connections, nothing in this world James, I am here to make sure this war ends happier than it did in my time. You should be with someone that isn't broken and ready to die."
James tried to interrupt her with every ridiculous word that came from her mouth. She could never be too broken, too damaged, for love, she was perfect! He wanted to grip her tightly and shake her for thinking she would die, for being ready to die, but he knew that would not help. He needed to convince her that she was worthy, she could build a new family and connections here, and she could give herself everything in this world if she only let herself. He would convince her, if it took him to his last breath, he would do it. He knew it could be done, he watched Lily manage it with Remus.
"Oh, sweet, delicious, Mi, I am a Marauder and I know what is good for me, and you are it," he flashed her a roguish grin. She looked up at him in question, "Mi, everything you said is not enough to deter me. You may believe you are broken, but you are not damaged, you are not ugly, you are not a monster, and you are the furthest from all of those things. You are strong, you are intelligent, and stunning. You deserve love, you deserve happiness, more than anyone. Was Harry undeserving of love because he was the Chosen One?" he asked her.
"Of course not!" Hermione gasped, "He was the most deserving of love!"
"Did he have scars and trauma?" James asked, at her look he smiled, "See, Harry had his issues, and if he was raised by Vernon and Petunia, he had a lot. You gave up your future to be here, Mi, you deserve happiness. Scars do not make you unlovable." Hermione's breath hitched when she felt his fingers grazing her left forearm, she watched as he wrapped his hand around her wrist and repositioned her arm so it was facing up in between them, MUDBLOOD on display. He broke eye contact to look down at the scar, tracing the letters lightly with his finger, "This word disgusts me because of the meaning, but the scar does not disgust me. This scar shows me that you can survive against Bellatrix Lestrange, one of the vilest monsters in this world. You survived Greyback. You survived a war," he whispered, bringing her arm up to meet his lips. He pressed a kiss along each letter, kissing down her arm until he reached her wrist, and pressed a light kiss to her palm, "You are a beautiful warrior, and this is your badge of honour".
Hermione felt the tears in her eyes at his words, she felt her heart expand as he placed each kiss on her raised scar. Ron and Harry couldn't even look at her arm, Remus was like a caged animal when he first saw it, snarling every time he looked at it. Bill Weasley had been the most contained when he saw it and had the least visceral reaction. He understood how people would treat you differently when they saw the scars. He paled and growled at the word but he had maintained his response after seeing it the first time. Hermione was just happy the twins had never seen it. She knew they would have reacted the worst. They would have been devastated for her. She was especially thankful her Sirius never would have seen it.
After Malfoy had called her mudblood for the first time in her second year, they had looked out for her. They took her under their wing and called her 'their little witch'. Most of their detentions with Umbridge had been from trying to protect her. They had almost put a stop to their plan to leave the school when they saw her scar from the Blood Quill, something she would hear nothing about. They couldn't stop it from happening, only get themselves in trouble and hurt, she needed them to escape the school and begin their dream. Harry also needed them; he needed their diversion, and they would not have escaped Umbridge's wrath after that prank if they had stayed. The world needed their inventions and creations.
"James, I-I," she tried to speak but nothing came out as he continued to kiss up her arm, a kiss in her elbow crease, up her bicep to her collarbone, neck, and finally her lips once more. She gave in, James' persistence won as she kissed him back, her arms wrapping around his neck. His hands held her shirt closed over but his fingertips brushed against her sides as he snogged her senseless. He didn't move her back to the desk or against the wall, he made no indication of furthering what they were doing, and he was content holding and kissing her.
"If you're not ready for the next step I understand, but if it's because you think I will be repulsed by any scar or turned off, you have another thing coming Mi," he said softly after breaking their kiss, resting his cheek on top of her head.
"James, there's a lot of my past I haven't told you yet. You learned some today, but there's so much more. There are three people responsible for my trauma, you know about Bellatrix and Greyback, and you might think the third is Voldemort. It's not. I'm not ready to talk about him, about what he did to me, and he also isn't here. I don't think I will cross paths with him while at Hogwarts, so I'd rather not talk about it yet. I'm afraid to bring on more nightmares tonight," she explained to him honestly.
"You can tell me when you're ready, did he leave you a scar?"
"Yes. I survived, barely, but I did," she said these words with some power behind them. James felt her posture straighten and he smiled, she was proud to have survived. He pulled her into a brief but comforting hug and released her, staring into her eyes.
"Mi you are the strongest witch I know, and I've only known you two weeks. You survived and now you get to live," he smiled at her. His words echoed in her head, she had been surviving since she began the Horcrux with Harry, she hadn't been living and now she had a chance to do that. She could live for herself, but to do that she needed to make the world safer for Harry if he ever came into this world.
-oOo-
James and Hermione tidied themselves up so they were presentable and didn't look like they had just ravaged each other in an empty classroom. James was sad to see her no longer look disheveled, she had looked delectable that way. James quickly checked the map to see if Sirius, Remus, and Lily were alone, which they were not. The boys were in their dorm with Peter and Lily was alone in her room.
"I know you need to talk to Sirius and Lily but Peter's there."
"Oh. Is he an early sleeper?" she asked. They needed to speak tonight, if anyone saw her talking to Regulus and told Sirius, based on James' reaction, it would not be good.
"Hmm this might be a good time to try a prank of mine," he said thoughtfully. They were walking towards the tower side by side, their hands brushing against each other as they walked. He desperately wanted to reach for it and hold her hand the whole way back, but he didn't want to push her too fast, even though hand-holding seemed so innocent compared to what they had just been doing.
"What prank is that?"
"Your twins inspired me with their sweets, so I came up with Sticky Toffee," he shrugged.
Hermione looked up at him with slight surprise, she knew James was intelligent and a successful prankster, but she had just told him about that a week ago and now he had his prototype.
"Sticky Toffee?" she asked slowly.
"Yeah, you eat it, and your skin gets coated in the sticking charm, whatever you're holding or sitting on, you stick to it. Lasts about twelve hours I think," Hermione was very impressed with the magic behind such a sweet. Merlin, help Mrs. Weasley and Professor McGonagall, the twins growing up in a world with the Marauders? It would be anarchy.
Before Hermione could ask him how he managed to apply the charm to the sweets, they arrived at the portrait hole. She wanted to ask him all about it because she knew the twins had problems with the timing of their sweets, maintaining the charms long enough for shelf life, and even the flavour changing with each charm. She remembered the nosebleed nougats were the most dangerous during the testing phase, George had ended up in the hospital wing from excessive blood loss. She was fascinated by the magic and wished she was able to help that year, but it had been her OWL year and she had to do well. With James' creation, she could feel closer to her twins and her memories of them.
"I'm going to go up there and find a way to convince Peter to eat it," said James, heading toward the boy's dorm, "wait for us and we'll go into the Head Dorm to get Lily." Hermione nodded and watched him leave as she sat down on the couch in front of the fire. She let her mind go blank as she stared into the flames, an escape from her overthinking mind. She could feel happiness trying to worm its way in, could feel herself letting it burrow in between her guilt, fear, and sadness. As much as she believed she didn't deserve it, she chose to ignore it for now, she was about to have a very arduous conversation.
James left Hermione and walked up to his old dorm and found the boys sitting atop their beds, his empty for the first time in seven years.
"Fellow Marauders," he announced himself, pushing his way into the room.
"Prongs! You missed it! Wormy over here tried to ask out Stevens, and somehow managed to get slapped by Stevens and McLaggen," laughed Sirius. James glanced toward Remus for confirmation, which he received via an amused smile. He looked at Peter who was staring at them with a scowl.
"McLaggen? Really, Wormy? That girl has the most vulgar mouth, what could you have said to her?" he snickered, setting himself down on his old bed.
"What I said was nothing compared to what I've heard you say to girls," replied Pettigrew. James and Sirius glanced at one another, they knew why they could say what they did to girls because they were desirable. Peter Pettigrew wasn't exactly considered handsome, he didn't impress anyone with his magic, and he was not confident in himself at all. Also, now that they knew the truth about him, they could see him as a creepy wizard, he made witches feel uncomfortable around him.
"Well, most of the girls I say inappropriate things to I've already snogged, or more," answered Sirius.
"Same here, Wormy you start by charming them, not by talking dirty to them. A girl who jumps on that before a snog, well I worry about what you might catch," said James.
"I do not have input, I started dating before dirty words were in my vocabulary," Remus piped up. James laughed along with Sirius while Peter continued to glower on his bed.
"Come on, Petey, better luck next time," smiled James, he had to get Peter to relax a bit, being mad at them would not help slip him a sweet. Peter visibly relaxed before them and plastered a smile on.
"Yeah, you're right. I still like Mary, maybe I'll ask her to Hogsmeade," pondered Peter. James chose that moment to take a trip to the bathroom, and when he made his way back to bed, he let the Sticky Toffee fall out of his pocket near Peter. He sat down on his bed and asked Remus about something from class that day, waiting for Peter to notice the sweet. Peter waited for there to be a lull in the conversation to bring up Hermione.
"So, that Hermione, she barely talked to you today after last night. What the hell happened?"
"Mate, we told you; she had a rough go of it. She lost her family, McGonagall took her in and James' mum offered to help her since old Minnie has never been a mother. She joined us in Diagon, and we got to know her. She was kind of homeschooled, she loves books, and she is very passionate about fair treatment for all beings and creatures. She and Lily are getting on great, both being Muggleborn and all," Remus explained.
"Aye, and she didn't talk to us today because of her dream last night. Her nightmares are bad Petey, she relives whatever happened to her, and she won't speak of it. Even we don't know and we don't ask," said Sirius, "All we know is that she had two male best friends, prankster twin friends, and a witch that was like her younger sister. That helps her get along with us, we remind her of her friendships with them."
"So Petey, that means you need to stop asking questions. That nightmare last night, she couldn't wake up, and when she did, she felt weak. You remember Remus before he told us about his furry little problem before he and Lily got together, he didn't think he deserved friends or happiness and now look at him, the happiest bloke we know. It's the same for Hermione, she's where Remus was in second year, we just want to help her the same way," said James.
James was hoping that a direct approach, telling him to stop asking questions, would put a stop to his incessant questioning. If he kept asking and kept pushing, James might get angry and say something he didn't mean to. Peter nodded in understanding, although James could see the resentment in Peter's eyes from being told to back off and leave her alone. It wasn't even five minutes before Peter's eyes caught the lone Toffee sitting on the floor, he bent down and scooped it up, and popped it in his mouth before laying back on his bed hands behind his head. Once he finished chewing the Toffee he tried to move but his hands were stuck to the back of his head. He even tried to lift his head, but that too was stuck, he couldn't move any part of his body.
"Uh, boys, I'm stuck," he called out loudly.
"What do you mean you're stuck? You're lying on your bed, Wormy," snorted Sirius.
"Oh no, no, no, Peter did you eat a Toffee by any chance?" James said acting panicked, patting down his pockets repeatedly.
"Yeah, I found one on the floor, why?" Peter asked cautiously.
"I wanted to show you a prank I came up with, I didn't realize it fell out of my pocket. It's a Sticky Toffee, you eat it, and a sticky charm covers your body. I'm afraid you're stuck Petey," explained James trying to hold in the laughter.
"What?! How long does it last?" he yelled.
"Um well you see, I just made them, I tested one on myself before Hogwarts, and it was about twelve hours. I don't think my modification worked though, this was a test to take it down to six hours," said James, "I'm really sorry Petey, I didn't know it fell out of my pocket."
"What happened to no pranking fellow Marauders?" quipped Peter.
"Well, it was unintentional Peter, I brought it to show you, unfortunately, you are getting to see it in action, firsthand," replied James, "Just go to sleep, Peter, it'll wear off by lunch tomorrow, at least. Minnie will understand. I'm heading to bed too," James signaled to Sirius and Remus that he needed them to follow him to his dorm. They both bid Peter goodnight and followed James to the common room where they found Hermione staring into the flames, unmoved from where James left her. He walked up to her and placed a hand gently on her shoulder; however, she remained lost in thought. He took her hand and guided her to the Head Dorms, Remus and Sirius following and they found Lily on one of the couches.
"So, I got rid of Peter for now. We have a total of twelve hours to speak freely without worrying about the rat," laughed James.
"How did you manage that?" asked Lily.
"Sticky Toffee I invented; he's stuck to the bed. Plus, extra safety measures I procured this evening include," as he spoke, he pulled out the parchment, "the Marauders Map!" Remus and Sirius whooped in delight at having their priceless creation returned to them, "I don't know why we didn't try and steal it back before; it was relatively easy. Although searching through our files was ridiculous, Sirius your drawer was the largest."
"It makes sense, I'm positive that I'm ahead in detentions by fifteen," smirked Sirius in satisfaction.
"You're proud of your detention number?" asked Lily incredulously.
"Lils, I don't recommend you get into this discussion. I had it in fifth year, I ended up listening to a two-hour lecture on the requirement of pranksters and troublemakers, along with the need to fulfill records and gain a reputation and be forever remembered within the school," Remus explained, "So, I don't recommend asking him why he does a lot of things."
"I can show you my record book Lils, it has my detentions, my broom cupboard tally, and pranks performed," said Sirius proudly.
"Broom cupboard tally? You're incorrigible Sirius Black, it's no wonder Marlene keeps saying no," Lily replied. Sirius slumped dejectedly in his chair at being told off. James took Hermione's hand and squeezed it, and leaned in, whispering in her ear, finally pulling her from her thoughts.
"Oh, hi," she said to them awkwardly, "Sorry, but I needed to talk to you all, and admit that I didn't tell you everything during the meeting in Dumbledore's office."
"Kitten, you shared a lot with us on that day and had just come from a battle, I think we can understand you forgetting to tell us something," said Sirius comfortingly.
"This was something you all deserved to know, but-" she took a breath to steady herself for the conversation ahead, "but I had already dropped a lot on you. Learning about Pettigrew, and your future, I decided to spare you further information for another day. Looking back, I may have made the wrong decision, now I am forced to hurt you twice rather than once," she explained sadly.
"Hermione, you made the decision, I'm sure it was the right one, what do you want to tell us?" asked Remus kindly.
"Let me start at the beginning, it might not make much sense at first," Hermione started, "In my time at Hogwarts, our Potions professor was a cold, sometimes cruel, Slytherin-favouring man. He would dock points for blinking too much, breathing too loudly, he would insult the students, and he would use student familiars as test subjects in his classroom. He was the most disliked professor in the school. Harry always believed the worst in him, and always jumped to conclusions regarding him, even though Dumbledore defended him and insisted he was trustworthy at every turn. We couldn't understand why, but he listened. He sacrificed everything, and pretended he was the evil wizard when in reality, he was brave, he was loyal, and most of all he was a hero to his very end," Hermione swallowed the lump in her throat, she was about to hurt Lily, "Our potions professor was Severus Snape." Lily's breath caught in her throat.
"Snivellus? Brave, loyal, hero, likely," scoffed Sirius.
Hermione knew their feud was deep, deeper than even she knew if it was true about Severus' friendship with Regulus. Snape and Sirius hated each other from their childhood into their adulthood, even before they died, they still hated one another. Snape had been ecstatic at the thought of handing over Sirius and Remus to the Dementors, not even acknowledging that Pettigrew was alive in front of him. She knew Snape was a complicated man, with deep emotional scars, he made terrible decisions but in the end, he did what was right. He died to protect Harry.
"Severus Snape was our potions professor yes. He was cruel because he was a double agent, he could not be kind to the children of Blood Traitors, to Muggleborn students, to Harry. He hated Harry, hated him so much because Harry looked so much like James, a wizard he hated in his youth. Snape was an angry man. He lost his best friend in an argument that he sorely regretted. He let a word slip through and lost everything because of it," Hermione explained, Lily sniffling as she remembered the rage on her friend's face when he had screamed it at her. She could remember the heartbreak on his face when she told him to leave her alone, that she could never forgive him. "As much as Snape hated Harry, he still protected him because he was Lily's son. He had joined the Death Eater ranks after the fallout, something he immediately regretted. However, once you are recruited, there is no escape. Always fighting for survival by providing information or following orders without fail.
"He submitted himself to the fate he had sealed for himself, that is until he realized the consequences of one piece of information he provided. He was the Death Eater that heard the prophecy and told his master, and once he realized that Voldemort was after Lily and her son, he switched sides and became a spy for Dumbledore. Snape made Dumbledore swear to protect Lily, James, and Harry, and when he failed, Snape was furious. He vowed to protect Harry after that, the last living piece of Lily Evans. And he did. He sacrificed so much to achieve that goal. Snape accepted being seen as the bad guy, Dumbledore made him swear to take the role of his murderer, to save Draco Malfoy's soul.
"After that, our entire side believed him to be a traitor and he accepted that position with his head high. Meanwhile, he was fighting for us, for Harry, the entire time. He died at the hands of Voldemort requesting to find Harry himself, so he could warn him. Snape was dying when we found him and as he gave us his memories, the last request he made was to look into Harry's eyes, into Lily's eyes," Hermione finished. Lily was sobbing against Remus, her friend, her very first friend that taught her about magic, he gave up his life for her son. He may have disliked him because he looked like James, but he sacrificed his life for him. She needed to find her Sev and finally forgive him. She would not let him go down that path again, not one filled with such darkness.
Sirius, James, and Remus sat in silence, ashamed of how they treated the Slytherin. He may be a greasy git, but no coward would have done what he did. Snape had protected the son of a Marauder while a Marauder had been the reason that boy was an orphan.
"I will admit he was still a git, he was cruel, he was Neville's boggart after all," Hermione spoke again, "but he protected us throughout Hogwarts. He's the teacher I set on fire by the way, I thought he was the one jinxing Harry's broom, but it wasn't, he was trying to break the jinx. In third year, when Remus joined the staff, even though he hated him from their Hogwarts days, he brewed a potion for…Remus…" Hermione trailed off, "Jesus Christ!" she cried, jumping off the couch, her eyes wide.
"Who is Jesus Christ, Lils?" Sirius whispered to Lily in Hermione's silence.
"He's like Merlin to muggles," Lily giggled followed by a sniffle, "son of the Creator and every culture has a Creator with their own rules. Some of those cultures don't believe in Jesus and it leads to wars and muggles killing each other over the rules." Sirius stared at her with comically large eyes.
'Muggles kill over some Merlin-like Jesus and whether or not he exists?' Sirius shook his head. He enjoyed muggle music and rock and roll, from the limited amount he had heard from Lily, but he was planning on exploring more after graduating. Now he might just stick with their music and fashion, 'Well, wizards kill over blood and alliances, even their children. Guess all us humans are fucked.'
"Hermione, if you're done screaming for muggle Merlin, might you explain what just happened?" Sirius called over to Hermione, bringing her attention back to them. She had gotten lost in her head trying to remember the instructions for Wolfsbane. She remembered everything thankfully, all those hours paid off.
"Wait, what? Muggle Merlin?" Hermione chose to ignore the animagus Marauder and turned to the one she needed to speak to, "Oh, Remus, I am so sorry! I had something very important to share with you and I completely forgot. I was going to write the list of ingredients today and give them to Dumbledore, he would be able to retrieve everything I would have needed, and I forgot," Hermione said sadly, "I promise I will do it tomorrow."
"Hermione, what are you talking about?" Remus asked with a confused look.
"Oh! Yes, I should explain I guess," Hermione said with a smile. She sat down beside James again, perched on the end of the seat staring at Remus, "In my time, there is a potion, a very difficult potion, that I spent many hours learning how to make. Although it is not a cure for lycanthropy, it allows you to keep your mind after transformation," the words were barely out of Hermione's mouth when Remus barreled into her and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, burying his face into her curls.
"Thank you," he breathed, repeating it over and over as he held her, tears running down his cheeks.
James watched his best friend hug the witch that had changed their lives so much. He was amazed by her, everything she had done for them and was still willing to do, it proved once again how big her heart was. She was going to help his best mate remember their nights, have control, and have fun with them in their forms rather than being thrown into the dark corner of the wolf's mind, left alone. James did feel a little jealous seeing Remus' face nuzzled into Hermione's neck, breathing in her curls, his lips so close to her skin, but one look at Lily and the affection on her face had him reconsider. Jealousy didn't belong between them, he knew Remus would never take Hermione, and he would never leave Lily. James knew it was his insecurities making him jealous, they weren't a couple yet and until that time he would feel jealous whenever another wizard touched her. He would make sure Hermione never saw it, he didn't want her feeling awkward around him.
Once Remus felt more composed, he pulled back from the hug and placed a kiss on Hermione's cheek with a final thank you. He moved back to his spot beside Lily and pulled her into his side, who then kissed him on the cheek.
"Thank you, thank you for even thinking of brewing it, thank you for this," he repeated over and over as he cried.
"I maybe should have saved that for the end, it's about to get dreary again," laughed Hermione uncomfortably, James reached out and grabbed her hand squeezing it. This was going to be bad; he knew it. He looked toward Sirius and saw him sitting quietly in his chair, he was silent after watching Remus cry against Hermione. He was never good at displaying his emotions, let alone sharing them, but he was deeply touched by Hermione's promise to their friend. He appreciated everything she had done for them just by being here. Hermione took a deep steadying breath and looked up at Sirius, she didn't want to replace those shining happy grey eyes with eyes filled with heartbreak. She had no choice, though. He had to know. She looked down at her hands and began speaking.
"Snape was not the only person that we learned the truth about after their death. The night Dumbledore died, he and Harry had been away to retrieve a Horcrux, however, Harry discovered after the funeral that it was fake. Sometime in the past, someone had stolen the real Horcrux and placed a copy with a note inside of it. A note that stated the writer was a Death Eater that had discovered Voldemort's secret and he intended to destroy it to bring an end to his master.
"The author of the note indicated that he knew he would be dead before Voldemort discovered it. He died in that cave, pulled down by Inferi," Hermione looked up to Sirius again, locking eyes, "The note was signed by R.A.B." Sirius let out a rattling breath, tears forming his eyes, his mouth set into a straight line.
Regulus Arcturus Black.
His baby brother.
"When we were in Grimmauld we figured out who R.A.B. was and called on Kreacher. He told us everything, that when Voldemort requested the use of a House Elf, Regulus offered Kreacher. Voldemort used him to test his enchantments and left Kreacher in the cave to die, but Regulus had made him promise to return home and he could not disobey his master. When Regulus learned of what had been done to his elf, to a member of his family, to someone under Black protection. When he discovered the reason behind the assignment, that Voldemort had made a Horcrux, Regulus chose to finally take a stand and choose his own path.
"In his bedroom which had been left untouched, I found his old journals. I feel bad now that he is here and alive and likely just wrote many of the passages that I read, I was curious in my time. He wanted to leave with you, he never wanted to stay in that house Sirius. He was sorted into Slytherin so he could survive in his house and maintain control as the Black scion, he maintained the mask of the pureblood aristocrat. He was surrounded by snakes in the snake pit and to survive he did what he had to. He thought you hated him too, thought you believed him to be just like your parents.
"His last entry before going to the cave was that a Black should bow to no man, kneel for no man, and to be brave like Sirius. He instructed Kreacher to leave him, to take the Horcrux and destroy it, and Kreacher left as ordered but he could never destroy the locket," Hermione finished. Sirius was shaking, trembling as the truth washed over him.
Blacks bow for no man.
Blacks kneel for no man.
Brave like Sirius.
Brave like-
Sirius fell forward onto the floor and screamed, a gut-wrenching sob that shattered Hermione's heart. His fingers tangled into the carpet as his fingers scratched at the ground. He was curled into a ball, his knees under his chest, his mouth open wide as sorrowful sobs tore through him, tears streaming down his face.
James' hand left Hermione's as he ran to his brother, ran to wrap his arms around his best friend. Remus joined him and together they held Sirius as he cried for his brother. It was so much worse than when he arrived at Potter Manor last summer, neither of them had ever heard such pain from Sirius before.
Hermione turned away from the scene, wanting to give the boys their privacy, while Lily just watched on with a sad smile. Hermione decided to think through every piece of information she had and what else she knew. She couldn't forget anything important again, she couldn't imagine doing this to any of them again. Although, she doubts there would ever be anything as devastating as what she just told Sirius.
She considered telling them about Order deaths, such as James' parents, but she could prevent those, so they didn't need to know. Regulus and Snape's stories were pertinent to her mission, while she would prevent their deaths, they were already in the Death Eater ranks and she needed Regulus to retrieve the locket. Her adventures weren't critical to her mission and had no bearing in the past unless they just wanted stories about her life in general. Sirius already knew he was sent to Azkaban, and Remus knew he was left alone, although she did not inform him about his wife and child. What would be the point? He would never date Tonks, meaning Teddy would never be born. Another child to never exist along with Harry. James knew he and Lily died and left Harry as an orphan. They witnessed Voldemort resurrect, they watched Pettigrew take part, and now they knew about Remus' Wolfsbane. Hermione was sure that was everything important and she wouldn't be dropping any more surprises on them.
It was a long while later when Sirius' cries quieted, he sat up and the boys gave him tight embraces and words of encouragement, which turned into some light-hearted jabs. Sirius pulled himself together and clapped both boys in the back as thanks, he sat back into his seat and made sure he looked like his normal, composed self. After everyone was seated and comfortable again, Hermione launched into her story of running into the Slytherins in the library and speaking with them. She told them everything that was said and apologized for not telling them sooner.
"Kitten, you made the right decision," Sirius spoke, "That was a lot, and if you had told me that on top of Peter?" he gave a humourless laugh, "I was already obliterated that night, had I known about Reggie, I would have drank myself to death." His words, although painful to hear, unraveled the tight knot of guilt in Hermione's stomach.
"We can't do anything until after they speak to You-Know-Who," Remus said thoughtfully before snorting, "Peter's going to shit himself when they tell him."
"Well, as much as I likely won't sleep tonight, I am going to bed," announced Sirius, clapping his hands on his thighs. He stood up and wished them all a good night, leaving the head dorms. Remus was going to follow him and sleep in his dorm, he had been returning to his dorm when he heard Hermione screaming, but Lily convinced him to stay with her. Hermione and James were left alone in the head dorm common room.
"I should go too, I have a lot of planning to do with Dumbledore tomorrow," Hermione started to say before James silenced her with a kiss.
"Shh, no, you should stay," he said each word between a light kiss. Her whole body was on fire at his touch, his hands gently stroking her cheeks, moving to bury in her curls. She could hear her breath coming out in breathy pants.
"Mm James, it's late, I should go," she tried again. He gripped her hair and gently tugged to the side as he kissed down her jaw and neck, his teeth lightly scraping against her skin.
"I think you should stay, not for this, but you slept better after I was with you," he said quietly sitting back to look at her, to show her that he wasn't just after one thing, "I will refrain from kissing you or trying anything else if you promise to sleep here, where I know you are safe."
"James, I'm safe in my dorm."
"I'm not saying you're not safe, it's just," he let out a shaky breath, "Hermione last night was terrifying. I have never been so scared before. We couldn't wake you; we tried calling out your name, shaking you, I was afraid Sirius would hurt you with how hard he shook you. It wasn't until I had my arms around you and I whispered in your ear that you were safe that you seemed to be breaking free from the nightmare. I don't ever want you to fall that deep into a nightmare again and if my presence can help with that, if it will keep you safe in your sleep, then please let me.
"You are not weak because of your nightmares, I don't believe that for one minute. You are the strongest witch I have ever met and I just want to help you how I can when you need it," James said honestly. He looked into her eyes so she could see the sincerity behind his words, he hoped she could see the awe he had for her there too.
"Okay," she answered quietly after a very long pause.
James gave her a beaming smile, wrapped her hand in his, and led her to his room. He closed the door, set her down on the bed, and walked over to his chest of drawers. He pulled out a pair of boxers and a plain white t-shirt for her to wear to bed. He kept his back turned as she changed and when he heard her throat clear he turned to look at her. He felt his mouth go dry at the sight of her in his clothes. As hard as it was (pun intended) he was able to maintain his composure and fill his mind with disgusting images to prevent her from seeing evidence of what she did to him. She climbed into bed and he looked at her as he unbuttoned his shirt and dropped it off his shoulders, followed by undoing his belt and letting his trousers fall to the ground. He was left standing shirtless in his boxers, and Hermione wanted to remember the image forever.
His skin was lightly tanned, surprising Hermione for being in Scotland, but she didn't overanalyze as her eyes roamed his body. Hermione gulped at the broad shoulders, the rippling muscles on his chest, his flat, muscled stomach, his large, bulging arms, and strong, lean legs. Hermione had always been with slimmer, leaner men, men that favoured playing Seeker. Viktor was her bulkiest man, or at least he was. James Potter was larger and taller than Viktor. He was a chaser, muscles built from holding onto a broomstick with just his legs as his arms worked the Quaffle.
James could see the desire in her eyes, he knew he was attractive, and seeing Hermione's dilated pupils only increased his need for her but he promised her he wouldn't. He promised her nothing else would happen tonight. He walked around the bed, pulled the duvet back, and climbed in behind her, wrapping his arms around her securely. He could smell lavender, parchment, and honey surrounding him, intoxicating him.
James pulled her back against her chest so her back was against his chest and took a deep inhale of her hair. He could already feel the comfort of sleep calling for him, her fragrance and warmth helping him fall asleep faster. He could get used to this.
"Good night, Mi," he whispered, placing a kiss on her temple.
"Good night, James," she sighed contentedly, falling into a dreamless sleep.
-oOo-
A/N: Please let me know what you think of this chapter. I made quite a few changes in this one for any original readers. I wanted to bring more emotion to Regulus and Sirius' relationship, Regulus was just a child afterall and he misses his big brother. I hope I managed to complete my task of making you feel strongly for the characters, I find the Marauder time so tragic and want to convey how I feel about the original timeline, it was heartbreaking and Hermione is there to fix it.
I also recommend the playlist Dramione|Dark&Angsty by Sneha on Spotify, it pairs wonderfully when reading fanfics, when a song matches up perfectly it gives me goosebumps. I wrote the scene where Hermione tells Sirius about Reggie while listening to My Blood by Ellie Goulding. Imagining Sirius thinking of his brother, imagining him alone in the cave, the music gave me chills.
Please favourite, follow, and review! I appreciate every single reader and super appreciate anyone who reviews. It means a lot!