Chapter Three: The Clover

Her eyes were still closed as she lay in her bedroll a few days later. It was still early, but even still the warmth of the sun that had recently fully risen promised another hot day ahead. It wasn't overwhelming yet though and the warmth of the rays was a comfort now. Xena had made her way through the forest and had been traveling on a side road for a few days, making steady progress on her journey. Last night, she traveled several yards off the road into a fairly recluse clearing to make camp.

Even though she hadn't opened her perfectly blue eyes yet, she had been awake for several minutes, just enjoying the quiet of the morning before she had to start packing up to get back on the road. Despite keeping herself in the physical darkness, she felt his presence arrive. Still, she didn't stir yet and he didn't try to wake her. After a few moments, she felt his presence come closer. He was right beside her now, she could tell. She kept her eye closed and held her breath, anticipating his touch. She knew she had every right to move, wake up, speak up in order to deny him this intimate moment; but she didn't. She could feel both anticipation and excitement in her own body in response to his physical nearness. To her surprise, and perhaps even disappointment, the touch never came though and she felt his presence retreat slowly; not altogether leaving her small campsite, but putting space between them again. She scrunched her forehead in confusion and finally opened her eyes. To add to her confusion, she found a four-leaf clover directly in front of her face on the pillow next to her.

Xena sat up, careful not to crush the clover. Once she was in a seated position and had noticed that although Ares was still there, he wasn't visible, she gave more attention to the small token. Gently picking it up between two pinched fingers, she brought it up to her face to look at it better. Besides having four leaves, it was an ordinary clover. She looked in the direction that she knew Ares to be in, a puzzled expression on her face.

"Good luck… what a nice gesture," she said to the empty space.

Ares materialized then, standing just in the perimeter of her campsite. "Good luck, indeed," he started. "But that is not the only meaning of a four-leaf clover. It's said that they don't only bring good luck but also protect you from evil spirits and help you see magical beings… though I guess you don't need help in sensing magical beings around you."

"Not all," Xena laughed lightly.

"Well, be that as it is, there are a lot of positive qualities to four leaf-clovers; and the reason for all those qualities is because of how rare they are. Only one in every 10,000 clovers has four leaves to it… something that special deserves to be appreciated."

Xena continued to smile but narrowed her eyes at him slightly. "I suppose it does."

Ares walked towards her then, he stopped next to her bedroll and when she didn't resist, he lowered himself to the ground and took a seat next to her. "So that is for you, my Dear. To bring you luck, protection, and just a bit of magic."

"Well then, I suppose I should treasure it," Xena glanced at it once more, then slid it into her cleavage, deep between her breasts. "For safe keeping," she added, not taking her eyes off Ares.

He longingly watched her placement of it and nodded approvingly. "I couldn't think of a better place to keep it," he replied as he met her eyes again.

Xena turned her face up to the sun, letting the warmth wash over her with her eyes closed. Ares looked at her longingly for several moments before he spoke again.

"Lila is okay. It looks like it may have been pneumonia, but she is on the mend now."

She met his eyes then, a bit surprised by him checking in on Gabrielle and her family. She had to admit, she was relieved to hear this. There had been a fear present in the back of her mind for several days now about what she would find in Potadeia when she arrived. The news that Lila was alright, which meant that Gabrielle was alright, was welcomed. She smiled and thanked him for this, for his thoughtfulness, then turned her face back to the sky.

"So… is that what really brought you here this morning?" she asked.

"Just needed a reason I suppose," Ares admired her.

"Never did before," Xena commented.

Ares thought about this before responding. "Things seem… different now. Don't you think?" He wasn't sure he wanted to hear her answer to this, so braced himself for it.

"Now?" Xena asked as she brought her face down to look at him again. "There's been so many changes… what do you mean by now?"

"Since I became a god again," he replied softly.

"Funny how an apple can change so much…" she mused out loud.

"Do you regret it?" It was Ares' turn to ask her the hard questions.

"The world needs a God of War. We both know that."

"We do… but that's not what I mean. You know things changed when I became a god again… between us I mean."

Xena looked up to the sky again, watching the clouds drift in silence, as she gathered her thoughts.

"We've been a lot of things to each other, you and I. Lovers, allies, enemies. I know you pretty well. I can predict your motives and anticipate most of your actions. In the mortal moments you've had though, I started to see a different side to you." She let out a heavy sigh before continuing. "This last time, you were mortal for a while. It really opened my eyes to a new you. I thought that maybe we could have something we never had before… friendship."

"Friends…" the word sounded out of place when he thought of himself and Xena. He loved them as lovers and was even fond of them as enemies. Friends was something that he had not considered. Did he even have friends? Did he know what that meant? He supposed Aphrodite was a friend. Could he have that with Xena though?

Xena noticed him struggling to process this. She also knew that it's not exactly what he wanted to hear. She took his silent thoughts as opportunity to continue.

"Yes friends. I know that's not what you really want from me. I know what it is that you do want. I told you before, Ares, you're bad for me and I stand by that. The god that you were… you were bad for me. Sure, in the old days we were great together. I changed though and you didn't. I never blamed you for that, it was in your nature. You were the God of War after all. When you became mortal though, and lived that way for some time… you changed. You weren't just the God of War that I've always known. You were truly human not just mortal. I think that you and I both saw the differences in you and how that inspired differences in whatever it is or could have been between us.

"Knowing you as a mortal brought a new enjoyment whenever I was around you. Sure, you've always excited me. As a mortal though you could excite me and bring a comfort that I never knew from you before. Your motives changed. Of course, some of those motives were just to stay alive; but you also traveled all the way to Rome to save your sister knowing it would put your life in danger. You gave up your immortality for me and my family and after never expected anything from me. You risked your life to save me when you thought I was dead in that icy water. You even made friends with a dog – a one-headed one!"

They both laughed at that before Xena continued.

"Ares the god, I knew inside and out… Ares the human… I was really enjoying getting to know him and considering the possibilities that were there for us. Maybe you were wearing me down after all these years, but I can't deny the changes I saw in you."

Ares couldn't take his eyes off hers. They were as blue and beautiful as ever, but the softness that was in them as she spoke to him now was a side he so rarely saw. Arguably, her eyes radiated more in these soft moments than behind her hard steely gaze that he was more accustomed to seeing. He wanted to badly to kiss her now but was terrified of how she would respond. She was laying a lot of herself out before him in her honest response. Pushing for anything more was a risk. Instead of pushing for the kiss though, he pushed for the answer he sought.

"You didn't answer me though… do you regret it? You didn't have to go through all of that to get the apple for me. You could have let the world go on as it was. It wasn't your responsibility after all."

"It was for the greater good," she let this be her answer; an answer that both avoided the question but also let them both hear the unspoken truth. There was some regret behind her actions, though she did what she knew was right for the world rather than herself… as she always did.

Ares sighed and nodded his understanding. He looked away from her and followed her example of looking to the sky to avoid eye contact. He felt more than heard her movements beside him. He anticipated her getting up but was surprised to feel the warmth of her move up against him and her head come to rest on his shoulder. He held his breath for a moment, making sure this was real not a fantasy playing through his head. He felt her own heart beat and breath come in and out. Only then, did he let his own breath out and settle into her comfort.

"You and this greater good… I really should be used to it by now I guess," he teased when he allowed himself to speak again.

"I know it's hard for you to accept," she started to take on a serious tone again but Ares made a gentle shushing sound. He kissed the top of her head affectionately.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he whispered before resting his cheek on the top of her head.