You should be glad you're back at court, Mary told herself severely, you should be glad the king welcomed you back, you should be happy that the court is on progress and you're able to distract yourself. And the queen, she asked about your daughter without a hint of a clue that she expects that it is Henry's. Why are you crying and crying, making sure that no one is around to see you. Be grateful you have your old place back, be grateful that William is being kind and thoughtful. What is wrong with you?
But she knew, she knew from the minute she spilled her first tear whilst she was riding in the carriage to Windor. Nothing but time, and perhaps not even that, was going to make things better.
She missed Hever, she missed the quiet of the countryside. She missed waking up in the morning to the rooster's crow and padding barefoot to her baby's room and scooting her up out of her cot. She'd bury her nose in Katherine's curls and inhale her baby smell. She would walk her around, singing to her, looking in her eyes and seeing a reflection that was as much of herself as it was the king. Then, when the nurse realized that she was missing from her bed Mary would hand her over reluctantly and bid her farewell.
It was blessedly quiet at Hever, the only noise coming from the splash of fish in the most, or the birds in the trees. The servants may not be silent, but compared to the hustle and bustle of court it seemed that way. Here the ladies of the court and their maids chattered like chickens in the henyard. The only time the noise would stop was at night an"d then it would seem to become unearthly quiet, as if all living things had ceased to exist, only to rise, reincarnated, in the morning.
Henry was keeping her close, but with great discretion. She would ride and hunt with his trusted group of friends, perhaps sitting and drinking a fine wine, listening while they talked until he dismissed them. Then he would take her to bed and they would make love and talk until sleep took them over. In the morning, they might make love again, then Henry would help her get dressed, showing all the skills of a lady's maid as he laced her into her gown before kissing her and sending her on her way.
She'd just sent her maid to the kitchen for hot water and ordered that the wooden tub be brought to her room when she heard knocking at the door. She opened it to see George standing there, waiting for her to invite him in.
She put her arms around him, hugging him. "Come on, but you can only stay a minute, I am going to bathe."
He sniffed at her, "Probably a good idea, you don't want the queen to know you've been rutting with her husband."
"George!" She wanted to ask, "Why did you say that?" but she knew he liked to tease. She felt sorry for him and knew he must be miserable. When the court returned and went to Greenwich for the holidays, he would find himself married to Jane Parker, whether he willed it or not.
They only had a few minutes. "I've been sent to ask you, how are things going between you and Henry?"
"Very well, but if I have a second pregnancy I am not sure that he will keep me. We are ill-suited to each other, I can only offer him kindness. Anne is the keen-minded one, the intellectual. I am not stupid, nor am I dull, but compared to Anne I feel that way."
"Don't," George replied, "Don't underestimate yourself like that. Anne is attractive but you are the more fair. You are kindness itself and don't forget you do not possess Anne's sharp tongue. He has told me that your presence is soothing, that it is with you that he feels he can truly relax. And the fact that you disappoint Father by refusing to ask him for favors only shows how true your nature is. You are good enough as you, Mary, never, ever wish you were like Anne."
There was a knocking at the door and the servants arrived with the tub and hot water. George kissed her, saying, "Enjoy your bath but don't be late for the queen."
"Oh, shoo," she told him, then sank into the fragrant waters of the tub, knowing she had only a short time to enjoy it. Soon she must present herself to Katherine and be ready to perform the duties expected of a lady-in-waiting.
If she could, she would return to Hever, and her daughter, she was even willing to tolerate the presence of Anne. Queen Katherine seemed blasé about the time she must spend away from Princess Mary. When the princess left court to return to her household in Ludlow Castle in Wales, the queen was not seen to shed a tear. What discipline and control it cost her, Mary did not know, but never, ever would she want to be queen if that was the price she paid.
She was in the garden, playing bowls in the bright summer's sunshine when George came to fetch her. "It's Father, he wants to speak to you, he granted you a respite, now you must report to him, he will want to know how you fare with Henry."
Mary sighed, "Very well, though I hoped to put it off I may as well get it over with. He is never satisfied with what I have to tell him, even though our family's fortunes have increased since I started sleeping in the king's bed."
Thomas Boelyn has unlaced the top of his doublet and shirt as far as modesty would allow for the summer's heat. He scowled at his daughter, taking in her sun-kissed skin and lips, even her hair had been lightened by the sunshine. She looked like a country maid, not like a woman who had been gracing the king's bed.
"Father," she said sweetly, then curtsied. She stood waiting for him to speak, well aware of the fact that he disapproved of her appearance.
"Well, has he taken you back?" He was blunt and to the point, he saved his diplomatic skills for his work.
"Yes, Father, he has. As a matter of fact, he has been very—welcoming," she said sweetly.
"Hmm, I was wondering if he was going to set you aside like he did Bessie Blount."
"He set her aside while she was pregnant and married her off, but there was no doubt as to who the father of the child was. My children will be the legal prodigy of William Carey, even if there will be those who doubt his paternity. He has been cautious, very cautious, Father, he does not want it known that he is carrying on a affair with me. Most of all he does not want the queen to know, too much is at stake. If the world sees this child as William Carey's so much the better. I am glad I had a girl, Father, I can keep her out of court politics, or at least I will try."
"Richmond is not proving to be healthy, he may not survive long past childhood. And if the princess were to die and you gave the kind a son…"
"Tell me, Father, Mary Tudor is a princess of the blood, do you think that Parliament would allow a bastard, even a royal one, to inherit England's throne? It would insult the queen for one thing, and she might seek help from her nephew the Holy Roman Emperor. Even as a king, Henry cannot do whatever he wants, he has others to answer to."
A wry smile played across Sir Thomas's face, "I underestimate you sometimes, Mary, you understand Henry's dilemma. The queen is barren now and cannot give the king an heir. Will England tolerate a foreign ruler on the throne? That remains to be seen. A woman cannot rule, that is a known fact so Henry faces a dilemma."
"And he cannot divorce the queen and if he did, he could not remarry." How many times had she had this discussion, or heard this discussion? The queen's failure to provide a male heir was presenting the country with a crisis. The queen might live for many years, though it was doubtful that she would outlive her husband. The only way the problem would be solved was if Henry had a son, but how?