A/N Thank you! Thank you! Oh my gosh, the farm is being overrun by walkers and Beth and the group have left. Can Daryl, Rick, Herschel and Dale get to them, and safety? Let's check in...
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Daryl's looking in the rearview when he notices, "The damn motorhome stalled, shit," and the next thing she knows he's telling her, "Get in the driver's seat, if I tell ya ta go, go."
"Daryl, what are you doing, no! No! Don't go out there! Please, we have to leave, you have to come with me."
"We can't leave the others here ta die."
He's right, of course he's right, they can't be that selfish and uncaring. That's not what she wants, she just can't stand the thought of losing him.
The pain Beth feels is emotional and physical, as she watches Daryl jump from the van and rush toward the motorhome. She only gets the slightest bit of relief when Merle calls to his brother, "We'll meet up in 30 miles." If Merle has that kind of faith shouldn't she?
She's just so scared. Her head is pounding, she's queasy and anxious and her heart aches. Still, when Daryl hollers for her to go she does what he says. She presses down on the gas pedal and follows his brother away from the farm.
She stays as close to Merle's bumper as she can while still keeping a safe distance. She needs to be able to come to a fast stop without crashing into him, and there's a good chance they'll have to stop more than once. Beth is all too familiar with the kinds of road hazards they might encounter. They could come across abandoned vehicles, dangerous people, walkers and only God knows what else.
It's so dark a person can't see much of the road ahead, and nothing at all to the right or left. Nothing but pitch black, and nowadays it feels like there's something around every corner just waiting to hurt you, or worse. This trip would be scary even if Daryl were the one driving.
Daryl avoided driving at night because he's aware the light and noise of the vehicle would attract walkers. Tonight, the group risks it. There's imminent and fatal danger at the farm, they have no other choice but to take their chances on the road.
Oh my gosh, Merle wasn't exaggerating, in fact it seemed like way more than 500 of those things, it looked like there was a million of them when the walkers first crested that knoll. It was the most frightening thing she's ever seen.
How is this happening? How can it be that every day brings some new terror that immediately becomes the most frightening thing she has ever seen, or felt, or heard.
Beth's trying so hard to just concentrate on her driving and not think of all those things. She has to pay close attention, but she can't help constantly glancing in her rearview to see if Daryl's out there, while over and over she whispers a prayer, "Please God, please keep Daryl safe. Please."
Daryl doesn't want to leave her, he doesn't want to run back into hell, but if he doesn't do this he knows he'll be leaving Rick, the boy, the old man and Beth's Dad there as walker bait. They won't last more than a couple of minutes once that herd hits the farm. He has to at least try.
Daryl's working feverishly, but the wires are so frayed they're falling apart in his fingers. That bastard rodent really did a number. This is it then, they're not going to make it.
He's not giving up quite yet, he'll work until time runs out, but as he works and the walkers get closer, he knows he needs an alternate plan. There just aren't any real options left, except for him to grab the boy and run with him. The others will have to try and run too. What else is there?
He gives himself one more minute to get the job done, after that he'll have to say screw it, get the kid and get the hell out, but miraculously it happens. He doesn't know how long the fix will hold, but if it will just get them off this farm and a couple miles from the walker herd, at least they'll have a chance. And he knows, if they don't don't show up at the meeting place his brother will eventually double back and come looking for him.
The son of a bitch starts, it's a miracle. He has to grab Rick and practically pin him down to keep him from running back to his wife, as Dale puts it in gear and hits the gas. Beth's Daddy is looking back at his farm, tears running down his cheeks. Daryl sees no shame in that. The old man's been through a lot, he deserves a good cry.
Daryl plops himself down in the passenger seat where he observes, even though it's not a vehicle that's intended to get anywhere fast, Dale does a good job of pushing the old Winnebago. He's not one to make idle conversation but he's curious and asks, "How long ya had this thing?"
Dale keeps his eyes on the road when he answers, "I bought it used five years ago. Me and my wife, Erma, we we're going to tour the whole damn country as soon as I retired. Plans changed when she got cancer. Since she passed it's just been me driving myself around while I try not to think about how much I miss her."
"That sucks, man. Sorry."
In the meantime Rick's gone in the back to be with his boy, and the guy's a mess. Daryl can easily understand why. Shit, how would that be, seeing someone you love taken that way? Daryl feels bad for the deputy, he lost his wife twice today. Both times were her choice, neither time was his choice.
Yeah, it's going to be a lot to deal with, but the officer seems like a guy who can power through stuff, and, of course, there's the boy. He's got his son to think about. That might help.
There's so much to think about, but right now, Daryl's biggest concern is Beth. He's confident she'll do okay driving. She's proven to him more than once she can step up and do whatever has to be done. That doesn't mean he's not plenty worried about all the dangers out there, like walkers, bad players, obstacles in the road. He admits to himself that he's glad Merle will be looking out for her.
He glances over at the Dale grasping the steering wheel and looking so determined. The older man sure isn't shy about putting the pedal to the metal. That's good because all Daryl wants now is to get to Beth.
Once he's able to look in her eyes again and know she's okay, that's when he'll be able to relax. He even catches himself saying a little prayer, asking God to keep her safe. Shit, that woman has changed him.
Stress must be a sleep inducer for Amy, Merle's never understood how that works for some people. It damn sure doesn't work for him, but he smiles when her head drops softly onto his shoulder. She's a sweet gal.
He glances in the rearview and the little girl is sound asleep too, but her Mama's wide awake.
He hears a little anger in her tone when from the back Carol asks, "Why were you so determined to bring me and Sophia with you?"
Merle answers honestly, "Cuz I knew what kinda hell was fixin' ta come down on that place, n I knew you n her wouldn't make it. I didn't wanna see that happen." He throws in some extra truth, "I know a little sumthin' about women like you."
She sounds offended, "What does that mean, 'women like me?'"
"Women who forgot how ta take care of themselves, cuz they been putting up with men who hurt em for too long. Even if ya think the guy's an asshole, ya can't make yourself leave. Either ya think ya don't deserve better, or ya think the sumbitch will kill you or your kid, or both of ya, if ya try'n split. Ya get more n more timid every day ya stay."
Now she sounds offended and angry, "Oh yeah, how would you know anything about any of that, are you that kind of man?"
Now Merle's offended, "Fuck no I ain't." He checks himself, lightens his tone a little, "but my Mama was a woman like you. She loved a man who wasn't worth her spit and she stayed til she died. I got a feelin' you're the same."
She's no less offended, although hearing about his Mama has her heart softening just a little, but she's not done being angry, "So what? You pity me?"
Merle's not used to having deep conversations with women, or anyone else for that matter. Fuck this shit, "What the fuck? Why ya mad at me for tryin' ta help you n your girl? I ain't the one who beat you n I ain't the one who beat your husband. I ain't ever said a mean word to ya, shit I never even gave ya a sour look. I guess I shoulda left you n the little girl back there. Is that what ya wanted?"
She starts quietly crying and apologizes, "You're right. You've been decent to me. I guess...I guess I'm not used to a man just doing something nice for me." She takes a deep breath and continues, "I've never been more scared, and I don't know what's going to happen. How can I keep Sophia safe from all these monsters?"
He doesn't want to fight, that's exactly what he didn't want to do with her. His tone gets kind of gentle, at least as gentle as possible for a man like him, "Hey Honey, I know life was hard before, I know it's even harder now, shit it's no-doubt gonna get a whole lot worse. I dunno what got inta me, but for some reason I kinda like ya and I thought I might tryin' help ya out a little, ya know, ta get through whatever comes."
She's so confused. He's big and rough and about as hotheaded as a man can be, but back at the quarry Merle was always respectful and kind to her. She sniffles, "What about Amy? Won't she be jealous?"
"Jealous? Why would Amy be jealous of you?"
She's offended all over again, "Well gosh, I know I'm not as young and pretty as her, but still a man's girlfriend doesn't usually appreciate him worrying about some other woman."
He can't help snorting a laugh, "Is that what ya think this is? Ya think Amy's my girl? Besides thinkin' I'm an asshole in general, ya also think I'm a dirty old man, huh? I see, ya got a even lower opinion of me than I thought ya had. "
"She's not your girlfriend?"
"Hell no she's not my girlfriend. I'm pretty sure I'm damn near old enough ta be her Daddy. Amy's a sweet girl and knowin' her has made me a better man. I aim ta keep lookin' out for her."
Carol's embarrassed now, the color coming up in her cheeks, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed anything. You've been very kind and I appreciate you helping me and Sophia. I don't know what I would have done otherwise." They both know what would have happened otherwise.
"A'ight, it's done now. We're all good. I ain't used ta all this talkin' and emotional bullshit. Take a nap or sumthin', would ya?" But then he lets himself add, "And for the record, you're every bit as pretty as Amy."
Carol's aware she's made him uncomfortable, she won't push further, "Thank you for everything Merle." And although she's sure she won't sleep, Carol leans back and closes her eyes.
She hears him mumble to himself, "Fuck me." And she fights a smile, she obviously misjudged this man.
Not two minutes later he's cussing again, "Fuck you, you fuckin' bastards."
Just up ahead there's a vehicle sitting sideways and right in the middle of the narrow two lane.
Merle stops the big pickup and the rest of the group follows his lead. Beth, Maggie and Glenn step out of their vehicles and Merle states the obvious, "Not enough room ta drive around."
There are just a couple of things preventing him from opening the door of the stalled car, putting the vehicle in neutral, then pushing it off to the side. The door is locked and there are walkers inside.
The locked door is no real challenge, Merle's popped the lock on plenty of vehicles. He gets his pocket knife out and just a second or two later the deed is done. He could simply pull the door open and shoot the walkers, but he doesn't want to attract more of their kind. Instead he pulls his Army issue Ka-Bar from it's sheath, quickly throws the door open and the walker behind the wheel gets the knife to it's skull.
Merle calmly shuts the car door, walks around to the passenger side and follows the same plan, opening the door and quickly stabbing the walker.
Carol can't make herself wait in the pickup another minute. She hurries over to where Beth is standing, just as Beth casually says, "Before we push the car off the road, let's open the trunk. There might be some things in there worth taking."
Carol gasps at the thought, but Merle agrees, "Good idea," and Glenn and Maggie just stand there looking a little stunned. Beth knows it sounds cold, but she learned from day one with Daryl, this is their new reality, "We can't afford to pass up any opportunity, we might find something in there we can use. I know it seems terrible, but this is how we live now. It's how we survive."
The trunk isn't a treasure trove, but there are indeed things they can use. A couple of cases of bottled water, box matches, some canned goods and blankets. They load the newly found supplies in the bed of Merle' pickup and Merle puts the boxes of matches in a gallon sized plastic bag, smiling, "No dope in the bag these days, just nice dry matches.
He's impressed with his brother's girl, she knows a thing or two about getting by. He tosses the bag to Beth and says, "You keep lookout while we move the car. You see anythin', shoot ta kill." His words remind her of his brother.
Merle pulls the walker out from behind the wheel and drags him to the side of the road, then slides himself into the driver's seat, puts the car in neutral and jumps back out, "Aight, the rest of y'all, let's push this thing outta the way." It's just a minute later the car is on the side of the road and there's plenty of room for them to pass.
In the quiet calm of nighttime in the country the sound carries and Beth's sure it's vehicle noise she hears. She turns to look at Merle and he smiles and nods, "Yeah, that sounds like it."
The words are just out of his mouth when they see the dim headlights in the distance. Beth begins silently begging God, "Please, please, let it be Daryl. Please God."
It's only a few short minutes but it seems like hours before the big RV pulls up, stopping when it reaches the group. Daryl jumps out so fast it's like he's flying and he runs straight to Beth. He grabs her like he's desperate to hold her, because he is. His face nuzzles into the warm slope of her neck and he's holding her so tightly she can barely breathe.
She doesn't mind at all, all she cares about is he's back. Daryl's back and his strong arms around her feel so good.
Merle just smiles and shakes his head, he knows he won't get any news out of Daryl for a while. He can't resist saying, "Careful little brother, don't crush her," As he walks to the driver's side of the motorhome and asks Dale, "Hey man, who all made it?"
Dale responds, "We got out of there in the nick of time, thanks to your brother. Rick, Carl, Herschel, me and Daryl, we all made it and with no new injuries." He looks grim when he adds, "Lori, Shane and Jimmy weren't so lucky."
Merle nods in acknowledgement then tells the assembled group, "We're just about 15 miles from a place I know where we can make camp. The vehicles will be off the highway n there's trees for cover. It's up ta all y'all ta decide, but I thought we could hide out there for a couple days, give that little boy some time ta finish healin' while we try'n figure out where the hell we go from here."
The small group agrees, they need time to think and to plan their next move. They also need to get off the road now, somewhere safer. There's no time for Beth and Maggie to check on their Daddy, that will have to wait until they make camp.
Beth and Daryl hurry to the van, and he smiles when he asks, "Ya wanna drive or ya want me to?"
She appreciates the laugh, it helps to ease the tension she's been feeling for hours, "I want you to drive me now, and forever."
His hand caresses her cheek when he smiles, "Good, that's what I want too."
Engines are starting up and Daryl quickly gets behind the wheel, while Beth sits herself down in the passenger seat. As they closely follow behind his brother's pickup Beth questions Daryl about how her Daddy is doing. His mouth turns up in a small smile when he answers, "Thanks ta Merle, I'm pretty sure he has one helluva headache."
She smiles too, "Yes, I bet, but he's also alive because of you and your brother."
Daryl starts chewing his lip, she understands. The man is never comfortable with even the slightest praise. He tells her, "Your Daddy's not happy, he didn't wanna leave his home, I get it, but he gets it too. He was awake, lookin' out the window, he seen what happened ta Shane n them, he seen the dead tearin' through the place. He knows what woulda happened if he stayed."
"What Daryl? What exactly happened?"
He draws in a deep breath and tells her all of it. The trouble he had with the wires, and how Rick set fire to the barn in hopes it would distract the walkers and buy them time, and how Rick hoped Shane, Lori and Jimmy would make a run for the motorhome with him. He tells Beth the gruesome story of how they choose to stay and what the walkers did.
"Oh my gawd, that's terrible Daryl. I can't imagine anyone having to see that, poor Rick. Thank God Carl didn't see it."
They're quiet after that, reflecting on what happened at the farm and wondering what's next for them.
It's not much longer, Merle said just 15 more miles, and soon he's slowing way down as he turns off the two-lane and they're back on a rough dirt road. Beth can hear the jars and everything else in the back of the van rattling. Hopefully it's all secured well enough and they won't lose anything.
They've gone about a mile when Merle stops, gets out of his pickup and walks to the driver's side of the van, Daryl rolls the window down. Merle suggests they get in formation like a wagon train, but instead of circling wagons they'll be circling vehicles.
Of course when the four vehicles get in formation it's actually a lopsided square, not that it matters. It's the best they can do for a fortress, and as everyone gets themselves situated, Merle and Daryl set up the tent in the center of vehicles, using the camping lanterns for light.
Merle tells Carol and Amy, "You ladies and the little girl have the tent, I'll sleep in the pickup."
Amy attempts to argue, "No Merle, that's not fair, you sleep in the tent too. It's not going to bother me a bit to share."
Carol agrees with Amy, but Merle doesn't, "Nah, you ladies will get a better night's sleep if ya don't have ta listen ta me snore."
Beth and Maggie finally have the chance to go to the motorhome and talk to their Daddy. The conversation is heartbreaking. One minute he's angry about what happened and that he was dragged unconscious from his home, the next minute he's sad and crying and grateful to be alive.
The sisters do what they can to comfort him, and Beth tells him, "It's for the best Daddy. We have to stick together, we have to fight together if we want to survive. We're a family."
Dale agrees, "She's right Herschel. Now how about you ladies give me a hand. This dining table converts to a nice bed, it will be a good comfortable place for your Daddy to sleep."
Amy walks in the RV and smiles, "Hi everyone, gosh Mister Herschel, I'm so glad you came with us, I would hate to lose you." Then she shrugs, "I was just going to check on Rick and Carl."
Dale directs her, "They're in the bed in the back."
Everyone wonders why Amy would come to the motorhome tonight to check on the deputy and his son, but no one wonders out loud. They keep their curiosity to themselves.
Hershel wants his daughters to stay in the RV with him, but each draws her line. Beth shocks herself when she's so blunt, "Daddy, I'm staying with Daryl. As long as he's alive, and I'm alive, I'll always be staying with Daryl."
Maggie quickly jumps in, "And I'll be staying with Glenn, Daddy. Your daughters are grown now, you have to let us make our choices. It doesn't mean we love you any less."
The old man's not happy but he's too exhausted to argue any more tonight.
Merle pokes his head in the door and announces, "A'ight everyone, time ta shut camp down for the night."
They don't argue with the man, he's gotten them this far. He walks Amy to her tent and she smiles, "Thank you Merle. I love you," and hugs him around the waist. She's the only person he can recall ever saying those words to him, he responds, "Yeah, you too Sugar, now get some sleep."
Beth sees Daryl waiting for her by the van door and hurries to him. Glenn's got the hatchback open on the Subaru, waiting for Maggie.
Everyone's tucked away for the night and camp gets quiet.
She can't help smiling when she steps up in the van, Daryl's got the blackout curtain up and their new bed is all ready for them. She's glad she brought the quilt and shams, the world has gotten so ugly it's nice to have something pretty to look at. Oh my, he teased her relentlessly when she took that electric candle from the sporting goods store, now it's softly flickering near the head of their bed.
Daryl shrugs, "We didn't lose much, a jar of peaches. Shit, why couldn't it be green beans or sumthin'? Anyway, I got it all cleaned up."
"Thank you for that, I just had to talk to my Daddy."
"Yeah. I know. It's all good."
"Um, I have to use the toilet and…oh my gawd this is so embarrassing, but it's been hours since I…Daryl, I'm having my…I'm having my period."
"Oh."
"This should be the last day, but still I've got to, you know, change something and clean up and stuff."
"Yeah, um, I was just gonna go out n have a smoke. Be back in a few minutes."
"I'm sorry, and thank you."
He's as uncomfortable as he's ever been, he doesn't like even thinking about shit like this, but he says, "Don't be sorry, it's just natural."
Fifteen minutes later their teeth are brushed, she's in her soft cozy yoga pants and a clean t-shirt and they're in their new bed and holding each other close, trying to put the horrors of the day behind them. He's softly brushing her hair back with his fingers when he apologizes, "I'm sorry about today, but I had ta make ya go on without me."
"Daryl, believe me, I get it. I'm not mad, I admire you for being so brave, I just thank God you're here now. I was scared to death. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."
He tries to make a joke, "If sumthin' happened ta me you'd have a new boyfriend in five minutes."
She buries her face in his chest and he can feel her trembling. Her voice quivers when she says, "How could you say that to me? My gawd, why would you even think something like that?"
"Hey, hey now. I's just kiddin', I didn't mean ta say sumthin' wrong. Don't cry, please don't cry. Shit girl, if I's ta lose ya I don't even know what I'd do. Back there at the farm, when I thought I might not get that damn RV started again I thought, I gotta get back ta Beth. I's gonna grab that little boy n run like hell til I got to ya. No shit."
"Daryl, I want you to know something," her fingers lightly skim along his cheek when she says the words, "I love you Daryl Dixon."
That's what this is, he's sure of it now. He holds her a little tighter and whispers, "I love ya too. I guess I knew that for a while now."
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A/N Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and if neither applies, Oh Happy Day! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the sweet little exchange at the end. Please leave a comment. There's a chapter photo on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, please check it out. I hope to see you back next week for more of Love's Long Road. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee