Okay! Here we go. This chapter has some of the key components that inspired this story. I'm worried about how it's going to be received because this is such a controversial area in the FanFic community. People either love it or hate it. Ack! Well, if you write on this website, you gotta be prepared for some flames. I only hope my fire extinguisher is big enough... Seriously though, I could be losing some readers here. I hope you like it! ^-^
Shadow slowly became aware, but it felt dreamlike. His first impression was of green, but not just any green either. This was a deep, absolute, living green that held him gently. It was warm and his form felt weightless. He drifted there for some time, afraid to move. There was a storm raging at the edges of his awareness, and he was worried he could break whatever barrier was currently keeping it at bay. He'd been hurting for so long, he didn't want to hurt anymore.
Tears welled up in his eyes. It didn't matter. Maria was gone. That would always hurt no matter what he did. That pain had followed him even to this place.
Hurt?
Shadow opened his eyes again to the green of life that surrounded him. It was bright but somehow it did not hurt his eyes. He was fairly certain this consciousness had just asked him something, but it did not feel like words. It was more an impression of tender concern for his well being.
Hurt? The question came again, a little more insistently this time.
"Yes," Shadow said as the tears finally overflowed, spilling from his eyes. "Yes, it hurts."
I heal.
Shadow shook his head, seeing again the red mist that had surrounded Maria as she fell. "There are some things that cannot be healed," he said, sad and angry all at once.
The green around him seemed almost to coil up around him, almost like a horse gathering itself to jump. Such power. Shadow suddenly felt very small, like a leaf caught in a great river on the verge of a waterfall.
I heal everything.
Shadow felt himself swept away by the surge of power.
Maria smiled with grim satisfaction even as she felt the artificial gravity overwhelm her remaining strength and she fell. They wouldn't be able to hurt Shadow anymore. A deep ache in her chest made it hard to breathe and she knew she was dying. Somehow, she'd always known this was how it would end. It didn't matter that it was a bullet instead of the sickness finally claiming victory. This was always how it was going to end.
The smack of the metal floor drove the breath out of her lungs, and a shock of pain ripped through her face as her chin hit the floor. It was cold suddenly. Was it always this dark? The emergency lighting must have been going out… or… no. Her body was still trying to live and it was taking oxygen from her eyes to preserve her brain... Silly body...
The pain faded out, and it took the smell of blood, gunpowder and smoke with it. A green light flooded her senses. It was funny. This didn't feel like death. On some level, she'd always thought death would be dark and cold, or maybe just… nothing. This was warm and felt more like life than anything Maria had ever experienced, even when her sickness had only been mild. It defied her expectations.
Not death.
The living green around her seemed to speak as it enveloped her in warmth. It had been so cold before. How could she not be dead though? She'd felt the bullets tear into her chest, the hot sticky warmth of her own blood soaking the front of her dress, and now it didn't hurt at all. Not even the aches and pains of the sickness had followed her to wherever this was, and hadn't she hit her face on the ground when she fell? That was gone too.
Not death. It said again. You are needed.
Maria gasped as an image of Shadow lying on cold stone sprang to her mind. There was such an impression of pain with it. Her Shadow was hurting and he needed her. Had his pod crashed? Was he injured? Sick somehow?
Will you help him?
"Of course I will!" Maria said. "But please. How can I get to him?"
I will bring you there, daughter. Be at ease.
The warmth coiled around her. Shadow often hugged her the same way. It turned her, setting her on her feet, and when the light withdrew, she was comforted to see that it did not go away completely. It seemed to condense itself into a large glowing gem, hovering and spinning slowly in the air before her. The air gained a little chill, and she rubbed her arms, already missing the wonderful warmth that had cradled her so gently before.
There was a world around her. Stars winked at her from above and there was a rough sort of ground beneath her feet. Cold air caressed her cheeks, almost like the vents from the Ark, but it was less consistent. Besides the living gem in front of her, the world was dark.
She began to look around. The stuff beneath her feet looked like the stone Shadow had been lying on. Maria turned in a quick circle. There were two forms lying on the stone on either side of her. One was unmistakably Shadow, with his red and black quills.
"Shadow!" she cried and rushed to his side. Using the light of the gem, she carefully examined him for wounds but couldn't see anything immediately wrong. Cautiously setting a hand on his shoulder, she began to trace his limbs for broken bones and was relieved to find nothing wrong. Testing his ribs had the same result.
"Shadow wake up," she said, shaking him a little.
He moaned, ears going flat, but otherwise did not stir. Why was he unconscious? Was his chaos energy depleted? His inhibitor rings were still in place. She looked around desperately. There wasn't a scrap of technology anywhere in sight. How was she going to test his levels?
Maria gathered her friend into her arms so his head rested on her legs. The solution would be to go have a look around and see if there was anything in this darkened world that would be of use, but she did not want to leave her friend here looking so vulnerable. She could tell from his expression that he was in a good deal of pain.
"Hey!" a gruff voice from the darkness called.
Maria startled and tried to see the person who had spoken. It did not sound like anyone on the Ark.
"Who's there?" she asked.
"I'm the one who should be asking that!" the stranger growled. "And how did you get here? What are you even doing here?"
"I-!"
What was she doing here?
"I don't know," she admitted. "One of the GUN soldiers found us and shot me, then there was this… well, I think it was all the gem. It was a green light just like the gem. It put me here because Shadow was in trouble. I think it wants me to help him before I die."
The being advanced into the circle of light cast by the gem. Even in the green light, she could tell he had red fur. He looked at her wonderingly for a moment. "What are you even talking about?" he demanded. The creature had impressive looking spikes on his knuckles.
Maria was starting to get nervous. Shadow was unconscious and wouldn't be able to protect her if something happened. But wait, she was dead anyway, right? Did it matter?
"How do you even know Shadow, of all people?" the creature asked, glancing pointedly at the way she was holding her friend. "He isn't exactly a saint. I got the impression that he doesn't even like little kids."
Maria pulled Shadow closer hunching protectively around him. "He's my friend," she said firmly.
The red creature looked like he was going to argue with her, but something changed his mind. Instead, keeping a wary eye on her, he crossed to the gem and set a hand on it. After a few seconds of quiet, something in his posture relaxed.
"Well, according to the Master Emerald, you're supposed to be here," he said somewhat grudgingly. "You're a welcome presence even. What's your name, kid?"
"Maria," she said, hoping this was an improvement. "What's yours?"
"Knuckles the Echidna," he said.
Shadow moaned suddenly and stirred a little, his head lolling from side to side. His eyelids fluttered as if he was coming to.
Maria looked back up at Knuckles. "Please," she said. "The Master Emerald, it told me he's in pain, but I can't tell what's wrong. I have to help him!"
"So that's why you're here," Knuckles said and approached to kneel down nearby. "Chaos, he's waking up."
Shadow moaned again, sounding like he was on the edge of vomiting. His eyes fluttered open, but they rolled in an alarming way as if he couldn't focus. They were also glazed over with pain and strangely bright with panic. "Maria? Maria! You're here! You're actually here!" he called weakly, desperately trying to focus on her face. "It hurts! Everything keeps spinning. Please! I just want to be with you!"
"Shadow," she crooned, stroking his velvety dark fur. "Shadow, I'm here. I'm going to try to help. I promise."
"I miss you," Shadow said, breath beginning to hitch and sob out of him. His breath was getting more and more labored, and he couldn't seem to keep his eyes open anymore. "I miss you so much. It hurts."
"I know," she said stroking the soft fur at the base of his ears. "I know. I'm so sorry, Shadow. Breathe for me, alright? Knuckles, what's wrong with him? If I had my equipment, I'd be able to figure this out, but I don't. Did you see what happened?"
"No, but I do know what's wrong," Knuckles said. "His chaos energy was scrambled. Chaos is uncooperative on a good day, but this is an entire new level. It's like… pandemonium."
"So, it's too much," Maria said, feeling calmer now that she was getting some relevant information.
"I guess you could say that," Knuckles said thoughtfully. "The Master Emerald should have been able to draw it out of him, but there's something holding back the flow."
"Alright, we have a solution, but there's a hold up," Maria said, mind racing through possibilities. She'd just had an intimate encounter with the power that resided in the gem, that wasn't going to be the issue, so it had to be something with Shadow. Her eyes fell on his inhibitors… Oh. That would do it.
"You look like you've got something," Knuckles said.
"It could be dangerous," Maria admitted. "I think we need to take off his inhibitor rings."
Knuckles started a little and seemed to kick himself at the obvious solution. "I should have thought of that," he said. He moved over to the other crumpled form, setting his large hands with surprising gentleness on the blue fur. "Let me get him out of here first."
The other being stirred slightly. "Knuckles?" a weak voice asked.
"Nothing to worry about," Knuckles assured him quietly. "I just need to move you a bit, that's all."
"Okay," the other said trustingly and allowed Knuckles to lift him.
"Do what you've gotta do," Knuckles told her and began to move away.
Shadow had fallen into a pained daze, breathing through his teeth in short hissing gasps, eyes clamped shut.
Maria reached for the first inhibitor ring, clicking it open. She slid it off his wrist, and Shadow gave a sharp gasp, his mouth working as his lungs seized. He began to writhe. She'd seen him do this before as he felt his control slipping. Was this the right decision? She clicked off the second one, and Shadow whined, his back arching off the ground as he struggled. He was too weak to get away from her.
"No!" he protested desperately. "I can't- I can't hold it back! Please! You're all in danger!"
"Oh, Shadow!" Maria said, her heart breaking for him. "It's going to be alright!"
"Maria! Maria please!" he pleaded desperately. "Don't let me kill anyone!"
Maria clicked off the last inhibitor on Shadow's ankles and hurried away from him, her heart aching for her friend as he began to scream, writhing on the ground as he desperately tried to contain the storm of addled chaos. This was too much like the time the scientists had decided to test his chaos reserves. The resulting explosion of chaos energy had killed three people. Hot tears ran down her cheeks as she sobbed. Now she was doing this to him.
All at once and with a final heart wrenching cry of agony, the chaos exploded forth in a stream of wild colors that made Maria feel sick just looking at it. She collapsed to the ground in a wave of dizziness and buried her face into her arm, clutching tightly at Shadow's still warm inhibitor rings. There was a great howl of sound and fury that lasted a good thirty seconds until all at once, it was over and the only thing she could hear afterwards was Shadow's rasping breaths as he struggled to breathe.
She lifted her head. Shadow was flat on his back, expression tense and desperate. She hurried to his side and began to put his inhibitors back into place.
"Shadow?" she asked.
His breathing steadied a little, and he opened his eyes, they were much clearer. "You're still here, did I hurt anyone?" he said desperately. "Don't go. Maria, please don't go."
"I won't, no one's hurt," she said, wondering at the terrible grief she saw in his eyes. He was hurting inside and out. What had hurt him so much? Had she just been the cause of that?
He managed to lift a shaking hand and he clutched desperately at her dress. "Maria, I'm sorry," he said.
"Shadow, why are you sorry? I'm the one who just..." Maria said falteringly as she lifted him off the cold stone and cradled him against her chest. "Shhh-shh, it's alright."
"You died!" Shadow fussed, turning his face into her shoulder as his frame shook with sobs. "You died and it's my fault. It's all my fault."
"That was not your fault," Maria said, heart sinking, that's right. She was actually dead, right? "Please don't ever think that, but… You were right about Vincent. I should have tried harder to warn grandfather."
Shadow was quiet for a bit, and his form began to steady, the tremors fading down to shivers. "How long do I get to keep you this time?" he asked quietly. He managed to turn his head so he was looking up at her, those expressive red irises focused on her face. They still looked a little glazed. He looked like he was going to pass out at any moment.
"I don't know," Maria told him, her eyes stinging with tears.
"Hold on," Knuckles said suddenly. He was still holding the blue one in his arms. (Oh, he's a hedgehog, like Shadow, Maria realized.) "What do you mean she died? She's right here."
Shadow blinked in confusion a few times, then struggled to sit up. "You can see her?" he asked.
Maria hastily helped Shadow upright, still holding him in her lap. He swayed dangerously, and she hastily steadied him. Shadow refused to let go of her dress even as he glared at Knuckles.
"Yeah, I can see her," Knuckles said like it was obvious. "I mean, what are you even sitting on if she isn't actually there?"
"I'm not hallucinating?" Shadow said carefully as he turned to look back at Maria, a swirling mixture of grief, dread and hope in his eyes.
Knuckles frowned and approached Maria, freeing an arm from his burden just long enough to prod her shoulder.
Maria swayed slightly under his strength.
"If you're hallucinating then so am I," Knuckles said. "I mean, what's the big deal anyway? The Master Emerald brought her here. Are you really that surprised to see someone you know?"
"She died aboard the Ark," Shadow said quietly. "That was fifty years ago. I watched a soldier gun her down without mercy. I saw it happen."
Fifty years had passed? Maria's heart turned over inside her chest. But… but the whole thing felt like it had passed in only a matter of minutes! Hadn't she just been lying face down in her own blood? And the pain… It had been so real.
Maria frowned and her tears escaped, flowing down her cheeks. "It hurt," she said. "My chin hit the floor pretty hard when I fell, but then, there was this green light, and here I am. I don't know how long I have."
"Are you hurting?" Shadow asked even as his eyelids began to flutter closed. He reached a hand up to touch her face.
"No," Maria said, catching his hand and pressing it to her cheek. "It doesn't hurt anymore. I don't feel the sickness either."
"Good," Shadow said, and tried to force his eyes open wider. He was trying so hard to stay awake. "I don't want you to go."
"I'll stay as long as I can," Maria promised, wiping at her tears. "I promise."
Shadow lost the fight, and his eyes drifted closed, body going limp as he passed out. Maria buried her face against Shadow's fur.
"So... you're a dead girl," Knuckles said hesitantly. "I mean, I dunno, you look pretty alive to me, and you're not a ghost. I've seen ghosts, and punched them. It's like… punching a trash bag full of leaves... and helium. You're way more solid."
Maria looked up at the Echidna. He seemed like he wasn't really sure about what to do next. "I guess, I kinda feel alive," she admitted, and freed a hand to put it over her heart. "I can feel my heart beating, and I'm breathing. I didn't think I'd have a body after I died, but this sure feels like one, but it doesn't hurt either."
"Why would it hurt?" Knuckles asked.
"Because I was sick," Maria explained sadly. "That's why I was on the Ark in the first place. I only had about a year left anyway. I didn't have the heart to tell Shadow that." She paused and stoked the dark hedgehog's forehead. "But I think he knew somehow, or at least suspected."
Knuckles frowned. "So it was terminal," he said. "That's- that's really sad."
Maria smiled. "I met Shadow," she said and hugged him closer. "He was the best thing that ever happened to me."
"Dark and grumpy?" Knuckles asked somewhat incredulously. "I'm sorry, but I just can't see it. It was surprising enough to see him in tears. This whole thing has been… weird."
Maria raised her head slowly to pin the echidna with a look. "You have no idea what he's been through," she said quietly. It felt like it was only yesterday that she'd found him with Dr. Stein and his assistant. What they'd been doing… Shadow had still been weak and sore a full day later, enough that she'd been able to shove him into an escape pod. She lowered her head again, curling protectively around her truest friend.
"Okay then," Knuckles said quietly. "...It's late, and these two need some serious rest. We can sort out… your situation in the morning. There's some shelter we can...yeah."
Maria lifted her head again. He was right. Shadow needed to rest. She felt strong today, so she caught Shadow's legs in the crook of her arm and stood up. Knuckles led her into the darkness, uncovering a lantern to her relief, so they weren't walking in near pitch darkness. There was a cave opening in the side of a cliff face and Knuckles walked right in without any hesitation.
There was a sharp 'u' turn and Maria stopped short in surprise at the cavern it had hidden. It looked like a fully stocked kitchen, although the furniture was mostly rough crates. A squat black wood stove filled the chamber with a pleasant warmth. The pots and pans that hung above it looked like they got regular use. There were three passages that lead further in, but they were unlit.
"Stay here for a bit," Knuckles said, disappearing down one of the halls with his own hedgehog.
Maria suddenly felt a little guilty. The blue hedgehog had clearly also been suffering, but it hadn't occurred to her to check on him. Shadow had been her first priority.
Knuckles came back empty handed and gestured for her to follow him.
"Is the other hedgehog going to be alright?" she asked as she fell in behind the echidna.
"Sonic?" Knuckles asked, glancing back at her. "He'll be fine. He got hit by the same thing, but he doesn't have any inhibitors like Shadow does. The Master Emerald pulled the scrambled chaos energy out of him earlier today. I was just checking to make sure it was done when I stumbled across you."
They went down a different passage. Knuckles paused at a room, looking a little uncertain, but after a moment he ducked inside.
There was a larger bed inside and it looked cozy enough, although it looked messy in comparison to the sleek and sterile, cold steel design aboard the Ark. Maria quickly decided that 'different' was okay with her.
"You can stay in here," Knuckles informed her somewhat gruffly. "I don't have any human clothes that'll fit you, but I'm sure Tails will help you out when you get back to the mainland. I've got another room for Shadow a little further down."
Maria hugged Shadow closer. "That's alright," she said. "I'll just keep him with me."
Knuckles looked at her like he didn't think it was a good idea. "Are you sure?"
She nodded. "I sleep better when he's with me anyway," Maria said. "The Master Emerald brought me here to help him, and I'm not sure what kind of time I have left. I want to spend it all with him."
Knuckles turned a little more fully towards her. "You sound like you're expecting to pop out of existence at any second now," he said.
"I died," Maria said with a shrug even though it still didn't feel real to her. "How many people get a chance to live again? Shadow says it's been fifty years. It felt like a matter of seconds to me."
Knuckles looked at her quietly for a moment, crossing his arms over his chest. "...You look real," he said after a bit. "Physically, you're actually here. If you haven't winked out of existence in the morning, I'd say you're here to stay."
Maria shrugged, her eyes dropping away from Knuckles' penetrating stare. "I admit… after what just happened. I'd like the chance to stay to make sure Shadow's alright," she said. Fifty years. She lifted her head again sharply. "Oh, wait, right. It's been fifty years for him." She sat down on the bed and examined her friend for the marks of time. He didn't seem any different.
"Actually…" Knuckles said hesitantly, he approached the bed and glanced at the spot next to her. "Mind if I sit down? You look like you've got some questions."
Maria nodded and Knuckles sat with a sigh.
"The first thing you should know is that it hasn't exactly been fifty years for him either," the echidna started.
Maria frowned. "What do you mean?" she asked.
"Shadow spent the majority of that time in cryogenic stasis," Knuckles said. "It's been barely six months since he woke up."
"Cryo?!" Maria asked in astonishment.
Shadow stirred a little, making a low sound of protest, and she rubbed his ear gently. "Sorry," she said softly. "I didn't mean to shout. Everything's alright. Go back to sleep."
The dark hedgehog gave a shuddering sigh and turned his face more firmly into Maria's shoulder before settling again.
Knuckles looked on, an expression bordering on appalled shock on his face. "In all the encounters I've had with him, he didn't exactly come across as the cuddly type," he said. "In fact, he kicked Sonic's teeth in when they first met."
"Start from the beginning," Maria said, rubbing her forehead. Knuckles was right, she had a lot of questions. "Cryo? How'd he get there?"
"Not real sure," Knuckles admitted with a shrug. "Eggman dug him up out of a secure GUN facility."
Maria closed her eyes as her heart hurt for Shadow. "So they caught him anyway," she said darkly. Her eyes were starting to sting with tears again. "I died for nothing."
"Are-are you alright?" Knuckles asked.
Maria had never felt so devastatingly lost in her entire life. All of her efforts that day, the last peace she'd felt as her sight had darkened… She had given up her life, such as it was, all for Shadow to continue suffering at the hands of that… that horrible, good for nothing, evil-. "No," Maria said somewhat sharply. "I'm not alright. This isn't how it was supposed to be, and now I don't even know if I'll be able to stay to fix it."
Knuckles was quiet enough that Maria finally lifted her head to check if he was still there. He was, but he looked extremely uncomfortable, like he felt the need to say something but had no idea what to say. He dragged a large hand over his muzzle. "Sonic is better at this," he muttered. "Um, look. Shadow isn't exactly the type to ask for help-."
Maria couldn't help a brief scoff of mirthless laughter. That was the understatement of the century.
"-but, no matter what happens with you, we'll try to be there for him," Knuckles finished.
Something in Maria's chest loosened a little. "...Thanks," she said quietly after a bit.
"Did… did you have more questions?" Knuckles asked hesitantly.
She did, but she shook her head. "I don't think I can take much more," she said honestly. Her head was starting to hurt, and feeling pain of all things was convincing her that she might actually be alive. "I think I just want to hold Shadow for a while."
Knuckles nodded and stood up. "Well… I'll hear you if you enter the kitchen, so if you need anything…"
"Thank you for letting us stay here," Maria said.
Knuckles scuffed a foot on the stone floor somewhat bashfully. "It's nothing," he said. "Try to get some sleep."
Maria nodded even as she resolved to stay awake. If she was going to disappear, she wanted to hold on to this moment for as long as she could. Knuckles left a candle burning on the rough night stand next to the bed and bid her goodnight.
She let the candle burn, laying down on her side with Shadow in her arms. His features were just visible in the dim, flickering light, and she traced them with her fingers. With a sigh, he seemed to relax a little more at her touch and Maria smiled. When she'd woken up that morning, she never imagined she'd be going to bed in such a wildly different place.
It was so different from the Ark. The stars had been open above her head, and even now, there was nothing sealing them into the cave from outside. Knuckles insisted she was alive, but… Where was here anyway? Was this Earth? It wasn't quite what she'd imagined, but then, it had been dark. She'd always expected blue skies and a naked sun, and that still didn't seem safe. The Ark had windows that heavily filtered the light from the sun because of the radiation. A layer of air did not strike her as enough protection.
But she was dead anyway, right? Did it matter? Would she even get to see the sky when the planet turned to face the sun? She bit her lip as her eyes got all hot again and the lump was back in her throat. It would be best if she stopped thinking about this.
Turning her attention forcefully back to Shadow, she began to check his vital signs. Holding his wrist she counted his heart beats. It was a little fast. His breaths sounded a little shallow and labored as well, not enough to warrant an oxygen supply, but it was a little concerning. She felt his ears for temperature and it seemed normal enough for him, if a little cool. All in all, from what she could tell, his condition was in line for what she'd observed when his chaos energy was pretty much spent.
Pulling the blanket up over the top of them both, she examined Shadow's face again. Fifty years should have changed something shouldn't it? His face was the same as when she'd pushed him into the escape pod.
"Oh, Shadow," she said quietly. "I'm so sorry. I thought things would get better, I really did. I thought you would be free."
Pulling him closer to cuddle him, Maria closed her eyes for a second. Against her will and intention, she was out like a light the next moment.