Anguish in resonance

by The.Fictionist-2077

Have you ever wondered what the catalyst to rise of the Joker was? This is a story about how the laughing man became who he is today, and how he got there. But be warned, it doesn't have a happy ending.

14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Twas Friday the fourth of April.

April was a special month for Arthur, Lucy and Bob were born in that month. Lucy was born on the first of April in 1995. Whereas Arthur and Bob's shared birthday was on April fourth. Both were born in 1979, so they were now twenty-three and Lucy was seven.

"Can you believe it, man?" Bob slapped a hand on Arthur's shoulder.

"What? That we're twenty-three?" Arthur retorted off handily.

Bob shoved his shoulder lightly, "Twenty-three and with children."

"Uhh, yeah. Just 'cuz we reached a certain number doesn't make it any more impressive" Arthur gave him a ludicrous look.

"Daddy" Lucy tugged on Arthur's sleeve, "when will mummy be back?"

"She'll be back when she gets your cousin Kate and Katherine." Arthur nodded at her and guided her to the large kitchen in Bob's apartment.

"Woah, that's a big cake" Lucy commented, pointing at the cake that was almost as large as the width of the table.

"It should be! I paid good money for the cake" Bob remarked as he set a few more glasses on the table. As Arthur and Lucy sat down between their conversation, Bob heard caught wind of their conversation and rebutted, "What do you ma it won't be as good?"

Arthur chuckled when he saw Lucy look at Bob like he was an idiot, "Mummy didn't make it, so it won't be as good."

Bob pursued his lips in a thin line, "Artie, are you not tellin' me something?"

Arthur connected his fingers behind his head, "Hm, I may have, uh, forgotten to mention that my woman can cook up some good grub."

Bob stared him down, "And you didn't mention this before because?" Bob knew what Arthur was doing here. He was still upset that Bob made a pass on Aashi.

"It must've slipped my mind-ah" Arthur stretched his arms and leaned forward on the table with his forearms. That caught his attention though it was not Arthur's intention.

Bob looked him over in surprise, "Hey, Artie. Since when did you start goin' to he gym? You're less…"

"Fat." Arthur grinned, showing his mildly yellow teeth, "Yeah, well I got someone to impress now, yaknow." That was not the complete truth but Bob could figure that out himself.

"Me too, me too" Lucy piped in, excited. "I'm gonna be like Mummy one day."

A smug look crossed Bob's face, "So… how long it's been for ya, Artie?"

Arthur's smile fell slowly, "what do you mean?"

Lucy looked between the two adults, confused.

Bob leaned on the table on his palms, "You haven't been laid in a while, have ya?"

Arthur's eyes closed and he sighed through his nose, "Bob, not now!"

Lucy's brows creased and she patted Arthur's elbow, "what did Uncle Bob say? What does that mean?"

"Come on! How long?" Bob urged him to answer.

"Bob!" Arthur warned.

"How long?"

"BOB!"

"HOW LONG?" Bob wouldn't let it go.

"FOUR YEARS!" Arthur banged his fists on the table which made Lucy jump in her seat.

There was a pause and then Bob leaned back and shook his head, "Damn, son. How have you been living these past few years?"

Arthur licked his lips and shot him a warning look, "Do not tell another soul or I'll-"

Bob's face lit up in amusement, "Yeah, yeah."

Arthur's eyes wandered around the room and they fell on Lucy. Oh. "Lou, just pretend none of this ever happened, yeah?"

"But, daddy… what did Uncle Bob mean?"

"Basically, Lou" Bob quickly inserted himself in, "Your dad hasn't seen any love in four years."

Arthur stood and smacked Bob's shoulder but Bob just laughed it off.

"Daddy, I love you." Lucy near shouted.

"I know you do, baby doll. But not in the way that Uncle Bob means."

"In what way does Uncle Bob men then?" Aashi asked standing a few feet away.

Arthur whirled around with a hand on his chest, "Jesus, woman. Have a care!"

Aashi side stepped him, "Whatever you say. Come on, girls! Get ready!"

"But we just came back from school!" the twins groaned from the entrance doors.

The girls continued to whine but the moment they saw Aashi's stern gaze they shut their mouths, immediately.

"Damn, girl" Bob said having caught that, "Teach me that too."

Aashi handed him their school bags forcibly and retorted, "Sorry, you need to have a pair of balls to do that."

She passed by him with a smirk and Bob's eyes flashed to Arthur, who shrugged at him. The girl were speaking amongst themselves rather rapidly whilst the adults continued to ready the kitchen for the celebration.

As Arthur set the plates, Aashi set the cutlery while Bob went to look for the wine. Arthur glanced at Aashi several times before she ordered, "Spit it out, Arthur."

Arthur toyed with the plate as he continuously corrected its position, "Why don't you, uh, become Lucy's mother…"

"I am" was her curt answer.

"In the papers." He left the plate and held her shoulder's, "I can vouch for ya. Make it permanent, before it comes to bite ya in the ass. Legally, become her mother."

Something changed in Aashi's face. He saw he drastic change in her eyes as her gaze slowly turned hard and her body tensed, "Why? What do you mean by that?" He messed up and her defences were now alerted.

Arthur's hands flinched away like they were on fire. "You know what I mean…"

They had a stare down. In all honesty, he had only meant well but now he knew he should have considered his words better. Now, he has given her the impression that he thought it wasn't safe for Lucy and Aashi to be together outside for people would misunderstand. If something happened and it wasn't in the system that Aashi was her guardian, it could become really ugly. This showed how his faith in her was not complete. He knew that she knew exactly what he had meant to say.

But, her eyes suddenly softened and she patted her chest, "It is better this way, there's less of a hassle. What matters the most is that Lucy knows I'm her mother." He sighed a breath of relieve. She had forgiven him.

Arthur stared at his feet and thought to himself, "Don't screw this up, you idiot."

Meanwhile, Katherine rushed Lucy about her lessons with Aashi. "Do it again! Do it again!"

Lucy did a few more push-ups and then stood to her feet, proudly. "See, mummy made me strong."

"Yeah, you're strong like a boy! That's cool!" Kate commented.

"Hey" Katherine gestured to her, "Did your mummy teach you anything else?"

"Yeah, she taught me, uh, self… defence, I think"

"Ooh, show!" the twins said simultaneously.

"Ok, I need one of you" Lucy nodded and immediately Kate stepped towards her, "Me! Me! In ballerina class we're learning flexibility" she stuck her chin out with pride.

"Mummy's teaching me that too" Lucy rushed to add. "Oh, ok" Kate said, her pride deflating a little.

"Ok, here I go" Lucy warned and twisted her arm slowly to her back.

"Wow" Katherine said after Lucy let go, "Wait, do it again, so I can do it too!"

Lucy looked at her and nodded proudly, "Okay!" Then she took Kate's hand and twisted it around her back, "Ha!"

Unfortunately, she did it with a bit too much force this time, "Argh! Ow! It hurts!"

"Don't be such a baby, Kitty" Katherine chastised, "Your arm is pretty flexible anyway because you're a ballerina."

"I'm training to a ballerina!" Kate sniffled and wiped her tears with her sleeve. Lucy touched her wounded arm, "Sorry".

Kate sniffled again and looked at Lucy's sincere face, "its ok. Just don't hurt me again, ok? I don't like it and you're really strong."

Lucy nodded before she turned back to Katherine, "Mummy taught me a lot of things but I can't show you all of them! Just some of them."

Katherine gasped, "Why not? You promised you would teach me!"

"Yeah, but… Mummy said I can only do them on bad people who want to hurt me-"

"You promised!"

"But, it is really dangerous-"

"You PROMISED!" Katherine kicked her feet and it accidentally hit a toy nearby, so a shot of pain travelled up her toe which she clutched. "Owie!" she began to cry.

Lucy tried to calm her, "It's ok, it- it's just a scratch"

"No, my- my- my toe really hurts… and it's all your fault. I'm gonna tell your mummy!" Katherine balled up hr hands, closed her eyes shut and tried to walk away.

Kate took her arm, "No, please don't cry, Kathy- when – when you cry, I… cry!" Then the tears began to stream on her face too.

"Kathy, don't tell my mummy, she'll get angry" then the third girl's water works began again.

All the wailing got the attention of Aashi and Arthur. Arthur hurried over but Aashi walked over in her leisure, knowing well what happened.

"Shhh" Arthur waved his hands in a gesture to calm them but they didn't lessen their cries, "What happened?"

The girls began to ramble in between their cries and none of what they said was comprehensible, which frustrated Arthur to no end. He looked helplessly behind him where Bob had joined Aashi and were a few feet away from him.

Bob did the same exact thing Arthur did, "Girls? Girls! What happened?"

There was another chorus of gibberish which confused Bob. The men shifted in their spots uncomfortably. Suddenly, there was a large snapping sound. That ceased everything. The girls were silently crying while the men gave Aashi the floor. She stepped forward with a blank face, and looked at each face before she commanded, "Sit."

Lucy sat down immediately and the twins followed suit. They were each handed a glass of water, "Drink."

Once their glasses were empty, Aashi knelt down and cleaned each of their faces and made them blow their noses. She then looked down at Katherine who was holding her toe, "What happened?"

Lucy opened her mouth to speak but Aashi quickly stated, "When one person speaks, the others listen and do not interrupt until the person speaking has finished. That's basic manners."

Katherine glanced at her father, who nodded, then looked either side of her to Lucy and Kate, "I… I got hu- hurt."

Arthur cleared his voice and looked at Aashi meaningfully, and she realised she may have been intimidating the girls. So, she unfolded her arms and said in a gentler voice, "Where?"

Katherine held out her toe. Aashi held back a grimace at the thought of having to be motherly and picked her up but she instantly handed her over to Bob, "Take care of her foot."

Bob almost stammered but walked off with Katherine.

"And you?" Aashi said to Kate, who swallowed and answered in a squeaky voice, "I was- I was sad"

"Why?" Aashi quickly asked.

"Because my sister was sad" Kate wiped her nose with her sleeve. Aashi knelt back down and patted her head, "Then go make sure she's alright, ok?"

Kate swallowed and bobbed her head dumbly, "Ok. Ok" she then made her way to her twin who was in the dining room. Finally, Aashi turned to Lucy who was looking pale.

Lucy knew she couldn't lie to Aashi, she would see right through, and then be in even more trouble.

A look of concern flashed on Aashi's face but just as quick as it came it was gone. Aashi sat down and held her arms out, "What's wrong, child? Are you sick?"

Lucy crawled to Aashi and hesitantly sat in her lap.

"Lucy" Arthur had also knelt down and was staring at her concerned. "What's wrong, baby doll?"

Again, Lucy opened her mouth to answer her parents but her mouth went dry, "I…"

"Are you hurt?" Aashi looked her over.

Lucy looked between her parents and her tears began to well up, "I- I…"

Her tongue rolled in her mouth in anxiety. She was so afraid to get her mother angry, so much so that her parents could see it in her eyes. She bowed her head in shame.

Arthur put a hand on her head, "Lucy, what's wrong? Just tell us."

Aashi eased his hand away and she cupped Lucy's right cheek, "Lucy, look at me."

When she looked up more tears fell down her face. She got a clear view of Aashi's face but was surprised to see that she wasn't angry.

"Lucy, I won't be angry, just tell me what happened? Did those girls hurt you?" Aashi wiped away her tears.

Finally, Lucy answered, "No. I… did a bad thing, Mummy."

They patiently waited for her to finish, "I… hurt… Katherine and Kate."

The stress visibly left Aashi and Arthur's bodies. Arthur exhaled and Aashi closed her eyes, "Lucy, its ok. It was an accident. Accidents happen." She rubbed Lucy's arms to warm her up, "Hey, it's ok, yeah?" she kissed her forehead. Then she pulled her into a warm hug.

Lucy hiccupped so Aashi rubbed her back while rocking the two of them, "shhh." She looked back to Arthur and gestured with her head to join them. Arthur smiled and joked to Lucy, "Here we thought you were gonna say you lost your toes, sweet pea."

Aashi gave him a sharp look and he chuckled dryly in response.

"No, daddy! Don't be silly!" Lucy chided him.

Arthur responded by going off topic and gasped in exaggeration, "What was that? You don't want any of your own birthday cake? Fine, I'll have it"

"No! That's my cake!"

A few hours later the girls were asleep on the sofa, and the adults were around the bomb site of a table. Bob was swirling some wine in his glass, Arthur was poking the cake on his plate and Aashi was shuffling cards randomly.

Arthur dropped the spoon suddenly and his eyes became dark, "Kids are outta the way now, so it's back to business."

Bob paused but Aashi calmly continued to shuffle the cards.

"We need to find the guy that went for Lucy! I think it was tha' same guy who tried to nab her last year!" he bared his teeth savagely as he spoke.

Bob set his glass down and questioned Arthur, "Yeah, but why? If he tried to kidnap her last time why did he try to kill her now? Doesn't make any sense."

They both turned to Aashi expectantly but she was still shuffling the cards slowly.

"Ai." Arthur called her, "You're silent even though we're trying to protect our daughter."

Aashi set the cards down and folded her hands on her lap. She looked at the men with imperturbable eyes, "Now, don't get agitated…"

The men seemed to lean towards her, expecting a revelation.

"I know who attacked Lucy but we mustn't act in haste." She turned her needle like gaze towards Arthur particularly. She was ready to pin him down if he acted rashly. "Harley pushed Lucy in the canal."

A screeching sound filled the room as Arthur stood abruptly and his chair fell over. Bob stood, guarded, as Arthur stared Aashi down. "How long have you known?"

Aashi calmly looked up from the table to his face, "A few days after the incident. I gained access to the security cameras near the apartment complex and just followed Lucy's trail."

Bob concurred, "It does make sense. She never did like Lucy-"

"And you didn't think to tell me?" Arthur gratingly demanded from Aashi.

"No" she coldly replied, "Because you do not think before you act."

Arthur clenched his fists but suddenly calmed himself and sat back down. Bob followed suit not long after.

After a moment of tense silence, Arthur looked towards Aashi, "So, what now?"

As much as he wanted to argue with Aashi: she was right, when it came to Lucy he didn't strategize his next move like he usually did.

"Simple, we take you two far away from Harley. To a place where I have more eyes and ears. She won't be able to be within a yard of Lucy without my say so."

Arthur was a bit nettled that she had acted without informing him, however, something else caused him to panic.

"Two?" Arthur looked at Aashi with confusion.

Bob looked at him strangely but Aashi knew what his issue was, "Yes, you will move with Lucy to the city centre and I will stay at my apartment. That way she will presume that I am no longer in contact with the two of you."

Arthur glared at his hands that lay in his lap intertwined. She was not telling the whole truth – there was another reason why she didn't want to leave the narrows.

"You picked a place yet, Ai?" Bob offered, "I know a few people if you need anything."

"Actually, I have" Aashi's voice sounded like it was under water, blurred and far away.

Arthur's mind delved into the darkness as the thought of leaving Aashi hit him. No, she was leaving him. Leaving him for that woman, he was sure of it, and he didn't like it, not any of it.

;-;-;-;-;

He became obsessive in his pursuit. For the rest of the weekend he had poked and probed at Aashi, urging her to tell him who her lover was, but Aashi was an intelligent woman and not once did she reveal anything, not once did she slip up.

What Arthur would do once he found that woman, he did not know himself, but he was sure that he would remove the competition. Then, on a Sunday night, an unknowing opportunity fell in his lap.

Arthur was helping Lucy prepare for school next morning, a habit which she picked up a few weeks after she moved in with Aashi, and just as Lucy was about to put her school bag away, a quick succession of the tell-tale three raps on the front door brought their attention away.

"Daddy, look, I made this picture of a tiger at school, 'cuz you always call mumm-"

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Arthur, who was sitting on the bed opposite Lucy's, raised his head to the door with narrowed eyes.

"Daddy, someone's at the door." Lucy whispered, and even being a child, didn't make her ignorant of the dangers of Gotham especially at night.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The three impatient raps echoed in the whole home this time. Arthur reached for his gun, tucked in his back pocket, and slowly stood to his feet.

"Lou, go to mom."

Lucy didn't hesitate as she ran off to Aashi's room where she was mediating. She was sitting on the floor in a lotus position in deep concentration when Lucy's entire body rammed into her torso. The abrupt intrusion snapped her out of her meditation and she looked at Lucy with a blank gaze though her tone did reveal a slight vexation, "What is it, child?" Though Lucy did not notice.

Lucy put her hands on Aashi's toned chest and looked at her frightfully, "There's someone at the door. Didn't you hear?"

Aashi's face did not change and she stood to her feet promptly, "Stay here and don't move".

Lucy began to trail behind Aashi but she ordered again, "Stay here."

Lucy faltered but quickly turned and jumped into the large bed behind, hiding under the covers, and waited.

Aashi entered the hall and stopped Arthur who was peeping through the hidden spy hole. She gestured to him to stand back and he obeyed albeit with slight discomfort. Aashi spied through the hole but immediately opened the door with haste.

Arthur tensed at, what he thought was her careless, actions and aimed the gun. However, the figure quickly rushed forward and charged at Aashi. Aashi grabbed the person who had almost toppled her and embraced them with passion. Arthur lowered his gun and took a step back in shock. Aashi never acted like this before.

When the small figure stepped back Arthur nearly spat the blood out of his mouth. It was the woman from the photograph and in a jolt he bit his tongue to keep himself from bursting.

The woman had grasped Aashi's face in both hands and looked at her like it had been years, "Ai, I have to-" she halted when she saw Arthur. A tense atmosphere brewed as Asilia scrutinised Arthur while he openly disapproved of the intimate hold Aashi had on the woman.

Asilia's eyes trailed up and down his body and fixated on his scar, and without taking her eyes off of him she spoke to Aashi, "Who is this?"

Arthur smirked cruelly, "Tiger, why don't you introduce us to this beautiful woman?"

Lucy had been peeking curiously from the threshold of Aashi's room but before any of the adults could react, Lucy was storming down the hall and laughing, "Aunty Asilly!"

Arthur bit back a growl of frustration as he realised Lucy not only recognised this woman but was familiar with her as well. Lucy hugged Asilia's legs which made the two woman separate much to Arthur's satisfaction.

"Daddy, daddy!" she looked up at him from her position, "This is aunty Asilia, mummy's friend, and she's really nice! Aunty Asilly, this is my Daddy" she patted Arthur's leg to indicate to who she was referring to and puffed out her chest like a proud cockerel.

Asilia looked at Aashi funny when Lucy persisted on calling her 'Asilly' when she just made it clear she knew exactly what her name was. Aashi shrugged and closed the door, before leading her in. Arthur shoved the gun back in its position and watched with folded arms as Aashi made her at home. He snarled quietly when Asilia held Aashi's hip and led her inside to the living room.

Lucy followed them enthusiastically and Arthur faintly heard her exclaiming to Asilia how brilliant the Disney and game collection was.

Arthur stormed off to Lucy's room to tidy up, but once he was done his anger had transformed from a blazing fire into a simmering match stick. He pushed aside his irritations and joined them in the living room. He was going to take a page from Aashi's book and observe his rival before he decided to strike her down.

He sat by his solitary self in an armchair, which had been dragged there a few days ago, with a devious sneer directed at Asilia's slumped form on Aashi on the three seater sofa. Aashi glanced at his sneering face dubiously, but was directed back to Asilia's conversation.

"-and then my papa took me to see The Little Mermaid, and I fell in love with Disney completely."

"Yeah, she's alright, but I like Bell better!" Lucy eagerly turned to Aashi, "what about you, mummy?"

Asilia winced knowing where this was going.

Aashi leaned back with an earnest smile, ready to express her draconian views of Disney, "I don't fancy any Disney film! As for your-"

Asilia covered her ears with both her hands comically. "No, Ai! Don't do it!"

Aashi continued regardless, "-Little Mermaid, she was turned to suds and bubbles after the prince married someone else. And what on earth does Disney think it is doing! Romanticising Stockholm Syndrome in Beauty and the Beast!"

Lucy cocked her head in puzzlement, and asked with a hand on her chin, "What is stock… home syndrome?"

Asilia's eyes widened and urgently looked at Aashi for back up. "Oh, it's nothing, kid."

"Stockholm syndrome is when someone starts to empathise with their kidnapper-" Aashi was interrupted when Asilia hurriedly clamped her hands on her mouth. Aashi's eyes crinkled with a warm smile.

Asilai scolded her, "Ai! You don't tell kids things like that!"

Aashi tried to speak but as both of Asilia's hands were on her mouth none of what she said was comprehensible.

"Wait! I wanna know!" Lucy complained.

Asilia faced Lucy with a stern look, "No, it's nothing, kid."

Lucy was about to begin a tantrum but a strict look from Aashi made her close her mouth obediently.

Arthur tapped his left hand on the arm rest (to catch their attention) and bowed his head with his eyes closed, "So, Asilia" he rolled out her name to test it. "When d'ya meet Ai here?"

A serene look settled on her face. A strange silence was cast upon them and even Lucy patiently awaited without making a peep. Asilia may have been looking at Arthur but she didn't look like she was there in their tiny apartment situated in the Narrows at all. Slowly, her eyes began to sparkle with sentiment and a tenderness he had seen in Aashi's eyes on occasions.

Asilia leaned back, looked at Aashi, and weaved her hand into Aashi's hands. "We met in Madagascar during Alahamadi Be… seven years ago".

Lucy tugged on Aashi's black shirt. "What's that? Alaheemahdi bee?"

Asilia didn't elaborate and a pained look crossed her face. Aashi glanced at her questionably but didn't say anything about it. Aashi turned her attention to Arthur and Lucy, "It's their traditional New Year. I was there for a few matches and I decided to taste a bit of the culture when Asilia literally ran into me."

Aashi chuckled which snapped Asilia from her deep thoughts. "Yeah, I was chasing the… the pickpocket when I thought I ran into a wall. It turned out to be Ai."

Asilia nervously laughed, but she clamed up, hugging heArself and abruptly near out ran out the room. Aashi's concerned eyes followed her until she disappeared from her view completely.

Arthur felt the frustration rise in him as he finalised in his mind. "Yeah, they're together."

;-;-;-;-;

Aashi had been adamant on escorting Lucy to school. She had been uneasy with letting Lucy go by herself even with all her training and even with the taser stuffed in her pocket.

For whatever reason, Asilia had tagged along with them which left Arthur by himself in the early morning. He watched with interest as they got ready for the short journey. He had a mug filled with black coffee and did he need it.

Due to their 'guest' Arthur had slept in his bed, which put him off his usual routine, as he was used to sharing a bed with Aashi. He had argued with himself for hours until exhaustion took over and he was in a haze of unconsciousness for a few hours until six in the morning.

He recalled that at near two in the morning he had been tempted to barge into Aashi's room and tell Asilia to hit the road. However, just as his hand met the door he hesitated. He didn't want to disrespect Aashi in anyway, not after everything she had done for him, so he was about to make his way back to bed but he heard it.

"What do you see in him?" Asilia demanded, but it was barely over a whisper.

Arthur froze in his spot, his hand still hovering on the door, and his foot strained as stood literally on his toes. He needed this. He needed to know what Aashi saw in him. He had asked himself this from the very beginning.

Asilia added, as if an afterthought, after Aashi didn't answer. "It can't be his looks, and besides you're not into white men either."

Something dropped in the pit of his stomach.

"Don't be so shallow."

The tone Aashi used with Asilia was one she used to reprimand the children with.

"It's true, I don't like men, least of all white men, mainly because they're usually unhygienic, privileged, uncultured, ignorant bigots who usually only court woman of colour to use them as trophy girlfriends or to 'sample' something exotic."

Again, something heavy was placed on his shoulders and the salt on his brow was becoming more prominent as his fear began to rise.

"But…" Aashi voice rung out in the lonely night. Arthur released a breath he didn't know he was holding. "… not all white men are like that. Just like how not all black people, or Asian people live up to the prejudices that the world creates of them. More importantly, however, not all men are like him"

The venom that came with her final word suggested that the man, whoever he was, was vermin who deserved to rot in hell. She most definitely wasn't referring to Arthur though, that much was clear.

There was a sound of cloth moving and shifting. He suspected that the two woman were lying down together in bed, and Asilia had moved to get a better look of Aashi.

Aashi's solemn voice started again. "No one thinks they are to blame for all the wrong in the world and when they accuse each other they deepen divisions whether it may be through gender, race and even age. But what they fail to see, darling, is that when we bleed we bleed the same."

Arthur couldn't see her face but he knew that Asilia had a look of shame on her face.

"Tell me, Jaan, if we hated every white man we came across simply because of the colour of his skin or because of the parents he was born to, then how would we be any different than those people who discriminate people of colour simply because of the way we were born?"

Arthur heard someone lick their lips, or maybe it was him?

"Yes, there is racism in the West and people of colour have suffered for generations and continue to suffer because of it. However, that does not mean we should wrong innocent people that we meet on the streets. Racism is due to ignorance and you can find ignorant people in every corner of the world. This does not mean you can kill bigotry with more ignorance. That only creates more problems."

Asilia retorted hotly, "No! You don't get to say that! Do you know how many jobs I've lost because of my hair? How many times the white chic got the promotion and not me? How many times I've been pulled over by the pigs for driving in a car because it doesn't look like it belongs to me? How…"

Asilia trailed off, now her voice calm, she murmured to Aashi. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lash out on you."

Aashi was quick to rebuke her apology. "No, your anger is justifiable. I didn't deny there are economic, social and political systems in place that prevent black people and other ethnic groups from advancing in life. My point was, dear, that you cannot fight fire with fire because it only fuels the flames."

There was a pause and then there was a kiss. Asilia sighed regretfully and there was more shuffling of sheets.

Aashi's voice was closer to the door this time but Arthur didn't move. "Don't ever be ashamed of who you are. You're a bright and beautiful woman, Asilia. From the curls of your hair to your calloused toes."

The tensions seemed to ease as Asilia poorly stifled a laugh. "Don't! You know I hate my feet."

"But why?" Asilia asked in a mischievous voice. "They're beautiful, and cute." Aashi's voice retreated back to, what Arthur assumed was, the bed. There was a soft thump as Aashi laid back in bed.

"Why do we get so philosophical over the simplest things?" Aashi sighed in exhaustion. "To answer your question, Arthur may be a white man, and yes, he may not be attractive in the physical sense but you, of all people know, I am attracted to personality and he has this juvenile charm to him."

Asilia pointed out with hints of anxiety in her voice. "But, he is so green-eyed, not to mention insensitive, cruel, and… feral looking."

"Yes, he can be jealous and cagey, but who isn't? He is insensitive, yes, and he most certainly is not altruistic but those who are close to him he is thoughtful and tender to. As for the scars…"

Aashi paused but she didn't hesitate. It was like she had dove into a deep thought and was struggling to vocalise that muse. "They say a lot about him. They are a part of him, they tell a story about him, and I wouldn't have him without them because he wouldn't be the man he is without them. They are a testament to how he has soldiered through life and I can appreciate that."

Arthur's brows furrowed in concentration as he strained his ears further. He vaguely noticed the moon light filtering through the door he left ajar to Lucy's room. It rose up to his feet and he shuffled closer to the door to stay hidden in the shadows.

When Aashi spoke again, it was done so tenderly and it was just below a whisper. "He is… bitter with life, but you cannot blame him. Life gave him the wrong deck of cards but he still finds a way to laugh. He's strong-willed though and he troopers through all that life throws at him for the sake of his daughter. That is something I respect thoroughly. And you know, I really love intellect and he has more than he knows how to handle."

Asilia finally spoke, "You can relate to him."

He was hurt that Asilia probably held a deeper position in Aashi's heart than he did. He didn't blame her though: Asilia had been in her life for much longer than he had. Yet, he now knew that he, too, had a place in Aashi's heart which was a feat in itself.

"Arthur?" Aashi's voice brought him back to reality.

He jerked away which caused some of his coffee to spill on his chest, staining his wife beater, and burning his chest. He hissed and his eyes focused on his injury. He dabbed it with his hand but he was stopped by Aashi.

He slowly looked up to her and found her worried eyes concentrated at his chest. She used a damp cloth to clean his chest. "I see Lucy is not the only clutz."

"We'd ya think she got it from, Tiger?" Arthur's voice hitched when Aashi raised his wife beater from his hips to his shoulders to clean his bare chest. When the damp cloth made contact with his chest he was afraid she would feel how hard his heart was pounding. His eyes wandered from Aashi's face to Asilia.

She was standing a few feet away and was watching them like they were committing an act of treason. Her eyes flickered from Aashi's hunched from and locked with Arthur's. In that moment they both communicated most effectively than before. 'This was war'.

He gave her an evil smirk.

"I plan on winning"

Aashi came in his vision again. "Win what, Arthur?"

Arthur stared at her stumped. "The, uh" he licked his scar, "The lottery."

He could see from the look in her eyes that she wasn't convinced. "Alright, keep a sharp eye out. We'll be back soon." She patted his chest and took off.

As soon as the door shut, Arthur took out his Nokia 3310, and dialled Bob.

"What's wrong, Artie?" his voice crackled over the phone.

"Aashi's… with…". Hesitating, he knew that by revealing this secret which Aashi hadn't explicitly revealed to him that he would be betraying her trust. Yet, he had trust in Bob not to make her life hard.

"With?" Bob encouraged him.

"Aashi's gay."

There was a strained silence on the line. "What?"

"How am I supposed to get with Ai if she's not even into men?"

"Woah, woah. How do you even know, bro? I know you're a bit rusty but it can't be that bad-"

"She's sleeping with a chic", he said bluntly.

"Damn. I mean, she does… sort of look like the type-"

Arthur snarled lowly. "Bob, best choose your, uh, words very carefully." He licked his lips and scar compulsively.

"Look, I've never met a dyke before and I don't count Ai 'cuz I didn't even know she was one before I met her." He stopped short quickly. "Do you even… want to be with-"

"Yes! What sort of question is that?!" Arthur inhaled sharply, before he opened his eyes with a look of determination "My glamourous drought is coming to an end soon!"

"Look, you haven't been with a real woman in years, maybe you're looking into things that aren't there, maybe you should take it slow."

"Slow? What do you think I've been doing all this time? All I need to do is get rid of that seductress somehow." Arthur chewed on his scar. "And I'm not making things up, Bob. She-"

Bob interjected. "Is a lesbian. Have you ever seen or heard of her being with a man? This changes everything."

"No" Arthur licked his scar, "It doesn't."

"Why else do you think she rejected me?"

Arthur swallowed. That was a low blow but whether Bob meant it like that intentionally or not, Arthur didn't know. "Maybe 'cuz she ain't a shallow woman and knew despite appearances you're always lyin' outta your ass all the time!"

"Artie, I didn't mean it like that" he sounded low and regretful.

Arthur toyed with his tongue in his mouth before he answered. "Just…" he exhaled, tired. "Just help me win her over."

Meanwhile, at Lucy's school, Asilia waved her off while Aashi just scanned the place over with her hawk like eyes. Asilia slapped her arm lightly and censured Aashi. "Bébé, at least give your poor child a smile if you're not going to kiss her."

Aashi slowly turned her eyes to Asilia. "Infantile behaviour will not help her in life."

Lucy stood by the gates with her hands on the straps of her bag. She had an awkward wry smile and looked to be waiting for Aashi to give her a proper farewell.

Aashi sighed in resignation. "Come here, child!"

Lucy bounced from her position and hugged Aashi's knees, "Bye Mummy, have a nice day!"

Asilia awed at the sight whereas Aashi looked to the heavens before she ruffled Lucy's hair which tussled her braids slightly, but Lucy didn't mind. "Mummy" she tugged on her trench coat flap indicating she wanted Aashi to level with her.

Aashi kneeled and was surprised when Lucy placed a small warm kiss on her cheek. "Love you, Mummy."

Aashi stared at Lucy flabbergasted but she composed herself quickly. "Take care, child. Do not let your guard down and if you see anything suspicious run away from it fast, understood?"

"Mhm" Lucy nodded, grinning.

"Good, now go."

Lucy gave her one last hug which Aashi returned to Asilia's shock. Then, Lucy ran off like a speeding car into the building and disappeared. When Aashi stood again she noticed Asilia dragging her feet but said nothing of it as they made their way home through the forest.

However, as they were passed the bridge and walked along the very canal where Lucy almost drowned, Aashi's brows knotted together at the sight of Asilia's cheerless smile and a tear in her eye.

Aashi wanted to wipe her tears away but she was very much aware that they were in public even if they thought they were alone. "What's wrong, Jaan?"

"Who would've known?" Asilia's voice cracked terribly. "And here I thought you hated children."

"I do" Aashi was quick to tell her. She knew where this was going and didn't like it.

"Then, is Lucy not a child or is she just special?"

"Obviously, albeit unintentionally, she's my daughter."

Asilia stopped dead in her tracks. Her tears cascaded down her face like two fresh streams, sparkling and rich, packed with enough sorrow to bring Aashi to her knees. "What about my daughter? What about the children I wanted?"

Like a snake suffocating its prey, Aashi's heart constricted as she stared into Asilia's bitter and unsatisfied eyes.

Aashi appraised her and approached her slowly like one would with a dying animal. "We've been over this, darling-"

"Don't darling me!" Asilia snapped. Aashi backed away and gave her the space she needed. Asilia was an injured dog backed into a corner with no escape, and Aashi did not want to be the one who got bitten by said dog. She wanted to assure her but how… Aashi knew only one thing could appease Asilia but it was not possible.

"You told me…" Asilia's wobbly voice echoed in her mind, "that you were not the motherly type and I adhered because I understood." She pointed to Aashi's person, "I understood but… how could you do this to me?"

Aashi's eyes widened with guilt as she was finally illuminated to the extent of Asilia's burdens. Aashi's face remained impassive but her eyes revealed the stormy like emotions whirling around in a chaotic resonance. As another bullet like tear fell from Asilia's pleading eyes, the more the storm grew with ferocity.

Asilia's hand rested on her chest, directly on top of her humming bird of a heart, and she clutched it as if she was suffering a cardiac arrest. "How could you have a child all to yourself, but deny me the pleasure of one?" She beat her chest, "You never even wanted a child, you detested them so badly, and you were so adamant in not wanting to have any children."

Aashi's brows knotted together and a hollow ache blossomed in her chest. As each syllable flew from Asilia's lips, razor sharp daggers moulded by her affliction, and pierced Aashi's heart.

"So, tell me why, bébé, why must I suffer while you can experience the joys of parenthood?" she croaked, her eyes bloodshot and there was not a part of her body that was not quivering as her misery took its toll.

Aashi took a slow step toward her but Asilia took a step back simultaneously. Aashi silently shook her head in confusion, "You had so many beaus, why did you not ask them of a child?"

Asilia's lips creased downwards further. "Because…"

She struggled to find the words but she knew exactly what she wanted to say. She had never met anyone like Aashi before: so accepting, considerate, patient, perceptive, sympathetic, unintentionally heroic, fearless in whatever the world throws her way. Similarly, Aashi could be cruel, mysterious, cold, selfish and standoffish. However, Asilia could understand why she was like that. So contradictive in nature.

Her best quality, of all perhaps, was that she was understanding and never judged. She could seem callous most of the time but Asilia knew it was because of the way the world treated her, and the most tragic thing was, that Asilia could be so open hearted: she would take the entire weight of the world on her shoulders if it meant the world could be a better place. The thing that held her back though was her intellect. She was too rational for her own good. She saw things for the way they were, so she closed her heart, knowing that being a decent and honourable human being never did any good.

However, this came at a huge price and burdened Aashi's being too. Her unfiltered vision made her age decades beyond her age. Decades. She was the most experienced and mature person she had met. She was wiser than people who had lived more than a hundred years. Due to this she could never enjoy the ignorance or naivety children had. Yet, despite everything, she tried to live life to the fullest. Never letting anyone rain on her parade.

Still, putting all those things together and Aashi was her gallant knight. She was an amalgamation of perfect. How could anyone ever choose a shallow, uncultured, cowardly, witless, low-life over Aashi? It would be nothing less than an insult.

"Because… they were not you." Asilia hugged herself. "How could I leave you?"

Aashi grimaced, "Because, I could never bring a life into this world, no matter what. I told you this, Jaan, when you first brought it up."

Aashi took several hesitant steps towards Asilia and rubbed her arms, "How could I bring a child into a world like this? Where mothers sell their daughters to the highest bidder? Where fathers kill their children if they bring dishonour to the family name? Where rich nations create war and chaos in other poorer nations, in entire continents, to keep their power at the cost of millions of lives? Where every person is given a monetary value depending on their level of sex appeal and efficiency rather than their character?" There was a faraway look on Aashi's face, "Where siblings would kill their own blood if it meant they could further themselves in life?"

Aashi withdrew from her. "I could never bring myself to create life if it meant they had to struggle so much only for them to live out such pitiful lives and de like dogs on the streets." It was Asilia's turn to gaze at Aashi with guilt growing in her chest.

Aashi staggered back, inevitably showing the impact Asilia's reaction did to her even if her poker face blocked Aashi's true emotions from leaking out. "I could never forgive myself. I would never stand for it."

It clicked in Asilia's mind. 'She could never see her child suffer for it would kill her. She wouldn't want them to go through what she did.'

Asilia's tears now fell for Aashi, who was now facing the path they were on.

"I know, we could have adopted, but I am not someone who should be around children. I can be selfish, impersonal and distant. My 'career' is too violent. I didn't think any child would've wanted that. I don't think..."

Aashi looked at Asilia, the faraway look still on her face, "I don't think any child would have understood why they would be discriminated against because they had two mothers."

She was right. Everything Aashi had said, Asilia had over looked, but now that they had been voiced Asilia knew why Aashi was so hesitant. Though, that did not deter her.

Asilia sniffled. "You always said, change only happened when a few brave people stood up and challenged the conventional."

Aashi muttered underneath her breath, "I'm not brave."

Asilia rushed to cup her face, craning her face so she could see Aashi's face completely, "Yes, you are! You are so…"

Asilia trailed off never finishing her sentence as she became overwhelmed by the mere sight of the war in Aashi's eyes. Aashi looked like she wanted to tell her so much, but her pride kept her from it or perhaps she thought it would weigh down on Asilia's mind.

Whatever it was, Asilia didn't know for sure, especially since Aashi rarely shared anything from her past but what Asilia was sure about was that it was slowly killing her. But, she was trying. She was really trying to show how much Asilia meant to her.

Asilia choked up. In the seven years she had known Aashi, she had never seen her cry, Aashi has always been so strong and Asilia didn't know how she could be so strong for so long without having a break. She had always taken such great care of Asilia. She must've been exhausted with everything by now… and here Asilia was asking something from her that she knew Aashi couldn't give her.

Asilia wept and pulled the lapels of Aashi's trench coat to bring her face down on hers. Aashi grabbed Asilia's waist by both hands to steady herself but her brows were crossed like she was in pain. The terse kiss held so much passion, so much love, so much promise. It restarted the water pipes in Asilia's eyes knowing that she had almost broken their brittle relationship.

Aashi held her down, breaking their connection, "If you want to leave then I won't hold you back. You deserve better… but just know that Lucy was never intentional and I only stayed because… she needed me" she told her firmly, her voice didn't waver not once.

Asilia muttered under her breath cursing her timing. "I don't- I don't want to… leave you. But, I need to go back home, to Kenya. My brother-"

Aashi breathed in sharply and looked off side.

"-my brother called. Father is ill again."

Aashi sharply looked at Asilia and scoffed when she mentioned her father. "You are leaving."

Asilia sighed regretfully, feeling like absolute crap.

"It's why you rushed over last night." Aashi finished, nodding with clear comprehension.

They stood in the pregnant silence for a few moments before Aashi pulled her into a warm hug, comforting her even after all this.

"Go, but be sure to come back to me."

To be continued…