A/N Thank you so much! I hope everyone's holiday was merry and bright :)
Beth and Daryl said their "I Love Yous" and we'll read about the aftermath. There are going to be some changes for the group, an overture is made, and an interesting decision by some of our group.
Enjoy!
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"Sure?"
"Daryl what are you talking about, of course I'm sure. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have said it. What about you, are you sure?"
"Well yeah."
"Okay then."
"Yeah, okay then." Shit, what the fuck is he thinking? He did it again. Why is he always questioning her? Fuck all this thinking, he does what he wishes he would have done right from the start. He leans in for the kiss.
Now that they said what they said the kiss seems to hold extra magic. She snuggles in closer and his hand slips inside the back of her t-shirt, his fingers gently skimming along her soft skin. She feels the rough texture of his skin but she doesn't mind at all, how could she when his touch is so sensual and tender.
This just doesn't feel like the right time for their first time, but that doesn't mean they aren't sharing plenty of love and closeness. There's lots of tentative touching, deep kissing and teasing playfulness, but they don't go there. Still, it feels so nice to be so close, just like it felt so right to finally say what they've been feeling.
One thing they're sure of, they'll be good.
He mutters, "This happened kinda fast didn't it? I thought these kinds of feelings took a while."
Beth cradles his face in her hands and smiles, "I don't know, but in this new world, when something brings you happiness it's probably a good idea to grab onto it and never let go."
She can't quite believe her own words. She's never been one to throw caution to the wind and jump in with both feet, but then she never felt this way about anyone, and besides, this is an entirely different world they're living in.
He shrugs, "You're right. I think about shit too much."
She doesn't mention she's fully aware of that.
There's something else she doesn't mention to Daryl, this is so different than she always imagined falling in love would be. Not just Daryl, but yes, he's very different than the kind of man she expected to spend her life with. Now though, she can't imagine being with anyone but him.
There's a little more to it, she always imagined when she fell in love her Mama would host a big engagement party at the farm, they talked about it more than once. Everyone would be so happy and there would be dancing and celebrating of her and her fiancé. Sometime in early spring, before the weather turns too hot and the bugs come out, the happy couple would have a beautiful wedding at the farm, with Daddy doing the honors. They'd buy a nice little home not too far from her folks, and in two or three years they'd start building a family. Two children, a boy and a girl, and a little fluffy dog.
She'll wait and share that dream with Daryl some other time. Besides, what do those old plans and dreams matter now? This life will never be like her old life.
Daryl's holding her body close to his, thinking this isn't how this should have gone. He should be taking her home to his little house in Valdosta, she could go to college there if that's what she wanted. He wouldn't mind if she fixed his place up how she wanted either, she could decorate it any way she likes. He'd just keep working hard and trying to make her happy.
Fuck this shit, none of that is ever going to happen now.
"Daryl, what do you think is going to happen with the world? Do you think we'll ever be able to settle down somewhere, just you and me and have a life?"
He can be negative, but not now. He doesn't tell her he has doubts, he doesn't want to talk about harsh reality. Besides, who knows for sure? "Truth? I got no idea Beth, but I'll tell ya what. If that's what ya want, and if there's any way we can do that, maybe it'll happen."
He's suddenly so serious, "None a this, I mean the part about you n me, is anythin' I saw comin'. I spent my whole life sure I was never gonna hook up with a woman n settle down. It seemed all wrong for a guy like me, and besides, I was happy livin' life on my own."
His hand rubs softly over her shoulder and his voice becomes more quiet, "You came along n everythin' changed. I wish we could find a place for just you n me too. I ain't really what they call a people person, but for now, I think we're better off bein' with a group." He laughs softly, adding, "Besides, what more could ya want, this van is practically a damn palace."
She smiles as she snuggles closer and agrees, "You're right. I love this van, I don't need more. As long as I'm with you I could live in it forever."
"Yeah, well I don't know about that, but it's good for now. It's probably best ta just roll with it n see what happens. Maybe someday we'll figure it all out."
Merle never sleeps well, he blames it on too many years of doing speed, and his overall wariness of the world in general. He's a guy with a million acquaintances and no real friends. The only person he's ever trusted is his brother.
He's laying on the back seat of the pickup hoping to catch a few winks when he hears footsteps approaching, followed by a timid knock on the pickup door. He lifts the lock, opens the door and Carol's standing there. Her eyes cast down when she shyly asks, "Can I come in?"
Yep, he has a pretty good idea what this is all about and his mood immediately darkens. He likes her, he thought he might like to get to know her better, and dammit, he was hoping she wouldn't pull this kind of shit. Well fuck, he might as well get it over with, he replies, "Yeah, yeah sure. Ya shouldn't be out wanderin' around in the dark."
He knows what's about to happen, and he's 100% sure it's not going to happen because she has any feelings for him. For her it's all about desperation. She had a man who beat her, but in his way he also protected her and the girl. Now he's dead, the whole world's gone to hell in a hand basket and Carol and her daughter are alone. No place is safe and there's no one looking out for them.
It's a story as old as time. Merle's sure she's hoping she found herself someone who would protect them. She'll do what she has to do to get some security for herself and her child.
He's hoping he's wrong, but no, it doesn't take her long to get to the point.
His body is tense, he wishes he was anywhere else. Shit, he does like her and that's what makes this suck so bad, but he lets her say what she came to say, "Merle, Sophia and I wouldn't have made it here tonight if you hadn't brought us," she starts rubbing her hand along his leg and makes the offer he knew was coming, "I'll do anything you want Merle, anything, if you'll take us in and take care of us. Please, please."
He places his hand over hers and lifts it off his leg, "Is that all ya thinka yourself? Is it the best ya think a me? Ya think if ya latch onta me everythin' will be okay? I'll kill walkers for ya all day and you'll screw me all night, is that it?"
He sees her cringe at his words, but shit, she needs to hear the truth. "Let's be clear, as long as I'm around here I'ma try'n help lookout for everyone, includin' you n your girl, but I ain't for hire." He shrugs, "Besides, if ya knew me you'd know, I ain't the kind of man who sticks around."
She begins to quietly cry, apologizing over and over, and fuck him, he wants to hold her, he wants to tell her it's all right and that he will watch out for her and her girl, but he won't say it. He'd like to lay her down right here and right now, but he won't do that either. Shit, the fact that he likes her is what holds him back, it's why it's important to him that she likes him too, or nothing will ever happen between them. He's not usually that way about women. This woman's different.
"C'mon now, I'll walk ya back ta the tent."
The group are all up early and the mood is solemn. The overwhelming question on everyone's mind is, what now?
The morning air is cold, Daryl builds a fire and they all gather around, sitting as close to the warmth as they can get. Except for the Dixon brothers, they're pacing like a couple of cats. Amy tries to lighten the mood by making a little joke, "Are we having a town hall meeting?"
Dale chimes in, "Not a bad idea Amy, we should elect a chairman, a leader. Merle? Are you thinking to put yourself in charge now?"
Merle snorts a laugh and answers, "Nah, that ain't my style. I only came ta warn you folks about them walkers n try'n get ya outta there before it was too late. As for this place, I just happened ta know about it cuz I was through here once. That don't mean I'm in charge."
His brother won't want to be in charge either, Merle knows it's not Daryl's thing, but he does have a suggestion, "I think ya got yourselves a natural born leader in Officer Friendly."
The group seems to be in agreement, the deputy has done right by them ever since he arrived at the quarry.
It's a good choice, Rick really is a natural born leader. He's had thoughts and ideas running through his head all night about what they should do next. He takes a swallow from his coffee cup and responds, "I guess the biggest question we all have is what's next?"
Again they nod their heads in agreement and Dale suggests, "Merle, I heard you got that tent at a campground not far from here. That got me thinkin', maybe we ought to double back there and do some serious scavenging, and while we're at it find me a more reliable vehicle, and something for Rick too."
Rick agrees, "That could be a good idea."
Dale nods, "It's a miracle Daryl got the motorhome running, but what if he can't the next time? Besides, that big son of a gun uses a lot of fuel and we all know fuel's going to become more and more scarce."
Rick asks, "What was the situation at that campground Merle? Were there some smaller RVs around?"
Before Merle can answer, Maggie jumps in, "I think that's such a good idea, there might be something there for all of us. I'm perfectly fine if I have to keep sleeping in the back of the Subaru, but my aching back would prefer something softer."
That's when Beth adds, "And gas, there's got to be gas in those campers and other vehicles we can siphon, we're going to need it."
Merle responds to their questions, "I wasn't interested in gettin' myself an RV, so I didn't really check em out. I just siphoned the fuel outta the biggest one. Probably still some in it. I was at the place once before, years ago. It's one a them remote campgrounds for people who really wanna get away. No services, dry campin' only, so everyone that was there probably had extra fuel and plenty of batteries."
"What I remember from when I was there the other day is, I seen a pop-up camper and a small teardrop, now that I'm thinking about it, there was an older pickup with a cab over camper. That would be a good setup for you n Hershel. You plan on gettin' your own rigl, right Rick?"
"Yeah, something for Carl and I. Nothing big, nothing fancy."
Carol's waiting, will Merle mention something for her and Sophia? He doesn't, he only smiles, "If no one's raided the place yet, we oughta be able ta get ourselves a pretty haul, fuel, batteries and eats."
Daryl speaks now, "Yeah, like Dale said though, we can't be gettin' gas guzzlers. Most RVs use a lotta fuel." Then he asks, "So, who's goin' and who's waitin' here?"
No one wants to wait in camp, not after yesterday. They want to stick together. They'll all go.
They're all in agreement and the small group gathers every gas can they've got between them, stashing them all in the back of Merle's pickup. While everyone's occupied with that, Carol goes to Merle and quietly asks, "Can Sophia and I ride with you? I promise I won't bother you anymore."
He looks in those soft blue eyes and caves, "Yeah, sure. Go on n get in."
Just then Rick calls out to the group, "We leave in five!"
Daryl advises, "A'ight everyone, stay close but not too close, we'll keep a slow pace. Watch out for road hazards, dead people hazards, and the worst kinda hazard, the livin'."
All eyes are on the motorhome, it's the vehicle most likely to breakdown, if it does they'll cram everyone into the other vehicles.
They backtrack a little, but they're still traveling away from the farm.
That's when an idea comes to Daryl, he's a little reluctant to mention it to Beth. He's afraid she'll be offended, or worse, hurt, so he's surprised when she responds with enthusiasm, "That's a great idea Daryl. Yes, let's do it."
They'll share the idea with Rick and Merle later, after the group is done scavenging the campground. If there's an agreement, they'll come up with a plan.
Merle wasn't kidding when he said the place was remote. No one thinks the old motorhome with survive the rough terrain, but it does. It's easy to why why folks would make the drive, the place is pretty and peaceful, grassy and treed and near a nice little stream. But it's definitely not designed for luxury RVer's. It's suited to hikers, latter day hippies and nature lovers.
It doesn't appear that anyone besides Merle has stumbled on the place since the turn, that's good for them. They might get the fuel, food and other necessities they'd hoped for.
There are a few walkers around, all are mobile except for one whose legs appear to have been crushed. They're growling and threatening and one is just about to attack Herschel, but Daryl quickly puts an arrow through it's skull and the skulls of two others, meanwhile Merle plunges a knife through the skulls of two others, and Rick puts down a particularly gross and snarling one. Daryl warns the group, "Be careful when ya open RV doors n whatever, there could be walkers inside just waitin' for a snack ta show up."
The group begins to cautiously search each rig, taking everything they can possibly use. First aid kits are a good find, crowbars for weapons, candles, lanterns and battery powered lamps. Filet knives, bottled water, canned and packaged food. Neither Dixon brother, nor Rick, pass up any bottles of booze, not even warm beers. Like Daryl says, "A cold creek, even cold weather will cool em right down."
He walks a couple of found six packs over to the stream, secures them among some rocks and smiles to himself. A cold beer's going to hit the spot.
There's the tiniest teardrop trailer Maggie's ever seen, just big enough for a little sofa that converts into a small bed. About the size of a double bed. She asks, "Rick, do you think it will add too much weight if Glenn and I hook this up? It would sure make a better bed than the Subaru, and we could fill the back of the car with supplies."
"Should be fine, you know how to hook it up?"
She shrugs, "No, not really."
He calls Daryl over, "Can you help Glenn with this?"
Before Daryl shows Glenn how to attach the hitch, or anything else, he tells them what they need to do first. Maggie throws out the bedding in the little teardrop. They retrieve their own bedding from the Subaru, then proceed to load up the back of their car with supplies.
Once all that is done Daryl comes over with his tools, mounts a hitch onto the car and hooks the small trailer to it, then tells Glenn, "There. Now ya seen it done, next time ya know howta do it yourself."
They find what seems like the perfect solution for Dale. A nice pickup with a cab over camper. The bed over the cab is big and comfortable looking, but Herschel probably won't be able to get up there. It will work for Dale and the convertible dinette for Herschel's bed. Amy insists that for now, she'll stay with the men. There's a drop down bunk for her.
Later Beth will ask her why and she'll smile and say, "Dale got me to the farm, and now I can pay him back a little. He gets tired, I'll help him drive. I can also make sure they both eat and wash regularly, and besides, I like their company."
Beth hugs her and smiles, "I love you Amy, you're so good."
One of the long-gone campers did a nice job of converting a standard pickup into a camper. He added a camper shell and then turned the bed of the truck into a homemade camper. There's a bed not unlike the bed Daryl built in the van. There are cabinets, a small bench seat and a bucket toilet. There are even a few tools. The gas tank is three quarters full and there's a full can of gas bungeed to the bumper. "This'll work just right for me and Carl."
Merle tells himself there's no reason for him to do anything, he's not responsible for them, but he feels the pressure. It's not right to have Carol and her girl sleeping in a tent. Not because it's particularly uncomfortable, it's a damn nice tent. But it doesn't offer any protection from man, beast or walker. "Maybe I oughta hook up ta that other little trailer for Carol n the girl. I got the cab a my truck ta sleep in."
He doesn't want the added weight of the trailer, or added trouble maneuvering. If they have to dodge walkers or they get into dicey road conditions he'll probably lose it or wreck it, or abandon it himself. But Carol and the girl need help, and fuck him, he cares too much not to see that they get it.
He show Carol the small travel trailer and she beams, and he lets her know, "Just you n the girl. I sleep in the pickup."
He thinks of all the women he's been with, shit, he's never had one bother him the way she does.
Once everyone has their rigs ready, Rick suggests, "We're all set now and this place seems pretty quiet. What do you think about just making camp here tonight?"
Daryl's the first to respond, "Good idea, I still got enough daylight ta go huntin', might bring back some fresh meat."
Beth smiles at him, "I guess I'd better grab my bow and come along."
He agrees, "Yeah, I might need some help."
Merle's watching, smiling and shaking his head, that girl has cast some kind of spell on little brother.
Once they're away from camp and out of earshot he asks her, "Ya sure Beth? It ain't gonna hurt your feelins or anythin' like that?"
"No, I mean, everything that's happened is really sad and depressing, this might actually be the one bright spot. I can say goodbye to so many things."
"A'ight then."
They walk side by side along the pretty little stream, smiling at each other and affectionately bumping shoulders, then Daryl hears them off in the distance, but not too far. He stops, placing a finger to his lips, and Beth stops. He listens intently, then points to his left and she nods.
They creep slowing through the drying grass and there, about 5 yards off they see them, Guinea Fowl. Some farmer must have been raising them and at some point a few got out. They've been breeding.
They quietly load their arrows, Daryl nods and they shoot. He hits one, quickly reloads and gets another, Beth misses with her first shot, reloads and hits one with her next. Daryl takes one more and as they're pulling arrows he smiles at her, "Ya did real good girl, we're havin' fancy chicken for dinner."
Carol, Sophia, Amy and Beth are busy plucking feathers, while Daryl builds an oversized spit for cooking the four birds. Dale peels the last of the potatoes and boils them on the stove of his old motorhome, might as well use the last of the propane. Merle opens a couple of cans of peas he found in his "new" trailer, dumps them in a pan and sets them by the fire. They'll warm by the time the birds cook. Carl's feeling almost as good as new and him and his Dad take turns slowly turning the spit.
They set up folding tables from a couple of the RVs, and when everyone sits to eat, Carol hurries to sit next to Merle, smiling shyly while her thigh presses against his. He should get up and move somewhere else. He doesn't.
Amy smiles remarking, "Gee, Beth, I remember when you were a vegan for a while, now you're out killing forest creatures for our dinner."
Beth laughs, "I've become more savage with age."
Stomachs are full and the group is relaxed and when the time seems right, Daryl taps Merle and Rick on the shoulder and says, "C'mon, I got sumthin ta show ya."
Beth asks, "Can I come?"
He smiles, "Yeah sure."
The small group follows Daryl to the stream, and the first order of business is to pull the beers from the water and hand everyone a can. Beth smiles but declines, and Daryl teases, "One a these days I'ma get ya drunk as a little skunk."
Merle asks, "So what's up little brother."
Daryl bites his lower lip before answering, "Me n Beth were talkin' n ya know, them walkers, it's not like they stay in one place, they're always movin', lookin' for livin' food. They're probably clear a the farm by now and we was thinkin', a small group of us oughta go back n see what's left of it."
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A/N I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a comment. There's a chapter photo on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, please check it out. I'll be back next week with a new chapter of Love's Long Road, I hope you'll be here too. Until then, Happy New Year, and remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee